Fright Club Wingin' It

Would you like more brains, my zombie princess?

-ZOMBIE VOICE:

-Brains, brains!

You're not supposed to have brains for breakfast.

That's not what they mean by brain food?!

-It's just oatmeal.

-With scabs?

-Cranberry and raisins, actually.

-Delicious.

-Where did you get your Halloween outfit idea?

Just pulled it out of thin air.

-Becky, excited for tonight?

-Of course.

You bang on a door, demand candy, and they give it to you.

It's the perfect holiday.

-What are you supposed to be?

-A 21st century high-school student.

I didn't know that costume came in that size(!)

You didn't wear the costume I laid on your bed.

Mom, I'm 15. I don't need you to lay out my clothes on my bed.

-Besides, I am so over Halloween.

-Don't you find it...SCARY?

-SCOFFS:

-I don't get scared any more.

The only thing scary is the dentist bill! Ha!

Oh, come on. The joke wasn't that bad.

OK, come on, guys.

Is this like the time you left me with the check at Momma B's?

Porter?

Becky?

Mom?

ALL: Argh!

Durr!

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings

# From an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

-Nice costume. Are you a doctor?

-Mad scientist.

-What are you mad about? Ha!

-Global warming.

-Oh, right.

Can you help me with my charity haunted castle?

I'm afraid it will be a lame fest like last year.

-Who will dare touch the fresh eyeballs?

-Serge loves peeled grapes.

-Thanks, toilet paper lady.

-Why does everybody eat these?

-They're eyeballs, people! And I'm a mummy.

-Sorry, Mom!

The Pretty Puppy Adoption Foundation needs double what I made

or they have to shut down. Will you help me?

-Will you help them?

-Sure. Anything for PPAF.

Besides, I've got ideas on how to scare the wits out of people. Right?

Thank you, Carl. He thanks you too.

How about you magic up a super-scary castle

-so I look like a superstar to Jane?

-One condition.

-Name it.

-You wear a costume.

-Name another one.

-No.

-Fine.

-Veto.

-Fine.

Veto.

-Veto.

-Actually, I kind of like this one.

Know what? Fine. I'm only doing this for Jane and PPAF.

Now scare up the haunted castle.

EERIE ECHOING

Done.

-So the haunted castle's a hit?

-Totally.

Class ended an hour ago and I still have a line-up. Carl, thanks.

I don't know why but people are paying again and again.

That's the most terrific, scary, puke-inducing thing

since I swallowed a lizard in Grade Six. I'm totally doing it again!

-How did Alex swallow a lizard?

-Don't ask!

Nice hippy costume.

What costume? Vintage is in. Jane, good news.

I spent last night testing make-up and forgot to do the history report.

How is that good news?

I'm inviting you over for a homework sleep-over. Duh!

I've never been invited to her legendary sleep-overs.

She only invited me because of my knowledge of

Viking colonisation of North America, but I'm still excited.

-Sorry, Jane can't go. She's running...

-Count me in!

-Meet me outside in 15. 15, got it?

-I'll be there!

-The haunted castle?

-The puppies?

Thanks to you we raised twice as much

but I can't run the castle and go to Brittany's sleep-over.

-Maybe you could take over for me.

-Sure!

I'd love to go to Britney's sleep-over.

-I meant take over the haunted castle.

-Oh, right.

-Thanks, Carl.

I know how much you hate Halloween so this means a lot to me.

I'm off to Britney's.

-Jane's traded one horror show for another.

-Wonder who charges more.

There's lots of the suckers. Let's close it up.

You haven't gone through yet.

You too scared?

Hardly.

Wait. Can I go one more time?

General Serge hasn't been through yet.

I hereby order you to open these doors.

Fine. The sooner Halloween's over,

the sooner I get out of this ridiculous costume.

I don't think you look ridiculous, vampire waiter.

Serge, Alex, enter if you dare.

Can I take off my blindfold now?

You're lucky I'm letting you take it off at all.

But yes, now I am sure you don't know where I live,

you may take in the splendour of my room.

Woah! Looks like a rainbow exploded in here.

Thank you.

I didn't know anyone else was invited.

Yeah, Britney wouldn't let us talk on the way over.

I'm guessing that wasn't a problem for you two.

You guys have to be quiet.

I always take a power nap in the limo on my way home.

There's a couple of rules on the sleepover.

Don't touch my bed, my hairbrushes or my make up.

Other than that, let's go crazy.

Don't step on any graves.

Good job on the haunted castle, Porter.

My pleasure. Step this way.

Seriously?

Yeah, seriously.

LOUD BANG

What was that?

That is easy to identify.

No... that!

It's probably just the air conditioning.

If I die, you can have all my chickens.

I don't want them!

OK, it's gone, Serge. Nice touch, Porter.

