Episode 7 Never Mind the Buzzcocks


Episode 7

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Transcript


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-I'm looking forward to the host this week.

-So excited. I love Alice Cooper.

-Look! What an entrance!

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-He's a genius.

-Ohh.

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Hey, guys, you know where the nearest drop-off station for this thing is?

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White City.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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'Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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'My name is Alice Cooper. Welcome to my nightmare.'

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THUNDER BOOMS

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-Sit down! Sit down!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Time to get down to serious stuff.

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With team captain Noel Fielding tonight...

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# I just want you to dance...

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He's the X Factor star who you the public overwhelmingly decided

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wasn't as good as some guy called Joe McElderry. It's Olly Murs.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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He's a man who performed as Cheryl Cole on Let's Dance.

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In order to truly perfect the impression,

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he contracted malaria and assaulted a toilet attendant. It's Rufus Hound.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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And across the way with captain Phil Jupitus...

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He's a rapper and MC who when deciding on a name,

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followed strict instructions that it contain at least eight characters

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including one uppercase letter and two numbers.

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-It's Wretch 32.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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And she's a presenter who's best known for appearing on breakfast TV.

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Breakfast TV. So that's on at, what, two in the afternoon?

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-It's Penny Smith.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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So we begin with Tonight We're Going To Party Like It's Insert Relevant Date Here.

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We show each team a video montage from a particular year.

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They have to guess the year and I'll ask them a question related to that year.

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Phil's team, look at this and tell me what year it's from.

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# Bye-bye, baby, baby, goodbye

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# Bye-bye, baby, don't make me cry

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# I am sailing

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# Stormy waters

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# So when you're near me, darling, can't you hear me, SOS

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# The love you gave me...

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-So what year was that?

-What year did you break six ribs when you fell off a stage?

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All six ribs right here. 28 stitches and I finished the show.

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Was that the first ever leap into the audience that anybody ever did?

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The first stage dive, and the audience didn't know what you did? "What's he doing?"

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-Yes. I bled all over everybody, it was great.

-And normally a rock star would be spilling different fluids.

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-I like to keep my blood. And yours.

-LAUGHTER

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The Bay City Rollers. I liked that the drummer's got his name written all the way down.

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When you're that good a drummer and number one every week

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because a lot of young girls have been misinformed...

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-LAUGHTER I like tartan!

-Why wasn't there a lot more Moira Anderson in the charts?

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-I was struggling to remember the name of any other Scottish artist.

-Lorraine Kelly.

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-Lorraine Kelly? Does she ask about me?

-Every time I see her.

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-I still think of her every time I wax my legs.

-LAUGHTER

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-You wax your legs?

-Oh, yeah.

-LAUGHTER

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-Did I just look round at a grime artist and go, "Oh, yeah"?

-Yeah.

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-You wax your legs on this show.

-Try that again.

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-You wax your legs?

-True dat.

-LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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This picture of ABBA looks like they've been shipwrecked

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-and then they've gone, "There's a helicopter! Help us!"

-LAUGHTER

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Actually, ABBA are only three inches tall and that's a normal photographer

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-taking a photo of them. They're on a beach and that's grains of sand.

-LAUGHTER

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-You're stalling. What year was it?

-75 is our final answer.

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-Yes. It is 75.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Why did my buddy David Bowie break into a psychiatric ward in that year?

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I met David Bowie. I even spoke to him.

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Well, actually, I saw him at a party and I reversed into him and said, "Sorry".

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-Were you in a car?

-LAUGHTER

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-Were you doing a driving test? Was he in his Labyrinth outfit?

-Ohh!

-Love that outfit.

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-Great film.

-That was a good look.

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It'd be great if you bumped into him and he went, "You'll never find your little baby".

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Then I spoke to Dustin Hoffman, as well. Well, I did the same thing and reversed into him.

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-Do you walk backwards?

-LAUGHTER

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-So David Bowie tried to break into a mental home?

-Most people try to get out, he breaks in.

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-I think he forgot his key.

-LAUGHTER

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-LAUGHTER

-He needed drugs.

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-Absolutely not.

-I've got it. He was in the A-Team that week and he had to get Murdock out.

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-He needed a helicopter.

-No.

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There were people in there he knew and those people were famous. It was you.

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-No.

-LAUGHTER

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-He had a lust for life, though.

-ALL: Iggy Pop!

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-Oh, what?

-He tried to break in to get Iggy Pop out.

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So he could give him a quote on his car insurance.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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I grew up with Iggy Pop in Detroit and Iggy Pop's the last person that you would need for insurance.

