Episode 2 Fleabag
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
This programme contains strong language and some scenes of a sexual nature | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
I opened the cafe with my friend Boo. Yeah, she's dead now. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
-My sister. -I have two degrees, a husband and a Burberry coat. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:13 | |
-I know what you were doing. -I was watching the news. | 0:00:13 | 0:00:16 | |
-Heard from Dad? -Nope. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:18 | |
All right, Dad? | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
Dad's way of coping with two motherless daughters | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures, | 0:00:22 | 0:00:24 | |
start fucking our godmother and eventually stop calling. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
It's very valuable, actually. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
-How much? -Thousands. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:29 | |
Can I have it? | 0:00:31 | 0:00:32 | |
No. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:33 | |
Please don't contact me | 0:00:33 | 0:00:34 | |
or turn up at my house drunk in your underwear. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:37 | |
-It won't work this time. -It will. | 0:00:37 | 0:00:39 | |
MUSIC: Sail by AWOLNATION | 0:00:47 | 0:00:51 | |
I think my period's coming. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:37 | |
DOORBELL CHIMES | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
O...K. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
Hi. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:46 | |
Are you all right? What's happened? Are you hurt? | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
-No. -Oh, good. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:50 | |
Nice haircut. | 0:01:52 | 0:01:53 | |
It's better. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:54 | |
Can I come in? | 0:01:58 | 0:01:59 | |
Why didn't you text? | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
Well, I just thought I'd pop by. | 0:02:01 | 0:02:02 | |
-Tell the truth. -I need to speak to Martin. -Martin? | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
-Martin. Martin! -Why on earth would you want to speak to... | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
-Martin? -Hello! Hello! My wife in my study! hello! | 0:02:08 | 0:02:12 | |
Give me two. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:13 | |
Gang bangs, Asian, I'd put a tenner on it. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
Finished. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
Well, hello, you. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
She wants to talk to you about something. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Oh, well, it must be my lucky day. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
You said she only likes to talk to people she fancies. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:29 | |
Ergh. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:31 | |
-Can you leave us? -Why? | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
He's organising your surprise birthday party. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
A... | 0:02:39 | 0:02:40 | |
You know I hate sur... | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
OK. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:43 | |
I have a week to organise that now. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:47 | |
Best of luck. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Nice top. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:50 | |
Ergh. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:51 | |
Thanks. Do you deal in sculptures as well as paintings and papier mache? | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
Depends on the quality of the piece. | 0:02:55 | 0:02:57 | |
Fuck me! | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
Hm... | 0:03:04 | 0:03:05 | |
-What a pair! -I know, right? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
Where d'you get this? | 0:03:09 | 0:03:10 | |
Oh, just a... | 0:03:10 | 0:03:12 | |
Stole it from a...market. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
It's quite a piece. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
Who's the artist? | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
Just a... | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
..market artist. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:21 | |
Huh. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
If I sell it, I take 10%. Deal? | 0:03:23 | 0:03:26 | |
Deal. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:27 | |
OK, well, | 0:03:27 | 0:03:28 | |
I'll get her photographed now. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:30 | |
Don't tell Claire, please. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
Or what? | 0:03:32 | 0:03:34 | |
Or I'll... | 0:03:34 | 0:03:35 | |
I'll... | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
You've got nothing on me, princess. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
Or I'll tell her you were watching gang bangs. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
Please don't do that again. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
I wasn't, by the way. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:51 | |
Ergh. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
Disappointing. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
Erm... | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
Where did you get that? | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
I brought it with me. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:17 | |
No, you didn't. Give it back. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
Tight. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
Patch things up with Harry? | 0:04:21 | 0:04:22 | |
