Episode 7 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Welcome to Whoops I Missed The Bus, the show with more highlights

in 15 minutes than the World Cup's given you in two whole weeks!

So, what do you think about the footie, eh?

CHEERING AND SCREAMING

Have you had a nightmare with that there nature?

Ahhh! Look at the size of those teeth. They are terrifying!

And what on earth is she talking about?

Rules must be followed if high standards are to be achieved.

As always, we're here to throw you up another fine week on CBBC.

But I have no idea what's happening.

Luckily our resident video bloggers, Lauren and Myles are in charge.

It's our show and we can say what we like.

All right, tiger, calm down!

In the red corner, it's our first blogger, Myles!

Another football World Cup is here.

Just like there was four years ago.

And then four years before that.

And then... There's just been a lot of World Cups, maybe too many.

And because of that, Match Of The Day Kickabout's

been doing some special programmes from Brazil,

looking at what's been going on at the World Cup.

Football - that's what's been going on at the World Cup.

The beautiful game, back of the net.

I don't know if you can tell,

but I never really used to play football at school.

The only thing that I could contribute

to playground football matches was my jumper.

"Myles is here, we've got a goal post."

And then when I lost my jumper, that was a bad day.

In England, football lovers put themselves through

the same thing every year.

And on Match Of The Day Kickabout we have got to see the England game

through the eyes of two families.

-The football is on!

-If England lose another match, they are out.

There's the hope...

-Come on!

-Goal!

-What a save!

There's the highs...

CHEERING AND SCREAMING

And of course, there's the lows.

-Oh, he lost it again.

-Come on.

So we're watching people reacting to watching the football.

What they need now is people reacting to the people

reacting to the people watching the football.

"Oh, he's excited about the football."

"Oh, he's sad about all the football."

In Match Of The Day Kickabout, there's a segment where you have

to kick a ball in the bin.

Once the ball is in the air, we flick the ball from one side to the

other, so we go inside of the foot to the outside.

So this should be done in one fluid motion.

Once you've mastered that, you've just done the Elastica.

So I thought I'd try and give it a go.

So I didn't get the ball in the bin, but still better than England.

-GROANING

-All right, sorry!

CHEERING

You know what makes me livid? Yeah? Why am I not in Brazil?!

I can talk about football! I can dribble, usually when I'm sleeping.

Anyhow, what's been making YOU livid this week?

What makes me livid about CBBC?

Is when I am happily eating my breakfast

and then Deadly 60 comes on or Deadly Pole To Pole

and I'm like, "Ugh, bugs!"

So if I put my fingers anywhere near that one, I get bitten.

Well, Hacker goes on about meat paste just a bit too much.

And Dodger's binges puts me right off my tea.

Who needs meat paste when you can have caviar, eh?

Toot, toot, sniff!

What makes me livid is when Hacker goes on and on and on about me

and my dry hair.

Yeah, you've ruined this with your dry hair and your ill fitting top!

Hacker, leave it!

Hey, Wilco, who let you in?

Anyway, enough of this lividness, for we must venture

forth behind-the-scenes of CBBC's comedy drama, Hank Zipzer.

Hank Zipzer is about a little boy.

He is about 12. He is dyslexic.

Hank is a pretty crazy character, actually.

He's always getting into mischief or trouble,

so you never know what he's going to do next.

Hank makes quite a lot of schemes and plans, not because he

disobeys what people tell me to do, he just thinks in a different way.

I think Mr Rock really gives him hope

because he always gets normally good grades in music.

Welcome to the team.

Obviously, there's Miss Adolf and she's really mean to him

-all the time. And she thinks his work is all rubbish.

-B+.

-Yes!

I got a B+. A B+!

And one mark off for not writing your full name

and date in the upper right-hand corner.

I think she's a marvellous character.

Rules must be followed if high standards are to be achieved.

She believes in teaching and she doesn't believe in bad behaviour.

