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This programme contains strong language.

0:00:020:00:06

-Previously:

-I'm executive of my mother's estate and it would mean the world if I could

0:00:060:00:10

set up a college fund for the girls, if for no other reason than taxes.

0:00:100:00:13

Ladies, this is Sam. He's our new RN.

0:00:130:00:16

You know, I dismissed him because he was whacked out on benzos.

0:00:160:00:19

He successfully completed a rehabilitation programme.

0:00:190:00:21

I have a stack of glowing recommendations on my desk.

0:00:210:00:24

Can we get something straight right now?

0:00:240:00:26

-You and I are not buddies.

-If you say so.

0:00:260:00:28

-You missed one.

-It doesn't matter. The sun's going to explode and eat up all the other planets anyways.

0:00:280:00:33

-Wow, that's nice.

-It's the ring I could never afford to give her. Still can't.

0:00:330:00:38

How am I supposed to know?

0:00:380:00:40

He wears a big fucking bracelet that says "I am diabetic".

0:00:400:00:44

-I need to lodge a formal complaint against a nurse.

-Super.

0:00:440:00:47

-What do we got?

-Jackie, really, go.

0:00:470:00:50

MOBILE PHONE BUZZES

0:02:060:02:08

Goodness, that took a long time. I was using an iron that was not plugged in.

0:02:590:03:03

Fiona says Grace has been getting up at night and unplugging appliances.

0:03:030:03:08

Is that true?

0:03:080:03:10

Faulty wiring causes more house fires than cigarettes and arson combined.

0:03:100:03:13

Where'd you hear that?

0:03:130:03:14

This is the best smoke detector they make.

0:03:180:03:20

It's also a carbon monoxide detector.

0:03:200:03:23

-I've been saving my allowance to buy it.

-Sweetie, thank you.

0:03:270:03:32

But your allowance is for fun things like toys and stickers. Here, sit down, sweetie. Eat your breakfast.

0:03:320:03:37

Hey, Gracie, let Mom and Dad worry about smoke detectors, OK?

0:03:370:03:41

Put your money away.

0:03:410:03:43

I just don't want the house to burn down.

0:03:430:03:45

Wow. You know, the number one ingredient in hotdogs is cancer.

0:04:100:04:14

I partied like a 20-year-old last night.

0:04:210:04:24

Managed to score some grade A ecstasy.

0:04:240:04:27

Dvornoff in Psych told me it would only last six hours and it's been nine!

0:04:270:04:33

Still going strong.

0:04:330:04:36

You know...

0:04:360:04:38

I think my mother's death ripped something open in me.

0:04:380:04:41

You have wonderful daughters, Jacks. Cherish them.

0:04:430:04:47

I will. Oh, my goodness.

0:04:470:04:49

Do they know I'm their Godmum yet?

0:04:490:04:52

Well, as it turns out I have not had that conversation.

0:04:520:04:55

Just call them. Call them.

0:04:550:04:58

And then let's all go to the St Regis for lunch, just us girls. Huh?

0:04:580:05:02

-The girls are in school.

-Oh, we'll yank them out.

0:05:020:05:05

Love is more important than reading.

0:05:050:05:07

-Maybe I'll catch a taxi and then go. No-one will notice.

-Right now?

0:05:070:05:11

-No. You're staying right here. Do not go anywhere. Stay right here.

-Taxi!

0:05:110:05:15

You're here. Stay here.

0:05:150:05:17

Hey, guys.

0:05:280:05:30

Was that a walk of shame?

0:05:360:05:39

-I don't want to know.

-Do we think Zoey got her pipes cleaned?

-Dargh!

0:05:390:05:43

It's like seeing Santa naked.

0:05:430:05:45

It's not right.

0:05:450:05:47

I think we did!

0:05:470:05:49

-That's paper.

-Oh.

0:05:490:05:52

Hi. You the parents? What can I do for you?

0:05:550:05:58

It's our son Harry. He has a history of breathing problems.

0:05:580:06:01

Our paediatrician said it could be cystic fibrosis.

