We'll Always Have Detention Wingin' It

Oh, a new message. "I actually LOL-ed. Never happened before.

"Why do people look back when running from zombies?

"Ha, ha, what are you looking back there for?"

I know, it's ridiculous.

You know the zombie isn't going to stop chasing you.

That's what they do.

LOL ROFL, ; - P, also known as winky smiley face.

Stolen a laptop? I'm surprised you haven't sprouted a router.

I'm chatting with a girl whose status was, "Eating jellybeans

"and watching zombie movies." I gave it a thumbs-up

-and then we chatted until my battery died.

-You're Commando Awesome?

That's a little bit of a stretch, don't you think? Who's SurferGal8?

I don't know. We haven't got past our online names yet.

Leave it to you to find a perfect girl and not know who she is.

Commando Awesome has his first mission. Find out who SurferGal8 is.

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings

# From an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

-Who do you think SurferGal8 is?

-I don't know, just my future wife!

How does Mrs Commando Awesome sound?

How do you know she'll take your name?

I've narrowed it down based on vibes, hunches and wild guesses.

I'm SurferGal8. I always have been, I always will be!

OK, I'm not. Good luck with your search.

Move along, nothing to see here.

I'm SurferGal8, honey. Don't let anybody tell you any differently.

-I'm going to ask her to meet up.

-This study period is over!

Laptops down, pencils up. Pop quiz, multiple choice.

Porter, she's meeting me in the foyer after school in a red scarf.

Laptops down, Montclaire!

Well, I know most of these answers and I'm meeting up with my girl.

Oh yeah, today is Carl's day.

And...done! Now I'm going to count down the minutes

till I meet the girl of my dreams. I think I'll do it in Japanese.

Jyu, kyu, hatchi, nana, rocku, go, chi, san, ni, ichi...

What the...? Brittany, Carl!

-You have just been caught cheating.

-Wait, me?!

Yes! What do you do when you're done with the test?

-Hope for a good grade?

-You turn the paper over so no-one can see it!

What's the orientation of your paper? Look at you, leaning back

like you're looking up at clouds.

Well, one of them is shaped like a cheater!

-I didn't know she saw my answers. Tell them.

-I'm not your lawyer.

-History does not reward cheaters.

-I hate cheaters.

Detention, both of you!

This detention is your fault. I had a meeting to go to,

a hot meeting. Boiling hot.

I have things to do too, all better than being with you.

Silence, you two!

-What's that club?

-Detention club.

I'm a member of every club. That's the only activity I've never done.

-It's the greatest club.

-You've been in detention?

-I use it to get out of math.

-I don't know how to get detention.

-I'll show you.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-< Psst, Carl!

-Oh.

Where do you think you're going?

-I just need to tell Porter something.

-OK, if it's Porter.

-Hey, Porter.

-Mr T.

High-five.

Look, I can't have my laptop in detention.

-I can't stop being handsome. We all have problems.

-No, nut!

SurferGal8 doesn't know I can't make our date. Tell her I can't make it.

-How will I know her?

-She'll wear a red scarf.

You need to greet her the way we do online.

Tell me this is not zombie-related. Put both arms in the air and say...

Aaargh! Aaargh!

Guess it's her.

Aaargh! Aaargh!

Commando Awesome is Porter?

Don't freak out. I'm not SurferGal8.

She's a friend, and she wanted me to find out who Commando Awesome is.

I can't believe Porter likes a human.

-I also can't believe how good he is at that zombie impersonation.

-Aaagh!

And I can't believe how badly he's striking out.

This Porter liking a non-angel thing is a disaster. I have to stop it.

Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh!

Do you guys like jellybeans and zombies?

How will I find SurferGal8

when there appears to be a discount sale on red scarves?

I know from dating Carl that angels dating humans doesn't work.

So I'll find a better match for SurferGal8,

and say that's who Commando Awesome is.

Getting to mess with Porter along the way is just icing on the angel cakes.

Eyes forward, Montclaire.

What are you looking at?

-I was wondering why the Listern sisters were here.

-Talking in class.

-Wish I'd seen that.

-Everyone stay put.

I have to get a refill on the pathetic coffee here. It's decaf!

There's no effect, and it tastes terrible!

It's not polite to stare, even at somebody as beautiful as me.

Believe me, I have no interest in staring at the person

who got me stuck in detention.

CARL SCOFFS

What is that supposed to mean?

-What's what supposed to mean?

-You made a sound.

Would you prefer my farting sounds?

HE BLOWS RASPBERRIES

PHH-RRR-RRRRT!

-Silent, but violent.

