Dead Lead Balloon

The studio are real excited about getting you on board.

-They think you're perfect for the part.

-That's fantastic.

So here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna set up a meeting with you, Will Ferrell and Ben Affleck

so you guys can get to know each other and then we can get on and make this movie.

-Great. Thanks, Chuck.

-No, thank you.

Now I just need you to sign right here,

and then there's the small matter of the registration fee, and we're good to go.

-HE CHUCKLES

-OK.

You can't trust anyone in Hollywood, but you can trust Wax & Shine.

Wax & Shine. Good, honest car polish.

OK, thanks.

-Is... Is that it?

-Yeah, they'll let you know.

BELL RINGS Next.

# I wanna get high

# But I really can't take the pain... #

It's fantastic news.

I know.

Well, he hasn't won yet.

Anyway... Anyway, it's amazing. He will be so pleased.

Oh, OK. Yeah, bye.

What's happened now?

Oh, it's just the comedy award nominations have been announced.

- Oh, let me guess. - Yeah, Dan's been...

Dan's up for one, is he? What is it, Luckiest Bastard Alive?

No, it's Best TV Personality.

I don't really think of him as having a personality.

- And Best Newcomer. - Best Newcomer?!

He's been around for years.

And Best Stand-up.

HE GROANS

- Is there any more milk? - We've run out.

Oh, I've just poured myself a whole...

- Why can't we have a milkman any more? - We could if you apologised.

Instead of all this messing around at the newsagents.

- If you do go, we need some bin liners.

- I mean, Dan Arrow-Smith, Best Stand-up?

I know you're his agent, but come on.

He's been nominated. He might not win.

Oh, course he will. People like that always do.

- Oh, well, wish him luck from me. - Will do.

Oh, what happened about the advert, the car polish one?

I haven't heard. No doubt Dan Arrow-Smith will get it...

PHONE RINGS ..along with a free supply of polish.

- Hello. - He can shine his awards.

MEL: Hi. Yeah. Yes, isn't it?

And the award for best performance in a car polish advert goes to Dan Arrow-Smith.

Oh, great.

MARTY: You see Mel's guy got nominated?

Did he? I hadn't noticed.

Best Stand-up and Best TV Personality.

- And Best Newcomer. Unbelievable. - He must be doing something right.

Oh, come on, Marty, he's just flavour of the month. We've all been there.

I wouldn't mind if he was any good.

Wouldn't it be funny if your hair was made of pasta?

No, it'd be a bloody nuisance.

Imagine at the barbers. Anything on it? Yes, please, Parmesan.

It's all so obvious. Anyone can come up with that stuff.

- Well, you didn't, and you had 20 years. - Neither did you.

You hate surreal. You've always hated surreal.

- Not as much as I do now.

Come on, let's get on with...

What are we supposed to be doing? You're not even getting corporate gigs any more.

- The pest control convention. - That was six weeks ago.

Five. Anyway, it's the recession, that's the problem.

This is a global thing I'm up against. I'm just laying low

till China kick-starts the whole thing, and then I'll be up and away.

- It'll be like before.

Anyway, you can talk. If it wasn't for America, we wouldn't be in all this mess.

Oh, please, not that again.

Well, it's true. Handing out mortgages to all those bums.

What the hell were you thinking of?

You've ruined everything, you have.

MAGDA TUTS AND SIGHS

Cereal is everywhere.

Really? Oh.

Must have been Mel. She was in a hurry this morning. I'll have a word with her.

She is very happy her client has won these prizes.

Awards. Anyway, he hasn't won anything.

He's just been nominated, which means he might win, that's all.

- So perhaps you will win? - No. No, you have to be nominated.

Why have you not been...

Nominated? Well, because I'm too well established.

I can't win Best Newcomer when I've been around for as long as I have, you know.

- Oh, I understand. - Good.

Oh, God, we need milk. And can you get some bin liners?

Perhaps you could win Best TV Personality prize?

Award.

No, I...I can't win Best Personality,

because you have to be a newcomer to win that as well.

- Best Stand-up?

- Yeah, and Best Stand-up. You need to be new for that too.

Dan Arrow-Smith...

- Is he funny? - Oh! Oh, he's certainly popular.

- What are his jokes? - Oh, you know.

Wouldn't it be funny if your hair was made of pasta?

