Episode 7 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS


Episode 7

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Welcome to Whoops I Missed The Bus, the show with more highlights

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in 15 minutes than the World Cup's given you in two whole weeks!

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So, what do you think about the footie, eh?

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CHEERING AND SCREAMING

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Have you had a nightmare with that there nature?

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Ahhh! Look at the size of those teeth. They are terrifying!

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And what on earth is she talking about?

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Rules must be followed if high standards are to be achieved.

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As always, we're here to throw you up another fine week on CBBC.

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But I have no idea what's happening.

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Luckily our resident video bloggers, Lauren and Myles are in charge.

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It's our show and we can say what we like.

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All right, tiger, calm down!

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In the red corner, it's our first blogger, Myles!

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Another football World Cup is here.

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Just like there was four years ago.

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And then four years before that.

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And then... There's just been a lot of World Cups, maybe too many.

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And because of that, Match Of The Day Kickabout's

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been doing some special programmes from Brazil,

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looking at what's been going on at the World Cup.

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Football - that's what's been going on at the World Cup.

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The beautiful game, back of the net.

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I don't know if you can tell,

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but I never really used to play football at school.

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The only thing that I could contribute

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to playground football matches was my jumper.

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"Myles is here, we've got a goal post."

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And then when I lost my jumper, that was a bad day.

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In England, football lovers put themselves through

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the same thing every year.

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And on Match Of The Day Kickabout we have got to see the England game

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through the eyes of two families.

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-The football is on!

-If England lose another match, they are out.

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There's the hope...

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-Come on!

-Goal!

-What a save!

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There's the highs...

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CHEERING AND SCREAMING

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And of course, there's the lows.

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-Oh, he lost it again.

-Come on.

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So we're watching people reacting to watching the football.

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What they need now is people reacting to the people

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reacting to the people watching the football.

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"Oh, he's excited about the football."

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"Oh, he's sad about all the football."

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In Match Of The Day Kickabout, there's a segment where you have

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to kick a ball in the bin.

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Once the ball is in the air, we flick the ball from one side to the

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other, so we go inside of the foot to the outside.

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So this should be done in one fluid motion.

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Once you've mastered that, you've just done the Elastica.

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So I thought I'd try and give it a go.

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So I didn't get the ball in the bin, but still better than England.

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-GROANING

-All right, sorry!

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CHEERING

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You know what makes me livid? Yeah? Why am I not in Brazil?!

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I can talk about football! I can dribble, usually when I'm sleeping.

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Anyhow, what's been making YOU livid this week?

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What makes me livid about CBBC?

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Is when I am happily eating my breakfast

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and then Deadly 60 comes on or Deadly Pole To Pole

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and I'm like, "Ugh, bugs!"

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So if I put my fingers anywhere near that one, I get bitten.

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Well, Hacker goes on about meat paste just a bit too much.

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And Dodger's binges puts me right off my tea.

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Who needs meat paste when you can have caviar, eh?

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Toot, toot, sniff!

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What makes me livid is when Hacker goes on and on and on about me

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and my dry hair.

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Yeah, you've ruined this with your dry hair and your ill fitting top!

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Hacker, leave it!

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Hey, Wilco, who let you in?

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Anyway, enough of this lividness, for we must venture

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forth behind-the-scenes of CBBC's comedy drama, Hank Zipzer.

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Hank Zipzer is about a little boy.

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He is about 12. He is dyslexic.

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Hank is a pretty crazy character, actually.

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He's always getting into mischief or trouble,

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so you never know what he's going to do next.

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Hank makes quite a lot of schemes and plans, not because he

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disobeys what people tell me to do, he just thinks in a different way.

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I think Mr Rock really gives him hope

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because he always gets normally good grades in music.

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Welcome to the team.

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Obviously, there's Miss Adolf and she's really mean to him

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-all the time. And she thinks his work is all rubbish.

-B+.

-Yes!

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I got a B+. A B+!

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And one mark off for not writing your full name

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and date in the upper right-hand corner.

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I think she's a marvellous character.

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Rules must be followed if high standards are to be achieved.

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She believes in teaching and she doesn't believe in bad behaviour.

