Mr Khan's Niece Citizen Khan


Mr Khan's Niece

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Welcome to Sparkhill, Birmingham, the capital of British Pakistan.

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They all know me!

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Do you like my suit?

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Number one! Citizen Khan.

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Greetings, my boob-tube followers.

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Now, many of you have been messaging me saying,

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"Mr Khan, you are our community leader,

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"everyone turns to you for guidance

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"on matters both moral and spiritual.

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"So when are you going to do the cinnamon challenge?"

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Well, today is the day, yes.

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Apparently, you have to eat some cinnamon without drinking anything.

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Easy-peasy, huh?

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Now, most people use a teaspoon.

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Not me.

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I'm Pakistani, ah? We can handle our spices.

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Look at that. So, here we go.

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Get some there.

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Ah-ha!

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Woohoo! And down the hatch!

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HE COUGHS AND WHEEZES

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HE GASPS

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Ah! Eurgh!

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Ah! Eurgh!

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LAUGHTER

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I don't get it.

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-It's a thing we boob-tubers do.

-Why?

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Because then people go and click on it and watch you doing it.

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Why?

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LAUGHTER

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How should I know? It's the internet, Riaz,

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-This is how everything works nowadays.

-Oh, OK.

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It's all about getting as many hits as possible.

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One person got 48 million views for this.

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Wow! How many did you get?

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That's not important.

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LAUGHTER

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Now just film me for my new, exciting poster - behind the scenes

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at the mosque committee meeting.

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-Get my best side, ah?

-OK.

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Salaam alaikum, Mr Khan.

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Hello, Dave.

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LAUGHTER

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Are you here for the mosque committee meeting?

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Yes, that's right. I'm going to be filming it for my boob-tube channel.

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Oh, no, sorry, you can't do that. Data protection, I'm afraid.

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-What?

-Well, I did send you an e-mail about it.

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I never get any of your e-mails, Dave.

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I think my computer must have some kind of ginger filter.

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That's not a thing.

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Well, you say that,

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but I never get any e-mails from Chris Evans or Mick Hucknall either.

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LAUGHTER

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-Shall we start the meeting?

-Yes, OK.

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Thanks for... Thanks for coming, everyone.

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As you know, we're here to talk about ideas

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for the upcoming Muslim Day.

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Now, who...? Who wants to start the ball rolling?

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Anyone else?

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LAUGHTER

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-Mr Khan.

-Oh! Thank you, Dave.

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See, I think the most important thing to consider is

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why we're doing this.

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Well, Muslim Day is about educating people,

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showing them what Islam is really all about.

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-I'm hoping to organise some interesting lectures.

-Lectures?!

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Borrrring!

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This is Sparkhill, Dave. Not University College Coxbridge.

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Well, I suppose you've got a better idea.

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-Of course I have.

-Oh! What is it?

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LAUGHTER

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Thank you, Amjad.

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Well, how about...

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-A Muslim Fun Day.

-A Muslim what?!

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A Fun Day.

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You know, one of those churchy-fetey things

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that you white people do, ah?

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-But with some Muslim thingamajigs thrown in instead.

-For example?

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Pin the beard on the imam!

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Alcohol-free bottle tombola!

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Halal candyfloss! Guess who's under the burqa!

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People will love it. Trust me, Dave.

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I know what the public wants.

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I was hoping we might be able to take the opportunity to focus

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on the role of women in modern Islam.

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Why?

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Well, we want to encourage women

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to take a more prominent role in society.

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-Do we?

-Yes, of course.

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We want to get more Muslim women into positions of power.

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Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave!

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Muslim women have got quite enough power already.

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You don't want to give them any more. It'll just confuse them.

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Well, as chairman of the mosque committee,

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it's ultimately my decision

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and I happen to think that women's rights

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are far more important than some silly sideshows.

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-You haven't heard the best one yet. SIGHING:

-Go on.

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Bouncy mosque.

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LAUGHTER

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Like a bouncy castle but with minarets.

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-That's hardly appropriate.

-Why not?

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A bouncy mosque is just like any other mosque.

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You have to take your shoes off first.

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LAUGHTER

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And it helps you get higher and closer to God.

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-Yes.

-You see?

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I've got the backing of the mosque committee already, Dave, ah?

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Mohammed, here, he's on side.

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So is Mohammed, and Mohammed. Oh, and look!

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Even Mohammed is too.

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LAUGHTER

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No, no, no. Hang on a minute!

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Why don't you just put your money where your mouth is, ah?

