The Yanks Are Coming Young Dracula
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
HORSES NEIGH PEOPLE SCREAM | 0:00:14 | 0:00:17 | |
EVIL LAUGHTER | 0:00:17 | 0:00:19 | |
-A good night's slaughter, little brother! -75 peasants. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:22 | |
HE BURPS And I haven't finished yet! | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
-Bravo! -I got myself a takeaway! | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
HE WHIMPERS | 0:00:30 | 0:00:31 | |
WILD LAUGHTER | 0:00:31 | 0:00:34 | |
I can't wait to see that brother of mine. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:40 | |
He's been in America for far too long. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
And I bet his children know what real evil is. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:45 | |
That's because THEIR dad's a real vampire. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
Dad, you will behave yourself when Uncle Ivan gets here? | 0:00:48 | 0:00:52 | |
Remember, no peasant-hunting. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
Oh, no, Vlad. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:56 | |
The moment Ivan arrives we're going to paint this town very, very red! | 0:00:56 | 0:01:03 | |
WILD LAUGHTER | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
Maybe I should tell Mum to give bingo a miss. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
What are we going to do, Robin? | 0:01:09 | 0:01:11 | |
They'll rip the throats out of half of Stokely...tonight! | 0:01:11 | 0:01:15 | |
Maybe Ivan's changed. My dad was a right nutter when he was younger. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:20 | |
Your dad? | 0:01:20 | 0:01:21 | |
Yeah! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
Mum says his library books were always overdue. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
I'm afraid you're clutching at straws. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
Even now, my stuffing runs cold thinking of Ivan, and his cruelty. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:35 | |
Saturdays were the worst. | 0:01:35 | 0:01:39 | |
That was the "throw the hellhounds off the battlements" day. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:44 | |
I don't know why we're getting dressed up. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
My cousins will think I'm a real geek. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
Oh, very funny! | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
EERIE NOISE | 0:01:52 | 0:01:54 | |
What just happened? | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
It's the castle playing tricks. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
Once Dad's lived somewhere a while, it takes on his evil personality. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:02 | |
Vladimir! | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
I've got to go. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
Ah! ROARING | 0:02:11 | 0:02:14 | |
Don't start with me, all right? | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
ROAR! | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
SNORING | 0:02:21 | 0:02:23 | |
Aaargh! | 0:02:32 | 0:02:34 | |
Jonno! I've told you never to wake me like that! | 0:02:34 | 0:02:39 | |
There's something's going on up at the castle. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
Go on. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
I don't know. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
Dad, I can sense it. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
Here. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
Like a twisted feeling? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
You know what this means? | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
We shouldn't have eaten the Chinese? | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
No, you've got IT! | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
The slayer's instinct! It's... | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
It's what separates the great ones from the rest. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:11 | |
Jonno, I'm proud of you, son! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:16 | |
Hope it's not just wind. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
HE BREAKS WIND | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
OWL HOOTS | 0:03:24 | 0:03:25 | |
Well, he's Ivan the Terrible all right. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:28 | |
Ivan the Terrible Time Keeper! Where is he? | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
Evil as great as his cannot be hurried. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
Perhaps he's decided not to come. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
-Bournemouth's nice this time of year. -Silence! | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
SNIFFING | 0:03:40 | 0:03:41 | |
He approaches. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
FIZZING | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
Children, prepare to meet your uncle. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:57 | |
Ivan the Bloodthirsty, | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
Devourer of Souls and Black-hearted Butcher of... | 0:04:00 | 0:04:05 | |
Yo, big bro! Come and give me a hug! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:09 | |
Ivan? | 0:04:14 | 0:04:15 | |
The name's Harvey now. Ivan's so... | 0:04:15 | 0:04:18 | |
old country. Don't you think? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:21 | |
But you're different... You've got a suntan! | 0:04:21 | 0:04:24 | |
It's out of a bottle, | 0:04:24 | 0:04:26 | |
but it gets rid of that pasty look Mom and Pop were so fond of. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:29 | |
