Browse content similar to Upper Room. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
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Where's he gone, man? Eight? | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
What if he's fallen in the canal? | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
Well, if he has, then he's dead. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
-The app don't even work. -Your app don't work. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:14 | |
Have you lot seen Eight? It's a bit further down here. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:18 | |
Nah, he's lost again. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:19 | |
-PHONE: -Turn left. -No, it's this way. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
-The app is on, but we still can't find him. -Turn left. | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
In five metres, turn left. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:28 | |
Eight! | 0:00:28 | 0:00:29 | |
I thought you said you loved nature. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:36 | |
I do love nature. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
When it's on television and David Attenborough's presenting. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
I hate nature in real life. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:42 | |
It smells like shit around here. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
Plants and...plants and that. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:46 | |
It's so long. | 0:00:46 | 0:00:48 | |
I think I swallowed a mosquito. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
-Yeah? You all right? -Yeah. Where is he, man? | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
He's got to be here somewhere. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
-Turn left. -Well he's not going to be far, is he? | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
He never leaves Small Heath, cos... | 0:00:57 | 0:00:58 | |
BOTH: I can only poo in my own house. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
You have reached your destination. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:01 | |
He's an odd fellow. That's what Miss Peters used to say at school. | 0:01:01 | 0:01:04 | |
"You're an odd fellow, Arslan." | 0:01:04 | 0:01:06 | |
You don't want to go in there. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:16 | |
Don't! | 0:01:20 | 0:01:21 | |
-Where have you been? -You know him? | 0:01:24 | 0:01:26 | |
-Yes, we know him. He belongs to us, yeah. -This is our shed! | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
This? You bring it from home, did you? | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
-He kicked us out. -Life's full of disappointments, innit? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Yeah. Well, move on, then. Move. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
What's McFly staring at, there? What are you going to do, | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
burn a man with your hair straighteners? Go away. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:43 | |
What are you doing in here, Bear Grylls? | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
You're not drinking your own piss again, are you? | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
-My grandad's dying. -What?! | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
From cancer. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
Oh, that's so sad, man. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:00 | |
Gutted for you. | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Do you know what stage it is? | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
-Yeah? -Seven. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
I think there's only four stages, mate. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
Yeah, mate. It's cancer, not Tetris. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
You've gone about three extra stages... | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
..stages, there. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:17 | |
Oh, stage seven, oh, shit. | 0:02:17 | 0:02:19 | |
Yeah. Stage seven. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
That's sad, man. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
Wait, wait. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
Please tell me it's your grandad in Pakistan and not Dadha Hussein. | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
It's Dadha Hussein. | 0:02:31 | 0:02:33 | |
Oh, man, he was the best one. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
Nobody would have cared if it was your grandad in Pakistan, he... | 0:02:36 | 0:02:38 | |
Remember when he used to throw bricks at our shins in the summer holidays? | 0:02:40 | 0:02:43 | |
Proper hurting. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:44 | |
Yeah. He used to play a lot of cricket, innit, so... | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
-he's got a good aim. -Remember what he used to call me? | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
BOTH: Africa! | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
That's fully racist, innit? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
Can't call someone a whole continent cos of their skin colour, innit... | 0:02:55 | 0:02:58 | |
Proper knobhead, your Pakistan grandad. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
Proper wish he had cancer. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:02 | |
Instead of Dadha Hussein, like, | 0:03:04 | 0:03:06 | |
if there was a choice in who the cancer fairy visited. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:08 | |
Cancer fairy, yeah? Hm? | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
-I'm sorry. -Well, it is Dadha Hussein, the grandad that I love. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
And he's not going to be with us in four weeks. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Listen, hey. Hey. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Don't cry, man. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:21 | |
Anyway, he... | 0:03:22 | 0:03:24 | |
..he said he wants to see you two, innit, cos he needs some help | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
with summat, so come round the house later. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
It's not helping him wash, is it? Cos I'm not comfortable with that. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:36 | |
