Episode 3 Michael McIntyre's Big Show


Episode 3

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Transcript


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Tonight on my Big Show -

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football legend Alan Shearer plays Send To All,

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there's music from the wonderful Jessie J and the Stereophonics,

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I'll be creeping into another person's house to play the Midnight Game Show,

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and who will be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show?

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Big Show. Please welcome your host,

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Michael McIntyre.

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Yay!

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Hello. Hi.

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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And welcome to my Big Show!

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Yeah!

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Tonight, of course, we will have big stars.

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CHEERING

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Big laughs.

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And even bigger surprises.

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I will, again, be playing my favourite game in the whole wide world, Send To All.

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We have the most sensational Unexpected Star of tonight's show.

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And of course I'll be sneaking into another bedroom

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for the Midnight Game Show!

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All right.

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So, it's the winter now, when the clocks go back,

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that's the autumn one, the back is the good one, because you gain an hour.

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My wife is always on at me to change the one in the kitchen. That's the clock, she likes that clock.

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She's, like, "Can you just make sure that the kitchen one...?"

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OK, every year, "Can you sort the kitchen one out?

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"Can you change that for me, darling? Cos it's on the other time

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"and the clocks have changed now, the clocks have gone back."

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Sounds an easy job. As you take the clock, it's like an old-fashioned clock,

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take it off the wall and there's just the nail sticking out,

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and on the back there's a wire, then you fiddle it, you fiddle it.

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There's a little, little box, like a tiny little mechanism

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with an AA battery, which I think is our favourite.

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I think it's our favourite battery,

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cos we know that we always have it in stock, you know?

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If it's AA, I probably have that, I have it.

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Triple A is OK.

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Cs and Ds it gets a little bit more tense.

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When it's a square one you're like, "There's no way I've got this one."

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The square one has a life under it.

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You don't even need to put it in. The square one,

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there's a wire and a hat, you can actually put it on...

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I'm outside of the appliance, I'm the square battery.

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Anyway, you twiddle it back an hour and then you think,

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"I'll just pop that back on the wall."

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There's the nail, there's the wire, you keep a visual on the nail,

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visual on the wire, you start moving the clock towards the wall.

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You maintain visuals, I see the nail, there's the wire.

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You lose visuals, but you don't panic.

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You just adjust your position and that should slot nicely onto the...

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Why hasn't it?

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You don't panic, you look again.

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There's the nail, there's the wire

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and it's just hovering above it,

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so if I don't move it and then move it in, that should just slot on...

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I don't understand.

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After a while, you don't even look,

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you just start dragging it down the wall, surely it should collect the nail?

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It's like someone's standing behind the wall just removing the nail.

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"Ssh, don't tell him."

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Last year, it took me over an hour to put the clock back on the wall.

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I lost the hour that we'd gained from the clocks going back.

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For most people the clocks go back an hour.

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For me, they went forward seven minutes.

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OK. Ladies and gentlemen, who would like to play Send To All?

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CHEERING

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So, let's see who's in our

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Send To All box this week.

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Ladies and gentlemen,

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please welcome the Premier League's highest ever goal scorer,

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a bona fide legend.

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I'm going to start you off - Shearer! Shearer!

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CROWD CHANTS: Shearer! Shearer!

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It's Alan Shearer, ladies and gentlemen!

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Yay! Hi!

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Hello.

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How many times a day, honestly, do people say the word, "Legend"?

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-I never tire of it.

-You'll never tire of it!

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What about actually chanting "Shearer" to your face?

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-Does that happen a lot as well?

-Yes, quite a few times, yeah.

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All right. You never tire of it, which is good.

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Legend. Who are you here with tonight, Alan?

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I'm here with my two daughters, Chloe and Holly.

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Chloe and Holly, ladies and gentlemen.

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APPLAUSE

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Welcome, Chloe and Holly.

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How are you? How are you both?

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-Good, thank you.

-Do you feel like your father's a legend?

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LAUGHTER

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No. He is a good dad.

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Depends what mood he's in, how much sleep he's had, I guess.

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When I was younger, my granny bought me a recorder for Christmas.

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-Lovely.

-You know how you love getting instruments when you're a kid?

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And we had to make the long drive home,

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so obviously, the day after Christmas, we're driving home and I'm in the back,

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blowing this recorder probably completely out of tune.

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-Very loud.

-Very loud.

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-And probably out of tune.

-And he's still angry about it.

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And he turned round, "Chloe, I swear on my life,

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"if you keep blowing that, I'm going to throw it out of the window."

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And being the stubborn child that I am - I don't know who I get that from -

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I obviously blew it, and I kid you not, he turned around,

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he got the recorder and he flew it out the window.

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Whoa.

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We've all been there, haven't we?

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No, we all stop at the threat.

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So, Alan, you have the keys to the city of Newcastle.

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You were such a legend in Newcastle, how often do you go there, you know,

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visit your people, your disciples?

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-I live there.

-Well, that's every day.

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When I started out in comedy, my first-ever joke was about Geordies.

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-I hope it's a good one.

-I don't know, shall I do it now? Shall I bring it, dust it off?

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I can't believe I'm about to do my Geordie joke to the King of Newcastle.

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A true Geordie says the letter A and the letter E in exactly the same way.

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A is "Eeer" and E is "Eeer".

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How do they live their lives? How do they pass eye tests?

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"Eeer, eeer, eeer, eeer.

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"Can I change the last one from an eeer to an eeer?"

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# Old MacDonald had a farm

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# Eeer, eeer, eeer Eeer, eeer, eeer. #

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# A E I O U

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# Eeer, eeer, eeer, eeer, eeer. #

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"I've hurt me leg, I'm off to Eeer & Eeer. All right?"

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OK, I don't think he enjoyed it.

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Let's carry on.

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OK. I can't thank you enough for being here

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and for doing this and giving us your mobile phone.

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I'm going to ask you to place your phone into the cushion here,

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and normally we have some music actually when the phone comes down,

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but I thought we would create that with the classic Shearer chant.

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All right, here we go.

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Shearer! Shearer!

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ALL: Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer! Shearer!

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Yay!

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Very good.

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It's got me going! It's got me going!

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Oh, you're on O2, I thought you'd be on Eeer Eeer.

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Oh, dear.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's Alan Shearer's home screen.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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-What's that bridge?

-It's Tyne Bridge, yeah.

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Tyne Bridge. Oh. Did you put that on just for today?

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No, it's always on there.

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"I'll go for the bridge, all right?"

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Flick Golf. Is this fun? Is this what you get up to, then, Alan?

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-Just on the aeroplane when I'm bored.

-What a fun guy you are!

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Oh, these are your alarms.

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Oh, they're...

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These... What?

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Alan, are you a narcoleptic?

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Do you, literally, fall asleep every five minutes?

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-I'm just busy.

-Busy or incredibly tired.

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"Listen, love, I've had a bit of Flick Golf, I'm going to turn in for four minutes.

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"I'll set the alarm."

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Look at this, that's 5.34 and 5.35!

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How precise is your life?!

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So, let's see...

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Ooh, I'll have a... Do you mind?

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Before we get onto the text, I'll have a quick look at your life,

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at your photos. Oh, very cute dog.

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Aww!