-You know what, Carl,

I'm so sick of you, I don't even want to look at your face.

What?

Red scarf? Oh, come on.

Brai-i-ins!

You're Commando Awesome?

SurferGal8?

Awesome? You're not even Commando "meh"!

All my names are aspirational. What about you? You don't even surf.

I surf the internet, duh!

We didn't just lie on our profiles.

I had some stuff on mine that you liked.

As if! But your favourite movie is Zombie Crossing Guard, The Musical.

And you wrote that you liked pineapple cheese jellybeans,

which I find delicious. So I started chatting with you.

I so am into all those things. What do we do?

Why don't we start over? We like each other.

-Not "like" like, but we like each other.

-OK, I'll give you one like.

And we're both teenagers with feelings, so one like

-could turn into two, and then three...

-Sit down, you two.

Detention is not about standing around, yakking.

Hey, hey, hey.

Serge!

Take a seat.

Check out what I did wrong this time.

Take that, throw it on the ground.

-Serge, no littering in the halls.

-It wasn't Serge, it was me.

I know you, Jane. No need to cover for this miscreant.

You, detention, young man.

See, I told you it was easy to get detention.

Two points.

Serge!

-Shall we blow this popsicle stand?

-I like your made-up old expressions.

I mean, let's get out of here.

-Gotcha.

-Hey, Serge. Look, I need Telson out of here.

Done. Mr Telson? I saw them bringing doughnuts to the teachers' lounge.

-I heard they had crullers.

-Come on!

I was just there!

Thanks, Serge. Crullers are so good!

-Yes, we're free!

-Freedom!

Aaargh, brains!

Working your usual charm with the ladies, I see.

Just my luck. You're the only girl who'll talk to me.

Anyway, got to go.

Time for Operation Find Brittany A Better Guy Than Porter to begin.

Aaargh!

Aaargh to you too, Porter.

First, Serge Del Vechio!

This guy's moving up over here, this guy's here.

Why is this guy still on the team? This is me right here.

I'm dodging around right through these two guys,

boom, touchdown! The crowd's going wild!

"Serge!"

Next.

You're awfully quiet.

Are you nervous?

Are you shy?

What are you doing?

I'm playing hard to get. Is it working?

Next!

Next.

I don't really like brains, Porter.

Or jellybeans. Do you want me to like them?

No. Is everyone trying out for Little Red Riding Hood?

-What do you mean?

-Everyone's wearing red scarves.

It's a fashion trend. Brittany started it. And I followed,

-like I always do.

-Of course! Brittany's SurferGal8. Thanks.

-Great way to kill the tension.

-I didn't know the gym had a trampoline.

-How Commando Awesome is that?

-It's SurferGal-ish.

OK, look, Mr Telson will be back any minute.

I was in the teachers' lounge for 30 minutes. No doughnuts, nothing!

Whoa. Where's the Listern sisters and Serge?

Oh, they skipped out when you left.

Oh, they did? That gives me ten minutes to get my train.

Detention's over, go!

We should do this again. Not detention, the fun part.

-Sure, like a date thingy.

-Sure, why not?

-Diner, six?

Sounds good.

-I figured out who SurferGal8 is.

-It's Brittany.

-No, it's Brittany.

Wait, you know? I've just bothered every girl in a red scarf.

We have a date. We might turn the online thing into a real thing.

Yeah, well, that's great for you.

That's awesome. I'm glad you guys get along.

All right.

Brittany and Carl? Now, there's a couple with a twist.

Let's see if Carl would be a perfect match for Brittany.

Colour me blonde, baby.

Hey, Carl. Like, whatevs and stuff.

-Oh, hey again. What's up?

-We need to get to the diner and have a date.

I know. What about later?

What about now?

-What about OK?

-Of course!

Ovvy, lol, lol, lol, lol, ruffle,

ruffle, lols. And finish it off with whatevs, of course.

Whatevs!

This has been great. Nothing like a bucket of deep-fried fries

to make you think about what's really important.

You're so deep, your brain is deep-fried deep.

-You're hilarious. We should do this another time.

-Next week?

-Perfect.

It has been.

Until next time.

Carl is the perfect match for the real Brittany.

It took a couple of tries, but I figured it out.

I'm a Cupid without the bow. Or the arrow. OK, I'm nothing like Cupid.

Boy, I'm good.

What are you up to, Denise?

Service was great, so 15%. But the date was better, so 20%.

But I'm not tipping on the date, so 17%.

Carl, I am so excited about our date!

What?

-It's good here.

-What do you mean?

To eat. SurferGal8 brought her appetito.

That's foreign for yums.