No, it's not helping him wash. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
Actually, it might be that, I don't know, but just come, innit? | 0:03:38 | 0:03:43 | |
Also, yeah, I just want to put this out there, | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
I'm not doing a euthanasia on him, man. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:49 | |
I don't want to do a euthanasia on anybody. | 0:03:49 | 0:03:50 | |
Strictly speaking, shouldn't it be called euthanasian? | 0:03:51 | 0:03:55 | |
I was just trying to lighten the mood. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
Euthanasian? | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
-Did it work the first time? -Sorry. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
EIGHT SNIFFS | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
DOOR CREAKS | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
THEY WHISPER | 0:04:33 | 0:04:39 | |
-Ah! -Ah! Bloody hell. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:48 | |
Look at you. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
Here you are, my good boy. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
Yeah, Dadha, I'm here. | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
Not you. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:56 | |
I was talking to Mobeen. | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
Oh, right, yeah. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:01 | |
You know, | 0:05:01 | 0:05:02 | |
you've always been the grandson I never had. | 0:05:02 | 0:05:04 | |
How are you, Dadha, are you OK? | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
I have been better, but... | 0:05:11 | 0:05:12 | |
..this life is very brief, you know. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:16 | |
Yeah. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:17 | |
And it's a test from Allah. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:18 | |
I'm not worried any more. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:23 | |
You're so brave, really. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:25 | |
No. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:28 | |
I'm shitting my chuddies. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:29 | |
Nobody wants to be bloody dying. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
Come closer, I want to tell you a story. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
When I was 17 and living in Pakistan, me and my mother, | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
we would have this conversation every day. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
"You need to get married." | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
"I don't want to get married." | 0:05:48 | 0:05:49 | |
"You need to get married." | 0:05:49 | 0:05:51 | |
"I don't want to get married." | 0:05:51 | 0:05:52 | |
"You need to get married." | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
"I don't want to get married." | 0:05:54 | 0:05:55 | |
"You need to get married." "I don't want to get married." | 0:05:55 | 0:05:58 | |
"You need to get married." I don't want to get married. | 0:05:58 | 0:06:00 | |
"You need to get married." | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
"I don't want to get married." | 0:06:02 | 0:06:03 | |
"You need to get married." | 0:06:06 | 0:06:07 | |
"I don't want to get married." "You need to get married." | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
-"I don't want to get married." -OK, Dada, that's enough of that. | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
You didn't want to get married, it's all right. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
Wait, but... Did you get married, then, Dadha? | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
So then I got married. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
So you got married just to shut your mum up? | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
No, but he married my daadi and they lived happily ever after. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
You proper hated his daadi, innit? | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
It's like you lot hate the Conservatives. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
That's deep. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:35 | |
I was trapped, but then I got a chance | 0:06:35 | 0:06:37 | |
to come to the United Kingdoms | 0:06:37 | 0:06:39 | |
and to escape from the mental prison that I was in. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:41 | |
Najia didn't get a visa. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:43 | |
It was the 1970s. | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
I knew immediately this was a place of opportunity. | 0:06:46 | 0:06:50 | |
A place of opportunity | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
where skinheads would put dog shit through your letterbox. | 0:06:52 | 0:06:55 | |
Make Britain great again, eh? | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
Good times, they were. Good times. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
So I opened the first video shop in the neighbourhood. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:02 | |
I made a fortune. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:03 | |
You were like the Small Heath Steve Jobs, weren't you? | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
He got cancer as well, | 0:07:05 | 0:07:06 | |
so that's like, another thing you got in common. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE | 0:07:08 | 0:07:10 | |
The shop got so busy that people would come and say to me, | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
"You need help in the shop." | 0:07:15 | 0:07:17 | |
"I don't need help in the shop." | 0:07:17 | 0:07:19 | |
"You need help in the shop." | 0:07:19 | 0:07:20 | |
"I don't need help in the shop." | 0:07:20 | 0:07:22 | |
"You need help in the shop." | 0:07:22 | 0:07:23 | |
"I don't need help in the shop." | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
"You need help in the shop." | 0:07:25 | 0:07:26 | |
"I don't need help in the shop." | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
"You need help in the shop." | 0:07:28 | 0:07:29 | |
"I don't need help in the shop." | 0:07:29 | 0:07:30 | |
You didn't need help in the shop. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:31 | |
No, but then, did you get help in the shop, then? | 0:07:31 | 0:07:34 | |
