Browse content similar to Pie and Prejudice. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
And whoever impresses me most | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
will be named Employee of the Month. | 0:00:03 | 0:00:06 | |
Imagine having a CV. I just wanted to better myself, | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
broaden me horizons, and this was going to be it. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
You need to freshen up, my love. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
Why don't you go take a dip in the sea? | 0:00:13 | 0:00:15 | |
My name is Dominic Rook. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
My job is to maintain the illusion that man is alone. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:22 | |
Your department will be dissolved, | 0:00:22 | 0:00:24 | |
its responsibilities handed to Special Branch. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
Then God help us all. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:27 | |
Still feeling the benefits | 0:00:29 | 0:00:30 | |
of that lovely little ridge of high pressure. | 0:00:30 | 0:00:33 | |
And, oh, do my eyes deceive me? | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
Sunshine? 37 degrees? | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
I'll take it. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:38 | |
Time to dust off that bikini and hit the beach | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
And Larry Chrysler will see you there. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
This programme contains violent scenes, strong language and scenes of a sexual nature. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
'And we're out.' | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
Sorry, what the galloping balls was that? | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
I'm not stupid. I know exactly what's going on here. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
You only have so many "poor performances" | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
before it starts to look a lot like sabotage. | 0:00:57 | 0:00:59 | |
-'It was fine, Larry.' -No, Trevor, that was a shambles. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
The only thing that saved that sorry sack of shit was my bikini line. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
The line I said, not... | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
Look, I'm watching. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
Don't you worry. I'm watching. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
'That's the point.' | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
No, love, that is very much the point. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:21 | |
Nicholas Cage does not use that particular model of Jacuzzi. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
'Mr Cage has purchased several hot tubs...' | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
Yes, he may well use your brand of Jacuzzis, | 0:01:26 | 0:01:29 | |
but that's not an after-dinner anecdote I can use. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
I bought your product for one purpose and one purpose only, | 0:01:32 | 0:01:35 | |
to point at and say, "That is the exact Jacuzzi | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
"owned by Hollywood film star, Nicholas Cage." | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
Look, love, no offence, but is there a man there I can talk to? | 0:01:40 | 0:01:44 | |
-'Um, unfortunately...' -Shit, hang on. Hang on. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
'..there's nobody else available.' | 0:01:46 | 0:01:48 | |
'Mr Chrysler?' | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
'Hello?' | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
SNARLING | 0:01:53 | 0:01:54 | |
'Mr Chrysler, are you still there?' | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
'Hello?' | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
'Are you OK?'' | 0:02:02 | 0:02:04 | |
-'Mr Chrysler?' -I'll call you back. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
SNARLING | 0:02:07 | 0:02:08 | |
I've been here just as long as you. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
-I don't know why they made you manager and not me. -It's acting manager, | 0:02:24 | 0:02:27 | |
and I have no idea, Tom. I wasn't privy to the deliberations. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:30 | |
There, it's because you say "privy" and you don't mean the bogs. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
It's just a title, Tom. It doesn't change a thing. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
-Will you please stop that? It's unsanitary. -I know. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
What happened to that Patsy bird anyway? Did she just walk out? | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
She was always highly strung, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
clearly the pressure got too much for her. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
But I'm sure she'll be back soon | 0:02:45 | 0:02:46 | |
and we can return to our original roles and responsibilities. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:49 | |
Until then, it will be, "Tom, can you help out on reception?" | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
"Tom, Mrs Smith left her key in her room, can you let her in?" | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
You know that's your job anyway? | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
Because I won't put up with it, Hal! | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
For starters, it's a full moon tonight, I'm having the night off. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:00 | |
I'm just going to walk out, go home. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
And what are you going to do about it, eh? | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
-You can't. -Unbelievable. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
No, I mean I knew that, so I scheduled you the night off. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
Did you hear that then? Did you hear it? And so it begins. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:13 | |
MUSIC | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
Werewolf. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
Testes one, two. Testes one, two. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:42 | |
Little bit bassy, but we can live with it. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
So, what are the lighting choices? What have we got to play with? | 0:03:45 | 0:03:48 | |
Me? | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
On. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
OK. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
And off. | 0:03:57 | 0:03:58 | |
OK. Let's go with on. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
The hotel door closed behind me, didn't have a key. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:07 | |
Locked out in the corridors of The Dorchester, London. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:13 | |
Not quite full monty. Calm down, ladies. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:16 | |
Still had on my dressing gown over a pair of pants. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:19 | |
But it took me 25 minutes to get another key. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
-LAUGHS -Hilarious. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
I'm reminded of the time I met my wonderful wife, | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
winner of Miss Avon and Somerset 1992, '94. All the same person. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:33 | |
Don't worry, I'm not a Mormon. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
Double the nagging. Who needs it? | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
We met at a wild party after Children In Need. Erm... | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
when we met there were certainly sparks, | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
because I reversed my BMW six series into her Renault Clio. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
Our bumpers kissed and then our mouths... | 0:04:49 | 0:04:53 | |
kissed. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
DISTANT COUGHING | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
That was great. | 0:04:58 | 0:05:00 | |
I spotted you soon as you walked in. Did you spot me? | 0:05:00 | 0:05:02 | |
I can't say that I did, but I can certainly see you now. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:05 | |
So where do you change? | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
Er, in the dressing room. Sorry, I'm a little bit busy right now. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:12 | |
That's a lovely jacket. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:13 | |
-My name's Tom. Your name's Larry, seen it on your sign. -Well done. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:17 | |