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He was the most dangerous human being on the planet. I gave him a switch blade once and he says "Oh"

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and starts hacking himself up, walks through the audience, they put peanut butter all over it.

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-I finally had to take him to the hospital. But that was Detroit.

-LAUGHTER

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-Imagine how bad it would've been if he'd also had a peanut allergy!

-LAUGHTER

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In 1975, David Bowie broke into a psychiatric ward

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-with Dennis Hopper to deliver drugs to Iggy Pop.

-LAUGHTER

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-What a wingman!

-They had to break in because a sure-fire way to get committed

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is to turn up at a psychiatric ward and say, "It's Ziggy Stardust and Dennis Hopper,

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-"we're here to see Mr Pop."

-LAUGHTER

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Noel's team, take a look at this and for bonus points, tell me what year it's from.

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# Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend

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# No way, no way, I think you need a new one

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# Beautiful girl

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# That's why it'll never work

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# You had me suicidal

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# Gotta be green, gotta be mean, gotta be everything more

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# Why don't you like me, why don't you like me?

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# Walk out the door

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-Hm.

-Hm. What year was that?

-What happened to Mika?

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He's in my basement tied to a radiator.

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-He can have food, but he's making no music ever again.

-LAUGHTER

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It's awful, cos he just keeps rocking backwards and forwards going,

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-"Why don't you like me? Why don't you like me?"

-LAUGHTER

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Avril Lavigne there, as well. Does anybody ever see Avril Lavigne without, erm...

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-..just wanting to rip out her face?

-LAUGHTER

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-Ohh.

-She did the whole thing where it was like,

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"I'm from a sub-culture, I'm from a sub-culture"

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and the moment that album didn't sell, she went, "I've got a lovely frock on. I'm Celine Dion."

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-No, you're not, you're a waste of skin.

-LAUGHTER

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I just sense that someone here has been ignored in a chat room by Avril Lavigne.

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-Yeah.

-Like you wanted to get that off your chest for a long time.

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I don't understand her I went past the Hammersmith Apollo and there was a queue outside

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and Avril Lavigne was on. I thought, "If everyone in there died, no-one would cry".

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LAUGHTER

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-APPLAUSE

-I was in the queue.

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LAUGHTER

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What year? It wasn't that long ago. It said something about Led Zeppelin reforming.

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-You were pretty for that, weren't you?

-I can't say too much about that year. I remember parts of it.

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-LAUGHTER

-You guys must know this.

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-You know, don't you?

-2007, maybe? What do you reckon?

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Don't ask him! He's insane!

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-LAUGHTER

-Final answer?

-2007.

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2007. It's right.

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Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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It was 2007.

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But how did the police upset my fellow hell-raiser Ozzy Osbourne in that year?

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Did they insist on the rectal examination?

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-No, that would've been OK with him, I think.

-LAUGHTER

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I can see him now. He's that absent-minded... "Sharon! Is that you?"

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LAUGHTER

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-This probably should've happened to Sting.

-It's a clue.

-They gave him the electric chair?

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-LAUGHTER

-Does nobody know this?

-No.

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In 2007, police in North Dakota sent invitations for a fake Ozzy after-party

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to over 500 known criminals who were arrested on arrival.

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-It was a sting operation.

-ALL: Ahhh!

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UK police employed a similar tactic recently and arrested 40 paedophiles

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when they turned up at a fake Justin Bieber party.

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-LAUGHTER

-People are watching this and you go, "ped-ophile"

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-and they go, "Ooh, glamorous".

-LAUGHTER

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People who do PR for paedophiles are going, "Hey, that's right, let's bring a bit of glamour to this!"

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-"Ped-ophile doesn't sound so bad!"

-LAUGHTER

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At the end of that round, Noel's team has one, Phil's team has two!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Next up, a special rock-themed Intros round.

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Noel and Olly, here are yours for Rufus.

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-I feel weird.

-If it's any consolation, you kind of look weird.

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Yeah, I know. I might perch.

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-Are you ready for this?

-Hang on, I'm just shitting out a pellet.

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LAUGHTER

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THEY IMITATE GUITAR AND PERCUSSION

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, er... It's not a good version of that.

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-A Little Less Conversation.

-Yes!

-Yes.

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-Yes, yes, yes.

-Huh! Huh! Huh! APPLAUSE

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You are right and this is how it should have sounded.

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MUSIC: "A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis Presley vs JXL

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-All right, fine.