Yeah, we're, erm... | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
We're engaged, so... | 0:04:24 | 0:04:25 | |
God! What? | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
No, we're not engaged! | 0:04:27 | 0:04:28 | |
No, he's back at the flat packing up all his stuff again. | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
Oh. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:32 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
He really... | 0:04:34 | 0:04:35 | |
..used to make you laugh. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:37 | |
He also used to say things like... | 0:04:37 | 0:04:40 | |
You're not like other girls. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:41 | |
You can... | 0:04:41 | 0:04:43 | |
..keep up. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:44 | |
I like Harry. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:47 | |
I liked his songs. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:48 | |
I admire how much Harry commits to our break-ups. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
I mean, this is a new detail, | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
but he does usually go the extra mile. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
A few times he's even cleaned the whole flat. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
HE SOBS | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
Like it's a crime scene. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
I've considered timing a break-up | 0:05:20 | 0:05:21 | |
for when the flat needs a bit of a going over. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
MUSIC PLAYS | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
I don't think this is working. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
What? | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
But he always leaves... | 0:05:37 | 0:05:40 | |
..him | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
to come back for. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:48 | |
Got to think about all the people I can have sex with now. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:51 | |
I'm not obsessed with sex, | 0:05:53 | 0:05:55 | |
I just can't stop thinking about it. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
The performance of it. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
The awkwardness of it. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
The drama of it. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
The moment you realise someone wants | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
your body. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Not so much the feeling of it. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:12 | |
Probably got about 48 hours before Harry comes back. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:18 | |
I should get on it. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:22 | |
I took half an hour trying to look nice | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
and I ended up looking amazing. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:28 | |
Just one of those days. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:29 | |
Gorgeous, freshfaced, new top, little bit sexy, | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
on my way to open my cafe and... | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
Oh, God. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:36 | |
Yeah, you check me out, chub-chub, | 0:06:36 | 0:06:39 | |
cos it's never going to happen. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:41 | |
Oh, God, he can't believe how attractive I am. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
Kind of worried I'm going to make a sex offender out of the poor guy. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
Here we go. This better be good. Here we go. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
-HE COUGHS: -Walk of shame. | 0:06:48 | 0:06:50 | |
-BELL RINGS -Oi! | 0:06:52 | 0:06:53 | |
Oh. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:08 | |
Dropped my cucumber. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:10 | |
Just dropped my... | 0:07:16 | 0:07:17 | |
Erm... Could I get a cheese sandwich to go, please? | 0:07:22 | 0:07:25 | |
Sure. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:26 | |
That'll be, er, £12.55, please. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:35 | |
London, eh? | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Thanks. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:38 | |
Where do I recognise her? Is she famous? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
Boo's death hit the papers. | 0:07:51 | 0:07:52 | |
Local cafe girl gets hit by bike | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
and a car | 0:07:54 | 0:07:55 | |
and another bike. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
Er, no. She, er... She used to work here. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
Oh. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:00 | |
I'm sorry, I don't have any change. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
The next man who walks in here is getting ridden to death. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:17 | |
-Dad! -Hi. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
Not ideal. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
Erm... | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
How are you, eh, | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
darling? Erm... | 0:08:26 | 0:08:27 | |
You busy? | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
A bit. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:31 | |
Well, I won't keep you, er... | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
I just wanted to talk about, er, you know, when you... | 0:08:34 | 0:08:37 | |
When you dropped in the other night. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
-OK. -I can't help thinking that I... | 0:08:39 | 0:08:43 | |