You should try some. | 0:04:29 | 0:04:31 | |
Guys! You got to be Vlad, Ingrid. High fives! | 0:04:31 | 0:04:35 | |
OK, maybe later. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
Meet your cousin. Olga... | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
Your Grace. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:46 | |
Charming. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
Oh, please! | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
This is Boris... | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
He has a few personal contact issues. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
He's shy. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
Great. Another loser. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
Silence, Ingrid, or I shall feed you to the gargoyles. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:15 | |
Anyway, time's wasting, brother! | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
You must be hungry, let's go hunt some peasant. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:21 | |
Ah, there's no easy way to break this to you, bro. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
I don't do peasant any more. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
Gave up the red stuff a while ago. Blood-free since '93. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:30 | |
I drink soya substitute - all of the goodness and none of the badness. | 0:05:30 | 0:05:35 | |
Oh, I see it now! This is all some terrible joke. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
RENFIELD CACKLES | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
Isn't it, Ivan? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
I'm sorry, bro... And it's Harvey. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:55 | |
I can't reach the next foothold. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Close your eyes, Jonno. Put your trust in that instinct of yours. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:10 | |
Oh! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:14 | |
It's just a matter of practice. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
VEHICLE APPROACHES | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
Quick, take cover! | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
Take our guests in and cancel the feast. We'll eat tomorrow. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:39 | |
Yes, Master. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:41 | |
Raa-argh! | 0:06:41 | 0:06:42 | |
BATS SQUEAK | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
Son, your instincts were right. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
They're going to feast on those so-called guests. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
What are we going to do? | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
We're going to SAVE them. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Help! Help! Help! | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
It's trying to kill me! | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
I only said, "Good evening, Master Boris." | 0:07:04 | 0:07:08 | |
This is Zoltan. He's my stuffed wolf! | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
Stuffed hellhound, if you don't mind. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:13 | |
See! | 0:07:13 | 0:07:14 | |
-He's as lethal as a fluffy cushion! -Huh! | 0:07:14 | 0:07:17 | |
-Can a fluffy cushion do this? -HE GROWLS | 0:07:17 | 0:07:21 | |
You're not helping. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:23 | |
-You OK now? -Are you kidding? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
This skanky old castle is totally creeping me out. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
Your driver has, like, boils. And you don't have cable! | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
Sorry, we're not all living blood-free in a beach-side condo. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:41 | |
Lucky?! I'm turning 16 next week | 0:07:41 | 0:07:43 | |
and I have to go through my..."transformation". | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
That's not lucky! | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
-So that's why you're here... What did your dad tell you? -Not enough! | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
I keep having nightmares where they lock me in a room | 0:07:53 | 0:07:57 | |
and this huge black snake eats its way out my head through my ear, | 0:07:57 | 0:08:02 | |
sucks up my brain and takes me over! | 0:08:02 | 0:08:06 | |
Or maybe they'll just give you a certificate. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
Yeah, right(!) | 0:08:09 | 0:08:11 | |
Fun being a vampire, isn't it? | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
You Yanks are such a letdown! | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Shift! | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Kiss - my - cape! | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
Oh, I see. The "Miss Goody Two Shoes" routine is an act. Pathetic! | 0:08:25 | 0:08:31 | |
You're pathetic! The Count can't bear YOU, but he thinks I'm charming. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:36 | |
And so does my dad, which is exactly where I want him, | 0:08:36 | 0:08:40 | |
cos when I'm 16 and get my powers... BAM! | 0:08:40 | 0:08:44 | |
He's history and I take over! | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
Yeah, well, you don't scare me! | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
No? I oughta! I can make your life a misery around here... | 0:08:48 | 0:08:52 | |
Uncle Count, I wait on my daddy hand and fang. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