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Henry Zipzer!

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Hank gets along well with his mum,

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pretty much all the time, except when he's in trouble.

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Henry, you get out here right now.

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But his dad is was pressurising him.

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You can do it, Hank!

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And making him do very, very well.

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Sport is all about the winning.

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Hank has quite a close relationship with his family.

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Apart from his sister, Emily.

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Zipzer, Emily Zipzer.

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-Oh, you must be related to Hank.

-No.

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I don't have a brother.

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Emily is sort of one of those kids that thinks she knows everything

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and she does know quite a lot,

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but the one thing she doesn't know a lot about is dyslexia.

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So she just thinks Hank's lazy and stupid.

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Just turn it to medium heat. It's easy!

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Even Catherine could do it.

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Dyslexia affects Hank's life quite monumentally.

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Niagara Falls is on the bore...

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Even though he does have a disability with reading and writing,

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he just tries his best in school.

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Border, sorry.

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He never gets any good grades and that probably always puts him down.

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But Hank's glass is always half-full instead of half empty

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cos he's always picking himself up again.

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On the border between America and Canada,

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"Boredom" wouldn't have made any sense.

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I tell you what, Hank Zipzer looks like one amazing show.

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-Is there anything I forgot there, Mr Rock?

-Action!

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Watch Hank Zipzer only on CBBC.

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Naomi's Nightmares Of Nature is back.

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So what I like to do when I'm watching this show is

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settle down to a nice tasty breakfast.

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Male hippos mark their territory by flicking their tail from side

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to side, propelling their poo as far and wide as they possibly can.

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Hmm... Probably just leave that.

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No worries, no worries at all.

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What about, a nice bit of jam?

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He's drawn blood! Oh, no!

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Oh. Mm-hm. No.

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It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. It's fine.

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What I'll do instead is eat this solitary hard-boiled egg.

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It's just an egg, nothing wrong with that, probably.

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It's the night they lay their eggs.

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Oh, come on! Why do they show this at breakfast time?

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Right, that's all disgusting.

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What this show needs is some nice cute, teeny-weeny baby animals.

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When turtle hatchlings emerge, they are tiny and vulnerable.

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Aw, they are so tiny and vulnerable!

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Determined to make it to the sea...

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They'll make it - it's not that far!

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..they embark on their gruelling journey.

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But it is now that the beaches become a battleground.

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-Hold up!

-These predators have been waiting for this very moment.

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Run! Run, guys!

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Run with your little flippers across the difficult terrain! Go!

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I can't handle this. Can we edit in some happy music, make this OK?

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# Don't stop me

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# Cos I'm having a good time, having a good time

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# I'm a shooting star leaping through the skies

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# Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity... #

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So, guys, I've been wanting a pet for a very long time now,

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and I couldn't decide, do I want a dog? Do I want a cat?

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But after watching Naomi's Nightmare of Nature...

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That is absolutely incredible!

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That's right! I've only gone and got myself a pet crocodile!

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Say hello to Simon, everybody.

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Oh, no, there's no need to be scared, he's got a lovely temperament.

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They just lay motionless.

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Yep, quite peaceful.

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You can barely see him breathing.

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He is totally house trained.

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Then, in the blink of an eye, they can whip into action.

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No! No!

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Aaargh!

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SHE GRUNTS Now, stay down!

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Oh, sorry! Where was I?

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CBBC has a lot of shows,

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and recently I've noticed they've been given some pretty silly titles.

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The Worst Year Of My Life Again.

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Not very catchy.

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I'm just worried you friends are going to be confused

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when you tell them how much you love it.

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"I love the Worst Year Of My Life."

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"Are you OK? What happened?

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"You loved the worst year of your life."

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"No, not my life."

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"Well, whose worst life? Whose year...?"

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Also, if you put "again" in the title, it gets confusing

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if you want to re-watch it.

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"I'm just going to go watch

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"Worst Year Of My Life Again...again."

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And again. And again and again. And again and again.

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And... The Dog Ate My Homework.

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I'm seeing that and thinking it's just going to be

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an hour of a dog sitting there eating people's homework.

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A bit a maths? Oh, the science is a bit more chewy.

