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As we all know, Ron is recovering from his hernia surgery. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
So I got him flowers from all of us. | 0:00:04 | 0:00:06 | |
So everybody needs to pitch in, like, 90. | 0:00:06 | 0:00:08 | |
90? | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
Yes, because I ordered a beautiful bouquet of daffodils, | 0:00:10 | 0:00:14 | |
from a website, after a few glasses of wine. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:18 | |
So, Tom, I think you might be getting some daffodils, too. | 0:00:18 | 0:00:20 | |
Donna, you're definitely getting some. | 0:00:20 | 0:00:22 | |
Jerry? I don't know. I'm not sure. Time will tell. | 0:00:22 | 0:00:25 | |
Also, I'm leaving early tonight | 0:00:26 | 0:00:27 | |
because I am a judge in the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant. | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You get to be a judge in that thing? | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
Yes, and it's a responsibility I take very seriously. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
But I want to be a judge. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:36 | |
I can't believe you like beauty pageants. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
April, whoever Miss Pawnee is, | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
is going to be the representative of womanhood in our town. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
And as a judge, let me assure you that this year's Miss Pawnee | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
will be chosen for her talent and poise. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:47 | |
Whoa. The girls from Talent and Poise going to be there? | 0:00:47 | 0:00:49 | |
-What? -Talent and Poise. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:51 | |
It's the strip club by the VA hospital. I have some meetings there. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:54 | |
That's disgusting. | 0:00:54 | 0:00:55 | |
No. What's disgusting is the Glitter Factory. | 0:00:55 | 0:00:58 | |
Do not go to the Glitter Factory. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
Hey! | 0:01:30 | 0:01:33 | |
Hey! | 0:01:33 | 0:01:35 | |
So, I was just at The Grind and I thought you might want an iced mocha | 0:01:35 | 0:01:38 | |
with extra, extra whipped cream. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:41 | |
Oh, my. Thank you so much, April. Wow! | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
You're welcome. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:45 | |
Oh, by the way, completely unrelated, | 0:01:45 | 0:01:48 | |
I just signed up for the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
That's wonderful. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
You know, that is why I decided to become a judge. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
So that awesome girls like you, | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
who are not, you know, classically hot, | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:02 | |
Beauty pageants are idiotic. | 0:02:02 | 0:02:04 | |
But I found out that the winner | 0:02:04 | 0:02:06 | |
of the Miss Pawnee Pageant gets 600. | 0:02:06 | 0:02:08 | |
I can be idiotic for 600. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
So, are you going to vote for me, sister? | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
April, it's unethical for me to show you favouritism. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:16 | |
You and I are like family. | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
The coffee is 7. | 0:02:19 | 0:02:21 | |
Yes. Right. Of course. | 0:02:21 | 0:02:22 | |
Just bump that clown. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:23 | |
Tell them they already have another Asian judge. | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
Awesome. Thank you so much, I owe you. All right. Peace. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:31 | |
Guess who's also going to be a judge in the beauty pageant? | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
What? How? | 0:02:34 | 0:02:35 | |
I know a guy. I had to call in a few favours. | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
But if you don't call in favours to look at women in bikinis | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
and assign them numerical grades, | 0:02:40 | 0:02:41 | |
what the hell do you call in favours for? | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
-Hey. -Hey. | 0:02:45 | 0:02:46 | |
-Hey. -Hey. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:48 | |
What you doing in these parts? | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
I just came by to see the murals. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:53 | |
This one's pretty amazing. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:54 | |
Yeah, this one's a beauty. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
You know, in the 1880s, there were a few years | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee. | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley | 0:03:01 | 0:03:05 | |
and Anna Beth Stevenson, a widowed mother of seven. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:09 | |
The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting." | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
But you know, they had to change it for obvious reasons. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
She's got him by the hair pretty good there. | 0:03:16 | 0:03:17 | |
-Yeah. -Leslie's really cool, and she's smart. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:21 | |
It's a little intimidating. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:23 | |
To tell you the truth, I didn't come here to look at the murals. | 0:03:24 | 0:03:27 | |
I came to ask her on a date. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
Hey, Leslie... | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
I really like you. | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
And I was wondering | 0:03:37 | 0:03:38 | |
if maybe you'd want to get a cup of coffee or something, sometime. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
OK, yeah, sure. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:43 | |
Yeah? | 0:03:43 | 0:03:44 | |
Yeah. Absolutely. Let me check my schedule. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
OK. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:48 | |
Let's see. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
Is that your grandma? | 0:03:50 | 0:03:52 | |
Yeah. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
That's Madeleine Albright. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:00 | |
That's her name? Cos I usually just call mine "Nana". | 0:04:00 | 0:04:04 | |
No, that's Madeleine Albright. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
The first female Secretary of State. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
OK, so, not... That's not your grandma, then. | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
All right. I got it. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
-How's that schedule looking? -Good, a couple days are free. | 0:04:15 | 0:04:17 | |
-Maybe we could just, you know... -Lock it in later? | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
-Yeah. -Talk later about it? -Yeah. That's a good idea. -OK. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
Ladies. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:26 | |
You want to hear something awful? | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