Would you like me to show Ingrid how? | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
Stupid! | 0:08:57 | 0:08:59 | |
I'll tell them all what you're like. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Go ahead. Who'll believe YOU? | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
You're the nasty one, and I'm nice. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
Now get off MY bed! | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
MUSIC PLAYS | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
DONG! | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
Hi, Ingrid! Did your cousins... | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
I'll let myself in, then. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
You're saying that my dad | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
picked you up and threw you off the battlements? | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
One-handed. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
HE STRAINS | 0:10:09 | 0:10:10 | |
Do you want a hand? | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
No, I'm fine... | 0:10:14 | 0:10:17 | |
WOLF SIGHS AND GRUNTS | 0:10:17 | 0:10:20 | |
And this is the son of Ivan the Bloodthirsty?! | 0:10:24 | 0:10:28 | |
It's Harvey now. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Apologies, Master! Please don't rip out my intestines | 0:10:31 | 0:10:34 | |
and throw them to the rats! | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
Why would I do that? | 0:10:36 | 0:10:38 | |
You used to! | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
Old days, old ways, my friend. | 0:10:40 | 0:10:44 | |
Come on, Boris. Time we did some prep for your transformation. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:48 | |
Maybe later, Dad. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
DOORS SLAM | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
Now, Boris! | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
Hey, Vlad. How you doing? | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
I'm fine. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
Really? Come on, shoot. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
What's on your mind? | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
Well, you know you live... | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
blood-free? | 0:11:18 | 0:11:21 | |
Yeah... | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Can all vampires do it? | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
You betcha! It's all about finding inner peace. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:31 | |
Why? You interested? | 0:11:31 | 0:11:32 | |
Definitely. For the first time I can imagine becoming a vampire. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:36 | |
The whole blood thing, it's not me. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:40 | |
The only problem is... | 0:11:40 | 0:11:41 | |
My brother? | 0:11:41 | 0:11:44 | |
He's not big on inner peace. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
But... | 0:11:46 | 0:11:47 | |
I could convert him? | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
He's a tough cookie, but I'm always ready to spread the word! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:57 | |
Why don't we... | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
work on him together? | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
This time next week we'll have him sipping soya blood martinis | 0:12:01 | 0:12:05 | |
in Bermuda shorts! | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
I think it may take longer than a week. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
I thought we agreed. That's my bed. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:26 | |
Yeah, well, I've changed my mind. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
Tell me again about that plan | 0:12:28 | 0:12:30 | |
to slaughter your dad and take over the family? | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
-If I don't, are you going to hit me again? -What? | 0:12:33 | 0:12:37 | |
-No, Ingrid, please don't... -Stop it! | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
SLAP! Ow! That really hurts! | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
Do you really think I'm that stupid I'd let you record me? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:45 | |
Don't try and fight me. You ain't good enough! | 0:12:45 | 0:12:49 | |
This isn't funny any more! Let me in! | 0:12:53 | 0:12:56 | |
Waarrgghh! | 0:12:56 | 0:12:57 | |
Excellent! | 0:13:01 | 0:13:02 | |
I think... | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
BANGING | 0:13:04 | 0:13:05 | |
Uh-oh. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
DEMONIC LAUGHTER | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
So I said to the guy, "Give me two blood martinis, but hold the blood." | 0:13:17 | 0:13:21 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
Breakfast, Masters? | 0:13:32 | 0:13:35 | |
I've prepared a full selection of vermin | 0:13:35 | 0:13:40 | |
or, if you prefer a lighter bite, | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
a choice of rare birds and, of course, | 0:13:42 | 0:13:47 | |
-my signature dish... -HE CHORTLES | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
..rancid fox. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:54 | |
Oh, sorry... didn't I mention? I'm vegetarian. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:58 | |
I've got badgers' noses. They're more gristle than meat. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:02 | |
Are you deliberately trying to give me a blood ulcer? | 0:14:02 | 0:14:05 | |
What in the name of the Impaler has happened to you?! | 0:14:05 | 0:14:08 | |
I cleaned up my act, bro. I had to. | 0:14:08 | 0:14:12 | |