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That's your dog having a big yawn.

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You're like, "Would you like me to set the alarm for you?"

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"Would you like a little nap?

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"I can offer you 1.02, 1.04, 1.06."

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-Oh, hello. Goodness.

-Oh.

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Holiday shot. Maybe we'll move on to... Oh, it's got worse!

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Alan!

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What's the crack here?

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-That is...

-They're two friends, Franco and Brian Trent.

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Fine buttocks.

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So, there you are, this is good holiday stuff.

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Oh, it's Sheeran! Sheeran! Sheeran! Sheeran!

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All right, there's you and Wrighty.

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This is great fun. OK. There's Wrighty on his mobility scooter.

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Ooh, here we go.

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That's you... Oh, is this you on your way to vote for Brexit?

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You like to keep your opinions close to your chest.

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"I'm just popping out to, er, vote in the referendum, love."

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Right, let's put this text in. Now, what we're going to do is put this

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text in, it's just fun, we'll see what happens at the end.

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OK, so, the text I'm going to send

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into Alan Shearer's phone is as follows -

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"I'm looking

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"for an assistant

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"and think you

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would be perfect."

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Do you currently have an assistant?

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Not an assistant, no, just a help, just a little helper.

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OK. A little...

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Are you Father Christmas?

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"I can double your current

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"salary.

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"Duties include...

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"..managing my diary...

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"ironing my...

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MICHAEL CHUCKLES

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"..Match Of The Day shirts...

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"..sports massage...

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"..on old injuries."

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We're going to go a little bit more specific with those.

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"Mainly hamstring...

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"..and groin."

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"And golf caddying.

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"Let me know...

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"ASAP."

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How would you end a text, Alan?

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Thanks, Al.

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Is that emoji, would that pop in there?

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Yeah, a little emoji with my arm in the air, yeah.

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Do you really do that? You do your celebration?

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Right. OK.

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We'll go, "Thanks, Al."

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And then we'll go with the emoji.

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That is lovely.

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OK. So let's go through this text.

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Would you mind reading it, so we've got a real flavour,

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it feels like the flavour of Shearer?

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"I'm looking for an assistant and think you would be perfect.

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"I can double your current salary.

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"Duties include managing my diary, ironing my Match Of The Day shirts,

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"sports massage on old injuries, mainly hamstring and groin,

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"and golf caddying.

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"Let me know ASAP. Thanks, Al."

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Shall we do it?

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Shall we send it, ladies and gentlemen?

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-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

-Ready? All right. That has... That's gone! Delivered!

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Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. The fantastic...

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What a wonderful sport he is!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you, Alan. All right.

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Ladies and gentlemen, what a treat we have for you now.

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Please welcome one of the country's finest singing talents and a true

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pop superstar. It's Jessie J.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# Stop playing with your body, lady

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# Stop feeling like you're not enough

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# Stop feeding into the haters

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# Stop and give yourself some love

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# Whoa-oh-oh

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# Stop staring at the mirror getting faded

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# Saying you won't fall in love

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# Stop trusting all these fake idiots

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# Trust me they don't give a ...

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# Whoa-oh-oh

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# I'm tired of seeing it

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# I'm tired of feeling this

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# The world says beauty is changing It's fake expectation

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# And the riff

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# Let's get naked

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# Start meditating

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# Feel elevated and say I love my body

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# I love my skin

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# I am a goddess

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# I am a queen

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# I love my body

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# I love my skin

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# I am a goddess

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# I am a queen

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# Stop chasing all the hype My girl

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# Stop trying to change who you are

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# Stop cutting yourself up on the outside

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# When inside is left with scars

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# That can't be healed with something materialistic

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# Can't be healed by a man who stays distant

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# It's deeper

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# Save yourself before you betray yourself

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# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ay!

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# I'm tired of seeing it So tired

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# I'm tired of feeling this Yeah

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# The world says beauty is changing

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# It's fake expectation And the riff

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# Let's get naked

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# Start meditating

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# Feel elevated and say I love my body

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# I love my skin

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# I am a goddess

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# I am a queen

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# I love my body

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# I love my skin

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# I am a goddess

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# I am a queen

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# I love my body

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# I love my skin

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# I am a goddess

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# I am a queen

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# I love my body

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# I love my skin

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# I am a goddess

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# I am a queen

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# I love my body I love my skin

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# I am a goddess I am a queen

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# I love my body I love my skin

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# I am a goddess, I am a queen... #

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Sing it, come on.

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-# I love my... AUDIENCE:

-..body

-I love my... AUDIENCE:

-..skin

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-# I am a... AUDIENCE:

-..goddess

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# I am a queen, hey! #

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Thank you.

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Whoa!

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Jessie J, ladies and gentlemen.

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Amazing! Look at the love, feel the love for Jessie J!

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-Jessie, that was amazing.

-That was fun.

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-We love that song.

-Thanks for having me.

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-Ain't they amazing? They love you.

-This is so beautiful, yeah.

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-They love you.

-# I love my body I love my skin... #

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-Sing.

-I've got a version of that.

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After extreme Photoshopping, # I love my body... #

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No. I've got to love my body.

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-You have to love your body and love your skin.

-Really?

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You have a goddess, you are a king. Yeah, right?

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Ladies and gentlemen, we must all love our bodies and our skin

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but we absolutely, for sure, love the fantastic Jessie J.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE What about that?

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Thank you so, so much. Amazing.

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So brilliant! What a voice!

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to find out

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who is going to be tonight's Unexpected Star of the show.

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CHEERING

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So, here is tonight's Unexpected Star.

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There she is.

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It's Sanjna.

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She is 17-year-old A-level student from Harrow.

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She is currently training for her black belt in taekwondo!

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There she is. AUDIENCE OOHS AND APPLAUSE

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She means business.

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Sanjna is coming to our secret location

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which is adjacent to the theatre and she thinks she's coming here

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to help teach a beginners class in taekwondo.

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Let me show you the room as it was earlier today,

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and, tonight, this is what it looks like.

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It is the MMBS - see what we've done there? Yeah?

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It stands for Michael McIntyre's Big Show

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for those of you who are less clued up.

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So, Sanjna thinks she's coming there to help her taekwondo master Aryan

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teach a class. Aryan is, of course, in on the whole thing.

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Nothing, in fact, is real.

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The real reason Sanjna is here is because her passion is singing,

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and tonight we're going to find out how she reacts

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to what will be the biggest night of her life.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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So, let's go live now to that room

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and hope that Sanjna is already in it,

0:18:530:18:57

and yes, she is.

0:18:570:18:59

So, that is Sanjna there, she's taking a glass of water.

0:18:590:19:03

They're all having a break.

0:19:030:19:05

SHE CHUCKLES

0:19:050:19:07

INDISTINCT CONVERSATION

0:19:070:19:09

That is happening right at this moment.

0:19:090:19:12

Sanjna has been nominated by her mum Chhaya and her dad Pravin

0:19:120:19:16

and they are here in the audience tonight.

0:19:160:19:18

We're going to have a little chat with them

0:19:180:19:20

and find out all about her.

0:19:200:19:22

Where's Chhaya? Chhaya!

0:19:230:19:25

Mwah! Mwah!