You know, you get spaghetti for hair. Er...wouldn't that be funny?

- Why would man have spaghetti for hairs?

- I have no idea. I agree it's unlikely.

- Then why have you said this? - It's in his act.

You think this is funny, that man have spaghetti for hairs?

No, I don't. As it happens, I think it's a pathetic idea.

- Then why have you said is funny? - No, I didn't say it's funny.

I said he said it's funny, OK?

This is not funny.

Well, I only wish you were on the judging panel.

RICK: You might as well pick random words out a hat.

MARTY: Good you didn't let it get to you.

RICK: It's so easy. You can say anything.

Ooh, wouldn't it be funny if your fingers were made of marzipan?

Hooray, have an award, you're a genius.

- Can we change the subject, please? - Yeah, let's talk about lampposts.

Aren't lampposts a bit like giant toothbrushes?

Playing basketball with a team of gingerbread bishops,

trapped in a lava lamp made of shark's tears and terrapin bollocks.

- Michael. - Marty. So...

congratulations.

- What? - Mel's client getting three nominations.

- You must be over the moon. - Oh, yeah, we're all delighted.

I bet. Good for Mel. Finally, she's got a real star on her hands.

MARTY: You like him, Michael?

Oh, who doesn't? He's so zany! Some of the things he comes up with...

Wouldn't it be great if your hair was made of pasta?

It's like he's in the room.

Like anything on that? Yes, please, bolognese sauce.

- Actually, it's Parmesan on his hair.

- Oh, yes, Parmesan, that's it.

- I can see you're a fan. - Not exactly.

It's so clever how he just comes up with an idea like that, isn't it?

More juvenile, really.

Mind you, you come up with some brilliant material as well, don't you, Marty?

PHONE RINGS - I'd better take that. Excuse me.

Hi, Steve. Yeah, are we on for this afternoon?

He never stops, does he?

I'm surprised he's not up for an award or two himself.

Yes, I love all that surreal stuff,

the way he just makes things up on the spot.

Yeah, I was thinking...

wouldn't it be funny if you had marzipan fingers? Can you imagine?

Sorry?

Imagine trying to run a place like this

with marzipan fingers. Sorry, I can't seem to...

I woke up this morning and my fingers

had turned to marzipan. I don't know why. Sorry.

Very awkward business. But, anyway, there you are. Marzipan fingers.

- I've got fingers made of marzipan. - I'll get you a coffee. - Yeah.

Is there still no milk?

Oh, I don't know. I just grabbed this.

- Oh. So how's the job-hunting going? - Oh, no, no luck.

I gave it a go last Tuesday. - Did you?

- To be honest, I just don't think there's much around at the moment. - No, no.

- It's the recession, Dad. - I don't know how long you can blame the recession.

Yeah, still, probably just gonna wait for the festival season

to come around, see what happens.

Oh, yeah, yeah, maybe get a job as a steward or...

- No, I'll just go to them, basically. - Yeah, just chill.

Yeah, but they do have work there.

- You could get a job. - Yeah, Spikey tried that last year.

- Oh, God. Did he? - He was trying to watch the bands.

- They were like, "Pick up that litter." - "Go and help out in the car park."

Yeah, and Spikey was like, "Um...hello? Dizzee's on."

Yeah, exactly. Don't want to miss Dizzee!

- And then they sacked him. - Did they? Oh.

So he just stayed and watched the bands.

- Yeah, didn't even pay him. - Outrageous.

HE SIGHS Oh, well,

- good luck with the job-hunting and... - Cheers.

PHONE RINGS - Oh.

Hello?

Who? Oh, Alan, hi.

- Sorry, it's...it's my agent. - Oh.

Britain's what?

HE MOUTHS

HE MOUTHS

MEL: Yeah, no, it's not a problem.

You know that... You know that advert I went up for?

- Yeah, yeah, definitely. - (WHISPERS) For car polish.

Oh, right. Yeah, I'll do that, OK.

- For Wax & Shine. You remember the...

- I'll get onto that first thing. OK, bye.

You know that Wax & Shine car polish ad that I went up for?

- You got it? - No, but they showed my audition tape to someone...

PHONE RINGS - Oh, I'm sorry.

- Um...hi, Izzy. I'll call you back. - They showed my audition tape to someone.