0:06:010:06:04

We scheduled a sweat test to be sure but it isn't for another month.

0:06:040:06:08

He woke up choking. Could you help him?

0:06:080:06:10

Sure. Harry, my name is Jackie.

0:06:100:06:13

Can I listen to your chest? OK.

0:06:130:06:16

Well, it's restricted but he's definitely getting some air.

0:06:180:06:21

Harry, do you like colouring books?

0:06:210:06:24

-I'll get you some colouring books and I'll have a doctor come and take a look, OK?

-I don't like doctors.

0:06:240:06:30

Yeah, me neither. Lennox Hill has newer equipment but we can certainly

0:06:300:06:33

-bundle him up and give him a sweat test here if you like.

-That...

0:06:330:06:38

-That that would be great.

-OK. Just sit tight.

0:06:380:06:40

I'll take care of that.

0:06:400:06:41

Dr Cooper will be right in.

0:06:410:06:43

Argh! Oh, my God! Dr O'Hara, I'm so sorry.

0:06:520:06:55

Zoey, ma petite fleur.

0:06:550:06:58

Zoey, get back to work.

0:06:580:07:01

-But she's...

-Come here. You come with me.

0:07:010:07:03

Dear Dr O'Hara,

0:07:080:07:10

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the lovely scarf.

0:07:100:07:14

Ooh, stationery and stamps.

0:07:140:07:17

Mm, stamps!

0:07:170:07:19

There are little hearts there.

0:07:190:07:21

Hey, Jackie, Dr O'Hara.

0:07:210:07:23

-Hello.

-Can I help?

0:07:230:07:25

No, we are good.

0:07:250:07:29

Isn't your accent London with a touch of Sussex, right?

0:07:290:07:33

-Indeed.

-I spent my junior year in England. I'm kind of an anglophile.

0:07:330:07:36

How convenient, I'm an anglo.

0:07:360:07:39

-So what's going on?

-Nothing.

0:07:390:07:41

We're good. You can leave, please.

0:07:410:07:43

Went clubbing. Tad dehydrated.

0:07:430:07:46

-Feel like humping the world.

-Did you do a little X?

0:07:460:07:49

Chasing your G'n'Ts with a little Thai stick. Impressive. Does she have a little problem?

0:07:510:07:56

No, her mother just died. She went out clubbing last night.

0:07:560:07:59

You know what? Get the hell out of here. Go!

0:07:590:08:02

Jacks.

0:08:080:08:10

Bored. Need magazines.

0:08:100:08:12

Thor, give me your magazines.

0:08:150:08:17

-What magazines?

-Give them to me, including In Touch.

0:08:170:08:21

How can you read this crap?

0:08:280:08:29

Please don't amplify my shame.

0:08:290:08:31

I know you like In Touch.

0:08:370:08:40

Woo!

0:08:400:08:41

Oh, look. Goldie and Kate,

0:08:430:08:47

mother and daughter, together, just...loving each other.

0:08:470:08:53

I should've called my mother more often.

0:08:530:08:55

-Did you know when I was at university we used to speak to each other every day?

-No, I didn't.

0:08:550:09:01

I'd forgotten how affectionate she was on the phone.

0:09:010:09:04

Speaking of, I can't figure out how to delete her from my contacts.

0:09:040:09:07

Clearly you need to give yourself some time to grieve.

0:09:070:09:10

In the meantime, CT scan. CT scan.

0:09:100:09:13

This one needs a full work-up.

0:09:130:09:15

This one needs a shitload of Haldol and a psych eval.

0:09:150:09:17

Sign off on these, then you can read your crap.

0:09:170:09:20

Hey. Need a hand?

0:09:310:09:33

-Oh, hey, man. How you doing?

-Great. How are you?

0:09:330:09:36

Good. I think I can handle this one.

0:09:360:09:39

Thanks.

0:09:390:09:41

-Strong man.

-There you go.

-So how's everything?

0:09:410:09:44

How's the family? How's your wife?

0:09:440:09:46

-Jackie, right?

-Yeah. Good memory.