0:19:250:19:27

Hi, Chhaya. And Pravin! Pravin, hi.

0:19:270:19:31

It's Chhaya and Pravin, ladies and gentlemen.

0:19:310:19:33

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Mum and Dad.

0:19:330:19:35

Yes.

0:19:350:19:36

So, tell us about Sanjna?

0:19:380:19:40

Sanjna has a passion for singing,

0:19:400:19:43

a very confident person.

0:19:430:19:45

-How do you think she'll handle tonight?

-I don't know.

0:19:450:19:47

I thought she was very confident! What happened to her confidence?

0:19:470:19:50

I know she's confident, but I don't want to be in her shoes tonight.

0:19:500:19:53

No. Don't worry, you're not going to be in her shoes.

0:19:530:19:55

-No, thank God.

-And you nominated her for this.

-I did nominate her, yes.

0:19:550:19:58

-Having seen the show.

-I had seen your show.

0:19:580:20:01

We were absolutely intrigued with the show we saw.

0:20:010:20:04

That's my best ever review, thank you.

0:20:040:20:06

LAUGHTER

0:20:060:20:08

Absolutely intriguing.

0:20:080:20:10

One day, I hope the show can be described as funny.

0:20:110:20:15

For now, we'll accept "intriguing".

0:20:150:20:18

LAUGHTER

0:20:180:20:19

-So, let's say hi to Dad. Hi, Dad.

-Hi.

-So, um...

0:20:190:20:21

"What about me?" says... Who's this young man?

0:20:210:20:24

Hello, what about you? Who are you in relation to Sanjna?

0:20:240:20:28

-Her brother.

-Yeah.

0:20:280:20:30

-Do you get on well with Sanj?

-Kind of.

-OK.

0:20:300:20:33

LAUGHTER

0:20:330:20:36

And what do you think of her singing?

0:20:360:20:37

Good, she could have a good music career, yeah.

0:20:370:20:40

-You think she can have a good...? Are you Simon Cowell?

-No!

0:20:400:20:43

He's a young Simon Cowell.

0:20:430:20:45

Fantastic. Well, thanks for coming, my friend.

0:20:450:20:48

And Dad, how do you think Sanj is going to cope with tonight?

0:20:480:20:51

-I think she's going to be fine.

-Sorry!

0:20:510:20:53

LAUGHTER

0:20:530:20:55

Taken the mic. He's taken it.

0:20:550:20:57

He's taken it away. He's obviously rehearsed something.

0:20:570:21:00

Go on.

0:21:000:21:02

The show's ours!

0:21:020:21:03

# This is your moment! #

0:21:050:21:07

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:21:070:21:09

All right, brother.

0:21:090:21:12

OK...

0:21:120:21:13

You should say something.

0:21:130:21:15

How do you think Sanjna will...? Don't take the mic!

0:21:150:21:18

LAUGHTER

0:21:180:21:21

How's Sanjna going to react?

0:21:210:21:23

I think she's good, she's a confident girl,

0:21:230:21:25

so I think she shouldn't be shocked.

0:21:250:21:27

Yeah. She's going to be shocked?

0:21:270:21:29

-No.

-Not shocked.

0:21:290:21:31

She's going to take it completely in her stride?

0:21:310:21:33

She's going to walk out the thing and go, "Mum, Dad, you all right?"

0:21:330:21:36

LAUGHTER

0:21:360:21:38

How many people have come here to support Sanjna tonight?

0:21:400:21:43

LOUD CHEERING

0:21:430:21:47

Wow, they're all up!

0:21:470:21:48

CHEERING

0:21:480:21:50

There are people who aren't even here with Sanjna

0:21:500:21:53

standing at this point. OK. Well, we're very, very excited.

0:21:530:21:56

Thank you all for coming.

0:21:560:21:57

What a great, great party of people! Let's carry on. Whoohoo!

0:21:570:22:01

APPLAUSE

0:22:010:22:03

All right.

0:22:040:22:06

I think it's time to have a little bit of fun.

0:22:060:22:09

So, we can hear them now.

0:22:110:22:13

One, two! Huh!

0:22:130:22:14

Oh, goodness. Someone's just vomited.

0:22:140:22:17

So, I can communicate with a couple of people, that's Seamus there.

0:22:200:22:25

Seamus, if you can hear me,

0:22:250:22:27

catch yourself in the mirror and pull out a nose hair.

0:22:270:22:30

Gilly -

0:22:410:22:43

that's Gilly on the right -

0:22:430:22:44

if you can hear me, say, "Hiyah!" and do a big kick.

0:22:440:22:47

Hiyah!

0:22:470:22:49

-Taekwondo.

-ALL:

-Taekwondo!

0:22:530:22:56

Gilly, if you can put your hand up

0:22:560:22:58

and say, "Can I ask a question, please?"

0:22:580:23:00

Can I ask a question, please?

0:23:000:23:02

Yeah, sure.

0:23:020:23:03

"When do we learn the death choke?"

0:23:030:23:05

When do we learn the death choke?

0:23:050:23:08

We haven't got... There's nothing like that.

0:23:080:23:11

We don't call it "death choke".

0:23:110:23:13

Gilly, say, "I like to work with nunchuks."

0:23:130:23:16

Well, I'd like to work with some nunchuks.

0:23:160:23:19

Gilly, just say, "Can I tell you all why I'm here?"

0:23:250:23:28

Look, sorry, can I tell you all why I'm here?

0:23:280:23:32

"My neighbour Eileen's been giving my husband Norman the eye."

0:23:320:23:36

My neighbour Eileen's been giving my husband Norman the eye.

0:23:360:23:41

"Although it's hard to tell as one of them is glass."

0:23:410:23:43

Although it's hard to tell cos one of them's glass.

0:23:430:23:46

"She needs a good kicking."

0:23:480:23:50

Yeah, well she needs a good kicking, love.

0:23:500:23:53

You could have brought her here!

0:23:550:23:58

Gilly, say, "Eileen's got a false hip on the right."

0:23:580:24:02

Eileen's got a false hip on the right.

0:24:020:24:05

"So I need to kick her on the left."

0:24:050:24:07

So I need to kick her on the left.

0:24:070:24:09

Seamus, can you say, "Can we get on with the class, please?"

0:24:170:24:19

Can we get on with the class, please?

0:24:190:24:21

"You shut up or I'll soon have you."

0:24:210:24:22

Oh, shut up, or I'll soon have you!

0:24:220:24:24

OK, Gilly, just get back to normal now.

0:24:300:24:32

Come on.

0:24:320:24:33

I think we pushed that as far as we could.

0:24:330:24:35

Let me tell you briefly what's going to happen.

0:24:370:24:40

She's going to be brought up to meet the Grand Master.

0:24:400:24:44

The Grand Master will be played by me.

0:24:440:24:48

So, I will wait for her in my studio and as soon as she comes in,

0:24:480:24:52

I'm going to go, "Hiyah!" and then kick the walls down

0:24:520:24:55

and then they're going to fall down.

0:24:550:24:57

And then you're going to go nuts.

0:24:570:24:59

That's the plan, let's hope it works.

0:24:590:25:01

All right, good luck to all of you.

0:25:010:25:03

And then, of course, she'll be singing us out

0:25:040:25:07

which her family are so confident, I can't wait to hear that.