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What?!

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I do my thing and you do yours, and whoever gets the most people

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can be chairman of the mosque committee, eh?

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But I'm already chairman of the mosque committee.

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HE MIMICS CHICKEN CLUCKING

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Look, it's not a competition. We're all on the same side.

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HE CLUCKS LOUDER

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Right, let's do it!

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Ha! Clucking brilliant! Bwark!

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LAUGHTER

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Right, Muslim Day starts in an hour.

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-Come on, jaldi, jaldi.

-Nearly ready.

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Traditional Pakistani food

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-for a traditional Pakistani stall, right?

-Uh-huh.

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What have you got?

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-Pizza.

-How is that Pakistani?

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Pakora topping.

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LAUGHTER

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Can someone listen to my "being a working Muslim mum" speech?

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-I need to practise.

-Shazia?

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Dave asked me to contribute to his Women In Islam event.

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How could you do this to me, Shazia?

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Siding with the gingers,

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instead of your own flesh and blood?

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You won't find a proper Pakistani man

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encouraging the empowerment of women.

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It would be like turkeys voting for Christmas.

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Ladoo, I've written bullet points of your speech on flash cards

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and arranged them in order.

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-Thanks, budhoo.

-That's OK, ladoo.

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Oh, wait. Can I call you ladoo, or is it demeaning to women?

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-It's fine.

-Phew!

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LAUGHTER

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What do you think you're doing, Amjad?

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I thought Shazia would be interested in the Women's Day.

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Why are you trying to destroy my Muslim Day?

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I only get one shot at this, you know.

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-That's not strictly true.

-What?

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You see, the thing is, we're all Muslim.

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-Right.

-So technically, for us, every day is a Muslim day.

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LAUGHTER

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Or as we Muslims call it, a day.

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LAUGHTER

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I want a word with you.

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-Oh, hello, sweetie.

-When were you going to tell me about this?

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Ah, now.

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About those pictures, see, I thought,

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Miss Bumbum was a Vietnamese restaurant.

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LAUGHTER

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I was going to take you out for a meal.

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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-I'm talking about this e-mail from your sister.

-Oh, yes, that.

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-Who's Miss Bumbum?

-I don't know!

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What e-mail?

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She sent an e-mail last month

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saying she wants your niece, Shabana, to come and stay.

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-Right.

-But we can't have your niece to stay!

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It's too disruptive. And we haven't got the space.

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But I thought she could have Alia's bedroom

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now that she's at university.

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No.

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Anyway, I'm busy at work,

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and there's no-one here to look after her.

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-Of course, I understand.

-So you'll reply, then.

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I already replied.

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-Oh, what did you tell her?

-I said it's OK.

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LAUGHTER

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-What?! Without even discussing it?

-Dad, you can't do things like that.

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Idiot!

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Look, it's the school holidays and her mother's gone to Pakistan.

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You mean she's disappeared on one of her shopping trips again?

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Your sister's never taken responsibility for that girl.

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She's always palming her off on someone, and now it's our turn.

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That's not true, sweetie, she's a very caring and generous person.

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Is she paying you to look after Shabana?

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LAUGHTER

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It's not payment!

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It's just room and boarding at special discount rate.

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-Oh, my God! Why...?

-Now, wait a minute.

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All right, my sister's a little bit difficult,

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but could I really turn Shabana away?

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Our niece? Your cousin?

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And whatever she is to you?

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-You're right, I'm sorry.

-That's OK.

-When's she arriving?

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What's the date?

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-23rd.

-Today. DOORBELL RINGS

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LAUGHTER

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Well, you'll have to look after her today,

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because we are all going to support Shazia and Women In Islam.

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Oh, not you, too.

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Look, what's the problem?

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She's stayed with us before and she was very quiet.

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-That was ten years ago!

-I know.

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I took her and Alia on the steam railway to Chh-Llandudno.

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You forgot about her and left her on the train.

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I told you she was very quiet.

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LAUGHTER

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Look, she'll be no trouble.

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Shabana is a very sweet, innocent little girl.

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Here she is.

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Sup?

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Salaam alaikum.

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You remember me? It's Uncle Mr Khan.

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Oh, I remember you, all right.

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-That's nice. And your auntie?

-Hello, beti.

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And Naani.

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No way! I thought you were dead.

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LAUGHTER

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We've all thought that about her at some point, haven't we?

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And here's your cousin Shazia. And Amjad.

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-Have I got something on my face?

-No.