0:09:460:09:48

Yeah, she's good, man. We're good. Things are great, better than ever.

0:09:480:09:52

That's nice. Did she like that ring you got her?

0:09:520:09:56

Did I show you that?

0:09:560:09:58

You do pay attention. Yeah, man, she loved it.

0:09:580:10:00

-She loved it.

-That's great.

0:10:000:10:03

So how about you, huh? Haven't seen you for a while.

0:10:030:10:06

Yeah. I, er, I tried to kill myself.

0:10:060:10:10

I ODed on some drugs trying to get a girl's attention.

0:10:100:10:14

You believe that? Didn't work.

0:10:140:10:16

Man.

0:10:160:10:18

Yeah. I'm just fucking with you. I didn't try to kill myself.

0:10:180:10:22

-Jesus! You are a sick fuck.

-I know, I know.

0:10:240:10:27

I got a sick sense of humour.

0:10:270:10:30

-How about a beer?

-Yeah. You got a Bud?

0:10:300:10:33

To love. To women. To Jackie.

0:10:380:10:43

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

0:10:430:10:46

How you feeling, little buddy?

0:10:460:10:48

-Hot.

-I guess that was a silly question.

0:10:480:10:51

Anyway, it seems strange, I know, but it is the standard test

0:10:510:10:55

to confirm or eliminate the diagnosis of cystic fibrosis.

0:10:550:10:58

We force Harry to sweat and then we measure the amount of chloride in his perspiration.

0:10:580:11:02

We know, Jackie explained everything to us.

0:11:020:11:04

Good.

0:11:060:11:07

-How much longer does he have to wear all this?

-Not much longer.

0:11:070:11:10

Then I'll do everything I can to get you the test results quickly.

0:11:100:11:14

And I'll do everything I can to make sure he does.

0:11:140:11:17

But I'm on it.

0:11:170:11:19

-And I'm on him.

-I got it.

0:11:190:11:22

I'll just check and double check.

0:11:220:11:26

A little bit OCD, but not a bad thing if you're a nurse.

0:11:260:11:31

Your son's in good hands.

0:11:310:11:34

-What are you doing?

-Tweeting.

0:11:350:11:37

People follow my life online. I'm sharing my thoughts with the world.

0:11:370:11:41

Are you blogging about that little boy?

0:11:410:11:43

It's not a blog, it's Twitter.

0:11:430:11:44

You can't do that. It's private.

0:11:440:11:46

Everyone remains anonymous except for me.

0:11:460:11:48

If I said cys fib would you know that's cystic fibrosis?

0:11:500:11:53

If I said eff you, would you know that's eat shit?

0:11:530:11:56

Beeyotch.

0:12:010:12:03

-That's a nice scarf.

-Well, thanks.

0:12:060:12:09

It's from Hermes, which I think is a pretty good store.

0:12:090:12:13

Dr O'Hara gave it to me.

0:12:130:12:16

-Oh, cool.

-Mm.

0:12:160:12:18

Does Dr O'Hara have a problem?

0:12:180:12:20

-I mean with drugs.

-No.

-Does Jackie?

0:12:200:12:25

-No.

-You sure?

0:12:250:12:28

Positive. And since you're asking, I don't do drugs either.

0:12:280:12:31

Although when I go to Great Adventure I do take Dramamine,

0:12:310:12:34

cos once on Rolling Thunder I yacked and it was a huge bummer.

0:12:340:12:38

I see your sins for I am God!

0:12:380:12:43

That's God?

0:12:430:12:44

It's 12.53 pm. Vermin!

0:12:440:12:48

-Huh.

-I used to be totally scared of him but now not so much.

0:12:480:12:52

-Oh, and he's crazy.

-Hey you!

0:12:520:12:57

Yeah, you, sir!

0:12:570:12:58

With the misshapen head.

0:12:580:13:01

How do you wake up in the morning?

0:13:010:13:03

-I love this guy.

-And you!

0:13:030:13:05

Hey you, Pizza Face.

0:13:050:13:08

You shall never marry!

