Episode 4 Me & Mrs Jones


Episode 4

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Transcript


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# We spend all our time lying side by side

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# Going nowhere It's really something

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# Getting busy, doing nothing

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# We spend all our time

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# Running for our lives

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# Going nowhere It's really something

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# Getting busy, doing nothing

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# Getting busy, doing nothing. #

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MUSIC: "Black And Yellow" by Wiz Khalifa

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Fran, I feel like a blind mole.

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Is this even a clothes shop?

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I'm telling you, this place will have something.

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Hey.

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# You know what it is... #

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Oh, hey.

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So, do you need any help?

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Oh, right, sorry, I didn't realise you worked here.

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I thought you were just being friendly.

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I wasn't.

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OK, um, yes, I'm looking for something for my son.

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-It's his birthday.

-What's his style?

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Oh, style, yes, good. Well, it's...it's sort of...

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-Scruffy.

-Scruffy chic?

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Hmm, just scruffy.

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-Palette?

-He means colour.

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Oh, um...blue?

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# Hit the pedal once, make the floor shake

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# Way inside

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# My engine roaring... #

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Wow! It's a giant Babygro.

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-It's a onesie.

-Oh, right, yeah.

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I-I was looking for more going-out clothes really.

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This is.

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What, grown men wear that out and people don't laugh at them?

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Oh-oh, right.

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Yes, no, I see, I see that you really have to see it on to-to really...

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-Appreciate it.

-Yes, yes. I-I think I'll just go for this.

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-You know, play it safe.

-That's £120.

-What?!

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-Paying for the name.

-Got one with a cheaper name?

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-No.

-OK.

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Um, well maybe I'll just go for...

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something smaller, you know,

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like pants.

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# Black and yellow, black and yellow

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# I put it down from the whip to my diamonds, I'm in

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# Black and yellow, black and yellow

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# Got a call from my jeweller, this just in... #

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-That's £35.

-For pants?!

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-You're paying for...

-For the name, yes, I know.

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Right, well, I'll...

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I'll get some of those, please.

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# I'm rocking yellow diamonds

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# So many rocks up in my watch I can't tell what the time is... #

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I'm old - I'm officially very, very old.

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MUNCHING

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-DOOR OPENS

-If the ladies want to snog me because it's my birthday,

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I'm not going to stand in their way.

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-It's a health and safety issue.

-How? They started it.

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Fine, but if one of them gets a cold sore, then they'll sue you.

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No, they'll sue you, you're the manager.

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-Excuse me, what are you doing?

-I thought we'd tell the twins about my engagement to Inca.

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They're at Chloe Bryant's having a flower power sleepover.

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Her dad's making dreamcatchers with them.

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Jesus! Are there any real men left?

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Come here, birthday boy.

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GEMMA GIGGLES

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Oh. Ooh, ow!

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It seems only yesterday you were a little chunky-legged toddler

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-learning how to walk and talk.

-Yes, some would say still learning.

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Right, just enough time for a quick shower.

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Er, hang on, what are you doing?

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Inca spends hours in the bathroom, you spend what,

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five minutes putting a bit of slap on.

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-It's easier to have a shower here.

-I don't think so.

-Oh, come on.

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I'll give you a lift to Alfie's party in the van.

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As appealing as rolling around in left-over sandwiches sounds,

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-I'll pass.

-We're catching a ride from Tom.

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Tom? Tom?

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Why is he giving you a lift?

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-Because I invited him to my party.

-WHY?

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He's Mum's boyfriend.

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Well, yes, although I don't know if I'd go that far - more "friend".

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With benefits.

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No.

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-Anyway, what's it to you who Alfie invites to his party?

-Yeah.

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And come to think of it, I don't remember inviting you.

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Don't need an invite, do I? I'm family.

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GEMMA GASPS

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Ah! Mmm.

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Oh, come on, Inca's bought a new catsuit!

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TOILET FLUSHES

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-Oh.

-Oh.

-Evening.

-Sorry, were you waiting?

-Not for long.

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Here, that's what happens when you share a house,

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you queue for the loo.

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-Do you work out?