That's cool, man.

Carl, it's not me.

What... meaning what?

Meaning, I didn't magic up a monster.

Meaning, something went horribly wrong.

Meaning... run!

I'm not crying, I'm not crying. I eyes are sweating!

So are your pants.

Feed him the chicken.

Take this as a sacrifice!

Get in the smoke, Alex.

Take the chicken!

I'm an egg chicken, not a meat chicken!

That was a close one. That thing was right on our tail.

What was that, Porter?

What, that girl screaming?

I was trying to clear my throat.

Was that a monster?

Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty.

Most aren't, except the swamp thing.

Webbed hands are underappreciated.

I'm getting out of here.

I'm with you.

We must have been in the haunted castle so long,

they locked us in the school for the night.

Trapped in the school? That's my second worst nightmare,

after being trapped in a school in my underwear.

Phew!

Can you just get rid of that thing so we can all go home?

I didn't crate that thing. At least I don't think I did.

Whatever. Can you at least unlock the doors?

OK, OK.

Come on!

I can't. Whatever it is, is blocking my angel magic.

Alex, close the door!

But I dropped my wallet in there. It has my bus pass.

ALL: Shut the door!

It's so strong. It's breaking through!

This way.

Go, go!

Get to the door!

Come on, come on!

Grab that desk!

Woah! Did you guys just see that?

The monster?

OK, it wasn't a monster.

What else could it have been?

I don't know but I've seen some pretty crazy stuff in my day.

-Like what?

-Ps... s... stuff.

Stuff, all right? I don't want to talk about it. Brings back memories.

I once saw a two-headed lizard at my cousin's.

-What happened to it?

-Don't even ask!

I'm sure that there's a reasonable explanation for this.

So, reasonable explanation?

-Why don't you check the windows are closed?

-Good idea.

I told you, I had nothing to do with this.

The flickering lights? That was me.

The moaning and clanking chains? That was me.

Dark, scary, swirly monster? Not me.

I don't know. Maybe you made it when you used the haunted castle magic.

DING!

Oh. It turns out the haunted castle magic

made an imagination monster that needs to be feared.

While everyone's scared and having fun, it's happy.

You don't believe in it, so it's angry.

You're saying that me not being scared of it makes it dangerous?

Hey, I'm just telling you what the book says.

DING!

The only to stop this thing is to fight it off.

Well, to do that, we'll need support.

You're doing great, Serge.

Not emotional support, you crazy chicken thing.

I'm talking real support. We need some armour.

OK, we're organised and ready to start on our homework.

-DOORBELL

-Eee!

Come on - trick-or-treaters.

Denise, what do you give out at your house?

The last Halloween I remember, they gave out cabbage.

You have a sense of humour. I approve.

Our house is a Halloween favourite.

We fly in boxes of chocolate from Belgium

for those who don't get to enjoy them all year.

Which is basically everyone outside Belgium.

Except me.

Jane, you stay here and start on the history report, OK?

I thought we were going to hang out and eat candy and do our homework.

WE will hang out and eat candy and YOU will do homework.

I must have missed that in the invitation.

OK, Leif Ericson, let's see how you get to America.

I don't want to go out there!

-Oh, what are you, a chicken?

-Yes, look at me!

This is ridiculous.

Yet you still managed to tape two phones to your shoulders.

Serge will go first and do some reconnaissance.

After all, I am the strongest and the fastest,

so I have the best chance of survival.

And living off the land, eating bugs and tree bark, if it comes to that.

Aren't you scared?

I don't know the meaning of the word "scared".

You have a dictionary on your chest if you want to look it up.

CARL SIGHS

CRASH!

SERGE SCREAMS

OMG! He's gone!

Maybe we should stick together.

Good idea! Let's hold hands.

Just...stay close.

Hey, Jane, how's your first sleepover going?

Not really what I expected.

Me neither. I thought we kept the candy, not gave it out.

-Brittany, I could use some help.

-Yeah, the laptop is there

and we are going to be over here, telling ghost stories.

So try to keep the typing to a hush, OK? Thanks!

Come on girls, scary story time.

I'm getting tired of Brittany treating me this way. Every time...

Jane! This homework is not going to do itself!

Come on.

Fine.

Ooh!

Brittany's completely missed the Viking migration of Scotland.

Here, I brought you these. Something sweet to counteract Brittany's sour.

Thanks, but I think I'll need a bigger box!

Does anybody know any scary stories?

I do!

Jane, if you don't want to work, you may as well go home.

-Well in that case...

-Yes?

I'll...just keep working.

So, Porter, how exactly are we supposed to...

defeat this so-called monster?

Maybe it's like a video game - you have to hit it in a certain spot.

Good thinking, Alex.

THE MONSTER ROARS

Hurgh! Ha!