-We, er... -Yeah? | 0:08:43 | 0:08:44 | |
I know that we, er... | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
..don't have much of a chance to, er... | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
Did you take the sculpture? | 0:08:51 | 0:08:52 | |
Did you, erm... | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
..take the sculpture? | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
Did you take it? | 0:08:57 | 0:08:58 | |
No. | 0:09:01 | 0:09:02 | |
What sculpture? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:03 | |
Oh, right, fine, good. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
Good, you said no and... | 0:09:06 | 0:09:08 | |
..that means I can go. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
All right, great. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:12 | |
Oh... | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
Are you ha... Are you healthy? | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
WOMAN CHATTERS | 0:09:18 | 0:09:19 | |
Hey. Do you do, like, hot organic-y food? | 0:09:23 | 0:09:26 | |
Of course. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:28 | |
What would you like? | 0:09:28 | 0:09:29 | |
-Erm... -Like, risotto. -Yeah. | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
Sure. Grab a seat. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
WOMEN CHATTER | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Hey. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Hi. | 0:09:57 | 0:09:58 | |
Hey. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
Hey. | 0:10:00 | 0:10:01 | |
It's nice to see you. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
You, too. | 0:10:02 | 0:10:03 | |
Fucked me up the arse. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
What are you getting? | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
Oh, just these. For my... | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
..tiny, bleeding vagina. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
Hot. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:13 | |
-You? -Stock cubes. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:15 | |
Hot. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:16 | |
I hope it's a light flow. | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Oh, it never is. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
It never... | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
..is. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:24 | |
Listen, er, | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
you around later? | 0:10:28 | 0:10:29 | |
Er... | 0:10:29 | 0:10:30 | |
Yes, fucking yes, please, yes. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
Yes. | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
Cool. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:35 | |
Cool. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
Yes! | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
I'm so happy with my body now. | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
I don't have to define myself by how I look | 0:10:47 | 0:10:49 | |
because I've just got a fucking great body. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
-Yeah, I can do other stuff now! -That's so great! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
Mike wants to start trying for a baby. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:57 | |
-OK. -No... | 0:10:57 | 0:10:59 | |
I can't blow this body on a baby, Steph. | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
I'm going to have to leave him. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
THEY SCREAM | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
Oh, shit. Oh. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
That is not hygienic. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:10 | |
-Sorry. -Oh, gross. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:13 | |
We're leaving now. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:14 | |
I suppose you should meet Hillary. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
Two years ago, I... | 0:11:16 | 0:11:18 | |
OK. The most important thing is, if you don't like it, | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
-we can't take it back, OK? -OK. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:25 | |
Happy birthday. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:26 | |
I'm sorry, I panicked. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:27 | |
As long as I can wear it or eat it I'm happy. | 0:11:27 | 0:11:30 | |
You can do both of those things. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
Oh, my God, did you get me a... | 0:11:33 | 0:11:34 | |
-What is this? -I... | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
-What the... What is... -I don't know. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
-What is it? -Something to love. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:40 | |
She's beautiful! | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
You idiot! | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
Escape artist. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
I don't feel anything about guinea pigs, | 0:11:55 | 0:11:57 | |
they're pointless, | 0:11:57 | 0:11:58 | |
but Boo took Hillary very seriously as a gift | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
and, soon, everything became guinea pig-related. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:04 | |
This is an excellent one. | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
Drink? | 0:12:13 | 0:12:14 | |
Look, I'm, er, sorry about the mess. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
No problem. | 0:12:21 | 0:12:22 | |
-Do you want some prosciutto with that? -Mm. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
-Mm. -Mm. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
Oh. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:29 | |
So reliable. | 0:12:33 | 0:12:35 | |
Utterly inaccessible. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:36 | |