-Oh, not really.

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Oh. When you get to my age, you have to fight the forces of evil.

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Yeah, well. Bathroom's all yours. Sorry.

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Oh, absolutely don't be.

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-No, I've had the new John le Carre novel to keep me busy.

-Right.

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-So, two guys getting ready to paint the town red, eh?

-Yeah.

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Well, not so much red in my case, more of a burnished orange.

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I'd better get moving,

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because I told my boss I'd help her set up for tonight.

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-So I'm just...

-Oh, yes. I'm glad you got the night off.

-Yeah.

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You know, because a chap should be allowed to let his hair

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fall to his shoulders once in a while, you know,

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-perhaps do a bit of romancing.

-Perhaps.

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Oh, have you got your key?

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-In case we get separated.

-Yeah.

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Because I might stay for a coffee with Gemma...

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..post party.

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Oh! How is Gemma?

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Oh, she's good, yes.

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She seems a little less muddled and cluttered and bedraggled.

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-Yeah, I like that about her.

-Hmm.

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Does Alfie know you're in his clothes?

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He won't mind.

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-It's a bit tight, isn't it?

-Fine till I get home.

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It's not leaving much to the imagination.

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Is there any more cake?

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-Won't Inca be wondering where you are?

-Mmm.

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Inca will be at the exfoliating stage

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of her pre-party beauty regime.

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She says if I see the flakes of her skin,

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it'll take away the mystique of our relationship.

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Oh, can you see, you've missed a bit, there?

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Oh, just shift over, because I can't take any more.

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I'm not sure Tom's your type.

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Oh, really? What is my type?

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Probably someone less knobish and a bit more like me.

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Uh!

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Oi!

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Gemma, if you ever marry again,

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promise the girls won't call him Dad?

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Don't worry, they'll only ever call one dad Dad.

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And you're fine with them calling two women Mum, right?

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-Suits you.

-Hmm.

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Check out my bootilicious fine ass!

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Right, which one says "Pull me, baby"?

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-That one.

-Right, this one it is, then.

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Ugh!

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Are you wearing pants under that? Otherwise I'll have to burn that trackie!

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Ow!

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-Good evening, Billy, you look handsome.

-Oh, thanks.

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But not as handsome as Daddy, of course.

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Have you got a girlfriend?

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No, not right now.

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Maybe, in 20 years' time, I'll meet the perfect lady.

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She'd be a fool to turn you down.

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Absolutely, Poppy, those lilting Irish tones are mesmerising.

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The other chaps don't stand a chance.

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Daddy, please can you pack me some healthy snacks?

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Mixed nuts, seeds and dried apricots should do it.

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Already sorted, my love.

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Ho-ho, look at you, eh?

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Standing there...

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So majestic, so, er...

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Daddy, what do tears do?

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Yeah, they increase the heart rate, sweating

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-and give us those puffy froggy eyes.

-Yes, so deep breath.

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Right, I'm ready to go and stay at Mummy and Imran's for the weekend.

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Have a good time at the party, you two.

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But NO kissing, it spreads disease.

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She is my rock.

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Oh, well...

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better go and drop off my little young lady

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and pick up my little old lady.

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-See you at the party.

-See ya.

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MUSIC: "Little Old Lady" by Hoagy Carmichael

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# Little old lady... #

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Oh, oh, no. Oh, too much eyes.

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"Hi, I'm Alfie's mum and I'm an old geisha."

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Oh, no.

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ALFIE GROANS

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HE SNIFFS

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-How come your sheets smell nice?

-Because I wash them.

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-Are you sure you want me to come tonight?

-Yeah, of course.

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-I'm worried I look like Boy George.

-Who?

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Oh, Alfie!

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OK, fine, you look like my mum with bits of make-up on.

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-But is it too much make-up?

-I don't know.

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Well, do I look like I'm trying to look too young?

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Relax, you look old.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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I'll get it.

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-POSH VOICE:

-I expect that's Johnny English here to collect us.

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Deep breath, you can do this.

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You...

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..ravishing mystical gypsy, you.

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Oh, who are you kidding?

