Mammy's Break Mrs Brown's Boys
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Transcript
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|---|---|---|---|
This programme contains strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:10 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:00:10 | 0:00:11 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:16 | |
-# She's Mrs Brown -Agnes | 0:00:16 | 0:00:19 | |
-# That's Mrs Brown -Agnes | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
# Our Mrs Brown. # | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
# Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm Ooh, ooh | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
# Eh, eh, eh, eh Ooh, ooh | 0:00:26 | 0:00:27 | |
# Eh, eh, eh, eh Ooh, ooh... # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Heh heh heh. | 0:00:29 | 0:00:31 | |
# La, la, la, la | 0:00:31 | 0:00:33 | |
# La, la, la, la... # | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
Hello. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:00:38 | 0:00:39 | |
You know, I always feel such a sense of joy this day, every year. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:42 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:00:42 | 0:00:44 | |
It's my anniversary! | 0:00:46 | 0:00:47 | |
27 years this year. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
Good morning, Winnie. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
Good morning! Happy anniversary! | 0:00:53 | 0:00:56 | |
Thank you, love. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:57 | |
-Do you know, it only seems like yesterday. -I know! | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
I was behind you as you walked down that aisle. | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
And I looked past you | 0:01:03 | 0:01:04 | |
and I could see your Redser in front of the altar... | 0:01:04 | 0:01:07 | |
..in the coffin. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
Weren't the flowers beautiful? | 0:01:12 | 0:01:13 | |
Oh, yeah. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:16 | |
I think I'll treat meself this year. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
-A party? -No, a trip away somewhere. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
Nowhere grand, you know, just maybe Galway or the Isle of Man. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
Galway Races are on next week. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
That's right, Winnie. I could do that. | 0:01:25 | 0:01:28 | |
DOOR CLOSES | 0:01:28 | 0:01:29 | |
-Hiya, Mammy. -Hello, son. | 0:01:29 | 0:01:32 | |
How are you, Mrs McGoogan? | 0:01:32 | 0:01:33 | |
Hiya, Rory. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
You look very down, love. What's wrong? | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
Did Take That break up again? | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
Oh, Mammy, don't say that! | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
I'd ride that Gary Barlow. | 0:01:42 | 0:01:45 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:45 | 0:01:49 | |
-Did I say that out loud? -Yes! | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
It's poor Dino. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
He hates living in that hotel since he lost his bedsit. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
Last week you said that you already had an apartment. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
But that's what we thought. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:03 | |
Now the owner is saying he's not sure if we can have it for a couple of weeks. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
If it's only two weeks, he can stay here. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
With Dermot gone there's plenty of room. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
-Really? -Yes! | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
Oh, that'd be fabulous! | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
Is that the time already? I'd better go. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:16 | |
And, Rory, tell Dino I'll do that thing for him. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:22 | |
What's Winnie doing for Dino? | 0:02:23 | 0:02:25 | |
I'm not sure, I wasn't really listening. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:29 | |
And, Mammy, to thank you | 0:02:29 | 0:02:30 | |
I'm going to do something really special for ya. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:33 | |
Oh, no, no. There's no need... Well, yeah... | 0:02:33 | 0:02:36 | |
I'm going to go in and ring Dino now and tell him. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
Do you know, I knew this was going to happen. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
Jimmy Gennochi said it would. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
Who the Jesus is Jimmy Gennochi? | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
The psychic! He's amazing. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
I ring his psychic line once a week. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
He sees dead people. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:53 | 0:02:55 | |
He sees gobshites with credit cards! | 0:02:58 | 0:03:01 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
Hello. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