HE SHOUTS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:07:34 | 0:07:35 | |
So then I got an assistant, and, | 0:07:36 | 0:07:40 | |
to cut a long story short... | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
Please do. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:43 | |
..we fell in love. | 0:07:43 | 0:07:45 | |
And we got married and we have been man and wife ever since. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:52 | |
What? | 0:07:53 | 0:07:54 | |
So, you got with two wives? | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
OG, triple OG, getting it in, Dadha! Ta, ta! | 0:07:58 | 0:08:04 | |
Wild! | 0:08:05 | 0:08:06 | |
Then, things got complicated when Najia came over here. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:10 | |
-Yeah. -It was very, very hard. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
Mm! | 0:08:12 | 0:08:14 | |
Sorry. | 0:08:14 | 0:08:15 | |
Hard, though, innit? | 0:08:15 | 0:08:17 | |
I could have done things better, | 0:08:17 | 0:08:19 | |
but I'm dying, now. | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
I need your help, Mobeen. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Najia won't let me see my Jamila. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
-What? -Najia has gone too far. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
She's locked all the doors and she's started scaring me. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
I love my daadi, she would never do that. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
You know, the other day, I tried to get out of bed. | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
And she said, "You can't get out of the bed!" | 0:08:40 | 0:08:42 | |
"I want to get out of bed." | 0:08:42 | 0:08:43 | |
"You can't get out of the bed!" "I want to get out of the bed." | 0:08:43 | 0:08:46 | |
"You can't get out of the bed." "I want to get out of the bed." | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
She attacked me with a stick. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:49 | |
And then she threatened to cut off my cucumber. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
THEY GASP | 0:08:51 | 0:08:52 | |
THUMP FROM DOWNSTAIRS | 0:08:52 | 0:08:54 | |
That's her down there. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:55 | |
She's nailing the window shut with the same hammer | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
that she'll come and kill us all with in a minute. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
I think you're getting carried away. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
HE SHOUTS IN OWN LANGUAGE | 0:09:02 | 0:09:03 | |
If the cancer doesn't kill me, | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
the crazy madwoman with the stick will kill me. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
I need to see my Jamila at the video shop. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
Please promise me you'll help me. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:12 | |
Mobeen, promise me you'll help me! | 0:09:12 | 0:09:15 | |
HE SOBS | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
Help. | 0:09:17 | 0:09:19 | |
OK, shall we go? | 0:09:25 | 0:09:26 | |
Shh. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:47 | |
DISCORDANT VIOLIN STRINGS | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
Oh! | 0:09:49 | 0:09:50 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:09:50 | 0:09:51 | |
That's her. That's the psycho. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:53 | |
-Daadi? -Have you been mis-sold a PPI? | 0:09:57 | 0:09:59 | |
Oh, it's you, man. Yeah, how's it going? | 0:09:59 | 0:10:02 | |
-Shh! -How did that door slam? | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
I had to open a window, it smelled like someone was dying in there. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
Sorry. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:10 | |
GLASS BREAKS | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
What's the worst that could happen if Daadi catches us, anyways? | 0:10:18 | 0:10:20 | |
-She'll chop your cucumbers off. -I need my cucumber! | 0:10:20 | 0:10:23 | |
Why does everyone keep talking about salad? | 0:10:23 | 0:10:25 | |
Be careful! She'll chop it to a nub if she catches you. | 0:10:31 | 0:10:35 | |
Bloody hell. It's OK, lads. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
I think she's gone out. | 0:10:57 | 0:10:58 | |
Come on. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:01 | |
Oh, God, no! Come on! | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
-Run! -Ah! -Daadi! -Run! | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
Oh, my gosh! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:06 | |
DOOR SLAMS | 0:11:06 | 0:11:07 | |
MUSIC: Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
# As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
# I take a look at my life and realise there's nothin' left | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
# Cos I've been blastin' and laughin' so long... # | 0:11:18 | 0:11:20 | |
Ah, my little gold mine. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:21 | |
The old business. So many happy times. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
Me and my Jamila. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:30 | |
She was a very naughty girl. | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
You know, she was very hot... | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
OK, Bigamy Smalls, can you just get this door open? | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
It's cold out here. HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
PHONE RINGS | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
Is that the PPI man again? Gimme that. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
Tell him not to call me any more. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:48 | |
I will. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
Yes. We don't need no PPI claims, thank you very much, yeah. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:54 | |
Why don't you stop calling, and while you're at it, | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
-gently insert your phone up your anus. -Mobeen. | 0:11:56 | 0:12:00 | |
Sorry, Eight's daadi. | 0:12:00 | 0:12:02 | |
I wasn't talking to you. | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
Yeah, I know we left with him this morning and that, | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
