Episode 39 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard this service to Planet CBBC.

Make sure you're sitting comfortably,

and prepare for the ride of your life!

It's Whoops I Missed The Bus.

We've got a serving of this...

Oh! I can practically smell Hacker's dirty meat-paste breath from here.

..there's a sprinkling of that...

# What a feeling

# Being's believing... #

..and what the heckon is this?

Mwraak! Mwraak! Mwraak!

In order to make your journey as entertaining as possible,

our long-serving blogging duo are on hand every step of the way.

It's Laura and Myles.

Where are we going? I'm not moving. No, thank you. So cosy.

You guys go, I'll catch up.

I'm going to got to sleep, I'll catch up.

In the driving seat, it's our most experienced lady of all, Laura!

Prepare to take off, sister.

Rattus Rattus is back, so you know what that means.

# If you're easily scared and you don't laugh at poo

# You'd better turn off This show ain't for you... #

# Still watching? Then let's test your brain

# With Horrible Histories: Gory Games! #

I need these to cope with Dave Lamb's shirt.

It looks like he's wrapped himself in an old curtain from 1985.

On this show, you get to test your knowledge of Horrible Histories

with quirky quiz question and gloriously gory games.

Horrible Histories: Gory Games was on CBBC last week,

and I decided to record me playing along. As you do.

If an angry pirate was coming to get you, what might he send you?

Was it a piece of paper with...?

Red diamond! No, black spot!

No, square!

It's weird, cos nowadays we'd just send a text, wouldn't we?

Or a sad face emoji.

C! He'd send you the black spot.

If you say so! All right, next question.

True or false? The phrase "pot luck"

comes from Middle Ages pottery.

That's definitely true.

-It's false!

-No! Why?!

It's not my fault, OK?

I've been distracted this whole time by that vault.

What's exactly in there?

Ooh, could it be a slide to a swimming pool?

Or maybe a door to a new quiz show?

Or maybe a teleportation machine!

It's off down the sewer with the lot of you.

Or the sewers.

Yeah, I think I'd prefer the teleportation machine.

Hold up! I didn't think this through.

I don't have an obstacle course. Um... Er...

It's not quite the same, is it?

Rick, meanwhile, is going about his business quietly.

He's got the first key there.

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.

'I mean, if they weren't messy before,

'they're certainly messy now.'

Horrible Histories: Gory Games.

Fun, but messy.

Do not try at home unless you want to be grounded for a billion years.

< Laura!

She could talk for England, that one.

So can this next lot. It's our future generation of vloggers -

our 15-Second Fans, by jing!

Hi, CBBC.

My favourite show is Class Dismissed

cos it's really, really funny.

And my favourite teacher is Mr Nasal cos he's...

Cos he always sneezes on somebody and gets snot everywhere

-and it's really, really, REALLY funny.

-Brilliant. Another!

Hello. I'm Aidan, and I like watching The Next Step,

because I like dancing,

and sometimes when I watch an episode loads of times,

-I dance to it.

-Well done!

My favourite show on CBBC is "Got What It Takes?"

cos it's really funny and I love singing.

Also it shows lots of different challenges

and it's really funny when the mums do challenges,

especially...

Musical Bears!

Full marks, team! Well done!

If you want to earn your stripes as a 15-Second Fan,

just record a clip of yourself

banging on about your favourite CBBC show

and head to the Whoops web page to upload it.

Now, ever wondered what it would be like to have a teacher

so showbiz he could dance his way to the top at CBBC itself?

Well, wonder no more, because Class Dismissed's Mr Christopher

is doing just that.

Hi! I'm Mr Christopher.

You may recognise me from this year's X Factor, The Voice,

and if not from there,

then definitely from CBBC's new hit documentary series, Class Dismissed.

No-one panic!

But the assembly for the VIP is this afternoon,

and if you lot do then what you did just now,

I will literally DIE.

Today, I've come to the BBC!

Home of amazing TV shows

like The Voice, and other shows too.

And I'm here to meet the big boss who's in charge of CBBC.

Come with me!

No, don't... Don't come with me with the camera.