Is that Saint Mary of the Universe, Home for the Bewildered? | 0:03:06 | 0:03:10 | |
Sorry, Elderly. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
Yes. I'm enquiring about the cost of | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
putting a man in there for two weeks. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Yes, well, I... | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Yes, I'll hold. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:21 | |
DOOR CLOSES | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
Winnie, I'm on hold. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
I'm trying to find somewhere to put the man that God forgot... | 0:03:25 | 0:03:29 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
..when I have me break. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Put the kettle on. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:34 | |
Hello, yes? | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
I was speaking to one of your colleagues... | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:39 | 0:03:40 | |
Yes, concerning the financial... | 0:03:40 | 0:03:43 | |
Yes, I'll hold. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:45 | |
Spend me feckin' day on hold! | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
Hello, yes. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
Well, no, what I was trying to... How long am I on hold? | 0:03:50 | 0:03:54 | |
Well, let me see... | 0:03:54 | 0:03:55 | |
I was ringing about putting somebody into your home. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:58 | |
But actually, I've been so long on hold he's fuckin' dead! | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:00 | 0:04:03 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
That's the fourth home I've called this morning. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
I can't believe the prices they're charging. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
For that kind of money, | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
he can go to Galway, I'll stay in the buckin' home. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:18 | 0:04:19 | |
-Why? How much? -Too much! | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
I'll never get away for this feckin' trip! | 0:04:23 | 0:04:25 | |
Of course you will! Someone will take him for two weeks. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
Not me! | 0:04:32 | 0:04:33 | |
I mean, I would, but Jacko could come out of hospital any day, Agnes. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:37 | |
Of course he could. | 0:04:37 | 0:04:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
I can't believe the price they charge. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
You know, the Heaven's Gate home is cheap. | 0:04:44 | 0:04:47 | |
But that's because they found Legionnaires disease there. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
Did they? | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
Grandad, pack your feckin' bags! | 0:04:51 | 0:04:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:53 | 0:04:55 | |
It's Bonanza Construction! | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
What do you want? | 0:04:58 | 0:04:59 | |
Right, Mrs Brown, it's time to pick your sink and your taps. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
Am I on some kind of budget here? | 0:05:03 | 0:05:04 | |
Doesn't matter what the price says, you pick out whichever one you want. | 0:05:04 | 0:05:08 | |
Oooh. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:10 | |
Oh, I like that one. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:11 | |
No, not that one. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:12 | |
That's a nice one. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
No, they're very unreliable. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:16 | |
An unreliable sink? | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Well, you wouldn't want an unreliable sink. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:20 | |
No, you wouldn't. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:23 | 0:05:26 | |
What about that one? | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
-No. -That one? | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
Nah. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:30 | |
That one? | 0:05:30 | 0:05:32 | |
What about that one? | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
Now, you'd think that one was good, but they suffer from tin worm. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:38 | 0:05:42 | |
Tin worm. | 0:05:42 | 0:05:43 | |
Which one would you recommend? | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
Well, now, it's up to you. Keep looking. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:48 | |
What about this one here? | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
The one with the big red circle round it and the X beside it? | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:55 | 0:05:56 | |
Great choice! | 0:05:56 | 0:05:57 | |
Right, Buffalo Bill, unload the sink. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
You'll like it, Mrs Brown, it's a lovely sink. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
Fine. I'm sure it will be fine. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:06 | |
