Episode 7 Never Mind the Buzzcocks


Episode 7

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Transcript


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THIS PROGRAMME CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Yes, and welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks

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with the kingpin of the car game, the big dog pitbull,

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your boy, Westwood.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Now I'm going to pimp the Buzzcocks Westwood style.

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DRUM MACHINE

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Thank you.

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Now, riding out on Uncle Phill's team tonight...

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He can't do backflips like Aston,

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but he's the tallest one in JLS.

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Tall enough to reach the top shelf at a service station.

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He's JLS porn provider, my man Marvin.

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She's an end-of-the-pier comedienne.

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In fact, so far at the end, she fell off and broke her arm.

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It's the finalist bird and comedienne, Holly Walsh.

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And in Dr Noel's team...

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He's the godfather of grime,

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he's seen more grime than Amy Winehouse's downstairs flannel.

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And that's nasty. It's my man Wiley. What's up? Good to have you here.

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From the opera scene, where they don't rap the words, they sing them

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like someone's grabbing their nutsack.

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It's crazy, it'll never take off, here's Russell "The Voice" Watson!

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APPLAUSE

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So let's get it cracking with Round One.

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# Woo! Woo! That's the sound of the police! #

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You still here, Wiley? Now...

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Uncle Phill...

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Marvin and Holly, I want you to check this out.

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# Baby, I like it The way you move on the floor

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# Baby, I like it Come on and give me some more

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# Oh, yes, I like it... #

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Enrique Iglesias with I Like It.

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But how did some water-skis get him in trouble with the Miami police?

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Now, Uncle Phill, I know you've got Marvin here

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and he is definitely in the top four of JLS.

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But to be honest, he's not the full package.

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So what we've got is a sub bench full of JLS.

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Ladies, please!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Fantastic.

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Now what's going to happen, when you hear this noise...

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KLAXON

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..there's going to be a substitution, not out of your choice.

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Got to swap musical chairs, that's what's going to happen.

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What happens if one of us sustains a serious injury?

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-Do we get to sub with a member of JLS?

-Like falling off the end of a pier, love?

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-How is your arm?

-It's a bit bent.

-A bit bent?

-Yeah.

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Is it metal now?

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It's largely metal, yeah.

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You should have got a claw.

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That's the NHS for you. If I'd gone private, I would have had a drill on my arm.

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-That would be wicked.

-What actually happened to you? I don't understand. Were you pushed?

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You know this Worthing Birdman Festival? People try and fly. I tried to do that.

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-I was in a homemade helicopter...

-Unsuccessful?

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Did not work out.

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Do you know what, Wiley? The homemade ones usually are.

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-Mr Iglesias. Know anything about him?

-I think he's quite attractive.

-What?!

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I think he's quite attractive.

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And also he's who I model my fringe on.

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He actually sounded like he'd been sucking on helium before he did the performance.

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-That's a specific tip a lot of pop stars use. That's right, yeah?

-Remarkable.

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Performance-enhancing drugs amongst the pop music world is mainly helium and kick in the balls.

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I go for the simple nut crush, it's much easier.

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-Do you crush your own or do you have a roadie?

-I have an official nut crusher.

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Do you know what's funny about this video? I don't know if you saw,

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but there's a girl in this video in a pink bikini.

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Oh, right. Her?

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-Yes.

-She seems to be having a lovely time.

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That girl there...

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She was in our video, The Club Is Alive.

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-There were loads of girls there and we had this professional pole-dancing girl, right?

-Where's this going now?

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Director was like, "Any girls here that want to jump up on the pole..."

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You've never seen someone move...

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Maybe she just wants to be a fireman.

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-JLS, I really respect your game at the moment, you've put out a range of condoms.

-Yes.

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We launched our own charity, the JLS Foundation, so for us, young role models,

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our demographic is between 16 and 24 so we thought we'd do something good and spread a good message.

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So for a lot of young guys, when they lose their virginity,

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the last face they see is yours.

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I mean, I have my own range, you know I have my own range of condoms.

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Of... OK.

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Slap it up, there.

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Do you know what? I think seeing your face is the best form of contraception.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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Thank you.

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Marvin, your girlfriend is Rochelle from The Saturdays.

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-It is indeed.

-Have you ever had sex with an Aston condom on to give him a chance?

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-Aston can create his own chances quite easily.

-With your girlfriend.

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That'd be wrong, man.

