Episode 33 WHOOPS I MISSED THE BUS

The bus is back, and ready to blow your hats off

with a jaunty spree through some top-notch TV.

Seatbelts on and we'll be gone because

it's Whoops! I Missed The Bus, baby.

There's impressions...

DEEP VOICE: Riley, don't even worry about it.

..Myles is feeling the magic...

..pouring rats and boiling up a potion.

..and we catch up with this bewitching bunch.

ALL: From this day on you'll live as a frog!

Did you know that the word vlog

stands for "very large orange moggy"?

Wait, what, I'm wrong? Oh, it means "video blog". Nice one!

I wish it did stand for "very large orange moggy".

The furry vlogger with cat-titude. Meow!

But first, with his latest hilarious, entertaining

and insightful opinions, it's Myles, the king of CBBC!

The Worst Witch is only worst by name

as it is actually the BEST witch.

Best witch TV programme.

And as it's a programme with witches, there will be magic,

and the magic happens immediately with toast.

Magical toast.

Uh, it's not.

Normal, people, regular non-magical, uh, toast.

But there we go. There is magic.

You just had to wait a few seconds after the toast,

and then there was magic.

Life isn't just about getting everything you want

immediately...on toast.

Yes, we did it! Woo-hoo!

Witches has got a bit of a bad press.

When I hear "witches", I imagine, "ha-ha-ha", cackly,

sort of, "Ooh.." "Ergh..."

Not sure what that was.

They're young, enjoying life, they just want to learn,

they want to get an education.

They're not about all about pouring rats and boiling up a potion.

That's a stereotype that's got out of hand.

So those are our main witches, Maud and Mildred,

flying on a stick, as is normal for a witch to do.

But not all sticks fly, I've realised.

Because if you have a smaller stick, that is not a broom,

but that could be a wand.

So there's different sticks for different...

I think the length of the stick determines whether

it has the ability of flight or not.

What is a tree? Is a tree like an aeroplane?

If you do try to use a stick to fly,

it won't make you look like a witch or a wizard.

It might make you look a bit silly, which is a risk I'm willing to take.

Cos I think everyone loves the idea of being a witch or a wizard.

You could magic so many things up, just make food appear from thin air.

Why is it always thin air? You can have thick air as well.

Boom! Just have food whenever you want!

Why don't they just make food by magic?

"A witch cannot live by magic alone."

Witch's Code, rule number 93, paragraph six.

I wish I'd never asked.

Magical food has got no nutritional value.

That's how hungry they get in the school -

they're just licking random potions.

That should surely be the first rule of magic school -

don't be dipping and licking from random pots and cauldrons.

However nice that cake is, no nutrients in that.

Please just stop casually eating random potions.

"I'll have a lick of that. "Oh, what's that."

"Mm, a bit of random magical goo."

"I haven't got a clue what that is."

"That's lovely." "Have another lick."

But at the heart of all this magic... Heart is on the other side.

..when Mildred's mum finds out about all of this,

it's a confusing thing to hear,

that your child is, uh...she's a witch.

St Joseph's is just down the road. They've got a big new computer lab.

Yeah, but they haven't got magic. Or Maud.

But how would you get here every day?

There's no buses up the mountain.

That is typical mum logic.

"Mum, I'm literally magic. I don't even think...

"There aren't buses. We have dragons, probably.

"That's a guess, but we probably don't...

"Don't raise your voice, please, in here, about dragons?"

"Right, OK, I'm sorry. Can I just be a witch, please?"

Can still be a witch! The Worst Witch.

Not being mean... I'm not being rude there -

that's just the name of the show.

I award thee a golden broomstick. Well done, old bean.

But now over to some of our smallest, most fantastic

CBBC enthusiasts - it's the 15-second fans.

My favourite show is Art Ninja

because I love using my ninja skills. Hi-yah! Bye.

Great vlogging. I like Blue Peter.

I like Sam And Mark's Big Friday Wind-up.

I like The Dumping Ground and I like So Awkward.

Hi, Cel, I like you as well.

I like Lauren, Karim. I like all of you...

I love Katie. I love all your shows.

I even love The Dengineers, so thank you for listening.

Good job! Today I'm going to be telling you

all about the shows that I like.

Did I mention my name is Jaya?

And also, my favourite show is The Dengineers

cos Lauren is in it, and she's my BEST presenter.

I also like The Next Step

because it has got lots of dancing, dancing!

Excellent work! Hi, Whoops! I Missed The Bus.

My favourite shows are Operation Ouch

and Horrible Histories,

because they're both really educational

and help me with my learning at school.

And they're both really, really fun to watch. Bye!

By Jove, what a fantastic flurry of fans you are.