I'll tell Billy the Kid, the plumber. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
When are you going to start this job? | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
Well, I have Jesse James the spark starting Friday. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:12 | |
And we'll be in to do the wiring first thing on Monday. I'll see ya. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
Jesse James? They're all very peculiar names! | 0:06:15 | 0:06:18 | |
There's a lot of cowboys in this business, Mrs Brown. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:20 | 0:06:21 | |
Yee-ha! | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
I can't believe he did that fuckin' joke! | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:28 | 0:06:30 | |
You know, it's a pity Dr Flynn can't sort something out | 0:06:30 | 0:06:32 | |
for Grandad for a couple of weeks. | 0:06:32 | 0:06:34 | |
Jesus, Winnie, you might have something there. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
I think I need to call me a doctor! | 0:06:38 | 0:06:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
And I've been very tired in the mornings, you know? | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
What with looking after Grandad. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
Patient, Agnes Brown. | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
Age? | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
Fine. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:01 | |
Everybody needs a break, I suppose. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
Especially when you're looking after Grandad. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
-Weight? -145 pounds. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:08 | |
That's cos I'm run down, you know, looking after Grandad. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
175 pounds. | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
Height? | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
5 foot 10. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
5 foot 3. | 0:07:24 | 0:07:27 | |
I do shrink in me sleep, that's cos of the stress. | 0:07:27 | 0:07:30 | |
Grandad. | 0:07:30 | 0:07:31 | |
I need to take your pressure, Mrs Brown. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:33 | |
I knew this was coming. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
You see, what I think... | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
Oh, I'm sorry. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:46 | |
What I could really do with is Grandad going into hospital for | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
a couple of weeks' respite care. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:50 | |
Respite care's only given to the really needy. | 0:07:50 | 0:07:53 | |
I'm really needy. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:54 | |
I'm really needy of a weeky breaky. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:57 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
Your blood pressure's quite high. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
Are you surprised? I was tall and slim before you got here. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:05 | |
Now I'm a fat fuckin' midget! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
I'll give you something to take that down. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
What I really need is a holiday, away from Grandad. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
Mrs Brown, the department would come out and test Grandad. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
They'd see that he doesn't need special care. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
What kind of tests? | 0:08:20 | 0:08:22 | |
Well, they test him for dementia... | 0:08:22 | 0:08:24 | |
Dementia, that's the one! Get them down to test him. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:27 | |
But he's not demented. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
Get them down to test him! | 0:08:29 | 0:08:31 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
Fine, but I'm telling you now, | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
he won't qualify. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:38 | |
You leave that to me, Doctor. | 0:08:38 | 0:08:40 | |
By the time they get here, he'll be as mad as a fuckin' brush. | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
We're here! | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
Hello, boys. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:51 | |
Oh, Mrs Brown, thanks very much for allowing me to stay. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
No problem, Dino. I didn't know you were homeless. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
If I'd known, I would have invited you a lot sooner. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
Aw! | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Dino! | 0:09:01 | 0:09:02 | |
Oh, Rory! | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
Oh, Dino! | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
Oh, Jesus! | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
What the... | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
Good morning, Mrs Brown! | 0:09:26 | 0:09:29 | |
What's all this? | 0:09:29 | 0:09:30 | |
I've prepared a little breakfast for you. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:32 | |
