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Fire up the engines,
shift that brain into gear and hold on tight, cockers.
This is Whoops I Missed The Bus.
And we ain't waiting for no-one!
We've got a bit of this...
-You are awesome!
There's some of him...
These shoes are too tight, look.
And this terrible twosome, too...
SHE IMITATES A GUITAR
Now, what would you get if you stuck a pair of vloggers
in front of CBBC for a whole week?
Two red-eyed superfans, of course.
It's Laura and Myles.
I'm not just a one-trick pony, you know, I can do lots of things.
Not off the top of my head. I'll have to think,
but, you know, let's crack on first and then we'll come back to me.
Now, last week, CBBC hosted Safer Internet Day,
and you won't feel any safer than in the hands
of our vivacious vlogger, Laura.
Last Tuesday was Safer Internet Day,
so it was a good excuse to sit down
and re-watch the first series of Dixi,
a mystery series all about a girl called Shari
who vlogs her whole life. "Vlogging," I hear you say,
"sounds like my kind of show."
Hey, it's Shari, and if you're one of my Dixi friends,
you know that I like vlogging about my life and what I'm doing.
Dixi's got tons of mystery, drama,
friendships and synchronised-dance moves.
# No-one should face their fears alone... #
Hmm, dancing - reminds me of someone.
# No question, my besties and me
# About as close as we can be
# We tell each other everything
-# And I mean everything. #
My favourite part of the show
is the serious investigative work that Shari does
to find who hacked her Dixi account.
There are 12 computers in our school computer room.
Computer number six has a sticky L key.
You get, like, a million Ls a word every time you try to type.
It's so annoying.
-And even The Vamps got involved.
We know what it feels like to be picked on,
so we wanted to send you this video
to let you know that bullying is not OK,
whether it's online, in real life or wherever.
I got hacked once. Well, kind of.
I left my video camera out and came back to find this.
A big chair.
Now I'm sitting on it.
Don't leave your camera lying around,
otherwise anything could happen.
Any silly things could happen.
Anyway, Shari's friend Mimi
has some pretty cool martial-arts moves.
Hah! Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
Hmm, martial-arts moves - reminds me of someone.
Huh! Hah! Hah! Hah!
Hah! Hah! Huh! Huh!
Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah!
And Isla is a really talented singer. Maybe we could team up
and become some type of singing/vlogging band.
# Here I go again
# I think I lost my pen
# On my door it says Hello, Billy. #
Hmm, singing - reminds me of someone.
SHE SINGS A SCALE
# Ooh, yeah! #
On to a more serious note.
Someone horrible hacks into Shari's Dixi page and cyberbullies her.
Shari's online world really starts to affect her real life.
This isn't just Dixi now.
This hacker must really hate me and I don't even know who they are.
I'm not sure I can carry on with this any more!
As a vlogger, I know how important it is to stay safe on the internet
and to keep personal information private.
Hacking and cyberbullying is scary stuff
and should definitely be taken seriously.
If you feel uncomfortable with something that's happening online,
tell someone and get help. Wow! That got really serious, didn't it?
Back to comedy. Or at least some martial-arts moves. Wah! Wah! Wah!
Wah! Hah! Hah! Hah!
At the end of the series, the mystery is solved
and we find out who the mysterious hacker is.
You're going to have to watch it on the CBBC iPlayer.
Plus, a brand-new Dixi starts next week on the CBBC website.
She never lets us down, that one, does she?
But now for something a little different. It's our smaller,
shorter variety of vloggers, our 15-second fans, by jing.
My favourite show is Got What It Takes?
Cos I love listening to all the songs,
and the mums' challenges are really funny.
-And it's epic!
Hi, I'm Leah and I love CBBC.
I love Whoops I Missed The Bus because of all the 15-second fans.
I love all the jokes in the vlogs
-and I love everything they vlog about.
I like Absolute Genius because Dick and Dom are really funny
and I like games and technology.
I like the fact that they go all over Europe
and some other parts of the world
and show pictures of the people that have made the technology.