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Now, prong three of our marriage preparations

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will be the nuptial evening.

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Oh, I think I know what I'm doing in that department.

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You still have some way to go.

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But I'm talking about the wedding day entertainment.

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Band, disco, karaoke? John the Fish is a great wedding DJ.

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Yeh-son, I'm not asking, I'm telling.

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My brother and fathers will begin by playing the Swedish folk song

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"Trettondagsmarchen" and I will accompany them on my hurdy gurdy.

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And then we will make modern and have our first dance.

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Dancing's not really my bag.

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And that is why I booked eight weeks of dance classes.

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I'm just better static.

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You will dance rumba with me.

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You will be my prop.

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Oh, hang on, I'm in a crucial stage, pre-buff.

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I too am at a crucial stage, Yeh-son.

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The Rumba is slow...and sensuous.

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The woman first flirts...

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-and then rejects the partner.

-Oh!

-Grrr!

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My rhythmic body action and angry sexuality will spotlight our love.

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You are very luck-filled man.

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I'll be dead within a year.

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You look like a young Jane Seymour tonight, Gemma.

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-Oh, thanks.

-This car is sweet!

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Thanks. I'm sorry I haven't pre-warmed the seat for you,

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-I wasn't sure you were coming with us.

-Do these TVs work?

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Are you OK?

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Er, yes, I'm sorry, just getting a bit hot from the seat warmer.

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Oh, so sorry, too high?

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-Are you looking forward to tonight?

-Oh, yeah, should be top.

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Got Billy as my wing man, so I expect we'll be pulling big time.

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Mmm-hmm, Billy's like catnip to the ladies - Poppy's definitely smitten.

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I suspect she's not the only one, wouldn't you say, Gemma?

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Me? Smitten?

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No, I mean I'm not...

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Oh, but you don't mean me per se, you mean women in general find Billy...

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-Well, yes, I mean, no, er, I mean...

-Hot flush, Mum?

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No, no.

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-I think you turned the seat heater up instead of down.

-Oh, sorry.

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CLASSICAL MUSIC

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DANCE MUSIC

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Mate.

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-Hmmm.

-You're not going to believe it, The Tooth is in the building.

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-The Tooth?

-Tim The Tooth, old school mate.

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He's brought his sister and her friend, guess what?

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They're models and I'm not talking Page 3, I'm talking about real,

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with you know, like long spaghetti legs and swooshy hair.

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The Russell Brand look doesn't really do it for me.

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Come on, mate, you and me - models.

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Don't you think they're a little bit out of our league?

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Well, for you, maybe, but tonight, my friend,

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I've got the birthday pulling magic.

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-Oh, hi.

-Hello.

-How are you?

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Yes, good, thank you. How are you?

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-Yeah, good.

-Yeah and I'm good, too.

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I'm trying to persuade Billy to join me in my quest to snog a model, so...

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-Oh, right.

-Yeah, but like I say, I'm not really that into it.

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Why not?

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Well, I just thought...

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-I think you should go for it.

-See.

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Really?

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-Yes. I mean, you're young, single.

-Almost attractive.

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With nothing to stop you or hold you back.

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Why wouldn't you?

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Oh, Alfie...

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I got you a, er, birthday blob.

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Nice one, mate.

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Hmm, Mum, you remember Tooth, don't you?

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-Of course, who could forget Timothy.

-All right, Mrs Jones?

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This is my sister, Amy.

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-Hello.

-Hi.

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-And this is Lisa.

-Hello.

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Oh! Oh, oh, no.

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-Oh, sorry, totally my fault.

-Yeah, I know.

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You OK?

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Yes.

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Yes, yes, I'm fine.

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-LISA:

-What about me? I just lost my drink.

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Right, I'll get you another one. Come on.

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Oh, God, does it look terrible?

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-AMY:

-Yes.

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I think the stain really brings out the colour of your eyes.

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-Hi.

-Oh!

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I'm Amy.

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Tooth's sister.

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Not his girlfriend, in case you were wondering.

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Oh, well, thanks for the background information.

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-I like to be up front.

-So I see.