So, what do you want? Money, a date, an autograph? What? | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
I'll have the last one if it's OK. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
And there it is. Who do I make it out to? | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
Tom McNair. M, small C. Big N. And then air. Like, 'air.' | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
There you go. So, what next? | 0:05:30 | 0:05:33 | |
I'm guessing straight on EBay. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
Because I check. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
I always check. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
I think it's great you're famous. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:41 | |
I didn't know we could be famous. I can't get over it. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
'A response from the Secretary of State.' | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
'Placing Value Uppermost does exactly what it says on the tin. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:53 | |
'This isn't about cuts. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:54 | |
'This is about identifying those departments | 0:05:54 | 0:05:57 | |
'that simply aren't pulling their weight and reallocating... | 0:05:57 | 0:06:01 | |
'..departments within the civil service. | 0:06:01 | 0:06:04 | |
'The Placing...' | 0:06:04 | 0:06:05 | |
Hal's got a girlfriend. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
I have not "got a girlfriend". | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
He's visiting a girl. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
And judging from that get up, she's got a very good sense of humour. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
Lady Mary is simply an acquaintance, nothing more. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
Wow. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:36 | |
An acquaintance with the Lady Mary? Ha, that's prison slang, surely? | 0:06:36 | 0:06:41 | |
No hanging out with fangs, Hal. Them's the rules. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
Please don't call us that. Lady Mary is not a vampire. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
She is a ghost, who died, some years ago. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
Wait a minute. You know a ghost? | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
Another female ghost and you didn't tell me? | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
Because I knew there was no point. You really wouldn't get on. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:59 | |
I think that's for me and my new best mate Mary to decide, don't you? | 0:06:59 | 0:07:02 | |
Absolutely not. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
Lady Mary is a shy, fragile creature, | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
with an innocence I am determined to protect. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
What, you think I would corrupt her? | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
I think you'd corrupt Keith Richards. So, if you don't mind? | 0:07:11 | 0:07:15 | |
Told you. Girlfriend. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
It is a pleasure to receive you as always, Lord Harry. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:29 | |
Since your last visit we have gained several invigorating new exhibits, | 0:07:29 | 0:07:33 | |
including an enchanting selection of pottery from the colonies. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:36 | |
Wonderful. I shall look forward to perusing them in due course. | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
-Boo! -SHE LAUGHS | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
His face. Shat you right up. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:46 | |
Alex. How's it going? | 0:07:46 | 0:07:47 | |
Ooh, hold that thought! | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
I thought we decided you were staying at home? | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
YOU decided I'd be staying at home, but I decided to ignore you. | 0:07:55 | 0:08:00 | |
Oh, come on, Hal, stop being all Hal about this. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:04 | |
I've got no-one to talk to about ghost stuff. | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
And I swear, I won't swear. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
Lady Mary, allow me to introduce Alex, | 0:08:15 | 0:08:20 | |
a new ghost of my acquaintance. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
I see. And I take it you two are, um... | 0:08:23 | 0:08:27 | |
..I'm not sure what the modern parlance is... | 0:08:28 | 0:08:31 | |
What? | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
-Shagging? -THEY LAUGH | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
-God, no. No way... -Nothing of the sort. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
Friends and nothing more, | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
in fact, we share our abode with a lycanthrope. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:43 | |
That is one crazy big dress, isn't it? | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
Still, I suppose it saves you shaving your legs, right? | 0:08:47 | 0:08:50 | |
Have you got any guillotines or stuff? | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
Oh, is there a dungeon in here? | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
My God, this place is so cool. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
Lady Mary, I offer my sincerest apologies. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:02 | |
Not at all. No. She has a... | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
a boisterous charm that has awoken the teacher in me. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:09 | |
I almost wish my finishing school were still open. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
I fear she is beyond the help of even your prodigious talents. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
-Then I accept your wager. -My what? | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
The carving really is quite exquisite. | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
In addition, we have gained a new ivory comb and a Moroccan footstool. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:23 | |
-No, seriously, what? -Mistress Alex. | 0:09:23 | 0:09:25 | |
I feel we have so much to learn from one another, | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
-though we have hardly conversed. -Yes, totally. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:30 | |
And as it seems that Lord Harry has other | 0:09:30 | 0:09:33 | |
urgent business to attend to, it appears we shall have that chance. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:36 | |
What? | 0:09:36 | 0:09:37 | |
Yes. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:40 | |
I have business, urgent business... | 0:09:42 | 0:09:46 | |
to go and do. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:48 | |
But, it is my fervent hope that you will both become better acquainted. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:53 | |
A sentiment I echo. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
Lord Harry. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:58 | |
Lady Mary. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
God. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:14 | |
Haunting a stately home. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:18 | |
Shit, that must be brilliant. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
I mean, sorry, not "shit". Um... | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
"Bums?" You all right? | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
Yes. I am curious, Lord Harry, has he...? | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
Oh yeah, yeah. He's gone. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:30 | |
Oh, thank fuck for that. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:31 | |
-What? -God, it's just such hard work keeping it up, you know? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:35 | |
All that 'thee and thou' bollocks. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:38 | |
-It gets on my tits. -You're not... | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
You're not posh? | 0:10:42 | 0:10:43 | |
-SHE YAWNS -Oh, let's get out of here. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
The place bored me to frigging tears even when I was alive. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:50 | |
But now I have a playmate. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
Come on, let's go, have some fun. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
DISTANT TELEPHONE RINGING | 0:10:57 | 0:10:58 | |
-Mr Chrysler. -I missed the fried breakfast, | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
so technically, I'm just taking what's due to me. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:07 | |
I was under the impression that you were leaving us today. However... | 0:11:07 | 0:11:11 | |
Don't know where you got that idea from. | 0:11:11 | 0:11:12 | |
