Getting Out of Dodge Wingin' It

-REST OF TEAM:

-Ooh!

WHISTLE BLOWS

That's all the practice y'all deserve.

Remember, knuckleheads, tomorrow we start our dodgeball unit.

Now hit the showers! Wash everything! Come on!

Yeah, thanks.

At least you made one save, Carl.

Actually, I was trying to jump out of the way.

Dodgeball's going to be a whole different kind of pounding.

Guess again. I'm actually really good at dodgeball.

That's a type of confidence I've never seen in you before.

Nimble, quick, and I don't have a lot of surface area.

You watch, I'll wipe the floor with Serge. I'll make that lug weep.

You're going to eat those words.

Oh! Didn't notice you there, Serge.

Serge does not weep. That's crying, right?

-That would be a yes.

-Serge does not cry.

-He does speak in the third person.

-What does THAT mean?

You said, "Serge does not cry." You should have said, "I do not cry."

Oh, I'm sure you cry.

-No, I mean, you don't cry.

-I know. That's why I said,

"Serge doesn't cry."

You're always trying to confuse the situation, Montclaire.

That just makes Serge more angry.

-Porter brought it up.

-You're so hot at dodgeball, huh?

Mr Fast-Nimble-Surface-Area. I'm putting the word out.

Everybody destroy Carl in dodgeball. Or answer to Serge.

You know, for a minute, I actually thought gym was going to be fun.

-Foolish, Carl.

-Now you're talking in the third person.

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings

# From an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

Alex, I need your computer skills, STAT.

I've got a story to file, and my laptop froze.

-Sorry. I'm busy.

-Doing what?

Or is this one of those don't-even-ask things?

Don't even ask.

I'm drinking Gobsmack juice.

They put these letters underneath the bottle caps.

You collect them and win a prize.

All I need is the O in concert

and I win two front-row tickets to a rock concert.

And I love to rock!

And I'd love you to fix my laptop.

Sorry. I've only got a couple of days left

before the contest closes, and I have

all this juice to drink.

If all you have to do is open the bottle to check the letter,

why are you drinking all the juice?

Ah...

It doesn't matter. I'm GOING to find that O.

As luck would have it, I happened to drink a Gobsmack this morning,

-and found an O under the cap.

-No way! For serious?

Yeah. I'd be happy to hand over the O

in exchange for you fixing my laptop.

It's in the newspaper office.

I'm on it. Out of my way! Out of my way!

Well played, Jane. Well played indeed.

Hold that door!

Uh. My ears are still ringing from that "save" I made.

Can you keep it down?

Last I checked, I had a son and not a lazy housecat.

There are dishes to wash and a floor to sweep.

Why can't Becky do the dishes?

Because it's your job.

Greetings, followers.

-It is I, Fairy Princess Becky.

-You know what, Becky? It would be

awesome if you pulled your weight with the chores.

Maybe in a kingdom far, far away.

But here, you're Cinderella, and I'm the fairy godmother.

More like evil stepsister.

Right, Cinderella. You wash, I'll dry.

Awake from your slumber, Sir Lampshade.

Your carriage awaits, milady.

Better start going easy on the sugar.

Teams, you are now enemies. You do not like each other.

The object - to terminate with extreme prejudice.

Coach Heinrich? Do you care if we practise our cheers in here?

You know I never say no to practice.

-It's sleepy time in Carlytown.

-What does that even mean?

It means it's time to catch some Zs.

And by catch, I mean get hit.

And by Zs, I mean dodgeballs.

Remember, everyone, take out Montclaire.

WHISTLE BLOWS

-You too?

-Just trying to fit in.

-Cluster attack! Show no mercy!

Come on, Carl. Show me what you got.

This one's for you, Montclaire.

I haven't seen dodges like this since '86.

You're going down, Montclaire.

He's really good.

Come on, Montclaire, come on! I can dance all day!

What have you got? What have you got?

Carl's kind of cute, isn't he?

-THEY CHANT:

-Team Dodge! Team Dodge!

-Team Dodge!

-Woo!

Like what you see? Carl seems pretty popular.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I deserve a pat on the back.

Porter, just exactly what did you do? Nothing ridiculous, I hope.

Ridiculous? Me? I just made him good at dodgeball.

Scratch that - the king of dodgeball.

Well, Carl looks good now,

but let's hope King Dodge doesn't get dethroned.

You just went from Bennett's most wanted to Bennett's most...

wanted.

Thanks for using your angel magic. I owe you one.

You'll owe me two in a minute.

Hi, Carl. I'm Linda Peachtree.

Nice to meet you.

I was watching you dodge, and I thought you were amazing.

Ah...well, what can I say, I mean, er...

I just tried to get some good dodges in there for Coach

and knock some guys out,

but, yeah, have a good game of dodge and have fun up there.

I think we walk home the same way.

Maybe we could walk home together some time?

Oh - if you're free.

Yeah! Ahem...yeah, that'd be awesome.

Great. See you then.

Bye, Linda.