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There's enough Saturdays anyway, so Aston can...

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That's the way to look at it!

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They're like buses, another one will be along in a minute.

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So what happened with Enrique Iglesias? Why did he get in trouble?

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OK, so, Enrique Iglesias, obviously Spanish, during the World Cup,

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made a bet with all of his mates in Miami and said,

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"If Spain win the World Cup, I'll go on a Jet Ski naked...

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-Yeah?

-"..through the beach in Miami."

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Obviously Spain won the World Cup, police found out and then they said to him he couldn't do it.

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And that is the right answer. Can we have a round of applause, please?

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APPLAUSE

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Enrique water-skied butt naked in celebration of Spain's World Cup win.

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Back in 2008, Enrique appeared on Loose Women.

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The women found it very moving - there wasn't a dry seat in the house.

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KLAXON

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Substitution change!

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APPLAUSE

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-Dr Noel...

-Hello.

-..Russell and my good man Wiley.

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I want you to check this out.

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# Papa's got a brand new bag... #

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Since his death, his gutsy funk is now stronger than ever.

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It's that dead soul guy, James Brown.

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# Papa's got a brand new bag. #

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James Brown with Papa's Got A Brand New Bag.

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But what I want to know is why did he get in trouble with the law

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at an insurance seminar back in 1988?

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-Papa's got a brand new bag.

-He was early in the game.

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We've got bags for life now, we don't need James Brown's.

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He's unbelievable, isn't he? He wears capes, I love that, I like to wear a cape.

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He's got pointy shoes. I think I might be trying to be the white James Brown.

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-You've got the same hairstyle as James Brown as well. Back in the day.

-Who? Me?

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-Yeah, you.

-That is a liberty.

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That's like an auntie's hair, what are you on about?

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I was out the other week, about a month ago,

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and Noel Gallagher came up to me and went... I had a cape on and he went,

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"It's not the fact you've got a fucking cape on, mate, it's the fact it's a Tuesday."

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-If you look at us as a group of individuals, it's quite bizarre, really.

-Yeah.

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-Yeah.

-You mean where would these people ever have met?

-Exactly!

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I know. It's quite weird, it's like we're different decades.

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Different lifetimes!

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-You look like my accountant.

-Thank you.

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And his solicitor.

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Can I say one thing? He looks like my lawyer.

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Without fail.

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You've got the same suit. Different tie.

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You look like my mum.

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His mum IS hot, shut your mouth.

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Wiley, I heard you're scared of foxes, is this true?

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-Oh, my God...

-You had a video, Wearing My Rolex, you didn't turn up cos there was foxes in it.

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Do you know what it was, Tim? I actually saw the foxes

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and I thought, "You know what? I'm going leave here and let the foxes do the video for me."

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They looked better than me that day, they actually...

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got styled better than I looked, so I let them do it for me.

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Has that ever happened to you, JLS?

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Has Louis ever made you do something that you didn't want to do?

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-How did James Brown...

-I think I know this.

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I think what happened was James Brown tried to do

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an insurance job on his own place.

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Set fire to his own cape and boots.

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-Tried to get the money back on the insurance.

-That's what he's tried to do. He's sped off

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-and he's on the chase.

-Yes?

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-And then the police have shot his tyres out.

-Interesting.

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-And they've gone on him. They went on him.

-Interesting Wiley thought of that one,

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cos that's entirely wrong.

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You got any ideas?

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No. As his lawyer, I deny that accusation.

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Was there a firearm involved in it?

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Did he shoot a fox?

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I'm going to have to tell you.

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James Brown stormed out of the insurance seminar with a pistol and a shotgun,

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complaining that someone had used his toilet without permission.

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I don't blame him.

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Stay off my throne, you suckers.

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SILENCE

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No-one's laughing, I don't understand.

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LAUGHTER

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-Am I losing my touch?

-I think they thought there was going to be an extra nugget on the end.

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That was the fucking nugget...

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If you put a sound effect on the end, we'd know it was the end,

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and they'd just go for it.

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It's because you've got off-beat timing.

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In what way?

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Just like normal comedians go, da-da-da-da-da-da...DA-DA!

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You go, ba-do-di-ba-da-bo-da!

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Next up, it's the Intros round!

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Uncle Phill, I'm here to pimp your team, so I need the whole of JLS

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to help you out, come up, guys.

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I'm having my team pimped.

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APPLAUSE

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Good luck, guys.

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That's for Phill.

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Thank you. I have here a piece of paper from Tim Westwood.

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You got enough help with you, have you?

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Look at you, you're like Fagin up there.

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-OK?

-Yep.

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1, 2, 3, 4...

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1... On 4!

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I thought you were going to start with the bass. All right!

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Yeah, yeah, yeah! (Fucking idiots!)

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Here we go.

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# Doo-di-di-doo di-di-doo-di-di-doo-di-di-doo...

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# 1, 2, 3, 4!

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-MIMICS TRUMPET

-# Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

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# Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

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# Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

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# Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do

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# Do...do...do-do-do-do-do-do... #

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I have no idea what Marvin's contribution to that was.

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I was bass with Phil!

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-I dunno.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah.

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NOEL: Oh. I think I do know.

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Shall I throw it over?

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I know what it is but I can't remember what it's called.

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It's Paolo Nutini, right?

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Yeah?

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SINGLE DRUMBEAT

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It's about stationery.

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Lead In My Pencil.

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Exactly.

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Lead In My Pencil.

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I'm back in the game!

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Here's how it should have sounded.

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INTRO "Lead In My Pencil" by Paolo Nutini

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The next intro, please!

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1, 2, 3, 4...

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# Ba-bom ba-ba-bom

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# Ba-bom ba-ba-bom

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-HIGH-PITCHED, ASCENDING:

-# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da...

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# ..bom-bom-bom...

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-HIGH-PITCHED, DESCENDING:

-# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da...

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# ..bom ba-bom-bom... #

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Is it...erm...

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Is it Grace Jones?

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Is it pardon?

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Is it Grace Jones?

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N-n-not as such.

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Oh, it's not, um... OK, it's not, then.

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We're throwing it over.

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It's Grandmaster Flash.

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It's either The Message or Rapper's Delight.

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So good!

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DRUM BEATS

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Here's how it should have sounded.

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INTRO "The Message" by Grandmaster Flash

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So that was Grandmaster Flash with The Message.

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Grandmaster Flash is the reason I got into hip-hop.

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If it wasn't for him, I could have been an assistant manager in a bank in Norwich.

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I'd probably have a company car by now.

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-Dr Noel.

-Hello.

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Because Uncle Phill had JLS,

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I've got something even better.

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I've got Pat Sharp!

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APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

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Russell!

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What happened to the mullet?!

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It was all business at the front and all party at the back!

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-Now it's all business!

-DRUM BEATS

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Pat's here to help you with the intros.

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-Come on, Pat.

-Here is your intros.

-Thank you.

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My pleasure.

0:14:550:14:57

You ready?

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1, 2, 3, 4...

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# Bloum, bloum

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# Bloum-bloum-bloum-bloum

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# Ahhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhh-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhh

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-# Wak-wa-wa Wa-wa-waaa...

-Mm-mm-mm... #

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Pat!

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# Ahhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhh-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhh... #

0:15:180:15:24

Come on, Pat, join in, man! It's your last chance to save your career!

0:15:240:15:27

-# Waaaaa-wa-wa-wa-wa...

-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM! #

0:15:270:15:32

Oh, wow. Sorry.

0:15:320:15:33

# Ahhhhhhhhhhh Ahhhhh-ah-ah-ah-ahhhhhhh... #

0:15:330:15:35

-That was a joke, Pat.

-SINGLE DRUMBEAT

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-I'm lost. I'm lost.

-Are we throwing it over?

0:15:390:15:41

-Let him have a guess!

-Let me have one guess.

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Let's Get Ready To Rumble!

0:15:440:15:45

Walsh knows.

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I think it's The Specials.

0:15:480:15:50

Ghost Town?

0:15:500:15:52

Yes! Oh, she's good!

0:15:520:15:53

She is good.

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This is how it should have sounded.

0:15:550:15:58

INTRO "Ghost Town" by The Specials

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-I should've known that, shouldn't I?

-Listen...

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# MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM-MM! #

0:16:090:16:12

Can we have the next intro, please?

0:16:140:16:17

-There you go.

-Thank you.

-You look like you're about to do a best man's speech.

0:16:170:16:22

I'm ready.

0:16:220:16:23

1, 2, 3, 4.

0:16:230:16:25

I'd like to thank you all for coming this afternoon, specially the bride,

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and the bridegroom, it's been an incredible day. We're all pissed and we're going home now. Thanks, bye.

0:16:290:16:35

1, 2, 3, 4.

0:16:410:16:43

-# Boo-boo-chh! Boo-boo-chh!

-BEEP!

0:16:430:16:46

-# Boo-boo-chh! Boo-boo-chh!

-BEEP!

0:16:460:16:49

-# Boo-boo-chh! Boo-boo-chh!

-BEEP!

0:16:490:16:51

-# Boo-boo-chh! Boo-boo-chh!

-BEEP!

0:16:510:16:54

-# Boo-boo-chh! Boo-boo-chh!

-BEEP!

0:16:540:16:56

-# Boo-boo-chh! Boo-boo-chh!

-BEEP! #

0:16:560:16:59

-Bass!

-# Mak-mak-ma!

0:16:590:17:02

It's not We Will Rock You, is it?

0:17:030:17:05

No. It could be in another lifetime.

0:17:050:17:08

We have got the three stages of Freddie Mercury here.

0:17:090:17:13

Hmmm... It's not Ant And Dec, is it?

0:17:130:17:17

OK. Are we going to pass it over?

0:17:190:17:22

We are passing it over.

0:17:220:17:23

Is it Cypress Hill?

0:17:230:17:26

You are so good, Holly, baby.

0:17:260:17:28

Insane In The Membrane.

0:17:280:17:30

Oh! She is so good! Here's how it should have sounded.

0:17:300:17:32

Make some noise for Holly!

0:17:320:17:34

INTRO "Insane In The Brain" by Cypress Hill

0:17:340:17:37

-# BEEP! #

-She's good if she got that. I'm not going to lie, she's good.

0:17:370:17:41

I'd like to say thank you to Pat Sharp.

0:17:410:17:43

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:17:430:17:45

Really good to see you, man.

0:17:450:17:47

-Good work.

-So that was Cypress Hill with Insane In The Brain.

0:17:490:17:54

We also heard Ghost Town by The Specials.

0:17:540:17:56

The band is still very relevant today.

0:17:560:17:58

Just ask Chris Moyles.

0:17:580:18:01

He loves hearing The Specials.

0:18:010:18:03

But then again, he loves most things on the menu.

0:18:030:18:07

LAUGHTER

0:18:070:18:10

NOEL: I like that joke.

0:18:100:18:12

No button for me.

0:18:120:18:14

I like Chris.

0:18:140:18:16

Really? SINGLE DRUMBEAT

0:18:160:18:19

-At the end of that round, Uncle Phill's team - 3!

-SINGLE DRUMBEAT

0:18:240:18:29

Dr Noel's team - 3!

0:18:290:18:32

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:18:320:18:35

Round Three is the Identity Parade. Uncle Phill,

0:18:400:18:44

what about some '70s progressive rock? For the audience only,

0:18:440:18:49

here is the Gordon Giltrap Band.

0:18:490:18:52

That was the Gordon Giltrap Band with Fear Of The Dark.

0:19:150:19:19

But which of our line-up is Gordon Giltrap?

0:19:190:19:23

Is it number one - Giltrap?

0:19:230:19:26

Number two - bear trap?

0:19:260:19:30

Number three - clap trap?

0:19:300:19:33

Number four - Von Trapp?

0:19:340:19:36

Or number five - shut your trap, I'm doing the ID Parade!

0:19:380:19:42

It's like a line-up for God!

0:19:450:19:47

KLAXON BLARES

0:19:490:19:50

Substitution, substitution, substitution!

0:19:500:19:52

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:520:19:55

I think they look like a line-up of Father Christmases.

0:19:590:20:02

If you got number three, you would feel ripped off!

0:20:020:20:05

-I think it's...

-You look like Luna from the Harry Potter books, "Hello!"

0:20:060:20:11

-Luna Lovegood?

-You read Harry Potter?

-I read the Harry Potter books.

0:20:110:20:15

-Do all of you?

-Just JB!

0:20:150:20:18

Can we throw it to JB to identify...

0:20:180:20:20

He can only identify number two. He is obsessed with Harry Potter.

0:20:200:20:23

This is the thing I wasn't expecting to find out,

0:20:230:20:26

that he, when he's supposed to be using his own brand of condoms to pleasure the groupies

0:20:260:20:31

is actually going, "Oh, no! Dumbledore, I can't believe you did that!"

0:20:310:20:35

Number one is just staring me out.

0:20:390:20:42

It's just straight at me, he hasn't blinked once.