My management company specifically stated | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
there was one week's full stay included in the rider. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
Well, whoever's error it is, it's very unfortunate. | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
Going out tonight, Mr Chrysler? | 0:11:20 | 0:11:23 | |
Maybe. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:26 | |
Be sure to vacate your room by tomorrow morning. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
Well, that's fine. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
Be good to get back on the road. Get some miles on the clock. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
Hotel living can be a little bit soulless. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:37 | |
You know what I mean? | 0:11:37 | 0:11:39 | |
Thanks again. | 0:11:41 | 0:11:42 | |
CLUB MUSIC | 0:11:44 | 0:11:45 | |
So you put it all on, just for Hal? | 0:11:47 | 0:11:51 | |
It wasn't always an act. | 0:11:51 | 0:11:52 | |
When he first started visiting me, | 0:11:53 | 0:11:55 | |
I actually was that curtseying fuckwit. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
So, you and Hal, what's the deal? | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
I told you, we're just mates. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
I mean, we kind of had a date once, but... | 0:12:04 | 0:12:08 | |
it didn't go too well. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:11 | |
I laddered my tights on the way there, | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
then I had to run back and get changed and... | 0:12:13 | 0:12:17 | |
then I got killed by a vampire. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:18 | |
Shit the bed. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
So, you kind of had a thing, | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
you got killed and now you and Hal live together? | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
Yeah. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:26 | |
-Mm-hm. -Oh, fuck off! | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
"Had a kind of a thing." | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
"Mates". What is he like?! Ooh. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
Shit. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:38 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:12:40 | 0:12:41 | |
OK, so, apparently, she is secretly shagging him, | 0:12:41 | 0:12:46 | |
but he's the boyfriend of her. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
You can read their minds? | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
Isn't that a bit like reading someone's diary? | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
It's brilliant, isn't it? | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
So it's fair to say you've changed over the years? | 0:12:54 | 0:12:57 | |
Mmm. Doesn't everyone? | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
I mean, I read. I watch TV. I keep up with the world. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
It just looks a bit bloody weird, | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
because I'm dressed like a cake decoration. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
-She knows! -LAUGHS | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
And she's one Bacardi Breezer away from twatting her. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:12 | |
Oops! | 0:13:13 | 0:13:14 | |
GIRL GASPS | 0:13:14 | 0:13:15 | |
Fucking bitch! | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
THEY SHOUT OVER EACH OTHER | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
Go for her! Fight, fight, fight! Fight, fight, fight! | 0:13:19 | 0:13:23 | |
Woo, woo, woo, woo! | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
-Mr Chrysler. -What? | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
It's you, again. All right? | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
-You off to go and drag your chicken round in a circle? -Excuse me? | 0:13:32 | 0:13:36 | |
I've got a cellar. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
Awesome. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:39 | |
SHE RETCHES | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
Well, she's faking it | 0:13:54 | 0:13:55 | |
and he's thinking about his ex, but he's almost there. | 0:13:55 | 0:13:59 | |
Come on, you're going to miss it, | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
he's not exactly a long-distance runner. | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Do you know what? I think I'm just going to pass. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
Suit yourself. Oh, God, here we go. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
LOUD MUSIC AND MOANING | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
WOLF HOWLS | 0:14:17 | 0:14:19 | |
I've got my own cellar now. A lot less faff. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Yes, the cellar. You're very pleased with your cellar, aren't you? | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
Look at the state of you. | 0:14:48 | 0:14:49 | |
No offence, but I know the signs. | 0:14:49 | 0:14:52 | |
Woke up in the woods then, yes? | 0:14:52 | 0:14:53 | |
Yes, bit of a crazy night last night, actually. Um... | 0:14:53 | 0:14:57 | |
some of the people from the show dragged me out to a club and... | 0:14:57 | 0:15:01 | |
absolute carnage, had about four pints. | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
Then a casino, fell in with a stag do... | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
Nice lads, but I lost a bet, so here we are. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
I think I can hear my pager. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
It's all right, you know. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:13 | |
What do you mean? | 0:15:13 | 0:15:14 | |
I'm a werewolf too. | 0:15:14 | 0:15:16 | |
Suppose it's understandable - | 0:15:18 | 0:15:19 | |
if you've never met any other werewolves, how would you know | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
how to spot them - us? I can't stop thinking about your talk. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
All the things that you've done... and bought. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:28 | |
I was just wondering if you had any like, you know, | 0:15:28 | 0:15:32 | |
like, pointers for me? | 0:15:32 | 0:15:33 | |
I'm a werewolf too, but I've never lived anywhere posh like you. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
I live in a house now, but I ain't got it all to myself. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:40 | |
I have to share it with a couple of friends. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
I used to live in a van in the woods with me dad. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
We'd move about, keep a low profile | 0:15:45 | 0:15:47 | |
and, well, just live off the land, really. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:50 | |
-What did you say? -I used to live in a van in the woods with me dad. | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
Before that. | 0:15:53 | 0:15:54 | |
Erm, I'm a werewolf but I've never lived anywhere posh like you? | 0:15:54 | 0:15:57 | |
-After that. You said something about living in a house with people. -Yeah. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
-Do they know what you are? -Yeah. Totally. -And they don't mind? | 0:16:00 | 0:16:05 | |
-Well, they've got their own things going on. -So... | 0:16:06 | 0:16:10 | |
-You want to know about the secret of my success? -Yeah. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
Half of me thinks it's impossible. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
Half of me thinks it would be selfish not to pass on my wisdom. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
And yet, the other half just wants to throw caution to the wind. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:23 | |
-That's three halves. -Oh, you're good. Ha-ha! Real good. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:28 | |
So, this house of yours, how big is it, exactly? | 0:16:29 | 0:16:32 | |
-We need to talk about Mary. -I did say you'd find her a little dull. | 0:16:39 | 0:16:43 | |
"Dull" is not the word I would use. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
Erm, "Crazy sordid batshit shocking" is more the flavour. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
I'm sorry, is this some new youth slang for "boring"? | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
-I do try to keep up... -Mary is not who you think she is, Hal. | 0:16:52 | 0:16:55 | |
The whole posh totty thing - it's just an act. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:58 | |
-Why on earth would she do that? -I don't know and I don't care. | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
But what I'm worried about is the fact that she's been stuck here | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