Henry Zipzer!

Hank gets along well with his mum,

pretty much all the time, except when he's in trouble.

Henry, you get out here right now.

But his dad is was pressurising him.

You can do it, Hank!

And making him do very, very well.

Sport is all about the winning.

Hank has quite a close relationship with his family.

Apart from his sister, Emily.

Zipzer, Emily Zipzer.

-Oh, you must be related to Hank.

-No.

I don't have a brother.

Emily is sort of one of those kids that thinks she knows everything

and she does know quite a lot,

but the one thing she doesn't know a lot about is dyslexia.

So she just thinks Hank's lazy and stupid.

Just turn it to medium heat. It's easy!

Even Catherine could do it.

Dyslexia affects Hank's life quite monumentally.

Niagara Falls is on the bore...

Even though he does have a disability with reading and writing,

he just tries his best in school.

Border, sorry.

He never gets any good grades and that probably always puts him down.

But Hank's glass is always half-full instead of half empty

cos he's always picking himself up again.

On the border between America and Canada,

"Boredom" wouldn't have made any sense.

I tell you what, Hank Zipzer looks like one amazing show.

-Is there anything I forgot there, Mr Rock?

-Action!

Watch Hank Zipzer only on CBBC.

Naomi's Nightmares Of Nature is back.

So what I like to do when I'm watching this show is

settle down to a nice tasty breakfast.

Male hippos mark their territory by flicking their tail from side

to side, propelling their poo as far and wide as they possibly can.

Hmm... Probably just leave that.

No worries, no worries at all.

What about, a nice bit of jam?

He's drawn blood! Oh, no!

Oh. Mm-hm. No.

It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. It's fine.

What I'll do instead is eat this solitary hard-boiled egg.

It's just an egg, nothing wrong with that, probably.

It's the night they lay their eggs.

Oh, come on! Why do they show this at breakfast time?

Right, that's all disgusting.

What this show needs is some nice cute, teeny-weeny baby animals.

When turtle hatchlings emerge, they are tiny and vulnerable.

Aw, they are so tiny and vulnerable!

Determined to make it to the sea...

They'll make it - it's not that far!

..they embark on their gruelling journey.

But it is now that the beaches become a battleground.

-Hold up!

-These predators have been waiting for this very moment.

Run! Run, guys!

Run with your little flippers across the difficult terrain! Go!

I can't handle this. Can we edit in some happy music, make this OK?

# Don't stop me

# Cos I'm having a good time, having a good time

# I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies

# Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity... #

So, guys, I've been wanting a pet for a very long time now,

and I couldn't decide, do I want a dog? Do I want a cat?

But after watching Naomi's Nightmare of Nature...

That is absolutely incredible!

That's right! I've only gone and got myself a pet crocodile!

Say hello to Simon, everybody.

Oh, no, there's no need to be scared, he's got a lovely temperament.

They just lay motionless.

Yep, quite peaceful.

You can barely see him breathing.

He is totally house trained.

Then, in the blink of an eye, they can whip into action.

No! No!

Aaargh!

SHE GRUNTS Now, stay down!

Oh, sorry! Where was I?

CBBC has a lot of shows,

and recently I've noticed they've been given some pretty silly titles.

The Worst Year Of My Life Again.

Not very catchy.

I'm just worried you friends are going to be confused

when you tell them how much you love it.

"I love the Worst Year Of My Life."

"Are you OK? What happened?

"You loved the worst year of your life."

"No, not my life."

"Well, whose worst life? Whose year...?"

Also, if you put "again" in the title, it gets confusing

if you want to re-watch it.

"I'm just going to go watch

"Worst Year Of My Life Again...again."

And again. And again and again. And again and again.

And... The Dog Ate My Homework.

I'm seeing that and thinking it's just going to be

an hour of a dog sitting there eating people's homework.

A bit a maths? Oh, the science is a bit more chewy.

