Episode 11 Never Mind the Buzzcocks


Episode 11

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Transcript


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello, and welcome to the show.

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I'm Robert Webb. As we all know, I'm the cool one from Mitchell and Webb,

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because I've been to five more gigs than David.

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Yep. I've been to six.

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On Noel's team...

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# I see you driving round town with the girl I love... #

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He released the song F You, but changed it to Forget You

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so it could be played on the radio. If he thinks he can peddle that kind of filth here,

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he can forget right off.

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It's top pop mother-forgetter Cee Lo Green.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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He's the popular presenter of Springwatch, but that's no use to us

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so for the purposes of this show, he fiddles with animals.

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It's nature's top animal sodomiser, Chris Packham.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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On Phill's team tonight...

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# Two lives, living two lives... #

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He's been rapping for 16 years, writes his own songs,

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and has achieved wide critical acclaim.

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That's why he'll be outsold

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by Cher Lloyd singing Chim-Chiminey Chim-Chiminey Chim-Chim-Cher-ee. It's Example.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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And a woman who, I'm told, absolutely killed it

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on Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow.

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If only she'd killed him rather than it.

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It's Andi Osho.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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So, we begin with What Have We pixellated?

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Noel, Cee Lo and Chris, have a look at this.

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# Stop calling, stop calling I don't want to... #

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She likes the feel of animal flesh against her skin.

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Put your cock away, Packham, it was only a dress.

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It's barmier-than-a-barm-cake pop gentry Lady Gaga.

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# Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh

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# Stop telephoning me-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh... #

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That was Lady Gaga with Telephone, but what have we pixellated?

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I love the fact that in that video, someone answers a baguette.

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When a baguette's ringing... then what are you going to do?

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If you leave it, it'll just go stale, so you've got to

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pick it up, keep it fresh, keep talking to the baguette.

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Now Noel has actually said that, within the month

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Apple will bring out the iLoaf.

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Good. Good iPun work there.

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Apparently, you get quite bad signal droppage if you put cheese and pickle on it.

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Chris is getting so close.

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You can tell he's an animal watcher.

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Chris, you are a leading expert on zoology

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and you've been broadcasting wildlife programmes

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for about 20 years and you've been all over the world

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examining natural history. What, in your opinion,

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is the most interesting animal you've ever slept with?

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-It's difficult.

-It's difficult, yes.

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There's quite a few to choose from. It's not...

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In a metaphorical sense, you know.

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I hesitate to ask... Please continue.

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Yeah, it was a tapir.

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In front of Michaela Strachan, who did nothing to help.

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Except film it.

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She photographed it, yeah.

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Are tapirs like half horse, half zebra? What are they?

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About that long, actually.

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-Is this an unhappy memory or are you absolutely fine?

-Was it full penetration?

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It wasn't penetrative, but it did climax.

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-The thing is...

-What do you tell the guy at the dry-cleaning that is?

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"Oh, that's the usual tapir... ahem, stain."

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That's insane.

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Yeah, it was a tame tapir that had been hand-reared, and hand-reared...

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Very lovingly.

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I didn't hand-rear it, obviously.

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Cos otherwise it'd just be revenge it's getting on you.

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And what we call imprinted animals,

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often, if they're reared from a very young age,

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confuse humans with their parents, basically,

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so it saw me as a female tapir, which is slightly disconcerting.

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-Well...

-And they have a very long tongue,

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and what happened was, the tapir came out

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and I was playing with its tongue...

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Now, yeah... I hate to use the phrase "you were asking for it"...

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I led it on. I led it on a bit.

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OK.

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They've got very long tongues, which they use

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for wrapping around their foliage,

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-bit like a giraffe...

-I don't know, I've never done it with a giraffe either.

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I think, you know, one of the great privileges of my job

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is that you can be very tactile with animals. You can...

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NOEL LAUGHS

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Legally. Stop it.

