Hands Solo Wingin' It

Chocolate muffins are my favourite.

A chocolate muffin is a cupcake undercover.

So, if you scrape the icing off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin? No!

Alex does make a valid poi-i-i-int...

MEXICAN STANDOFF-STYLE MUSIC PLAYS

WHIP CRACKS

-Alexandro Horatio P Rodriguez.

-Hi, Dad!

Carl, Porter, Alex.

I could not wait for you to come home to deliver the fantastic news.

Finally you will be named the Count of Gorganzo!

Alex is royalty?!

Gorganzo is the Rodriguez's family land,

located on the Portugal-Spain border, and this year,

it may belong to Alex.

I've got to admit, I'm worried, Dad.

Alex, you've never been worried.

Alex is right. When a new Rodriguez comes to the throne,

he may be challenged by our bitter rivals -

the Salazar family.

What kind of challenge?

A duel that has driven an acrimonious wedge

between our two peoples for over 1,000 years.

For serious!

Alex can't duel. He can't even hurt a fly.

It doesn't matter, Carl. This is my destiny.

-Not hang-glide over a field of marshmallows?

-No, that was a dream.

Big difference.

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

-# Hey!

-I've got my wings from an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

Your principal

has designated the gymnasium as official Gorganzo territory

for the ritual duel.

With all due respect, why you, Alex?

And with no respect, why you, Alex?

He is the chosen one!

Show them, Alex,

and do it with Rodriguez flourish.

Feast your hungry eyes upon it!

It is the royal sign - the proof, the mark, of a Rodriguez.

The splotch? How is that proof?

It is no splotch! It is a skin giraffe, and it is written

under the stone, down by the river, under the shade of an orange tree...

-"He who bears the giraffe shall duel for the name."

-OK(!)

It makes more sense in Spanish. We MUST begin training,

but first, I dine.

Where is the cafeteria?

-Could I borrow four dollars?

-ALL: No.

No matter.

I still have enough for fries and gravy.

And I brought my own drink!

So,

-rumour has it...

-Rumour!

OK, I was eavesdropping on your conversation. Is Alex royalty?

-He's a soon-to-be Count.

-Alex!

You know, we do not spend enough time together.

-I've been your science partner since the start of the semester.

-Whatevs!

What is it that you Rodriguez royals look for in a potential queen?

-I like girls who wear moccasins!

-I can work with that!

Hey, Jane, I want words with you,

and by words, I mean sentences put together in a way

that shows that I'm angry.

What seems to be the problem?

"Serge Delvecchio, student of the week."

-First, you spelled my name wrong.

-No, I didn't.

Oh...

"Serge Delvecchio is student of the week yet again.

"Why, for throwing a ball in a net?"

Really, Jane?

I just think it should go to more well-rounded students.

-School isn't all about sports. There's arts and academics.

-Wrong!

-What?

-I can prove I'm a more well-rounded student than you,

so you're wrong.

You, me, three competitions - arts, academics and athletics.

-Slow down, Serge.

-Miss Lennox will judge.

-No, I'm not here to judge.

-You are today.

-Well, all right, then!

-Would these look good on me?

-Ugh! Where'd you get them?

-Lost property.

I'm making myself more attractive for Alex.

Because he's royalty. True romance(!)

I've never met royalty before, Porter.

Well, except for the Sofa King!

I now pronounce you a queen...

sized futon.

-Yes!

-Next.

Please, help me. I need to know what Alex looks for in a princess.

I want to be a queen and I don't want to wait until I'm old.

-(Should have beamed out when I could.)

-What?!

I need to beam out a bigger smile when I see you.

-So, you're going to help me?

-Fine, let's see.

Hmm...

This is the official list of all of Alex's likes and dislikes.

Ooh, a scroll! Likes - girls that wear bird's nest hats?

It's a hat with a bird's nest on it. You wear that and you're in.

Just remember - everything on this list, Alex likes. Everything.

Some of these things are pretty weird!

That's the whole point!

It's time for the Bennett High triathlon!

Featuring Jane the Brain versus Serge the...

-The Scourge!

-Scourge!

-As if that's a real word!

-It IS! It means "plague".

The first event is athletics - a basketball shootout.

Ha!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

JANE CLEARS HER THROAT

Yeah!

Beginner's luck, Casey.

Whoo!

Uh!

GROANING

Pssh! Pssh!

CHEERING

What just happened?

Don't worry.

You have a chance to exact your revenge in the next academic event -

creative writing!

What?! Ha! Whoo-hoo!

-Alex, what happened to your arm?

-Nothing.

-This arm? I busted it.