for 200 years and it's turned her into a total frothing loon. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
Is that what's going to happen to me? | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
Look, even if you don't pass over for... | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
..a while, I'm sure you'd cope with it admirably. | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
You and Mary are completely different people after all. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:22 | |
Had a thing with you. | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
Got killed. Stuck here as a ghost. But mates now. | 0:17:26 | 0:17:32 | |
Does that ring any bells? | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
-You all right, Tom? -I'm fine. Are you? Ooh. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:38 | |
Is that somebody at the door? | 0:17:38 | 0:17:40 | |
BUZZER RINGS | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
Tom. My young apprentice. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:46 | |
Larry, come on in, mate. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
Alex, Hal, this is Larry - the werewolf who did the talk. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
-Greetings. Larry Chrysler. -Hi. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:59 | |
Very nice. The room. Love the place. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:02 | |
Buffet monitor. Good to see you again. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
Larry's going to teach me how to become a successful werewolf. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:09 | |
-How d'you feel about that, Hal? -Good for you, Tom. | 0:18:09 | 0:18:12 | |
Yeah, it is good for me, Tom. | 0:18:12 | 0:18:13 | |
-So, am I to take it you're both werewolves as well? -No. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
-I'm a vampire. -And I'm a ghost. -Very good. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
I can see what you're doing there. Using humour to break to the ice. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
-Great stuff. -So, I see you've brought a suitcase. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:28 | |
Yeah, well, my tutoring can be quite time intensive. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
We thought rather than a lot of coming and going, | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
I'd just stay here for a while. | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
-Er, yeah. Larry's going to stay here for a while to train me. -Great. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:40 | |
-The more the merrier! -You're not the boss of me here, Hal. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
-I can do what I like. -Yes, I know, I said it was great. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:47 | |
So? | 0:18:49 | 0:18:50 | |
-Oh. -Great to meet you both. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
I didn't know you wanted to stay. | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
I thought we'd discussed it, hadn't we? I'm sure we did. | 0:19:00 | 0:19:03 | |
-We were thinking it, anyway. -Because of the training? -Yeah. Yeah. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:07 | |
-The training. Lots of it. -Great stuff. When do we start? | 0:19:07 | 0:19:11 | |
-Like, is there a manual or something? -Yes. Of course there is. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:15 | |
A vital component of the programme. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
Now, er, this is the most important book you'll ever own. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
Er, truly got me where I am today. This book is now your bible. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:28 | |
I want you to live it, breathe it, sleep with it under your pillow... | 0:19:28 | 0:19:32 | |
-I'm just saying it's a good book. -Oh. Wow. Thanks, Larry. | 0:19:32 | 0:19:38 | |
-You say your dad taught you a few things? -Yeah, um... | 0:19:38 | 0:19:42 | |
only steal from big shops, there's good eating on rabbit, | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
and underpants inside out buys you an extra week. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:49 | |
Essential life lessons. Anything about becoming a success? | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
-Making something of yourself? -Nah, not really. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:55 | |
It were more about whittling and not starving to death. | 0:19:55 | 0:20:00 | |
He were amazing though, me dad. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
We were hardly ever out of each other's sight. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
He protected me from the world. A bit too much, maybe. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
I don't know, I just want to make him proud. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:10 | |
And I get dead frustrated when I can't, | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
and I get things wrong and that. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
Tom. Open that door. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
Did you see him go? | 0:20:23 | 0:20:24 | |
-Old Tom, failure Tom - he's left the building. -Oh, right. See ya! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:31 | |
No, no, Tom. Shun him. Shun him. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
Shun him. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:36 | |
Now, let's get down to basics. Clothes maketh the man. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:43 | |
-How would you like this suit, Tom? -To keep? | 0:20:43 | 0:20:46 | |
You just give me your suit? | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
It's important, vitally important, to make a good first impression. | 0:20:49 | 0:20:54 | |
-And this little baby has done wonders for me. -Oh, cheers, Larry. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
Giving me all this stuff. | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
-I feel like I should give you something in return. -Ha-ha. No. | 0:20:59 | 0:21:02 | |
Not necessary. Seriously. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
Having said that, there is one thing you could help me with. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:07 | |
-Yeah, anything. -Well, obviously, I need to buy a new suit now. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:10 | |
And I've got a bit of a cash flow issue over the next few days. | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
So...I'm transferring money between banks. You know how it is. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:17 | |
But if you could maybe lend me, say... £150? | 0:21:17 | 0:21:20 | |
I've got some savings... | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
Actually, forget it. I'm embarrassed for even asking. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
I'll think of something, don't worry. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
I don't know what, exactly, but something will turn up. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:32 | |
I'll help you out, Larry. | 0:21:32 | 0:21:33 | |
-But it's just a loan though, yeah? For a few days? -Absolutely. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:37 | |
Absol-Larry-lutely. | 0:21:37 | 0:21:38 | |
-Yeah. -Tom? -Hello, Hal. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:54 | |
I've just come to congratulate you on your new position of manager. | 0:21:54 | 0:21:58 | |
Thank you, Tom. Is that Larry's suit? | 0:22:03 | 0:22:06 | |
You're not the only one who can wear a suit, Hally. | 0:22:06 | 0:22:09 | |
I got this printed off at the library. | 0:22:09 | 0:22:13 | |
-"Tom McNair Incorporated"? -Yep. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:15 | |
I think you're supposed to put something else on there | 0:22:17 | 0:22:20 | |
like a phone number or an e-mail. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:21 | |
I'll call you. Yeah, there's a new player in town. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:25 | |
And he's got the skills | 0:22:25 | 0:22:26 | |
and the looks and the motivation and the skills. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:29 | |
-He's got the whole package. -Quite. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:32 | |
Everything OK with your breakfast? | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
How's things, all right? Ange, Ange! | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
Yeah, he were really impressed. | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
I did the power handshake, gave him me card, erm, interrupted him. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:50 | |
I mean, that's three ingredients for success pie right there, innit? | 0:22:50 | 0:22:54 | |
-Success pie? -Yeah, the book. Chapter Four: Success Pie. | 0:22:54 | 0:22:59 | |
Ah, the book. Of course. Now, your next life lesson. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:02 | |
Take this and go and put the windscreen through that BMW | 0:23:02 | 0:23:05 | |
-over there. -Whose car is it? | 0:23:05 | 0:23:07 | |