PHONE RINGS - Sorry, I'll turn it off.

They showed my audition tape to someone and they want me as a presenter.

- Wow! - Said I've got the perfect face for it.

- What is it? What's the show? - You know the Bargain Channel?

- Britain's premier shopping channel! - Oh, it's a shopping channel.

You know Daryl and Donna. They present the four-hour Lucky Dip slot. - Right.

Daryl's going on holiday somewhere. They want me to fill in.

- What? Well, that's brilliant. - Mm.

- So it's a double celebration, then. - Yeah. Hm?

- Dan's nominations. - Oh, yeah.

This is my own show, basically. I can do whatever I want.

Obviously I've got to sell mops and things, although it isn't just mops

cos it is Lucky Dip, but this could be a whole new career for me.

- So when do you start? - Next Monday. - That soon?

- They don't hang about! They're Britain's premier shopping channel.

So I've heard. Well, you deserve another drink. Same again?

Thanks.

Welcome to the Bargain Channel.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello and welcome to the Bargain Channel.

DONNA: £12.99. You know what, Rick?

That is such good value for what you're getting.

It certainly is, and the really interesting thing about this, Donna,

is this isn't any old duster.

It's made of a special anti-static fabric, so the dust particles don't become charged

and then attract back onto the surface that you just dusted.

I love that! You know it was actually developed by NASA?

It was indeed developed by NASA.

You know when they say it's not rocket science?

- Well, this actually is.

SHE CHUCKLES Quite.

And remember none of these items are available in the shops.

Just £12.99 and this special anti-static duster is yours

plus the Hygeynie keyboard wipes and...

- Rick. - Wait, it's a good bit.

- Please, God, make it stop. MUTES TELEVISION

You know what's interesting? My first-day sales were 4% up on Daryl's.

- Do not try to defend this. - Marty, I'm good at this. Get over it.

That's like saying you're good at arson or embroidery.

It's not something to be proud of.

- What you're missing...

- What I'm missing is something to write.

What do you want? Funny prices? £15.95. Is that a funny price?

No, what I was gonna say is this could lead to bigger things.

That's what you said when you went for the car wax commercial. Well, you know what?

This is the bigger thing that it led to. This is the bigger thing.

The thing you are now doing is it.

You're wrong. I'm on the fast track now. This is gonna lead to all sorts.

Magic scissors, lint rollers, reusable freezer bags.

I know. It's an exciting time for us all.

You just don't get it, do you? Huh. Yeah, look, got you some of these.

Hygeynie keyboard wipes. They're really good.

Should we ever need to use the keyboard again, I'll wipe it down with one of these. Thank you.

- They're not just for keyboards. You can use them for telephones, remote controls...

- No Marty today, then? - Er...no, I haven't seen him today.

He's ill. - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Nothing serious, I hope?

Oh, we'll see. Can I have the chilli con carne, please?

Chilli con carne. So what are you up to, then, work-wise?

Quite exciting, I've just started this new television project.

- Oh, well done. - It's pretty major. I was head-hunted.

That's a relief, cos yesterday I had the television on and there you were on the Bargain Channel...

It's Britain's premier shopping channel.

...some sort of furry coat hanger.

- They're thermally heated. - I thought, "Poor Rick. Things must be desperate."

- I'm just filling in...

- What's this new TV project, then? - What? - The exciting one.

Oh, that's something else I can't go into because...

for reasons that...that are there.

- Can I have the chilli con carne? - I tell you what, Rick,

we can do better than that. You order the chilli con carne, I'll throw in some free nachos.

See, I sold you that. Maybe I should be on the Bargain Channel.

Er...well...well, no, you shouldn't, because...

I had already ordered the chilli con carne so you didn't actually sell me anything.

So...no.

Sorry.

So when do you think Marty will be back?

Call us now. 08081 570 570.

And remember, the first 20 callers will receive a free set

of these replacement scourer pads.

That number again, 08081 570 570.

And, speaking of gifts, Donna,

that brings me very neatly on to our next item, which really is rather special.

It's this top-of-the-range indoor plant sprayer.

- All right, Dad? - Hi. Hi, hi.

- This you, then? - Yeah, that's just...just me, yeah.

- On the Bargain Channel. - Britain's premier shopping channel.

It's quite a cult with the students.

No, it's Price Drop. That's the one everyone's into these days.