Why not join in the fun and send in your very own 15-second mini vlog

through the Whoops! webpage

and tell the whole world what you love about CBBC?!

Now, students, prepare your wands

to turn the telly reet up loud,

because, boy, do we have an enchanting treat for you!

Pippity, poppity, play!

Welcome to a magical red carpet here at the Manchester Town Hall

for the premiere of brand-new CBBC series The Worst Witch.

I'm going to be getting all the goss

and I'm going to be chatting to the cast members

and hopefully a few witches, too.

I'm just hoping they don't turn me into a frog.

Frog-a-zam! SHE SCREAMS

# Take a sip on my secret potion

# I'll make you fall in love

# For a spell that can't be broken... #

Well, I'm here with Bella

who plays the star of the show, Mildred Hubble.

How are you doing? I'm good, thanks!

Now, what's the best thing about playing Mildred?

I just think it is great how she is just, she's clumsy,

and it's like I am actually allowed to be clumsy for once,

which is quite good.

Are you clumsy in real-life? I am quite clumsy.

I just had a cheese sandwich and spilt it all down me. Oh!

This is where everyone wants to be cos this is where the catering is,

the very witchy food has been put on today, so let's see what we've got.

We've got garlic eyeballs with blood sauce dip.

Oh, graveyard cakes.

They look pretty nice, actually, don't they?

What is your character, Maud, like?

Maud is like... She's always really good in classes.

She's always really well-behaved and she's always helping Mildred

cos Mildred almost always messes up.

Do you think witches exist in real life? Yeah.

It's the same as oxygen -

you can't see, but you know it is there.

I want to know which one you preferred -

playing the goodie or the baddie?

This probably says more about me than it does about the show.

I found it much easier to be the bad one.

When I'm here with you girls, I just want to know,

is there a really quick spell you can teach me now

that I can take with me for the rest of the day?

Yes.

ALL: In pond, or lake, or swampy bog,

from this day on you'll live as a frog!

LAUGHTER

This is the moment we've been waiting for!

The screening of The Worst Witch is about to begin,

and everybody is making their way in,

so I am going to join them. Come on.

THEY YELL

Uh-oh!

APPLAUSE

What was your favourite bit?

When she flew through the window into the dining room.

That was so good, wasn't it?!

When Miss Cackle's twin put a spell on the soup.

When the characters fly.

When they fly! You love it when they fly.

Well, there you have it,

the exclusive preview screening of The Worst Witch.

I absolutely loved it.

It made me laugh, kept me gripped on the edge of my seat,

Mildred and Maud are absolute friendship goals - it was great.

Right, where is my broomstick?

Pieing people in the face?

Racing around tricycles and singing this at Lauren Layfield?!

# La-la-la, la-la-la Losers!

# La-la-la, la-la-la Losers!

# La-la-la, la-la-la Losers! #

Woo! Couldn't think of a better way to start 2017.

# La-la-la, la-la-la... #

I have to be honest, though, whoopsters

sometimes I really don't understand this show.

HE GROWLS

I mean, literally, I can't understand what you're saying.

HE GROWLS

And Mr Smash isn't the only one who doesn't speak clearly.

"Heter Han"!

Sorry, who?

I think he said "Heter Han".

Can nobody on this show communicate properly?

There's only one sensible solution here - phone a friend.

We've got this question, right?

We're being asked about two brothers who, like,

invented aeroplanes or something.

The Wright brothers. Is correct!

Psh, fancy just being able to phone a famous friend

in your time of need.

The most famous person I have in my phone is Laura

from Whoops I Missed The Bus.

Hey, Laur!

Right, I need some advice from somebody famous to help

Mr Smash with his communication skills. Any ideas?

Wow, I'm flattered that you came to me when you wanted someone famous.

Well, Myles is washing his teddy

and Rhys was pointing at random things, so I...

DISCONNECT TONE Wait, hello? Hello!

Honestly, trying to solve the unsolvable is so exhausting.

Like, give me a break! Somebody!

Question...

'School disco!'

School disco!

Yes! I love this part of the show.

Well, I guess I couldn't fix Mr Smash's communication skills,

but there is one thing I can fix.

I'm sorry, Laura. Friends?

Of course, Tee Cee.

Phew! Works every time.

It's the show that turns ordinary bedrooms into the most epic dens.

You could almost say they engineer dens.

Have I given too much away?

You could almost call them The Dengineers.

It's... It's The Dengineers.

I'm Mark. And I'm Lauren. And this is The Dengineers.

And this time, Joshua wants a DJ-themed den.

CLUB MUSIC PLAYS

If it was me, I'd go for a bit of pink somewhere, maybe a purple

painting on the wall, some colourful lights,

a comfy bed with a red cover and...