I was out of control, draining 50 peasants a day. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
I tried everything to cut down - | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
patches, hypnotherapy... Nothing worked. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:20 | |
Then I met a bunch of New Age werewolves... | 0:14:20 | 0:14:24 | |
Why does it always have to be werewolves?! | 0:14:24 | 0:14:27 | |
Dad... | 0:14:27 | 0:14:28 | |
They told me if I'd eat good, I'd do good. I never felt better! | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
I made a fortune selling real estate. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:34 | |
The old hypnosis trick makes us Draculas good salesmen. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
It's a little sneaky for the "new you", isn't it? | 0:14:38 | 0:14:42 | |
-I haven't changed that much! -Dad, this is the 21st century. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
All the cool vampires are living blood-free. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
I was thinking, perhaps, possibly, maybe you could give it a try? | 0:14:48 | 0:14:52 | |
Maybe. Maybe, we could live in a little cottage, | 0:14:52 | 0:14:56 | |
and eat nuts and grow daffodils... | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
NEVER! | 0:15:00 | 0:15:01 | |
Well, that went well. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
Don't worry, there's more than one way to skin a cat. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:09 | |
And I should know. I've skinned a few! | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
OK, Operation Rescue, ready to go. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
Final equipment check... | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
-Stakes. -Check. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:20 | |
-Body armour. -Check. | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
-Emergency flares. -Check. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:23 | |
-Ham sandwiches with pickle. -Check. | 0:15:23 | 0:15:25 | |
-SPLAT! -Oops. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
Oh, great. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:47 | |
EERIE NOISES | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
ROARING Yaa-aaa-aah! | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
DEMONIC CHORTLING | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
WHISTLING | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Go away! I need some peace and quiet. | 0:16:04 | 0:16:07 | |
Right you are. I'll sprinkle my filth later. | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
What is the meaning of this?! | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
"Hey, vampire, just say no! Ten steps to a blood-free life." | 0:16:16 | 0:16:21 | |
Master Vlad and your brother left those all round the castle. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:24 | |
Ivan always charmed the birds from the trees... | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
before horribly mutilating them. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
And now he's turning my own son against me. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
Oh, there, there, Master, | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
your old Renfield's here. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
What are you doing? | 0:16:39 | 0:16:41 | |
Comforting you? | 0:16:41 | 0:16:42 | |
Well, don't! | 0:16:42 | 0:16:44 | |
This South American mood stone measures the tension in the room. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:53 | |
WHALES SING ON RECORD | 0:16:53 | 0:16:56 | |
Blue is cool, red is stressed... | 0:16:56 | 0:17:02 | |
That's good, guys. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:03 | |
You're doing well... | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
-ROARS: -Ivan! | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
You! | 0:17:10 | 0:17:11 | |
Yo, big bro! Come and join us. It's good for the soul. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:15 | |
I don't have a soul... | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
and neither should you! Now stop poisoning my son's mind | 0:17:17 | 0:17:22 | |
with this New Age claptrap. | 0:17:22 | 0:17:25 | |
Vladimir...it is your destiny | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
to become a fully-fledged blood-sucking vampire. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
Vlad, take no notice. The old ways are deader than he is. | 0:17:33 | 0:17:36 | |
-Vladimir, you will listen to me. -I -am head of this family. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:40 | |
Huh! It's like when we were kids. He's the boss cos he's the oldest! | 0:17:40 | 0:17:44 | |
When we played Victim and Vampire, I always had to be the victim. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
Oh. But at least I wasn't a little snitch, | 0:17:47 | 0:17:50 | |
running off to Nanny Clontarf every time I took your toy hearse away! | 0:17:50 | 0:17:55 | |
Dad, stop it! You can't fight the future. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
Living blood-free is the only way we'll survive. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:01 | |
HE ROARS | 0:18:01 | 0:18:03 | |
Survive! | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
I'll show you how we survive. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:09 | |
Dad, no! | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
Wow! The way you stood up to him then was so impressive. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:18 | |
Impressive! Thanks to me, he's going to kill a breather. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:22 | |