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So, once you've experienced this, at the end of the day,

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would you rather it had been the tapir assault you were subjected to

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or meerkat gangbang.

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Yeah, a meerkat... I'd take the tapir, actually.

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Size is important.

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Cee Lo, are you regretting your decision to come here tonight?

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Were you under the impression this was some kind of quiz?

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Yes, yes, I was. We're on teams, I'm going to support him.

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-I feel I should move us on. Now, Cee Lo, your new album is called Lady Killer.

-Yes.

-I just want to

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dive straight in here and say I take a very dim view of killing ladies

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and if you even start to think about killing a lady,

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I'm going to become quite vexed. I'm an easy-going guy.

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I'm adamant on this point.

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Don't kill any of the ladies.

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-Yes.

-You promise?

-I promise.

-OK. Good lad.

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Now, then, OK, so...

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As if Cee Lo's going to kill a lady! He's wearing velour.

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So, Lady Gaga, pixellation - thoughts?

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All I can think about is you getting rogered by a tapir now.

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And Michaela Strachan, I used to fancy her when I was at school.

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-I did too. She was quite fit.

-Yeah, she was, wasn't she?

-For a bit.

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Well, who's a charmer?

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It was a dream team, actually,

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-because you had Nutkins as well, didn't you?

-Yeah.

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I got his autograph when I was a little kid.

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I went, "Mum, there's Terry off the telly!" and she went,

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"Don't bother him. He's chatting to some grown-ups."

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What was weird was I went up to him, and I was really young.

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I was, I don't know, seven, and he was signing something for me,

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but I was a bit nervous, and you know he got his finger bitten off

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-by a...

-Otter.

-An otter?

-Yeah.

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-It's tough work...

-That must have taken ages for an otter!

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My mum nudged me and went, "Don't stare at Terry's missing finger!"

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Really loud, though, so he could hear. It was embarrassing.

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"We're sorry, Terry. He's staring at your missing finger."

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You can't stare AT a missing finger. It's not there.

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-So...

-Gaga, Lady, pixellation, thoughts.

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-Lady Gaga...

-There's something in her hand, or she's holding

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something onto her head or it's a sort of '30s hat.

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I read somewhere that she was so afraid of getting a brain tumour,

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she would have someone from her entourage

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-hold the phone like this for her...

-Really?

-She's scared

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of getting brain tumours. What a weird thing to be scared of.

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I'm more scared of otters, to be honest.

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-Tapirs.

-I'm now more scared of tapirs.

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Well, I don't know what it could be, really.

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What do you think? It could be Terry Nutkins.

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Finger. Terry Nutkins' missing finger.

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-Hair made of Terry Nutkins finger!

-Terry Nutkins' missing finger.

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Shall we see if it's Terry Nutkins' missing finger?

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# Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh

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# Stop telephoning me-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh... #

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It is, in fact, we pixellated Diet Coke cans in her hair.

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Earlier this year, Lee Ryan said he'd love to work with Lady Gaga.

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Well, Lee, if she orders a carpet in the Thames Valley region

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and has it fitted on Tuesday or Thursday,

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that may just happen.

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Phill, Example and Andi, have a look at this.

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# Might be paranoid... #

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If there are any Disney lawyers watching -

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quick! Turn over to ITV now.

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They're showing Donald Duck bumming Mickey Mouse.

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It's sweet mediocrity-mongers, the Jonas Brothers.

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# Paranoid...

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# Yeah... #

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That was the Jonas Brothers with Paranoid,

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but what have we pixel-ar-tard?

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The Jonas Brothers, who have not had sex.

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-I believe so.

-So they're all still virgins? All...

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-How many of them? Three of them?

-Well, one of them got married,

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-so I think he's allowed by his own code.

-Wow.

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He probably shot his wife off like some kind of wife bazooka.

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Probably! She would have been, like, slammed against the back wall.

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-"Damn!"

-You two are in a whole kind of comedy slapstick porn film.

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And then it goes "boing!" and she goes "blook!"