0:25:070:25:11

OK. I think we're almost ready to bring her up.

0:25:110:25:15

But how, you might ask, are we going to get Sanjna to come up

0:25:150:25:19

to meet the Grand Master.

0:25:190:25:21

Well, for that, I'm going to need a little bit of help.

0:25:210:25:24

It's the Taekwondo Heavyweight World Champion,

0:25:240:25:28

Britain's own Bianca Walkden.

0:25:280:25:30

Bianca, there she is.

0:25:300:25:32

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:320:25:33

-Hi.

-Hello!

0:25:330:25:34

OK, Bianca.

0:25:370:25:38

-Yes.

-Huge congratulations for winning two World Championships.

0:25:380:25:42

CHEERING

0:25:420:25:44

OK. Your first line is going to be,

0:25:440:25:46

"Welcome to my dojang that I own with the Grand Master."

0:25:460:25:50

-OK. OK.

-Good luck.

0:25:500:25:52

-OK.

-Thank you, Bianca.

-OK.

0:25:520:25:54

So, if you was coming at me,

0:25:540:25:57

and you've got me arms, how would I...?

0:25:570:26:00

-Hello.

-Hi.

0:26:000:26:01

Welcome to my dojang.

0:26:010:26:04

Hi, Hi. Hello, how are you, OK?

0:26:040:26:07

-Say, "Do you recognise me?"

-Do you recognise me?

0:26:070:26:11

Then say, "Ask me how many gold medals I've won."

0:26:110:26:14

Ask me how many gold medals I've got.

0:26:140:26:16

-Three?

-I wish I had three, but I've got two.

0:26:170:26:20

Boom!

0:26:200:26:21

LAUGHTER

0:26:210:26:24

Thank you, thank you.

0:26:240:26:25

Right, now say, "Can I just sit in and watch for a bit?"

0:26:250:26:29

Can I just sit down and watch from a bit? Is it OK? Just sit here.

0:26:290:26:33

And going round and the camera should pick me up

0:26:330:26:35

and you'll see me in there.

0:26:350:26:36

And really, really, I have to ask you, when this all is happening,

0:26:360:26:40

just be super quiet until the wall falls down.

0:26:400:26:43

OK. You all up for that? Everybody in on this?

0:26:430:26:45

Let's do this. Right, I'm heading out.

0:26:450:26:48

Hello, everybody.

0:26:550:26:57

OK. So, I am in my room,

0:26:580:27:02

I've got to get dressed, I've got to get dressed, hold on.

0:27:020:27:05

I've got to Grand Master up.

0:27:050:27:07

MUFFLED: They've decked... Ohh!

0:27:090:27:11

They've decked the place out with some things

0:27:110:27:15

just to make it authentic...

0:27:150:27:16

That's me after Christmas.

0:27:200:27:22

LAUGHTER

0:27:220:27:26

Oh, where's my black belt?

0:27:260:27:29

Where is it?

0:27:290:27:30

Oh, yes! There it is.

0:27:310:27:33

Right, black belt, all right, OK.

0:27:360:27:39

Aah.

0:27:450:27:47

Waaah!

0:27:520:27:54

Hi....

0:27:550:27:57

All right, I'm feeling I'm in it, I'm in it.

0:27:580:28:01

I'm going to phone Bianca

0:28:010:28:03

and ask her to come up to meet the Grand Master

0:28:030:28:06

and then this is all going to happen

0:28:060:28:08

and then this is going to fall down and we're going to see all of you.

0:28:080:28:11

OK.

0:28:110:28:12

Let's see, here we go. I'm ringing her now.

0:28:120:28:16

RINGTONE PLAYS: Gold by Spandau Ballet

0:28:180:28:21

Sorry, hang on, I really need to take this.

0:28:260:28:28

It's the Grand Master. Hello?

0:28:280:28:31

Bianca, Bianca, this is the Grand Master.

0:28:310:28:34

Please send up Sanjna to meet me. Thank you.

0:28:340:28:37

Oh, OK. Of course, Grand Master, I'll be there soon.

0:28:370:28:40

OK, bye. Bye-bye.

0:28:400:28:42

The Grand Master wants to come and see you, you two.

0:28:440:28:47

Do you want to come with me now?

0:28:470:28:49

Is that OK?

0:28:490:28:50

Just come this way, dead quick.

0:28:500:28:53

Be careful of your leg, yeah.

0:28:550:28:58

Thank you.

0:28:580:29:00

So, cos like, we co-own it with the Grand Master, so...

0:29:020:29:05

INDISTINCT

0:29:050:29:08

If it wasn't, if he wasn't there, I wouldn't be...

0:29:110:29:14

Like, he's my Grand Master.

0:29:140:29:16

He's quality. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be where I am today.

0:29:160:29:20

I'll let you in one at a time.

0:29:200:29:23

When you go in, just put your shoes to the side

0:29:230:29:25

and just stand there and say, "Hi." Yeah, OK. Just go in.

0:29:250:29:29

Hiya.

0:29:350:29:37

Hiya!

0:29:390:29:42

Hiya!

0:29:440:29:48

LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:29:480:29:52

SHE YELLS

0:29:560:30:00

-Oh, my...

-Sanjna, it's going to be on TV.

0:30:050:30:09

It's going to be on TV.

0:30:090:30:11

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:30:130:30:15

it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show, Sanjna!

0:30:150:30:19

-It's OK.

-I was watching you the other day, I was watching you!

0:30:190:30:23

Well, Sanjna, we have been watching you all night, next door.

0:30:230:30:30

Look over there, it's only your mum and dad

0:30:300:30:33

and all your friends and family!

0:30:330:30:35

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:30:350:30:37

Sanj, what a millennial you are

0:30:410:30:44

that as soon as you came out,

0:30:440:30:46

you started making your own TV show on your phone.

0:30:460:30:50

I was so confused. I was like, I thought you were like legit, like.

0:30:500:30:53

-I didn't know what to say.

-Yes, you thought I was the Grand Master.

0:30:530:30:56

-Oh, my gosh.

-Come and join me on stage.

0:30:560:30:59

What about that? Sanj, wasn't she amazing? Sanjna!

0:30:590:31:02

CHEERING

0:31:020:31:04

-Come on. Come over here, let's have a chat.

-That's so bad.

0:31:040:31:07

So, Sanjna, everything that's been going on next door...

0:31:120:31:18

I haven't got my glasses on!

0:31:180:31:20

Well, even without your glasses, let me explain what's in front of you.

0:31:200:31:24

There is 2,500 blurry people.

0:31:240:31:28

Oh, that's Santosh.

0:31:280:31:29

Yes, we've recognised Santosh.

0:31:290:31:32

-And Auntie.

-Yes, Auntie's here.

0:31:320:31:34

SHE YELLS

0:31:340:31:36

Yeah, come on, let's go closer.

0:31:360:31:39

We can get a closer look.

0:31:390:31:40

You see them now?

0:31:400:31:42

ALL SCREAM

0:31:420:31:44

Everybody's here, there's your brother,

0:31:460:31:48

and they're all going to support you tonight, Sanjna.

0:31:480:31:50

Do you remember these guys?

0:31:500:31:52

-There they are.