I mean, we're going to cut to me and I'll appear...

Just turn it off. Turn it...!

I'm here to meet up with the big boss of CBBC.

Have you got an appointment?

Yeah, course.

If you haven't got an appointment, I can't let you through, I'm afraid.

Oh, I get it. You can't "let me through" to the next round

without making sure I've got what it takes. Don't worry!

I've got what it takes...and more.

Five, six, eight!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

So, can I have that meeting now?

No.

'Just when it looked like meeting CBBC's big boss seemed hopeless,

'my super-creative brain came up with a plan!'

If the big boss won't come to the party,

then the party will just have to come to the big boss!

And by party, I mean my awesome talent.

That's right - flash mob!

# What a feeling

# Being's believing

# I can have it all

# Now I'm dancing for my life

# What a feeling... #

So it's definitely more flash than mob,

as no mob actually turned up.

But what an amazing day it's been!

I got to perform for the big boss of CBBC,

and most importantly, I made another amazing video for you,

my internet channel viewers!

I guess all that's left for me to do now is go back to Dockbridge High

and wait for the TV offers to just roll in.

And don't forget to catch

the brand-new series of Class Dismissed only on CBBC.

Or you can just watch the bits of me - they're the best bits.

OK, bye!

# What a feeling... #

I do love a bit of Art Ninja.

It's creative, it's arty,

and I love the Art Ninja's energy.

Hey, Gav. Fancy doing something rad and intense?

That is exactly what it's like to be friends with me.

"Myles is calling me again? I bet he wants to do something

"rad and intense." Laura, do you want to do something rad?

-No.

-Or intense?

-No.

Cool. I'll see you soon.

It definitely makes you want to do more things, watching Art Ninja.

For example, he's drawing and cutting out his own butterflies,

but he hasn't got enough.

My five butterflies.

But I'm going to need a lot more of these to make my picture,

so I'm going to use some ninja skills.

Hi-ya!

That should do it.

I've got one banana.

If I just throw that up, I'm not going to get more...

"I'm finally a ninja, Mum!"

Genuinely, where, what, how...? How did that happen?

I like how the Art Ninja uses simple things.

I'm an art critic now. This is what I like.

I like how the Art Ninja uses simple things to create art.

For example, he makes flower patterns

just by combining water with colourful tissue paper.

I don't know why I did that with the hand, just makes it arty.

Looked simple enough, I thought I'd give it a go.

Oh, no!

I started drawing a flower!

That's... Get rid of that.

How does the Art Ninja deal with this?

We are going to be doing art inspired by all this.

All this?

No! All this!

But we haven't got any paint or pens or paper or a canvas.

No.

We are going to be...branching out.

I do like the Art Ninja,

but sometimes I don't feel like he's thought it through.

I picked up a leaf - nature - in preparation for this task,

and there's no way I'm turning this into a piece of art.

How...? Hello.

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever done, bringing me to tears.

I'm a ninja now. Art Ninja has made me a ninja.

I don't think I want to be a ninja any more.

Where did that go? Why didn't that fall down?

Hello?!

PHONE RINGS

-Grace? It's Laura.

-I know.

I have your number in my phone already.

-Have you heard about Pocket Money Pitch?

-Pocket money?

Do you need to borrow a pound for sandwiches again, Laura?

No! Pocket Money Pitch!

You can win a year's supply of pocket money.

That's...8,000 sandwiches!

I'll see you in ten.

Right, come on. What are those?

The ideas for my pitch, obviously.

Oh! I scribbled mine on the back of a train ticket.

Good to see we're both prepared, though, eh?

Is this Pocket Money Pitch?

Not without a backstage pass. Sorry.

It's fine. I've got this covered.

Chocolate in exchange for entry, what do you say?

Yeah, go on, then.

-Did you really just give him a half-eaten chocolate bar?

-Ssh!

-So cool.

-It's massive.

-Looks like a Little Mix music video.

-It does, right?

MUSIC: Black Magic by Little Mix

Grace and Laura, welcome to the Vault!

Grace, kick us off with yours.

Hello. So I've come up with the ultimate family experience.

