Revamped Young Dracula


Revamped

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Transcript


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I've lost the scent. Which way?

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This way.

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Are you sure you want to do this? It could be dangerous.

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Vampires down here don't play by the rules.

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They will when I'm finished with them.

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-How can they live like this?

-They've got nowhere else to go.

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Sometimes immortality just gives you more time to fail.

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Nice of you to join us.

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Hope you like what we've done with the place.

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You made a big mistake at the football match.

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Oh, tell me about it. I should have headed Ryan's cross

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instead of going for the volley. Sorry, man.

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You bit your way through half the slayer team.

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Oh, that mistake?

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The Slayers' Guild have given us 48 hours to stop attacking breathers,

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otherwise the ceasefire is over.

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Does this mean they don't want a rematch?

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OTHERS LAUGH

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I'm starting a new training course at Garside.

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We'll teach you the skills you need to rebuild your lives.

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We'll help you make the switch from biting breathers to using blood bags.

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You'll learn how to become part of society again, have jobs,

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nice homes, be trusted, respected, admired,

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not scratching a living down here with the rats.

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I can revamp you.

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Now who's with me?

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VLAD CLAPS

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STOPS CLAPPING Revamp you? Really?

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I thought it was catchy.

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Obviously not everyone agrees.

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Sorry, Vlad.

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We tried to play ball, but it's just not our game.

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Bloodsports, that's more our thing.

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Times have changed. There's new way to live.

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Yeah, and an old way to die.

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-That went well.

-Yeah, I thought so too.

-Mmm.

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-Trouble?

-I'm going to help Vlad bring in the street fangs.

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-Stand down.

-You what?

-They're out of control.

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In 48 hours, the ceasefire will be over and we'll be at war again.

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-You want him to fail.

-No.

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But I do think it's fitting that the deadline expires on Halloween night.

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-He'll meet the deadline.

-We can hope for the best.

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But we must prepare for the worst. I need you to do a weapons check.

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-I'm going to help my friend and you can't stop me.

-Yes, I can.

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Can we please dust them all and go home now?

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Violence won't get us anywhere.

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Seems to be working quite well for them.

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ALL GASP

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It's revamp, or rest in peace.

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A wise choice.

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THEY SNARL

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Forgive me for saying this, but...

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The Chosen One has lost his way.

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We need to nudge him back on course.

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What's the saying? Oh, oh.

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Old age and trickery will always overcome youth and ambition.

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Ah.

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What did you have in mind?

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If Vlad doesn't beat the deadline,

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the slayers will break off the ceasefire and life returns to normal.

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Vampires and slayers... at each other's throats.

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And this time we'll wipe out the Guild once and for all.

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Nothing will stand in our way. We will own the night.

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All we have to do is ensure that Vlad's little revamp project

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fails spectacularly.

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BOTH LAUGH

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-Of course, it would be better if we didn't get our own hands dirty.

-Ah.

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Never do a job yourself

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-when you've got a daughter who can do it for you.

-Ah.

-Ah!

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DOOR OPENS

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-You wanted to see me?

-We would like your opinion on something.

-Why?

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-You've never asked for it before.

-We'd like a woman's perspective.

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Someone who's intelligent.

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-Refined.

-Selfish.

-Unscrupulous.

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You're plotting something and you want me to do your dirty work.

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-She's good.

-The compliments were a bit of a giveaway.

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-We would like you to sabotage Vlad's revamping unit.

-What's in it for me?

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The ceasefire ends and you go back to doing what you do best -

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biting the neck that feeds.

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Don't tempt me.

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Now ask me what I want.

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You want to show some respect when talking to your father.

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I would never let my daughter...

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What do you want, darling daughter, apple of my eye?

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I told you.

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I want a seat on the High Council.

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HE LAUGHS

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I thought you were joking. You're far too young.

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I'm sure I'd be a fast learner in the hands of a more...

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experienced council member.

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-I blame her mother.

-Better warm up that seat. This won't take long.

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-You can't stop me this time.

-Malik's gang bit another breather tonight.

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This experiment was a mistake.

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-Vampires will never change.

-No, it's you that will never change.

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Slaying vampires won't bring Dad back,

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but helping them might save someone else.

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Yeah, the electrics have gone.

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Lights, sockets, everything.

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Strange that it's only this classroom.

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-Yeah, that is a mystery and no mistake.

-It could be a loose wire.

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I'll have to close this classroom until it's fixed.

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Oh, no, that... That's a bit drastic, isn't it? I'm sure it's a bit of a...

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Aaagh!

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Just kidding!

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HE LAUGHS

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Let's get to work.

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The first phase of the revamp is to get control of your bloodlust.

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You have to go cold fang.

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No blood for 24 hours.

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They're loaded with concentrated garlic juice.

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Go ahead, punk, make my day.

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There's no way out of this room.

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We sprayed the windows with garlic juice.

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And the walls and the ceilings. Control your bloodlust.

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It's the only way you're getting out of here.

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Renfield, you take the first shift.

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-Anyone comes through this door, you know what to do.

-Yeah.

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I'll give them both barrels.