-LAUGHTER

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So that was Elvis vs JXL with A Little Less Conversation.

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-Now I met Elvis in 1970.

-Oh, wow.

-I got a thing that said, "Elvis wants to meet you".

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I got to the Hilton Hotel, the elevator opened up and it was me,

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Liza Minnelli, Chubby Checker and Linda Lovelace.

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-Wow.

-Wow!

-What, you'd come together or you just happened to be in that lift?

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-He invited those four people.

-Really?

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We went up and they searched us for guns, which was silly cos there were guns everywhere once you got in.

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When he came in the room, he was Elvis. He wasn't the fat Elvis, he was Elvis.

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He was the guy. He goes, "Hey, man, you're that cat with the snake, ain't you?" I said, "Yeah."

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He goes, "That's cool, man. I wish I would've thought of that. Here, I want to show you something"

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And we go in the kitchen, he opens the drawer, takes out a loaded snub-nosed .38,

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puts it in my hand and he says,

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"I'm going to show you how to take this gun out of somebody's hand."

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The little devil here on my shoulder says, "Shoot him."

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LAUGHTER

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-The little angel over here says, "Don't kill him, just wound him."

-LAUGHTER

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Before I could decide what to do, I was on the floor

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and he had his boot in my throat and I go, "That's good, Elvis."

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LAUGHTER

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I'm still reeling over the fact that you were there with Liza Minnelli. He must've thought you were sisters.

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-LAUGHTER

-Of course, only three of us came down on the elevator that night.

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-Now, I don't know what he did with Chubby Checker all night.

-LAUGHTER

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I tell you what, he was an amazing character. A very funny guy.

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But he was Elvis. I mean, you know...

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Noel and Olly, stand by for your next one.

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Let's do it.

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OLLY IMITATES ELECTRIC GUITAR

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NOEL IMITATES DRUMS

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-Owwww.

-LAUGHTER

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-I made that last bit up, to be fair.

-LAUGHTER

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OLLY IMITATES ELECTRIC GUITAR

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-Stop doing that!

-LAUGHTER

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It's the number one stripper song in the world.

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-THEY IMITATE GUITAR AND DRUMS

-The singer is really sexy.

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-Poison!

-Yes!

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-APPLAUSE

-It must have been that clue about the singer is really sexy, right?

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-That was the clue.

-Here's how it should have sounded.

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MUSIC: "Poison" by Alice Cooper

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# You're cruel...

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-Yeah!

-Yes! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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That was me with Poison. I wrote this song when my poisons were alcohol and class-A drugs.

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Nowadays, the most exciting thing that happens to me is a birdie on a par four

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and an occasional erection.

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LAUGHTER

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Which I'm having right now. Phil and Wretch, here are yours for Penny.

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Yep. Be upstanding.

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It's got a really terrible introduction

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but the end bit's the key bit, so we'll focus on that.

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-So it sort of goes...

-LAUGHTER

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PHIL IMITATES ELECTRIC GUITAR

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THEY IMITATE GUITAR AND PERCUSSION

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Oh!

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-LAUGHTER Is it Whitesnake?

-No.

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LAUGHTER Give me a clue.

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Yeah, I tell you what, I'll do the introduction.

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HE IMITATES GUITAR Down, down, give it around.

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-Is it Status Quo?

-It's not words. It's not words.

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-It's not words.

-Kylie Minogue.

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-It's a rock-themed round!

-Oh. Sorry. LAUGHTER

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-All right, Noel.

-I wasn't even listening.

-LAUGHTER

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-Sounded like Oh What A Night.

-That's what I was thinking!

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# Bam-bam-bam, oh, what a night

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ALL: # Late December back in 63

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-It's not that.

-All right, here comes the answer.

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Guns 'N Roses, Welcome To The Jungle.

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This is how it should've sounded.

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-MUSIC: "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns N' Roses

-See? Yeah.

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No.

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-Where's that bit? Whoooo!

-Why didn't you do that bit?

-Because it sucks!

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-You're just basically doing your own intro for that.

-LAUGHTER

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I didn't really like that bit, Slash, so we're just going to change that.

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He once came on the show and we were pestering him to tell us anecdotes about Guns N' Roses

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and I went, "Come on, you must have had some amazing gigs" and he went, "One time we played in London

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-"and my hat melted."

-LAUGHTER

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That was Guns N' Roses, Welcome To The Jungle.

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Slash says he once ran naked and bleeding through a high-class golf resort.

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He eventually collapsed face-down and created the trickiest hole I've ever had to play in my life.

