Flowers for Sergernon Wingin' It

Hey, Serge, you ready for the exam?

No way, Montclaire, never have been, never will be.

Serge does sports, not science.

Your hands any better?

You want me to magic you an ice pack?

No, not enough time. The exam starts in five minutes

and I can't even hold a pencil. All thanks to last night's study session.

An atom consists of a nucleus surrounded by negatively charged electrons.

See, by studying this way it opens up my brain bowl

and allows the knowledge soup to pour in.

How am I supposed to write an exam with these nubs?

Oh, a pencil. Gee, what'd this set you back, five, six cents?

No, wise guy. The magic pencil channels knowledge

from the holder's brain onto paper.

-It does the writing itself.

-Oh, all right. Well, wish me luck.

Students take your seats.

Sowatski, you're in the wrong class.

Thanks Montclaire, Serge forgot his writing stick at home.

-Serge I need that pencil.

-You have 60 minutes for the exam.

There will be no talking,

no coughing, sneezing is all right as it is an involuntary act,

but let us remember our hygiene rules.

I take it Serge will be zipping through yet another exam?

-And by zipping I mean he doesn't really care.

-You got it.

Perhaps you could use your extra time to practice

for the basketball shoot out against Terrendale High.

Don't worry, sir, Serge is in prime form, this win's in the bag.

-Excellent, excellent.

-Serge, I need...

Silence. As through the vacuum of space. I use that analogy

because sound can not travel through a vacuum.

A little hint for question number five.

Uh, but my pencil.

May I recommend the number two HB soft lead.

Sharpened it this morning.

Begin!

# Let's give it one more shot

# Let's give it everything we've got

# Cos if we get it right

# We will surely conquer the world

# Hey! I've got my wings

# From an angel

# Now we're wingin' it all the time

# I'm giving wings to an angel

# Always an angel

# Now we've got to learn to fly. #

Atom consists of, gah, I know these answers,

I just can't write them down.

No talking. That includes desperate muttering to yourself.

Done in record time.

Perhaps you'll get a record grade.

THEY LAUGH

-Good one, sir.

-Good luck at the shoot out.

Oh, thanks, Montclaire.

Pencils down.

Attention, attention! Hello!

HE TRIES TO WHISTLE UNSUCCESSFULLY

SHE WHISTLES

Terrible news. The Bennett High Bear Claw cheering move.

Yes, that, has been stolen.

How do you steal a move?

-Terrendale trademarked it.

-No way.

The Bennett High Bear Claw is now the Terrendale Tanger Paw.

Terrendale going behind our back. We're here to announce a contest

to come up with a new cheering move for the school.

Competitors will meet in the gym at lunch to show off their moves.

So good luck, and go Bears.

So, did the magic pencil transfer the knowledge from your head to the paper?

No, because Serge borrowed it right before the exam started

-and I didn't get to use it.

-Uh oh, we'd better get it back then, huh?

Do whatever special magic manoeuvres you need to do to get rid of that thing.

Done.

Between my inability to write the exam

and Serge's lack of knowledge, we both probably failed miserably.

Next in the Bennett High best move competition is Jane Casey.

APPLAUSE

I call this the Bennett Bear scratch and scoop.

Thank you, Jane.

APPLAUSE

That was very bearable. Grrr.

Next, Brittany Hanson.

I based my move on what's cool.

I know what people love because they love what I love

and what I love is... me.

Thank you, Brittany.

APPLAUSE

Is that our last competitor?

APPLAUSE

I just had a bee in my pants.

I guess that's the last time I store honey in my pockets.

Unfortunately, as a cheer move goes it's far too complicated to repeat.

Does this mean I still have a chance to win?

Uh, not with me around.

We'll have a new competition tomorrow in time for the shootout. Oh, ho!

Exam results!

Uh, I'm afraid to look.

You should be, Carl, you got everything wrong,

including your name. Cral Montclank?

An alias won't save you from this travesty of a mark.

You got 3%. And in a suspicious turn of events,

Serge scored a 100%.

Is that out of a hundred?

-Serge has never received 100% on an exam before.

-Highly suspicious.

Well...

So, you're probably wondering why I called you both in here.

Because Serge got a suspiciously high grade on Mr Dolby's exam,

while I, a good student, got a shockingly low grade?

OK, so you weren't wondering.

Anywho, I have reason to suspect that Serge cheated on the exam

and if he did, he will be expelled.

What? Why?

HE CRIES AND SOBS

HIS CRYING CONTINUES

HIS CRYING STOPS SUDDENLY

HE STARTS CRYING AGAIN

Is everything OK in here?

You can hear Serge's crying?

Everyone can, it's broadcasting over the PA system.

SERGE'S CRYING AND LAUGHTER

Oh, Serge must be leaning on the intercom button.

Made that mistake many times myself.

Ugh, this is all my fault. And maybe a bit of Porter's too.

Oh, who am I kidding, it's my fault. Me and my stupid study habits.

