Happy Families? World's End

-YOUNG LEXI:

-Caitlin!

Caitlin! Caitlin!

No!

SHE SCREAMS

SHE GASPS

You were having a bad dream. Are you OK?

Shut up.

Lexy, I don't mean to be horrible,

but if were are actually nice to people, you might make some friends.

So what's with all the Secret Six stuff?

OK, everyone, listen up.

I saw all of your birth certificates last night, all of them.

-You were all born here.

-What?

-Wait. Why didn't my dad tell me that?

Am I being thick or is it a bit weird that our parents told us

-we were born somewhere else?

-Hang on, where did you find them?

-I didn't. Lexy had them.

-Lexy?

-Yeah.

And mine's missing. She...

-She says I'm going to disappear...

-She's just trying to freak you out.

Whatever she's doing, it still doesn't explain

why none of us were told we were born here.

-It's weird.

-It's not that weird.

All of our parents clearly knew each other when we arrived, right?

They obviously met here.

So why lie? Someone invented a whole fake background for me!

I was told my parents...

It is weird.

I think we should do some digging.

Whatever it takes to find out what's really going on around here.

These are stupid, They don't even do anything.

Are you OK?

Yeah, just...

So my parents really were here.

Ignore her.

It's not me she's looking at.

MAN BLOWS WHISTLE

Luke, you're sitting this one out.

I told you to take it easy.

Yeah. Yesterday's news. I'm over it.

Best to be safe, though, isn't it?

How about we get together later? Movie tonight?

Can't, sorry. I'm supposed to be taking it easy, remember?

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH, DOG BARKS

Hey!

Chucking a sickie?

-Over-protective parent.

-CASEY CHUCKLES

What's that?

-What, this?

-Yeah.

HE WHISTLES

It's a laser scanner.

Archaeologists use them to find buried ruins, artefacts,

that sort of stuff.

Mm. You mean like...

these?

Where did you, er, find this?

I just found it after class yesterday.

I meant to give it back, but I couldn't find you.

Yeah, I wondered where that'd got to!

Hope it wasn't something important?

-No, no.

-Right, right.

-So, what are they?

-The symbols?

No idea.

Those. Carved Stone Balls.

I know, creatively named.

Popular theory is they were left here by the Picts.

Why do you ask?

I just thought they looked interesting, that's all.

That they are!

Tell you what, if you come across any,

let me know, OK?

Yeah. For sure.

Well, what did you find out?

I'll tell you later. But I think I may have found something better

than magic coat hangers for finding the bones.

Thank you.

What do you want? I'm assuming you're not here for a virus shot.

How about a large slice of humble pie?

Luke's still freezing me out.

We've got to find a way to make this work, Steph.

-BEEPING

-Yeah. OK.

All right, but on my terms, OK?

Do you remember the time he got stuck trying to squeeze through

-the baby gate?

-Who could forget?

-Hello, boys. Come on. Come and sit down.

-What's he doing here?

Erm... Well...

we realised that you two have been through a bit of a rough time,

mainly because of our issues,

so we've decided to, um... bury the hatchet, haven't we?

Actually, we've had a bit of a laugh going over the good old days.

I thought you said there weren't any.

Ah, well, they weren't all bad.

So, come on. Come and sit down. It'll go cold.

So, who got stuck in the baby gate?

-You.

-Oh.

No, no, I think it was Noah, wasn't it?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

So it was.

He always was an inquisitive baby.

I see that hasn't changed.

-DUNCAN:

-Luke had a phase where he'd only eat things that were yellow,

do you remember?

-STEPHANIE:

-Bananas and custard.

I was sick of the smell of it. Still am a bit.

Where are the photos?

What photos?

The photos of when we were babies.

-Well, you've seen them, haven't you?

-No.

You've only ever shown us photos of when we were older.

What about ones of when we were newborns?

Er...

I think they probably got lost...

when Duncan and I split up, or...

So you've got them? Can we see them?

You could, but, erm,

they must have got thrown out after I moved.

You threw out the only photos you had of your own kids?

No, not threw out.

They just got lost.

What, like my birth certificate?

Just stop with the lies, OK?

I've seen the birth certificates and we know we were born here.

Why didn't anyone tell us?

I thought I did tell you.

More to the point, why has Lena got the birth certificates?