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-LAUGHTER

-Slash, though, was not the first to wear a top hat.

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-Abraham Lincoln.

-LAUGHTER

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-APPLAUSE

-He did his thing.

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-All right, next one, please, Phil and Wretch.

-Is this a rock one?

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-LAUGHTER

-No, no, no, don't worry, don't worry.

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-Don't vex me! Don't vex me!

-LAUGHTER

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-I'll tell you what, we'll do it where the vocal comes in.

-OK!

-Can we do that? OK.

-Yeah.

0:16:470:16:52

THEY IMITATE GUITAR

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I thought you said you were going to do the vocal bit. LAUGHTER

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-I had the fucking singer here, I thought he might pitch in.

-LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

0:17:130:17:16

Still don't know it? No clues?

0:17:190:17:22

HE SINGS MELODY

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-Oh, come on!

-It's Alice Cooper!

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-Yes!

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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-You don't know the song, do you?

-What is the answer?

0:17:380:17:41

-You must know. This is killing me. You're going to have to leave the show now.

-Really?

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-School's Out.

-School's Out! I know that one!

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-Apparently you don't!

-And here's how it should've sounded.

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MUSIC: "School's Out" by Alice Cooper

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I know that one!

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Dancing like that.

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That was me with School's Out. My songs are often misinterpreted.

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For example, School's Out is really to tell kids to start their revision planners.

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LAUGHTER

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-Muscle Of Love is about a romantic oyster.

-LAUGHTER

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And Welcome To My Nightmare is a cautionary tale about eating cheese in the evening.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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It's all true. And at the end of that round, Phil's team has two

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-and Noel's team has four.

-Yes!

0:18:370:18:39

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:18:390:18:43

Round three is the Identity Parade

0:18:430:18:46

and this week it's from my world of shock rock.

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Phil, Wretch and Penny, how about some British grindcore?

0:18:480:18:52

For the audience only, here is Napalm Death.

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MUSIC: "Silence Is Deafening" by Napalm Death

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That was Napalm Death with Silence Is Deafening.

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I actually like the Carpenters version better.

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Which of our line-up is lead shouter Mark Greenway?

0:19:160:19:20

Is it number one, Napalm Death?

0:19:200:19:23

Number two, Black Death?

0:19:230:19:26

Number three, Bored to Death?

0:19:260:19:29

Number four, Looks Like Death?

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Or number five, Career Death After Big Brother Ten?

0:19:310:19:35

LAUGHTER

0:19:350:19:37

-I'm going to get number four to explain the plot of Lost to me.

-LAUGHTER

0:19:370:19:41

APPLAUSE

0:19:410:19:45

-Number one's got a flamingo trying to escape out of his head.

-LAUGHTER

0:19:450:19:49

-I like those mutton chops.

-Number five, get those Adamantium claws out, you've pulled.

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-LAUGHTER

-I would say three, cos three's my lucky number,

0:19:540:19:58

-but he doesn't look like he can see or hear us.

-LAUGHTER

0:19:580:20:02

-Yo.

-LAUGHTER

0:20:020:20:04

-Final answer.

-I saw this band at the Download Festival I think five years ago and it's number two.

0:20:040:20:11

Let's find out. Would the real Mark Greenway please step forward?

0:20:110:20:16

Yeah! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:160:20:18

Still touring and recording with Napalm Death, Mark Greenway, ladies and gentlemen.

0:20:200:20:25

-I'll see you out on the road somewhere.

-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:20:250:20:29

Noel, Olly and Rufus, something a little different for you.

0:20:310:20:34

For the audience only, here is me performing live on the BBC in 1971

0:20:340:20:39

with a reptile friend of mine.

0:20:390:20:41

# Is it my body?

0:20:410:20:44

# Or something I might be?

0:20:450:20:48

# Or something inside me?

0:20:500:20:53

# You better tell me

0:20:530:20:55

# Tell me

0:20:560:20:58

# It's really up to you

0:20:580:21:01

# Have you got the time to find out

0:21:030:21:07

# Who I really am?

0:21:070:21:11

All right, that was me in this very studio in 1971.

0:21:110:21:15

OK, I was a little drunk at the time.

0:21:150:21:17

But which of our Alice Coopers through the ages

0:21:170:21:20

is holding the breed of snake that I use in my live show?

0:21:200:21:23

Is it number one, Alice Cooper?

0:21:230:21:26

-Number two, Tommy Cooper?

-LAUGHTER

0:21:270:21:31

-Number three, Mini Cooper?

