Episode 2 Outnumbered


Episode 2

Sitcom. Mum has had enough of the boys' attitudes to housework so sets out to civilise them. Karen battles with chuggers and shoe buying, while Dad wars with a domestic appliance.


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Transcript


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-No, it isn't.

-But it really is! I'm telling you.

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And I am telling you that Top Gear is not a children's programme.

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Of course it is, they blow up caravans!

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-That's a kids thing.

-It's not a children's show.

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-They have children's presenters.

-They swear and no-one swears on children's shows.

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They do on Wife Swap.

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-Wife Swap isn't a children's programme either.

-Oh, come on!

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No, Ben, it's not.

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I mean, what do you actually recommend I watch?

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What about Horrible Histories?

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That's not horrible at all.

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Embarrassing Bodies is horrible.

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-Yeah, but...

-That had this bloke with, like, a weird shrivelly horn

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coming out the back of his head.

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They had to amputate it.

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-It's disgusting.

-I'd like a horn on my head.

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Not a unicorn horn, but like devil horns

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or ram horns where they curl round.

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Or big twizzley ones.

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When did you watch Embarrassing Bodies?

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The other night. It was on just after America's Top Serial Killers.

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Why were you watching America's Top Serial Killers?

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Because it's interesting. And why isn't it for kids?

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Because it's about serial killing!

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You're going to turn in to a serial killer, potentially.

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So everyone who watched that show will become a murderer?

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At your age you're easily influenced.

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I'm not going to be influenced by some guy who killed people

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because of their star sign. I find it quite stupid.

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If I was going to kill someone I'd just kill them.

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Oh, good. Listen, it's...

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What the hell has happened

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in this toilet?

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It's like a urine...tsunami.

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Firstly, it'd be nice if once in a while

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one of the males in the household could actually use

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the toilet as the toilet. Secondly...

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Well, that won't be me, I sit down nowadays.

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Oh, no!

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It's blocked with paper!

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There is a plunger in here specifically for...

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Hang on, where's it gone?

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-You should go and help her.

-What?

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Unblocking the toilet is something

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your man should do to keep the marriage fresh.

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Karen, go and get dressed, please.

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Yeah, very funny.

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I said, get dressed.

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Karen, you are doing my head in.

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I've had a very difficult week doing all the supply teaching and I am knackered.

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Well, I'm knackered,

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Doctor, there is no escape.

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-Exterminate!

-I've had an extremely hard week at school.

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Yesterday, I got kicked out of afterschool club,

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which is entirely unfair.

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Maybe if you hadn't told your teacher she's got a moustache.

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Well, she has. I thought maybe she hadn't noticed it.

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You deliberately got yourself thrown out

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so you could get back at Mum for working full time.

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I've had a difficult week.

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I got given four detentions. That's a lot.

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Well, it is in one day, yeah.

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The boys have nicknamed me 'Legend'.

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Yeah, look, it's nothing to be proud of.

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Karen! Will you get your hands out of my food?

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All right, all right, calm down. There's no need to be so touchy.

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-I just want to...

-It's not our fault you got fired.

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-I did not get fired.

-Well, do you have your job?

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-Well, no.

-Well, then that's getting fired, isn't it?

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-Dad, didn't get fired, he "resigned on principle".

-Thank you, Ben.

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What does that mean?

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Well, resigning on principle is where you quit,

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rather than do something that you believe is wrong.

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So, if I didn't believe in my Mum

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abandoning me in afterschool club, I could resign, could I?

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No, no, no, no. That's something completely different.

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Oh, Jake! I asked you to set off the dishwasher.

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And you were supposed to wash this pan, Ben.

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I washed it!

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Pete, you could have supervised.

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Well, it's important they learn to do it themselves, isn't it?

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2011 and still Mum gets to do everything. So much for feminism.

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Mr Spackman says feminism was doomed from the start.

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-Mr Spackman?

-Yeah, Biology teacher.

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He says it's evolution and that women are homemakers because it's hardwired into their DNA.