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"Dawhhrrr!"

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There's just not enough amusing sound effects in porn.

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-If once in a while, you got a...

-HE SQUEAKS

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HE HONKS

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-Or just at the end...

-SHE QUACKS A JAUNTY TUNE

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Something like that.

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A tapir just came into shot.

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I don't understand the appeal of young men that won't have sex

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to teenage girls, because surely, the teenage girls that...

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Cos they're perfectly good at turning down men that are dying to have sex,

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in my experience, so...yeah.

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It was a long adolescence.

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Do they have kittens? Like every time somebody has sex before marriage, a kitten dies?

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I hope that's not true.

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-Chris is not happy about that!

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You can't just say stuff like that.

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Chris got bitten by a vulture

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but the brilliant thing was that it took so much of your hand...

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It took a chunk and then swallowed it.

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-It ate it.

-But you did an impression.

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They swallow by flicking it up like that and swallowing down.

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When I started doing stand-up, I used to do an impression of a turtle eating a liquorice boot lace.

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And when I saw you do that, I thought, "Yeah, I was scientifically correct!"

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You like vultures but can I ask you about your attitude to pandas?

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I believe you said we should abandon pandas because "they are an evolutionary cul-de-sac

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"and I reckon we should pull the plug."

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Look at that. Is there any chance you were rejected by a panda?

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Shall we sexy him up a bit? What about this panda?

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Is that doing it for you? You don't mind saving THAT panda?

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The thing is, they cost an inordinate amount of money to keep going.

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-And conservation...

-How expensive is bamboo?

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All they do is eat bamboo, stupid idiots.

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-Yeah, but they're carnivores.

-They eat meat?

-They should but they've taken to eating bamboo

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Their gut's not adapted to that. It's another evolutionary mistake.

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Absolute wankers.

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Example,

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welcome to the show.

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-May I call you Eg?

-Yes, very clever. Very good.

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It is very clever, because it's your joke, which I was trying to steal, which nobody laughed at,

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-so who's laughing at whom, we don't know.

-It's not a joke, it's my initials.

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-My initials are Eg and...you know, Example.

-That's how that all works.

-Better than your name.

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I'm delighted that I brought it up.

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I've never seen anyone look more bemused. You're like...

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Do we have any ideas of what is pixellated here?

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I think it's George Alagiah and Martyn Lewis.

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Let's see if you're right.

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So...that was probably the wrong answer.

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We pixellated two Mexican wrestlers, their faces clad in leather and bundled into a car.

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That's how Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles leave the Daybreak studio every day.

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Next up is the intros round. Noel and Cee Lo, here are yours for Chris.

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Ah, dear.

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You've got a bit of a panda vibe going on.

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Earlier on you said you actually learnt to sing from listening to things around the house.

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Just imitating other artists that I like, yeah.

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Pretty cool. I thought you meant the kettle and the toaster.

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That's not as interesting a fact.

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I pictured you as a little boy going, "Ooooooooooo!"

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Right.

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Two, three, four...

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# Bum, bum, ba do do do do

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# Do do do da do do do

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# Do do do da do do do

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# Do do do da do do do

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# Oooooo-ooooooo-oooooo

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# Oooooo-ooooooo-oooooo

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# Ba do do do do, boo boo, boo

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-# Boop-boooo-doo-doo

-# Ba do do do do, boo boo, boo

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-# Boop-boooo-doo-dooo

-# Ba do do do do, boo boo, boo

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-# Boop-poooo-dooo

-# Ba do do do do, boo boo, boo

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-# Boop-poooo-dooo

-# Ba do do do do, boo boo, boo

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-# Bzzzzzzzzz. #

-You look like you're trying so hard.

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APPLAUSE

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I've watched the programme and I never get these but that was Close To Me by the Cure.

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It was indeed. Here's how it should have sounded.

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MUSIC: "Close To You" by The Cure

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Next intro, please.