0:20:430:20:46

I'm going to try and take him off you.

0:20:490:20:51

Let's... Sub in, sub in! Sub in the stare!

0:20:530:20:56

-I think we've got him. I think it's five.

-Yeah, I think it's five.

0:20:560:21:00

-Five actually...

-He looks like he's made a lot of money and had a lot of prosperity and wealth.

0:21:000:21:05

Well, number five, even if it's not you, sir,

0:21:050:21:07

those young men think highly of you!

0:21:070:21:09

Number five please, big dog.

0:21:100:21:12

Let's find out - would the real Gordon Giltrap please step forwards?

0:21:120:21:18

Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:180:21:20

With a joint album with Rick Wakeman out now,

0:21:240:21:27

Gordon Giltrap, ladies and gentlemen!

0:21:270:21:29

Rock on, dude!

0:21:300:21:33

-Dr Noel.

-Hello.

0:21:350:21:37

How about some '90s R&B?

0:21:370:21:40

For the audience only, here is Innocence.

0:21:400:21:44

# A natural thing

0:21:440:21:46

# I don't have to prove it

0:21:460:21:48

# A natural thing

0:21:480:21:51

# We're making out, we know we're right

0:21:510:21:53

# A natural thing

0:21:530:21:55

# Time is on our side

0:21:550:21:58

-# Coming on

-Keep coming on so strong. #

0:21:580:22:03

That was Innocence with Natural Thing.

0:22:030:22:05

But which of our line-up is singer Gee Morris?

0:22:050:22:10

Is it number one - Gee Morris?

0:22:100:22:13

Is it number two - F off.

0:22:130:22:16

Is it number three - Z-list?

0:22:160:22:20

Is it number four - C sharp?

0:22:200:22:23

Or is it number five - see Pat Sharp!

0:22:230:22:26

APPLAUSE

0:22:260:22:28

We've got to be sensible here, lads.

0:22:320:22:35

What do you mean - not pick number five?

0:22:350:22:38

It feels so right, though, to pick number five.

0:22:400:22:43

No matter what anyone says, I am going to say it's number five.

0:22:430:22:47

Russell, you've done plenty of duets in your time, haven't you?

0:22:480:22:52

-Yes, yes.

-Have you ever thought about teaming up with the king of grime?

0:22:520:22:56

-Yes.

-Dizzee Rascal.

-Yes.

0:22:560:22:58

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:22:580:23:00

Oooh!

0:23:000:23:02

SINGLE DRUMBEAT

0:23:020:23:04

-Would you do a...

-Four or two, it could be.

0:23:040:23:07

-What do you think?

-I think it's number five.

0:23:070:23:10

Would you do...

0:23:100:23:11

Believe it or not, back in 1999, I did a duet with Sean Ryder.

0:23:130:23:19

-Really?

-That was quite an experience.

0:23:190:23:21

I shouldn't say this, but I do occasionally do impersonations and...

0:23:210:23:27

-You do a Ryder?

-We actually... Yeah.

0:23:270:23:30

We actually struggled to get certain bits from him

0:23:300:23:32

so I did the vocals and his manager came up to us afterwards and he says,

0:23:320:23:38

"Tell you what - that's the best our Sean's sounded for about 10 years!"

0:23:380:23:43

Do Nessun Dorma as Sean Ryder.

0:23:450:23:47

I'll be Bez.

0:23:470:23:48

So it'll be something like -

0:23:550:23:56

-MANCUNIAN ACCENT:

-# Nessun dorma, nessun dorma

0:23:560:24:02

# Tu pure, o Principessa

0:24:020:24:07

# Nella tua fredda stanza. #

0:24:070:24:11

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:110:24:13

Fantastic.

0:24:160:24:17

-Can we make a positive decision here?

-Five.

0:24:180:24:22

Are you... No, that weren't positive.

0:24:220:24:25

-Let's be sensible.

-All right.

0:24:260:24:28

-It's either four or two.

-Or five.

0:24:280:24:31

-Can I just remind you of the scores at this stage?

-Yeah, what are the scores?

0:24:340:24:37

-You are one behind.

-Really?

0:24:370:24:39

OK, number five.

0:24:390:24:41

It's what we call in the business an insistent gag.

0:24:430:24:45

It needs your button.

0:24:470:24:49

SINGLE DRUMBEAT

0:24:490:24:50

Number four!