-Oh, my God, this happens!

0:31:520:31:55

Yeah, this does happen.

0:31:550:31:58

Sanj, apart from taekwondo, what do you enjoy doing?

0:31:580:32:01

-Er, singing.

-Ah...

0:32:010:32:04

Well, what we're going to ask you tonight

0:32:040:32:07

is if you will be something called our Unexpected Star of the show,

0:32:070:32:11

and you're going to sing us out for these people

0:32:110:32:14

and for the millions watching at home.

0:32:140:32:17

But, of course, you have to agree, Sanjna.

0:32:170:32:19

-Yes, of course.

-Will you do it? Sanjna's up for it, well done.

0:32:190:32:24

CHEERING

0:32:240:32:26

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:32:260:32:28

it's our Unexpected Star of tonight's show, Sanjna!

0:32:280:32:32

Off you go that way.

0:32:340:32:36

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:32:360:32:38

OK, now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to play the Midnight Gameshow.

0:32:470:32:52

This is no ordinary game show, ladies and gentlemen.

0:32:580:33:01

The contestants in Midnight Gameshow had no idea

0:33:010:33:04

that they would be indeed taking part.

0:33:040:33:07

They went to sleep safe and sound, tucked up in their beds,

0:33:070:33:10

only to be woken up in the dead of night

0:33:100:33:13

by me and the camera crew,

0:33:130:33:15

to answer a series of questions

0:33:150:33:17

while semi-conscious in the Midnight Gameshow.

0:33:170:33:21

Yes, this is the only game show

0:33:210:33:25

where if you snooze...

0:33:250:33:27

-ALL:

-You lose!

0:33:270:33:28

Tonight's contestant is Lee.

0:33:280:33:31

He is a 30-year-old plasterer from Essex

0:33:310:33:35

and he was set up by his wife Taylor.

0:33:350:33:38

Lee and Taylor are here in the audience tonight

0:33:380:33:40

and we're going to go and have a chat with them.

0:33:400:33:43

Where are you Lee? There they are.

0:33:430:33:45

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Lee and Taylor.

0:33:450:33:48

Come on, Lee.

0:33:480:33:49

Oh, Lee.

0:33:500:33:52

Darling, how are you?

0:33:530:33:54

-I'm good.

-And, of course, Taylor, you're pregnant!

0:33:540:33:56

Round of applause, congratulations.

0:33:560:33:59

So, you set him up. Why would you do such a thing to him?

0:34:000:34:04

Well, he likes to think of himself as a comedian.

0:34:040:34:08

-Right. Likewise.

-So, I thought, who better to prank you...

0:34:080:34:12

than his like biggest, you know, comedian ever.

0:34:120:34:15

He loves you.

0:34:150:34:17

Lee, when I met you in the middle of the night,

0:34:170:34:20

which is at three o'clock in the morning, I didn't get a sense

0:34:200:34:24

that you knew who I or anybody else in the world was.

0:34:240:34:28

So, what do you remember

0:34:280:34:30

the night you went to sleep, then, just a regular evening?

0:34:300:34:34

Well, yeah.

0:34:340:34:35

The room was clean, which...

0:34:350:34:37

Oh, bit rude!

0:34:370:34:38

-..hasn't been cleaned for a while.

-I know!

0:34:410:34:44

-So you tidied up a bit.

-I just didn't think nothing of it.

0:34:440:34:47

And went to sleep, and there you was.

0:34:470:34:49

LAUGHTER

0:34:490:34:50

So, there's a couple of things we need to talk about

0:34:500:34:53

before we watch it. Firstly, you are a football fan.

0:34:530:34:56

You do support the Spurs, Tottenham Hotspur.

0:34:560:34:59

CHEERING

0:34:590:35:01

All right, all right, all right!

0:35:010:35:04

You've even got a tattoo of the cockerel.

0:35:040:35:06

So, a big fan of Spurs.

0:35:060:35:07

Another thing we need to talk about

0:35:070:35:11

is your very neat hair currently.

0:35:110:35:14

It's not like that in the middle of the night, is it?

0:35:160:35:19

No.

0:35:190:35:21

And the last thing I need to get out of the way is, I think,

0:35:210:35:24

the problem here is that you had just woken up

0:35:240:35:27

before we got into the room.

0:35:270:35:30

And this led to, without a shadow of a doubt,

0:35:300:35:34

the most extreme reaction...

0:35:340:35:36

..we've ever had.

0:35:370:35:39

Ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy Lee's Midnight Gameshow.

0:35:390:35:44

CHEERING

0:35:440:35:47

OWL HOOTS

0:35:480:35:51

Here we go again.

0:35:560:35:57

FLOORBOARD CREAKS

0:36:130:36:15

Ughhh!

0:36:380:36:39

Lee!

0:36:410:36:42

Welcome to the Midnight Gameshow!

0:36:440:36:51

Lee's on the floor. Lee, welcome!

0:36:510:36:54

How are you? Good to see you.

0:36:540:36:57

Pretty extreme reaction.

0:36:580:37:01

-Are you all right, are you all right?

-Yeah.

0:37:010:37:03

Are you OK? How are you? How are you?

0:37:030:37:06

This is the Midnight Gameshow.

0:37:060:37:08

Lovely to meet you, my friend.

0:37:080:37:09

Let's get comfortable, there are prizes to be won.

0:37:090:37:12

Come on. Goodness me, goodness me.

0:37:120:37:15

Just relax. We're going to ask...

0:37:150:37:18

Lie down...

0:37:180:37:20

Lee, we're going to crack on

0:37:200:37:21

because the bedside clock is ticking.

0:37:210:37:23

I'm going to ask you to name three breeds of dog, Lee.

0:37:230:37:27

Alsatian.

0:37:270:37:29

-CHIME That's correct.

-Golden retriever.

0:37:290:37:31

-CHIME You're absolutely fine.

-Pit bull.

0:37:310:37:34

CHIME Amazing. You don't have one!

0:37:340:37:36

Maybe you need to get one so this doesn't happen again!

0:37:360:37:39

OK. What word are these cheerleaders spelling?

0:37:410:37:44

THEY CHEER

0:37:440:37:46

# Y-A-W-N, say YAWN! #

0:37:490:37:53

ALL CHEER

0:37:530:37:56

OK, what's that word?

0:37:570:37:59

-What?

-Y-A-W-N.

0:38:030:38:05

Yawn!

0:38:050:38:07

CHIME Yawn, congratulations.

0:38:070:38:09

ALL CHEER Thanks, girls, thank you!

0:38:090:38:11

Thank you, thank you.

0:38:110:38:12

Who, Lee, is this?

0:38:120:38:15

Hello, Ossie! How are you?

0:38:170:38:20

Sorry, I'm going to need his full name.

0:38:200:38:22

Ossie Ardiles.

0:38:220:38:24

CHIME That's the correct answer.

0:38:240:38:25

Jolly good.

0:38:250:38:27

OK. Could you please now chant

0:38:270:38:29

any well-known Spurs song?

0:38:290:38:32

# Glory, glory, Tottenham Hotspurs!

0:38:340:38:38

# Glory, glory, Tottenham Hotspurs!

0:38:380:38:41

# Glory, glory, Tottenham Hotspurs!

0:38:410:38:44

# And the Spurs go marching in! #

0:38:440:38:46

CHIME Yes!