Let's say it's your competitor, who has stolen your assets | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
and voted you off the board. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:13 | |
Yeah, but whose car is it really? | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
Mine. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
Stolen by my bitch of an ex-wife. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
Who is currently spending my money tanning herself in that spa | 0:23:19 | 0:23:22 | |
so she can look even more like the leather handbag, which I bought. Ha! | 0:23:22 | 0:23:26 | |
-The irony makes me want to puke. -Your ex-wife? | 0:23:26 | 0:23:29 | |
Miss Thingy '92 and '94? | 0:23:29 | 0:23:32 | |
One and the same. Although 1992 was a long time ago, | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
-as one look at her will plainly tell you. -I don't think I can do this. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:38 | |
I thought you wanted to learn how to climb the mountain of success? | 0:23:38 | 0:23:41 | |
I don't think smashing the windscreen is going to help me | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
-climb the mountain of success or eat success pie, is it? -Tom. | 0:23:43 | 0:23:46 | |
Sometimes you have to do regrettable things to get to the top. | 0:23:46 | 0:23:49 | |
And when you do, your old dad will be looking down and smiling. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:52 | |
Not if I do this he won't. | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
Maybe you're right. I'm pushing you too quickly. | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
Just go and let her tyres down, and we'll say no more about it. | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
Go on. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
All of them. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:07 | |
It's simple, really. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:12 | |
I go off and have adventures and just make sure I'm back here | 0:24:12 | 0:24:16 | |
in time for all the "Prithee Lord Harry" bullshit. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:19 | |
But why? That's what I don't understand... | 0:24:19 | 0:24:21 | |
-And what about your unfinished business? -Oh, that's all sorted. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:25 | |
Something about library books. No, I've had loads of doors appear. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:28 | |
-I just turn them down. -What? Why? | 0:24:28 | 0:24:32 | |
Hal. He needs me. | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
I know he's got you and there's been Pearl and Annie, and those | 0:24:34 | 0:24:38 | |
are just the ones I can remember, | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
but me and Hal have something special. | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
-Something no-one else could ever understand. -Which is? | 0:24:43 | 0:24:47 | |
I keep him clean! Seeing me once a year stops him from killing. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:52 | |
And has kept him from killing for more than two centuries. | 0:24:52 | 0:24:56 | |
-What do you mean? -I was his last victim. -Is that what he told you? | 0:24:56 | 0:25:02 | |
Yes. | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
You know what? It's not my business. | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
But I...just really don't think that all these lies are that healthy. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:16 | |
Just tell him who you really are. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:20 | |
But what if he doesn't want the new me? | 0:25:20 | 0:25:22 | |
Oh. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
Sometimes, when he looks at me, it's like... | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
..it's just on the tip of his tongue. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:34 | |
Yeah, you two really need to have a talk. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
No. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not ready. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:43 | |
OK, listen. You've shown me your world. How about I show you mine? | 0:25:43 | 0:25:48 | |
-Y'know, come see my gaff? -OK. | 0:25:49 | 0:25:53 | |
SHRIEKING | 0:25:58 | 0:25:59 | |
Cheers. | 0:26:05 | 0:26:06 | |
-Larry. Might I have a quick word? -Shoot. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:13 | |
I was just wondering how Tom's lessons were progressing? | 0:26:15 | 0:26:20 | |
Yeah, very... We're at a delicate stage. We're breaking down barriers. | 0:26:20 | 0:26:25 | |
-To replace them with? -Bridges. Castles. Affordable housing. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:30 | |
Actually, there's something I've been meaning to ask you - | 0:26:30 | 0:26:33 | |
-did you ever meet Tom's father? -No, I never had that pleasure. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:36 | |
But I'm right in thinking they kept him away from people? | 0:26:36 | 0:26:39 | |
-And that Tom was home schooled? -That was my understanding. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
Although I don't think McNair's lessons were exactly conventional. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:45 | |
You must take some of the credit, of course, | 0:26:45 | 0:26:48 | |
for helping Tom adjust to society. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:49 | |
Tom's been very resourceful in that area. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
Sorry, are you saying you haven't taught him anything? | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
I mean, you're obviously a man of breeding and intelligence, | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
whereas Tom was almost literally raised by wolves. | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
That's something of a sweeping statement. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:01 | |
And yet you felt no compulsion to pass on any of your... No, fine. | 0:27:01 | 0:27:07 | |
Not really my place. Unbelievable. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
I suppose the greatest test of a teacher's work is | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
whether the student thrives without them. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
It'll be interesting to see Tom implement all the things | 0:27:16 | 0:27:18 | |
you've taught him... | 0:27:18 | 0:27:20 | |
..once you've gone. | 0:27:21 | 0:27:22 | |
Once all of this is over. | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
It's a big house. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:31 | |
But not that big. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:35 | |
How odd you must find our little set up here? | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
How domesticated. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
Perhaps we are a little rigid but that structure seems to work for us. | 0:27:41 | 0:27:45 | |
-And we'll do all we can to protect it. -I'll bear that in mind. | 0:27:45 | 0:27:51 | |
My situation is not unique and I appreciate that. | 0:27:53 | 0:27:57 | |
People lose their jobs every day. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
And when that happens, | 0:27:59 | 0:28:01 | |
no doubt other aspects of their life expand to fill the void. | 0:28:01 | 0:28:05 | |
The problem with my life is, there's nothing else there to expand. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:12 | |
I don't have a family. I don't have any hobbies. The job was my life. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:18 | |
But now that's gone. So I find myself at something of a loose end. | 0:28:20 | 0:28:25 | |
'What was it that you did? Your job?' | 0:28:25 | 0:28:29 | |
Oh. Civil service. Very dull... | 0:28:29 | 0:28:32 | |
Well, that's what I always said. But it's something of a lie. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
My job was covert and dangerous, and required me | 0:28:41 | 0:28:46 | |
to commit acts that will haunt me until the day I die. | 0:28:46 | 0:28:49 | |
All in the name of holding back the tide. | 0:28:51 | 0:28:54 | |
And if we simply step aside now, | 0:28:55 | 0:28:57 | |
and allow that tide to wash over the world, | 0:28:57 | 0:29:00 | |
then all my sacrifice has been for nothing. | 0:29:00 | 0:29:03 | |
All those deaths have been for nothing. | 0:29:03 | 0:29:07 | |
Do you understand? | 0:29:09 | 0:29:10 | |
'Would you like me to tell you what I'm wearing?' | 0:29:12 | 0:29:15 | |
Why not? Why not? | 0:29:20 | 0:29:22 | |
You don't have to keep the suit on all the time. | 0:29:28 | 0:29:31 | |
What happens if an exciting business opportunity arose | 0:29:31 | 0:29:33 | |
and I'd taken it off? | 0:29:33 | 0:29:34 | |
-Look a bit stupid then, wouldn't I? -Tom... | 0:29:34 | 0:29:37 | |
..I need to talk to you about Larry. | 0:29:41 | 0:29:43 | |
I don't think he's quite the success he's led us to believe. | 0:29:51 | 0:29:54 | |
I wanted to know why we hadn't seen him on the television, | 0:29:54 | 0:29:58 | |
so I did a search, a Google, and it turns out | 0:29:58 | 0:30:03 | |