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Apart from the messy bits of metal.

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Don't worry about him, ah? He's not a proper relative.

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So, what kind of things would you like to do while you're here?

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I don't know.

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Auntie could take you to the safari park.

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Feed the penguins.

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Take Naani. Feed the lions as well.

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LAUGHTER

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Do you fancy coming with me

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to the Women In Islam event at the community centre?

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-SHE LAUGHS

-Good one.

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Oh, what, like, really?!

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Don't you think it's important to empower women?

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Yeah, I think feminism is basically just for plain girls. No offence.

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LAUGHTER

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-I think we'd better go.

-OK.

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Shabana, there must be something you'd like to do.

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I thought I might go to this place in Moseley and get a tat.

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A what?

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A tattoo.

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Yeah, I want to get a big one going right up my leg and across my butt.

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Anything else?

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A couple of my friends are down in a squat in London.

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-Could you drive me down there?

-I don't think so.

-Oh, what?

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Because you think I'm a respectable Pakistani Muslim girl?

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No, I'm pretty sure I don't think that.

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LAUGHTER

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Let me talk to her. I think she just needs a motherly touch.

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Hello, Shabana.

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This is your auntie speaking.

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We don't usually have tattoos or go to squats in Sparkhill.

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-Why don't I make you some of my famous pakoras instead?

-Oh, yeah.

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Mum told me about your famous pakoras.

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She said they make great doorstops.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooooh!

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She's all yours.

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No!

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Make sure you don't lose her this time!

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Ha!

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LAUGHTER

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-ANNOUNCER:

-'Welcome to Mr Khan's Muslim Fun Day.

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'Hope you're having a great time.

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'Thank you, Mr Khan.'

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-Now, aren't you glad you came?

-Um, no.

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Oh, hello, Dave. Or should I say loser? Ha-ha.

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Looks like my Muslim Day is turning out to be a big hit.

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Muslim Day is for everyone, Mr Khan. It's not about me or you.

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Of course, Dave. You're absolutely right.

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Here, have a balloon.

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LAUGHTER

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Shabana, don't play with that, beti.

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Huh. This is so lame.

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Don't listen to her. Look! Everyone is loving it.

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Look, we've got a bouncy mosque.

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Pin the beard on the imam.

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LAUGHTER

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How did you get so many people? There was no money for advertising.

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Ah, well. That would be telling.

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CALL TO PRAYER: 'I'd LOVE you to come to Mr Khan's Muslim Fun Day.

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'This Wednesday at the community centre.'

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So, Dave, tell us...

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How's your...

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HE YAWNS LOUDLY ..snoozefest going?

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I'm sure it'll pick up once my celebrity guest speaker arrives.

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Ha-ha. And who's that?

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Some hairy-faced woman

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from the University of Wolverhampton

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in dungarees and a degree in

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"Boo-hoo, it's so hard being a lady."

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It's Baroness Warsi,

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the first Muslim woman to serve as a Cabinet minister.

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-Oh, that's not a big deal.

-We'll see, won't we?

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She's appearing in the community centre in ten minutes.

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OK, everyone, Baroness Warsi will be here any moment.

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Shazia and I will be the welcoming committee,

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so we'll go outside and greet her,

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and then we'll come inside and do the talks.

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I'm so excited.

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Me too.

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LAUGHTER

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Wow, looks like everyone's in here.

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-Who's that at the front?

-The press.

-I don't believe it!

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Dave's going to get his picture in the papers

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with Lady Baron Warsi.

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And he's going to be on the radio.

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She'll probably invite him to have tea on the terrace

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-at the House of Lords too.

-What?

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And luckily, the weather has been kind to us,

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as it doesn't A PEER to be raining.

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DAVE LAUGHS

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Because Baroness Warsi's a peer in the House of... Never mind.

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I need to get up there.

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But you know nothing about women in Islam.

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-Come on, beti.

-Hey!

-Excuse me, thank you.

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Excuse me, thank you very much. Thank you.

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-Hang on, Dave. Hang on.

-Mr Khan.

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Dad, what are you doing?

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I'm sorry to interrupt,

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but I had something important that I wanted to share with Shazia

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-and everyone here, even Dave.

-What?

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Now, I admit that before today,

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I was a bit negative about the whole Women In Islam thing.

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I mean, I was.

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-I pooh-poohed it, didn't I, Dave?

-Yes.

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But then something happened that changed my mind.

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Do you know what it was?

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Was it when a lot more people wanted to come to my thing than to yours?