0:38:460:38:48

That's another point, congratulations!

0:38:480:38:50

Very good. Thank you very much, Ossie Ardiles! Legend!

0:38:500:38:54

Right, now, I'm going to ask you, Lee,

0:38:540:38:58

to complete the lyric at the end of this song.

0:38:580:39:03

# What have you done today to make me feel...? #

0:39:030:39:07

So good?

0:39:070:39:08

BUZZER "So good"?

0:39:080:39:10

LAUGHTER

0:39:100:39:12

-So good!

-Bad.

0:39:120:39:15

It's a new version.

0:39:180:39:20

# What have you done to me to make you feel...so good? #

0:39:200:39:24

Complete this lyric.

0:39:240:39:27

# Search for the hero... #

0:39:270:39:29

Inside yourself.

0:39:290:39:30

CHIME Yay. Much better. Much better.

0:39:300:39:33

Much better. And we have one more.

0:39:330:39:35

# Moving on up you're moving on out

0:39:350:39:39

# Time to break free nothing can... #

0:39:390:39:42

Stop me.

0:39:420:39:44

CHIME Yay. Very, very good.

0:39:440:39:46

Stop the bedside clock! And goodnight!

0:39:460:39:49

APPLAUSE

0:39:490:39:51

-I know.

-Oh, good.

0:40:020:40:04

LAUGHTER

0:40:040:40:07

Well done. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:270:40:29

Well done. That was really, really good.

0:40:290:40:32

Can we watch that again?

0:40:320:40:33

Let's have a look at you deal with somebody breaking in in the night?

0:40:330:40:37

Ugh!

0:40:370:40:39

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:40:390:40:41

Lee!

0:40:410:40:43

Oh, brilliant.

0:40:470:40:49

You took it in your stride a bit with Ossie?

0:40:510:40:54

-Yeah.

-Had you met him before?

0:40:540:40:56

-No, no.

-This is a Spurs legend, he's won the World Cup!

-Yeah, yeah.

0:40:560:40:59

He just walked he and you were like old mates, really. "Hello, Ossie."

0:40:590:41:02

Like he normally brings you your cocoa in the middle of the night!

0:41:020:41:06

"It's time you to wake up, Mr Lee.

0:41:060:41:08

"Work is coming, I've drawn you a bath. OK?"

0:41:090:41:11

Brilliant. Well, listen, Taylor, thank you so, so much

0:41:140:41:16

-for setting him up.

-Thank you.

-You've been a brilliant sport.

0:41:160:41:19

For taking part, you have qualified

0:41:190:41:21

for our iconic silver Do Not Disturb sign

0:41:210:41:24

which means this will never happen to you again.

0:41:240:41:27

So, you can have that. We've also got you a couple of presents here.

0:41:270:41:30

I have you a set of hairbrushes...

0:41:300:41:32

..for before you go to sleep, there you go.

0:41:340:41:36

And, of course, I've also got this signed...

0:41:360:41:39

This is from Ossie Ardiles, one of your heroes.

0:41:390:41:42

This is for you, and it says, "Sweet dreams, Ossie Ardiles."

0:41:420:41:46

-That's for you to remember the night. Thank you so much.

-Thank you.

0:41:460:41:50

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Ladies and gentlemen...

0:41:500:41:53

It's Lee and his wife Taylor!

0:41:530:41:55

CHEERING

0:41:550:41:56

Ah, brilliant.

0:41:580:42:00

# Y-A-W-N, say Y-A-W-N! #

0:42:000:42:02

"Sorry, don't know."

0:42:020:42:05

LAUGHTER

0:42:050:42:07

Now, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure

0:42:070:42:09

to welcome one of the most successful British bands

0:42:090:42:12

of all time here tonight, and Welsh rock royalty,

0:42:120:42:15

it's the Stereophonics!

0:42:150:42:16

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:160:42:19

# Wolves in the woods

0:42:350:42:37

# Don't play by the rules

0:42:370:42:40

# From mouth to ear

0:42:400:42:42

# Anything's possible

0:42:420:42:45

# Set the needle down

0:42:460:42:48

# Take it back to the start

0:42:480:42:51

# When do we lose

0:42:510:42:54

# Just how free we are?

0:42:540:42:57

# Help yourself to what you want

0:42:570:43:00

# Get caught by the wind

0:43:000:43:03

# Believing you can fly

0:43:030:43:05

# Celebrate everything

0:43:050:43:08

# Sunbathing on the roof

0:43:080:43:11

# Watching aeroplanes

0:43:110:43:13

# Believing you can live

0:43:130:43:16

# Yeah, forever and a day

0:43:160:43:19

# Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa

0:43:190:43:22

# Whoa, oh, oh

0:43:220:43:25

# Whoa, oh-oh, oh, whoa

0:43:250:43:30

# Every chain got a broken link

0:43:300:43:36

# Jump off the boat you can swim or sink

0:43:360:43:41

# The swallows dive through the summer nights

0:43:410:43:46

# Something beautiful money just don't buy

0:43:460:43:52

# Help yourself to what you want

0:43:520:43:55

# Get caught by the wind

0:43:550:43:57

# Believing you can fly

0:43:570:44:00

# Celebrate everything

0:44:000:44:03

# Sunbathing on the roof

0:44:030:44:07

# Watching aeroplanes

0:44:070:44:08

# Believing you can live

0:44:080:44:11

# Yeah, forever and a day

0:44:110:44:14

# Don't say it's over

0:44:140:44:17

# It's never over

0:44:170:44:20

# There's always time to change

0:44:200:44:22

# And start again today

0:44:220:44:25

# Right now

0:44:250:44:27

# Wolves in the woods

0:44:280:44:30

# Don't play by the rules

0:44:300:44:34

# From mouth to ear

0:44:340:44:36

# Anything's possible

0:44:360:44:39

# Help yourself to what you want

0:44:390:44:41

# Get caught by the wind

0:44:410:44:45

# Believing you can fly

0:44:450:44:47

# Celebrate everything

0:44:470:44:50

# Sunbathing on the roof

0:44:500:44:53

# Watching aeroplanes

0:44:530:44:56

# Believing you can live

0:44:560:44:58

# Yeah, forever and a day

0:44:580:45:01

-# Oh, yeah

-Whoa, whoa

0:45:010:45:04

-# Oh, yeah

-Whoa, whoa, oh-oh

0:45:040:45:07

-# Oh, yeah, celebrate everything

-Whoa, whoa

0:45:070:45:11

-# Oh, yeah

-Help yourself to what you want

0:45:110:45:15

-# Yeah

-Get caught by the wind

0:45:150:45:18

-# Yeah

-Believing you can fly

0:45:180:45:20

-# Oh, get caught by the wind

-Celebrate everything

0:45:200:45:23

-# Oh, yeah

-Sunbathing on the roof

0:45:230:45:25

-# Oh, yeah

-Watching aeroplanes

0:45:250:45:28

-# Oh, yeah

-Believing you can live

0:45:280:45:31

-# Oh, be caught but the wind

-Yeah, forever and a day. #

0:45:310:45:34

Thank you!