but we haven't seen him since. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:07 | |
I said to him, "Unless you become the Terminator | 0:12:07 | 0:12:09 | |
"and go back to the future and rewind that tape, | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
"you're going to have to pay 50p." | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:12:14 | 0:12:15 | |
-He knows that, though. -Yeah, | 0:12:15 | 0:12:16 | |
it does sound a bit like him, that, yeah. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:19 | |
Look, Daadi, man, he made us promise that we wouldn't tell you what's going on. | 0:12:19 | 0:12:22 | |
Marrying Jamila was the happiest day of my life. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:24 | |
Is he still going on about Jamila? | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
You know about Jamila? | 0:12:26 | 0:12:27 | |
Of course I know about her. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:29 | |
But she's been gone sometime now. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:30 | |
What do you mean, gone? | 0:12:30 | 0:12:32 | |
She disappeared ten years ago. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
So what happened, then? | 0:12:35 | 0:12:37 | |
Nobody was ever really sure. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
They went away together and she never came back. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:44 | |
Oh, shit. Sorry, not shit. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
Yesterday, he spent one hour telling me that he wanted Judge Rinder | 0:12:46 | 0:12:52 | |
to witness the signing of his will. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
He's not a well man. | 0:12:54 | 0:12:56 | |
Just leave it with me, yeah? | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
Sorry, Daadi. | 0:12:58 | 0:12:59 | |
Maybe you just learn some Hindi, learn to dance around a tree, | 0:12:59 | 0:13:04 | |
butt shakes, move around a bit and before you know it, | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
you could a big Bollywood star, you know. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:09 | |
You all right, boys, yeah? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
-Yeah. -They won't bother you again. -Thanks, man. | 0:13:12 | 0:13:15 | |
-You all right? -Yeah, I'm all right, man, I'm all right. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
So, Dadha... | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
You've been in touch with Jamila, yeah? | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
What? | 0:13:25 | 0:13:26 | |
Yeah, the love of your life. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
She on her way? | 0:13:28 | 0:13:29 | |
All in good time, Mobeen. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:31 | |
Where does she live? Is she local, or what? | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
So many questions from my favourite grandson. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:36 | |
I'm your grandson. | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
Seriously, where is Jamila? | 0:13:38 | 0:13:40 | |
Listen, guys, I need to tell you a story. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
Oh, bloody hell. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:45 | |
Look, I've got to go for a haircut next Tuesday, | 0:13:45 | 0:13:47 | |
can we get a move on, please? | 0:13:47 | 0:13:48 | |
It's about Jamila. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:49 | |
Go on. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
Jamila is...gone. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
She...disappeared, | 0:13:56 | 0:13:58 | |
ten years ago. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:00 | |
Why are we here, then? | 0:14:01 | 0:14:02 | |
CREEPY MUSIC | 0:14:05 | 0:14:06 | |
There's something here I need to deal with. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
Something I need to dispose of before I die. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:13 | |
I've not told anyone about this. | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
You mustn't judge me. | 0:14:16 | 0:14:17 | |
I told you, man. I told you, man. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
He's a Jamila killer. I told you. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
I fell down these stairs when I was six years old. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:27 | |
Proper banged my head. | 0:14:27 | 0:14:28 | |
Yeah. No shit. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:31 | |
In there. | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
Please remember, | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
all men make decisions they regret at some point in their life. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
I know this is shocking, but... | 0:15:05 | 0:15:07 | |
Porn! | 0:15:12 | 0:15:14 | |
Yes, thank you! | 0:15:14 | 0:15:15 | |
This is nothing to celebrate, guys. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
It is when we thought your dead ex-wife was in there, mate. | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Bloody hell. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:22 | |
Misadventures In Megaboob Manor. Dadha, what is this? | 0:15:22 | 0:15:25 | |
I had no choice. | 0:15:25 | 0:15:27 | |
With two families, I had to make ends meet. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
You were making ends meet all right. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
Wait, so you sold this stuff? | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
Most of the money I made was from the under the counter titles. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
Dadha, you're a pervert. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
And I like it. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:41 | |
You know, it was a perfect system. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
But if your daadi or someone else found out, | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
-it would have brought great shame on our family. -Shame, yeah. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:50 | |
So you're saying you never consumed any of this yourself? | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
No. Never. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
I may have seen Ferris Boner's Day Off once or twice, | 0:15:56 | 0:16:00 | |
-you know, just for the research purposes. -I knew it! | 0:16:00 | 0:16:03 | |
