Episode 4 Worst Year of My Life... Again

# I'm amazed at the things that you say

# I'd heard it all before just another day

# January, February, all the same

# March, April, May's coming back again

# No way

# Cos it's the worst year of my life again

# It's looped around and pulled me back in now

# Yesterday has come again, oh, no

# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

# The worst year of my life again. #

ALARM CLOCK BUZZES

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

April Fools. Best day of the year.

Interesting.

Hey, Hannah!

Hello?

'Over here, sweetheart.'

Where are you?

'This way.'

I can't see you.

'Big Hannah!'

Stop it!

Hannah's an easy target. Doesn't count. Remember last year?

Alice Nguyen with the cream pie in assembly? Crowd goes wild?

-Well, that's going to be me today.

-Getting a pie in the face?

No, being the king of pranks.

Boys, boys. That's just violence.

It's April Fools Day. Show some respect for the occasion.

Better. But not as good as...

UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS

I thought you said it was crazy hair and casual clothes today?

April Fools!

-What is that?

-That's my prank dance.

What do you reckon, eh? Pretty funny stuff.

It would have been funny if he was carrying a cat.

See, your problem is, Maddy, you don't have a sense of humour.

Never mind, old mate.

By the end of the day you are going to be best friends

with the most popular guy in school.

Simon Birch. Invincible!

Yeah, yeah, you're a genius.

But if Norris sees me out of uniform, I'll get a detention for sure.

LAUGHTER

That's it. I'm not falling for any more pranks!

Looks like I have competition.

BELL RINGS

Here.

I got you...

a spare uniform.

-With Plank Head or something sewn on the back, I bet?

-Oh, please!

Who'd be stupid enough to fall for that?

You know what happens if you get caught out of uniform. You go.

I'll watch for Norris.

-And I'll watch for magpies.

-Magpies?

They can swoop.

These images are rather inappropriate

but curriculum IS curriculum.

-Norris! Norris!

-What?

Hide through here.

..experiences and the changes that happen throughout puberty.

GIRLS SHRIEK AND GIGGLE

Oh my goodness!

SHE WHISTLES

Felicity, turn on the lights at once. Thank you.

-Is that supposed to be some sort of fashion statement?

-Nice one, Alex!

Oh, for goodness' sake!

Oh, my goodness! Oh!

Class dismissed. Out you go, all of you.

-I love April Fools.

-Best class ever.

Alex King pranked the teacher. That was pretty funny.

-What a crack up.

-Hysterical.

Alex King, leave my class immediately!

Ladies and gentlemen, my partner-in-crime, Mr Alex King.

Couldn't have done it without him. He deserves a badge.

-King of Prawns?

-Pranks. It says pranks.

-The N looks like a W.

-No, it doesn't. Shut up.

This is about profile building,

helping people understand what an amazing prankster I am.

Simon Birch, King of the Prawns...the Pranks!

Missed, Parker.

-Wait for it.

-Oh.

Rotten. Um, nice touch.

OK, I'm going to leave you guys with that.

I will see you after footy training.

That is it. I am not going to get pranked any more.

Didn't you just say that,

before Simon pranked you into being semi-nude

in front of an all-girls Human Development class?

Yes, but that was last time. You know what I'm going to do?

-Be the bigger man? Rise above it all and keep your dignity?

-Exactly.

No! No, I'm going to get my prank on.

BELL RINGS

'Big Hannah!'

Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Walkie-talkie in the backpack.

Doesn't count as a prank though...apparently.

Simon is right about one thing.

A good prank means popularity and popularity means getting noticed.

By Nicola Grey, I suppose?

I never said that.

But, yes.

You know Simon doesn't actually go to footy training, don't you, Mads?

He's actually playing Fantasy Wizard Wars in the IT room.

When he comes out, he pretends to be exhausted and thirsty,

-which is where our little friend comes in.

-Me?

The tap.

He's going to get a surprise, if you catch my...

He's coming!

-Tough session today.

-Yeah.

Hydration is really important after a work-out like that.

-You should have a drink.

-I should.

The secret to my footy performance is in my recovery.

It's just as important as my work on the track.

What are you doing?

Getting a drink.

You should just get it from the tap.

Oh, please. Never, EVER trust a tap on April Fools Day, Alex.

Someone will have rigged it.

Someone will have rigged it and that was me. I rigged the water fountain!

What?

You've blown it, Alex King.

Ha-ha! Everyone look, it's... it's April Fools!

It's...

You appreciate a good joke, right, Loren? It's...

-Tell Nicola how hilarious I am?

-Prank prevention.

LAUGHTER

Why don't YOU ever get pranked?

People respect my authority.

You made that yourself! Shhh!

Jealousy, Alex. It isn't pretty.