Wait, I've just created my room, haven't I?

So, Lauren and Mark, what have you got in store for Josh?

What do you think about lighting?

I'd rather it be something like this.

Perfect. Oh, nice! Like lasers.

Although, make sure it's not those lasers that you see in spy films.

I tried to get that installed in the past

and it made moving around, erm, tricky.

But wait, is designer Olga doing something

that Joshua's mum might not like?

Let's do a hole in the ceiling.

What?! What do you reckon?

By having the podium up there with the hole in the ceiling,

how's that sound? It'd be awesome.

Awesome? Josh, have you forgotten what your mum said?

The worst thing he could do would be putting some big hole in the roof.

Well, let's hope this turns out well, because I can only imagine

my mum's reaction if she came home to see a hole in the roof.

Argh! But as day one comes to an end,

the team aren't quite as far ahead as they'd like.

It's OK, Lauren, I'm behind on this vlog too.

I haven't even covered the new stairs, the decorating,

and a visit to Radio 1. How cool is that?

Do you want to press that button? Go, there.

Yeah? And that'll actually go out on the radio.

So come and put your finger over it now. Press it now.

What, the red one?

'BBC Radio 1.'

Time for the big reveal, then.

Go on, Dengineers, let's see Josh's new den.

What do you reckon, Josh? This is amazing.

This garage has been transformed into an amazing two-floor DJ den

where Joshua can work on his skills and hang out

with his friends and family.

That den is unbelievable!

I'd like to think that one day I can have a den like that,

but you know what that means?

No, not painting, building and making holes in my ceiling,

all without my mum seeing it...

No!

..it means I've got to get working on my DJ skills.

CLUB MUSIC PLAYS

I mean, I don't actually know how to DJ,

but I'm doing a good job at pretending, right?

Throw your hands up in the air!

Yo, yo, yo!

Truly terrific stuff, old bean. Well done.

But now it's time for you lot to show us some of YOUR skills.

It's the latest instalment of...

Riley, don't even worry about it.

Guess Whom?

Don't even worry about it. No, YOU don't even worry about it!

That was James from The Next Step.

I hate you, I hate you. Bog off.

Why do you need me at the Dumping Ground all the time?

Why do you drop me off all the time? So bog off!

Guess Whom?

Oh, why don't you all just bog off?

I was...

Tracy Beaker when she was young.

Bye!

What of James? Is he still in London?

I don't know what to do.

Guess Whom?

Alfie and I feel like more than just friends.

I'm totally confused right now.

I was playing Riley from The Next Step.

Do you want a scoop of the action?

Just record your own short impression of

a CBBC presenter or character, remembering to reveal who you were

at the end, and send it to us through the Whoops web page.

Guess Whom?

Right, then, chaps, set yourself down and prepare for

an explosive compilation of cracking clips from CBBC this week.

Three, two, one...

This challenge is what we call our virtual vertigo challenge.

That means that you're going to have to walk across this plank

400ft up between two buildings.

OK, and there you are, OK? Argh!

Look down, look down, look down.

HE YELLS

And now try and walk across that... No! No, no, no.

No! Oh, oh, oh!

It's too realistic.

And it's absolutely terrifying when he takes a wrong step.

Whoa!

HE SCREAMS

# Please tell us why you had to hide away for so long

# So long Where did we go wrong?

# Mr Blue Sky, please tell us why... #

I really enjoyed it. I thought it was really exciting.

I thought they were really good.

They knew what they were doing, definitely.

You don't really get many bands that have people signing in them,

so, yeah, this is quite unique.

Out of 10, I'd give it 11.

It was amazing.

I want to show you something with this popcorn.

Watch.

Eh?

First time. Give it a try.

Go on, have a throw.

Oh!

See, you're trying to get the popcorn to your mouth -

that's wrong.

Hold that for me.

What you need to do is this.

Stupid trick won't work. Miss Cackle! How have you done that?

Not even going to work, is it? That's what witches do. What?

You're all green, Hacks, and...

Miss Cacky, you've turned me into a frog, Cacky!

And that's all we have time for.

But there's no need to weep, you can get yourself over

to the CBBC iPlayer to catch up with anything you missed.

Now, I'm off to a fancy dress party tonight. I'm the invisible man.

Hang on, driver! Oh, they can't see me!

I knew I should have gone as a banana, I'd have much more appeal.

All right, Cockers, I'm a little dog from Wigan.

# Oh, yeah!

Can you guess who that was an impression of?

Yeah, you're right, it was Hacker T Dog, of course.

But can you do a brilliant impression

of a CBBC character or presenter?

Make it funny, make it silly - the sillier the better.

All you need to do is get to the CBBC website

to upload your 20-second clip.