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I used to really fancy you when I was about 12, Mrs Jones.

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-Oh.

-I had the tooth removed.

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Oh, yes, Timothy, I can see that, well done.

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-I'm not sure it's school policy to be enforcing...

-Laugh.

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-I'm sorry?

-Laugh like I've said something really funny.

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But you haven't. Oh, have you?

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Now.

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I'm trying to get the big bouncer's attention.

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-Yes, he is a big chap, isn't he?

-Mmm.

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He is Tom, he is. Oh, laugh again now.

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Oh, OK, thanks, that should do it.

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You can go now.

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I mean, I don't want him thinking I'm taken.

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Just one more laugh before you go.

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Oh, yeah, thanks for the offer,

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but I'm after something bigger.

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The wedding is going to be the most important day of my life,

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so I, Inca, would like to ask you, Alfred, to be a part of it.

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Hmm? Right.

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-You're my stepson.

-Not really.

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You are funny little boy.

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-How about you be the usher?

-Um, I...

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You will be doing it with my three brothers, who are all 6'4",

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so they might be making you look like a tiny elf.

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Where's Tom?

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It seems Tom is smash hit with young women.

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I expect they feel sorry for the old codger.

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He's younger than you.

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Yem-ma, you look like you've been stabbed in the heart.

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Oh, yes, I had a little run-in with a large glass of red wine.

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Missed your mouth again?

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We go to the lavatory like English women do.

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We go together.

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He is totally fit.

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Billy? Yeah, you should SO go there.

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I am SO going to go there and he is SO not going to know what's hit him.

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You SO can't not.

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You should SO go there.

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WHINY VOICE: "I'm so going to go there."

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-Well, I've so been there.

-Is that you there, Yem-ma?

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Oh, um, yes.

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I just wanted to say

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that obviously Yeh-son and I want you at our wedding.

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I know it sounds a bit odd-bod for an ex-woman to be there,

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but I just really want girls as bridesmaids,

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and if you hold on to Tom, then he will look great in the photos.

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Oh, right, thanks.

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I'm sure the girls will love it.

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Yeh-son is being in charge of the wedding

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and he is being plenty secretive.

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He says that it might take some of the time,

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as everything is looking to be booked.

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Oh, this will be the best wedding ever.

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I'm sorry if the whole Jason and I not being divorced yet

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is holding you up.

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I'm sure we can sort it pretty easily.

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DOOR OPENS

0:15:580:15:59

You are not going to pigging believe it!

0:15:590:16:01

-What's wrong with her?

-What's up?

0:16:010:16:04

There's a cat out there wearing the exact same dress as me.

0:16:040:16:07

I have told her to go home and change, for her own good.

0:16:070:16:09

She doesn't stand a chance with me around.

0:16:090:16:11

That's interesting.

0:16:150:16:16

You ready, Inca?

0:16:160:16:18

I will be with you shortly, please to proceed without me.

0:16:180:16:21

INCA SCREAMS

0:16:380:16:41

MUSIC PLAYS IN BAR

0:16:410:16:43

NEW SONG STARTS

0:16:450:16:47

Tune!

0:16:470:16:48

I remember the first dance at my wedding.

0:17:030:17:05

Viennese Waltz.

0:17:060:17:07

-Selina was a vision in Navajo white.

-Sounds wonderful.

0:17:070:17:11

I thought it would last forever.

0:17:110:17:13

Some marriages last forever. Even when they're over.

0:17:130:17:17

OTHER DANCERS CHEER

0:17:190:17:21

Gemma, would you like to dance?

0:17:230:17:25

Oh, no, no, no, I don't think so.

0:17:250:17:27

-No, I'm a terrible dancer.

-She's like a buffalo in heels!

0:17:270:17:30

Ow!

0:17:310:17:32

You don't stand a chance, oh, strong one.

0:17:340:17:36

Yo.

0:17:390:17:40

Do you do bodyguard work?

0:17:400:17:42

Only I've got a body that might need guarding.

0:17:420:17:45

Steely stare, I like that.

0:17:480:17:50

Got any ideas where a woman my age might go on to after this place?

