Episode 40 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

Is that the rumble of an engine? The ring-ding of a bell?

The sound of CBBC coming right this way? It can mean only one thing.

It's Whoops I Missed The Bus, of course!

This is the weirdest thing on telly.

These two are on one again.

# Is it destiny, I don't know... #

And what's happened here?

What I told you about your striped pyjama bottoms?!

Back with a bang and calling the shots is everyone's favourite

pair of vloggers, Laura and Myles!

"Dear CBBC, please stop making

"such amazing programmes I can't stop watching.

"I have no life and I think I'm in love with Dodge T Dog."

They say ladies first, but men just before.

So without further ado, it's our Myles.

I like Operation Ouch because I feel like I'm always learning new stuff.

We show you where blood comes from.

Apart from that. I prefer not to think about where my blood

is coming from. It just is. My body just is. Blood magically appears.

I wake up every morning, I've still got blood.

My arms and legs somehow know and they just move. Your eyes blink...

Usually, your eyes blink. Come on, don't get shy! There we go.

They just get on with that. Best not to think about it all, really.

Blood, where's it coming from? Same thing when you're on a plane,

best not to think about how it stays up, it just does.

So, blood, that's one reason why I would never be a doctor and a pilot.

Every year, half a million people

attend the Accident and Emergency Department

because of sporting injuries.

Sporting injuries.

Ah, if I had an injury for every time I played sports

I would have...zero injuries.

I did do a triple jump once - three jumps is too many jumps.

I won't go into too much detail about the injury,

but on the second jump, I noticed my shoelace was undone.

First jump was lovely, that was,

"Oh, he's jumped, he's done a lovely first jump.

"If he does two more jumps, this'll be a lovely triple jump.

"Three jumps up there, lovely."

Second jump was sort of just, "Oh, I'm on the floor."

Third jump... "I'm asleep on the floor, I'm just laying now."

Dr Chris tries to help lots of people out on Operation Ouch

by trying to give people answers to their medical mysteries.

What's the diagnosis, doc?

Right, this sounds like a classic case of...

Easy for you to say!

Just from that, it seems maybe being a doctor isn't that hard,

if it's just making up long sentences.

"I've got a bruise on my arm, Doctor." "Ah, that's..."

"OK. I mean, you're not helping me out, Dr Chris.

"You're just saying what I have and where I have it."

"What?! That's just...

"That's too real, Dr Chris!

"The bruise will go, but will the humiliation?"

Yeah, you will probably have that for the rest of your life.

"OK... Good, thank you."

He's always trying to hog the limelight, that one.

But waiting in the wings and eager to steal the show is you lot,

our 15 second fans.

Hi, CBBC. I chose Got What It Takes

because it's an amazing show where really talented singers go on.

I really like it, so, yeah! Cracking. Next!

My favourite show would have to be The Next Step because it has

lots of drama and action

and I wish season four would come up quicker.

And also I like Wolfblood, even though it's on hold

for a new series. But I still quite like it.

I hope Maddy comes back. Brilliant! Another!

I like Blue Peter because I love that they have special guests

and I also really like that they do challenges,

I really enjoy watching it.

Get in! My favourite CBBC show is The CBBC Official Chart Show.

This is my favourite show because they always show the number one hits

of the week and they show you famous people that come in and sing.

Bye!

Excellent vloggage, my friends!

If you want to join our barmy army of 15 second fans,

just film your wonderful self chatting away about all things CBBC

and head to the Whoops web page to upload it.

Now, ever wondered what would happen if we mashed up Eve

and Absolute Genius? No?

Me neither, but we're going to show it to you anyway.

Play the tape, tape man!

Is it, er, on? I don't know.

Hello.

I am Eve.

Hello, Eve. We're THE Dick and Dom, you know.

Dick and Dom, a children's comic double act

consisting of Richard McCourt and Dominic Wood.

So, Eve, you're an advanced example of artificial intelligence.

Tell us about yourself. I am an artificial human. Yes.

I am the world's first fully sentient artificial person,

also known as... Whoa, whoa, slow down, slow down there.

Now, can you tell us a bit about how you were born - I mean, made?

No, no, built, how were you built? I was developed, designed

and created by scientist Mary Douglas...

also known as my mother.

What about emotions? You know, feelings?

Emotions. Yes.

A strong feeling derived from a circumstance, mood or relationship.

While I am programmed to engage with my surroundings,

I do not feel exactly the same way that a real human girl would.

So this isn't annoying, huh?

Annoyed. To feel irritated or agitated. No, I do not feel annoyed.

What about now? No. What about now? Still no.

Will you stop it? Stop it!

Stop, just stop it!

My sensors detect that Dominic is feeling agitated. No, I am not!

Now we've got to know Eve, let's see what she can actually do.

Yes, it's man versus machine. Human versus robot.

Skeleton versus... carbon...nanotubes.

Dick and Dom versus Eve.

Dom, you're going first against Eve. Ready?

764 times 1,055,

divide by three,

plus 22 equals...

268,695.333333333...

3.

Your turn! What is the capital of...Venezuela?

Caracas, founded 1567, population five million.

We'll never win this, she's got the whole internet in her head.

We need to do a different challenge.

Something that we're really good at that she can't do.

Got it. What? Telly presenting. Right, yeah!

See if you can telly present better than us. Ready?

PERFECT DICK AND DOM VOICE: Hi, we are Dick and Dom.

And this is Absolute Genius.

Come on, we're leaving. And you! Wait!

I haven't shown you how I can remove my hand yet.

In what show do you manage to get jet skiing, chainsaw juggling

and popping water balloons with your head?

And it's gone from disaster to catastrophe for Cherry!