Relentlessly profound. | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
All he wants is to get you in the bath and ask questions like... | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
What are you afraid of? | 0:12:41 | 0:12:42 | |
And you find yourself saying things like... | 0:12:43 | 0:12:46 | |
I guess... | 0:12:46 | 0:12:48 | |
..losing the currency of youth. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:50 | |
Ask me a question. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:55 | |
When did you realise you were so good looking? | 0:12:57 | 0:13:00 | |
I knew I was different when I was about nine, | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
but shit got real around 11. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
Shit got real? | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
You know... | 0:13:08 | 0:13:09 | |
Aunts got weird. | 0:13:09 | 0:13:11 | |
I have another question. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
OK. | 0:13:17 | 0:13:18 | |
Do you ever feel lonely? | 0:13:19 | 0:13:20 | |
Yeah. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:24 | |
Of course. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
Do you? | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
Never. | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
Do you want some pineapple? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:35 | |
Yeah. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:39 | |
God, yeah! | 0:13:47 | 0:13:48 | |
Oh, they're so small! | 0:13:50 | 0:13:51 | |
They are so small! | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
-What? -They're so small! | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
-So... -Small! | 0:13:57 | 0:13:58 | |
God, they are so fucking tiny! | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
Yeah, I guess they're... | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Oh, God, they're hardly even there! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
I mean, where the fuck even are they? | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
Bit much. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
Excuse me! | 0:14:08 | 0:14:10 | |
Oh, yeah! | 0:14:14 | 0:14:15 | |
I'm having a Harry panic. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
Madame Ovary's telling me to run back to safe place, | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
I can make baby in safe place, | 0:14:21 | 0:14:22 | |
but you've got to ride it out. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Mustn't call Ha... | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
Thanks for coming. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:35 | |
That's OK. | 0:14:36 | 0:14:38 | |
Are you OK? | 0:14:38 | 0:14:39 | |
Your message sounded urgent. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Were you busy? | 0:14:44 | 0:14:45 | |
-No, I was in the interval... -Oh, cool. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
-..of Cats. -OK. -The musical. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
Was it good? | 0:14:50 | 0:14:51 | |
Really good, actually. | 0:14:51 | 0:14:52 | |
Really good. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:53 | |
-Sorry for interrupting. -No, that's OK. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
I, er... I got the feeling it wasn't going to end well for the cats, | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
so probably good to remember them like that before they all... | 0:15:00 | 0:15:04 | |
Sorry. Erm... | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
Are you OK? | 0:15:07 | 0:15:08 | |
Who were you with? | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
A work friend. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:12 | |
A girl. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:15 | |
I, erm... | 0:15:20 | 0:15:21 | |
I found this. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
Thanks. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:35 | |
I didn't realise I'd left it. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Why's your hair wet? | 0:15:43 | 0:15:44 | |
Don't look at me like that. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:48 | |
Like what? Like what? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
Look, I don't want to sound cold or cruel or... You know... | 0:15:50 | 0:15:53 | |
And I don't want to think I'm just off happy at the theatre | 0:15:53 | 0:15:56 | |
all the time, either, I'm not, | 0:15:56 | 0:15:57 | |
but... | 0:15:57 | 0:15:59 | |
I'm not going to... I just... | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
If this is about us getting back together, I was serious, | 0:16:01 | 0:16:03 | |
this time I'm not just going to come running back. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
I really just need some time away from... | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
I'm so glad you called. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
I'm so glad you picked up. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:14 | |
I've missed you. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:16 | |
I've missed you. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:20 | |
Oh, my gosh, you feel good. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:24 | |
I wish he'd just fuck me. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:28 | |
All he wants to do is make love. | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
Are you OK? | 0:16:30 | 0:16:31 | |
Yeah, I'm really good. I'm amazing. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
He's wasting me. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
I was once fucking this guy who would breathe on every thrust... | 0:16:36 | 0:16:40 | |
You're so young! You're so young! | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
I masturbate about that all the time. | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
I masturbate a lot these days. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