-He was practising for his duel

-and he injured it.

-I slapped when I should have elbowed.

I'd tear my hair out if it wasn't so thick and luxurious.

-Well, the main thing is Alex is OK.

-Are you mad, boy?!

The main thing is, the Rodriguez's will have to forfeit

our name and family land to the Salazars.

Alex will have no last name and the Salazars will get both names.

-Who made up THAT rule?

-It is written in stone!

You people write a lot of things on stones.

We don't have any paper, only stones and chisels.

And the odd hammer.

I'm going to have to change my name on my library card to Alex "nothing".

I will enjoy watching you and your people grovel, Diego.

-Alex, are you going to introduce us?

-This is Count Salazar.

-Nice cape!

-So, have you come to gloat, Salazar?

Your people give us great cause to gloat.

Ohh, it appears Alex will not be able to defend the Rodriguez land.

Kindly hand over your name and your land.

Hold on. Isn't there someone else who can duel in Alex's place?

It must be a man who has the mark of the skin giraffe who can fight.

But look! Isn't this the same mark on Carl's shoulder?

ALL: What?

Carl can duel in Alex's place.

The mark looks to be...legitimate.

It's legitimate!

-It's a birthmark miracle!

-I need a moment!

Porter, I do not want to compete in some crazy death match!

Why is your first instinct always to panic? It's all good.

Alex's dad is letting him fight - how hard can it be?

Carl, tomorrow you will fight Gergei.

Try to relax. If you look scared, Gergei will be over confident.

Oh, I'm sorry, do I look scared? My apologies(!)

Carl, there you are. I can't believe after all this time we're related.

Ah-h-hem!

So, Alex, hey!

-What's with your hand?

-Oh, do you like it?

It's just a little something I put together.

-Urgh! What happened to your arm?

-Well, Alex broke it.

Now I'm fighting the royal duel in his place.

So, does this mean that Carl is royalty now?

In the card deck of life, Carl is a king.

Ooh, Carl!

My lord, my liege, my soon-to-be king!

How art thou?

You must be initiated into the Rodriguez family

in a ritual that is over 1,500 years old.

..When we hold ourselves to the highest standards,

only then does our school, our society and our world

have a chance to survive.

LAZY APPLAUSE

Let's see you beat that!

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

GASPING

SERGE CLEARS HIS THROAT

"Dear diary, once upon a time,

"in a land far, far away,

"it was a dark and stormy night."

So if I complete this initiation, I'll be a Rodriguez?

Yes. Carl, this is Grandmamma Rodriguez.

Think of her as a young, beautiful lady.

That is a LOT of thinking.

It helps if you squint.

Argh! Ai! Yaah! Ee!

Ugh.

You and Grandmamma must piggyback through this field of eggs,

leading her blindfolded to the other side without stepping on any eggs.

I have to carry her on my back?!

OK, I don't think that's the best idea.

It's a terrible idea.

That's why Grandmamma's going to carry you on HER back.

Oh, OK! That's a much better idea.

For a second there, I thought I had to... WHAT?!

Yes!

The historic egg dance symbolises the old generation trusting

the new generation to navigate the perils of life.

And if she steps on an egg?

We forfeit our lands and title. We will lose everything.

OK, I'm ready.

I'm sorry in advance if I hurt you.

She can't understand English, only Spanish.

-The only things she understands are, "Don't step on that egg"...

-Oh!

-And, "The buffet opens at four."

-Oh!

Now it's going to take us an hour to catch her.

"And that ball sailed through the air,

"falling through the sky towards that kid's arms.

"Did it matter if the kid caught it?

"Did it matter if it ever rained again?"

Yes, it mattered.

Cos the kid caught the ball!

CLASS GASPS

He caught the ball. The ball... the ball...

And it started raining and a million dreams came true.

-Gee, didn't see that one coming(!)

-Ssh! What happens next?

Then he woke up...

and it was all a dream.

APPLAUSE

You win, Serge.

The next event decides it!

And on that high note, class dismissed!

Is it time to glowt, Papi?

Yes, we will have great cause to glowt.

How are you spelling "glowt"?

G-L-O-A-T.

Isn't that "gloat"?

Our people say "glowt".

Thank you, Papi.

So, I was wondering. What does Carl like?

Seeing as I AM going to be his queen.

Well, Carl...

He likes to be insulted through a megaphone. Gets him fired up.

I can do that but where will I find a megaphone?

There you go, Britt.

Mm!

-LOUDLY:

-Thanks, Porter. You're a real friend.

-Ha. Yeah.

On your mark...

get set...

go!

OK, er... Left!

Left!