Why don't YOU have them?

Well, that's just...military procedure. We keep them safe.

Why's mine missing? That kind of defeats the point, don't you think?

Unless...

Unless there's something you're NOT telling us.

Look, it's just... I...

Look, it's...

There's nothing going on, Noah, OK.

-It would've been misplaced, that's all. It's just a mistake.

-Really?

BEEP

BEEP

BEEPING

Why would Casey be taking a laser scanner to the Tower Room?

BEEPING

DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE

Hey.

Me and the others are going to go to the cave

and try to find Alice and Henry's bones.

You want to join us?

You might want to play that back.

Not exactly selling it.

Knock, knock.

My birth certificate?

Where was it?

Filed away with some other confidential papers.

Easily overlooked.

So can we please just move on from this?

Wait, what about the baby photos?

Not much I can do about those, I'm afraid, sweetheart.

Well...I'm hitting the shower.

NOAH BLOWS A RASPBERRY

Hey!

-So Casey just left THIS in the Tower Room?

-Mm-hm. Result, huh?

Slim swotted up on how to use it.

We are so going to find these bones.

O-o-or not.

-Battery's dead.

-What?

Slim!

-OK, guys, mission abort.

-Huh?

Well, I'm not going to wander around all night with a coat hanger.

COAT HANGER TINKLES

-Wait!

-Yeah, funny.

I'm not doing anything. Honestly.

-LOUD SCREECHING ALL:

-Argh!

SCREECHING STOPS

What was that?

-LOUD SCREECHING ALL:

-Argh!

SCREECHING STOPS

Sounds like something REALLY doesn't want to be dug up after all.

Now it's time for mission abort. Big time.

-Go, go, go! Go!

-Go, go, go, go. GO!

Quick, Gaia, get out of my way! AJ, move!

-Ow!

-Slim!

Who said you could just let yourself in?

I... I can go anywhere in the castle. I own it.

Your family does.

You can't just let yourself into other people's quarters

whenever you feel like it. What's that? Are you evicting me?

No. They're my old clothes.

Totally last season, but I thought you might want them.

Why? Because of my "low rent low-tops"?

Oh, it's not just your shoes.

You look like you shop at Can'tDress.com.

Did she seriously just say that?

OK, Lexy, I think it's time for you to leave.

I was just being friendly.

No. This is friendly. You might want to put the birth certificates back

before your mum finds out. Oh...

and whatever psych out you were planning by showing me them...

didn't work.

DOOR SLAMS

Thank you for sorting that.

Who'd have thought a missing birth certificate would cause such a stir?

-You know, Lena should be told about this.

-Oh, no, Duncan, please.

Please. Don't you think the kids have been through enough?

Thank you.

Looks like they vanished into thin air.

-What?

-Something just touched my hair.

What? What was it?

I don't know. It just...touched my hair.

It's probably just a draught.

Pass me that shovel.

-What is that?

-I don't know.

SHOVEL SCRAPES

DOOR HINGE SQUEAKS

I think it's some kind of ventilation system.

CLATTERING

Stop right there!

Busted.

I don't think the ghosts of kids

would make a screeching noise like that.

It sounded really nasty.

Like...an evil spirit leaking out of the cave.

GROWLING

Ah! It's coming for us!

No, that was my stomach. I'm starving.

Why is there never any food in this place when you need it?

-So go to the mess.

-No, you're all right.

I'm not that starving!

Chicken.

Am not.

AJ MAKES A CLUCKING SOUND

PIPES CLATTER

Hang on! I'm suddenly really hungry, too!

A slightly dirtier den than I'd choose.

And the artwork's not up to much.

Any of it.

You know stalking's a crime?

Is this where you think your parents disappeared?

Why? You remember something?

-No. Why? Do you?

-No.

OK, I'll cut you a deal.

You let me hang out with you

and I won't tell my mum about you sneaking around.

That's blackmail.

So...?

-(Get the light switch.

-I don't know where it is.)

-TORCH FIZZLES

-No. No. No, not now!

-Why didn't you check the batteries?

-(I didn't think I needed to!)

OK, well, that's me out of here.

(AJ! AJ!)

(Keep it together, Slim. Keep it together.)

(Who's chicken now, AJ?)

(I'm the king of calm.)

SLIM WHIMPERS