Alex?!

Where'd he go?

Maybe he crossed the road to get to the other side.

Funny(!)

WOLF HOWLS

What was that?! What was that howl?!

Oh, sorry. It's way past dinner time.

Alex!

Alex!

Looks like it's just me and you.

And a terrifying swirly monster! How are you not scared?!

I'm an angel, so nothing can happen to me, and I'm still scared!

Thanks, very comforting(!) But I'm not scared.

Though the fact your stomach howls like a wolf

when you're hungry has me scared for you.

Look!

It went into the gym. Let's go.

This is a story about a group of beings I call angels.

They're sent to earth to help people.

You mean like guardian angels?

Yeah. They could be anyone, they could be anywhere.

There could be an actual angel in this very room.

Booooring!

Angels, boring?!

This coming from a girl who only has one thing to talk about - herself!

If she thinks angels are boring,

wait till she sees this angel in action!

Once there was a girl and she didn't have...

ANY CREDIT CARDS!

AND she couldn't remember...

her bank machine PIN NUMBER!

AND she only had...

500 on her!

IN CASH!

SHE WHIMPERS

Well, that's the scariest story I know.

My angel story isn't looking so boring now, is it?

Hmph!

OK, Listern Sisters, show me.

THEY ALL GASP

THEY ALL SCREAM

THEY KEEP SCREAMING

THEY SCREAM SOME MORE

THEY CLAP

THEY WHIMPER

You know what's scary?

Flip-flops.

I don't get them. It's like walking on slices of ham.

You find THAT scary?

THE MONSTER GROWLS

-Ah! Carl!

-HALF-HEARTED:

-Get back.

Carl, it's got me!

Stay away.

-Ah! It hurts!

-Stop.

I don't know what's happening! HELP!

Porter?

Porter?!

OK, Jane, I guess you can tell a story,

seeing as nobody else has any good ones.

OK!

Once upon a time, there was an evil witch,

who invited princess friends to a sleepover...

BRITTANY GASPS

The evil witch needed help with her history homework -

it was due THE VERY NEXT DAY!

WOLF HOWLS

So she got the help of the smartest, hardest-working,

nicest princess in the kingdom.

She was also very pretty but sadly undervalued in that area.

-THUNDER BOOMS

-Ah!

The nice, pretty princess slaved all night on the homework,

and when she was done, the pages...

were BLANK!

BRITTANY SCREAMS

Ha! SHE GASPS

She pretended to do the homework?!

Exactly!

Oh, nooooooo!

I think Jane wins for the scariest story.

No, duh! But she fails at my sleepovers!

I am going to get an F in history.

AGAIN!

-I hope you learned your lesson.

-Obvi not.

If I learned my lessons, I wouldn't have invited you in the first place!

Well, I guess you won't be making THAT mistake again.

Ooh, burn! Viking style!

Oh, and if you don't mind, I'd like to go home!

Oh, and on the way over here, I peeked -

123 Peach Tree Lane.

Oh! Oh!

OK, weird monster...thing...

that Porter probably created. Let's do this.

Oh!

OK. That was pretty sneaky, but I'm warning you...

I may not be the STRONGEST! Oh!

THE MONSTER GROWLS

Or the fastest.

And I may not have any real athletic ability to speak of...

..but I'm going to give you the battle of your... Oh!

Oh, so what? Big deal, you can fly(!)

THE MONSTER GROWLS

Oh, er... Erm...

Whoa!

Ah! Whoa!

Ah! Ohhh...

THUMP! THUMP!

Waah!

Oh! Ah!

Ah...

Oh. OK, OK.

I believe you, I believe IN you. I'm scared.

I'm really scared, just please don't hurt me!

THE MONSTER GROWLS

PORTER LAUGHS

You should've seen the look on your face!

It disappearing had nothing to do with me saying I was scared?

This whole thing was all you.

Yup. Upstairs, I'm the prank king.

One time, I took Dr Cassabi's halo

and used it in my AIT Ultimate Frisbee League.

-Took him a whole season to figure it out!

-Oh, hilarious(!)

I had to prove you could be scared.

Well, what happened to Serge?

CRASH!

HE SCREAMS

As an athlete, it's important that both my hands and my feet

are in perfect working condition.

A broken toe could mean the end of my career,

so I had to get to an emergency room.

Of course, I broke my other toe climbing out through the air vent.

And Alex?

Maybe it's like a video game - you have to hit it in a certain spot.

Good thinking, Alex.

"Teachers' Lounge"?

I'm drinking Teachers' Lounge milk.

It's not as fresh as I thought it would be.

Fine. You got me, Porter.

But that's the last time.

-GROWLING

-Argh!

No, THAT'S the last time.

HE CHUCKLES

ALL: Happy Halloween!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

Email [email protected]