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Mr Spackman? Oh, yes, I remember.

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The sad, bald, middle aged, bachelor

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-with dried egg on his tie and terrible BO.

-This is clean.

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How clean does something have to be?

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Clean clean! Come on, boys, you need to know

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how to do all this stuff for later on in your life.

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You might not get to marry a woman as gullible as me.

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You need to be self sufficient, you need to be independent, you don't want to end up like your...

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Mr Spackman.

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Pete, could I have a quick word, please, now? Thank you so much.

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Reckon she's got PMT.

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Yeah.

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What is PMT?

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Close the door.

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You know I said I thought that Jake was up to something? Well, there's been a development.

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Yesterday, he bought a new jacket.

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-Hang on, I'll ring CNN.

-Thursday, he didn't have any money.

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Suddenly, hey presto, new jacket! Something's going on.

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This cleanliness obsession of hers is very bad for our health

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because it means I won't get into contact with enough germs

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which means my immune system will collapse,

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which means, basically, she could give us AIDS.

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-Look, why don't you just ask him about the new jacket?

-I tried.

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-Oh, right.

-Jokily.

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I said, "So, did you steal the money to buy the jacket?", jokily.

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Right.

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So, now you have a go, but steer clear of the jokey stuff because he doesn't like that.

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Jake! Dishwasher!

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Oh? Yeah, it's broken, it won't start.

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You haven't hit the on button.

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Right, that's it,

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I'm giving you boys a crash course in household skills.

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Let's start with the ironing.

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This is an iron.

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Now, the first thing

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you have to remember is to take special care because it's dangerous.

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This is an electrical appliance it gets very hot.

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Actually, let's start with cooking.

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Dad?

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Yes?

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When you were fired, did people gang up on you?

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-We've been through this, I wasn't fired...

-Yeah, but did they gang up on you?

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Yeah, well, a bit, maybe.

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Has someone been ganging up on you?

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Well, yes, because

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Molly said that Megan said that I was talking to Maisie

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about Katrina saying bad things about Katherine to Stacey.

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-Right.

-Which isn't true, because I didn't say anything to Maisie.

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She's just making it up to make me look bad to Molly.

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And Megan told Tanya, because she wants to be

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friends with Tanya and Molly

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and then they're all on Megan's side, which isn't right.

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Do you get what I'm saying?

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So you're cross with...

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-Megan?

-No! Weren't you listening?

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-You take one egg.

-This is ridiculous.

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You can't spend your whole life eating crisps.

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Well, you can, actually, but you will die of scurvy.

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And this pan, it still isn't clean enough.

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Any cleaner than that and we are definitely getting AIDS.

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What?

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And then Katrina told Megan that she was a pig

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and Megan told Miss, but, then,

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Katrina told everyone it was my fault

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because of what I said to Maisie.

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But I didn't even say anything to Maisie.

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So, now Tanya's telling everyone not to be my friend because

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I can't keep a secret, which is really, really, really unfair on me.

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No, you're right, sweetheart. But, you see,

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girls your age...

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Have you heard the word 'clique'?

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-No.

-No, well a clique is like a little

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private gang, but the cliques keep on changing,

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so the best thing is not to let it bother you.

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You've just got to ignore it,

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OK?

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Do boys have cliques?

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-No, boys don't form cliques, they're too busy punching each other.

-Oh.

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So these are our ingredients.

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We don't need this lesson, in cooking or cleaning

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because, let's face it, it's easy stuff.

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-Easy?

-Yeah.

-Well, it can't be that easy,

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neither of you have managed it.

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It's not difficult at all, Mum.

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You just make it seem difficult because when

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you do it you make a big song and dance about it.

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-Jake, that's not...

-Come on, Dad, I've heard you say that.

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I've no idea what he means by that.

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-He's, erm... He's...

-Karen!

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-Get your shoes on, we're going out!

-Yay!

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-What?

-Well, there's no point hanging round

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when there's so much male competence at hand.

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Karen and I are going to have a girl's day out.