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Robert Smith got me laid when I was young.

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Not...He didn't come round my house.

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-I'm going to try and do my best for you again.

-All right.

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# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing

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# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing

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-# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing

-# Ba-ba-ba-baaa

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-# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing

-# Ba-ba-ba-baaa

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-# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing

-# Ba-ba-ba-baaa

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-# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing #

-# Ba-ba-ba-baaa

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-# Jing jing jing Ja-jing jing ja-jing jing...

-Come on, Chris, you got it?

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He's singing the words!

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APPLAUSE

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Noel's sounding a bit Dusty Springfield.

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To be honest, I'd focus on HIM.

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-I'm going to throw it over. Any ideas?

-I'm clueless on this one.

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Guys?

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It sounds like # Da da dum, da-dum dum...

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Yes, that's what they were doing.

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If you can do that in words...

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-I don't know if you've interpreted it as a lounge song.

-Do you know?

-Yes, it's Girl From Ipanema.

-It is.

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And here's how it should have sounded.

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# "Girl From Ipanema" by Frank Sinatra

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# Tall and tan and young and lovely...#

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That was Girl From Ipanema by Frank Sinatra.

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Interestingly, Sinatra didn't serve in WWII on account of a perforated eardrum.

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Instead he stayed at home and protected his ear

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by performing in front of a 72-piece band every night.

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Despite his limited musical ability, he furthered his career

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by getting into bed with one of the most ruthless, brutal godfathers...

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Hang on, that's not Sinatra, that's Sinitta.

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We also heard the Cure with Close To Me.

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Robert Smith has said that Duran Duran were everything he hated about the 1980s.

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So with the miners' strike, AIDS, the Falklands, Zeebrugge and Chernobyl,

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it was Wild Boys that was the problem.

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Phill and Example, here are yours for Andi.

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-Here we go.

-Yep.

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OK.

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It goes Bum-pa-dum pa-da-dabu-da-da-da-da-ta

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Bum-pa-dum pa-da-dabu-da-da-da-da

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DUM-pa-dum pa-da-dabu-da-da-dum

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DUM-pa-dum pa-da-dabu-da-da-da-dum

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# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

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# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da

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# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dowwww

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# Da-dow-dowww...

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What he's doing sounds like Amy Winehouse, but it isn't, is it?

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-Yeah, it sounds a bit like that.

-It sounds like that but it isn't, that's why I'm saying it.

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No, it isn't. No.

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-Would you...

-OK, there's going to be a lot more things it isn't. Let's crack through them.

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-Is it Adam Ant? Am I allowed to ask that?

-You're not a million miles off the era

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but it's not Adam Ant. I might throw it over.

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I'm throwing it over. It's thrown over.

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I Want Candy, Bow Wow Wow.

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Correct, sir!

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Here's how it should have sounded.

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MUSIC: "I Want Candy" by Bow Wow Wow

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Mega and spiffing. Next intro, please.

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# Dun-da-da-da-da-da-da Dun-da-da-da da-da-da

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-# Dun-da-da-da-da-da-da Dun-da-da-da da-da-da

-# Uh-ts uh-ts uh-ts uh-ts uh-ts

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-# Dun-da-da-da-da-da-da Dun-da-da-da da-da-da

-# Uh-ts uh-ts uh-ts uh-ts uh-ts

0:17:580:18:02

Is it a Eurovision song?

0:18:020:18:04

Oooh!

0:18:040:18:06

# Ooh-ah just a little bit... #

0:18:060:18:07

-That's it.

-# Ooh-ah. # I don't have to sing it. It's Gina G, isn't it?

-It is.

0:18:070:18:12

Here's how it should have sounded.

0:18:130:18:16

MUSIC: "Ooh... Ahh (Just A Little Bit)" by Gina G.

0:18:160:18:20

The boy here remembers things.

0:18:200:18:22

Not now! Not now, I'm in the zone!

0:18:340:18:36

So that was Gina G with Ooh... Ahh - brackets - (Just A Little Bit).

0:18:380:18:43

Gina G claims she was robbed of the Eurovision title in 1996.

0:18:440:18:47

To be fair, she was just pipped to the post by seven other countries,

0:18:470:18:51

including a Lithuanian transsexual singing Pee-Pee Poo-poo Disco Disco Baby Baby Sexy Hotpants.

0:18:510:18:56

Her records may not have sold well, but she earns a fortune from royalties.

0:18:580:19:02

Every time Eamonn Holmes is asked if he wants some cake,

0:19:020:19:05

"Ooh, ahh, just a little bit, ooh, ahh, a little bit more."

0:19:050:19:08

We also heard Bow Wow Wow with I Want Candy.

0:19:140:19:17

Bow Wow Wow achieved infamy when they featured

0:19:170:19:19

their underage lead singer topless on their album cover.

0:19:190:19:23

Unfortunately, BBC rules say we can't show records with a pair of tits on.

0:19:230:19:27

So you'll have to make do with this.

0:19:270:19:29

Round Three is the Identity Parade.

0:19:350:19:38

Noel, Cee Lo and Chris, how about some '70s 2 Tone ska?

0:19:380:19:42

For the audience only, here is The Selecter.

0:19:420:19:45

# It's just the same old show

0:19:450:19:47

# On my radio

0:19:470:19:49

# It's just the same old show

0:19:490:19:50

# On my radio

0:19:500:19:51

# It's just the same old show

0:19:510:19:53

# On my radio

0:19:530:19:54

# It's just the same old show

0:19:540:19:56

# On my radio, on my radio

0:19:560:19:59

# On my radio, on my radio... #

0:19:590:20:01

That was The Selecter with On My Radio.

0:20:020:20:05

But which of our line-up is singer Pauline Black?

0:20:050:20:08

Is it number one, On My Radio?

0:20:080:20:10

Number two, on my 'ead, son?

0:20:100:20:12

Number three, on a promise?

0:20:140:20:16

Number four, on Dave in six months' time?

0:20:170:20:20

Or number five, clearly on ketamine?

0:20:200:20:23

Do you think you've got any ideas?

0:20:280:20:30

I remember Pauline Black being very petite.

0:20:300:20:33

I thought I remembered her being really short and...

0:20:330:20:36

-And tiny.

-Yeah.

-Are you sure that wasn't a red squirrel?

0:20:360:20:39

Would number two just tip the brim back a bit?

0:20:420:20:45

Are we allowed to adjust the hat?

0:20:450:20:48

Maybe lean your head back a little bit...

0:20:480:20:51

-Get some scissors and cut the brim off a bit!

-Maybe...

0:20:510:20:54

Maybe scurry up a tree?

0:20:540:20:56

You did a thing on... was it Springwatch?

0:20:570:21:00

Where you were dropping song titles when you were talking about animals.

0:21:000:21:04

-Was I imagining that?

-No.

0:21:040:21:06

-Did you really do it?

-I dropped Smiths song titles, then The Cure,

0:21:060:21:09

and then The Jesus And Mary Chain. The triumph was Killing An Arab...

0:21:090:21:14

-That's... How did you manage that?

-Well, I got Kate

0:21:150:21:18

to end with the word "killing" at the end of one sentence,

0:21:180:21:22

and I began the next sentence with "An Arab stallion." That...

0:21:220:21:26

-NOEL:

-Amazing!

0:21:260:21:28

-Yeah!

-Ingenious.

0:21:290:21:31

What do you think, Cee Lo?

0:21:350:21:36

Who's got star quality?

0:21:360:21:38

-It's number two.

-Do you think so?

-Number two, do you think?

0:21:380:21:41

-I think so.

-I think it's number three.

0:21:410:21:44

Number three?!

0:21:440:21:45

-I wish I had my bins!

-You do need your...

0:21:470:21:49

I need my binoculars.

0:21:490:21:51

I didn't think Buzzcocks was a binoculars type of show.

0:21:510:21:55

What do we do in this situation?

0:21:550:21:57

-You're the captain.

-You'll have to...

-Yeah, you'll have to...you know.

0:21:570:22:01

-Have I got to pull rank?

-Yeah.

0:22:010:22:04

Whatever happens, it's going to go badly for you, isn't it?

0:22:040:22:07

I know. I don't want to lose...

0:22:070:22:10

You've got a velour panda versus a tapir.

0:22:100:22:12

That's a hell of an evening.

0:22:150:22:18

-Do you know it's two?

-I think so.

0:22:180:22:21

-So my heart tells me!

-THEY LAUGH

0:22:210:22:24

OK. I'll go with you. But if you get it wrong,

0:22:260:22:30

-I will have to take away your bamboo.

-OK.

0:22:300:22:33

Let's find out. Would the real Pauline Black please step forward?

0:22:340:22:39

APPLAUSE

0:22:390:22:42

Good work!

0:22:420:22:44

Still touring with The Selecter and with her memoirs out now, Pauline Black, ladies and gentlemen!

0:22:440:22:50

Phill, Example and Andi, what about some '70s punk rock?

0:22:540:22:59

For the audience only, here are Angelic Upstarts.

0:22:590:23:02

# Open the cage, let free the animals

0:23:020:23:05

# Running wild with hardened criminals

0:23:050:23:08

# No satisfaction, it's all frustrations

0:23:080:23:11

# The times are changing when you're...

0:23:110:23:14

# 13, 14 A teenage warning

0:23:140:23:16

# 15, 16 But nobody's listening

0:23:160:23:19

# 17, 18 Who takes the blame?

0:23:190:23:22

# 19, 20 The 20th century... #

0:23:220:23:26

That was Angelic Upstarts with Teenage Warning.

0:23:260:23:30

But which of our line-up is drummer Keith "Sticks" Warrington?

0:23:300:23:34

Is it number one, Teenage Warning?

0:23:340:23:36

Number two, Teenage Dirtbag?

0:23:360:23:39

Number three, teenagers beware?

0:23:390:23:42

Number four, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

0:23:430:23:46

Or number five, teenagesluts.com?

0:23:470:23:50

Drummers usually got good arms, so look for good arms.

0:23:530:23:57

That's all of them.

0:23:570:23:58

I think this is...it's basically the opposite of what we'd expect,

0:23:590:24:03

the one who's least what you'd expect.

0:24:030:24:05

He's grown up, he don't want all that teenage stuff.

0:24:050:24:08

He's like, "I'm a taxi driver now."

0:24:080:24:10

I can't say I would happily get into the taxi driven by any of these men.

0:24:100:24:15

I'd get in number two.

0:24:150:24:18

-You'd get in a taxi of number two?

-Well, if he offered.

0:24:180:24:21

Example, you turned up today with a film crew.

0:24:220:24:26

-Yeah.

-Explain.

-I'm on this tour, I can only get round the country

0:24:260:24:30

using the help of my fans.

0:24:300:24:32

You've set yourself an improbable challenge?

0:24:320:24:35

Yeah, no, it's going quite well, actually.

0:24:350:24:37

Basically, someone sends you a message on Twitter,

0:24:370:24:40

"I'll drive you, you can stay at my house."

0:24:400:24:42

Then we look at the pictures and see who's fittest bird, and go there.

0:24:420:24:46

Do you think that murderers and that just put a picture of a fit bird up

0:24:460:24:50

and go, "He's coming!"

0:24:500:24:52

-Well...

-"Any day now."

-..if they didn't, they might do now.

0:24:520:24:57

Three's giving me evils.

0:24:590:25:02

That's very rock and roll. He's properly staring me down.

0:25:020:25:06

-Three looks like Santa in the summer.

-No!

0:25:060:25:08

What's up with three's gloves? His Christmas wrapping present gloves.

0:25:110:25:16

-I think number two. CEE LO:

-I like those gloves.

0:25:180:25:20

-Cos he looks like...

-I... It's two or four.

0:25:200:25:24

Two. Two. We've got to pick someone, let's go with two.

0:25:240:25:27

Let's find out. Would the real Keith "Sticks" Warrington

0:25:270:25:30

please step forward?

0:25:300:25:31

APPLAUSE

0:25:310:25:32

Now drumming with the band Handheld from Gateshead, Keith "Sticks" Warrington!

0:25:380:25:42

And at the end of that round, oooh, oh, oooh-aah-ooh-aah.

0:25:490:25:52

Noel's team has three, whereas Phill's team has three.

0:25:520:25:55

So, we end with Next Lines. Phill's team, you go first.

0:26:030:26:07

Your time starts now.

0:26:070:26:09

Lady, take me high upon a hillside.

0:26:090:26:11

And do me proper.

0:26:110:26:13

No. High up where the stallion meets the sun. Barry Manilow,

0:26:150:26:18

-Could It Be Magic.

-Oh, yes.

0:26:180:26:20

You don't have to be rich to be my girl.

0:26:200:26:23

-But it would help.

-Oh, um...

0:26:230:26:26

-Don't have to be cool to rule my world.

-Prince, Kiss.

0:26:260:26:28

It's close to midnight.

0:26:280:26:31

# It's close to midnight, something evil's lurking in the dark. #

0:26:310:26:34

Thriller, Michael Jackson. Tie me kangaroo down, sport.

0:26:340:26:38

Tie me kangaroo down.

0:26:360:26:38

Chris Packham, Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport.

0:26:380:26:41

You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals.

0:26:410:26:43

Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

0:26:430:26:46

Chris Packham, The Bad Touch.

0:26:460:26:48

Waiting round the bend.

0:26:480:26:50

-It's Chris Packham!

-No.

0:26:500:26:52

I'll never be allowed back in a zoo.

0:26:530:26:56

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

0:26:570:27:00

Noel's team, you need seven points to win.

0:27:040:27:06

And your time starts now.

0:27:060:27:09

Pack it up, pack it in.

0:27:090:27:10

-Let me begin.

-House Of Pain, Jump Around.

0:27:100:27:13

I think you're crazy.

0:27:130:27:14

Possibly.

0:27:140:27:16

-Do you want another go?

-I think you're crazy!

0:27:160:27:20

I just got a blowie from a dolphin!

0:27:200:27:22

Gnarls Barkley, Crazy. I guess he's an XBox and I'm more Atari.

0:27:220:27:27

I pity the fool.

0:27:270:27:28

But the way...

0:27:280:27:29

Oh, but the way you play your game ain't fair. Damn! It's my song!

0:27:290:27:33

-You did sing these? Good.

-Yeah.

0:27:330:27:35

Hand in glove.

0:27:350:27:37

-And the sun shines out of your behind.

-With Those Badgers, Chris Packham.

0:27:370:27:41

Wild horses.

0:27:410:27:43

Couldn't drag me away.

0:27:430:27:45

Chris Packham, Wild Horses. Love cats.

0:27:450:27:48

-Never touch them.

-No, Chris, it's illegal. You do right. It's illegal.

0:27:490:27:53

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

0:27:530:27:54

We lost.

0:27:560:27:58

Well, now. At the end of all that bit of television,

0:28:000:28:04

Phill's team has nine points, but Noel's team has ten points!

0:28:040:28:08

Thanks to Noel, Cee Lo and Chris,

0:28:150:28:18

Phill, Andi and Example. I've been Robert Webb.

0:28:180:28:21

This has been...fine. Good night.

0:28:210:28:24

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:420:28:44

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:440:28:47

Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz.

Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest host Robert Webb plus guest panellists Cee Lo Green, Chris Packham, Example and Andi Osho.


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