We all love The Next Step. Like, who wouldn't?
And it's inspired Frey here to do a trick like this and many more.
We all think the characters of The Next Step totally rock.
-We all think the cast of The Next Step,
you are awesome!
Cracking job, my friends. Excellent work.
And you too could be a 15-second fan.
It's as easy as A, B, C.
Record a clip of yourself vlogging about your favourite CBBC show
and head to the Whoops web page to upload it.
It could be your face on this telly next week.
Now, here to give us some handy tips about staying safe online,
Not an actual hacker, that'd be a bit weird, it's Hacker T Dog!
Now, Hacks, if you're online
and you experience something that makes you feel uncomfortable,
-make sure you tell an adult.
-Karim, I feel uncomfortable!
These shoes are too tight, look.
Hacks, that's not an online problem.
There's also a website that makes me feel uncomfortable.
Well, don't worry, because some online websites
have an alert button or e-mail address where you can let them know
if you feel upset about something or someone.
And remember, guys, you can always log off and leave the website.
-Now, Hacks, which website is it?
OK, let's check today's to-do list.
I've taken a selfie, a shelfie, a wealthy and a healthy.
I've messaged my followers, my wallowers, my players, my naysayers.
And I've used an emoji, a sloji and a woji. So, everything's done.
Time for breakfast.
-Ah, what's this?
Katie's left her tablet unlocked.
-That's not very secure at all, is it, Hacks.
Eh, let's message Lauren and pretend to be Katie.
We could send here a picture of my face.
My naughty, naughty face area.
People talk a lot about junk mail, don't they, cocker?
What's the big deal?
Well, you might open up an e-mail that contains unpleasant things,
or your computer could get a virus.
But if you do open up a junk e-mail,
-make sure you tell an adult right away.
But now that I've not listened to any of your advice,
I'm going to open this junk e-mail
and open a weird file attached to it.
BLEEPING Hacker, what did I tell you?!
'A virus has been detected
'due to someone stupidly opening a junk e-mail!'
Hacker, never meet up with anyone who you've only met on online.
-Well, Hacks, people aren't always who they say they are.
You remember that time I messaged Shannon 305
and asked her to come round for a smoothie?
Shannon! Where is she?!
Hi, Karim, I'm here!
A harsh lesson for us all, Karim.
-A harsh lesson for us all.
-A harsh lesson for us all.
Pocket Money Pitch sees a group of contestants
trying to think of business ideas that they can pitch
in order to win a year's worth of pocket money.
But if you can't think of an idea right now,
just wait a year and you'll win the exact same prize,
a year's worth of pocket money. It'll be there, just a year late.
Imagine, a year's worth of pocket money up for grabs,
just waiting for kids like you from across the UK
to come up with a winning business pitch.
-I live in Newcastle.
-I'm from Manchester.
Could you spot a gap in the market?
There we go, there's the gap in the...
I'm trying my best. Do you have any business ideas, Myles? No, I just...
I just want to talk to someone. So you have no ideas?
I mean, I have the idea that I'm not going to win any money.
Myles, we've actually got an idea for you. OK. Go home.
Gap in the market. Just some jokes I have.
Are you the next Branson, Sugar or Dyson?
I hope I'm not the next anyone.
I don't want to wake up thinking, "I must be Myles again,"
and then look in the mirror.
"I'm not... Is this Alan Sugar off the TV show The Apprentice?
"Why has this happened?" It's a scary thing. He does...
He's got a lot of money, though, pocket money, though, hasn't he?
So, it might be all right.
We have searched the whole of the UK
-to find the best young business talent.
I mean, I haven't been on Pocket Money Pitch yet, but just wait,
just wait, because I have an idea that will blow your mind.
What is my idea? I'm not going pitch it now, wait for the...
for the full Pocket Money Pitch.
And then we will watch the pitch for my idea.
You'll be like, "That's Myles's pitch."
What I like about the show is that you can pitch your idea,
but you can give someone a call to help you out.
Oh, Kirby has paused the pitch and locked in Levi.