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We'll be back about 5.30pm, ready to eat a nice hot meal cooked in clean,

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salmonella free pans

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in a lovely clean house with no urine scented floors

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and a hall that doesn't resemble war torn Baghdad.

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Shouldn't take you more than 20 minutes, provided you don't make a song and dance about it.

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Pete, you're in charge. Bye, boys!

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Well, played.

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We haven't done much mother daughter stuff recently, have we?

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So, we could go to the park or the zoo, whatever.

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Whatever you want to do, that's what we'll do.

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I'd like to go to the shopping centre.

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Shopping centre?

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Why on Earth do you want to go to the shopping centre?

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-To hang out.

-Right, and what does that involve?

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-Hanging out. Bit of shopping, bit of...

-Come on, Karen!

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We could go to Richmond Park.

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We could see if we could have a ride on the horses.

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So, when you said we could go anywhere I wanted

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that was just another Mummy promise, was it?

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-This is nice.

-Yeah, lovely.

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We could do this every Sunday, couldn't we?

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You can put the meat in, but I'm the chef.

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Of course you are. You've got the hat.

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-I've always fancied being a chef. can I swear?

-No.

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-Can I tell everyone they're useless?

-No.

-But I can use knives?

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I think I'd better supervise everything involving knives,

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hot liquids or flames.

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Now, we need to do some vegetables.

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No, we don't. I'm a chef that thinks vegetables are a cliche.

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-Well, we need something green.

-I can make a gargantuan salad.

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Salad, that is an excellent idea, no flames.

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Now, next on the list is the Hoovering.

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Shotgun the Hoovering!

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-I can do that. I can do the laundry, as well.

-Really?

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Oh, OK. So, Jake you do

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-the decluttering in the hall, urine removal...

-Bloody hell.

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Hey, that is not the attitude, OK?

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Failure is not an option.

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We are representing the male of the species here,

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so no negativity,

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no losing focus and no ringing your Mum for help.

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Ben, stop sniffing the gas.

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So, what's it to be? Some art stuff?

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DVDs? Some books, some toys?

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Some shoes.

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Shoes? But you've got shoes.

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Yes, but a woman can never have too many shoes.

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-That's what Tanya says.

-Ah, Tanya, eh?

-Yeah,

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she goes shoe shopping every weekend.

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Last weekend she went with Molly and Maisie and Megan

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and they all bought shoes. Tanya's mum took them.

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Well, good for her.

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Hi there, just asking for one minute of your time to beat heart disease?

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-Beating heart disease sounds quite hard.

-Well, yes, it is...

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So, it's going to take more than a minute of my time, isn't it?

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-Karen.

-Because first I need to become a heart doctor

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and that's going to take at least five weeks.

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Hey, Mum? Do we have any panko?

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-Panko?

-Yeah, panko.

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What's it for?

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I'm preparing dinner.

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Does it involve flames?

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No, I'm making a big salad.

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Have we got any yam paste?

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No, I...

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Japanese sweet rice wine, preferably organic?

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-No.

-Sumac?

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-No.

-Porcini?

-No.

-Pancetta?

-No.

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-Pecorino sardo?

-No.

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-Cream frashay?

-Creme fraiche?

-Yeah.

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No.

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The Welsh man that does the news

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always says it's the fat people that get heart...

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-Can I speak to your Mum?

-...disease.

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You should go in to the pub and tell the fat people that when their

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hearts explode

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it'll be your doctors that put a nice fresh healthy,

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like, baboon's heart in there for them.

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Baby ruby chard?

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We haven't even got any adult ruby chard.

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Frangelico?

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-No.

-Udon noodles?

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You're using the Nigella cookbook, aren't you?

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Yeah. How did you know that?

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Don't bother, no-one knows what any of that stuff is.

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Also, you should bring a

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patient with you that has heart disease...

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-I don't...

-...with tubes

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coming out of them and looking all pale and blue

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and their eyes are white, and then say,

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"This is Betty, she'll die if you don't donate money".

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I'm not sure that would be very good for Betty's health.