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But when I get there, there's no dogs eating anything.

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Zero dogs eating anything. They're just asking questions.

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It's just like a quiz.

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Blue Peter's a good one though, probably wouldn't have

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been on TV for 50 years if it was called Green...Steven.

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"What are we going to call this show."

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"I'm wearing blue and I'm called Peter."

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"Brilliant. Lets go to lunch."

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There should be more shows like Arthur - it's short, it's catchy.

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"What's it about?"

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"Arthur." "What else?"

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"Arthur." It's all Arthur. In the title - Arthur.

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I know there'll be Arthur. I expect Arthur, always Arthur.

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I always wonder why they need help on Help! My School Trip is Magic.

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Who are the saying help to, and why do they need help?

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Help, he's doing magic tricks.

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Yeah, he is! It's all magic - it's amazing.

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It's not like it's Help! A Lion's Escaped From A Zoo On A School Trip.

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If that was the case, "help" would be the right word.

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Don't even get me started on Whoops I Missed The Bus,

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what does that even mean? Every week, we miss the bus.

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Somebody just needs to look at the bus timetable before we go

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wear a watch and then we won't keep missing it.

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I blame Lauren, if I'm honest.

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BELL RINGS

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OK, did you know that sheep love CBBC?

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What, "ew" don't believe me?! Ha-ha-ha! Well, watch this.

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What you thinking, pet?

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Ooh, it's Strange Hill High!

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But by the by, back to my licking.

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Oi, Stefan Gates! Think you can cook, son?

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You ain't seen nothing - wait till you see my shepherd's pie.

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SLURPING

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While you're there, get us a yoghurt - a peach one.

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I said, "A peach one!"

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Tracy Beaker's one of my favourite shows.

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I said, "A peach..."

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Make sure it's peach.

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Lovely beach towel this, isn't it, Barry?

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Lovely texture to it.

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What we watching here?

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Just some CBBC. Ooh!

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Does your pet want to be a star?

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Well, head to the CBBC website and search "pet"

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to make their dreams come true.

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OK, it's CBBC's best bits time.

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Get ready for this week's star players.

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What do you mean I'm not in it?! I'm not in this one?

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Oh, now, I'm livid again!

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There you go, that's snappers, what you're doing.

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I'm snapping.

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Believe it or not, it's harder than it looks.

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I got...long arms! Woo, look at me long limes, ooh, look at em.

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Hang on!

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Peer into my arms.

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No, come on, son, put your dukes up, buster, we've got beef.

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# All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah,

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# Is somebody to you

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# All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah,

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# Is somebody to you... #

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If he wants to have a sleep, we'll cover him up,

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but to be honest don't do that very often.

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With the help of my handy flipchart, which is secreted west of the stage,

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I shall now reveal the World Cup winners.

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I'll do it now...

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Football's a match, the flipchart fell off.

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There you go. I've go long arms - look at my arms.

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The length of my arms is uncanny.

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-ROARING

-Ow!

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I don't think we're the only ones on this island!

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Where's Matthews when you need someone to panic?

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By the sea! By the sea! By the beautiful sea!

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ROARING

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Emily says, "I think, instead of ball boys,

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"there should be multiple...a load of me running about."

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I've enough problems dealing with one massive yonk-sack,

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I don't want young pips milling about.

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Who's that then? This massive yonk-sack?

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Charming.

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This is how we did it in police training,

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and this is how were going to do it today.

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And you are going to wish you had never been born!

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Chris, what time does Andy Murray go to bed?

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-I don't know, what time?

-Ten o'clock.

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-Ruined that.

-Tennis. Ten-ish.

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Tennis. Oh...

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# It isn't filled

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# Oh, with the gladness

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# Of love

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# For one another

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# Yeah... #

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I'm not the girl you want to be messing with.

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Well, I ain't the kind of girl you want to be messing with either!

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I mean man. I'm not... I'm not... I'm not a man. I am a man!

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So, that's it for Whoops I Missed The Bus.

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We'll be back next Saturday to restock your televisual larder.

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But if you want more from the world of CBBC,

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then check out the iPlayer reet noo!

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Now, where's that bus?

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Oh, not again!

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