I've ruined everything. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:23 | |
SCREECHING | 0:18:25 | 0:18:26 | |
Let's go through the plan. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
Now, at 2000 hours you create a diversion. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
But, Dad, my instincts tell me the Count's left. We should go in now! | 0:18:31 | 0:18:36 | |
-No, Jonno. -But, Dad... | 0:18:36 | 0:18:37 | |
Don't forget the first rule of slaying - | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
"always stick to the plan". | 0:18:40 | 0:18:42 | |
I thought it was "protect your family"? | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
Sorry. | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
Now, we creep round the back... | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
-Why?! Let's charge in through the front! -No, we lose the surprise! | 0:18:52 | 0:18:57 | |
The first rule of slaying - "never lose the..." | 0:18:57 | 0:19:02 | |
As I was saying, | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
the second rule of slaying - "never lose the element of surprise". | 0:19:07 | 0:19:12 | |
FLAPPING | 0:19:21 | 0:19:23 | |
Good evening, wench. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
-ALARM SHRIEKS -Aa-aa-aa-argh! | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
Creep! | 0:19:40 | 0:19:42 | |
Dad won't stop at one peasant. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
Once he gets the taste of blood, he'll go on a rampage. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:48 | |
The butchers, the bakers... | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
And it's all your fault! | 0:19:50 | 0:19:53 | |
SCREECHING | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
Aaargh! | 0:19:59 | 0:20:01 | |
Dad, let me...help you. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
Well, thank you, Ingrid... | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
Now go away! | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
Villages aren't safe any more! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
The peasant had a contraption that's played havoc with my bat hearing! | 0:20:14 | 0:20:19 | |
-So you didn't bite... -No! | 0:20:19 | 0:20:21 | |
Welcome to the modern era. It's a dangerous place for vampires. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:26 | |
If it hadn't been a personal alarm, it could have been pepper spray. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:30 | |
Or a stun gun. | 0:20:30 | 0:20:32 | |
It's not just peasants with flaming torches any more. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:36 | |
Living in the past is stressing you out big time. | 0:20:36 | 0:20:40 | |
I mean, you're just over 700... | 0:20:40 | 0:20:43 | |
600! | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
-Whatever. You look closer to 1,000. -I can still turn a few heads. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:49 | |
I'm not saying you're not good looking. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
All us Drac guys have that in common, right? | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
But you go blood-free and those years will just fall away. | 0:20:55 | 0:20:59 | |
Before you Girl Guides break into Somewhere Over the Rainbow, | 0:20:59 | 0:21:04 | |
can I just say one thing? | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
-Van Helsing. -Van who...sing? | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
The local slayer. He won't give up. He won't let Dad live a normal life. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:13 | |
Good point, Ingrid. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
Uncle Harvey, you can talk to Van Helsing. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
Fantastic idea, Vlad. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:23 | |
You think you can do that, little brother? | 0:21:23 | 0:21:27 | |
Sure... | 0:21:30 | 0:21:31 | |
I'll go see the slayer. And if I convince him to hang up his stake, | 0:21:31 | 0:21:36 | |
you go blood-free. Right? | 0:21:36 | 0:21:39 | |
Agreed! | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
-No! -Yes! | 0:21:45 | 0:21:47 | |
I don't suppose you've got a sandwich in there, have you? | 0:21:51 | 0:21:56 | |
I'm starving. | 0:21:56 | 0:21:57 | |
DEEP VOICE: Me, too. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:58 | |
Aa-aa-aah! | 0:21:58 | 0:22:00 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
Hey! | 0:22:11 | 0:22:13 | |
Easy there, little buddy! | 0:22:13 | 0:22:15 | |
Great night for a walk, isn't it? | 0:22:15 | 0:22:17 | |
TYRES SCREECH | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
That doesn't look good. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
Will you really give up centuries of evil to become a peasant-hugger?! | 0:22:31 | 0:22:37 | |
-Yes, he is. -Oh, no, he's not! | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
Huh? | 0:22:39 | 0:22:40 | |
My brother was never able to resist the blood of a slayer. | 0:22:40 | 0:22:44 | |
To send him there was inspired, Vlad. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
Two minutes with Van Helsing | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
and he'll be draining him dry! It's win, win. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
I get rid of the slayer and get my blood-sucking brother back! | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
-Neat. -What?! | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
Dad, you are brilliant. | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
-Hmmm. -You're wrong! He won't go back to how he was. He's the future. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:03 | |
We've just delivered him into Van Helsing's hands! | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