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Well, then you dress someone up like Betty.

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Yes, I'm not sure I'm not sure of the point...

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-And then...

-Can we just speak to your mum, maybe?

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-How about...

-You heard what Dad said,

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we can't call Mum, that's an admission of failure and failure is not an option.

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"Failure is not an option, Chef!", now get out of my kitchen.

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'Ben, what's happening? What's going on there?'

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No, everything's fine, Mum.

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Do the heart doctors and stuff,

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do they get all the money or do you get to keep some?

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Can I just go and speak to your mum! Maybe about...

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But do you get to keep some of the money?

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-I mean, that's a big question.

-Do you get the money that I give to that.

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We should really wait for your mum.

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-Sorry, pushed for time, can't stop.

-No, that's fine!

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Ben, everything going OK?

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-Yeah, Dad, everything's fine.

-Good lad!

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-Is it the Grand Prix?

-Yeah, it's the usual high speed procession.

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I tell you what would bring the excitement back to Formula 1,

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two words - zebra crossings.

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-Yeah!

-And maybe a couple of mums on the school run.

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Unexpectedly stopping at the chicane.

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"Oh, sorry I won't be a minute."

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"Oh, sorry, just let me manoeuvre."

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"I've a right to park on this corner because I have children".

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Hey, what you doing?

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Oh, it's just some homework.

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Well, not in front of the telly.

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It's just an essay, it's easy.

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Well, what's it about?

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-The Romantic poets.

-And why is that easy?

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There's just not much to say.

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"The Romantic poets were a bunch of Emos".

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They were a major movement in literature.

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You can't just, sort of, diss them.

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Well, you know, I like daffodils and I appreciate them

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but it doesn't mean I have to go on about them the whole time.

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I can think, that's a nice daffodil, and then move on with my life.

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-Have you any idea how long The Ancient Mariner is?

-But...

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Coleridge got 320 verses out of some idiot who shot a bird.

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Why are all these poems about shooting birds?

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You can think it's rubbish, but you have to have

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-a coherent argument as to why.

-OK, well, my conclusion...

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How can you come to a conclusion?

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You've written a sentence! You can't have a conclusion.

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I'm planning ahead! Wordsworth

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had a very bland life, the most interesting thing he did

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was sleep with his sister, but rather than write about...

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"A very bland life"? "The most exciting thing he did was sleep with his sister"!

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If that's your definition of bland.

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He couldn't write about sleeping with his sister, he'd have been put in prison!

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-Well...

-He'd be in the next cell to Oscar Wilde!

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But they're so nice.

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I'm sorry, darling, but there are certain basic things you need

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in a shoe and being able to walk is one of them.

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But they're leopard print, I love leopard print.

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They're not real leopard, are they?

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No.

0:17:130:17:16

Look, we've got this lovely bag,

0:17:160:17:19

which is lovely. Why don't we call it a day on the shopping

0:17:190:17:23

and go out in to the sunshine

0:17:230:17:24

and away from this music which is doing my head in.

0:17:240:17:27

I guess I could forget about the shoes.

0:17:270:17:31

-Good girl.

-I just need some lipstick.

0:17:310:17:34

Lipstick? You're nine!

0:17:340:17:37

Exactly.

0:17:370:17:39

Just put some effort in!

0:17:430:17:45

But English is pointless and it doesn't qualify you for anything.

0:17:450:17:48

Education isn't just about getting a job.

0:17:480:17:50

It should be! If you want to be a plumber

0:17:500:17:52

then you study Advanced Plumbing.

0:17:520:17:54

But to be a plumber you need, chemistry

0:17:540:17:58

to understand about corrosion,

0:17:580:18:00

physics to know all about the dynamics of water,

0:18:000:18:03

maths to bump up the invoice.

0:18:030:18:06

It is all part of the same thing.

0:18:060:18:09

Yeah, and then you don't need any of the poncey stuff like history.

0:18:090:18:12

History isn't poncey!

0:18:120:18:13

Look, the point is by the time I've...