Well, you seemed to enjoy the jumbo fries.

They are golden like my complexion and jumbo like my talent!

What's going on?

Duh, we're on a date. I thought you liked spending time with me.

-I do. And I just did, and I guess I will again.

-So what's the probs?

-Let's order.

-Waiter, could we get another order of jumbo fries?

-Weird!

-Jumbo appetito!

Hello, Jane.

-Principal Malone?

-Yes?

Ahem.

-Hmm.

-Hmm.

-Hmm?

We'll use words?

I don't understand.

Look, "no loitering in the halls", but I'm loitering in the halls!

You've got a detention, young lady. No yelling in the hallways.

It feels like my stomach is punching itself inside me.

-Do you have butterflies too?

-No, the two dinners. I know of double dates,

-but this is ridiculous.

-You have not been romantic at all this evening.

It's hard to be with a sack of deep-fried potatoes in your guts.

Ew! Carl, we are on a date. Stop talking about your guts.

Well, it was a date at first, but now...oh, I'm so full, I can't talk.

Oh, you are so full of boring, is what you are.

-What is your problem?

-Stomach cramps.

Did you take snooze juice before you got here? You're making me yawn.

-So are the carbs in my guts.

-If you say guts one more time, I'm leaving!

Guts!

Oh, we are over!

We're over! And I so just lost my appetito!

Why would a girl go on two dates in a row,

complete with two meals and two desserts?

Your first date was with Denise. I saw her change back at the diner.

-Why would she do that?

-Could be any reason, but I've decided

it's because she's a complete wacky wibbly-wobbedy doo.

-Is that the medical term, Dr Jackson?

-Yeah. Look it up.

Then I was mean to the real Brittany. I have to apologise.

And I have to get revenge on Denise for messing with your love life.

Brittany, I discovered the identity of Commando Awesome.

Oh, I forgot I asked you to do that.

No need to thank me.

-Don't worry, I won't.

-The identity of Commando Awesome is...

-Carl?

-What?

-I figured it out in two seconds.

No, it's not Carl, though that's what I was going to say.

-It's Porter, but it should be Carl.

-Never snoop for me again.

No, you don't get it. Carl is your perfect match.

I never want to talk to Carl Montclaire ever again!

-Hi, Jane. Bye, Jane.

-Wait, I have detention!

Well, I excuse you from detention.

-But I worked so hard to get it!

-I want to go home!

-I want to stay!

Suit yourself.

I'm finally in the detention club.

And don't waste energy.

Huge news, Denise.

The biggest news ever.

After their date last night, Carl is in love with Brittany.

What? No way! She hates him.

I was afraid of that. The poor guy will have his heart broken.

Can you meet him in Mr Telson's room and sort it out?

Uh-huh. Sure.

Time for some payback.

Please let this be the last time I have to do this.

Hey, Brittany, how are you doing?

Awesome! I mean, I am Brittany, so I'm always awesome.

And I'm Carl!

Please tell me you'll be mine.

Er...I'm surprised.

I'm surprised too, by how much I like you.

And I really like you too, Carl,

but I'm not ready to commit to anybody right now.

But we had such a great date! It was a fun, super-duper time.

Oh!

Calm down.

Why, why, oh, why?

You are breaking poor Carl's heart!

I mean, you are breaking my heart!

I refer to myself in the third person when I'm upset.

Oh, Carl's so sad.

I changed my mind.

Sure, sure, sure.

What?

I do want to be your girlfriend, Carl. Let's kiss.

Huh?

Yeah! Come on, smoochy-face.

You can't just change your mind like that.

I'm a girl, that's what we do. I want to kiss that cute face of yours,

unless you don't want to kiss me for some reason, Carl.

-Then why don't you do it, Brittany?

-OK.

-OK.

-So I guess now we...

-Kiss.

I can't believe you kissed me, Porter!

-I didn't want to do it.

-Your lips didn't complain.

-They were in shock!

-I hope you learnt your lesson.

-Oh, you are the worst...!

I'm glad that Commando Awesome/SurferGal8 thing is over.

-It gave me a lot of trouble.

-You? I had to kiss Denise to get revenge.

-Ooh! Yeah, you sure showed her, Porter.

-Later.

-Hey, Brittany.

-Carl.

-I'm sorry for fighting with you on our date.

As a peace offering, I got you jellybeans.

Well, I was a little out of line, so...sorry.

-Can I walk you to science?

-Sure.

-Maybe we're better off as friends.

-I did have fun, though.

Me too. And we'll always have detention.

-AS ZOMBIE:

-Detention!

-De-ten-tion!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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