0:13:080:13:12

You won't even be engaged.

0:13:120:13:14

I am God. Bow, bow, bow to me, you sinners and...

0:13:140:13:20

Uh-oh. God's down!

0:13:200:13:23

A lake of fire will swallow you up.

0:13:230:13:26

-Pimps and whores.

-On my count.

-Get the fuck off me!

0:13:270:13:31

-I'll smite every one of you fucking assholes!

-In psychosis.

0:13:310:13:34

-Can I have some vitamin H over here, please?

-Haldol, shaken not stirred.

-Getting the IV.

0:13:340:13:38

This is God, age unknown. He's probably about 50.

0:13:460:13:49

He lives across the street. Schizophrenic, currently off meds.

0:13:490:13:52

-I know this guy.

-Got hit in the head with a bottle.

0:13:520:13:55

-He told me I was super handsome, like Clark Gable.

-I retract!

0:13:550:13:59

Let's stitch him up.

0:13:590:14:01

You are an angel.

0:14:090:14:11

Will you stop fucking Twittering and focus, please?

0:14:150:14:18

-"Bitchy nurse being bitchy again."

-Don't do that.

0:14:200:14:23

Don't you dare Twitter about me.

0:14:230:14:25

Thanks for telling me I'm an angel.

0:14:310:14:35

When I was younger I actually thought I was an angel because I had a round face.

0:14:350:14:40

And I thought about becoming a nun.

0:14:400:14:42

Sound Of Music.

0:14:430:14:46

But I really like boys so I didn't.

0:14:470:14:50

Not all boys. There's one boy.

0:14:500:14:52

More man. Man-boy.

0:14:520:14:56

He's totally...

0:14:560:14:57

pcka-pcka-pcka-pcka.

0:14:570:15:00

It feels really inappropriate, talking about this with you, God... Sir.

0:15:000:15:06

-You know, when I hit my head I seen something.

-Like what? Like a bottle whizzing towards you?

0:15:060:15:11

I seen this tunnel with this incredibly bright light at the end of it,

0:15:110:15:16

but it didn't hurt to look at.

0:15:160:15:18

And at the end of the tunnel I met the most loving presence.

0:15:180:15:22

And I just knew it was God.

0:15:220:15:25

-I saw God.

-But I thought you were God.

0:15:250:15:29

I mean, I thought you thought you were God.

0:15:290:15:31

-I am God.

-So you saw yourself?

0:15:310:15:33

-No.

-So you saw God and... it wasn't you.

0:15:330:15:39

-Yeah.

-So...

0:15:390:15:42

..I guess that means

0:15:430:15:46

that you're not God.

0:15:460:15:48

Oh, my God.

0:15:480:15:51

Oh, my... I'm not God!

0:15:530:15:56

-I'm not God!

-Calm down.

-I'm not God! Argh!

0:15:560:16:00

THEY BOTH SCREAM

0:16:000:16:04

I'm not God! Argh! Argh!

0:16:040:16:08

Zoey, handle it.

0:16:080:16:10

I'm not God!

0:16:100:16:13

Hey, Jackie, I found these.

0:16:200:16:22

-OK. Where?

-Right over here on the floor.

0:16:220:16:26

-Good catch. I'll take 'em.

-Are they yours?

0:16:260:16:28

Are they mine? No.

0:16:280:16:30

What is hospital policy regarding lost or found drugs?

0:16:300:16:34

-Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.

-Oh, why so desperate?

0:16:340:16:37

-Excuse me?

-Well, you just seem really anxious for me to hand them over.

0:16:370:16:41

Do you want to get your ass kicked?

0:16:410:16:44

Give them to me. Now.

0:16:440:16:46

Come with me.

0:16:490:16:51

Any unidentifiable drugs or substances go into the slot.

0:16:510:16:55

That is hospital procedure. Got it?

0:16:550:16:57

Pain in my ass.

0:17:100:17:12

-Hey.

-Hey, babe.

-Listen, Luis is a firefighter, right?

0:17:390:17:43

-Yeah.

-Is he there?