0:24:500:24:52

-Are we saying four?

-Yeah, we are.

0:24:520:24:54

Let's find out. Would the real Gee Morris please put her best foot forward?

0:24:540:25:00

Go on, Pat!

0:25:020:25:04

Go on, Pat!

0:25:040:25:05

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:060:25:09

And we're all looking forward to her new material -

0:25:120:25:15

out soon, probably next year.

0:25:150:25:16

Gee Morris, ladies and gentlemen.

0:25:160:25:18

So we end with Next Lines.

0:25:230:25:26

Noel's team, you are first!

0:25:260:25:29

SINGLE DRUMBEAT

0:25:290:25:30

And your time starts now.

0:25:300:25:33

Here's a little song I wrote.

0:25:330:25:38

You might want to sing it note for note.

0:25:350:25:38

Insane in the membrane.

0:25:380:25:42

Insane in the brain.

0:25:400:25:42

Interview on the TV, I'm laughing.

0:25:420:25:45

WILEY MUMBLES QUIETLY

0:25:450:25:47

Is this one yours?

0:25:490:25:50

All right. Interview on the TV, I'm laughing...

0:25:500:25:53

Interview on the TV, I'm laughing.

0:25:530:25:56

Might see me...uh...

0:25:560:25:59

I missed my own song, you're... Killing Me Softly!

0:25:590:26:02

-Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

-Yes!

0:26:020:26:04

-I'll make your...

-I'll make your household laugh when I do my casting.

0:26:040:26:09

Wiley with MJ Cole From The Drop.

0:26:090:26:12

Barcelona!

0:26:120:26:16

It was the first time that we met.

0:26:130:26:16

Number five, Pat Sharp.

0:26:160:26:18

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

0:26:180:26:20

Phill's team, you need four points to win,

0:26:210:26:24

three points to draw or two points to lose.

0:26:240:26:28

OK. Thanks for doing that. I'm going to play two subs now.

0:26:280:26:34

-KLAXON BLARES

-Can I sit in the middle?

0:26:340:26:36

I'm really shit at this, by the way.

0:26:400:26:42

Your time starts now.

0:26:430:26:45

-Is that your thing, to wear the hat?

-Yeah, do you like it?

0:26:450:26:48

-Yeah, I just didn't realise that was a thing.

-Oh, yeah.

0:26:480:26:51

-You know, it just gets me girls, you know?

-Really?

0:26:510:26:54

-WILEY:

-What's going on over there?

0:26:540:26:56

This is like every bus stop I was ever in.

0:26:560:26:58

I said, a hip-hop.

0:27:060:27:09

-ALL:

-Hip-hop.

0:27:080:27:09

The hippie to the hip, hip-hop.

0:27:090:27:11

You don't stop, you rock it to the bang bang...

0:27:110:27:13

Sugarhill Gang, Rapper's Delight.

0:27:130:27:15

Do you remember the good old days?

0:27:150:27:20

No.

0:27:180:27:20

The Specials, Ghost Town.

0:27:210:27:23

Day two, I can't help but think of you.

0:27:230:27:26

-Day two, can't...

-Was the same as day two. Day four, I fell in love with you.

0:27:260:27:30

-Thank you. But what happened to day three?

-Day three was the same as day two.

0:27:300:27:34

Oh, I though you were just saying that. JLS, Love You More.

0:27:340:27:37

Day four, I fell in love with you.

0:27:370:27:42

Day five, you spent it with me.

0:27:400:27:42

Sixth day, knocked me off my feet. Day seven...

0:27:420:27:44

You're taking my questions! JLS, Love You More.

0:27:440:27:47

-KLAXON BLARES

-Oh, change over. Sub, sub, sub!

0:27:470:27:49

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:490:27:52

-END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

-Let's go, team. Oh!

0:27:530:27:56

The final scores -

0:28:000:28:01

-Uncle Phill's team - eight, sir.

-Thank you.

0:28:010:28:05

Dr Noel's team -

0:28:070:28:09

-seven.

-Oh, no!

0:28:090:28:11

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:110:28:14

Thanks to Uncle Phill, Holly and JLS.

0:28:170:28:19

Not forgetting Dr Noel, Russell and my man, Wiley.

0:28:230:28:26

And, of course, number five - Pat Sharp!

0:28:260:28:29

This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

0:28:320:28:34

We're out of here. One.

0:28:340:28:36

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0:29:000:29:03

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