0:17:510:17:54

Home.

0:17:560:17:57

Yours or mine?

0:18:000:18:02

-Oh, hi.

-Hi.

0:18:080:18:10

So, how's it going, living with Tom?

0:18:140:18:16

Yeah, good, yeah. How's it going, going out with Tom?

0:18:160:18:20

Good.

0:18:220:18:23

So you won't be wanting to bury his kiss

0:18:230:18:27

under a conservatory, like you did with ours?

0:18:270:18:29

I'm not a serial killer...

0:18:290:18:32

kisser.

0:18:320:18:34

Amy seems nice.

0:18:420:18:44

Right, yeah - nice.

0:18:440:18:46

You need someone young and free,

0:18:460:18:49

with a face that doesn't need ironing in the morning.

0:18:490:18:51

-Do I?

-Yes.

0:18:510:18:53

And I need someone whose best friend isn't my son.

0:18:540:18:57

Do you?

0:18:590:19:00

Yes.

0:19:000:19:02

Well, it looks like you've got it all figured out then,

0:19:020:19:06

you and Tom, and Amy and me.

0:19:060:19:09

Hmm, yes.

0:19:110:19:13

So you'll be fine with me walking Amy home tonight?

0:19:150:19:18

Maybe lingering on the doorstep...

0:19:190:19:22

..removing a stray hair

0:19:230:19:25

that's fallen across her face just so I can touch her?

0:19:250:19:27

Kissing her as we stand there...

0:19:300:19:32

..not yet knowing whether or not I'm going to wake up next to her.

0:19:340:19:38

And hoping...

0:19:380:19:39

I'll hold her all night.

0:19:390:19:41

And be the first thing that she sees when she wakes up in the morning.

0:19:420:19:46

You'll be fine with that, will you?

0:19:490:19:51

WEAKLY: Yeah.

0:19:550:19:57

Well, good.

0:19:580:20:00

I'm glad we're clear, then.

0:20:000:20:01

Right.

0:20:010:20:03

-Weren't you, er, going to the toilet?

-Yes, yes, I was, thank you.

0:20:060:20:10

Yeh-son, I decide we do not need a big wedding.

0:20:160:20:20

-Let's marry for the cheap, like you want.

-Really?

0:20:200:20:23

-Oh, great.

-Good. I am thinking then next month at Town Hall.

0:20:230:20:26

-Next month? Oh...

-Why we wait? We're in love

0:20:260:20:29

-and there is nothing in the world that can stop us, is there?

-Well,

0:20:290:20:33

er, there's the, um...

0:20:330:20:34

What, Yeh-son? What will hold us back from marrying at once?

0:20:340:20:38

-Muscles.

-What?!

0:20:380:20:40

Yeah, I want to get muscular for you.

0:20:400:20:43

If you're looking for a training partner, I'm your man, Jason.

0:20:430:20:46

I could do with stepping up my weights routine.

0:20:460:20:48

Well, thanks, great.

0:20:480:20:50

Why you squirm like piggy, Yeh-son?

0:20:520:20:55

-You all right?

-Yes.

0:21:020:21:03

-Your upper lip's all clammy.

-What?

0:21:030:21:06

-Oh.

-I have landed a whopper.

0:21:060:21:08

The big guy - his name's Nero.

0:21:080:21:10

Wow, he looks...

0:21:100:21:12

He is taking me for a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet

0:21:120:21:15

after he knocks off.

0:21:150:21:16

And you know what an all-you-can-eat-buffet is code for, don't you?

0:21:160:21:19

-No.

-A love banquet.

0:21:190:21:22

Right, right, right.

0:21:220:21:23

See you tomorrow.

0:21:240:21:26

The lovely Rachel has sent over some shots on the house

0:21:340:21:37

-for the birthday boy.

-Free? Great.

0:21:370:21:39

Here we go.

0:21:390:21:40

Not for me, elderflower presse - driving.

0:21:400:21:42

Hey.

0:21:450:21:47

Oi, oi, steady on, love.

0:21:480:21:50

-Oh, you two should get a room.