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LAUGHTER

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It wasn't, but it hurts that you would think that.

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It was when I looked into the eyes of my young niece here...

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..a shy, sweet, innocent Muslim girl...

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LAUGHTER

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..who has her whole life still ahead of her.

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And I realised that these messages of empowerment

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can show someone like Shabana here

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that she can be whatever she wants to be.

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She can do whatever she wants to do.

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AUDIENCE MURMURS AGREEMENT

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And that there are no limits on her

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as a woman. Or...

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..as a Muslim.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-What a load of crap!

-Huh?

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He won't let me do anything I want to do. In fact, he forbids it.

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No, I don't!

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He says what I want isn't suitable

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for respectable Pakistani Muslim girl.

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Hang on a minute, ah?

0:17:300:17:32

And he doesn't care about women's issues.

0:17:320:17:35

He tried to stop his wife coming here today

0:17:350:17:36

so that she could stay at home making pakoras.

0:17:360:17:39

No, I didn't!

0:17:390:17:40

He tried to make ME stay at home and make pakoras as well.

0:17:400:17:43

No!

0:17:450:17:46

He makes his old mother-in-law who's, like, 100 or something,

0:17:460:17:49

stay up all night making pakoras.

0:17:490:17:51

AUDIENCE VOICES DISAGREEMENT

0:17:510:17:54

She wanted to!

0:17:540:17:56

He's not part of the solution, he's part of the problem.

0:17:570:18:00

He's trying to silence women's voices.

0:18:000:18:02

Just ask my plain-looking cousin.

0:18:020:18:05

LAUGHTER

0:18:050:18:07

Who would like to have a go on my bouncy mosque?

0:18:070:18:12

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

0:18:120:18:14

Baroness Warsi's here!

0:18:140:18:15

What the flipping heck was all that about?!

0:18:220:18:25

Why did you say all those things?

0:18:250:18:26

Well, it's true, isn't it?

0:18:260:18:28

You won't let me do what I want.

0:18:280:18:29

Because what you want is to be covered in tattoos

0:18:290:18:32

and lying down on a mattress in some squatty SQUATTY!

0:18:320:18:35

LAUGHTER

0:18:350:18:37

What are you doing? Don't film this, you idiot!

0:18:370:18:41

-Sorry.

-Give me that!

0:18:410:18:42

-You just stay here and keep her out of trouble.

-OK.

0:18:420:18:46

-Baroness Warsi.

-Hi.

0:18:540:18:56

Hi. I'm Shazia. Shazia Khan.

0:18:560:18:59

Actually, Shazia Malik, but I don't use my married name.

0:18:590:19:03

I mean, he doesn't own me.

0:19:030:19:05

It's not the Middle Ages. Ha!

0:19:050:19:07

LAUGHTER

0:19:070:19:09

Can I just say I'm a huge fan?

0:19:090:19:11

Thank you.

0:19:110:19:12

I'll show you through to the community centre

0:19:120:19:14

and we can get started.

0:19:140:19:15

Wait, wait, wait, wait!

0:19:150:19:17

Lady Baron, Lady Baron,

0:19:170:19:19

Mr Khan, community leader.

0:19:190:19:21

They all know me.

0:19:210:19:23

LAUGHTER

0:19:230:19:24

How about I get you a nice cup of tea?

0:19:240:19:27

Shazia, fetch a cup of tea for the Lady Baron.

0:19:270:19:29

I'm fine, thank you.

0:19:290:19:31

All right, how about a photo? Two community leaders side-by-side.

0:19:310:19:35

LAUGHTER

0:19:350:19:36

I'm so sorry. Just ignore him.

0:19:360:19:39

Dave, I need to show the Lady Byron

0:19:390:19:43

my Muslim women's bits.

0:19:430:19:44

LAUGHTER

0:19:440:19:46

Muslim Women's Day.

0:19:460:19:47

Muslim Women's Day?

0:19:470:19:49

-Yup!

-What, so all these stalls

0:19:500:19:52

are all about the empowerment of women?

0:19:520:19:54

Yup.

0:19:560:19:57

-LAUGHTER

-Go on, then.

0:19:570:19:59

OK. So, first of all, here we have take the beard off the Imam.

0:19:590:20:05

LAUGHTER

0:20:050:20:06

This is saying that Imams don't need to have beards.

0:20:060:20:10

So Muslim womens can be Imams too!

0:20:100:20:13

But if the woman's already got a beard, well,

0:20:130:20:17

that's a bonus.