Porter, remember this day,

because this is the day that I got a girl to like me.

You should have seen him. He was jumping right, jumping left,

-jumping up, jumping down!

-Ooh! Jumping!

What did they call you - Prince Dodge?

Actually, King Dodge, but it's no big deal.

Ooh! Royalty!

And then, after school, a girl walked Carl home.

-A girl?

-It's no biggie. She just lives down the street.

OK, it is a biggie. A girl walked me home!

Did you get lost again?

For your information, her name is Linda,

-and she's a cheerleader and she just might like me.

-Really?

That's cute! Look at my boy!

Keep me posted on that.

In the meantime, these dishes need to be washed, and I've got to scoot,

so hop to it, Car... Becky.

I can't even reach the sink.

Oh, and the kitchen floor needs to be swept,

so Car...Becky.

Mom, are you sure you didn't mean Carl?

Thanks, sweetie.

Now I'm Cinderella way before the ball.

What just happened?

You, my friend, just dodged some chores.

Something like this just happened in class to me.

What was the name of the rebellion led by Louis Riel?

Car...Serge?

Ah...the Riel Rumble?

No good.

This dodge spell must be overlapping into other parts of your life.

Dodging questions is one thing,

but I feel bad about making Becky do my chores for me.

Don't worry. I know someone who can help her.

# Doo-doo-doo-doo... #

Ah! Porter! What's the big idea?

Dennis, you need to act quick.

There's a princess in need of your assistance.

Oh...OK! Sure, happy to help.

Now, how does that fairy tale stuff go again?

There's usually a dashing prince. That's no problem for me.

Dashing pr...oh!

Hello and greetings, Cinderella!

I am here to assist you with your chores.

Wow! A magical animal friend!

Follow me, Mr Racoon. Cinderella needs help with the dishes.

Dishes. Ooh! Can I lick them first? I love leftovers.

Hey! Get ready to give me my O!

I unfroze your laptop, got your article submitted on time

and I also erased four viruses

and changed your wallpaper to a JPEG of me holding a thankyou sign.

-Wow! Alex, thanks. You really saved me.

-So, about that O.

Ah...I left it in my gym locker. I'll give it to you later.

Hearing you say that makes me really happy.

-Getting your juice on?

-I feel terrible.

I needed Alex to fix my laptop and I promised him in return

I'd find him the winning letter for this dumb contest.

-You don't actually have the winning letter?

-Not yet.

C!

The juice companies do this on purpose.

There's always one letter that's impossible to find.

I'm going to find that O,

no matter how many gobsmacking juices I have to open.

I'm not a bad person, Porter.

Are you going to drink that? I'm a little dry. Yes!

The team captains today are Serge and - wait for it, wait for it...

King Dodge.

I'm going to turn you into mush.

No, you won't, but good luck, buddy. Don't wear yourself out trying.

All right, for my first pick, I choose...

Spenser, get over here.

Are you trying to lose? Spenser has two left feet!

You wouldn't understand. I know what it's like to be last pick.

I've been in Spenser's shoes. Sort of.

Come on! Finish him!

THEY CHEER

Hey, Montclaire.

You totally humiliated me and my team.

I know I made you look bad back there, but here's the deal...

No, you listen. I talk.

I threw my limes at you, and you made lemonade.

Serge bows to you.

You are indeed King Dodge.

Woo-hoo!

Yeah! You did that, man!

I'm not a bad person.

Ah! Alex! How's it going? Where've you been?

Looking for you. Can I get that letter from you now?

Er...of course! Of course. It's just in my, er...my bike pouch, so...

wait right here.

And this is my impression of a duck.

HE QUACKS

Oh, man, I've been doing that one for years.

I need a new animal, maybe a goose.

Funny AND good at dodgeball. How come I've never noticed you before?

Well, I've been in hiding, preparing for the day that I'd meet you.

Um, I'm sorry.

I thought that you...

but obviously...

No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, Linda!

I just dodged my first kiss.

I JUST DODGED MY FIRST KISS!

I liked your impression of the duck.

Aaah!

My lady Becky, the laundry is folded, your awesomeness.

No time for chit chat. Did you get that royal mop ready?

I couldn't find one.

Not good enough!

Well, er...I could hold onto the end of a stick, and you could use me!

Fine, whatever. Let's go.

Porter! No more dodging, all right?

I was just with Linda, she leans in for a kiss - a kiss, Porter!

-You dodged the kiss?

-Yes! Now take this magic away!

All right.

Stand still.

Ooh. The dodge spell even dodges my magic.

I should have thought this through.

-This means I'll never get kissed?!

-I can kiss my angel wings goodbye.

You're doomed. You are both SO doomed.

Carl, you'll be stuck dodging things for the rest of your life,

and Porter, you'll never be able to use magic on Carl again.

I'm just messing with you! Ha ha ha!

You should have seen your faces!

Oh...listen, Porter, you just need to wait

until the time limit wears off.

What time limit?