And Komodo Dragons of Doom. Turns out you get to level 20,

you have to clean the dragon's cage.

Oh, speaking of cleaning up big messes, I need to make sure Serge doesn't get expelled.

Listen, Principal Malone, you have to let Serge retake the test.

Serge isn't a cheater. He doesn't cheat on anything.

-It's not sportsmanlike.

-You have a valid point.

-Serge.

-Ukulele.

Thanks but I don't take bribes, Serge.

I want you back here at three o'clock to retake the exam.

However, if you do not fail the exam this time, I have no choice but to expel you.

Oh, principal, that's not fair, you have to give me a day to not study.

That's a good point, good point. Tomorrow morning then.

Great. All right, now that Serge has a second chance to take the test,

I'd like to explain why I failed.

-You can retake the exam too.

-Sweet!

Funny, who knew I'd be so happy to take an exam?

Check it out. I call this the pineapple smoothie

cos it's cool and sweet.

Boop. Ohh.

Nice try, Jane, but this is my winning move.

It's called the catwalk because it's fierce and meow.

Emphasis on the me-ow.

Well I, this is the, I call this the hello-copter.

Oh, you gals are so good.

Meow.

You want to see a move? I got a move, you want to see my move.

OK, it's called mad teacher. Want to see it?

You two, I order to team up. UGH!

-Fine, follow me.

-No, you follow me.

-No, you're following me.

-As if.

Serge must not... I must not be branded a cheater.

-I must fail.

-I'm sure you will, Serge.

Carl, you defended my cause against Principal Malone and, for that, I thank you.

In the future, no matter which professional sports team for which I'm engaged,

you'll be granted free admittance. My gesture of gratitude also extends to two free hotdogs

and a beverage of your choice.

Only during regular season games though.

That was really nice of him.

And surprisingly articulate.

Oh, no, he's still smart.

-Uh oh.

-Uh oh?

-We released a smarter Serge.

-But how?

OK, OK, think of Serge's brain like a river and his sports ability

was the dam that kept his intellect from flowing freely.

So the magic pencil broke the dam releasing Serge's buried intellect?

Yeah, that's why he did so well on the exam.

Turns out Serge knows things that he never knew he did.

He's about to walk into an exam that he's supposed to fail

-and his knowledge river is flowing.

-Now we're up the creek.

Do you think this is going to work?

Hopefully this junk food will make Serge less smart.

Well, junk food is the opposite of brain food so it should dumbify him.

-So, let's see if this has worked.

-Good idea. Serge, say something stupid.

Breakfast is the most critical meal of the day and this offering is far from nutritionally balanced.

He's so well spoken.

I'm still smart, and it's scaring me.

Yeah, and the exam's about to start.

All right, come on, Serge, you can show them what your brain's made of.

-It's made of mush.

-Actually all brains are made of soft tissue...

Can I get some hand sanitizer?

Ahh, no, what are you doing?

Why wouldn't you just put a little bit in my hand?

Sorry, I buy all my angel magic in bulk.

Oh, buying bulk is the most cost-efficient way

of purchasing consumables.

Oh!

Well, Carl, you did better. 3% better.

Boy, it's not your week, Carl.

How did I do? Terribly?

Oddly enough, you received not only a perfect score, but 110%!

The extra 10% for the unsolicited explanation of string theory

-on the back of the exam paper.

-I thought I was just doodling.

Serge, you failed to fail. Again.

You obviously cheated, which leaves me no choice but to expel you.

-What?

-We need more time to fix this problem with Serge.

And I think I have an idea that will postpone his expulsion

until after the basketball shootout.

Boy, that is a shame.

I mean, now that Serge is expelled I guess we're going to have

-to forfeit the shootout against Terrendale High.

-What, really?

I can't stand losing to those Tigers.

-You got to love that new hand gesture though.

-Stop.

-You are cheating Bennett High out of a much-needed victory.

-I am?

One that would give you bragging rights with all the other principals.

-Ooh-hoy!

-That settles it.

-Serge, you're unexpelled until after the shoot out.

-Yes.

-Then you're expelled again.

-No.

-But not yet, so go practise for the shootout.

-Ohh.

Angle of incidence is equal to the angle of deflection.

We just got to... just have to match them up properly,

that's all I've got to do. Oh, it double dribbled.

Come on, Serge! Maybe I got the coefficient wrong.

He's overthinking everything. It's making him a bad athlete.

The trajectory of the ball is a parabola

and the basket is 10 feet away and the shot speed x, and the upper arc of the ball y.

They should be related. They should be related!

Right now, Serge's smart side is running the show.

If it gets too strong, we'll lose the Serge we know forever.

So I'm going to give his sports side a little magical boost.

This way he'll remember who he is and his sports ability will return to full strength.

Easy.

Sorry about that, guys, I'm a little off today.

I think it's the barometric pressure.

Uncanny.

-Porter, what did you do?

-I tried to bring out Serge's sports side.

I didn't expect to split him in two.