You've a long day ahead, so I thought I'd treat you. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
Breakfast for me? | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
I haven't had breakfast cooked for me...ever! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
Well, today's the day. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
Sit yourself down, now. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
Thank you very much, son. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:47 | |
What's this shit? | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
I mean...what is this? | 0:09:52 | 0:09:53 | |
It's Eggs Florentine. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
A lightly poached egg with creamed spinach | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
and a hollandaise sauce on a grilled crouton. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:01 | |
Toast. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:02 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:02 | 0:10:03 | |
Very good! Toast. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
DINO LAUGHS | 0:10:05 | 0:10:07 | |
Right, I'm off. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:08 | |
Toast! | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
DINO LAUGHS | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
MRS BROWN LAUGHS | 0:10:11 | 0:10:12 | |
Toast! | 0:10:12 | 0:10:14 | |
MRS BROWN LAUGHS | 0:10:14 | 0:10:15 | |
Spinach for fuckin' breakfast? | 0:10:15 | 0:10:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Morning, Mammy. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:20 | |
You just missed Heston Blumenthal. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:22 | 0:10:23 | |
Ah, Mammy, Dino's just trying to be nice. | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
I appreciate that, but this is my kitchen. | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
Let him be feckin' nice somewhere else. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Do you want a cup of tea, love? | 0:10:31 | 0:10:32 | |
With a crouton? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:34 | |
Just tea. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:35 | |
Did you sleep all right, love? | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
Oh, yeah...lovely! | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
Will you tell Dino to stop making that bed? | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
My God, you'd think he never slept in it. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
Morning. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:46 | |
Morning, Mrs McGoogan. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Rory, tell Dino I'll be there on time. Six o'clock. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:52 | |
Er, yeah, right, I'll tell him. I'd better be off. Bye! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:56 | |
What about your feckin' tea? | 0:10:56 | 0:10:58 | |
-Winnie, get yourself tea, will you? -All right. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
I have to get Grandad ready for his test. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
What test? | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
The tester's coming to test him for the home. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
It's like a quiz. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
Oh, I love quizzes. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:10 | |
That's nice. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:11 | 0:11:14 | |
Now, Grandad, when the tester gets here tomorrow | 0:11:14 | 0:11:17 | |
and he asks you a question, what have you to do? | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
Get right answers. | 0:11:20 | 0:11:21 | |
Is correct. And if you get the wrong answers, he'll... | 0:11:21 | 0:11:24 | |
Shoot me? | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:26 | 0:11:27 | |
With a big gun! | 0:11:27 | 0:11:28 | |
Now, I've asked around and the first question they always ask is, | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
"What is the highest mountain in the world?" | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
Everest. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:36 | |
No, it's the Amazon! | 0:11:36 | 0:11:39 | |
The Amazon's a river! | 0:11:39 | 0:11:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
Look how confused you are! | 0:11:44 | 0:11:46 | |
Why don't I ask Winnie? | 0:11:46 | 0:11:48 | |
Winnie, what's the tallest mountain in the world? | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
What you said it was, Agnes. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
That's right! | 0:11:52 | 0:11:53 | |
Now, Grandad, question two - | 0:11:54 | 0:11:58 | |
"What singer is famous for the moonwalk?'" | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
Michael Jackson. | 0:12:01 | 0:12:02 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:02 | 0:12:03 | |
Neil Armstrong! Winnie? | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
Neil Armstrong. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:08 | |
Neil Armstrong. | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
Oh, right answer! | 0:12:11 | 0:12:13 | |
There you go. Yum, yum, yum. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:14 | |
And the prize? | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