Left! No, no. Your other left.

You ride a grandma like my grandma!

I want to go left, so...

OK. Um, now right.

I think I'm getting the hang of this.

Ha! It's working! Let's go, Grandma.

Yeehaa! Woo!

-Thank you, GrandmammaAAA! Urgh!

-Way to go, Carl!

You are an embarrassment, Carl. Go home!

Call me.

Long story.

Ah-ha! Ha! Ha...

The duel is set for tomorrow.

Tradition dictates that the arena will be set by you

for the cownflict.

You can do it in the gym. We can come and watch, sell slices and pop.

-Raise money for student council.

-Are you nuts?

The whole school gets a front-row seat for me whooping!

-The gym is closer to the nurse's office.

-The gym it is!

-The gym it is!

-The gym it is!

-The gym it is!

Jemmyfez.

The buffet opens at four.

Ooh!

Right, how do you feel?

I crossed an egg minefield on Alex's great-grandma.

-How do you think I feel?

-Epic?

-Yeah, kind of.

I need more time to train. I've no duelling experience. I'll get hurt!

There is still time to bow out if you are too scared!

I can't do this!

But you must, Carl.

The Rodriguez name is riding on this duel.

Plus my brother Jose's coming

and he never comes to anything I invite him to.

But I have no idea what I'm doing. I will for sure lose, Diego.

You only need to remember one thing, Carl.

Use your hands.

Use your hands, man! Use your hands!

This is not going to end well.

Get your corn dogs here! Fresh, roasted corn dogs!

Porter, none of the things you told me to do with Alex and Carl worked.

That's tough, Brittany.

Ooh! You're cute! Who are you?

This is Gergei. He's a prince of the Salazar family.

Ooh! So, Gergei...

Wait, before you talk to him, let me tell you what he likes.

Whatever this lands on is what our final event will be

and it'll determine our most rounded student here at Bennett High.

-Please land on Floral Arrangement!

-Come on, Muay Thai Boxing!

-Singing? All right!

-Better than all right!

# This is silly

# This is smart

# Why sing one...

# ..When there are two parts?

# We could sing together

# In perfect harmony

# Me plus you

# Equals we

-BOTH:

-# Together we could bake a cake out of pie

# Together we could jump

# Twice as high

# Together we could build a rocket to the moon

# Together we could learn to play the spoons... #

We could play spoons on the moon?

Anything's possible!

# When we do things toge-e-ethe-e-er. #

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

As a judge, I declare this event a tie!

-BOTH:

-A tie?!

Yes, well, you both seem pretty equally well-rounded.

-OFF KEY:

-# I-i-it's all ti-i-ied

# Oh, oh, a ti-i-ie... #

Yah! # A TI-I-IE!

-We should go make sure she's OK.

-We should.

FANFARE

Carl, Gergei.

Let the hand-dance commence!

Yah! Hoo! Hah!

-Carl.

-Huh?

What are you doing?

Please take your seat at the table.

And now, the music of our people!

A DANCE BEAT STARTS

What is this?!

Remember the egg field.

-BRITTANY, DISTORTED:

-'Ew, you're terrible!'

The initiation WAS the training!

Gergei is going to love this, Porter.

What is Carl doing?

The Rodriguez Rumble.

What is she doing?

I have no idea.

But she frightens me.

DING! DING, DING, DING!

DING! DING! DING!

DING, DING, DING! DING! DING!

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

I won! Ha!

Regrettably, the Salazars relinquish our clayim.

And let me spell "clayim" for you - L-O-S-E-R!

Ha!

Yes!

I knew you could do it, Carl!

As did I. Thank you for winning!

Good job, buddy.

HE SOBS

I have...too much...shame!

-ROBOTIC:

-Hey, Gergei. Do you like my robot?

Must move box from there to there.

OK, I confess. I made up all that stuff

about what the royal guys like.

-What?!

-I was just joking, Brittany.

-Ah!

-ROBOTIC:

-I have too much...shame.

No, no.

Your idiocy's completely cheered me up.

My idiocy? Really?

-ROBOTIC:

-Thanks, Porter. I'm off to be a queen!

Carl, pack your bags. We must get to Gorganzo.

Yeah, about that. Um... I can't really go to Gorganzo.

Yeah, he has a family here.

If you choose to leave the Rodriguez clan,

it is a loss I'll feel for a long time.

However, I understand you must return to the warm heart of your own family.

But first, we must have a DE-initiation prowcess.

What's that?

He means a de-initiation process.

No, I mean, what's THAT?

Huevo.

Oh! Argh! Gah! Ow!

Oh!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Email [email protected]