0:45:440:45:46

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:45:460:45:47

-Thank you very much.

-Stereophonics, ladies and gentlemen!

0:45:470:45:52

Tune! Tune!

0:45:520:45:55

LAUGHTER

0:45:590:46:01

I was going to have a chat to them!

0:46:010:46:03

All right. I don't know if Kelly just pressed some button.

0:46:070:46:10

It was like the garage door.

0:46:100:46:12

IN WELSH ACCENT: "All right, McIntyre."

0:46:120:46:14

Stereophonics, ladies and gentlemen!

0:46:140:46:17

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:46:170:46:19

Now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to find out

0:46:190:46:21

what replies Alan Shearer has received.

0:46:210:46:24

It's time to play Send To All.

0:46:240:46:27

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:46:270:46:28

OK.

0:46:280:46:30

All right, Alan. Let's get this on.

0:46:300:46:32

Let's remind you of what the text was.

0:46:320:46:34

The text that I sent in to Alan Shearer's phone

0:46:340:46:37

earlier tonight was...

0:46:370:46:39

..with the emoji of his old celebration.

0:46:570:47:00

OK. I can tell you that a text has just come in from Ant.

0:47:000:47:05

-Would that be Ant Ant?

-That would be Ant Ant, yes.

0:47:050:47:08

Ant from Ant and Dec.

0:47:080:47:09

OK. It's so fun!

0:47:090:47:12

"It's a deal. Particularly happy about the groin massage!"

0:47:120:47:16

LAUGHTER

0:47:160:47:18

Straight in. He's loving it.

0:47:200:47:22

Ant McPartlin is your new assistant.

0:47:220:47:25

Although you're going to have to pay him quite a hefty salary.

0:47:250:47:29

-"Tongue Jo"?

-Oh, no, that's my daughter's boss.

0:47:290:47:34

-That's my boss.

-Your boss?

0:47:340:47:36

Why is she called Tongue...?

0:47:360:47:38

-She's Jo Tongue.

-Oh, Jo Tongue, OK.

0:47:380:47:41

"Your tight satin Match Of The Day shirts need ironing?

0:47:410:47:46

"Just stretch them over your retirement belly!"

0:47:460:47:50

And then a nice emoji of the winking...

0:47:530:47:56

"But I reckon I could manage your diary.

0:47:570:48:01

"Saturday night, 10.30pm, repeat weekly."

0:48:010:48:04

LAUGHTER

0:48:040:48:06

"How hard can it be?"

0:48:060:48:08

OK. Jermaine Jenas is in.

0:48:100:48:13

"Does it also include having to polish that bald head of yours?"

0:48:130:48:19

Ronan Keating - "Double my salary?

0:48:190:48:21

"Jeez, did you win the EuroMillions?

0:48:210:48:25

"I'm in, when do I start?"

0:48:270:48:30

-Who's Mobile Nigel?

-He's my brother-in-law - Nigel's mobile.

0:48:300:48:34

"Your Match Of The Day shirts should be in the bin,

0:48:340:48:36

"and I wouldn't touch your old legs if you paid me triple my salary.

0:48:360:48:41

"I would have a go at caddying, though, let me know, old timer."

0:48:410:48:46

Rob Armstrong, just a quick one, who's that?

0:48:460:48:49

Crazy friend from Newcastle.

0:48:490:48:50

-What does he do for a living?

-You don't want to know.

0:48:500:48:53

-Well, I think we do. What does Rob do?

-He was a debt collector.

0:48:530:48:56

-He's a debt collector?

-He was.

-And he's a crazy friend from Newcastle.

0:48:560:49:00

-He is crazy, yeah.

-I think we can all picture this guy.

0:49:000:49:02

He's a big lad, and he's like, "All right, Alan?"

0:49:020:49:06

He's only texted five words.

0:49:060:49:09

One of them is the word "when" which he's spelt W-E-N.

0:49:090:49:13

And he's just gone, "Mint, wen do I start?"

0:49:130:49:17

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:49:170:49:21

"Mint, wen do I start?"

0:49:210:49:24

OK. Mark Lawrenson! Ah, all these legendary players

0:49:260:49:30

and pundits coming through.

0:49:300:49:32

"Don't think I'm qualified enough, sorry.

0:49:320:49:35

"Try Hansen, he's doing sweet FA."

0:49:350:49:39

OK. Dec. Let's go for...

0:49:410:49:42

We've had Ant. Ant and Dec.

0:49:420:49:44

"Hi, Al, not sure this was meant for me.

0:49:440:49:47

"I'll gladly iron your shirt for double my current salary,

0:49:470:49:50

"but I reckon you'll only be able to afford me for two weeks.

0:49:500:49:54

"PS, I'll do the hamstring and groin rubs for free, though."

0:49:540:49:58

There you go. Dec's in on that. All right.

0:49:580:50:02

Oh, my God, a hilarious one's just come in from Peter Davo.

0:50:020:50:05

-Who's that?

-He's a friend of mine in Newcastle.

-His friend of yours?

0:50:050:50:08

He's just gone, "You never had a hamstring injury.

0:50:080:50:11

"You have to run fast to get of those!"

0:50:110:50:13

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:50:130:50:17

OK. Jo Thompson?

0:50:190:50:21

-Oh.

-Who's Jo Thompson?

-She's the wife of a friend of mine.

0:50:210:50:24

Alan Thompson, he used to play for Newcastle.

0:50:240:50:27

I don't know what this is about

0:50:270:50:29

but it is the longest text you've ever received.

0:50:290:50:32

And it has ticks in it.

0:50:320:50:35

"Number one, managing diary, tick.

0:50:350:50:38

"Number two, ironing..." in brackets,

0:50:400:50:42

"..got a Girl Guides' Happy Housekeeper badge. Tick.

0:50:420:50:47

"Number three, massage in very sensitive

0:50:470:50:50

"and sometimes painful areas..."

0:50:500:50:53

in brackets, "full-on PhD in this one, double tick.

0:50:530:50:57

"Number four, caddying, question mark.

0:50:580:51:01

"Hm. Then three emojis of the thinking person.

0:51:010:51:05

"Now we're in uncharted territory.

0:51:050:51:07

"Mind you, if it helps,

0:51:070:51:09

"I'm very experienced in lugging around a dead weight on my back.

0:51:090:51:14

"Well, you've given me a right good laugh there.

0:51:160:51:19

"Terms and conditions, mind, salary, four question marks.

0:51:190:51:23

"Double of nothing is nothing.

0:51:230:51:27

"So, as long as there is a lifetime of friendship,

0:51:280:51:31

"love and happiness for all of our gorgeous families, I'm in!"

0:51:310:51:37

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:51:370:51:39

"Take the job card out of the Post Office window, position filled!"

0:51:410:51:47

Love it! She's got it, she's in. You've been such, such fun.

0:51:470:51:52

Alan Shearer, thank you so, so much in for being here.

0:51:520:51:56

Ladies and gentlemen! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:51:560:51:58

-ALL CHANT:

-Shearer, Shearer, Shearer, Shearer!

0:51:580:52:02

It's Alan Shearer! Fantastic, bravo.

0:52:020:52:05

Thank you so much, Alan.