Yeah, remember we phoned up and got Spikey a lawn mower.

20 quid, so we thought, you know, got to be done.

A lawn mower? I thought Spikey lived in a high-rise flat.

Yeah, 14th floor. Should have seen the look on his face.

Yeah, he was like, "What do I want this for?"

He thought in the end, you know, "I know, I'll use it as a Hoover."

- Oh, good idea. - They're so noisy indoors.

What, a mower? That's why they usually...

It worked, though. It sucked everything up.

You know, fag packets, biscuits, the lot.

Only then he went over a can of Red Bull

and, you know, mangled the blades, tore up his carpet.

Oh, well, that's bad luck.

- So that was the end of the lawn mower? - Yeah.

He couldn't be bothered taking it down the lift so he dangled it out the window on the flex.

Yeah, he tied the plug to his radiator and left it hanging there.

Course, that's what I would have done.

The council came round, took it down, said if it landed on someone from that height, could killed them.

- It's health and safety gone mad. - Exactly.

- Hello. What's this? - Oh, just an ornament thing, windmill.

- Turn it up. - RICK ON TV: Absolutely.

That's not all, look. There's a little key in the back. If I wind it up...

PLAYS TWINKLING TUNE - ...it plays a tune.

- Sold loads of these. - Yeah?

Very popular.

If you want one of these gorgeous, magical windmills,

I suggest you call us right now.

Seriously, don't put it off.

- So, is this live, then? - No, it's...

- DONNA: 08081 570 570. - How can it be live if I'm sitting here?

No. Well, yeah, that's a...that's a fair point. That's what I thought.

Only she just said you've got to call now.

It's a recording. I recorded it, hm?

So I could watch it. That's why I'm watching it now.

So I can see what it's like.

Yeah.

'...little stable door and there's a bucket by the door, which is, er...'

- Oh, hello. - Hello.

- Everything all right? - I have seen you on Bargain Channel.

Have you? Oh, good.

- With Donna. - That's right.

- Because Daryl is in holiday. - Yeah, on holiday.

I like to watch Bargain Channel with my sister Agatha.

Do you? Good for you.

And...and my mother, she likes Bargain Channel.

Your mother? Do they have Bargain Channel in...

Oh, no, they don't, but Agatha is sending videos.

- Oh, she videos it, does she? - Yes.

My mother likes to watch because they do not have nice shops to look at.

- No, I don't think they do, do they? - Also my aunt Gavrilka.

- She likes to watch. - Gavrilka?

She has one leg short, so she must wear special shoe.

- Really? - My mother will be so happy

I am working for man who does Bargain Channel.

Good, good. So your aunt with the funny...

- How did she...? - Oh, um...she was...

- Um...er... - Oh, it was a car accident?

- Tractor. - Tractor.

- Mm, I like you in this show. - Oh, thanks, Magda.

- You're very good, I think. - It's just something I've been able...

Cos you're not funny.

- Anyway, I'd better not be late. - Oh, you can get duster?

- What? - Duster from space.

Oh, the NASA duster. Yeah, yeah, they're not really from...

I'll see what I can do.

- Rick? - What are you doing here?

- I'm here cos we need to talk. - Well, I'm on in a minute.

- I've taken on another writing job. - Oh. Don't tell me, Dan Arrow-Smith.

No, he writes all his own stuff.

- Oh, so you made enquiries. - It's a producer friend of mine, Steve Broaden.

- So that's what all these secret phone calls have been about.

Hello, Steve. Three bags full, Steve.

You don't need a writer, not on the Bargain Channel.

You're wrong. I put quite a few jokes in.

- No, you don't. - If you'd watch the show...

I did. I watched it yesterday.

- Oh, dear. - You're just selling stuff.

It's like a shop window, and you're the dummy.

Yeah, the point is, now I've got my foot in the door,

I'm gonna start putting funny stuff in.

- Sure you are. - Yes. That's what I was planning to do today.

Come into the studio. Watch me.

- I'll show you. - No, I've got stuff I gotta do.

- Come in and watch! - No.

- Just half an hour. - No, really.

Come on, it'll be fun.

08081 570 570.

And I would call now, if I were you, cos these are selling like hot cakes.

They're very attractive as well.

They are, and the great thing about the colour white is that it doesn't clash with anything.