Hold on a minute, hold on a minute, seriously. | 0:16:03 | 0:16:05 | |
This is all well and good, but where's Jamila? | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
CREEPY MUSIC | 0:16:08 | 0:16:09 | |
I killed her. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
HE LAUGHS MANICALLY | 0:16:12 | 0:16:17 | |
I'm just kidding, come on. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:18 | |
Ha-ha. It's a funny joke. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
Really funny joke, Dadha. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:22 | |
Jamila, she went off with a younger man. | 0:16:22 | 0:16:25 | |
Our marriage had run its course. | 0:16:25 | 0:16:28 | |
I thought you said she was the love of your life? | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
I had to tell you something. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:31 | |
I mean, would you have smuggled out a dying man from his house | 0:16:31 | 0:16:35 | |
just to dispose of this? | 0:16:35 | 0:16:36 | |
-I mean, probably, yeah. -I would have, yeah. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
We got time on our hands. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:41 | |
-OK, all right. -Does this mean you do love Daadi? | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
No. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:47 | |
She's not a psycho, but she's still after her inheritance. | 0:16:47 | 0:16:51 | |
Oh, right. | 0:16:51 | 0:16:52 | |
Have you decided what you're going to do | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
with the rest of the inheritance? | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
Yeah, I do have something in mind. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
-Yeah? -Something that's quite close my heart. | 0:16:57 | 0:17:01 | |
Yeah? | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
Netball in ladies' prisons. | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
Blud, blud! | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
What's that? | 0:17:12 | 0:17:13 | |
It's a charity that provides netball equipment for lady prisoners. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:17 | |
Can we just get on with the job we came here to do | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
and get rid of this porn? | 0:17:21 | 0:17:22 | |
Nah, nah, real talk, yeah, | 0:17:22 | 0:17:23 | |
this is immoral, misogynistic, and most importantly, | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
on a format we can't use anyway, so, let's dash, innit? | 0:17:26 | 0:17:29 | |
This just seems so wrong. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
-What, porn, yeah? -No, getting rid of it. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:40 | |
A lot of very professional people | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
worked hard to bring us this material. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:44 | |
They work very hard, innit? | 0:17:44 | 0:17:45 | |
Let's just get rid of it, huh? | 0:17:46 | 0:17:48 | |
CREAKING | 0:17:49 | 0:17:52 | |
Did you hear that? | 0:17:52 | 0:17:54 | |
CREAKING CONTINUES | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
TAPPING | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
It's nothing, man. Thought I heard something, but... | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
Argh! | 0:18:23 | 0:18:24 | |
Daadi? | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
What are you doing with all this filth? | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
Yes! | 0:18:31 | 0:18:32 | |
What are you doing with this filth! | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
What? No... | 0:18:36 | 0:18:38 | |
All I wanted to do was come here one last time, | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
and you violate my life's work with this? | 0:18:41 | 0:18:43 | |
My own grandson bringing this filthy muck into Hussein Videos. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:48 | |
You are not my favourite grandson. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
You're not even my favourite pervert! | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
THEY SNIGGER | 0:18:53 | 0:18:54 | |
EIGHT SOBS | 0:18:54 | 0:18:55 | |
Oh. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:57 | |
And that's why Judge Rinder is a genius. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
He's all right. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:16 | |
EIGHT SOBS | 0:19:16 | 0:19:18 | |
Dadha, remember what we were talking about earlier? | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
Eight took the blame for you. He got battered for you. | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
Is there something you'd like to say to him? | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
Yeah, there is. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:31 | |
Why don't you stand up for yourself? | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
What? | 0:19:36 | 0:19:38 | |
Don't worry, he's going to die soon anyways. | 0:19:38 | 0:19:41 | |
What? | 0:19:41 | 0:19:42 | |
Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. | 0:19:42 | 0:19:45 | |
What happened to those boxes, in the end? | 0:19:45 | 0:19:48 | |
I don't know. Eight dumped them somewhere. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
What is it? | 0:19:58 | 0:19:59 | |
They're broken. | 0:20:01 | 0:20:03 | |
I know what this is. It's old school porn. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:07 | |
ALL: Yes! | 0:20:07 | 0:20:08 | |
# Oh | 0:20:08 | 0:20:09 | |
# No time to rest | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
# Just do your best | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
# Oh | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
# What you hear is not a test | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
# We're only here to make you | 0:20:22 | 0:20:23 | |
# We're only here to make you | 0:20:23 | 0:20:25 | |
# We're only here to make you | 0:20:25 | 0:20:27 | |
# We're only here to make you | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
# Go | 0:20:29 | 0:20:30 | |
# Gotta go, gotta make it in time | 0:20:30 | 0:20:31 | |
# Brightest star gonna be the guide | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
# Gotta get you to the other side | 0:20:33 | 0:20:35 | |
# To where the butterflies and where the peach reside. # | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 |