Bully Elliot Wingin' It

Ha!

Nice try, Becky, but I'm immune to your cereal attack, so bring it on.

-Would you like some milk with that?

-I prefer soy.

You look like a well-balanced breakfast.

Some might say I'm fortified with iron.

So, you'll be ready for the start of the badminton unit today.

I'll be fine. Besides, badminton's one of the few sports I'm good at.

Right here!

Most sports end up with the coach standing over me saying,

"Carl, how many fingers?"

Badminton will be a breeze, thanks to my natural grace.

Argh!

-Touchdown.

-Carl, how many fingers?

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings from an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

Listen up, men! And I use that term loosely!

The girls soccer team has just made the semi-finals! Hold your applause!

As their coach, that means I won't be able to teach the badminton unit!

So, I'm bringing in a student coach to cover the class!

Please let it be the hot girl from the senior badminton team.

SLOWED DOWN MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC SCRATCHES TO A STOP

Not as hot as I hoped for. Also, not as female as I hoped for.

Elliot is a senior at Bennett High,

who has more trophies than a trophy store!

Thanks, Coach. I appreciate this opportunity to promote badminton.

Elliot, they're all yours! Heinrich, out!

I've been waiting to meet you for so long. Can I have your autograph?

-Never wash that head.

-I never do!

Boy, this Elliot guy is cool.

Hey, no talking when I'm talking, chicken legs!

-I think he's talking to you.

-That goes for you too, beanpole.

And tuck in that shirt, this isn't a disco!

No, not you guys! Just him.

-Disco? What kind of reference is that?

-Didn't you hear me, dorkis?

-Dorkis? What is that?

-Hmmm. It's a small Irish boat.

Now, time to turn you badminton boys into badminton men.

Did Elliot have to demonstrate the smash serve, two feet from my face?

He could have given you a racquet to defend yourself.

I feel so lucky I'm not in your gym class. Elliot sounds like a monster.

-Although, there are no such thing as monsters, right, guys?

-No.

Is that a black eye, or did the rest of your face just get whiter?

-Carl's really taken a shiner to the new badminton coach.

-Hahaha(!)

-Very funny, beanpole.

-I have some concealer if you want it.

Thanks, I'm good.

That's good, because you guys have very different skin tones.

Anyway, get this!

I overheard a whispered conversation in the cafeteria

that Brittany has started a frenemy club!

A frenemy is someone you pretend is your friend

and then you stab them in the back. Friend, enemy - frenemy.

If everyone you knew was a frenemy,

you'd only need to know half as many people to get all your needs met.

-OMG!

-NOOOOOO WAY!

-For serious?!

-You guys are mocking me, aren't you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-I wasn't.

-Thank you, Alex. This is serious.

The Frenemy Club is mean and unfair and it needs to be taken down.

I'm going to become a member of the Frenemy Club,

then I'll write a scathing expose.

I'll do that by going deep, deep, deep undercover...

Well, I won't wear a disguise and I guess, I'll still use my own name...

OK, so it won't be that deep undercover...

So, you're going to befriend the club and then stab it in the back?

Kind of ironic, huh? But, yes.

You want some help with that?

-Hey, Alex, look! A monster!

-For serious?

-Thanks!

-I must have missed it, Porter.

Why do they call it a special when it's anything but?

-LAUGHTER

-Awww! What's wrong, chicken legs?

Tray's too heavy to make it all the way to the table?

And to think, badminton used to be my favourite sport.

In sports, it's, you know, perfectly natural

to crush and pound your opponent. But off the field? Not cool.

When I'm in the game, I'm like this... GRRRRR!

But off the field, I'm like this.

Playing a game... GRRRRR!

Off the field...

Playing a game... GRRR! Off the field...

Look at what Elliot's doing to Spencer.

Well, Spencer does bring some great lunches.

Yeah, but Elliot shouldn't be pushing people around like that.

You want me to have words with Elliot?

-And by words I mean, no words, all action.

-I appreciate the offer,

I don't think that's the way to go.

Great, because I don't think I could take him.

-Don't let anybody know that.

-We won't, Serge.

-You guys should forget it, too.

-Forget what?

Forget that I don't think I could... Oh, I get it. Very crafty.

Don't worry, Coach will be back tomorrow

and our lives will be Elliot-free.

Hey! Why are you covered in food?

-It's my spaghetti shirt. All the cool kids wear them.

-I need your help.

-What comes between a stander and runner?

-A walker?

-Right! Walker!

-Walker... Walker... Got it! Nina Walker!

-What are you doing?

They keep the location of the Frenemy Club secret.

The only way to get there is to follow the clues. Hey, Nina.

Not sure if this makes sense, but, uh,

French manicures look their best in the moonlight.

-Why not say it was right here the whole time?

-Shh!

OK, whatever. Just come in.

Well, Porter, we managed to survive Elliot's reign of terror.

I'll be so happy to see Coach Heinrich, I might actually cheer.

-I'm back!

-Woo! Yep, I actually cheered.

-And I've got good news!

The girls' soccer team made it to the regional finals!

Let's hear it for them!