0:20:170:20:18

LAUGHTER

0:20:180:20:20

Now, here we have the stocks,

0:20:200:20:21

representing how women used to be shackled.

0:20:210:20:25

But not any more!

0:20:250:20:26

Because we've got the balloons that says reach for the stars!

0:20:260:20:31

LAUGHTER

0:20:310:20:34

What about that?

0:20:340:20:36

Well, this is about empowerment, you see.

0:20:360:20:40

Womens can do man's jobs too!

0:20:400:20:44

So the man can just sit down and relax

0:20:450:20:47

and play with his sudoku.

0:20:470:20:49

LAUGHTER

0:20:490:20:50

Now, follow me, follow me, come on, come on.

0:20:500:20:52

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:20:520:20:54

Now, this might look like a bouncy mosque, but it's more than that.

0:20:540:20:58

This actually represents equality in Islam.

0:20:580:21:02

Men and women doing the bouncy-bouncy together!

0:21:020:21:07

LAUGHTER

0:21:070:21:09

It's amazing what you women can do these days!

0:21:090:21:12

Look at Mrs Warsi,

0:21:120:21:14

how she finds the time to be a Lady Baron

0:21:140:21:17

and also do the cooking and cleaning

0:21:170:21:20

is a lesson to you all!

0:21:200:21:23

Lady Baron, we are so proud of what you have achieved.

0:21:230:21:28

And even prouder of your husband for allowing you to do it!

0:21:280:21:33

LAUGHTER

0:21:330:21:34

What?!

0:21:340:21:35

He-he!

0:21:350:21:37

Hee-hee-hee!

0:21:370:21:40

Oh, help, help! Oh, twaddi! Twaddi! Help! Help!

0:21:420:21:46

Are you serious?

0:21:520:21:53

SQUEAKY HELIUM VOICE: Lady Baron, let me assure you,

0:21:550:21:59

unequivocally

0:21:590:22:01

and categorically,

0:22:010:22:04

I am deadly serious.

0:22:040:22:06

I would never treat estimable women in Islam

0:22:060:22:11

as a Mickey Mouse subject.

0:22:110:22:13

LAUGHTER

0:22:130:22:15

I think I've seen enough.

0:22:150:22:18

Oh, twaddi! No! Come back!

0:22:180:22:21

-No, wait, come back.

-Dad.

0:22:210:22:24

Ha! Idiot!

0:22:240:22:26

It's not my fault. It must have been Shabana.

0:22:260:22:28

Where is she?

0:22:280:22:30

-You were supposed to be looking after her.

-I left her with Riaz.

0:22:300:22:33

RIAZ YELLS

0:22:330:22:34

She tricked me.

0:22:360:22:37

She's getting a tattoo.

0:22:370:22:39

Find her!

0:22:390:22:40

Stop!

0:22:540:22:55

Get your filthy paws off that girl!

0:22:570:23:00

-Calm down, mate.

-Oh, my God!

0:23:000:23:03

You've defaced her forever with this hideous monstrosity!

0:23:030:23:08

LAUGHTER

0:23:090:23:11

It looks lovely on you, though.

0:23:140:23:16

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:23:160:23:18

Right, young lady, what do you think you're playing at?

0:23:200:23:24

I suppose it was you that put the helium in the bouncy mosque.

0:23:240:23:27

Everyone was laughing at me, you know.

0:23:280:23:30

You made me look like a complete idiot.

0:23:300:23:33

-I'm not used to that.

-Really?(!)

0:23:330:23:35

LAUGHTER

0:23:350:23:37

You've seen me now. I'm alive. You can go.

0:23:370:23:40

Don't you want to talk or anything?

0:23:410:23:44

You don't want to talk to me.

0:23:440:23:46

Yes, I do. I don't mind talking.

0:23:460:23:49

Really? About what?

0:23:490:23:52

Anything.

0:23:520:23:53

ANYTHING at all.

0:23:530:23:55

-OK...

-Mm.

-So, I think maybe I'm bisexual.

0:23:570:24:02

LAUGHTER

0:24:020:24:05

Same here. I'm bisexual too.

0:24:060:24:09

You're bisexual?

0:24:090:24:10

Yes. Twice a year.

0:24:100:24:12

Regular as clockwork.

0:24:120:24:14

That's not what bisexual means.

0:24:150:24:17

Isn't it?

0:24:190:24:20

Bisexual means you're attracted to both sexes.