0:17:430:17:45

-Yeah, he's here.

-Can you do me a favour?

0:17:450:17:46

Can you ask him to go over to the house and explain to Grace that the house will not just burn down?

0:17:460:17:51

-Maybe that'll ease her mind a little bit.

-That's a great idea.

0:17:510:17:54

-All right. Love you.

-Love you too.

0:17:540:17:55

Bye.

0:17:550:17:57

-The wife?

-Yeah.

0:18:000:18:03

I fucking love beer nuts.

0:18:050:18:07

KNOCKING

0:18:130:18:15

-Come in.

-Hi. A few things.

0:18:150:18:19

First of all, Coop will not stop Twittering.

0:18:210:18:24

It is interfering with work and it's pissing me off.

0:18:240:18:26

That's interesting.

0:18:260:18:28

Dr Cooper lodged a formal complaint against you.

0:18:280:18:31

Against me? Really? For what?

0:18:310:18:33

Insubordination and general bitchiness.

0:18:330:18:36

Insubord... Fucking A.

0:18:360:18:38

Twitter tweetering fucking dickhead.

0:18:380:18:40

-Anything else?

-Yes. This Sam guy.

0:18:400:18:43

Like every newly-sober person, he's convinced that everyone around him is an addict.

0:18:430:18:48

It's like the born-again guy we had last year. I'm just saying.

0:18:480:18:52

-Also one of my nurses needs a paediatric psych referral.

-Which one?

0:18:520:18:56

She'd rather not say.

0:18:560:18:58

Be helpful if I knew how old the child was before making a referral.

0:18:580:19:03

She's a very private person and she would rather not have everyone know her personal life.

0:19:030:19:07

I would say the kid's between... I don't know, seven and 12.

0:19:070:19:10

-Gender?

-She wants a list of shrinks that take our insurance and she wants it anonymously.

0:19:100:19:14

You know what? Forget about it.

0:19:140:19:17

Jackie.

0:19:170:19:18

Here is the best child psychiatrist I know

0:19:210:19:24

and she takes our health plan.

0:19:240:19:27

Thank you.

0:19:280:19:30

She was tremendously helpful with my boy.

0:19:300:19:34

Thanks.

0:19:340:19:36

Hi. I have the family of a little boy waiting for the results of

0:19:400:19:43

a CF sweat test. I would love to send them home.

0:19:430:19:46

I can only give the results to the doctor who ordered the tests.

0:19:460:19:49

Dr Cooper wants the results but he's in with

0:19:490:19:51

a trauma right now and if the test is positive I need to set up an IV.

0:19:510:19:54

Look, I'd really like to help you out here but I can't.

0:19:540:19:56

OK.

0:19:580:20:00

Everything's really preliminary at this point so it's just better not to give up. Sorry.

0:20:000:20:06

How old?

0:20:060:20:08

-Oh. Three months.

-Smiling yet?

0:20:080:20:11

Mm-hmm.

0:20:110:20:13

It's really awful when they get sick.

0:20:130:20:15

-What's the name?

-Miller, first name Harry.

0:20:170:20:21

-The whole run's not complete but the prelims look good.

-Thanks.

-Mm-hmm.

0:20:240:20:28

OK, so I went to the lab and talked to the tech.

0:20:320:20:35

Keep in mind that the doctor has not seen the results yet,

0:20:350:20:38

but so far they are looking very good.

0:20:380:20:40

-Thank God.

-Why don't you all go home and get some rest?

0:20:400:20:44

Thank you so much.

0:20:440:20:47

You've been so wonderful. Really? We can take him home?

0:20:470:20:51

-Yeah, I would.

-Just... Thank you.

0:20:510:20:54

I'll see ya, Harry.

0:20:550:20:57

-Say bye.

-Bye.

0:20:570:20:59

I'm telling you, man, it's great.

0:21:020:21:05

You can see the lights of Citi Field.

0:21:050:21:07

It's way brighter than Shea used to be.

0:21:070:21:10

You been yet to Citi?

0:21:100:21:12

-Not yet.