Simon got lucky with the taps, but when this classic comes off,

the bell will ring, the whole school will come out,

and everyone will be cheering me, including Nicola.

What if Simon doesn't turn up?

We can't get out now.

We'll be stuck in here all night.

Just the two of us.

Nowhere to go, cut off from the world, living on our wits.

-Or I could take the trap down.

-Oh.

Anyway, Simon'll come. I texted him.

-Hey.

-Simon, there you are. Come in here.

I have this great idea for this new prank.

I think the time for pranks is somewhat over now.

-Simon, what's wrong?

-It's Mr Norris.

-Is he coming?

-There's been a tragic accident.

-What?

He was on yard duty, just eating a sandwich.

-That's when it got him.

-Magpies?

Worse. Toilet water, ejected from a passing plane.

It froze as it fell and grew and grew

until it was the size of a small horse.

Then, boof, squashed him flat as a pancake.

We've all got to go to the hall. Come on.

That is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard.

I'm not going anywhere.

When did you turn into such a monster? See, Nicola was right.

-You don't care about anyone else.

-Nicola said that about me?

See? It's all about you.

Could you just put your own selfishness on hold for two minutes

to go and show some respect?

Selfish? I'm the one that's selfi...

April Fools!

I made the whole thing up.

Honestly, Alex, you really need to be more careful today.

At least no-one saw.

BELL RINGS

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

It just came to me. I guess you could call it inspiration.

-Let's just get home before it gets any worse.

-Ah, King.

School uniform beneath you, is it?

I'll see you in detention, tomorrow.

Glad to see they unflattened you, sir.

-It's April Fools.

-But why can't we have October Fools Day?

-Because there's no such thing.

-Exactly. Nobody would suspect it.

Hey, Alex. Nicola loved your undies prank this morning.

She said she'd be at the juice bar after school

if you wanted to meet up.

As if I'm going to fall for that.

Actually, I did hear Nicola say she thought you were really funny.

-She did?

-Yeah, so maybe you can...

Bye!

-He fell for it.

-Perfect.

That'll teach him to soak me. Ruined my mascara.

ALARM CLOCK BUZZES

Remember, it's casual clothes and crazy hair day today.

'Yeah, I know, I got the e-mail and the reminder text.'

-You did?

-'Yeah.'

Morning!

Life-saver.

Always got your back, buddy.

-Alex, I did it. Now you owe me one.

-I know I do.

Yoghurt?

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

April Fools. Best day of the year.

-Oh!

-Hello!

And that's just the beginning.

By the end of the day,

everyone's going to know that I'm the hero prankster in this school.

LAUGHTER

What a freak!

April Fools!

You stole my prank. How did...

Loop year. So unfair!

That wasn't even a prank!

Alex, I don't think the universe wanted you to use your loop year

to prank Simon.

Yeah, it wanted you to use it to prank people who aren't me.

Nah. I reckon the universe enjoys a good laugh as much as I do.

Your problem, Maddy, is that you don't have a sense of humour.

I do so have a sense of humour.

I'll believe it when I see it.

What are you doing?

Nice try, Stew.

Ah, watch out for Norris. And magpies.

-No, no, not on April Fools Day.

-What choice do you have?

HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK

What is that?!

It's a cough, sorry.

-Right, if you say so. Does it fit?

-I suppose.

Hurry up.

-All right, plank head?

-What'd you call me?

-How's it going, plank head?

-Who are you calling plank head?

What are you getting so upset about, plank head?

What's going on here?

Simon, your jumper. Jumper.

No-one does that joke any more. It's antique.

Yeah, and who'd be dumb enough to fall for it, eh, Simon?

April Fools! Thank you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE

What's that for?

Now, THAT is what the loop year should be used for.

Protecting me from pranks.

Get out of the way, plank head.

-Not wearing the jumper any more.

-What jumper?

April Fool!

It's a shoe.

A LEFT shoe.

And you said I had no sense of humour.

Yeah, it's not really a prank.

I'll show you a prank.

You're such a good friend sometimes.

Right, ready to go?

OK, this recipe,

rather inappropriate I think, but curriculum is curriculum,

now needs icing.

No pranks so far.

Add some water.

Oh, my goodness! Oh, what's happened?

Bicarbonate of soda and vinegar. Classic.

I've seen better.

Stop doing that.

LAUGHTER

I don't think it's going to stop.

Class is cancelled! Ooh!

-I love April Fools.

-Best class ever!

Just you wait, girls.

This is it, Maddy. For once, the loop year's being my friend.

The bell will go and everyone will come out and they'll cheer me.

By everyone, you mean Nicola Grey?

I never said that, but, yes.

It just exploded! I couldn't stop it!

Alex King pranked the teacher. That's pretty funny.