The time limit one should always put on one's magic

when one is an angel in training.

Page 347 of the manual.

Oh, I forgot to put a time limit on it!

Oh-oh.

He's just messing with us again, Porter!

That's a good one!

Got us tricked! Can't fool us twice!

-Absolutely not!

-No.

No. This is no laughing matter.

OK. I got to step this up a little bit.

This is more serious than I thought.

I'll have to pull out the big guns.

Jane, I think you have a juice addiction.

Why don't you just tell Alex the truth?

If I admit that I lied, it'll ruin our friendship.

-BELL RINGS

-He'd be so disappointed.

Like when he found out wrestling was fake?

Yeah. He cried for weeks.

I just have to avoid him until I find that O.

Hey! Jane!

-Alex! Great to see you!

-I've been looking all over for you.

Alex...I am so sorry.

I'm not a bad person, but I've done something really, really horrible.

I don't have that O.

Of course not. Cos I do.

Yes!

That was a C!

Where'd that O come from?

I guess you need some glasses.

I'm NOT a bad person! Rock on, Alex.

I didn't avoid your kiss. It's just, I was...

trying to do my chicken impression,

but you ran off before I could explain.

Chicken impression?

All right, I admit I am actually just really shy.

What a relief! I thought I had bad breath or something.

I went home and brushed my teeth for an hour. You're so cute.

Thanks. You're cute too.

And great. And cute. And did I mention great?

Yeah, but am I cute?

Ha! Yes.

I'm so glad I straightened up this whole misunderstanding.

There's a lot of things that I want to avoid,

but kissing you is definitely not one of them.

That's good to know.

Ah....but...

I don't think we should do this right now...

er, because Spenser there, he's got this thing for you,

and I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Great at dodgeball, funny AND considerate. You've got it all.

Carl, can I see you in the gym?

Er...I'm looking for some tips on dodgeball.

For my adult recreational league.

We play on Thursday nights.

I'm pretty bad.

Let's go.

Duty calls! Anything for a fan.

Carl, this is Angel Squad Alpha,

the crack team we call on when our magic goes awry.

If it weren't for them,

the Eiffel Tower would still be a giant stick of celery.

That's right. So Carl, if you'll come to the middle of the room,

and Porter, if you'll stand back.

The idea is to shoot un-dodge miracles at you

from every direction, creating a vortex of magic.

Everybody on three.

One,

two,

three.

This isn't fun, Porter!

Did it work?

WHISTLE BLOWS

-Yep, I'd say it worked.

-Yes!

The one time you play on my team, and you're garbage!

Everybody, Carl is no longer King Dodge.

I am King Dodge.

Well, I guess that's the end of that. Linda awaits.

Finally. First kiss, here I come.

Hi, Linda.

Oh. Hi, Carl.

I just thought that I'd come over here

and let you know that I think I'm over my shyness.

Oh, yeah. Definitely not shy any more, so...

I can't bring myself to kiss someone

who got such a pummelling at dodgeball.

Sorry. I'm shallow. I'm into guys who are good at sports.

Well...would you be willing to settle for a guy that's a good sport?

No. I only date first picks. Ready for pizza, Spenser?

I know he must be great,

because you picked him first every time in gym class.

Spenser?

Suddenly, I don't feel like such a good sport any more.

# Don't forget to vote in the student elections. #

OK. Oh!

# Hey there, Miss Casey You've run out of space-y

# In that good old locker of yours! #

Here, let me help.

-Well, well, well. So you're the culprit.

-Culprit?

-I've been seeing these Gobsmack bottles everywhere.

-Yeah. Sorry.

# Recycling matters to the masses To all my kids and all their classes

# So Miss Casey, I say to you... #

Congratulations, you're the school's new recycling monitor.

I want you to clean up all these empties after school.

# For the next whole month. #

A whole month?! But I...

# Save the school Oh, save the planet or perish! #

Sorry about that.

Got a little dark there at the end, didn't it?

Well, better get to it there, Miss Casey,

there's lots of recycling to do.

# Oh, kids in the hallway Kids in the hallway

-# Kids in the hallway, go home. #

-Time for the concert.

-Have fun.

-Yeah, we will.

-We?

You didn't think I wasn't going to take you to the show with me?

What a nice guy!

Yeah. I am.

Hey, look.

Another O.

I'm getting dish-pan paws.

Hello?

Porter - Dennis!

Wait, I missed a spot!

Well, well, I must say, it is looking pretty spiffy around here,

it even has that... hint of lemon in the air.

Thanks, Mom. Me and the magical talking racoon worked really hard.

He was here just a minute ago. Where'd he go?

What a creative imagination you have, Becky.

And how about you, my little King Dodge?

Everything still going well with the cheerleader?

Things were moving a little fast, so we decided to, er, stop.

Sometimes that's the smartest thing to do.

Looks like you got your kiss after all.

Ha ha ha(!)

Should have dodged it!

-I suck!

-How do you think I feel?

He's going to actually drink it!

I though we'd cut by then!

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