You can only press the pause button once to lock the guru in,
which is probably good, cos if I was on it,
"OK, Myles, you've pressed the buzzer,
"what would you like help with?"
"You've already pressed the buzzer.
"We're going to give you help now." BEEP!
"Can I have more help?" "You can't have more help." BEEP!
"The guru is locked in..." BEEP! BEEP!
"The guru is definitely locked in..."
"The guru is not going to get out." That'd be my first question, really.
Turns out I didn't even have an idea, just, you know,
how do I get an idea?
Our school was a bit weird this week, wasn't it?
Yeah, like when the maths teacher nearly set the place on fire.
Oh, I was looking forward to that mackerel.
And that food tech teacher who keeps, you know...
PHHRRT! PHHRRT! PHHRRT!
How is this allowed in school?
And why is there a game show going on in the classroom?
Miss the cuboid and you lose everything.
Have you got what it takes to beat the cuboid?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe.
What are these poor kids supposed to be learning?
I'm properly angry about our school this week, CBBC. Properly angry.
Welcome to Class Dismissed.
Yep, Class Dismissed is set in a fictional school, and it's
safe to say, I don't remember my English teacher being like theirs.
My teacher was more like, "Do this, do this, sit there,
"don't do that, raise your hand, silence!"
Mr Cap did teach me something, though.
What have I told you about calling me Mr Cap?
Sorry, the Capmeister.
What did he teach you?
HE MIMICS GUITAR-PLAYING
SHE MIMICS GUITAR-PLAYING
You know what my favourite part was?
Wait, the bit where...
The bit where the teacher...he said...
Write these percentages as fractions in simplest form.
Oh! That bit's not from Class Dismissed, then.
Loving all the CBBC-ing this week!
And those porcine pets of ours have been all over CBBC this week
too, like jam on toast or pineapple on a pizza.
It's time for What Are You Thinking, Pet?
Oh, I love a bit of TV time.
But if someone could move me a bit closer, that'd be lovely.
My eyesight's shocking these days. It's all a blur!
Is this EastEnders? Is that Phil Mitchell and Kat Moon?
It's young Myles.
He's making a joke about trumping.
It's wildly funny.
Yes, it's wild and weird! I love it! Love it, love it!
Now, where's Naomi? There she is.
I'm so close I can almost smell her!
She's amazing. I want to be her friend.
Hold on a minute! Where's she gone?
Bring her back! I don't want to watch some old bird faffing about!
Bring Naomi back!
I do like The Next Step, but I do wish Eldon would make his mind up.
He's like a frog, jumping from one lily pad to t'other.
But one minute he's with Emily, the next minute he's with Michelle!
In fact, I can't watch it. I refuse!
Until you've sorted yourself out Eldon, I wash my hands of you.
If your animal friend has got something to say, then just
record them watching CBBC and send it in via the Whoops webpage.
We'll tell you what's going on in their furry little minds.
What Are You Thinking, Pet?
Now, think you've missed the best of the best of this week's CBBC?
Don't fret and fear ye not!
We've got the very best bits for you right here, right now!
It's time to feel what it must be like for a peregrine falcon
to hurtle towards the ground after its prey.
Oh, my gosh!
I didn't mean to do it that hard.
# Whoa sweet child of mine... #
Yeah, come on, Dodge, yeah!
# ..Whoa-oh sweet child of mine... #
Whoo! Yeah, Dodge, come on!
-Stop! Stop it! Stop that!
Stop... You, camera man, stop. Turn the lights on. Turn the lights on!
No, no. I'm drawing the line at that, sorry.
I've dressed up as loads of things on Blue Peter before,
but I'm not dressing up as a woman. Read my lips - no wa...
# I'm not a girl
# Not yet a woman
# All I need is time
# A moment that is... #
We're not talking about this ever again.
Well, that's a wrap, folks.
Don't forget - you can catch up with everything on the CBBC iPlayer.
So until next time, bon voyage, darlings!
Oh, I've missed it again. There must be some sort of record for this!