0:52:050:52:07

OK. Earlier tonight, ladies and gentlemen,

0:52:100:52:13

as you remember, we surprised Sanjna.

0:52:130:52:17

But Sanjna reached for her phone

0:52:170:52:20

in the moment to record... This is what young people are like.

0:52:200:52:24

As soon as anything happens, they just start filming it.

0:52:240:52:27

And she filmed it. So, I think we've actually got that footage of her.

0:52:270:52:31

Have we got that of what Sanjna filmed?

0:52:310:52:33

Sanjna, it's going to be on TV. It's going to be on TV.

0:52:330:52:37

CHEERING

0:52:370:52:40

So, that is Sanjna's own footage of what happened earlier,

0:52:400:52:44

which is amazing. So, she has been backstage rehearsing,

0:52:440:52:49

and getting ready for her big performance.

0:52:490:52:52

Let's have a little look at how our Unexpected Star

0:52:520:52:55

of this show has been getting on.

0:52:550:52:57

When I went into that dojo,

0:53:000:53:02

I thought I was training a new beginner class of taekwondo.

0:53:020:53:04

I actually was thinking, "It's legit."

0:53:040:53:06

I thought it was legit.

0:53:060:53:08

So, when he kicked down the wall, I wanted to burst out laughing.

0:53:080:53:11

Oh, my gosh. I was really shocked.

0:53:110:53:13

So, Sanjna was in total shock when she walked in.

0:53:130:53:15

She said she felt like she was in a dream.

0:53:150:53:17

And actually her voice is beautiful, so,

0:53:170:53:20

she's got a real depth to her sound for a 17-year-old.

0:53:200:53:22

She sounds great.

0:53:220:53:24

-I can speak to you on that.

-It's crispy.

0:53:240:53:26

There's a huge note at the end of the song

0:53:260:53:27

that she has to hold for a long time. When she first tried it,

0:53:270:53:30

she didn't have the breath support to be able to do it.

0:53:300:53:32

But now she's really nailing it

0:53:320:53:34

that's probably the peak moment of the song.

0:53:340:53:36

She's been in hair styling, staging, vocals.

0:53:360:53:39

She's got a ten-piece orchestra,

0:53:390:53:40

and some band there. Her voice needs to raise to the occasion.

0:53:400:53:43

But I think she's going to be all right, fingers crossed. Let's go.

0:53:430:53:47

Now that I've done all the rehearsals,

0:53:470:53:50

I'm really excited to go on stage,

0:53:500:53:51

and just, it's going to go really good.

0:53:510:53:53

It's a dream come true, to be honest.

0:53:530:53:55

APPLAUSE

0:53:570:53:58

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment has arrived.

0:53:580:54:01

This is an absolutely massive moment for Sanjna.

0:54:010:54:04

Please give her all the love you possibly can.

0:54:040:54:07

Please welcome our Unexpected Star of the tonight show, it's Sanjna!

0:54:070:54:12

WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:54:120:54:15

# Birds flyin' high you know how I feel

0:54:240:54:32

# Sun in the sky you know how I feel

0:54:320:54:37

# Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

0:54:370:54:44

# It's a new dawn it's a new day

0:54:440:54:47

# It's a new life

0:54:470:54:50

# For me

0:54:500:54:54

# And I'm feelin' good

0:54:540:55:00

# Dragonfly out in the sun

0:55:090:55:12

# You know what I mean don't you know

0:55:120:55:16

# Butterflies all havin' fun

0:55:170:55:20

# You know what I mean

0:55:200:55:23

# Sleep in peace when day is done

0:55:230:55:27

# That's what I mean

0:55:270:55:29

# And this old world is a new world

0:55:290:55:33

# And a bold world

0:55:330:55:36

# For me

0:55:360:55:42

# Stars when you shine you know how I feel

0:55:520:55:58

# Scent of the pine you know how I feel, yeah

0:55:580:56:04

# Freedom is mine

0:56:040:56:08

# And I know how I feel

0:56:080:56:11

# It's a new dawn, it's a new day

0:56:110:56:14

# It's a new life

0:56:140:56:17

# It's a new dawn, it's a new day

0:56:180:56:22

# It's a new life

0:56:220:56:25

# It's a new dawn, it's a new day

0:56:250:56:28

# It's a new life

0:56:280:56:32

# For me

0:56:320:56:41

# And I'm feeling good. #

0:56:410:56:51

WILD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:56:510:56:55

Sanjna, ladies and gentlemen!

0:56:550:56:57

Sanj!

0:56:570:57:00

Well done. Look at that!

0:57:000:57:03

CHEERING CONTINUES

0:57:030:57:04

Oh, wow.

0:57:040:57:06

That was amazing.

0:57:080:57:09

Sanj!

0:57:090:57:11

Woo!

0:57:140:57:15

SANJNA LAUGHS Woo!

0:57:150:57:18

You have got sass.

0:57:180:57:20

-How did you find that?

-It was quite overwhelming.

0:57:200:57:24

You were amazing. Wasn't she amazing? Come on!

0:57:240:57:27

CHEERING What about that?!

0:57:270:57:29

Mum's in bits over there.

0:57:290:57:31

So proud.

0:57:310:57:34

Come on, Mum. Come up. Come on, Mum and Dad.

0:57:340:57:36

APPLAUSE

0:57:360:57:39

It's Chhaya!

0:57:390:57:41

Well done, Chhaya.

0:57:410:57:44

Keep coming, come on, guys.

0:57:440:57:46

Oh! They're all coming up!

0:57:460:57:49

Ooh, hello. Hello.

0:57:490:57:50

Jeez, are you kidding? It's the whole audience!

0:57:500:57:53

Are you joking!

0:57:550:57:57

What?!

0:57:580:58:00

LAUGHTER

0:58:000:58:01

All right, where's Sanjna?

0:58:010:58:04

I can't find her!

0:58:040:58:05

Oh, look at you.

0:58:050:58:07

Oh, what's going on here?

0:58:070:58:10

Are you OK? Do you know Sanjna?

0:58:140:58:16

Yeah...

0:58:160:58:18

Sorry. There's so many people on the stage, I... I just had to check.

0:58:180:58:24

So, listen, ladies and gentlemen,

0:58:240:58:26

please, one more time for an absolutely sensational

0:58:260:58:28

Unexpected Star of tonight's show,

0:58:280:58:31

our taekwondo-fighting Sanjna! CHEERING

0:58:310:58:34

Well done. Congratulations.

0:58:340:58:36

Thank you very much.

0:58:360:58:38

Goodnight! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:58:380:58:40

If you know somebody you'd like to nominate

0:58:400:58:43

to be an Unexpected Star of the show for the next series,

0:58:430:58:46

or in fact want to nominate someone for any surprise,

0:58:460:58:49

please go to bbc.co.uk/bigshow for all the details.

0:58:490:58:55

Family entertainment with Michael McIntyre.

Featuring music performances from the incredible Jessie J and Welsh rock heroes Stereophonics.

Premier League legend Alan Shearer hands over his phone in Celebrity Send To All, and Michael sneaks into another house in the jaw-dropping Midnight Gameshow.

Plus new comedy material from Michael himself and a young taekwondo coach gets the surprise of her life when she becomes the Unexpected Star.


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