A week in Galway for me! | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:12:22 | 0:12:25 | |
Here we go, Mrs Brown. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:31 | |
A cider for you and a gin and tonic for Mrs McGoogan. | 0:12:31 | 0:12:34 | |
Winnie, where is she? | 0:12:34 | 0:12:35 | |
She's on her way. Oh, she was a fantastic model. | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
Model? What do you mean, model? | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
In the hairdressing competition. Winnie was my model. | 0:12:40 | 0:12:44 | |
It's a pity Rory wasn't in it. I could have been his model. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
Oh, he was, Mrs Brown. And he did have a model. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:52 | 0:12:54 | |
Jesus, I hope Winnie doesn't end up looking like a feckin' badger. | 0:12:57 | 0:13:01 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
Winnie's after finding a fuckin' nest! | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
So, where did you park your motorbike? | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
It looks like you've combed it up from under your arms. | 0:13:15 | 0:13:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:17 | 0:13:18 | |
Agnes, darling. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Well, what do you think? | 0:13:21 | 0:13:24 | |
I've seen better hairstyles on an elephant's testicles. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:13:28 | 0:13:30 | |
How are ya, Mammy? | 0:13:30 | 0:13:31 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh! | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
So, who won your competition? | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
Rory did! | 0:13:36 | 0:13:38 | |
Congratulations. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:39 | |
Yes, we did. Though we weren't up against much. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:42 | |
AUDIENCE: Oooh. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:44 | |
I'll just go and get us a drink, Dino. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
I would have been a good model! | 0:13:49 | 0:13:52 | |
Well, Rory said you didn't qualify. | 0:13:52 | 0:13:53 | |
What do you mean, I didn't qualify? | 0:13:53 | 0:13:56 | |
Well, you probably have to have a thick growth like mine. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
No, the category was Hairstyles for Seniors. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:03 | |
AUDIENCE: Ooh! | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
Was it, now? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
I love you, son. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
-Oh, thank God. And, Mammy... -Yes, love. | 0:14:20 | 0:14:23 | |
Remember I said I was going to do something special for you? | 0:14:23 | 0:14:25 | |
Oh, now, you don't... Well, yes, you did. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
Well, Cathy's at home waiting and so's your surprise! | 0:14:28 | 0:14:32 | |
Well, what are we doing here? Come on, let's get home! | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
They're on their way. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
I've never taken part in one of these before, Mr Gennochi. | 0:14:40 | 0:14:43 | |
Cathy, you'll be fine. You'll be fine. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:46 | |
I wonder how Mammy's going to take it. | 0:14:46 | 0:14:48 | |
There is nothing frightening about the spirit world, nothing! | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
It's not the spirit world I'm worried about! | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
I can't wait for this feckin' surprise! | 0:14:55 | 0:14:58 | |
Shit, we've been robbed! | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:01 | 0:15:02 | |
No, Mammy! Remember the psychic I told you about? | 0:15:02 | 0:15:06 | |
Psychic, my arse! Con man, you mean? | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
Mammy, he's not a con man. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
He's a con man, or a charlatan or a feckin' nutcase! | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
And he's...he's in my fuckin' sitting room! | 0:15:13 | 0:15:15 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
Did he hear me? | 0:15:19 | 0:15:20 | |
We all heard ya! | 0:15:20 | 0:15:22 | |
Why didn't you fuckin' tell me? | 0:15:22 | 0:15:23 | |
Oh! | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:28 | 0:15:29 | |
Aargh, aargh! | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
Hello, how do you do? | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
Mrs Brown, I don't know how much Rory has told you. | 0:15:40 | 0:15:42 | |
Do you not? And you're supposed to be a psychic! | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
Well, he asked me to come here tonight to try | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
and contact your late husband, Redser. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
Not going to happen, love. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:52 | |
Mumbo jumbo, the whole feckin' lot of it, mumbo jumbo! | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
That is a shame, Mrs Brown, | 0:15:55 | 0:15:56 | |
because you're much admired in the spirit world. | 0:15:56 | 0:15:59 | |
Much loved as a mother, but I won't waste your time. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