As I say, more importantly, these mattress covers are completely waterproof.

Now take a look at this.

This is tea, obviously.

Just do that.

And lift up the sheet. There's your mattress cover, there.

Underneath, there's your mattress completely dry.

Look at that!

That is a miracle. Not one, but two mattress covers in each set.

You won't get cheaper than that elsewhere, I guarantee, not this quality.

That's 08081 570 570. Call us now.

I might get one of these for my bed.

Oh, why don't you, Rick?

Might be handy when I've been on a session.

LAUGHTER - They know what I'm talking about.

You wake up in the middle of the night...

- They come in king-size... - ..ten pints...

- ..standard double... - ..room spinning.

- Polyester-cotton mix. - Will I make it? Bleurgh!

LAUGHTER

There's also a pillow set I'd love to tell you about.

Just thought I'd throw in some jokes.

Don't. People don't want to hear about you pissing the bed and throwing up.

I didn't say anything about pissing the bed.

And then the umbrella section. Why mention people eating dogs?

Well, because they're made in Korea.

- I know. - All I said was,

"If it's raining cats and dogs, that should make a handy snack for them."

That's not racist.

- I don't give a toss if it was racist. - Well, it isn't.

I care about our Korean suppliers getting the hump cos they think you're insulting them.

It's just that my umbrella wouldn't open so I had to improvise.

Anyway, they do eat dogs.

Rick, you're good at this job.

You've been doing great up till now. Just cut the jokes.

Well, to be fair, you book a comedian, you've got to expect some jokes.

I'll be honest with you. When we booked you, we had no idea you were a comedian.

- Yeah, right! - No, seriously.

It's not like you're Dan Arrow-Smith or someone.

All his stuff's written for him, you know that?

Look, Rick, I'm not being funny, but we liked you because you look...anonymous.

Mr Nobody from next door.

Someone who's not gonna upstage the waterproof mattress covers.

- That is how I'm playing it. - Point is you're not a threat to anyone.

No-one's gonna sit there saying, "Oh, I wish I was him."

I don't know about that.

That's how it works at the Bargain Channel.

The female presenter's the attractive, sexy one,

and the bloke's a sort of...trustworthy twat, yeah?

Thank you.

Because I'm a trustworthy person.

That's what he said.

I have the right looks. He said I'm doing really well.

- You are. I saw a bit at work. - Oh, yeah? Which bit?

Um...you were selling this bag thingy and you attach a vacuum.

The Sentinel Storage And Packing Solution. Really good.

If you order this week, you get an additional winter-wear storage bag free.

I... I don't want one. I'm just saying I thought you seemed on good form.

I am, I am. I found something I'm good at. You know, something else.

It's a shame Daryl's having to come back from holiday.

- There'll be other opportunities. - Not as good as this.

It's a really popular show. Magda loves it.

Her sister videos it, sends it to their mother.

RICK CHUCKLES - Well, there you go.

- Mm. This is really nice wine. - Oh, yeah.

Dan sent me a case just as a sort of thank you.

You know Magda's aunt's got one leg much shorter than the other?

She has to go around wearing one of those massive shoes.

# ARCADE FIRE: Modern Man

# So I wait my turn, I'm a modern man

# And people behind me They can't understand

# Makes me feel like

# Makes me feel like

# So I wait in line, I'm a modern man

# And the people behind me They can't understand

# Makes me feel like

# Something don't feel right

# Like a record that's skipping I'm a modern man... #

DONNA: Well, that is it for today.

Please do join us again tomorrow, same time, same place.

Yep, see you then.

Bye.

Rick, can I have a word?

Yeah.

Mel. Mel. Wake up.

Wake up.

- Where have you been? - I've been in talks.

Talks?

- I couldn't say anything on the phone. It's all kicked off at the Bargain Channel.

Sorry, what are you on about?

- Daryl's dead. - Dead?!

- Yes. - That's terrible.

I know. Poor bloke, it's awful.

Anyway, they've asked me to stay on to do Lucky Dip full time.

- Right. - I said I would.

- That's good of you. - That's what Daryl would have wanted.

Apart from wanting not to be dead, of course.

Poor bloke. It's very upsetting, and Magda's gonna be devastated.

I'll have to break it to her tomorrow.

So how did he die?