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Oh! Sorry. Itchy trigger finger.

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Itchy all over, actually.

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Aagh! Sorry.

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Phase one of the revamp is underway.

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Excellent, Vladdy. Isn't that...excellent, Ramanga?

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-Excellent.

-And you were able to round up all the street fangs?

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-Malik and his gang got away.

-Oh, dear. That is regrettable.

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Most regrettable.

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Don't worry. We'll find him before the deadline.

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Well, if you need our help, just say the words. We are right behind you.

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Go, Team Vladdy.

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Halt! Who goes here?

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There, there. Who goes there.

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Put 'em up.

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You're feeling hungry, very hungry.

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You have an irresistible urge to go to the kitchen

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and fix yourself a snack.

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I have an irresistible urge to go to the kitchen and fix myself a snack.

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Er, what are you doing here?

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Oh, felt peckish, made myself a slug sandwich.

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Anybody want one? No?

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-Who's guarding the revamp room?

-Well, I...

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HE GULPS

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Oh. What are you two still doing in school?

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You should have gone home hours ago.

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I don't recognise you. Whose form are you in?

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Miss McCauley!

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I just wanted to say...good night.

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Vlad, do you know who these...?

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Night, Vlad.

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All present and correct.

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Er, I'll take this shift.

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BELL RINGS

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Pathetic. He's missed the jugular by a country mile.

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-Oh, morning, Mr Count.

-Ah, morning.

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-I saw some odd-looking kids in the school last night.

-Chess club?

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No, they weren't pupils. They looked... Well, homeless.

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Oh, no, no, that's Vlad.

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He's rounded up some street urchins,

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trying to clean them up, teach them life skills.

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I'll tell him to get rid of them.

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How kind of Vlad to try and help those less fortunate than himself.

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Actually, it was my idea. Yes, I thought the whole thing up, not Vlad.

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But I...

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I don't like to talk about my...

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(charity work.)

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Oh, we need more people like you - selfless, caring, humane.

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Well, I only wish I could do more. Those poor souls.

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I'd like to meet them.

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Well, they're quite a shy bunch, but... Yes, I'll see what I can do.

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We've got 24 hours to bring Malik and Ryan in.

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They won't come without a fight.

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-Promise me you won't hurt my brother.

-We're out of time.

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We have to stop them, whatever it takes.

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-He's the only family I've got.

-You're not his sister any more.

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You're a breather.

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Let me talk to Ryan, see if I can get through to him.

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The time for talking is over.

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-You're in charge while I'm gone.

-Where are you going?

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Into the lion's den.

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Right. Miss McCauley has taken an interest in the revamp unit.

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It's probably best we don't destroy it just yet.

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Why do we care what a breather thinks?

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-They're about to be put back on the menu.

-It's complicated.

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Besides, I've had a better idea.

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The quickest way to ensure the ceasefire ends

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is for Jonno get bitten...

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..turned into one of us.

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-Vlad loses his closest ally...

-Mmm.

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..and the Guild lose their poster boy for peaceful coexistence.

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Clever.

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-Who's going to bite him? Ingrid?

-No, no, no.

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-Mmm.

-BOTH LAUGH

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Ryan?

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It's me, Erin.

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SCUFFLING

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Stupid torch.

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I've got a stake and I'm... not afraid to use it.

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Get a grip.

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SHE GASPS

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Sorry. Any sign of him?

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-SHE GASPS

-Sorry, sorry, sorry.

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They were here. They'll be back.

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Let's hide and wait.

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You mean it's a STAKEOUT?

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-I didn't want to say that.

-Yes, you did.

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OK, maybe a little.

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Welcome to phase two.

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The next part of your training is learning to control your cravings.

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That's it. Control your urge to bite him.

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I'm really not comfortable feeling with this.

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Hold still, Renfield, you're doing great.

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-I'm doing something. But it's certainly not great!

-Now...

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I want you to imagine that Renfield is a giant bulb of garlic.

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Round and white and stinking so bad he makes your nostrils burn.

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Ooh, I'm way ahead of you there.

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Don't see a breather.

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See a bulb of garlic.

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THEY HISS

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It's working.

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RENFIELD SIGHS

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You mean you didn't know it would?!

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-Well, it was 50/50.

-50/50?!

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Now, using this method, you can control your cravings

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and live alongside breathers.

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-Why don't you take a break? I'll take over.

-Thanks, Ingrid.

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-We're doing aversion therapy.

-Should be easy enough with Renfield.

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I'm a garlic.

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-Can garlic talk?

-Nope.

-Then, don't.

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The first thing I want you to do is to banish

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any thought of biting Renfield from your mind.

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You must ignore the juicy jugular pulsing in his neck.

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You mustn't dwell on what his warm, fresh breather blood

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would taste like as you swill it around your mouth

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before swallowing it down, savouring every drop.

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-I...don't really see the point of...

-Ah-ah! No speaking.

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And you most certainly shouldn't dwell on how vulnerable he is

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right now, sitting all alone in his chair, his neck exposed,

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and only a thin layer of skin between you

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and eight pints of refreshing, thirst-quenching blood.