Well, I mean, seeing as how you're here, | 0:16:03 | 0:16:06 | |
we could always have a short go. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:09 | |
Are you sure? | 0:16:09 | 0:16:10 | |
Well, I don't want to disappoint my fans in the spirit world. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
Let me dim the lights. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
MRS BROWN LAUGHS | 0:16:19 | 0:16:20 | |
It's not the London Palladium, love. On or off, take your fuckin' pick. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:24 | 0:16:25 | |
-Off. -Rory, get the lights. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:29 | |
Rory, come to the light. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:36 | 0:16:39 | |
Sorry. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:43 | |
Now, can we all... Please, can we all just hold hands? | 0:16:43 | 0:16:48 | |
Who's that beside me? | 0:16:51 | 0:16:53 | |
It's me, Agnes. | 0:16:53 | 0:16:54 | |
Agnes, that's not my hand you're holding. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:58 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:58 | 0:17:01 | |
Now, I want us all to close our eyes | 0:17:07 | 0:17:11 | |
and concentrate on those who are no longer with us. | 0:17:11 | 0:17:15 | |
Close your eyes! | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
You close your eyes! | 0:17:22 | 0:17:23 | |
I'll close my eyes when you close yours. Now, close your eyes! | 0:17:23 | 0:17:26 | |
What are you now, the eye inspector? | 0:17:26 | 0:17:28 | |
Close your buckin'... | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
Aargh! | 0:17:30 | 0:17:31 | |
-What the... -Is he all right? | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Never mind him, I just wet me knickers! | 0:17:38 | 0:17:40 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:40 | 0:17:42 | |
I sense... I sense a presence in this house. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
Somebody who refuses to pass over to the spirit world. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:51 | |
That's you, Grandad! | 0:17:51 | 0:17:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:52 | 0:17:54 | |
-Mammy! -Sorry. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
Speak to us. Is there anyone out there? | 0:17:56 | 0:17:59 | |
Speak to us! | 0:17:59 | 0:18:00 | |
SOMEONE BREAKS WIND | 0:18:00 | 0:18:02 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
That was definitely you, Grandad! | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
Agnes, it's me! | 0:18:08 | 0:18:11 | |
It's your husband, Redser. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:14 | |
I don't believe it! | 0:18:14 | 0:18:16 | |
Even in the spirit world, he's pissed! | 0:18:16 | 0:18:18 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Mammy, don't give him such a hard time! | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
Agnes, do you miss me? | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
Mammy! | 0:18:28 | 0:18:29 | |
I'm fuckin' thinking. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:30 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:30 | 0:18:33 | |
I'm off, so... | 0:18:33 | 0:18:34 | |
No, Daddy, don't go. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
Who's that? Who's that? | 0:18:37 | 0:18:38 | |
It's your daughter, Cathy. And Rory's here, as well. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
Hiya, Daddy! | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
Ah, Rory! | 0:18:44 | 0:18:45 | |
Have you found yourself a nice little wife? | 0:18:45 | 0:18:48 | |
What? | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
Boyfriend, and his name is Dino. | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
Ah, good for you, Cathy, and give my love to the rest of the family. | 0:18:54 | 0:18:58 | |
Give it to Mark and Trevor and Dermot and Liam... | 0:18:58 | 0:19:02 | |
Who the fuck is Liam? | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:04 | 0:19:05 | |
I'd better go now, but I'll see you soon, Agnes. | 0:19:05 | 0:19:09 | |
Yeah, right, goodbye... Wait! | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
What do you mean soon? How soon? | 0:19:11 | 0:19:13 | |
Agnes, they're telling me up here | 0:19:13 | 0:19:15 | |
that I'll be reunited with my loved one | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
tomorrow night at 11 o'clock. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:22 | |
Tell me this is some kind of feckin' joke! | 0:19:23 | 0:19:26 | |
I gotta go! | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
I think he's fuckin' gone! | 0:19:31 | 0:19:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:32 | 0:19:34 | |
Redser, Redser! Redser! | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
Cathy, get the light. Red... | 0:19:37 | 0:19:39 | |
Hello? | 0:19:39 | 0:19:40 | |
He fuckin' hung up. | 0:19:40 | 0:19:42 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:42 | 0:19:44 | |
Did you hear that, Rory? Did you hear that? | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
It's terrible! He thought Cathy was married to Dino! | 0:19:48 | 0:19:51 | |
Not that! | 0:19:51 | 0:19:52 | |
Oh, yeah, right. | 0:19:52 | 0:19:54 | |
But, Mammy, I thought you didn't believe in any of that stuff. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