We all like petting animals. But what you guys don't know

is that you actually like being petted by animals yourselves.

That's right.

I've come up with a two-way petting zoo.

OK, I can see your faces. You're sitting here a little bit confused.

So I thought I'd do a demonstration for you.

You're stroking the little bunnies.

You're seeing the horses around you.

And then they start petting you too!

And there's bunnies, and there's animals all around you,

-and you just...

-Grace, is that your pitch?

-Yes.

Laura, it's your turn.

At the moment, only 1% of the UK

claim that they can understand their pets.

Your cat miaows, and you think, "Oh, my cat might be hungry!"

You might be wrong. But with my series of unique podcasts

teaching people how to speak animal,

this mistake will never happen again. A frog...

FROG CROAKS

He's actually saying, "Your moustache is really annoying me."

-A monkey...

-MONKEY HOWLS

This monkey is actually saying, "I want some cheese."

We cover hippos...

Mwraak! Mwraak! Mwraak!

We also cover sheep...

Baa! Baa! Baa!

That actually means, "How are you?"

Get them off. Get them off.

You've had enough. Come on. Out.

-Get out, come on.

-I hadn't got to the giraffe yet!

-No, no.

Well, that was fun, and at least I've got just enough pocket money

-for us to get a sandwich.

-I loved your idea, by the way.

How do you say "sandwich" in Sheep?

Baa-aa!

It's got to go high at the end.

-Baa-aa!

-Baa-aa!

-Baa-aa!

You are so last year, girls.

We don't need no podcast.

We know what your pets have been thinking for ages now. It's...

Now, I know what you're thinking, yes.

How can she possibly enjoy The Dumping Ground with her back to it?

Well, I can, OK? I've got eyes in the back of my head, don't you know?

And this is the best way to watch it.

In fact, Jody and Tyler are my favourite characters. So there!

You know what's worse than dogs? Singing dogs!

This Hacker drives me mad with his tuneless wail.

I mean, where's all the cats on CBBC?

It's speciesist!

Oh, I do enjoy Cinemaniacs.

I was born for the silver screen, darling.

Wait, what's that? You want to come and snuggle in here with me?

Eww, I'd rather not, no.

No, I'm just going to lay out

and have this pink footstool all to myself.

Bore off.

Ah, the perfect spot for CBBC viewing!

It feels as though I'm actually in the TV.

I can practically smell Hacker's dirty meat-paste breath from here.

Oh, get him away from me!

I do feel a little bit sick.

Well done, pets of the UK!

Don't forget, if your furry chum is craving the limelight

and desperate for screen time, then just record them watching CBBC

and send it in via the Whoops web page.

What you thinking, pet?

Now, there are 84 hours of CBBC goodness each week,

but which bits are best, I hear you say?

Well, we've got them right here for you, cockers,

and, boy, are they good!

Right before I go on stage,

I don't really think about my corrections, I just think...

to have fun and enjoy this moment,

because not many people can.

And then I walk on stage and it just all gets blanked out.

MUSIC PLAYS

-Are there any colours in this picture?

-No.

In order for it to work, you have to keep looking at that dot.

You can play at home too! Are you ready?

Just remember, keep your eyes

fixed on the dot in the middle of the picture.

And don't move your eyes when the picture changes.

Keep focused on that dot.

Keep looking!

Ready for the change? Don't move your eyes.

Do you see this photo in colour?

Now move your eyes.

Do you see it's actually in black and white?

A small animal that swims in rivers and stinks.

-An otter!

-Yes.

A spiky and nocturnal animal that curls up in a ball.

-Hedgehog!

-Wow!

-I can't believe it!

-Black and white...

HOOTER

-Oh!

-Seven! You got seven!

Wow, you're at the top of the leaderboard - well done!

We got seven - how do you feel?

-Absolutely chuffed!

-Oh!

-Yeah!

We're on the final approach now, folks,

and I'm afraid our journey has come to an end.

Don't forget, you can catch up on anything you've missed

on the CBBC iPlayer. Right, what time's that bus due?

Ah, there she goes. Stranded in the wilderness once again.