Oh, don't worry about Ivan. | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
He can take care of himself. | 0:23:08 | 0:23:10 | |
Vlad, I just saw your uncle being kidnapped by the Van Helsings. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:14 | |
Happy now? | 0:23:16 | 0:23:17 | |
HE CACKLES | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Come in. Come in. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
Here we go. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
You're with friends. | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
Sorry about the rough stuff, but you don't hang about at that castle. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:32 | |
Who are you guys? | 0:23:32 | 0:23:34 | |
Van Helsing. This is my son, Jonathan. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:37 | |
Ah, the slayers! | 0:23:37 | 0:23:39 | |
You know about us? | 0:23:39 | 0:23:41 | |
Of course! My brother told me about you. | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
-Your brother? -Count Dracula. I'm his brother, Harvey. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:47 | |
How you doing? | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
Oh, come on! Play nice! You invited me in. | 0:23:50 | 0:23:54 | |
If I wanted to bite you, you'd both be dried-out corpses by now. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:58 | |
You see. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
Now just sit down, de-stress. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
I can show you some very effective relaxation techniques. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:10 | |
What sort of vampire are you? | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
The coolest bat you've ever known! | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
And then... | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
I was really tiny... | 0:24:20 | 0:24:21 | |
Suit of armour! | 0:24:23 | 0:24:25 | |
What? | 0:24:28 | 0:24:29 | |
Can we do this later? My uncle is about to get staked. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:33 | |
Touchy. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:35 | |
Look, do you want to put the stake down? | 0:24:36 | 0:24:40 | |
I'd rather not. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
So the Count's giving up blood? | 0:24:42 | 0:24:43 | |
Certainly. He wants to start a new, clean, normal life. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:47 | |
He's a changed man. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:48 | |
He's not a man, he's a vampire! | 0:24:48 | 0:24:51 | |
You say "to-mah-to", I say "to-may-to". | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
I've made him realise that feeding on the living isn't cool. | 0:24:54 | 0:24:58 | |
This is a win for you guys. He's putting away his fangs! | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
Why should we believe you? | 0:25:03 | 0:25:04 | |
Dad, my instinct says he's telling the truth. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
Really? | 0:25:06 | 0:25:08 | |
Smart kid. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
What do you say? End the feud and get on with your lives? | 0:25:10 | 0:25:15 | |
If you want to move stateside, I can do you a great deal on a condo. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:19 | |
SLAMMING AND BANGING | 0:25:19 | 0:25:21 | |
Ow! | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
HEART THUMPS | 0:25:27 | 0:25:30 | |
EVIL VOICE: Slayer's blood. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
Dad! | 0:25:43 | 0:25:45 | |
Don't look at him, son! | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
Uncle Harvey, no! | 0:25:51 | 0:25:52 | |
The name is Ivan. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:56 | |
The garlic! | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
Raa-aargh! | 0:26:05 | 0:26:08 | |
FLAPPING | 0:26:08 | 0:26:11 | |
We'll be off, then. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:15 | |
Maybe my instinct needs a little work. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
I don't believe you! You said living blood-free was our best chance! | 0:26:21 | 0:26:26 | |
There was no blood-free! | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
It was a deluded dream. Tell him, Ivan. | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
-I haven't felt this undead in years. -Good to have you back. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:36 | |
-Daddy... -Go away, brat! The men are talking. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:42 | |
Welcome to my world. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
Now, go and make MY bed before I dip you in the slime pit! | 0:26:45 | 0:26:50 | |
I haven't forgotten that you helped save that slayer, breather. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:56 | |
Maybe I should snack on you to make up for it... | 0:26:56 | 0:27:00 | |
Leave him alone. | 0:27:00 | 0:27:01 | |
We must celebrate. Renfield! | 0:27:01 | 0:27:04 | |
Renfield, fetch us a case of vintage Hungarian Royalty. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:08 | |
Sounds good! And isn't it Saturday? | 0:27:08 | 0:27:12 | |
Let's find some hellhounds we can throw off the battlements. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:16 | |
Thanks, Vlad. I'm sorry the blood-free thing didn't work out. | 0:27:23 | 0:27:27 | |
That's the least of my worries. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:29 | |
With Ivan and Dad back together, things will get seriously scary. | 0:27:29 | 0:27:33 | |
-THUD! -Oh-ah! | 0:27:33 | 0:27:34 | |
It's just like old times. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 | |
See what I mean? | 0:27:41 | 0:27:42 |