Two Serges, yeah, way to double our problem.

-This is a rather unexpected turn of events.

-Yeah, what he said.

How long have I known you for, Porter? Don't you think

you should have these merry mix-ups ironed out by now?

You'd think. I don't know why I can't undo this.

Given the value of articulation and education

triumph over that of physicality and gamesmanship,

I'll be vastly superior to that other cretinous impostor.

Serge likes sports.

SMART SERGE CRIES

Oh, stop your crying.

No, Brittany, we're supposed to start with the stir stick and then move into the paperclip.

No, it's the ham sandwich first and then the cinnamon twist.

No, that is crazy. The cinnamon twist is a routine ender,

it comes after the tadpole slide.

Ladies and gentlemen, our final contestants. Jane and Brittany!

APPLAUSE

OK, remember it's stick, clip, ham, tadpole twist.

No, it's ham, ham, ham, stir stick, loop-de-loop. No tadpoles.

-Ladies!

-Ladies! Just, show us your move.

Stir stick. Paperclip.

Loop-de-loop. You're following me.

Stop it. No, see, you're supposed to.

I wasn't listening to her.

And she wasn't listening to me.

-And yet somehow...

-We started listening to each other.

Chaos theory. Through a series of seemingly random events,

a pattern appears! The science of dance.

Based on the overwhelming student approval,

I declare that Jane and Brittany are both co-winners!

APPLAUSE

Yeah, so we're going to use that move to stick it to Terrendale at the shootout.

Carl, I must object to being confined here with callous disregard

-for my personal sense of well being.

-Yeah, I get it, you're smart.

Listen, all we have to do is hang out here until Serge, Sports Serge,

competes in the shootout, then we'll figure out how to merge you two back together.

Serge-Merge. Sweet.

Hey, Porter, how's Serge doing in his shootout?

Bad, man, he's throwing more bricks than a construction worker.

I believe the analogy you're looking for is masonry craftsman.

OK, we've got to do something. Sports Serge is tanking out there.

-Check it out.

-Oh, man, nice picture quality.

Thanks, it's high def.

Come on, you can do this.

Here's the situation. Every minute that Sports Serge and Smart Serge are separated,

Smart Serge gets smarter and smarter.

Which means every minute, Sports Serge gets worse and worse.

Oh, I really hope Sports Serge can pull this off.

Smart Serge and Sports Serge can't exist separately.

There can only be one, and that one needs to be Sports Serge.

An ultimatum between brains and sports and you would choose sports?

Is this the message you want to send to the students of Bennett High?

In your case, yeah, I choose sports over brains.

Kids, if you can't do what Serge just did,

then you better stay in school and study.

Serge approves this message.

That's an inconsistent statement. It makes no logical sense.

Carl! Check out the screen.

Did you see that? When Smart Serge was confused,

Sports Serge got his athletic skills back for a second.

-Now we have a plan of attack.

-Oh, what a relief.

Now we can finally sort this mess out and get the real Serge back.

All we have to do is outwit Smart Serge's logic

so that Sports Serge can live.

I propose that Sports Serge is superior to you.

That's an erroneous claim.

Is it?

Because he's standing in a room right now full of people,

cheering him on, wanting him to succeed.

-Can you say the same thing?

-No, not at this exact moment.

Sports Serge is sinking shots, keep confounding Smart Serge.

Well, at this rate, I'm going to have to argue with him for a month,

-I don't have that kind of time.

-This may help.

Serge is in the zone, he's closing the gap against Terrendale.

It's because of our totally awesome crazy wave. OK, do it harder,

and less crazy, more wave.

-Cool, a Serge-surge.

-All right, let's get to the shootout.

It's a tie game. This is the final shot.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Serge won the shootout for Bennett High!

Congratulations, girls! I'm so happy.

I'm also slightly amazed that your crazy wave had the power to inspire Serge to victory.

And I just trademarked the move so Terrendale High can't steal it.

Serge, good job. Bennett High owes you.

Thanks, sir, I guess this means Serge has to be expelled now.

Yeah, I'm afraid so, Serge.

Decelerate your thought processes. In other words, not so fast.

I came up with a plausible explanation for the test scores.

You see, lately I've been trying to become more ambidextrous, grading papers with both hands.

This process was designed to save time,

but it is not as easy as I anticipated.

I must have mixed up the two exams. Carl, you actually got 110%.

All right, my reputation as a good student's restored.

But that means that Serge must have got 6%.

2% higher than I thought he'd actually get.

-Oh, what a relief. Serge you failed the exam!

-Yes!

Well, you're staying right here at Bennett High, young man,

now lets go get you a trophy.

And maybe some tutoring.

Congrats, buddy, everything's back to normal now.

Yes, what momentously wonderful news.

I, uh... Serge done good.

THEY HUM ALONG TO MUSIC

LAUGHTER

What's the capital of Europe?

LAUGHTER

I... bleh.

In the... woah.

APPLAUSE

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd