Episode 6 Never Mind the Buzzcocks


Episode 6

Anarchic pop quiz. Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter Tim Minchin, and panellists Paloma Faith, Jason Donovan, Tim Key and DJ Target.


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Transcript


LineFromTo

Hello, and welcome to the show. I'm Tim Minchin.

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As a comedian who plays music,

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you'd think I'd be the perfect host on Buzzcocks,

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but I've realised all you need to do

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is wear mascara and read an Autocue.

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Sadly, I never learned to red.

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On Phil's team tonight...

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This show has been accused of booking guests

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merely as targets for jokes.

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I thought I'd make it a target-free show until I heard this guy was on.

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Front man for Roll Deep, our target for the week, DJ Target.

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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# Everybody wants to rule the world... #

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He's not here to talk about the past or hark back to former glories.

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He's far too busy promoting his new album of '80s covers.

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It's Jason Donovan!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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# So glad we've almost made it... #

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And on Noel's team...

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# And now we're through... #

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She's a kooky singer-songwriter,

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famed for her kooky style and kooky charm.

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Here to provide kookiness,

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lead kook from The Kooks, it's Paloma Faith.

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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There's a little-known law of physics

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that if you book one obscure poetical comedian called Tim,

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you have to book a second to ensure you don't open up a wormhole

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and suck your panel show into another dimension.

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Please welcome the safety Tim, poet and genius Tim Key.

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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So, we begin with Guess Who.

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Phil, Target and Jason, look at this.

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# I'll be your sexual freak of the week... #

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A man who paid a high price

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when his three passions - cannabis, driving and amateur photography - collided,

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he's Britain's highest-charting stunt driver, George Michael.

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# I'm bringing sexy back... #

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Yeah, yeah, Timberlake,

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you can be a heartthrob, pop star, dancer and actor.

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But until you've starred in an Iceland commercial,

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you'll only every be a poor man's Jason Donovan.

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It's Justin Timberlake.

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That was Justin Timberlake with Sexy Back

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and George Michael with Freeek.

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But whose music proved successful in encouraging sharks to mate?

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Aren't sharks enough bother already without them being horny as well?

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They'll bite your leg off,

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and the last thing you want is them having a little fiddle as well.

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More people get killed by bees every year than sharks.

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But sharks have the statistical advantage

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of not being where we are nearly all the time.

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-We eat shark in Australia. As you'd know, Tim.

-Yeah.

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Fish and chips is primarily made of it, rather than cod.

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It's called "flake" in Australia.

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-Is flake shark?

-Flake is shark, yeah.

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-What does it taste like?

-It tastes like shark.

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-That's amazing!

-It's quite tough.

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Chicken. Everything tastes like chicken.

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To sharks.

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Except for After Eights.

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Which taste like mint chicken.

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I hope the Colonel's not watching. He'll think, "Ooh, there's a trick I've missed!"

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Can I ask Phil, did you use to look like George Michael in that video?

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He doesn't look dissimilar to you in that red...

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I think you'll find I look like him right now.

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What, in jail?

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Worried, and a bit puzzled.

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Do this for me.

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That's him. That's the fella.

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I can imagine him in the shower room

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and a shark coming up to him going, "I think you've dropped your soap."

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You'd better hope it's a dolphin,

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so it can stick the soap in the blowhole and make a getaway.

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Ah, soapy blowholes! Anyway...

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I know it's your first time hosting,

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but one of the things you must do is steer it away from shark rape.

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-As and when it comes up.

-Just let me write that down. No...

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No shark rape.

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So, Timberlake, Sexy Back.

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-Has he got a sexy back?

-He's got a hairy back.

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-We might call our album that.

-What, Hairy Back?

-Hairy Back.

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Why did you call yourself Target?

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-It's a terrible idea, coming on the show.

-It is.

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-Was DJ Victim taken?

-Somebody phoned and said, "Victim is taken. You have to think of another name."

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-Does anyone know your songs?

-Hopefully.

-Any good?

-They are.

-Why are you so crap, Target?

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-Sorry. He's a target.

-TWANG!

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-Can I get one of those?

-Nope.

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It's weird because it doesn't necessarily work...

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-No. Oh, dear me.

-TWANG!

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-Ah! There you go.

-Absolute nightmare.

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You're in a terrible position, Target.

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-I want to hear an answer.

-Got to definitely go with...

-George Michael.

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-George Michael makes sharks hornier than Justin Timberlake?

-Yes.

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You are wrong.

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Research by Sea Life in Germany

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shows that sharks are more likely to mate

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when they hear the music of Justin Timberlake.

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This was sold as research to encourage shark reproduction,

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but we all know this is another example of Germany's obsession with exotic pornography.

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I've not seen the video Two Sharks, One Hook.

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But we all love milf.com - you know, "manatees I'd like to fin".

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Noel, Paloma and Tim, take a look at this.

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# Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive, stayin' alive... #

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Things are hotting up for this band.

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They're down to the last two,

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though Maurice will probably struggle with the live shows.

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It's the Bee Gees.

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# For some reason I can't explain... #

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A band who have the temerity to be popular.

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How dare you aspire to greater things

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when there's a spiteful pop quiz

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that wants to relentlessly take the piss out of you?

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It's Noseplay - I mean Coldplay.

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That was Coldplay with Viva La Vida,

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and the Bee Gees with Staying Alive.

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But whose music is used by doctors to help them revive patients?

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The Bee Gees or Coldplay?

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They should probably try other methods first.

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I'm slightly concerned

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about the fact that the Bee Gees are saying "staying alive".

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-Is that supposed to be...

-Ironic? Yeah.

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I think doctors find that, if they really annoy their patients with their sarcasm,

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they tend to wake up.

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But what if it doesn't work,

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and then they know that they've played Staying Alive all in vain?

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I don't know that. I do know I've got a present for you under my hat.

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-And it's some plastic spiders.

-Yay!

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We don't have enough mascots on this show

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so I thought we could all have one.

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-I would like to give you a present.

-Don't you think Noel and Paloma are just so cute?

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-Hang on a minute!

-Just as a couple, I mean.

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This is just to prompt your memories. Hit it.

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KYLIE: # I wanna show you

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# My heart is oh so true

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# And all the love I have is especially for you... #

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-I've got a present for Noel.

-You've got a present for Noel?

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Is it a sort of sharky present?

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It's a fry-up on a ring.

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-Of course it is!

-So with this ring, I thee wed.

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Holy shit! It's like Jason and Kylie all over again!

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Since the last show, I've basically...

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Noel doesn't know this but I've been sat in a tree in his garden

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since the last show.

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I was wondering who that was.

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And I've been filming everything he does.

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I just want to ask, the hat, how is it secured?

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Is it like a pin underneath,

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or has someone hit the peg in with a hammer?

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-With a hammer.

-It's one of Tim's arrows.

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-Oh, no!

-TWANG!

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I think this is a good time to bring out my clue.

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Do you want me to be mean about Coldplay like I always am?

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I don't know about that.

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-Chris Martin's a Scientologist.

-Is he?

-No.

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Get yourself out of that one!

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Actually, that would turn me, but I still wouldn't hate their music.

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-Have you got a joke, Tim?

-Yeah, I think I might have.

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I don't know whether Coldplay could revive someone from...

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if they were almost going to die, but...

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but...

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but certainly, in some situations,

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it might help if you have a cold play Coldplay.

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That's just Coldplay word play. It's bad.

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I genuinely thought I had a joke.

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LAUGHTER

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If I was dying, though, and I woke up and Coldplay was playing,

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I would kill myself.

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-You're angry about Coldplay.

-All right, Columbo! I know I am!

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Who sold more records, you or Coldplay?

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Definitely Coldplay.

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-Or Kylie Minogue?

-Definitely Kylie Minogue.

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-Do you miss her, Jason?

-Deeply. Yeah.

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-Are you still friendly?

-Yeah, yeah. Very close.

-Can we do a duet?

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-Do you want to give her a call?

-LAUGHTER

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Do you really have Kylie's number?

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-Tell me honestly.

-No, he doesn't. He's pretending.

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He's holding on to the past.

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Let it go. You've got Kerry Katona.

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I have, actually.

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What's happening?

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-What are these dummies made for?

-Practising CPR.

-Practising CPR.

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I think Bee Gees is too ironic, and I think CP stands for Coldplay.

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-Coldplay.

-Coldplay.

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-They have answered Coldplay. And your answer is... wrong.

-No!

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The Bee Gees song, Staying Alive, has a similar number of beats per minute

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to the recommended pace of CPR,

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so has been used to train student doctors.

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OK, look. If you were a doctor

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who happened to be a little bit on the "love of disco" side,

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you might choose to go...

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-FALSETTO:

-# You can tell by the way I use my walk

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-# I'm a woman's man No time to...

-HE EXHALES

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# Music loud and women warm... #

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You've got to be careful because you can get confused by...

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# Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' alive

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# Ah, ah, ah, ah Stayin' ali-i-i-ive

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# Stayin' alive! #

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-Tim, that was beautiful.

-Thank you.

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You've definitely won the nation's hearts.

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And at the end of that round, the scores are -

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Phil's team on 0 and Noel's team on 0.

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Next up, it's the Intros round.

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Phil and Target, these are yours for Jason Donovan.

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And there's a bit of a departure from normal procedure.

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This is called an Idiot Australian Cabaret Musician card,

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which you can choose to play, Jason, at any time if you're stuck.

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You love it.

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One, two, three, four. Two, two, three, four.

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MIMICS ELECTRONIC NOTES

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TARGET JOINS IN

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# Mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss...

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# Da-da rum bum bum bum bum bum bum ba-bum

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# Mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss

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# Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum ba-bum

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-# Mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss mm-tss

-It's good.

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# Ba-ba bum bum bum bum bum bum bum ba-bum... #

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Modern?

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No, it's actually a '30s classic(!)

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-The Saturdays?

-No!

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I'm going to play the card.

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ALL CHEER

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HE PLAYS MELLOW INTRODUCTION

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-JASON:

-Wow. Coldplay?

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HE PLAYS MORE JAUNTILY

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PHIL HUMS ALONG

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Sing the words!

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# Around the world Around the world... #

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-Yes!

-Say it out loud.

-All Around The World!

-Whoo!

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# Around the world Around the world

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# Around the... #

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You are correct! Here is how it should have sounded.

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MUSIC: "Around The World" by Daft Punk

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# Around the world Around the world

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# Around the world Around the world... #

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Can I blow my nose? I've got a bit of a cold at the moment.

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Everyone...will think I'm back on the bizzo.

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LAUGHTER

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One, two, three, four.

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# Dink-a-dink dink, dink dink Dink-a-dink dink, naw naw naw

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# Dah dah dah-dah dah dah

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# Too many dreams can be broken in two... #

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Come on, play this, Tim.

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-Play this.

-Oh, I don't know this song.

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LAUGHTER

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Jason knows this. You were less likely to hear it in Australia.

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-It was never big in Australia.

-No. We export this shit.

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Well, what was the song, Jason? We haven't heard.

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Too Many Broken Hearts - thank you very much - by myself.

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You are correct, Jason Donovan!

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And this is how it should have sounded.

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MUSIC: "Too Many Broken Hearts" by Jason Donovan

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You never did that. I'm sorry I left.

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We've only been married half an hour, you dick!

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To move straight in on my wife - what's wrong with you?

0:15:340:15:37

You look like Pan, but that's not an excuse either,

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you stinking goat in a waistcoat.

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This is the only episode where I could imagine a full orgy happening in the green room after.

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Donovan will be wearing Tim's cardi, my top hat

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and nothing else.

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Not all trussed up like you, you nonce.

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So that was Jason Donovan with Too Many Broken Hearts.

0:16:030:16:06

Jason was invited back for the Neighbours 25th anniversary special

0:16:060:16:09

but declined, saying his career had moved on since then.

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HE LAUGHS MOCKINGLY

0:16:130:16:14

Come on, Jason. We all know that for 100 quid, you'd have dressed up as Bouncer.

0:16:150:16:20

LAUGHTER

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And we heard Daft Punk with Around The World.

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The song Around The World features the same lyric 143 times.

0:16:270:16:31

It's even more repetitive than this sound.

0:16:310:16:33

-AS JASON:

-Hello, Kylie? Please pick up.

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It's me again.

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Just call? Please, just call?

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Just call? Please, just call?

0:16:420:16:45

Noel and Paloma, here are your intros for Tim.

0:16:480:16:51

And, Tim, this is your picture of my face in case you can't guess one

0:16:510:16:55

and you want me to bugger it up on the piano.

0:16:550:16:59

-Adopt the position.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

0:17:000:17:02

# Bom bom bom

0:17:020:17:04

# Bom bom bom bom-ba-bom

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-# Brrring

-# Bom bom bom

0:17:070:17:08

# Bom bom bom bom-ba-bom

0:17:080:17:11

-# Brrring

-# Bom bom bom

0:17:110:17:12

# Bom bom bom bom-ba-bom

0:17:120:17:14

# Brrring Chink-chink chink chink chink chink

0:17:140:17:18

# Chicka-chink Chicka-chink-chink-chink

0:17:180:17:19

# Chicka-chicken-and-chick Chicka-chick, daw daw

0:17:190:17:22

BOTH: # Chicken and chips Chicken and chips... #

0:17:220:17:24

LAUGHTER

0:17:240:17:26

# Chicken and chips, chicken and chips. #

0:17:260:17:28

I don't know the answer to this one.

0:17:280:17:31

Can we throw it to the more knowledgeable team?

0:17:310:17:33

You can throw it all you want. We've not got a scooby.

0:17:330:17:36

-No-one knows it. It's Talking Heads, "Psycho Killer".

-Oh, God!

0:17:360:17:40

And this is how it should have sounded.

0:17:400:17:42

MUSIC: "Psycho Killer" by Talking Heads

0:17:420:17:44

-I've heard that song.

-Brrring!

-No, it's coming.

0:17:480:17:51

Chicken and chips. Wait for chicken and chips.

0:17:510:17:54

BOTH: # Chicken and chips Chicken and chips

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# Chicken and chips. #

0:17:560:17:58

That's not chicken and chips. It's...

0:17:580:18:00

HE CLUCKS IN RHYTHM

0:18:000:18:02

# I can't seem to face up to the facts... #

0:18:020:18:04

Who's that? Who's that?

0:18:040:18:06

-Paloma and Noel.

-Hi, Tim.

-Hi.

0:18:060:18:09

Would you please do another introduction for Tim Key?

0:18:090:18:12

If you don't get this, you're a tosser.

0:18:120:18:15

One, two, three, four.

0:18:170:18:19

# Dar dar dar dar dar Nar-nar nar nar

0:18:190:18:22

# Dar dar dar dar dar Nar-nar nar nar

0:18:220:18:26

-# Dar dar dar dar dar

-# Ba-da-da ba-da, ba-da-da ba-da

0:18:260:18:30

# Nar nar nar nar nar Nar-nar nar nar... #

0:18:300:18:34

Yeah, yeah, all right. Yeah.

0:18:350:18:38

This idea of getting me playing piano in a smoke machine has really worked well(!)

0:18:380:18:43

-HE PLAYS

-Beat It.

0:18:430:18:46

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:18:460:18:49

You're right, Tim Key. That was Beat It by Michael Jackson.

0:18:560:19:00

This is how, ideally, it would have sounded.

0:19:000:19:03

MUSIC: "Beat It" by Michael Jackson

0:19:030:19:05

-Wow!

-It's exactly the same.

0:19:050:19:07

HE HUMS ALONG TO INTRO

0:19:140:19:16

-JACKSON:

-# They told him don't you ever come around here

0:19:170:19:20

# Ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba... #

0:19:200:19:23

So that was Michael Jackson with Beat It.

0:19:230:19:26

Unfortunately, our lawyers vetoed all the jokes we wrote about Michael Jackson,

0:19:260:19:30

but have helpfully provided us with some of their own.

0:19:300:19:33

So here we go.

0:19:330:19:35

Why did Michael Jackson like Coca-Cola?

0:19:350:19:37

Because he was the King of Pop.

0:19:370:19:40

What is Michael Jackson's favourite type of film?

0:19:410:19:44

A thriller.

0:19:440:19:45

Why did Michael Jackson face a series of child molestation accusations?

0:19:460:19:51

Because they were falsely levelled at him

0:19:510:19:53

and he was later found innocent in a court of law.

0:19:530:19:56

And Psycho Killer by Talking Heads.

0:19:570:20:00

Talking Heads got their name from an old TV show.

0:20:000:20:02

Similarly, Roll Deep toyed with calling their band Deal Or No Deal.

0:20:020:20:06

-Though, sadly for us, the record company opted for Deal.

-SILENCE

0:20:060:20:11

That was pretty poor.

0:20:110:20:13

-Tim...

-Go on.

-Give the bow and arrow to Target.

0:20:160:20:20

-Tim...

-TWANG!

0:20:240:20:26

Round Three is the Identity Parade.

0:20:300:20:32

Phil, Target and Jason, how about some naughty spun pop?

0:20:320:20:36

For the audience only, here is Uniting Nations.

0:20:360:20:39

# If I gave you my loving would you take it?

0:20:390:20:42

# If I opened my heart would you turn the key?

0:20:420:20:46

# Cos I knew from the start, baby, we could make it

0:20:460:20:50

# We could make it together, you and me

0:20:500:20:54

# Yeah, you and me

0:20:540:20:56

# You and me... #

0:20:560:20:59

That was Uniting Nations with You And Me.

0:20:590:21:01

But which of our line-up is singer Craig Powell?

0:21:010:21:04

Is it number one, You And Me?

0:21:040:21:06

Number two, You And Me Have Got A Lot In Common?

0:21:060:21:09

Number three, You And Me Could Have Been Amazing Together?

0:21:090:21:13

Number four, There Is No You And Me?

0:21:130:21:16

Or number five, You And Me - Outside - Right Now?

0:21:160:21:20

-It's number two or four.

-Two or four?

-Definitely.

0:21:210:21:24

Striking one completely out?

0:21:240:21:26

He looks like he could've grown his hair since the band dismembered.

0:21:260:21:30

Dismembered?!

0:21:300:21:32

What kind of band were you?!

0:21:320:21:35

Then it's number one if they were dismembering people!

0:21:350:21:39

Number five is Mayor of London.

0:21:390:21:41

-Number three looks angry.

-Yeah, because he works on the show.

0:21:450:21:49

-Maybe it is number three.

-It's not. He works on the show.

0:21:500:21:54

He used to work in Boots, the chemist.

0:21:570:21:59

Number one is wearing boots.

0:21:590:22:01

He's one of those tricky people, the sort you see on the Tube,

0:22:040:22:10

and you follow him a bit impishly thinking, "She might be nice."

0:22:100:22:15

Number one, can you turn around and face the back, please?

0:22:160:22:20

And then to have her turn around...

0:22:240:22:27

-That's a bad result.

-Yes.

0:22:270:22:29

Four's very smiley and moving his legs a lot.

0:22:300:22:34

-And his hands.

-Can't keep still.

0:22:340:22:36

So why isn't it two, Donovan?

0:22:360:22:37

You said two or four. Why isn't it two?

0:22:370:22:39

-It's got to be four.

-But why is it two or four?

0:22:390:22:42

Because it's a pop...

0:22:420:22:45

Because number three WORKS ON THE SHOW!

0:22:450:22:48

LAUGHTER

0:22:480:22:50

Number four. Let's say number four.

0:22:510:22:54

Would the real Craig Powell please step forward?

0:22:540:22:57

-JASON:

-Yay!

0:22:570:22:58

APPLAUSE

0:22:580:23:00

Now recording as a solo artist, Craig Powell, ladies and gentlemen.

0:23:030:23:07

APPLAUSE

0:23:070:23:08

Noel, Paloma and Tim, what about some angry young men from the '80s?

0:23:120:23:16

For the audience only, here is Cockney Rejects.

0:23:160:23:20

-PUNK STYLE:

-# I'm forever blowing bubbles

0:23:200:23:23

# Pretty bubbles in the air

0:23:250:23:28

# They fly so high

0:23:300:23:32

# They nearly reach the sky

0:23:320:23:35

# Then just like my dreams they fade and die... #

0:23:350:23:41

Cockney Rejects with I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.

0:23:410:23:43

But which of our line-up is bassist Vince Riordan?

0:23:430:23:46

Is it number one, Blowing Bubbles?

0:23:460:23:49

Number two, Blowing His Big Chance?

0:23:490:23:52

Number three, Blown Away By The Quality Of The Line-up?

0:23:520:23:55

Number four, Blowing His £80 Fee On Haribo And Special Brew?

0:23:550:23:59

Or number five, Blow Me, It's The Bloke From Cockney Rejects?

0:23:590:24:04

Noel's team, have a stab.

0:24:060:24:08

I like the third one. He looks like...

0:24:080:24:10

-COCKNEY ACCENT:

-He's ready to have it!

0:24:100:24:12

The problem is you've chosen five people I'd be scared to tease.

0:24:130:24:17

I might go over there and see which one smells of crab sticks.

0:24:190:24:22

While you're going over there...

0:24:240:24:26

He works for the Government

0:24:270:24:29

and he's not allowed to disclose the location.

0:24:290:24:32

Oh, that's helped.

0:24:320:24:34

-Tim, that must have cleared it up for you, right?

-Yeah, it's four.

0:24:340:24:38

-Put your top hat on one.

-OK.

0:24:400:24:42

No.

0:24:430:24:45

-Can you try it on number three, Noel?

-Number three?

0:24:480:24:51

Wow.

0:24:510:24:53

Number three's got natural teeth.

0:24:540:24:57

This is not going to work for you fashion-wise, but...

0:25:010:25:04

That is brilliant!

0:25:040:25:06

Seriously.

0:25:090:25:10

I feel like Trinny and Susannah. I've completed your look.

0:25:100:25:15

Noel, we've narrowed it down to two of them.

0:25:150:25:18

-Really?

-We thought two or three, so we'll go for three.

0:25:180:25:21

Let's find out. Would the real Vince Riordan please step forward?

0:25:210:25:26

Oh!

0:25:260:25:27

APPLAUSE

0:25:270:25:29

Now working for the Government in an undisclosed location,

0:25:310:25:34

Vince Riordan, ladies and gentlemen.

0:25:340:25:36

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:25:360:25:38

So, we end with Next Lines.

0:25:440:25:46

Phil's team are in the lead, so you go first.

0:25:460:25:49

"Check out the skirt on that."

0:25:490:25:51

"Nuff short, straight to the bar, tequila, lemon salt."

0:25:510:25:54

Oh, my God, you almost stuffed that up. Roll Deep, DJ Target.

0:25:540:25:58

"Too many broken hearts in the world."

0:25:580:26:01

-"So I won't give up the fight for you."

-That's not what I've got.

0:26:010:26:05

"There's too many, dreams can be broken in two."

0:26:050:26:07

I'll give you that, Jason. It's been a long time.

0:26:070:26:10

"Now have you heard of my friend Dawn?"

0:26:110:26:14

"She just nicked off with a bunch of prawns"?

0:26:140:26:16

"She just slipped off with a platter of prawns." Close enough.

0:26:160:26:20

Jason Donovan and Coleen Nolan from the Iceland advertisement.

0:26:200:26:23

"I should be so lucky."

0:26:260:26:27

"Lucky lucky lucky."

0:26:270:26:30

By the woman who rejected... Er, it's from Kylie Minogue.

0:26:300:26:33

Finish this one, please. "Hi. This is Kylie. Please leave a message."

0:26:340:26:38

LAUGHTER

0:26:420:26:44

"So, what are you wearing?"

0:26:440:26:45

BURST OF MUSIC

0:26:460:26:49

APPLAUSE

0:26:500:26:52

Noel's team, you need six points to win. Your time starts...

0:26:530:26:57

Wait. I think we can do this but we need to be a bit more unified.

0:26:570:27:00

Capes on.

0:27:000:27:02

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:27:090:27:11

"Ah, ah, ah, ah."

0:27:150:27:17

"Staying alive." The Bee Gees. Staying Alive.

0:27:170:27:19

"Around the world."

0:27:190:27:20

-"Around the world."

-"Around the world."

-"Around the world."

0:27:200:27:24

-Eighteenth line?

-ALL: "Around the world."

-Daft Punk. Around The World.

0:27:240:27:28

-"Around the world"?

-# Around the world, around the... #

0:27:280:27:32

Daft Punk. Around The World.

0:27:320:27:33

-"Around the world"?

-ALL: "Around the world."

0:27:330:27:38

This is like karaoke night at Guantanamo Bay!

0:27:380:27:41

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:27:410:27:43

"I counted to 100 and said, 'I'm coming!'

0:27:460:27:48

"But it was a trick. And she had left me."

0:27:480:27:51

Tim Key, poem 1,077.

0:27:510:27:54

"Noel and Paloma sitting in a tree."

0:27:540:27:56

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

0:27:560:27:59

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:28:010:28:05

And the final scores are...

0:28:060:28:08

Noel's team on eight, Phil's team on seven!

0:28:080:28:11

Can you believe it?

0:28:110:28:13

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:28:130:28:15

Thanks to Phil, Target and Jason,

0:28:200:28:23

Noel, Paloma and Tim.

0:28:230:28:25

This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

0:28:250:28:27

We're all off for an orgy in the green room in our pumpkin costumes.

0:28:270:28:30

You can go do whatever you like. Thank you. Good night.

0:28:300:28:33

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:29:010:29:03

E-mail [email protected]

0:29:030:29:05

Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter Tim Minchin, and panellists Paloma Faith, Jason Donovan, Tim Key and DJ Target.


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