Episode 4 Worst Year of My Life... Again


Episode 4

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Transcript


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# I'm amazed at the things that you say

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# I'd heard it all before just another day

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# January, February, all the same

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# March, April, May's coming back again

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# No way

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# Cos it's the worst year of my life again

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# It's looped around and pulled me back in now

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# Yesterday has come again, oh, no

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# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

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# The worst year of my life again. #

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ALARM CLOCK BUZZES

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SCHOOL BELL RINGS

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April Fools. Best day of the year.

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Interesting.

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Hey, Hannah!

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Hello?

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'Over here, sweetheart.'

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Where are you?

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'This way.'

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I can't see you.

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'Big Hannah!'

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Stop it!

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Hannah's an easy target. Doesn't count. Remember last year?

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Alice Nguyen with the cream pie in assembly? Crowd goes wild?

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-Well, that's going to be me today.

-Getting a pie in the face?

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No, being the king of pranks.

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Boys, boys. That's just violence.

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It's April Fools Day. Show some respect for the occasion.

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Better. But not as good as...

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UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS

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I thought you said it was crazy hair and casual clothes today?

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April Fools!

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-What is that?

-That's my prank dance.

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What do you reckon, eh? Pretty funny stuff.

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It would have been funny if he was carrying a cat.

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See, your problem is, Maddy, you don't have a sense of humour.

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Never mind, old mate.

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By the end of the day you are going to be best friends

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with the most popular guy in school.

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Simon Birch. Invincible!

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Yeah, yeah, you're a genius.

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But if Norris sees me out of uniform, I'll get a detention for sure.

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LAUGHTER

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That's it. I'm not falling for any more pranks!

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Looks like I have competition.

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BELL RINGS

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Here.

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I got you...

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a spare uniform.

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-With Plank Head or something sewn on the back, I bet?

-Oh, please!

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Who'd be stupid enough to fall for that?

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You know what happens if you get caught out of uniform. You go.

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I'll watch for Norris.

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-And I'll watch for magpies.

-Magpies?

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They can swoop.

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These images are rather inappropriate

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but curriculum IS curriculum.

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-Norris! Norris!

-What?

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Hide through here.

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..experiences and the changes that happen throughout puberty.

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GIRLS SHRIEK AND GIGGLE

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Oh my goodness!

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SHE WHISTLES

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Felicity, turn on the lights at once. Thank you.

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-Is that supposed to be some sort of fashion statement?

-Nice one, Alex!

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Oh, for goodness' sake!

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Oh, my goodness! Oh!

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Class dismissed. Out you go, all of you.

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-I love April Fools.

-Best class ever.

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Alex King pranked the teacher. That was pretty funny.

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-What a crack up.

-Hysterical.

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Alex King, leave my class immediately!

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Ladies and gentlemen, my partner-in-crime, Mr Alex King.

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Couldn't have done it without him. He deserves a badge.

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-King of Prawns?

-Pranks. It says pranks.

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-The N looks like a W.

-No, it doesn't. Shut up.

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This is about profile building,

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helping people understand what an amazing prankster I am.

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Simon Birch, King of the Prawns...the Pranks!

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Missed, Parker.

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-Wait for it.

-Oh.

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Rotten. Um, nice touch.

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OK, I'm going to leave you guys with that.

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I will see you after footy training.

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That is it. I am not going to get pranked any more.

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Didn't you just say that,

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before Simon pranked you into being semi-nude

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in front of an all-girls Human Development class?

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Yes, but that was last time. You know what I'm going to do?

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-Be the bigger man? Rise above it all and keep your dignity?

-Exactly.

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No! No, I'm going to get my prank on.

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BELL RINGS

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'Big Hannah!'

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Stop it, stop it, stop it!

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Walkie-talkie in the backpack.

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Doesn't count as a prank though...apparently.

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Simon is right about one thing.

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A good prank means popularity and popularity means getting noticed.

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By Nicola Grey, I suppose?

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I never said that.

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But, yes.

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You know Simon doesn't actually go to footy training, don't you, Mads?

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He's actually playing Fantasy Wizard Wars in the IT room.