Especially when I'm bored. | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
Or angry. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:54 | |
Or upset. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:55 | |
Can we just...? | 0:16:55 | 0:16:56 | |
Or happy. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
Oh. Yeah. | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
Ah. | 0:16:59 | 0:17:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:02 | |
Amazing. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:03 | |
-Shall I? -No, could you just... | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
Just stay there. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
Ah. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:10 | |
No, don't. Just... | 0:17:10 | 0:17:12 | |
Ah. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:13 | |
Yeah. Sh, sh! Ah! | 0:17:13 | 0:17:15 | |
Yeah. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
Yes. Just... | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
Ah, just... | 0:17:19 | 0:17:21 | |
Ah, God. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:22 | |
Ah! | 0:17:24 | 0:17:26 | |
Oh! Oh! | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
Oh! | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
Ah! | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
Look, I think we should stop masturbating. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:47 | |
And don't say anything yet, I just... | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
I just think it might help us focus on each other. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
You know, be more present. | 0:17:57 | 0:17:59 | |
Really successful couples do it. | 0:17:59 | 0:18:01 | |
Erm... | 0:18:03 | 0:18:04 | |
I've hidden our vibrators. | 0:18:04 | 0:18:06 | |
Our? | 0:18:06 | 0:18:07 | |
I thought it might be fun. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:08 | |
To find them? | 0:18:08 | 0:18:09 | |
No, just to try and not... | 0:18:09 | 0:18:11 | |
..touch ourselves, to try and... | 0:18:12 | 0:18:15 | |
..save our touches... | 0:18:15 | 0:18:17 | |
..for each other. I mean, what do you think? | 0:18:17 | 0:18:20 | |
Well, I think you're being really sexy. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
-Don't! -Oh! I'm joking. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:25 | |
I never masturbate. | 0:18:25 | 0:18:27 | |
I don't know how. | 0:18:27 | 0:18:28 | |
Yeah, also, I thought we should try and surprise each other | 0:18:32 | 0:18:35 | |
once every day, just a, you know... | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
A sweet little something, just to keep it... | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
-You know? -Are you getting this out of a book? | 0:18:39 | 0:18:42 | |
I've already planned your first surprise, so... | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
Don't eat too much before dinner. | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
See you later. | 0:18:53 | 0:18:55 | |
And I will see you later, too. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:59 | |
DOOR OPENS | 0:19:05 | 0:19:06 | |
Oh. | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
Hi. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:11 | |
Just thought I'd pop by for some lunch. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
Bit weird. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:15 | |
Yes, well... | 0:19:15 | 0:19:16 | |
How are you? | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
Quiet day? | 0:19:22 | 0:19:23 | |
Yeah, I'm fine. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
You OK? You look stressed. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:26 | |
Well, I'm successful, so... | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
Do you have rye bread? | 0:19:30 | 0:19:31 | |
No, but I have some normal bread you can puke up after. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:35 | |
Great. | 0:19:35 | 0:19:37 | |
What do you want on it? | 0:19:37 | 0:19:38 | |
Oh, just tomatoes is fine. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
Just tomatoes? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:42 | |
Just a tomato sandwich? | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
Yes. Is there a problem? | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
No. | 0:19:46 | 0:19:47 | |
Listen, I don't want to know anything about this surprise party, | 0:19:49 | 0:19:52 | |
but, if you could just, erm, | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
have it at mine this Friday at 7:30, that'd be great. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:57 | |
I can organise it and act surprised | 0:19:57 | 0:20:00 | |
but, if you could just, erm... | 0:20:00 | 0:20:02 | |
Do you know what, why don't I just do it? | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
I can organise it, do the food, act surprised, | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
and just take it off your hands. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
-I mean, I can see that you're busy, so... -OK, if you want. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:12 | |
Well, I don't want to, but I think it would be easier for everyone | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
-if I could just... -OK. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:16 | |
I mean, I've done it, it's done. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
It's this Friday at 7:30 at mine. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
Great. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:23 | |
How behind are you? | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
If it's money that you need... | 0:20:30 | 0:20:31 | |
I don't need money. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
That'll be £25, please. | 0:20:34 | 0:20:35 | |
London... | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
Thanks. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:42 | |