0:18:130:18:16

Wow, that mechanic's on fire!

0:18:160:18:18

Well, now we're talking!

0:18:180:18:20

I mean, that's terrible. Poor man.

0:18:220:18:25

Other girls in my class wear lipstick.

0:18:250:18:28

-Really?

-Yeah!

0:18:280:18:29

When the going home time bell rings

0:18:290:18:32

they sneak into the toilets and put it on.

0:18:320:18:35

My God!

0:18:350:18:36

Well, look, you've got a beautiful, natural face that you...

0:18:370:18:41

-Yeah, well, you wouldn't understand.

-Well, what does that mean?

0:18:410:18:45

You wouldn't understand because you're one of the lucky ones.

0:18:450:18:48

-The lucky ones?

-Yes, Tanya's mum says you're lucky because

0:18:480:18:53

you don't care about how you look.

0:18:530:18:55

-Is that right?

-She says she wishes she could be like you.

0:18:550:18:59

She wears lots of lipstick.

0:18:590:19:01

Yeah, tons.

0:19:010:19:03

She has all different colours. She even has black.

0:19:030:19:06

That would look good on you because you've got such a white face.

0:19:060:19:09

Hey, we could do you a whole new makeover!

0:19:090:19:12

That would be a good mother daughter thing.

0:19:120:19:16

I don't want a makeover, I'm perfectly happy with the way I look.

0:19:160:19:20

Well, you're just being silly now.

0:19:200:19:22

These commentators are so bland.

0:19:360:19:40

Bring back Murray Walker, that's what I say.

0:19:400:19:42

-Do you remember Murray Walker, Jake?

-No, Dad.

0:19:420:19:45

I don't remember any of the people that you remember.

0:19:450:19:48

He was fantastic. He was the perfect commentator

0:19:480:19:51

because he sounds like a racing car.

0:19:510:19:53

"And there goes Emerson Fittipaldi"!

0:19:530:19:56

I heard you bought a new jacket.

0:20:010:20:03

Yeah, it was going cheap in Camden Market.

0:20:060:20:08

-I just thought...

-Has Mum put you up to this?

0:20:080:20:10

Mum? No, no, no,

0:20:100:20:13

not at all, no.

0:20:130:20:16

No.

0:20:160:20:17

I just wondered how you, er...

0:20:200:20:22

Zach's Dad gave each band member £30

0:20:220:20:24

because we're playing at his birthday party.

0:20:240:20:26

Oh! Oh, right.

0:20:260:20:29

Excellent.

0:20:290:20:32

"I wandered lonely as a cloud"!

0:20:320:20:34

How is a cloud lonely?

0:20:340:20:36

You never see clouds on their own, you see them with other clouds.

0:20:360:20:39

-Maybe it was a maverick.

-That's the trouble, they just don't think.

0:20:390:20:43

You can't just dismiss the Romantic Movement.

0:20:430:20:46

It represented a rejection

0:20:460:20:49

of the certainties of 18th century classicism

0:20:490:20:52

and it heralded a social movement that challenged

0:20:520:20:55

the conservative notions like the Divine Right of Kings.

0:20:550:20:59

-Can you say that slowly so I can write it down?

-Oh, for God's sake.

0:21:010:21:05

-I don't want to buy anything new.

-If you didn't want to ever

0:21:050:21:08

buy anything new then we'd all still be in togas.

0:21:080:21:10

I don't need anything!

0:21:100:21:12

You do.

0:21:120:21:14

Since when did you get so interested in fashion?

0:21:140:21:17

Think about the people that would be out of work.

0:21:170:21:19

The little children of Vietnam poking the holes in the trainers

0:21:190:21:23

and all the grannies cutting the holes in balaclavas,

0:21:230:21:26

and she'd have no job!

0:21:260:21:29

What about the models? They'd starve.

0:21:290:21:31

Karen! Can we just...?

0:21:310:21:33

Look here, see, this is the kind of thing you need.

0:21:330:21:36

It's got nice birds on it.