-You want to go sometime?

0:21:120:21:15

My brother gets me tickets.

0:21:150:21:17

Well, I would love that.

0:21:170:21:19

Cool. Islanders too.

0:21:210:21:23

No shit.

0:21:230:21:24

Would I shit you?

0:21:260:21:28

Thor?

0:21:390:21:41

It's not what you think.

0:21:540:21:56

Doughnuts. Really? You already lost one eye, am I right?

0:21:560:22:00

-How'd you know?

-Today in trauma with God...

0:22:000:22:05

I had my hand next to your face for about 20 minutes before you saw it.

0:22:050:22:08

Also I kind of just used my Spidey sense.

0:22:080:22:12

You are the only one who knows.

0:22:150:22:18

I haven't even told my new boyfriend yet.

0:22:180:22:20

Thanks for covering.

0:22:200:22:22

It's a shell. It's porcelain.

0:22:250:22:27

They paint it to match my other eye.

0:22:270:22:31

It's great. You would never know.

0:22:310:22:33

-You want to see?

-Sure.

0:22:330:22:36

Ooh, will you look at you?

0:22:440:22:47

What do you think of the new guy, Sam?

0:23:030:23:05

Oh.

0:23:050:23:07

Er, well I think he's really smart and incredibly cute.

0:23:080:23:13

And I think he's probably an excellent nurse.

0:23:130:23:16

-I don't like him.

-Yeah, he's dead to me.

0:23:180:23:20

Go on, yell at someone.

0:23:260:23:29

-I don't want to.

-Oh, come on.

0:23:290:23:33

You're so good at it.

0:23:330:23:36

Ooh.

0:23:360:23:37

Look at the bald dude.

0:23:370:23:40

Say, "Hey, Baldy. You're all bald.

0:23:400:23:42

Grow some hair you idiot."

0:23:420:23:45

What's the point? I'm not God.

0:23:450:23:47

Oh, sure you are.

0:23:470:23:49

I'm not. I've seen God and he wasn't me.

0:23:510:23:55

-That doesn't mean anything.

-It means everything.

0:23:550:23:59

It means I'm not God. It means my life is a sham.

0:23:590:24:02

Well, Jesus wasn't God.

0:24:040:24:06

-So?

-But he's still like really important

0:24:060:24:10

in the religious hierarchal stratification.

0:24:100:24:14

So maybe you're like Jesus.

0:24:140:24:15

Mm-hmm?

0:24:170:24:19

Jesus was the son of God.

0:24:190:24:22

So maybe you're like the nephew of God

0:24:220:24:25

or the brother-in-law of God.

0:24:250:24:27

I like where this is going.

0:24:300:24:32

Hey, you! Strumpet with the thinning hair!

0:24:320:24:36

I can see your soul.

0:24:360:24:40

You whore!

0:24:400:24:41

Lather, rinse, repeat!

0:24:450:24:48

That's how they'll get you.

0:24:480:24:50

Where's the sweat test kid?

0:24:520:24:54

I sent them home. Why don't you run to Akalitus and lodge a formal complaint?

0:24:540:24:59

-What do you mean you sent them home?

-What don't you understand?

0:24:590:25:02

They were sitting here for over six hours while you were dicking around. So I went to the lab,

0:25:020:25:07

-got the results, which were negative in case you're interested and I sent them home.

-Negative?

0:25:070:25:13

What the fuck is wrong with you?

0:25:130:25:15

-Excuse me?

-Those test results were preliminary.

0:25:150:25:18

I was waiting for the final results, which by the way were positive.

0:25:180:25:21

The kid's got cystic fibrosis.

0:25:210:25:23

-Oh, fucking God, no.

-Yeah.

0:25:230:25:25

Harry and his family are celebrating and now it's my job to

0:25:250:25:28

pick up the phone and tell them that their kid's not going to live to 30.

0:25:280:25:32

What's the matter? No snappy comeback?

0:25:330:25:37

Let me call them?

0:25:370:25:39

Have a nice Goddamn night.

0:25:390:25:40

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