But when I get there, there's no dogs eating anything.

Zero dogs eating anything. They're just asking questions.

It's just like a quiz.

Blue Peter's a good one though, probably wouldn't have

been on TV for 50 years if it was called Green...Steven.

"What are we going to call this show."

"I'm wearing blue and I'm called Peter."

"Brilliant. Lets go to lunch."

There should be more shows like Arthur - it's short, it's catchy.

"What's it about?"

"Arthur." "What else?"

"Arthur." It's all Arthur. In the title - Arthur.

I know there'll be Arthur. I expect Arthur, always Arthur.

I always wonder why they need help on Help! My School Trip is Magic.

Who are the saying help to, and why do they need help?

Help, he's doing magic tricks.

Yeah, he is! It's all magic - it's amazing.

It's not like it's Help! A Lion's Escaped From A Zoo On A School Trip.

If that was the case, "help" would be the right word.

Don't even get me started on Whoops I Missed The Bus,

what does that even mean? Every week, we miss the bus.

Somebody just needs to look at the bus timetable before we go

wear a watch and then we won't keep missing it.

I blame Lauren, if I'm honest.

BELL RINGS

OK, did you know that sheep love CBBC?

What, "ew" don't believe me?! Ha-ha-ha! Well, watch this.

What you thinking, pet?

Ooh, it's Strange Hill High!

But by the by, back to my licking.

Oi, Stefan Gates! Think you can cook, son?

You ain't seen nothing - wait till you see my shepherd's pie.

SLURPING

While you're there, get us a yoghurt - a peach one.

I said, "A peach one!"

Tracy Beaker's one of my favourite shows.

I said, "A peach..."

Make sure it's peach.

Lovely beach towel this, isn't it, Barry?

Lovely texture to it.

What we watching here?

Just some CBBC. Ooh!

Does your pet want to be a star?

Well, head to the CBBC website and search "pet"

to make their dreams come true.

OK, it's CBBC's best bits time.

Get ready for this week's star players.

What do you mean I'm not in it?! I'm not in this one?

Oh, now, I'm livid again!

There you go, that's snappers, what you're doing.

I'm snapping.

Believe it or not, it's harder than it looks.

I got...long arms! Woo, look at me long limes, ooh, look at em.

Hang on!

Peer into my arms.

No, come on, son, put your dukes up, buster, we've got beef.

# All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah,

# Is somebody to you

# All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah,

# Is somebody to you... #

If he wants to have a sleep, we'll cover him up,

but to be honest don't do that very often.

With the help of my handy flipchart, which is secreted west of the stage,

I shall now reveal the World Cup winners.

I'll do it now...

Football's a match, the flipchart fell off.

There you go. I've go long arms - look at my arms.

The length of my arms is uncanny.

-ROARING

-Ow!

I don't think we're the only ones on this island!

Where's Matthews when you need someone to panic?

By the sea! By the sea! By the beautiful sea!

ROARING

Emily says, "I think, instead of ball boys,

"there should be multiple...a load of me running about."

I've enough problems dealing with one massive yonk-sack,

I don't want young pips milling about.

Who's that then? This massive yonk-sack?

Charming.

This is how we did it in police training,

and this is how were going to do it today.

And you are going to wish you had never been born!

Chris, what time does Andy Murray go to bed?

-I don't know, what time?

-Ten o'clock.

-Ruined that.

-Tennis. Ten-ish.

Tennis. Oh...

# It isn't filled

# Oh, with the gladness

# Of love

# For one another

# Yeah... #

I'm not the girl you want to be messing with.

Well, I ain't the kind of girl you want to be messing with either!

I mean man. I'm not... I'm not... I'm not a man. I am a man!

So, that's it for Whoops I Missed The Bus.

We'll be back next Saturday to restock your televisual larder.

But if you want more from the world of CBBC,

then check out the iPlayer reet noo!

Now, where's that bus?

Oh, not again!