0:24:200:24:23

Oh, that's great. I'm glad we had this chat.

0:24:230:24:25

See? I knew it!

0:24:250:24:28

No-one's interested in me. I'm just an inconvenience, an embarrassment.

0:24:280:24:31

-And I didn't even want to...

-Shhh. No, you're not.

0:24:310:24:34

Salaam alaikum.

0:24:350:24:36

LAUGHTER

0:24:360:24:38

It's fine.

0:24:380:24:40

I get it. No-one wants to be around me.

0:24:400:24:42

-Of course they do.

-Really?

0:24:420:24:45

-My mum doesn't want me.

-Yes, she does.

0:24:450:24:48

She's just misunderstood, like me.

0:24:480:24:51

I'm always being misunderstood.

0:24:510:24:54

It's a Khan family trait.

0:24:540:24:57

-I don't understand.

-See?

0:24:570:24:59

LAUGHTER

0:24:590:25:00

My whole life, she's never been interested in me.

0:25:000:25:03

She just swans off to Pakistan for months at a time

0:25:030:25:05

and palms me off on the neighbours.

0:25:050:25:07

Obviously, I'm so unbearable that

0:25:070:25:08

no-one would ever want to spend any time with me,

0:25:080:25:10

unless they're being paid for it.

0:25:100:25:12

That's not true.

0:25:120:25:14

I want to spend time with you.

0:25:140:25:16

Are you being paid?

0:25:160:25:18

Maybe.

0:25:180:25:19

Just go.

0:25:210:25:23

I'm not your responsibility.

0:25:230:25:24

But you're family.

0:25:240:25:26

I don't have a family.

0:25:260:25:28

Yes, you do.

0:25:280:25:29

We're your family.

0:25:290:25:31

We care about you very much.

0:25:310:25:35

Ever since you were a little girl.

0:25:350:25:37

When you lost me?

0:25:380:25:40

When I found you again.

0:25:400:25:42

At the lost property office at Swansea Station?

0:25:420:25:45

I came back for you, didn't I?

0:25:450:25:48

Like I did today.

0:25:480:25:49

I'll always come and find you.

0:25:490:25:51

Now, come on. Why don't you come home, ah?

0:25:530:25:57

Naani's making some food.

0:25:570:26:00

I mean, it won't be very nice,

0:26:000:26:02

but it'll cheer her up if we eat it,

0:26:020:26:04

and she needs cheering up because she'll be dead soon.

0:26:040:26:07

LAUGHTER

0:26:070:26:09

-OK.

-Good girl. Done.

0:26:090:26:11

Are you sure the rest of the family won't mind?

0:26:110:26:14

-I mean, I said some pretty mean things.

-Don't be silly.

0:26:140:26:17

The Khan family motto?

0:26:170:26:19

Forgive and forget. Ah? Chalo.

0:26:190:26:23

Thank you.

0:26:230:26:24

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

0:26:240:26:27

Here we are, one big, happy family.

0:26:330:26:36

I'm happy because I got to meet Baroness Warsi.

0:26:360:26:39

Shazia's happy because she got to do her boring women's speech. He-he!

0:26:390:26:43

And Mrs Khan's happy because she's got someone else to shout at.

0:26:430:26:47

And Naani's happy because she's not dead.

0:26:480:26:51

LAUGHTER

0:26:510:26:53

What about me, papa-ji?

0:26:530:26:54

I came home to see you, and I found HER in my room.

0:26:540:26:57

Alia, you came home

0:26:570:26:58

to get your washing done and ask me for some money.

0:26:580:27:01

Oh, yeah. Can I have some money?

0:27:010:27:04

LAUGHTER

0:27:040:27:05

Some things don't change, ah? Here you are.

0:27:050:27:09

And one for you.

0:27:090:27:10

Thank you. Because you're a member of the family now too, ah?

0:27:100:27:15

-Oh, thank you, Uncle.

-Hey, and you know the best thing?

0:27:150:27:18

She uploaded my brilliant speech up onto my boob-tube channel.

0:27:180:27:24

The mosque committee will definitely make me chairman

0:27:240:27:26

when they see this.

0:27:260:27:28

ON COMPUTER: 'Lady Baron.

0:27:280:27:29

# 'I am the Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse...

0:27:290:27:32

# 'I am the Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse,

0:27:320:27:35

# 'I am the Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse, the Mickey Mouse...' #

0:27:350:27:38

THEY LAUGH

0:27:380:27:40

Oh, twaddi!

0:27:400:27:42

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