-LAUGHTER

0:21:310:21:35

-Number four, Hangin' With Mr Cooper?

-LAUGHTER

0:21:350:21:38

-Or number five, Pooper Cooper?

-LAUGHTER

0:21:380:21:42

-I have to say...

-That is just bonkers.

-..I don't think I'm ever going to sleep again.

0:21:420:21:47

-LAUGHTER

-If we don't hurry up, I'm pretty sure number three's going to die.

0:21:470:21:51

-LAUGHTER

-Take a close look.

0:21:510:21:55

Shall we have a look? Cos I think you used a reticulated python or a boa constrictor.

0:21:550:21:59

-I thought you had a boa, which would be number three.

-Or a reticulated python.

0:21:590:22:04

-Hello, cheeky!

-Oh, Jesus.

-That's a big snake.

0:22:040:22:08

-Is it a big snake or is it just a perspective thing?

-LAUGHTER

0:22:080:22:11

That looks like a boa constrictor. I think that's a milk snake or a corn snake.

0:22:110:22:16

-Get you, reptile watch!

-Yeah! Terry Nutkins can kiss my ass!

-LAUGHTER

0:22:160:22:21

-Don't whoop Terry Nutkins, you freak!

-LAUGHTER

0:22:210:22:24

-Oh, it is Terry. All right, Terry?

-LAUGHTER

0:22:240:22:27

-Noel, one of them is going to go for you, they think you're a buzzard.

-LAUGHTER

0:22:270:22:32

These ones look all right. I'm not scared of these ones much. I'm not going to touch it, though.

0:22:320:22:37

-What was the snake called, Alice?

-I had Boa Derek and I had Julius Squeezer.

0:22:370:22:42

-All right, take your seats.

-You'd want a big snake, so it's got to be a boa.

0:22:420:22:48

-Or number five?

-No, look, we're talking Alice Motherfucking Cooper here.

0:22:480:22:52

-I know.

-He's not walking out with a corn snake, is he?

-No.

0:22:520:22:56

-# School's out for summer

-LAUGHTER

0:22:560:22:58

Stop it!

0:22:580:23:00

-Final answer.

-We think it's number...

-NOEL SCREAMS

0:23:000:23:03

It's a feather! LAUGHTER

0:23:030:23:06

I've just given you a feather back. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:23:060:23:09

I thought you'd produced a snake out of your denim jacket!

0:23:090:23:13

-HE SCREAMS

-Sorry, I am on mushrooms.

0:23:130:23:18

LAUGHTER

0:23:180:23:19

-Good to know that when flustered, Noel becomes a Victorian lady!

-LAUGHTER

0:23:190:23:24

Noel's team, which number?

0:23:240:23:26

-Is it number three?

-Would the real snake please make themselves known?

0:23:260:23:31

Yay! APPLAUSE

0:23:310:23:34

Wow. That's impressive.

0:23:340:23:37

That's a baby. Now here's what happened to me. I had a snake twice that size

0:23:370:23:41

He swallowed a heating pad.

0:23:410:23:44

He thought that it was part of his dinner. He ate the whole heating pad.

0:23:440:23:48

There's an electric cord coming out of his mouth plugged into the wall.

0:23:480:23:52

So I called up the doctor and said, "What do I do?" He said, "Well, first, unplug him."

0:23:520:23:57

He said, "Don't try to pull the cord out cos you'll pull his stomach out."

0:23:570:24:00

So he said, "Just clip the cord and see if he can digest it."

0:24:000:24:04

It's a heating pad, it's that big. Two days later, we realised he wasn't going to digest it

0:24:040:24:08

so we took him in, they cut him open, took the heating pad out,

0:24:080:24:12

sewed him back up and he's in a petting zoo now.

0:24:120:24:15

-So there's a nice ending to that story.

-ALL: Aww.

0:24:150:24:19

APPLAUSE

0:24:190:24:22

Now hosting BBC pop quizzes, Alice Cooper, ladies and gentlemen.

0:24:220:24:27

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:270:24:30

And at the end of that round, Phil's team has three,

0:24:330:24:36

Noel's team has five.

0:24:360:24:38

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:380:24:41

In my time, I've always placed great stock on image and shock factor,

0:24:430:24:47

so we end with a round that looks at some of the craziest album covers in music history.

0:24:470:24:52

I'll show you a cover with the title blurred out

0:24:520:24:54

and all you have to do is guess the title. Noel's team are in the lead so you go first.

0:24:540:24:59

And your time starts...now.