And women throwing men around?

Wow, this is tenuous, even for us.

I didn't even know there was a record for that. Hm.

Ha! Maybe I could have a chance at this. Ha!

Hang on a second.

When someone says world records to me, I think of memory games

or how many sticky notes you can put on your face.

Come on, we've all done that.

Ahem. I'll be honest, I wasn't quite expecting something quite this epic.

'This aquabike weighs around 150 kilos.'

Nothing quite beats the intensity of dice ordering with

Mr Cherry, Ray and Steve.

Dice ordering. Is that what you call it?

'He started with number one and he's working his way up to six.

'Fascinating tactics.'

Look at the concentration on everyone's faces.

If you had that much concentration in all situations involving

a dice, board games would be very different.

Yes! Passing Go and collecting ?200.

And just when you thought all this record-breaking was nice

and safe, Space Cowboy proves you wrong.

'And he's off.' Yes!

'Two catches and still two hands attached.'

I don't know how he keeps his balance and does that.

I find just making sure I don't walk into things quite difficult.

I stubbed my toe again.

How do you get into that?

Hey, Dad, am I OK to borrow your unicycle? Awesome. Cool.

Nothing much. I've just got to now find a chainsaw to juggle on it.

See you later.

I'm actually very excited to see what the next episode's

records will be. How dangerous will it get?

What colour will Mr Cherry's leggings be?

And the biggest question of all, can I take part?

Yes?

# My name's Amelia and I can rap

# Rap is so good I deserve a nap

# We're here on Whoops I Missed The Bus

# So you may as well call me...

# ..Russ? #

# The time is now 4 o'clock. #

And what's a better way to start a vlog about a brand-new

4 O'Clock Club than... A lip-sync battle.

# I don't know

# I don't know

# I don't know. #

Oh... MUSIC CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

OK, we can't rap and we can't lip-sync. Shall we move on?

I have a confession to make.

You ate another packet of digestives despite the fact you hate them?

Eugh!

No, my confession is that I watch 4 O'Clock Club

but I watch it at five o'clock on iPlayer. Is that bad?

Not as bad as making a rubbish impression

when you first start school.

What? In the wise words of Amber...

Who we get labelled as today is who we are for the next five years.

Oh, so that's why I was called "Long Pants" at school.

I'm not even going to ask.

According to Isaac, girls are like...

Just roll over wanting their bellies tickled. Who does that?

That doesn't sound right, Amelia. I think he's going on about a d...

Tickle me!

Never mind.

# So it's the end of the episode I thought it was pretty great

# I loved it so much I'm going to tell my mates

# What I've learnt from this that I'm a rapper

# So good that I could be a napper. #

And that's why you're not in the 4 O'Clock Club, Amelia.

That's why.

They chirp on like a pair of gossiping birds, them two.

Which takes me nicely to our next feature - talking animals.

It's time for...

'Right I've just been for my blow-dry

'and I've got a manicure booked in later.

'What's that? You can't give me a lift. But I've paid for it.

'Oh, my days. What am I going to do?

'Pass us the biscuits. I'll stay in and watch The Next Step then.'

'I can't quite move.

'If someone could just tilt the tablet a little more to the left.

'No, not the camera, the tablet.'

'Do you think my breath smells?'

'Sh! I'm trying to watch Naomi's Nightmares Of Nature.'

'Yeah, but does it? I've just eaten a load of lettuce.'

'I don't know. Be quiet. It's really good, this bit.'

'For goodness' sake! You're a nightmare, not me.'

'What have I told you about those striped pyjama bottoms?

'They're so distracting when I'm trying to watch the telly.

'They make my eyes go funny. Can you move out of the way?'

That was purr-fect.

If your pet was born for the bright lights of showbusiness

just record them watching CBBC

and send it in

via the Whoops web page.

What you thinking, pet?

Now, I know what you're thinking. How could we possibly

pick the best bits of this week's CBBC when it's all so good?

We've achieved the impossible and done just that.

Enjoy.

SIREN BLARES

Go, go, go.

Mark, be very careful.

Get yourself under the stairs into that cupboard.

He's in. Nice work. Nice work.

'In Your House is go. Mission number one.'

Surrounding you are many coats. I want you to try on two coats.

He's taking his bag off. He's taking the bag off.

'That's it. Take the bag off slowly, quietly.

'Hurry up because he's right next door.'

HE LAUGHS

Nearly there. One last nudge over the shoulders. Nice.

That's a lovely looking coat.

Aviators, stand by.

'Aviators launch in three, two, one.'

'That's it. The command is given. We're underway. Very simple, this.

'Just lance five balloons. Easier said than done.

'Two in a row.

'My goodness. Let's have a look at that again.

'Onboard camera. Come on, Ruby.

'Starting to lose her cool a little bit. Dad Lloyd's got a job here.

'Nice work.'

I don't like this.

You've got 20 seconds now to pop as many balloons as you can.

The winner who pops the most balloons in 20 seconds wins.

The loser, however, gets a pie in the face and neck,

probably hair as well.

Your time begins now.

Pop those balloons. Pop them.

Yes!

Stop! Whoa! Whoa!

Argh! It's a fix. Oh, come on. Stop. Your time is up.

I can reveal that Karim Zeroual, the actor and presenter,

won that challenge. Thank you. I love you lot.

He won it. You look a lot better than me. Don't!

Ben Shires, a pie in the face.

Do you want to take them off? This is the moment

we've all been waiting for.

This is officially amazing for me. Thank you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Doesn't time fly? So will this bus if I'm not careful.

Anything you've missed is available on the CBBC iPlayer

so there's no excuse. There it is. Good job I've not got my heels on.

Wait up!