-Oh, and you would be happy for that?

0:22:020:22:05

Your wife in a mucky hotel room with a more attractive man?

0:22:050:22:09

-Ex-wife.

-Oh, really?

0:22:090:22:11

Because Yem-ma here is telling me that YOU TWO ARE NOT DIVORCED!

0:22:110:22:13

What? No!

0:22:130:22:15

That you're still wife and a man in the eyes of the law!

0:22:150:22:19

-Mum, is that true, are you still married to Kermit?

-Oi!

0:22:190:22:21

Hey, I think everybody should just calm down.

0:22:210:22:24

I'm still married. To Selina, not Gemma.

0:22:240:22:26

Yem-ma, you will speak the truth.

0:22:260:22:28

Are you or are you not married to Yeh-son?

0:22:280:22:31

Well, no...

0:22:320:22:34

I-I mean, technically I suppose we are, but...

0:22:360:22:39

-I thought she knew!

-She didn't!

0:22:390:22:41

If I knew he still had the old ball and chain around his knees,

0:22:410:22:46

we would not be engaged!

0:22:460:22:48

-She means nothing to me.

-Thanks!

0:22:480:22:50

-YOU wanted to commit pigamy with me!

-Bigamy.

0:22:500:22:53

How could you, Yeh-son?!

0:22:530:22:55

-Proposing to young woman when you still have an old wife!

-Oh!

0:22:550:23:00

-Hey!

-Oh, look, if you flush the stain with cold water

0:23:000:23:03

-and a teaspoon of vinegar, you'll be fine.

-Try this.

0:23:030:23:06

Oh!

0:23:060:23:07

Inca!

0:23:070:23:08

This is Alfie's party, I think this isn't the right place to...

0:23:080:23:11

I'm fine, this is good stuff.

0:23:110:23:13

You are right, Irish, I am a dignified person.

0:23:130:23:15

Yem-ma, I hope we can remain friends.

0:23:150:23:17

Yeh-son, you are dead to me!

0:23:170:23:19

So I am bagging your clothes for the poor people!

0:23:190:23:22

See what you've done now?

0:23:220:23:24

-Jabber?!

-Just tell her the truth!

0:23:240:23:26

I am blocking your voice, Yeh-son!

0:23:280:23:30

-Look, Inca, I...

-Get away from me!

0:23:300:23:33

Inca, love of my life, please...

0:23:330:23:34

-Oh, your family are more nuts than mine!

-I know, right?

0:23:340:23:37

Oh, no.

0:23:400:23:41

This is all my fault.

0:23:410:23:43

Oh, nonsense, it's...

0:23:430:23:44

-Oh, I think I want to go home.

-I'll take you.

0:23:490:23:51

LISA GIGGLES

0:23:510:23:53

Can you make sure that Alfie gets back in one piece?

0:23:530:23:55

-Yeah.

-We will, won't we, Billy?

0:23:550:23:58

Don't worry, Mrs Jones.

0:23:580:23:59

Inca.

0:24:040:24:06

Inca!

0:24:070:24:08

Don't do this.

0:24:080:24:10

I love you!

0:24:100:24:11

A lie is a slice of evil that cuts through the ties of love!

0:24:110:24:14

I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you the truth.

0:24:140:24:18

I thought I could sort it out in time for the wedding.

0:24:180:24:20

Deceiver!

0:24:200:24:22

I have held your family in my bosom!

0:24:220:24:26

I have thought of Yem-ma as my mother figure!

0:24:260:24:28

Your children as my own!

0:24:280:24:31

We have ended, Yeh-son.

0:24:310:24:33

-Goodbye, heart-killer!

-Inca!

0:24:330:24:37

INCA!

0:24:380:24:39

COUPLE LAUGHING

0:24:470:24:49

What?

0:24:530:24:55

Oh, Tom, you didn't have to tidy up.

0:25:010:25:03

Just a light dusting.

0:25:030:25:04

I've put the cake in the fridge, washed the mugs

0:25:040:25:07

and found £40 down the back of the sofa.

0:25:070:25:08

What was that for? Not that I'm complaining.