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When he comes out, he pretends to be exhausted and thirsty,

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-which is where our little friend comes in.

-Me?

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The tap.

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He's going to get a surprise, if you catch my...

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He's coming!

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-Tough session today.

-Yeah.

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Hydration is really important after a work-out like that.

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-You should have a drink.

-I should.

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The secret to my footy performance is in my recovery.

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It's just as important as my work on the track.

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What are you doing?

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Getting a drink.

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You should just get it from the tap.

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Oh, please. Never, EVER trust a tap on April Fools Day, Alex.

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Someone will have rigged it.

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Someone will have rigged it and that was me. I rigged the water fountain!

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What?

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You've blown it, Alex King.

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Ha-ha! Everyone look, it's... it's April Fools!

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It's...

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You appreciate a good joke, right, Loren? It's...

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-Tell Nicola how hilarious I am?

-Prank prevention.

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LAUGHTER

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Why don't YOU ever get pranked?

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People respect my authority.

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You made that yourself! Shhh!

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Jealousy, Alex. It isn't pretty.

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Simon got lucky with the taps, but when this classic comes off,

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the bell will ring, the whole school will come out,

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and everyone will be cheering me, including Nicola.

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What if Simon doesn't turn up?

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We can't get out now.

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We'll be stuck in here all night.

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Just the two of us.

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Nowhere to go, cut off from the world, living on our wits.

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-Or I could take the trap down.

-Oh.

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Anyway, Simon'll come. I texted him.

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-Hey.

-Simon, there you are. Come in here.

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I have this great idea for this new prank.

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I think the time for pranks is somewhat over now.

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-Simon, what's wrong?

-It's Mr Norris.

-Is he coming?

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-There's been a tragic accident.

-What?

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He was on yard duty, just eating a sandwich.

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-That's when it got him.

-Magpies?

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Worse. Toilet water, ejected from a passing plane.

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It froze as it fell and grew and grew

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until it was the size of a small horse.

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Then, boof, squashed him flat as a pancake.

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We've all got to go to the hall. Come on.

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That is the stupidest thing that I have ever heard.

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I'm not going anywhere.

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When did you turn into such a monster? See, Nicola was right.

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-You don't care about anyone else.

-Nicola said that about me?

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See? It's all about you.

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Could you just put your own selfishness on hold for two minutes

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to go and show some respect?

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Selfish? I'm the one that's selfi...

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April Fools!

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I made the whole thing up.

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Honestly, Alex, you really need to be more careful today.

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At least no-one saw.

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BELL RINGS

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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It just came to me. I guess you could call it inspiration.

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-Let's just get home before it gets any worse.

-Ah, King.

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School uniform beneath you, is it?

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I'll see you in detention, tomorrow.

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Glad to see they unflattened you, sir.

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-It's April Fools.

-But why can't we have October Fools Day?

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-Because there's no such thing.

-Exactly. Nobody would suspect it.

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Hey, Alex. Nicola loved your undies prank this morning.

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She said she'd be at the juice bar after school

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if you wanted to meet up.

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As if I'm going to fall for that.

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Actually, I did hear Nicola say she thought you were really funny.

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-She did?

-Yeah, so maybe you can...

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Bye!

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-He fell for it.

-Perfect.

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That'll teach him to soak me. Ruined my mascara.

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ALARM CLOCK BUZZES

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Remember, it's casual clothes and crazy hair day today.

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'Yeah, I know, I got the e-mail and the reminder text.'

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-You did?

-'Yeah.'

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Morning!

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Life-saver.

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Always got your back, buddy.

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-Alex, I did it. Now you owe me one.

-I know I do.

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Yoghurt?

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SCHOOL BELL RINGS

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April Fools. Best day of the year.

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-Oh!

-Hello!

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And that's just the beginning.

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By the end of the day,

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everyone's going to know that I'm the hero prankster in this school.

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LAUGHTER

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What a freak!

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April Fools!

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You stole my prank. How did...

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Loop year. So unfair!

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That wasn't even a prank!

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Alex, I don't think the universe wanted you to use your loop year

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to prank Simon.

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Yeah, it wanted you to use it to prank people who aren't me.

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Nah. I reckon the universe enjoys a good laugh as much as I do.

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Your problem, Maddy, is that you don't have a sense of humour.

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I do so have a sense of humour.

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I'll believe it when I see it.

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What are you doing?

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Nice try, Stew.

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Ah, watch out for Norris. And magpies.

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-No, no, not on April Fools Day.

-What choice do you have?

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HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK

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What is that?!

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It's a cough, sorry.

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-Right, if you say so. Does it fit?

-I suppose.

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Hurry up.

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-All right, plank head?

-What'd you call me?

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-How's it going, plank head?

-Who are you calling plank head?

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What are you getting so upset about, plank head?

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What's going on here?

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Simon, your jumper. Jumper.

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No-one does that joke any more. It's antique.

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Yeah, and who'd be dumb enough to fall for it, eh, Simon?

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April Fools! Thank you. Thank you.

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APPLAUSE

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What's that for?

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Now, THAT is what the loop year should be used for.

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Protecting me from pranks.

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Get out of the way, plank head.

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-Not wearing the jumper any more.

-What jumper?

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April Fool!

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It's a shoe.

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A LEFT shoe.

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And you said I had no sense of humour.

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Yeah, it's not really a prank.

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I'll show you a prank.

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You're such a good friend sometimes.

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Right, ready to go?

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OK, this recipe,

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rather inappropriate I think, but curriculum is curriculum,

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now needs icing.

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No pranks so far.

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Add some water.

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Oh, my goodness! Oh, what's happened?

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Bicarbonate of soda and vinegar. Classic.

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I've seen better.

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Stop doing that.

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LAUGHTER

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I don't think it's going to stop.

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Class is cancelled! Ooh!

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-I love April Fools.

-Best class ever!

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Just you wait, girls.

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This is it, Maddy. For once, the loop year's being my friend.

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The bell will go and everyone will come out and they'll cheer me.

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By everyone, you mean Nicola Grey?

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I never said that, but, yes.

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It just exploded! I couldn't stop it!

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Alex King pranked the teacher. That's pretty funny.

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-What a crack up.

-Hysterical.

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-Give me the badge.

-I don't know what you're talking about.

-Quickly!

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You deserve this. Hitting tennis balls at people? You're a genius!

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Howe!

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I know! King of Prawns!

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-Pranks. It says pranks.

-Really?

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-The N looks like a W.

-No, it doesn't. Shut up.

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Howe!

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Howe!

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You are in so much trouble!

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So, if it's not your bat, why does it have the word Howe on it?

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This is not what the loop year's for.

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Who are you to say what the loop year's for?

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Last time, you tricked me into winding up naked

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-in front of the all-girls sex ed class.

-Did I?

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-Did everyone love me?

-All I'm trying to do is set things right.

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No, you're not. You're using the inside knowledge

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of the space time continuum to get ahead.

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So what if I am?

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What's wrong with everyone cheering me for once instead of him?

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I got cheered? Hang on, you're taking my cheers.

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It's not right, Alex. You're turning into him.

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Cocky, selfish and mean.

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I wouldn't say I was mean.

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You need to lighten up.

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# Invincible the day. #

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Who sings like that? It's not even a proper tune.

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He's out of control. You know what you need to do.

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I know, I know, rise above it, be the bigger man, keep my dignity.

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No.

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You're going to get your prank on.

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Yeah!

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He's on his way.

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Isn't there footy training on?

0:18:440:18:46

Ah, no, no.

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I, um, I was carrying them a bit,

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so I let them train without me so they can develop their leadership.

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Will you be gracing the Goblin's Foundry with your magicks

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this luncheon day, O' Groldmere, the Grone?

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No. Go away.

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I don't know who that is.

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He's coming, he's coming.

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Simon, Simon, Simon. Really?

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Oh, that is unfair.

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Shouldn't the universe be punishing him or something?

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He's using his knowledge to ruin my pranks! Shhh!

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Jealousy, Simon. It's not pretty.

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And remember, you're not just talking to the new king of pranks,

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you're also talking to the invincible king of the loop year.