-You! Clap louder!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, Elliot will stay on until the end of the badminton unit!

-Let's hear it for Elliot!

-GROANING

Hey, chicken legs.

-Looks like I'm going to be a permanent fixture.

-What?

-Like a ceiling fan?

-20 jacks!

-Jacks?

-Jumping!

Everyone! Come on! Let's build up those drumsticks!

HE CLUCKS

-Faster!

-You got it.

Slower!

-Yeah, baby!

-HE GROANS

-Whatever hurts more.

-Bring it on!

-Elliot's really putting the hurt on Serge.

-OK, enough, meat head.

-Go polish one of my racquets.

-Woo!

-Can I have your autograph again? I sweat it off.

-No!

Who's next for the fit test?

Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact.

I made eye contact, I made eye contact!

-Scurry over here, Mouseclair.

-Do you want me to beam him to Poland?

Or, turn him into a ground hog?

A, you're not allowed and B, what's wrong with Poland?

-Get over here, Montclown!

-Notify my next of kin, will ya?

-Montclair, Montclown, good one!

-Keep it down, Stooge.

-Yes, Sir.

Carl Eclair, give me fifty...thousand.

-Are we counting by hundreds?

-No, who counts by hundreds?

One. One. One. One. One. One...

You three are the only Frenemy Club pledges left.

All the other girls failed. They're as ill-fitting as Jane's skirt.

And now the pledge challenges get a lot tougher than the earlier ones.

-Do you have what it takes?

-Yes! I do!

Oh, my gosh! Your hair looks so good! So fabulous!

THEY LAUGH

Well, done, Jane!

Although, your duck walking could have used a little less walk

and a little more duck. You have one last mission

-to prove you have what it takes.

-I'll do whatever!

Unless I have to eat bugs. I don't think I can do that.

Your final mission, should you choose to accept it, is you have to

get one of your close friends to tell you a secret

and then you have to reveal it to everyone.

What about the bugs? I'm sure I could stomach an ant!

Jane, do you want to be in the Frenemy Club, or not?

I'm very honoured to win this Bennett Newshound Pennant

for my in-depth expose of the corrupt organisation that

is the Frenemy Club.

Or, rather, that was the Frenemy Club.

I'll do it!

HE BLOWS THE WHISTLE

THEY GASP AND MOAN

Based on your fit tests,

you're all far too pathetic to master the sport of badminton.

-Montclown, you're particularly weak.

-Your training is totally overboard!

And we haven't even played badminton this whole time!

I think I'm pretty good. In fact, I think I could take you. One on one.

ALL: Whoa!

-Zip it!

-Standing up to the Junior National Champ?

I like your confidence. I hate your chances,

-but I like your confidence.

-Somebody had to do something.

OK, let's make this interesting.

-If I win this game then you have to stop pushing us around.

-Sure!

And if I lose, I'll give you all A's in badminton

and you can skip the rest of my classes.

But if I win, Montclueless, I own you.

-Dude, at least let me give you a little "help".

-Porter, it's fine.

I got this. OK, let me rephrase that... Uh, yeah, sure! Go ahead!

-WHISTLE

-Game on!

Come on, Carl! You got this, man!

CHEERING

Come on, Montclair! You can beat him!

Nice shot, Montclair!

That's what I'm talkin' about, yeah!

That's what I'm talking about, Carl. Good job.

Match point, Montclair.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Great game, Montclair. Even though I would have gotten an A anyway.

Quiet! All of you! No way did I lose to this pipsqueak!

This court isn't even regulation! This whole game was rigged!

-How could we have rigged a badminton game?

-I don't know!

You're all doing 20 laps around the school!

Or deal with the consequences!

You promised that if I won the game, you'd back off.

Promises are meant to be broken. Like bones.

Actually, bones are meant to support muscle tissue.

-And dogs like them a lot.

-That's funny, Montecarlo.

Dorkhammer here just asked if you could do another 20 laps!

So make sure you thank him! Let's go! Go! Go! Go!

-How many thank yous do you think I'll get?

-None.

-Hey, Alex!

-Hey, Jane.

I was wondering if you had any deep, dark secrets?

I once dropped a battery in the ocean!

Actually, it was a camera, but it had a battery in it.

I've never told anyone that before.

I was thinking more of a secret, secret.

Something you wouldn't want anyone else to know.

Well, there is one secret. I can't sleep without my dinosaur jammies.

My mom says I should give them up,

but they have footsies to keep my toesies nice and warm.

-Thanks, Alex. That's perfect.

-They are! They are the perfect jammies.

-Hey, T-Rex. Where are your footies?

-At the end of my leggies.

-I meant your pyjamas, dino doof.

-Jane.

Why did you tell everyone my secret? I thought you were my friend!

I do feel bad about Alex,

but in the newspaper biz we call that collateral damage.

Right now, my only goal is toppling the Frenemy Club.

At least you didn't tell them I still sleep with a stuffed unicorn.

Stupid dino jammies!

THEY LAUGH AND JEER

Can we talk, Coach?

Make it quick, I gotta order a new badminton net.

-You guys have been tough on it.

-Elliot was tough on it.