Well, it's bizarre. He was on holiday in Las Vegas, in one of these casino places.

Apparently they keep bringing free food round so you keep gambling,

and what happened is...

Oh, Magda.

- This is good. - Is it? Good.

That's probably enough anyway.

Magda, er...

I'm afraid I've got some bad news.

Yes?

Yes, it's about Daryl.

- From Bargain Channel? - Daryl from the Bargain Channel, yes.

What is?

I'm afraid he's died.

- No. - Yes. Yes, Daryl has died.

- But Daryl is in holiday. - Yeah, on holiday.

Yeah, you can die on holiday, and, um...that's what he did.

Oh.

- My mother. - She'll be very upset. Yes, I know.

- And my sister. - Mm-hm, and your aunt with the...

- Gavrilka. - Yeah.

But how has he died?

I'm afraid he choked on a canape.

- No! - Sadly, yes, yes.

- This is dreadful. - Isn't it?

- This is terrible news. - I know.

- It's tragedy. - Mm.

What is canape?

Well, it's like a snack you have with drinks.

You know, smoked salmon on a little bit of toast.

He has died of smoke salmon?

Yeah, or pate, it could have been. A vol-au-vent, sausage roll.

Sometimes it's just a bit of cheese and pineapple.

Anyway, the point is he... he managed to choke on it.

- Oh. - Um...

- I will miss Daryl. - Yeah. Yeah, we all will.

SHE SIGHS

So I'll be taking over on Lucky Dip.

So you can tell your mother and your sister and, er...you know...

that I will be on that.

Yeah, Magda, I really do think that that has had enough water.

We don't want that to die as well,

- do we? - No.

Once again, we would like to say a very big thank you

to those of you who have been kind enough to send us messages of condolence.

It's been a great source of comfort to us at this very difficult time, so thank you.

Yes, now, we've been thinking about how Daryl would most liked to be remembered

and we're very proud to announce

that Bargain Channel viewers will have the exclusive opportunity

to purchase this special commemorative plate.

Yes, it's inscribed, really rather beautifully,

with his birth date

and the date of his sad passing,

and in the centrepiece we have an incredibly lifelike portrait of Daryl.

A special memento of a special man.

At a very special price, £14.99.

Lines are open. 08081 570 570.

Do pick up the phone and order yourself...

- He choked on a canape. That's hilarious. - I know.

- The not-so-lucky dip. You can use that. - Thanks.

Daryl goes to Vegas, and you hit the jackpot.

- What I said to Mel. - No, you didn't.

- So is this a permanent thing? - Yeah, for the time being.

- I am pleased for you. - Yeah, yeah.

I know you think it's crap.

Hey, man, it's work, so... And if you need any gags, I'm more than happy to drop by.

- Yeah, I've decided not to do gags. - Oh, the producer didn't like them.

No, he loved them, but now I'm doing it full time...

OK, so maybe I'll just drop by

- and hang out. - Oh, yeah.

I know what this is about. You want to see Donna again, don't you?

- Donna? Oh, will she be there?

Donna? Yeah. Why don't you give her a call? I've got her number.

- Really? - Sure.

OK, OK.

- It's 08081 570 570. - 570. Yeah, thanks, buddy.

- The lines are now open. - I'd do the same for you.

- Magda. - Hello.

- You all right? - No, I have bought plate of Daryl...

Oh, yeah. It's a special commemorative plate we're doing.

- ...for Agatha. - For those who wish to remember him. - Nice touch.

She has put in dishwasher, and, look,

he has come out like Princess Diana.

HE TUTS Yeah, I think it does say not to put it in a dishwasher.

- Now we know why. - I must have money back.

- That's not really my department. - But you sold to me.

I didn't say put it in a smelting oven.

- What is smelting oven? - It's an oven for melting rocks in.

- It's like a dishwasher. - But she has put in dishwasher.

- What did she do that for? - It was covered all in sausage.

RICK: Sausages? That's a commemorative plate. That's no way to remember Daryl!

MAGDA: That's what she does to remember Daryl.

RICK: How would you like it if someone ate sausages off your face?

# I wanna get high But I really can't take the pain

# Cos it will blow away my soul like a hurricane... #

- So when are these awards? - Saturday week.

- I expect Dan's excited. - Oh, just a bit!

Mm.

Do you think they'll have canapes?