You're right, I don't. I don't believe in that crap! | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
Of course not, Mrs Brown. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:00 | |
I mean, nobody actually believes you're going to die at 11 o'clock tomorrow night. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:04 | |
DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
CLOCK TICKS | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
OK, folks, 2/1 she croaks. 2/1! | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
2/1, they're good odds. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
Free crabs, get your free crabs! Free... | 0:20:21 | 0:20:24 | |
PEOPLE GASP | 0:20:28 | 0:20:30 | |
I tripped. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:32 | 0:20:34 | |
If what Jimmy Gennochi says is true, | 0:20:38 | 0:20:41 | |
I'm going to die in five minutes. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:45 | |
No, you're not. | 0:20:45 | 0:20:47 | |
That clock is fast. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:50 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
It's 20 minutes. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
Oh, no, wait... Me watch has stopped. | 0:20:54 | 0:20:57 | |
It is five minutes. | 0:20:57 | 0:20:59 | |
Four and a quarter. | 0:21:02 | 0:21:04 | |
Winnie, spare me the fuckin' countdown. | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:06 | 0:21:07 | |
Probably not going to die at all, Agnes. | 0:21:07 | 0:21:09 | |
I'm not going to die. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:11 | |
I mean, you're not that old. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:13 | |
I'm not that old. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:14 | |
-You seem in good shape. -I'm in great shape. | 0:21:14 | 0:21:16 | |
-And Foley's is a safe place to be. -It is a safe place to... | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
GLASS SHATTERS | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
Sorry! | 0:21:21 | 0:21:23 | |
You know, I know I'm not going to die. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:26 | |
Cos if I was going to die, my whole family would be here tonight. | 0:21:26 | 0:21:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:29 | 0:21:31 | |
Exactly. How could you possibly die? | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
Yeah. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
Unless from a heart attack or a stroke, or a brain haemorrhage, | 0:21:35 | 0:21:38 | |
which is basically a stroke. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
Winnie! | 0:21:40 | 0:21:41 | |
Sorry! | 0:21:41 | 0:21:42 | |
I'm just making the point that we never know | 0:21:42 | 0:21:45 | |
when death is going to tap us on the shoulder. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:48 | |
Or maybe this whole thing is a big feckin' mistake? | 0:21:48 | 0:21:50 | |
Aargh! | 0:21:50 | 0:21:51 | |
Is she gone? | 0:21:52 | 0:21:53 | |
-ALL: -No! | 0:21:53 | 0:21:55 | |
Can I have a word with you, Mrs Brown? | 0:21:55 | 0:21:57 | |
Make it a quick one, son. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:59 | 0:22:01 | |
Winnie, get me a pint. | 0:22:01 | 0:22:02 | |
Well, I'll get you half a pint, Agnes. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:06 | |
Pint it is. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:09 | |
-I just want to thank you for letting me stay. -Fine. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:13 | |
-And being so understanding! -Yeah, whatever. | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
And, Dino, you don't have to make that bed every day, really. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:20 | |
It looks like you haven't even slept in it. | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
I haven't. | 0:22:23 | 0:22:24 | |
What do you mean? Where do you sleep? | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
In Rory's bed. | 0:22:26 | 0:22:27 | |
And where does Rory sleep? | 0:22:27 | 0:22:28 | |
In Rory's bed. We sleep together. | 0:22:30 | 0:22:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:34 | 0:22:35 | |
Aargh! | 0:22:35 | 0:22:36 | |
PEOPLE GASP | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
I'm fine. | 0:22:38 | 0:22:39 | |
-ALL: -Oh, for fuck's sake! | 0:22:39 | 0:22:41 | |
It's just a shock, I'm fine. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:43 | |
Where's the body? | 0:22:44 | 0:22:45 | |
Too early! | 0:22:45 | 0:22:47 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:47 | 0:22:49 | |
CLOCK CHIMES | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
Please don't take me yet, Lord. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:01 | |
I know this is the time | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
when Redser is to be reunited with his loved one. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
Aargh! | 0:23:07 | 0:23:08 | |
His loved one! The bastard! | 0:23:09 | 0:23:13 | |
Aargh! | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
The double bastard! | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
Aargh! | 0:23:18 | 0:23:19 | |
The triple bastard! | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
Aargh! | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:23:24 | 0:23:25 | |
Well, that explains Rory! | 0:23:25 | 0:23:27 | |
Crabs? | 0:23:30 | 0:23:31 | |
Yes. | 0:23:31 | 0:23:33 | |