Actually, he was only half as tough on the net as he was on us.

We were hoping you could get him to stop acting like a bully.

I had no idea. Elliot, front and centre!

Have you been giving these kids a hard time?

I'm just trying to make them the best badminton players they can be.

-Like me.

-You are a great badminton player.

You're looking at a future Olympian!

May I also just say it has been my great pleasure to train these

fine gentlemen in my badmintonian ways.

They'll never be the calibre of player I am, but I jest.

I JEST said that.

HE LAUGHS

But, if you'll excuse me, I have to tutor some kids in math

and I usually bake them cookies first, so I gotta get me to home ec.

-Man, how does he find the time?

-Coach, he made everything up!

Yeah, including the word badmintonian.

Guys, Elliot is a champion!

Sometimes, champions are intense!

This is way past intense! He's acting like a bully.

-Are you wimping out cos sports are tough?

-Coach!

Besides, you're the only two complaining!

Just try and make nice with him. Make nice, nice, nice!

It is time to initiate you into the most sacred of all clubs.

The Frenemy Club. To prepare you for your initiation,

we are going to give you an official frenemy make-over.

So you can look as hot as we do.

I never thought you were going to make it,

but you have showed us your true colours.

OK, so Coach Heinrich said that Porter and I are the only two

that were complaining. That's how Elliot's getting to us.

-Mostly, he's getting you.

-Yeah, Stooge?

When was the last time you had a lunch?

Is anybody else getting sick of pulling their wedgies out?

If we all stand up to him, he doesn't have any power.

-So, we ready for this?

-ALL: Yeah!

OK, and remember, we can do this together.

All right, wieners, on your bellies and give me 50! Come on!

What's your problem, mouskerpuss?

It's not just me who has a problem with you.

Every guy in this class has a problem with you!

We're sick and tired of the way you treat us and it has to stop!

Oh, really? Is that how everyone feels?

Whoever has a problem with me, stand up! Go on! I dare you!

Come on, guys! Serge?

Let me finish my push ups first and then we'll see.

Like five seconds ago you guys were cheering!

Looks like chicken legs is all alone in the coop and frankly,

I've had just about enough of your clucking.

Since you insist on special treatment,

maybe I'll give it to you.

Everyone, I'd like to introduce the new and improved Jane Casey.

LAUGHTER

Urgh! I look hideous!

I can't believe it! How could you do this?!

If you were a real frenemy you would have seen this

coming from a mile away.

You obviously don't have what we need.

-Well, I have everything I need.

-To join the circus maybe!

I'm really going to enjoy this, Monsoon to be clobbered.

Threatening me isn't going to help you.

All right, it's done pretty well up until now, but it ends here. I hope.

Where did that come from?

Stop it!

-Maybe some sort of warm up before he pummels Carl?

-Stop laughing at me!

Is he playing badminton without the racket?

Stop it! Go away!

I think he's off his shuttlecock.

-Shut up! Go away!

-Look at him now.

-Not so scary, is he?

-Now he's scary in a different way.

Stop laughing at me! I'm going to make your lives miserable!

Each and every one of you is going to pay!

I don't care if I have to follow you all home! Your lives are over!

Principal Malone and I thought we heard someone yelling.

And what we heard you yelling was quite disturbing.

-He's been acting like this all week. Right?

-ALL: Yeah.

Elliot, we're going to have a long talk about threatening the students.

This behaviour is unacceptable.

There's a line between no nonsense and nonsense

and, Elliot, you're a full football field past it, son!

Good analogy, Coach. You, my office. You heard me.

-You have some explaining to do. Go. Today.

-Thanks, Porter.

I only gave you the magic to be good at badminton,

not to stand up to Elliot.

-That? That was all you.

-Well, then, thanks for nothing.

Hey, knuckle heads, stop the chit chat!

-Who wants to play some badminton?

-CHEERING

-Let's play some badminton.

-SERGE GRUNTS

Extra! Extra! Top story of the day! The Frenemy Club disbanded!

-Good job busting the Frenemy Club, Jane.

-Thanks, Carl!

It's the furthest I've ever gone to investigate a story.

-I had to act like a horrible person, but I hope it was worth it.

-It was!

-Even though you were humiliated?

-I wasn't humiliated. I was undercover.

-Jane just didn't tell me until afterwards.

-And I apologised, too.

-Oh, and most important, watch this.

-Listen up, everybody!

I have decided that dino jammies are cool.

Ever since I found out that Alex Rodriguez wears them,

I just had to get me some.

-Yes!

-Nice making amends, Brittany.

-Can I please go take these off now?

No, not yet.

# This here's the story that come to pass

# When a new guy taught the boys' badminton class

# His name was Elliot!

-# He was a nasty guy!

-Made the boys do push ups till they died!

# Hit a badminton bird right into his eye!

# Hit a badminton bird right into his eye!

# When Carl beat him in the badminton game!

# He said the game was rigged and called Carl a name!

# Chicken legs!

# Mouse-clair

# Mont-clown!

# When you come to Bennett High you can't act like a bullyyyyyy! #

COUNTRY AND WESTERN MUSIC PLAYS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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