he was sacked, six months ago. | 0:30:03 | 0:30:05 | |
You really can't stand it, can you? | 0:30:05 | 0:30:09 | |
-Can't stand to see me winning. -Tom, this isn't winning. | 0:30:09 | 0:30:12 | |
I've been thinking. What if I made you assistant manager? | 0:30:17 | 0:30:20 | |
I don't want to be just your assistant. I want your job! | 0:30:20 | 0:30:23 | |
Something tells me now that Larry's given me | 0:30:25 | 0:30:27 | |
the skills that I need, you're worried I might just get it. | 0:30:27 | 0:30:30 | |
Larry is a charlatan and a failure. | 0:30:30 | 0:30:32 | |
He's not, he's a business guru and a motivated speaker. | 0:30:32 | 0:30:35 | |
He's been filling your head with utter nonsense. Tom, these... | 0:30:35 | 0:30:39 | |
attitudes he's encouraging - they're shallow, | 0:30:39 | 0:30:42 | |
-they're aggressive. -All right, OK, all right! | 0:30:42 | 0:30:45 | |
Maybe he's not a very nice guy. Maybe that's the truth. | 0:30:45 | 0:30:49 | |
But d'you know what? I don't care. Because nice guys finish last, Hal. | 0:30:49 | 0:30:54 | |
And I'm tired of finishing last. | 0:30:54 | 0:30:56 | |
Because when you're there, you get to the finishing line, | 0:30:56 | 0:30:59 | |
you find the pie's already gone. | 0:30:59 | 0:31:01 | |
Because some bugger like you has already ate it. | 0:31:01 | 0:31:03 | |
The success pie. | 0:31:03 | 0:31:05 | |
Which is where they keep it. At the finishing line... | 0:31:06 | 0:31:09 | |
on top of success mountain. I don't know really know how it works. | 0:31:09 | 0:31:12 | |
-You don't have to stoop to his level. -Well, maybe I do, Hal. | 0:31:16 | 0:31:19 | |
Because I'm sure of one thing - | 0:31:19 | 0:31:20 | |
McNair would've wanted more for me than this. | 0:31:20 | 0:31:23 | |
And I'm letting him down. Every day I'm letting him down. | 0:31:23 | 0:31:27 | |
And maybe this is a way I can make him proud of me. | 0:31:29 | 0:31:31 | |
Welcome to our humble abode. | 0:31:44 | 0:31:46 | |
It used to be a cheesy B&B but I swear you would never know. | 0:31:47 | 0:31:50 | |
Oh, don't sweat it, over the years I've seen some right sh... | 0:31:50 | 0:31:54 | |
shining examples of Edwardian architecture. | 0:31:54 | 0:31:58 | |
Oh, Tom's here. I thought you'd be at work. | 0:31:58 | 0:32:02 | |
I didn't know we were expecting company. You should have said. | 0:32:02 | 0:32:05 | |
Mary, this is Tom. | 0:32:05 | 0:32:07 | |
And Larry, Tom's werewolf friend/lifestyle coach. | 0:32:07 | 0:32:14 | |
Guilty as charged. | 0:32:15 | 0:32:17 | |
You must've died a long time ago, dressed like that. | 0:32:17 | 0:32:20 | |
I believe that questions as to a lady's age are considered | 0:32:20 | 0:32:23 | |
inappropriate even in this barbaric age. | 0:32:23 | 0:32:26 | |
I'm loving that whole Downton Abbey thing you've got going on there. | 0:32:26 | 0:32:30 | |
Pretty sexy. Say something else. | 0:32:30 | 0:32:32 | |
So might I take it you're Thomas's father? | 0:32:32 | 0:32:35 | |
-I'm not that bloody old! -I apologise for any offence caused. | 0:32:36 | 0:32:40 | |
-Lady Mary? -Lord Harry. | 0:32:47 | 0:32:50 | |
-You are no longer in your home, you are outside? -Indeed. | 0:32:57 | 0:33:00 | |
Mistress Alexandra persuaded me to take a quiet constitutional. | 0:33:00 | 0:33:04 | |
We were just about to have some dinner. Would you like to join us? | 0:33:04 | 0:33:08 | |
So. 250 years. | 0:33:12 | 0:33:15 | |
Man, that's a long time to stay on the straight and narrow. | 0:33:15 | 0:33:21 | |
-What's your secret, Hal? -Are my ears burning? -So ghosts really can't eat? | 0:33:21 | 0:33:26 | |
No. We can't. It's tragic. Anyway, Hal, 250 years without blood. | 0:33:26 | 0:33:31 | |
-That's quite an achievement. -So what else can't you do? | 0:33:31 | 0:33:34 | |
I'm right in saying you can't take your clothes off, aren't I? | 0:33:34 | 0:33:37 | |
-So does that also mean you can't, you know, have a bath? -No. | 0:33:37 | 0:33:42 | |
It's a real shame. Anyway, Hal, Mary, blood - discuss. | 0:33:42 | 0:33:45 | |
It is unfortunately very true. | 0:33:45 | 0:33:47 | |
Yet, even though I've been dead for over 200 years, | 0:33:47 | 0:33:52 | |
I am sure that I bathe more regularly | 0:33:52 | 0:33:55 | |
than some people I could think of. | 0:33:55 | 0:33:57 | |
I prefer showers! You're just sitting in your own muck in a bath. | 0:33:57 | 0:34:00 | |
Oh, forget the baths, it's the shagging I miss. | 0:34:00 | 0:34:02 | |
I think I need to go. | 0:34:02 | 0:34:04 | |
-So I see the FTSE's gone up. Crazy! -Real pity. | 0:34:12 | 0:34:15 | |
Real waste. Pretty girl like you... | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
..that you'll never again know the love of a man. | 0:34:19 | 0:34:22 | |
Do you want to stay a man? | 0:34:24 | 0:34:26 | |
-Do you? Just nod. -Alex? | 0:34:26 | 0:34:29 | |
OK. Then you don't talk to me. You don't look at me. | 0:34:31 | 0:34:34 | |
You don't even think of me again. | 0:34:34 | 0:34:36 | |
Because if you do, I will cut your nut sack off in the night. | 0:34:36 | 0:34:40 | |
Oh, and mention one word of this to Hal... | 0:34:40 | 0:34:42 | |
I've just got to catch up on some work. | 0:34:50 | 0:34:52 | |
What have you done? | 0:35:03 | 0:35:04 | |
-You've broken Mary! -I told you! | 0:35:06 | 0:35:08 | |
-She only puts it on because she thinks you need it! -That's insane! | 0:35:08 | 0:35:11 | |
Why would I need her to do such a thing?! | 0:35:11 | 0:35:13 | |
Because somehow she has this crazy idea | 0:35:13 | 0:35:16 | |
that she was your last ever victim! | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
-You haven't told her, have you? -No, I haven't. | 0:35:20 | 0:35:22 | |
But how the hell could you let her think that for so long? | 0:35:22 | 0:35:25 | |
It's not exactly an easy topic to raise. | 0:35:25 | 0:35:27 | |
Hal, she is turning down doors | 0:35:27 | 0:35:28 | |
because she thinks it's keeping you clean. You have to tell her. | 0:35:28 | 0:35:32 | |
I can't. It would destroy her. She's far too fragile. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:35 | |
Hal, does she look fragile?! | 0:35:35 | 0:35:37 | |
Your mate's a nutter. | 0:35:44 | 0:35:45 | |
Yeah, well, yours is an arsehole. And a letch. And a bullshitter. | 0:35:45 | 0:35:49 | |
-He's got a Jacuzzi. -Oh, stuff his Jacuzzi. Seriously, Tom, | 0:35:49 | 0:35:52 | |
what are you even doing with that guy? | 0:35:52 | 0:35:55 | |
Learning how to be like him. | 0:35:58 | 0:35:59 | |
-Larry? You all right, mate? -Absolutely fine. | 0:36:08 | 0:36:10 | |
What's on your mind there, Tom-Tom? | 0:36:10 | 0:36:12 | |
-Bit weird down there with Mary, wasn't it? -Oh, that. | 0:36:12 | 0:36:15 | |
To be honest, I'd forgotten all about that. | 0:36:15 | 0:36:17 | |
It's all part of the game, Tom. All part of the game. | 0:36:17 | 0:36:20 | |
-Your hand's bleeding. -Anything else? | 0:36:20 | 0:36:22 | |
When are you going to be back on the telly? | 0:36:22 | 0:36:25 | |
I'd really like Hal to see you in action. | 0:36:25 | 0:36:27 | |
Well, if you must know, | 0:36:27 | 0:36:29 | |
I'm taking some leave to pursue other opportunities. | 0:36:29 | 0:36:31 | |
But I'll be back on again in a couple of weeks. | 0:36:31 | 0:36:34 | |
Straight after the six o'clock news. | 0:36:34 | 0:36:35 | |
Erm, I was thinking that... | 0:36:35 | 0:36:37 | |
maybe tomorrow we could go round to your house | 0:36:37 | 0:36:40 | |
and do some training, or go for a swim in the Jacuzzi or something. | 0:36:40 | 0:36:44 | |
Ah. Sorry, but the old pile now belongs to my charming ex-wife. | 0:36:44 | 0:36:47 | |
We can certainly go round there and put some windows through, | 0:36:47 | 0:36:50 | |
-if you're up for it? -No, thanks. | 0:36:50 | 0:36:52 | |
So you ain't got a house no more, no? | 0:36:52 | 0:36:55 | |
Come on, Tom. "House", "job", "wife". Shackles by any other name. | 0:36:55 | 0:36:58 | |
Who needs them really, huh? | 0:36:58 | 0:37:01 | |
Hal was right, wasn't he? | 0:37:02 | 0:37:04 | |
-It's all just made up. All just stories. -What? | 0:37:04 | 0:37:07 | |
I wouldn't go listening to Hal. | 0:37:07 | 0:37:09 | |
Look up "loser" in the dictionary, there's a picture of him. | 0:37:09 | 0:37:12 | |
Or a drawing. I don't quite know how it works, but... | 0:37:12 | 0:37:16 | |
You've been sleeping in your car, ain't ya? | 0:37:16 | 0:37:18 | |
I've done enough dossing to know the signs. | 0:37:18 | 0:37:21 | |
He's really got to you, hasn't he? I've gotta say, I'm disappointed. | 0:37:21 | 0:37:24 | |
Stop it now, Larry. | 0:37:24 | 0:37:26 | |
It ain't working no more, mate. Were you ever a success? | 0:37:26 | 0:37:29 | |
Was it all just lies? | 0:37:29 | 0:37:31 | |
If I ever lied to you it was only to protect you. | 0:37:31 | 0:37:33 | |
I did have it all, once upon a time. | 0:37:33 | 0:37:35 | |
Then the werewolf came and gobbled it all up. | 0:37:35 | 0:37:38 | |
How? How did it gobble it all up? | 0:37:38 | 0:37:41 | |
-What does that even mean? -You were turned as a baby, weren't you? | 0:37:41 | 0:37:44 | |
You've never known anything else. | 0:37:44 | 0:37:46 | |
You don't know how the wolf changes you. | 0:37:46 | 0:37:48 | |
You see, it's not just one night a month. It's every day, every hour. | 0:37:48 | 0:37:52 | |
-No, it's not. Most of the time we're normal. -How would you know? | 0:37:52 | 0:37:55 | |