0:25:170:25:20

You're a very kind man, Tom.

0:25:220:25:24

That makes you a rare thing.

0:25:240:25:27

Let me put that in a bicarb soak for you.

0:25:270:25:29

We might be able to save it,

0:25:290:25:30

but with old dresses, there's no guarantee.

0:25:300:25:32

-DOOR OPENS

-Come on, mate.

-Oh, Alfie!

0:25:350:25:37

-Mum. Mum...

-Yes.

-Is that you?

0:25:390:25:42

He got into a drinking competition with Lisa and lost.

0:25:420:25:45

ALFIE GROANS

0:25:450:25:46

It's because she's taller than me, she's like a long straw.

0:25:460:25:49

And because I lost...

0:25:490:25:51

she said that we had to swap clothes instead of numbers.

0:25:510:25:55

But don't worry, Mum, don't worry, I kept the pants that you got me.

0:25:550:25:59

Oh, Alfie...

0:25:590:26:00

Oh, oh, oh, OK, upstairs.

0:26:000:26:03

I'll give him a hand. Selina was like a teenage boy when she'd drink.

0:26:030:26:07

ALFIE GROANS

0:26:070:26:08

-Come on, laddy.

-Careful.

-Up we go.

0:26:080:26:11

My bottom's cold. Oh!

0:26:110:26:13

ALFIE WRETCHES

0:26:130:26:14

I think I'm going to...

0:26:140:26:16

My bottom's cold!

0:26:160:26:17

-Thanks for bringing him home.

-Ah, it's fine.

0:26:230:26:26

Are you OK?

0:26:260:26:27

Yes, fine.

0:26:270:26:29

Sorry if bringing Alfie home ruined your night.

0:26:310:26:34

-It didn't.

-Really?

0:26:350:26:36

Because...it seemed like you walked the wrong person home.

0:26:370:26:43

-Unless you want to wake up next to Alfie.

-It's not Alfie

0:26:430:26:46

I want to wake up next to, it's...

0:26:460:26:47

-JASON:

-Gemma!

-Oh, my God!

0:26:470:26:50

-Gemma!

-Is that a cat being murdered?

0:26:500:26:53

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Gemma!

0:26:530:26:55

This is all your fault.

0:26:550:26:57

Look, I'm sorry I told her, but I thought she knew!

0:26:570:27:00

If you'd been honest from the start...

0:27:000:27:02

She's kicked me out! I've nowhere to go.

0:27:020:27:04

-Well, you can't stay here.

-Why not?

0:27:040:27:06

This used to be my place of residence and besides,

0:27:060:27:08

I'm the father of your children.

0:27:080:27:10

-Do you want me to sleep in a dustbin?

-Fine, one night.

0:27:100:27:12

I'll never sleep anyway, I'm too...

0:27:120:27:15

-emotional!

-Well, we should go.

0:27:150:27:17

Oh, it's probably for the best.

0:27:170:27:19

I'm sorry about all of this.

0:27:190:27:23

Do you need a lift, or have you made other plans?

0:27:230:27:25

No, no plans. Home is good.

0:27:270:27:30

Oh.

0:27:350:27:37

What are we going to do with you?

0:27:440:27:45

JASON SNORES

0:27:470:27:49

-MUMBLING DRUNKENLY:

-No, she got up next.

0:27:570:27:59

GEMMA SIGHS

0:28:020:28:04

Great.

0:28:080:28:09

I send the man I want away

0:28:100:28:12

and end up with the one I don't.

0:28:120:28:14

Silly old fool.

0:28:170:28:18

I don't like blue cheese.

0:28:210:28:23

# We spend all our time

0:28:260:28:28

# Lying side by side

0:28:280:28:31

# Going nowhere It's really something

0:28:310:28:34

# Getting busy, doing nothing

0:28:340:28:36

# We spend all our time

0:28:360:28:39

# Running for our lives

0:28:390:28:41

# Going nowhere It's really something

0:28:410:28:44

# Getting busy, doing nothing

0:28:440:28:47

# Getting busy, doing nothing. #

0:28:470:28:50

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