0:21:360:21:38

-Actually, that's in the sale. And it's only...

-Please, don't speak.

0:21:380:21:42

It just stopped a few minutes ago.

0:21:420:21:44

-Why didn't you call me?

-I tried pressing all the buttons.

0:21:440:21:46

Well, don't press any more. Let's just tackle it logically.

0:21:460:21:51

-Why don't we turn it off and on again?

-No, that only works with computers, and no-one knows why.

0:21:510:21:55

So, this is the first load, yeah?

0:21:550:21:57

-Yeah, and the second.

-You put both loads in?

0:21:570:22:01

Mmm-hmm.

0:22:010:22:03

Why did you do that?

0:22:030:22:05

Actually, how did you do that?

0:22:050:22:07

Well, first I used my feet

0:22:070:22:09

and then I used the broom as a sort of ramrod thing.

0:22:090:22:13

And then I used my feet and the broom.

0:22:130:22:15

Your Mum is going to go nuts. I don't know...

0:22:150:22:17

Try this!

0:22:170:22:19

Ben, the answer to every problem is not whack it with a hammer.

0:22:190:22:23

Just a bit of thought, that's all that's required.

0:22:230:22:26

-You'll have to get a man in.

-We do not need to "get a man in".

0:22:260:22:30

-That's what Mum does.

-No, that's what Mum does when I'm not available.

0:22:300:22:34

-Often far too readily and at great expense.

-We need someone who knows what they're doing.

0:22:340:22:39

I know what I'm doing!

0:22:390:22:41

-You're going to break it!

-I will find a solution.

0:22:410:22:44

Manual. Where is the manual?

0:22:440:22:48

Ah!

0:22:500:22:51

All shall be revealed.

0:22:510:22:53

-Here's a bigger hammer.

-No.

0:22:530:22:55

I've just spent half an hour combing through this manual.

0:22:580:23:01

So, have you fixed it?

0:23:010:23:02

No, because this is the manual to our last bloody washing machine!

0:23:020:23:07

-Why have we kept..?

-Get a man in!

0:23:070:23:10

Proper men don't pay to get men in.

0:23:100:23:14

It is a simple engineering problem and I will fix it.

0:23:140:23:17

Like when you fixed the radiators and they ended up full of sewage?

0:23:170:23:23

Hot sewage?

0:23:230:23:26

That was a systemic design flaw.

0:23:260:23:29

This is a washing machine and I'm good with washing machines.

0:23:290:23:33

And this one is not going to beat me!

0:23:330:23:35

BLENDER WHIRS

0:23:380:23:39

STOPS BLENDER

0:23:420:23:43

You stupid, bloody, bloody machine!

0:23:430:23:47

Stupid...!

0:23:470:23:48

STARTS BLENDER

0:23:480:23:50

Oh, Karen, can we please stop shopping?

0:23:520:23:55

-I've stopped shopping. I'm browsing.

-I'm so...

0:23:550:23:58

Ooh, Tanya's got a top like that,

0:23:580:24:01

and Molly and Megan. Can we please stop browsing and go back to shopping

0:24:010:24:05

-because I really like this top?

-Listen, Karen,

0:24:050:24:09

if you only ever remember one thing I tell you I'd like it to be this.

0:24:090:24:14

Life is too short to spend it looking for a top.

0:24:140:24:17

Please, please don't waste it acquiring stuff

0:24:170:24:23

just because you happen to be a woman and some other women told...

0:24:230:24:26

-Oh, that's Tanya, isn't it?

-Yeah, and Molly and Maisie and Megan.

0:24:260:24:32

-Did you know they were going to be here?

-No.

0:24:320:24:34

Tanya said they were going to Westfield for her birthday treat.

0:24:340:24:38

Ah, her birthday treat.

0:24:400:24:42

You invited Tanya to yours, didn't you?

0:24:420:24:45

Yeah.

0:24:450:24:48

-Do you want to and say hello?

-No.

0:24:480:24:50

OK.

0:24:500:24:51

Tanya's Mum looks nice, doesn't she?