You've never seen yourself without it. I know it changed me. | 0:37:55 | 0:37:59 | |
I've got instincts now which I never had before. | 0:37:59 | 0:38:02 | |
New drives. Aggression. | 0:38:02 | 0:38:04 | |
Lust. That's how it started - I cheated on my wife. | 0:38:04 | 0:38:08 | |
Piece by piece, the wolf took it all away. | 0:38:08 | 0:38:11 | |
The houses, the job, the money. | 0:38:11 | 0:38:14 | |
-Well, I ain't like that. I'm nothing like that. -What? No aggression? | 0:38:14 | 0:38:17 | |
How many vampires have you killed? | 0:38:17 | 0:38:19 | |
Or maybe the wolf is holding you back in other ways. | 0:38:19 | 0:38:22 | |
How would you know? | 0:38:22 | 0:38:23 | |
Maybe there's a smart, successful Tom inside that has all the answers. | 0:38:23 | 0:38:28 | |
Who, sadly, we'll never meet. | 0:38:28 | 0:38:29 | |
Yeah, but, you gave me that book. You said if I learnt it... | 0:38:29 | 0:38:33 | |
I've never even read that book. | 0:38:33 | 0:38:35 | |
I don't think any of us stands a chance against the wolf. | 0:38:35 | 0:38:37 | |
Because it always wins. For us, this is as good as it gets. | 0:38:37 | 0:38:42 | |
You shouldn't have come back. | 0:38:47 | 0:38:50 | |
-You and Hal need to talk about this. -He doesn't even know me any more. | 0:38:51 | 0:38:55 | |
So introduce yourself. | 0:38:57 | 0:38:58 | |
And I like action films - erm, John Woo, Jackie Chan... | 0:39:00 | 0:39:07 | |
..and the music of Metallica. | 0:39:08 | 0:39:11 | |
I watch cage fighting. | 0:39:11 | 0:39:14 | |
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT | 0:39:14 | 0:39:15 | |
I shoplift... | 0:39:15 | 0:39:17 | |
quite a lot. | 0:39:17 | 0:39:18 | |
And I push people over sometimes if I don't like their shoes... | 0:39:18 | 0:39:24 | |
or their faces. | 0:39:24 | 0:39:26 | |
Suppose this must all be a bit of a head-fuck. | 0:39:28 | 0:39:31 | |
That's certainly... one way of putting it. | 0:39:32 | 0:39:36 | |
Well, actually, Mary, | 0:39:36 | 0:39:38 | |
Hal has a little secret that he wants to tell you. | 0:39:38 | 0:39:42 | |
Really? | 0:39:43 | 0:39:45 | |
What's that then, Hal? | 0:39:47 | 0:39:49 | |
Alex has been telling me that you have been turning down doors, | 0:39:52 | 0:39:56 | |
thinking that your presence here has been keeping me from killing. | 0:39:56 | 0:40:01 | |
I'm sorry to break this to you, Mary, but that simply isn't true. | 0:40:01 | 0:40:04 | |
You have been a loyal and close friend. | 0:40:04 | 0:40:06 | |
But you weren't my last victim. | 0:40:06 | 0:40:08 | |
You...are... | 0:40:13 | 0:40:16 | |
..shitting me. | 0:40:17 | 0:40:19 | |
Many times, I tried to raise the courage to tell you... | 0:40:19 | 0:40:22 | |
You had CENTURIES of lying. | 0:40:22 | 0:40:25 | |
Centuries of bowing and fawning and babbling about the fucking weather. | 0:40:25 | 0:40:31 | |
Centuries of knowing how I felt about you. | 0:40:31 | 0:40:34 | |
-Centuries of letting me think you felt the same. -And I did! | 0:40:34 | 0:40:39 | |
Perhaps not in that way. But I'm totally clean now. | 0:40:39 | 0:40:44 | |
It must be over 50 years since I last killed a human for blood. | 0:40:44 | 0:40:48 | |
Oh, that's OK then(!) | 0:40:48 | 0:40:49 | |
Because that only makes me an idiot for, what, 200 years? | 0:40:49 | 0:40:54 | |
And you knew? Wow. | 0:40:54 | 0:40:56 | |
You covered for this tosser? | 0:40:56 | 0:40:58 | |
But now, you're...you're free. | 0:40:58 | 0:41:02 | |
-You're free to pass over. -Well, thank you. | 0:41:02 | 0:41:06 | |
Thank you very much(!) | 0:41:06 | 0:41:08 | |
You've really solved my life. | 0:41:08 | 0:41:11 | |
You utter wanker. | 0:41:15 | 0:41:17 | |
I'm not going to lie, that could have gone better. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:26 | |
250 years I've been visiting her! | 0:41:26 | 0:41:29 | |
Five minutes with you and she's threatening to castrate people | 0:41:29 | 0:41:32 | |
and accusing me of onanism. | 0:41:32 | 0:41:34 | |
Accusing you of what? | 0:41:34 | 0:41:37 | |
Masturbation. | 0:41:37 | 0:41:39 | |
This whole business really makes me doubt you. | 0:41:39 | 0:41:42 | |
Am I just the latest in a long line of dead girls who, | 0:41:42 | 0:41:46 | |
who you lean on and who trust you and who you lie to? | 0:41:46 | 0:41:50 | |
CLATTERING | 0:41:50 | 0:41:52 | |
Sorry, couldn't help overhearing. | 0:41:54 | 0:41:55 | |
I was just down there looking for something for...ten minutes. | 0:41:55 | 0:41:59 | |
-Why are you dressed like that? -I'm only saving the day! | 0:41:59 | 0:42:03 | |
Covering Tom's shift. | 0:42:03 | 0:42:05 | |
-I used to do bar work back in the old student days. -Where is Tom? | 0:42:05 | 0:42:09 | |
Yeah, a little bit awkward, that. Erm, I think he's left. | 0:42:09 | 0:42:13 | |
Left what? The job? | 0:42:13 | 0:42:15 | |
No. The house. | 0:42:15 | 0:42:16 | |
He said something about it not working out, trying to be human. | 0:42:16 | 0:42:20 | |
And then he packed a bag and left. Maybe it's for the best. | 0:42:20 | 0:42:22 | |
Like you said yourself, Hal, it was getting a little bit cramped. | 0:42:22 | 0:42:26 | |
Oh, yeah, it's all coming back to me now. | 0:42:28 | 0:42:30 | |
SMASH! | 0:42:32 | 0:42:33 | |
I will pay for that, obviously. | 0:42:33 | 0:42:36 | |
-Tom? Are you in there? -No. | 0:43:02 | 0:43:04 | |
-How did you know I was 'ere? -We know how much McNair meant to you, Tom. | 0:43:07 | 0:43:11 | |
-His grave seemed a good bet. -How are the funds going, Tom? | 0:43:11 | 0:43:15 | |
-For his gravestone? -I've changed me mind. I don't want a gravestone. | 0:43:16 | 0:43:19 | |
-I've spent the money. It's gone. -Tom, did Larry take all the money? | 0:43:19 | 0:43:22 | |
He were a surveyor. McNair. Did you know that? Before he got bit. | 0:43:22 | 0:43:27 | |
He never told me. I had to find it out. He was a success. | 0:43:28 | 0:43:32 | |
And then he turned into a werewolf. | 0:43:34 | 0:43:35 | |
And he ended up living in the woods in a van. | 0:43:35 | 0:43:38 | |
-And raising a son who was courageous and motivated and generous. -No. | 0:43:38 | 0:43:43 | |
Larry was right. | 0:43:43 | 0:43:44 | |
It's a waste of time wolves trying to better themselves and fit in. | 0:43:44 | 0:43:48 | |
This is where we always end up. In the woods, poaching rabbits. | 0:43:48 | 0:43:51 | |
This is as good as it gets for us. | 0:43:51 | 0:43:53 | |
Tom, you have one night a month to worry about. | 0:43:53 | 0:43:56 | |
-You're the closest to human of all of us. -Yeah, I used to think that too. | 0:43:56 | 0:44:00 | |
Then Larry put me straight. The wolf never sleeps. | 0:44:00 | 0:44:03 | |
-He's always there, inside me, making me dumb. -Tom! | 0:44:03 | 0:44:06 | |
That is utter nonsense. | 0:44:08 | 0:44:09 | |
And if that's what Larry's been telling you, then he is despicable. | 0:44:09 | 0:44:12 | |
No, it's good. All this time I thought I was the problem. | 0:44:12 | 0:44:15 | |
But it's not my fault, it's the wolf. So it's OK, innit? | 0:44:15 | 0:44:18 | |
-Let's say that's true. -Hal! What are you..? -No! | 0:44:23 | 0:44:26 | |
Let's say you have a monster inside you. All the time. | 0:44:26 | 0:44:30 | |
Pulling at your strings. Tormenting you. Itching to see you fail... | 0:44:30 | 0:44:35 | |
Well, join the club! Come on in! | 0:44:36 | 0:44:39 | |
Because if you do, if all of that is true, | 0:44:39 | 0:44:41 | |
then this is where you prove your worth. | 0:44:41 | 0:44:44 | |
By fighting it. By defying it. By proving it wrong. | 0:44:44 | 0:44:48 | |
By standing toe to toe with it every day and spitting in its face. | 0:44:48 | 0:44:53 | |
Did Larry tell you he lost his wife and his job because of the wolf? | 0:44:53 | 0:44:56 | |
Tom, whatever Larry's problems are, | 0:44:56 | 0:44:57 | |
you can be damn sure they're nothing to do with him being a werewolf | 0:44:57 | 0:45:00 | |
and everything to do with him being a failure. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:03 | |
You are nothing like him. | 0:45:03 | 0:45:05 | |
You are stronger in every way. | 0:45:05 | 0:45:08 | |
You are a good man. The best I've ever known. | 0:45:08 | 0:45:11 | |
Not a success though, am I? | 0:45:11 | 0:45:13 | |
Yes, you are. By all the measures that matter. | 0:45:14 | 0:45:19 | |
That's just a wishy-washy way of saying "failure", isn't it? | 0:45:19 | 0:45:21 | |
Look, I know both of you mean well. But this is for the best. | 0:45:21 | 0:45:24 | |
Really, it is. I know where I am in the woods. It's like coming home. | 0:45:24 | 0:45:27 | |
I don't have to dress up or learn stupid rules. | 0:45:27 | 0:45:30 | |
I can stop pretending I'm normal. | 0:45:30 | 0:45:33 | |
I don't have to try for anything more. This is enough for me. | 0:45:33 | 0:45:37 | |
It's enough. | 0:45:39 | 0:45:40 | |
-Out! -I'm sorry? | 0:46:01 | 0:46:02 | |
I'll spell it out: You. Gone. Now! | 0:46:02 | 0:46:05 | |
I'm guessing this is something to do with Tom, right? | 0:46:05 | 0:46:08 | |
Look, whatever he's chosen to believe has nothing to do with me. | 0:46:08 | 0:46:12 | |
We both know he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. | 0:46:12 | 0:46:15 | |
-You've got five minutes to pack your case. -But this is my home, Hal. | 0:46:15 | 0:46:18 | |
Do you think if you say something enough times it makes it true? | 0:46:18 | 0:46:22 | |