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And this king is just a little too smart to be setting off tripwires.

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No, but you're certainly stupid enough to stand under the bucket!

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I got him! I mean, I had to set it off myself, but that still counts.

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-That still counts.

-I never said it didn't.

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At least it's just water.

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Last time round you got me with green slime, so I'm still one up.

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-Slime, that would have been great.

-I'm still sopping wet.

-Oh.

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-There you go.

-Where did you get these?

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Lost property.

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Oh, when would I have time to make up a prank uniform?

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Norris! Norris!

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-Let me guess, a block of ice fell on his head.

-What?

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Orchestra, I hope you're in your places and you're tuned up!

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Hide through there!

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ORCHESTRA TUNES UP

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OK, quiet now and ready to go...

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King?

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King!

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-King, surrender now.

-Simon!

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-King.

-Simon!

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King, what are you...

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King, King! Come back here now!

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King, I'm warning you!

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King! Don't move a muscle!

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When I get my hands on you! King!

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Did I stay stop? Play on!

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LAUGHTER

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-Is that some sort of fashion statement?

-Nice, one Alex!

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Ladies and gentlemen, my partner-in-crime, Mr Alex King.

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Couldn't have done it without him.

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APPLAUSE

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They love me.

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I don't know what to say.

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I guess I'd better thank my parents,

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and if I've got any advice for any of you younger pranksters out there...

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Never trust a tap on April Fools Day.

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LAUGHTER

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Great day. A classic.

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Though I was surprised to get the bucket of water away at the end.

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Were you?

0:22:120:22:13

Well, yeah, it's not every day that a classic prank like that

0:22:130:22:16

just lands in your lap.

0:22:160:22:18

I actually thought you were developing as a prankster.

0:22:180:22:21

Good team, though, you and me.

0:22:210:22:23

Prankster and prankee.

0:22:230:22:26

The crowd loves us. Well, me mainly.

0:22:260:22:29

Well done. I know it's important to you.

0:22:290:22:32

Gosh, I've got to go,

0:22:340:22:35

to go and do things completely unrelated to wizardry.

0:22:350:22:39

-Got a bit cocky there, didn't I? Abused the loop year.

-Yep.

0:22:400:22:44

Yeah, pranking's not really my thing anyway.

0:22:450:22:48

That's not a bad thing.

0:22:480:22:50

Oh, I got you a present.

0:22:500:22:52

It's a book.

0:22:550:22:56

With a comb in it.

0:22:560:22:58

A comb in a book!

0:22:580:23:00

How is that funny?

0:23:000:23:02

Why don't we laugh at the same things any more?

0:23:020:23:05

Remember that holiday when we saw that shoe

0:23:050:23:08

and we laughed about it every day?

0:23:080:23:10

You don't laugh at that stuff much now.

0:23:100:23:13

Oh, oh, it's a comb in a book.

0:23:130:23:16

I get it now. You're a genius.

0:23:160:23:18

-Hey, Alex, Nicola loved your stink bomb this morning.

-Really?

0:23:200:23:23

She'll be waiting at the juice bar after school if you want to meet up.

0:23:230:23:26

Thanks.

0:23:260:23:28

You should go.

0:23:290:23:31

No, it doesn't end well. Been there before.

0:23:310:23:34

Actually, I did hear Nicola say she thought you were really funny.

0:23:340:23:37

So maybe the universe is doing something nice for you for once.

0:23:370:23:40

How about we just do something? See if we can't find another shoe.

0:23:400:23:44

Do you really think it could happen twice in one lifetime?

0:23:440:23:46

You never know.

0:23:460:23:49

You've blown it, Alex King.

0:23:580:24:01

Yeah, yeah, you're a genius. But if Lawrence...

0:24:040:24:07

HE LAUGHS

0:24:070:24:09

Keep rolling, here we go, please.

0:24:090:24:11

Great day. A classic.

0:24:110:24:14

THEY GIGGLE

0:24:140:24:17

Last time round, Simon tricked me into winding up...

0:24:190:24:22

THEY LAUGH

0:24:220:24:25

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