GUINEA PIG SQUEAKS | 0:20:42 | 0:20:43 | |
Can't believe that thing's still alive. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
Oh, any news on Harry? | 0:20:48 | 0:20:50 | |
Yeah, we're back together. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
Oh, God, I can't keep up. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:53 | |
Hello! | 0:21:01 | 0:21:02 | |
Harry? | 0:21:04 | 0:21:05 | |
Oh. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
Shit. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:13 | |
Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise... | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
SHOWER RUNS | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
-Surprise! -Argh! | 0:22:06 | 0:22:08 | |
Argh! | 0:22:08 | 0:22:10 | |
It's me! It's me! It's me! | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
Why would you do that? I thought I was going to get raped! | 0:22:12 | 0:22:14 | |
I'm sorry! Baby, I'm sorry! I thought you wanted a surprise! | 0:22:14 | 0:22:17 | |
It was a ninja surprise! | 0:22:17 | 0:22:18 | |
Oh, my God, my heart! | 0:22:18 | 0:22:19 | |
I'm shaking so much! Oh, my God! | 0:22:19 | 0:22:21 | |
-Oh, my God! -Oh! -Oh, my God! | 0:22:23 | 0:22:26 | |
OK. It's OK. Are you OK? | 0:22:26 | 0:22:28 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:22:28 | 0:22:30 | |
Did you have a good day? | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
I did, yeah. Fine, thanks. I'm so sorry. | 0:22:32 | 0:22:34 | |
I'm sorry. I didn't think you were going to react like that. | 0:22:34 | 0:22:37 | |
I'm... | 0:22:37 | 0:22:39 | |
I'm sorry, it was a joke. | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
It was a good joke. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:42 | |
Jesus. | 0:22:45 | 0:22:46 | |
I thought you'd be later. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
-Argh! -Oh, my God! | 0:22:48 | 0:22:51 | |
Oh, God, sorry! I just had to get that out! | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
I'm still in shock! I'm still shaking! | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
That was horrible. | 0:22:59 | 0:23:00 | |
It was a surprise. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:01 | |
I know. | 0:23:01 | 0:23:03 | |
Thank you. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:04 | |
It's fine. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:05 | |
Shall I go and get us some wine? | 0:23:07 | 0:23:09 | |
HE SOBS | 0:23:09 | 0:23:10 | |
OK. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:11 | |
I know what you look like! | 0:23:17 | 0:23:19 | |
I know what you took! | 0:23:19 | 0:23:20 | |
That is the last time! | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
Splashed out on a special bottle for a special... | 0:23:24 | 0:23:27 | |
Harry? | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
I had to go into the history on my computer | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
to find something I'd seen on the H&M website this morning and... | 0:23:35 | 0:23:39 | |
I don't want to point fingers but... | 0:23:40 | 0:23:43 | |
..anal, gang bang, | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
mature, big cock, | 0:23:45 | 0:23:47 | |
small tits, hentai, | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Asian, teen, | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
MILF, big butts, | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
lesbian, gay, | 0:23:53 | 0:23:54 | |
facial, fetish, | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
bukaki, young and old, | 0:23:56 | 0:23:58 | |
swallow, rough, voyeur | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
and public. | 0:24:01 | 0:24:02 | |
Why are you being so sexy? | 0:24:08 | 0:24:09 | |
Don't make me hate you. | 0:24:11 | 0:24:12 | |
Loving you's painful enough. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
OK, sorry... | 0:24:19 | 0:24:20 | |
..but I really think you should write that down. | 0:24:22 | 0:24:24 | |
I know it's not appropriate but I really think | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
you should write that down. It's really good... | 0:24:26 | 0:24:28 | |
-I'm not going to write down... -No, I'm serious! | 0:24:28 | 0:24:30 | |
For your songs and stuff. It's perfect! It's poetic yet real. | 0:24:30 | 0:24:33 | |
Serious. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:34 | |
Don't... | 0:24:44 | 0:24:46 | |
..make me... | 0:24:46 | 0:24:47 | |
-Hate you. -Yeah, I know, thank you. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:51 | |
Loving you is painful... | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
What am I doing? | 0:24:56 | 0:24:57 | |
Look, there's someone at work who loves me. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
Well, she told me she loves me and I said we couldn't be together | 0:25:02 | 0:25:05 | |
because I had to know. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:06 | |
Do you want to be alone? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:09 | |
You will never see me again. | 0:25:14 | 0:25:15 | |
I'll always love you but I just can't take it any more. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:21 | |
I don't hate you, I'm scared for you. | 0:25:21 | 0:25:24 | |
He's going to write that down. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
(Don't hate you... | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
(Scared...) | 0:25:38 | 0:25:39 | |
I'm going to go pack my things up from the bedroom again, but, erm... | 0:25:46 | 0:25:51 | |
I'm... I'm not going to clean. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
It's still in pretty good shape, so... | 0:25:53 | 0:25:54 | |
If I don't see you after that, | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
goodbye. | 0:25:59 | 0:26:00 | |
DOOR SLAMS | 0:26:08 | 0:26:09 | |
DOOR OPENS | 0:26:09 | 0:26:11 | |
Forever. | 0:26:11 | 0:26:12 | |
DOOR SLAMS | 0:26:13 | 0:26:14 | |
He'll be back. | 0:26:18 | 0:26:19 | |
DOOR SLAMS | 0:26:33 | 0:26:34 |