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-Don't even think about it.

-Oh, thank you, Master!

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Change of plan. Leave revamp alone.

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I've found an agent provocateur to bite Jonno.

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-But what about my seat on the High Council?

-Better luck next time.

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THEY GROAN

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-Looks like a slayer attack.

-No sign of Malik. Maybe he got dusted.

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Stay hidden. If Malik turns up it'll give us the element of surprise.

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Ryan.

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-HE LAUGHS

-You're so easy to fool.

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-This is a decoy.

-For what?

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-You OK?

-It's just a scratch - thanks to you.

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You've bitten your last neck.

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Either come to revamp or we fight to the death, right now.

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-They mean it, Ryan.

-Bring it on.

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You win.

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I don't want to fight you.

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Go ahead. Give us a revamp.

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Killjoy.

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-What are you doing?

-I have my reasons.

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I'll report back to the guild. We'll take it from here.

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-Nice to know you're on our side.

-Couldn't let him bite Jonno.

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I'm saving him for a rainy day.

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You've made it. We're just inside the 48-hour window.

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Let's just hope Jonno can persuade the Slayers' Guild

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to maintain the ceasefire.

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It's only skin deep, don't worry about it.

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You still need to be tested.

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You're making a fuss over nothing.

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I feel fine! I think I would know if I was growing fangs.

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It can be a slow process with a shallow bite.

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No... That can't be right.

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Malik must've nicked the artery.

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I'm turning into a vampire?!

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You saved the Sayer boy?!

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Are you out of your mind?

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How DARE you sabotage our plans, you two-faced little...

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snake! When I think of all the things I've done for you...

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Name one.

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The...

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The point is, we had a deal.

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Which you broke.

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I won't be sidelined. I want that seat on the council.

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Huh! I'm not lifting a fang to help you.

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Well...

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there's still a few minutes until the deadline.

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A lot can happen in a few minutes.

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Tick, tock.

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Tick...

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tock.

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What...have you done?

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I told the revamp group they could go to the Halloween disco.

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Miss McCauley and the kids are probably down there

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-getting turned into pin cushions as we speak.

-Now, that's more like it!

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Yes, yes. Well done, Ingrid.

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You don't mind?

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I thought you had a soft spot for McCauley.

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Why would I be interested in a breather? I find her...

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unblemished innocence highly irritating.

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You're not a vampire.

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But the test...

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It wasn't your blood.

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Your blood tested negative, so I switched it.

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For vampire blood.

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I wanted to teach you a lesson.

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Show you how close you'd come to disaster.

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You're sick.

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Peaceful co-existence can never work.

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They're a plague on our lives and they need to be destroyed.

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You did teach me a lesson. What it feels like to be a vampire,

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caught in limbo between life and death.

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SHE SIGHS

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I felt...

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trapped.

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Now I know how scared they are and how much they need our help.

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GROWLING

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SURF ROCK MUSIC PARTY CHATTER

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I'm too late.

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What do you think of my costume?

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Costume?

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Well, I'm the bride of Dracula. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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HE GIGGLES

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Oh! You look...

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delectable.

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The outfit's a real heart-stopper.

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Well, you didn't dress up.

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Greetings.

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I am Count Dracula.

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Your husband.

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HE CACKLES

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Love the colour-changing contacts. Those fangs are amazing!

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-Where'd you get them - eBay?

-I made them myself.

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Feeling thirsty? Me too, I'm parched.

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GIRL SCREAMS

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False alarm.

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I would recommend the blood punch but there's a problem.

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There's no blood in it.

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So I'm afraid you're just going to have to bite a breather.

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That's what we're about to do any way.

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-You seen him?

-No. You?

-No.

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AB negative, my favourite.

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I am so sorry about my friend here.

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He doesn't get out much. Do you, mate?

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We were only chatting! You told us to mingle.

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We're...mingling.

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You're not ready. We're only on phase two.

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If we were going to bite someone we'd have done it already.

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Let's get back to the room and continue your training.

0:26:030:26:07

Breathers, breathers, everywhere, and not a drop to drink.

0:26:130:26:16

All right, Coleridge.

0:26:160:26:19

If you want the job doing, do it yourself.

0:26:190:26:22

New strategy!

0:26:240:26:26

We want Vlad to decide to end peaceful co-existence himself.

0:26:290:26:33

-He'll never do that.

-Haven't heard the plan yet.

0:26:330:26:37

We are going to insist Vlad gets betrothed.

0:26:370:26:40

He's mad about Erin.

0:26:400:26:42

That's not going to change things.

0:26:420:26:44

He's not getting engaged to Erin.

0:26:440:26:46

He's not?

0:26:460:26:48

He's getting engaged to my daughter, Adze.

0:26:480:26:51

He just doesn't know it yet.

0:26:510:26:54

She can be very persuasive.

0:26:540:26:56

She'll have him biting breathers before he can say, "I do."

0:26:560:27:01

-I do!

-Mmm!

0:27:010:27:03

FINGERS SNAP

0:27:030:27:05

HE HUMS A TUNE

0:27:050:27:07

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0:27:240:27:27

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