"This is my home"? "It wasn't me, it was the wolf"? | 0:46:22 | 0:46:25 | |
-You know nothing of the wolf. -But I know people. | 0:46:25 | 0:46:28 | |
I know the lies they tell themselves to cover up their own failings. | 0:46:28 | 0:46:31 | |
There's only one person to blame for what's happened to you. | 0:46:31 | 0:46:34 | |
-And he's standing right in front of me. -Shut your mouth, | 0:46:34 | 0:46:38 | |
you arrogant little shit. You don't know me. You don't scare me either. | 0:46:38 | 0:46:42 | |
I should. | 0:46:42 | 0:46:43 | |
Because there is something within me that I've been holding back. | 0:46:43 | 0:46:47 | |
And it so wants to be free. | 0:46:47 | 0:46:49 | |
-And what you did to Tom has given it the perfect excuse. -Woooooo(!) | 0:46:49 | 0:46:54 | |
This is your chance, Larry, your only chance to be the wise man | 0:46:54 | 0:46:59 | |
who walks away and lives to see another day. | 0:46:59 | 0:47:02 | |
-You know how this ends? -What? -You. Here. In a tent. | 0:47:38 | 0:47:44 | |
You know how this ends? Mary. | 0:47:46 | 0:47:48 | |
She gave up the fight, she let it overwhelm her. | 0:47:50 | 0:47:53 | |
-Now she's all alone and mad as a badger. -I'm nothing like her. -Yeah. | 0:47:53 | 0:47:58 | |
Neither am I - yet. I bet she didn't plan on ending up like that, either. | 0:47:58 | 0:48:03 | |
You've got to stay part of something, y'know? | 0:48:07 | 0:48:10 | |
You've got to stay...anchored. | 0:48:11 | 0:48:13 | |
And it's OK for you because, well, you can be seen and do stuff. | 0:48:15 | 0:48:20 | |
Whereas the only thing I can be part of is the "Tom, Hal and Alex" gang. | 0:48:20 | 0:48:23 | |
-So I'd be coming home for you? -Yeah. | 0:48:23 | 0:48:27 | |
Yeah, I'm just going to put it out there. | 0:48:28 | 0:48:32 | |
I want you to come back because... | 0:48:32 | 0:48:34 | |
..well, because Mary's scared the shit out of me. | 0:48:36 | 0:48:39 | |
And I'm scared that without you two that... | 0:48:40 | 0:48:43 | |
Well, that's going to be me | 0:48:43 | 0:48:45 | |
crouched over a bog watching other people shag. | 0:48:45 | 0:48:49 | |
Long story. And it's about you as well. | 0:48:49 | 0:48:53 | |
You're the best out of all of us, Tom. You just don't realise it. | 0:48:54 | 0:48:58 | |
-I've got a surprise for you. -Well, there's a...coincidence. | 0:49:02 | 0:49:07 | |
Hello, Alex. | 0:49:09 | 0:49:11 | |
Hal was just telling me how truly sorry he is for this whole business. | 0:49:11 | 0:49:15 | |
It was really quite moving. | 0:49:15 | 0:49:17 | |
Mary... | 0:49:17 | 0:49:18 | |
..you don't want to do this. | 0:49:20 | 0:49:21 | |
Why do people always say that? | 0:49:21 | 0:49:24 | |
-This is exactly what I want to do, which is why I'm doing it. -Mary. | 0:49:24 | 0:49:29 | |
I am eternally grateful to you | 0:49:29 | 0:49:31 | |
for the years you've dedicated to my wellbeing. | 0:49:31 | 0:49:33 | |
Oh, my God, do you ever listen to yourself? | 0:49:33 | 0:49:36 | |
It's like the shipping forecast took a shit in your ear. | 0:49:36 | 0:49:39 | |
You were my rock. You helped me stay clean for so many years. | 0:49:39 | 0:49:42 | |
That is worth more to me than I can say! | 0:49:42 | 0:49:45 | |
Yeah, but it didn't last for ever, did it? | 0:49:45 | 0:49:47 | |
So then you drink again and then you're clean again, | 0:49:47 | 0:49:50 | |
and then you drink again. | 0:49:50 | 0:49:52 | |
On and on and on and on. How long until you kill again, Hal? | 0:49:52 | 0:49:56 | |
How many lives will I be saving when I kill you today? | 0:49:57 | 0:50:00 | |
Oh. | 0:50:33 | 0:50:35 | |
My little girl's all grown up. | 0:50:35 | 0:50:37 | |
But I've been doing this for a very long time. | 0:50:38 | 0:50:41 | |
It's all right, I've got it, I think! | 0:50:49 | 0:50:52 | |
You can just run off, you know. | 0:50:52 | 0:50:54 | |
-We've got this. -What? | 0:50:54 | 0:50:57 | |
I said, "We have got this." | 0:50:57 | 0:51:00 | |
He's our responsibility now. | 0:51:00 | 0:51:02 | |
We'll make sure he doesn't kill again. Won't we, Tom? | 0:51:02 | 0:51:06 | |
Absolutely. Can we just wrap this up now, please? | 0:51:06 | 0:51:08 | |
Oh, no. He needs to suffer. | 0:51:08 | 0:51:10 | |
Every day he fights with the monster he might become. | 0:51:10 | 0:51:13 | |
You think that isn't suffering? | 0:51:13 | 0:51:15 | |
You've had centuries of making him your problem. I know it hurts. | 0:51:15 | 0:51:20 | |
And I know that your heart is breaking. But it's time to let go. | 0:51:20 | 0:51:25 | |
He's our problem now. | 0:51:26 | 0:51:28 | |
It's OK. I'm fine. Don't worry about me! | 0:51:37 | 0:51:40 | |
Don't worry. | 0:51:40 | 0:51:41 | |
So. What now? | 0:51:55 | 0:51:56 | |
-I guess you don't have to keep coming back here -any more. No. | 0:51:57 | 0:52:00 | |
I think it's high time for a new country. | 0:52:02 | 0:52:05 | |
And maybe a whole new personality. | 0:52:05 | 0:52:08 | |
Yeah, I could be a ditsy tourist. | 0:52:08 | 0:52:11 | |
Or a crazy eco-warrior. | 0:52:11 | 0:52:13 | |
Go scare the shit out of some loggers in the Amazon. | 0:52:13 | 0:52:16 | |
He's not a bad man. Not any more. | 0:52:18 | 0:52:22 | |
Where have I heard that before? Oh, yes. | 0:52:22 | 0:52:25 | |
It was me for 250 years. | 0:52:25 | 0:52:28 | |
Right. Why don't we just try and leave this on a civil note, hmm? | 0:52:28 | 0:52:32 | |
How's that sound? | 0:52:32 | 0:52:33 | |
Goodbye, Lady Mary. It's certainly been an experience. | 0:52:39 | 0:52:44 | |
I hope you know what you're taking on. | 0:52:44 | 0:52:47 | |
Cos the man that killed me isn't gone. He's just sleeping. | 0:52:47 | 0:52:50 | |
And he's a very good liar. | 0:52:50 | 0:52:51 | |
How long until you're the one holding the stake? | 0:52:53 | 0:52:56 | |
So he just upped and left? | 0:53:07 | 0:53:09 | |
-I'll be honest, Tom. I didn't leave him a lot of choice. -Good riddance. | 0:53:09 | 0:53:14 | |
He was a bit of a wrong un, wasn't he? I've been a bit of an idiot. | 0:53:14 | 0:53:18 | |
-Sorry, Hal. -You've nothing to apologise for. -No, I have. | 0:53:18 | 0:53:21 | |
I let him get to me. The wolf ain't holding me back. | 0:53:21 | 0:53:23 | |
Nothing's holding me back. I've just got to try harder, that's all. | 0:53:23 | 0:53:27 | |
-I can be anything I want to be. We all can. -That's quite an insight. | 0:53:27 | 0:53:30 | |
-Maybe I should spend some time in the woods. -No, you don't want to do that. | 0:53:30 | 0:53:33 | |
It's crap, damp and itchy. That's why I came home, really. | 0:53:33 | 0:53:36 | |
-I needed a shower. -Of course it is. -Hal, while I've got you, mate. | 0:53:36 | 0:53:40 | |
-That job opportunity. Is it still open? -Assistant manager? | 0:53:40 | 0:53:43 | |
-That's the bunny. -It's yours if you want it, Tom. | 0:53:43 | 0:53:47 | |
Well, I'll have my people call your people and set something up. | 0:53:47 | 0:53:51 | |
-You do that. -Mary didn't know you like we know you, Hal. | 0:53:51 | 0:53:55 | |
You're a good bloke. | 0:53:55 | 0:53:57 | |
Thank you. | 0:53:57 | 0:53:58 | |
'This is your chance, Larry, your only chance to be the wise man...' | 0:54:02 | 0:54:06 | |
who walks away and lives to see another day. | 0:54:06 | 0:54:10 | |
-So. We're more alike than I thought. -We are nothing alike. | 0:54:15 | 0:54:19 | |
When you look at me you see the monster you hide. | 0:54:19 | 0:54:21 | |
You believe whatever you want. Just go. | 0:54:21 | 0:54:23 | |
I'm a little too wild for your liking, aren't I? | 0:54:23 | 0:54:25 | |
A little too unpredictable, a little too...complete. | 0:54:25 | 0:54:28 | |
It's clearly helped you make such a success of your life(!) | 0:54:28 | 0:54:30 | |
Didn't you tell Tom all that stuff was unimportant? | 0:54:30 | 0:54:33 | |
Instead I've got no struggle, no tug of war. Just one voice. One life. | 0:54:33 | 0:54:36 | |
One me. Seeing that's got to hurt. | 0:54:36 | 0:54:39 | |
-I strongly suggest you take a step backwards. -You know what? | 0:54:39 | 0:54:43 | |
I think you're just one big PR exercise. You think I'm a fraud? | 0:54:43 | 0:54:47 | |
Well, I guess you'd know the signs. "I'll huff and I'll puff!" Wooo(!) | 0:54:47 | 0:54:51 | |
Come on, let's see this Big Bad Hal that's got everyone so scared. | 0:54:51 | 0:54:54 | |
-You don't know what you're doing. -Maybe I do. Maybe I want this. | 0:54:54 | 0:54:56 | |
Maybe I want to see the monster. Come on. Let him out. Let's play. | 0:54:56 | 0:55:00 | |
If he's even real! You've got the others fooled. | 0:55:00 | 0:55:02 | |
It's not exactly hard, is it? A slag and a retard. | 0:55:02 | 0:55:05 | |
You want to talk to the real me? | 0:55:07 | 0:55:08 | |
Hello, Larry. Here I am. Did you want to speak to me? | 0:55:15 | 0:55:18 | |
Hello? Hello! | 0:55:20 | 0:55:21 | |
MOBILE PHONE RINGS | 0:55:37 | 0:55:41 | |
Hello? | 0:55:51 | 0:55:53 | |
I believe I have some work for you. | 0:55:53 | 0:55:55 | |
I'll be right over. | 0:56:02 | 0:56:04 | |
MARY: 'How long until you kill again, Hal?' | 0:56:20 | 0:56:22 | |
Bobby. Excellent. | 0:56:29 | 0:56:31 | |
Mr Rook always says that I'm a savage and deadly predator. | 0:56:33 | 0:56:37 | |
There is no Ian. There is only Crumb. | 0:56:37 | 0:56:40 | |
CACKLING | 0:56:40 | 0:56:42 | |
Let's do this. | 0:56:42 | 0:56:43 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:57:07 | 0:57:10 |