-What a crack up.

-Hysterical.

-Give me the badge.

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-Quickly!

You deserve this. Hitting tennis balls at people? You're a genius!

Howe!

I know! King of Prawns!

-Pranks. It says pranks.

-Really?

-The N looks like a W.

-No, it doesn't. Shut up.

Howe!

Howe!

You are in so much trouble!

So, if it's not your bat, why does it have the word Howe on it?

This is not what the loop year's for.

Who are you to say what the loop year's for?

Last time, you tricked me into winding up naked

-in front of the all-girls sex ed class.

-Did I?

-Did everyone love me?

-All I'm trying to do is set things right.

No, you're not. You're using the inside knowledge

of the space time continuum to get ahead.

So what if I am?

What's wrong with everyone cheering me for once instead of him?

I got cheered? Hang on, you're taking my cheers.

It's not right, Alex. You're turning into him.

Cocky, selfish and mean.

I wouldn't say I was mean.

You need to lighten up.

# Invincible the day. #

Who sings like that? It's not even a proper tune.

He's out of control. You know what you need to do.

I know, I know, rise above it, be the bigger man, keep my dignity.

No.

You're going to get your prank on.

Yeah!

He's on his way.

Isn't there footy training on?

Ah, no, no.

I, um, I was carrying them a bit,

so I let them train without me so they can develop their leadership.

Will you be gracing the Goblin's Foundry with your magicks

this luncheon day, O' Groldmere, the Grone?

No. Go away.

I don't know who that is.

He's coming, he's coming.

Simon, Simon, Simon. Really?

Oh, that is unfair.

Shouldn't the universe be punishing him or something?

He's using his knowledge to ruin my pranks! Shhh!

Jealousy, Simon. It's not pretty.

And remember, you're not just talking to the new king of pranks,

you're also talking to the invincible king of the loop year.

And this king is just a little too smart to be setting off tripwires.

No, but you're certainly stupid enough to stand under the bucket!

I got him! I mean, I had to set it off myself, but that still counts.

-That still counts.

-I never said it didn't.

At least it's just water.

Last time round you got me with green slime, so I'm still one up.

-Slime, that would have been great.

-I'm still sopping wet.

-Oh.

-There you go.

-Where did you get these?

Lost property.

Oh, when would I have time to make up a prank uniform?

Norris! Norris!

-Let me guess, a block of ice fell on his head.

-What?

Orchestra, I hope you're in your places and you're tuned up!

Hide through there!

ORCHESTRA TUNES UP

OK, quiet now and ready to go...

King?

King!

-King, surrender now.

-Simon!

-King.

-Simon!

King, what are you...

King, King! Come back here now!

King, I'm warning you!

King! Don't move a muscle!

When I get my hands on you! King!

Did I stay stop? Play on!

LAUGHTER

-Is that some sort of fashion statement?

-Nice, one Alex!

Ladies and gentlemen, my partner-in-crime, Mr Alex King.

Couldn't have done it without him.

APPLAUSE

They love me.

I don't know what to say.

I guess I'd better thank my parents,

and if I've got any advice for any of you younger pranksters out there...

Never trust a tap on April Fools Day.

LAUGHTER

Great day. A classic.

Though I was surprised to get the bucket of water away at the end.

Were you?

Well, yeah, it's not every day that a classic prank like that

just lands in your lap.

I actually thought you were developing as a prankster.

Good team, though, you and me.

Prankster and prankee.

The crowd loves us. Well, me mainly.

Well done. I know it's important to you.

Gosh, I've got to go,

to go and do things completely unrelated to wizardry.

-Got a bit cocky there, didn't I? Abused the loop year.

-Yep.

Yeah, pranking's not really my thing anyway.

That's not a bad thing.

Oh, I got you a present.

It's a book.

With a comb in it.

A comb in a book!

How is that funny?

Why don't we laugh at the same things any more?

Remember that holiday when we saw that shoe

and we laughed about it every day?

You don't laugh at that stuff much now.

Oh, oh, it's a comb in a book.

I get it now. You're a genius.

-Hey, Alex, Nicola loved your stink bomb this morning.

-Really?

She'll be waiting at the juice bar after school if you want to meet up.

Thanks.

You should go.

No, it doesn't end well. Been there before.

Actually, I did hear Nicola say she thought you were really funny.

So maybe the universe is doing something nice for you for once.

How about we just do something? See if we can't find another shoe.

Do you really think it could happen twice in one lifetime?

You never know.

You've blown it, Alex King.

Yeah, yeah, you're a genius. But if Lawrence...

HE LAUGHS

Keep rolling, here we go, please.

Great day. A classic.

THEY GIGGLE

Last time round, Simon tricked me into winding up...

THEY LAUGH