0:24:520:24:56

I like her jacket.

0:24:560:24:58

But it's not real leopard, is it?

0:24:580:25:00

Do you know,

0:25:010:25:04

I think it might be.

0:25:040:25:05

Hello!

0:25:110:25:13

Blimey!

0:25:180:25:20

-That hall is spotless.

-Yeah.

0:25:220:25:24

Did you have a nice time, Karen?

0:25:240:25:26

-No. Mum wouldn't try on the hot pants.

-It's a long story.

0:25:260:25:32

Well, this all looks very impressive.

0:25:320:25:34

Ben has put an enormous amount of effort into this meal.

0:25:340:25:38

You let Ben cook our meal? Are you mad?

0:25:380:25:42

-Karen!

-I'm not eating that, it's going to taste like cat sick.

0:25:420:25:45

-Why's she in a bad mood?

-Don't ask.

-You all right? You sound...

0:25:450:25:49

I'm just coming down with something.

0:25:490:25:51

-Have you done your homework?

-Oh, yes, indeed.

0:25:510:25:54

-Have you opened the wine?

-Yes, chef!

0:25:540:25:56

"The Romantic Poets were a bunch of Emos,

0:25:560:25:59

"but they also represented

0:25:590:26:01

"a rejection of the certainties of 18th century classicism..."

0:26:010:26:05

OK, places, everyone, now!

0:26:080:26:10

So, everything got done?

0:26:100:26:11

You managed OK? No problems?

0:26:110:26:14

No, no. No problems, whatsoever.

0:26:140:26:18

Oh, the, um...

0:26:190:26:21

The, er...washing machine went on the blink,

0:26:210:26:25

stopped mid cycle, don't know why.

0:26:250:26:27

I've, um... I've got a...

0:26:280:26:31

man coming in.

0:26:310:26:33

Oh, well, that's very efficient.

0:26:330:26:36

Usually, I have to do that. So, Chef, is this a Nigella recipe?

0:26:360:26:40

No, I found something better.

0:26:400:26:43

I found it in a magazine that came with Dad's newspaper.

0:26:430:26:46

There was this man and he's not a chef, he's a food scientist.

0:26:460:26:51

He does science with food.

0:26:510:26:53

His name was Heston something.

0:26:530:26:56

I thought we were having salad?

0:26:560:26:58

You are having salad.

0:26:580:27:00

-Well, where is it, then?

-I put it through the blender.

0:27:000:27:04

-You put the salad through the blender?

-Not just the salad.

0:27:040:27:07

All the other things.

0:27:070:27:09

I think it's called a puree.

0:27:090:27:11

Heston says if you want to be a great chef

0:27:110:27:14

you must be prepared to experiment with lots of flavours.

0:27:140:27:17

Ta-da!

0:27:190:27:20

Ooh.

0:27:240:27:25

Right, um...

0:27:250:27:27

That...

0:27:290:27:30

Unusual texture.

0:27:370:27:38

Now this puree is made of

0:27:380:27:41

pork, onion, cheese, garlic, rocket, cucumber,

0:27:410:27:45

erm...Toblerone,

0:27:450:27:48

rhubarb, ice cream, cabbage and marzipan.

0:27:480:27:52

And this is the vegetarian option,

0:27:520:27:54

without the pork.

0:27:540:27:56

Well, it certainly seems like a lot of work.

0:27:560:28:01

Did Daddy supervise you, at all?

0:28:010:28:04

Nope. Did it by myself.

0:28:040:28:06

-Besides, Dad was busy.

-Really?

0:28:060:28:09

Busy doing what?

0:28:090:28:12

Mum, the washing machine's covered in, like, big dents,

0:28:120:28:15

like someone's been whacking it with a hammer.

0:28:150:28:17

So, tuck in.

0:28:200:28:22

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:470:28:50

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:500:28:53

Mum has had enough of the boys' attitudes to housework so sets out on a campaign to civilise them. Karen battles with chuggers and buying shoes, while Dad goes to war with a domestic appliance.


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