0:24:590:25:03

What's Swamp Dogg selling here?

0:25:030:25:05

-Mouse Jockeys.

-LAUGHTER

0:25:050:25:08

Albino Rat Cyclist Celebration.

0:25:080:25:12

-Ooh, is it The World's Unlikeliest Pearly King...On A Big White Mouse?

-LAUGHTER

0:25:120:25:20

-The answer is Rat On!

-ALL: Ahh. LAUGHTER

0:25:200:25:24

What album is William Hung pedalling here?

0:25:240:25:27

LAUGHTER William Hung Like A Horse?

0:25:270:25:30

-Hung Like Tinsel.

-LAUGHTER

0:25:300:25:34

What do they call Christmas to kind of include everything?

0:25:340:25:37

-Holiday.

-Almost!

-Hung For The Holidays.

-Yes.

0:25:370:25:40

-Hung For The Holidays.

-APPLAUSE

0:25:400:25:43

-Great album.

-LAUGHTER

0:25:430:25:45

-What's the name of this album from Jerry Butler?

-I Seem To Be Inside My Own Drink.

0:25:450:25:50

-LAUGHTER Ice Man.

-Ice Man is close.

0:25:500:25:55

-The Ice Man Cometh.

-The Ice Man Cometh.

-APPLAUSE

0:25:550:25:58

Who has Paddy Roberts written songs for?

0:25:580:26:02

-Aww.

-That's weird.

-It's Songs For Gay Dogs.

0:26:020:26:05

-Yes! That is the right answer!

-It is!

0:26:050:26:08

APPLAUSE

0:26:080:26:11

-You're going to love this one. What's the title of this Scorpions offering?

-Hubba Bubba Tit Stretch.

0:26:110:26:17

LAUGHTER

0:26:170:26:20

It's called Love Drive. It doesn't make any sense at all.

0:26:200:26:24

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:240:26:27

All right, Phil's team, you need six points to win and your time starts...now.

0:26:270:26:33

What was the offering from The Handsome Beasts called?

0:26:330:26:36

-It's Bacon Week With The Hairy Bikers.

-LAUGHTER

0:26:360:26:39

-Makin' Bacon.

-That would be a great title, but it's not it.

0:26:390:26:43

-I'm A Pig, Get Me Out Of Here?

-Beastiality.

-Nice.

0:26:430:26:47

-How about this album from Aphex Twin?

-Ahh.

-I've Got Something On My Chest.

0:26:470:26:52

-Ah, nice!

-The answer is the unlikely Windowlicker.

0:26:520:26:57

What does the ESP stand for in Millie Jackson's ESP?

0:26:570:27:00

Extra Sexual Perception.

0:27:000:27:03

-Ooh, so close.

-Extra Sexual Persuasion.

-That's it.

-Nice!

0:27:030:27:06

-That is right.

-She's got nice kneecaps.

0:27:060:27:09

LAUGHTER

0:27:090:27:11

What is the title of my new album?

0:27:110:27:14

-Alice Cooper Loves Kittens.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:140:27:17

There was another album called this.

0:27:170:27:19

-Really?

-One of my albums was called this.

0:27:190:27:23

-Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits 2.

-No. Think scarier.

0:27:230:27:25

IN SPOOKY VOICE: Alice Cooper's Greatest Hits 2.

0:27:250:27:28

In 1975, I had Welcome To My Nightmare.

0:27:280:27:32

-This is Welcome 2 My Nightmare.

-Welcome...

0:27:320:27:35

-All: Ahhh!

-It's so damn clever, it's amazing.

0:27:350:27:39

LAUGHTER

0:27:390:27:41

APPLAUSE

0:27:410:27:44

So at the end of that, in second place with four is Phil's team.

0:27:460:27:50

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Well done.

0:27:500:27:53

This week's winner is Noel's team with eight!

0:27:530:27:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:550:27:59

Thanks to Phil, Wretch 32 and Penny, Noel, Olly and Rufus.

0:28:010:28:05

I've been Alice Cooper and so have these guys. Take it away, fellas!

0:28:050:28:10

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:100:28:13

MUSIC: "School's Out" by Alice Cooper

0:28:130:28:16

ALL: # School's out for summer

0:28:190:28:24

# School's out forever

0:28:270:28:32

# School's been blown to pieces

0:28:340:28:40

# School's out completely

0:28:410:28:48

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:28:480:28:52

Good night!

0:28:520:28:54

-If he squeezes, I become a girl right now.

-LAUGHTER

0:28:560:29:00

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