Apparently Mr Foley gave away the crabs that he didn't sell | 0:23:33 | 0:23:35 | |
during the crab festival. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
Seven cases of food poisoning. Pretty bad, too. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:40 | |
I'm just glad I'm alive. | 0:23:40 | 0:23:42 | |
Come on, let's go and see Grandad's health inspector. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:45 | |
Be gentle with him, he tends to get confused. | 0:23:48 | 0:23:51 | |
-I'll leave you, Doctor. -Thank you, Doctor. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
-Thank you, Doctor. -Goodbye, Doctor. | 0:23:53 | 0:23:55 | |
-Goodbye, Doctor. -Goodbye, Doctor. | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
It's like buckin' Holby City in here. | 0:23:58 | 0:24:00 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:00 | 0:24:02 | |
You need not be anxious, Grandad. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:03 | |
Nobody's going to make you uncomfortable. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
I'm glad to hear that, cos he's been a bit jumpy lately. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
Aargh! Alien! It's an alien! | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
Grandad, do you know who that is behind me? | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
Frankenstein. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:27 | |
You know, this might be better if I spoke to Grandad without you here. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:33 | |
I'll be upstairs. I have his bag ready, just in case. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:37 | |
Alien! Alien! | 0:24:40 | 0:24:42 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:42 | 0:24:44 | |
Now, Grandad, I just want you to relax, | 0:24:46 | 0:24:50 | |
while I ask you some questions. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:52 | |
Don't shoot me! | 0:24:52 | 0:24:53 | |
What is the highest mountain in the world? | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
I know this one. | 0:24:57 | 0:24:59 | |
The Amazon. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
Everest. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:04 | |
No, it's the Amazon. | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
Grandad, the head of the British Royal Family is Queen...? | 0:25:08 | 0:25:13 | |
Jemima! | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
Sorry, don't mind me. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:18 | |
Actually, why don't you sit down and join us? | 0:25:18 | 0:25:22 | |
Oh, thank you. | 0:25:22 | 0:25:23 | |
Now, Grandad, who is the black singer | 0:25:25 | 0:25:28 | |
famous for the moonwalk? | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
Jackson. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:31 | |
Neil Armstrong. | 0:25:31 | 0:25:32 | |
Question four... | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
Question 20. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
In the Bible, what was the name of Joseph the carpenter's | 0:25:47 | 0:25:52 | |
very famous, mystical son? | 0:25:52 | 0:25:55 | |
A carpenter, you say? | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
Mystical son's name. | 0:26:00 | 0:26:02 | |
I have it. Pinocchio! | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
DOOR CLOSES | 0:26:14 | 0:26:15 | |
MRS BROWN LAUGHS | 0:26:15 | 0:26:17 | |
That's him gone for a couple of weeks! | 0:26:18 | 0:26:20 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
What the fuck are you doing here? | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
And where's Winnie? I thought I heard Winnie down here. | 0:26:25 | 0:26:28 | |
Where did you get all that money? | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
I had a tenner on you to live. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:33 | |
Each way! | 0:26:37 | 0:26:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:38 | 0:26:41 | |
Do you know, I learn something new every day. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
For instance, you should never judge anything, never mind a book, | 0:26:47 | 0:26:51 | |
by its cover. | 0:26:51 | 0:26:54 | |
I thought that psychic was the real thing. | 0:26:54 | 0:26:56 | |
But he's not, I'm alive! | 0:26:56 | 0:26:59 | |
And I thought Rory was cheating on me with Hillary | 0:26:59 | 0:27:02 | |
and he wasn't. | 0:27:02 | 0:27:04 | |
And the health tester thought Winnie was off her rocker | 0:27:05 | 0:27:08 | |
and she's not... Well, not much. | 0:27:08 | 0:27:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:27:10 | 0:27:12 | |
And gambling is a mug's game. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:14 | |
Right, I'm off for me week to the Galway Races! | 0:27:15 | 0:27:19 | |
Are you coming or what? | 0:27:20 | 0:27:22 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:27:26 | 0:27:28 | |
Good night! | 0:27:30 | 0:27:32 | |
# Say hello to the queen of Dublin town | 0:27:32 | 0:27:36 | |
# As the best mum of all She wears the crown | 0:27:37 | 0:27:42 | |
# Mother hen watching all her chicks | 0:27:44 | 0:27:47 | |
# Sassy old lady, full of tricks | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
# It's a safe bet she'd never let life get her down | 0:27:50 | 0:27:55 | |
-# She's Mrs Brown -Agnes | 0:27:56 | 0:27:59 | |
-# That's Mrs Brown -Agnes | 0:27:59 | 0:28:01 | |
# Our Mrs Brown. # | 0:28:01 | 0:28:03 |