He didn't even know who Madeleine Albright was. | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
-Who? -Not you, too. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
Madeleine Albright, the first female Secretary of State. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
No, no, no. Who didn't know? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:39 | |
Oh, Dave. That cop that I met. I don't know. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
I just don't know if I can date someone who doesn't share my interests. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
I mean, could you date someone who doesn't love giving vaccinations? | 0:04:46 | 0:04:52 | |
I've never dated anyone who loves giving vaccinations. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:54 | |
-Hey. -Hey. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Weird question for you. Are you handy? Like, can you fix things? | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
-Well, what's broken? -My shower. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
It's leaky, low pressure, just all around terrible. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
Easy. You want me to come over after work? | 0:05:09 | 0:05:10 | |
Yes. Yes. Amazing. | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
I will cook you a cheap, quick dinner | 0:05:13 | 0:05:15 | |
that will be no trouble at all for me. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
Great. Well, I'll see you tonight, | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
for the weirdest second date ever. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:20 | |
OK. | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
Hello, fellow judges. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
I am Judge Leslie Knope and this is my colleague, Tom Haverford. He's also going to be a judge. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:28 | |
Hi. Jessica Wicks, Miss Pawnee 1994. | 0:05:28 | 0:05:31 | |
I recognised you right away. | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
And may I say that you look even more beautiful now | 0:05:33 | 0:05:35 | |
than you did when you won the crown. | 0:05:35 | 0:05:37 | |
Ooh, I like you! | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
Hello. Ray Holstead, Ray's Sandwich Place. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:41 | |
-Yes, of course, Ray. How do you do? -Fine. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
I'm Charles Woliner. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:44 | |
I've judged every Miss Pawnee Pageant for the last 30 years. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
I made Jessica. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:49 | |
Well, Tom and I are very happy to be here. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
And I'm sure between the five of us, | 0:05:52 | 0:05:54 | |
we will choose the most well-rounded, | 0:05:54 | 0:05:56 | |
intelligent, modern and forward-thinking woman | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
to represent our fine town. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Right, Tom? Tom? | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
You don't believe me? Watch. | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
34 C, 36 B, 34 B, 34 D. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:09 | |
32 A? How'd you get in here? | 0:06:09 | 0:06:11 | |
I'm just kidding. You're perfect, | 0:06:12 | 0:06:14 | |
each and every one of you. God bless. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:15 | |
Here they are, your candidates for Miss Pawnee. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
Well, let's meet the girls, shall we? | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
First up, please welcome April Ludgate. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:32 | |
Hello, I'm April Ludgate. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
I'm 20 years old. | 0:06:43 | 0:06:46 | |
I like people, | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
places and things! | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
And Pawnee is my favourite place in the world! | 0:06:53 | 0:06:57 | |
Next up, please welcome Susan Gleever. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
Hi, everyone. I'm Susan. I'm a history major at Indiana State, | 0:07:02 | 0:07:07 | |
I play classical piano, and I volunteer at the Children's Hospital. | 0:07:07 | 0:07:11 | |
Thank you, Susan. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
She's good. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:16 | |
Next, Trish Ianetta. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
CHEERING | 0:07:18 | 0:07:19 | |
Hi, y'all. I'm Trish. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
I'm 22 years old, I've been on YouTube. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:29 | |
I just... I love to hang out with my friends, I love to laugh, | 0:07:29 | 0:07:32 | |
I love the summertime and going to the beach, | 0:07:32 | 0:07:36 | |
and I love wearing bikinis at the beach | 0:07:36 | 0:07:38 | |
with everyone there. I just want everyone... | 0:07:38 | 0:07:40 | |
Well, you know, they can't all be winners. | 0:07:40 | 0:07:43 | |
Are y'all having a good time? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:44 | |
CHEERING | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
Looks like we got a frontrunner, guys! | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
And now it's time for our ever popular talent competition, | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
where our ladies will each demonstrate their excellent skills. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:01 | |
Here we have Leslie's custom scorecard, with categories such as, | 0:08:01 | 0:08:07 | |
presentation, intelligence, knowledge of herstory, | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
fruitful gestures, je ne sais quoi, | 0:08:11 | 0:08:14 | |
and something called "The Naomi Wolf Factor." | 0:08:14 | 0:08:18 | |
And our first one up is Trish Ianetta, whose talent is baton. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
MUSIC STARTS | 0:08:21 | 0:08:22 | |
My girl Trish is talented. | 0:08:31 | 0:08:33 | |
She's not even twirling the baton. | 0:08:33 | 0:08:35 | |
MICROPHONE HUMS | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
I'm going to do impressions. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
Oh, celebrity impressions. That's wild. Wild stuff. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
Yeah. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
This is an impression of my sister. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
Hi, I'm Natalie. I love Ritalin and have low self-esteem. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:56 | |
Thank you. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:03 | |
This is an impression of my boss, Leslie Knope. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
Women should do everything. Check out my four-color pen. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:10 | |
Hey, everybody. Listen up while I talk about some really important stuff. | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
Parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, Michelle Obama, parks. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
Gay penguins, parks, sugar, parks. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:16 | |
-She got me. She got me good. -She got... | 0:09:17 | 0:09:21 | |
# Ooh | 0:09:21 | 0:09:23 | |
# It's so good it's so good it's so good it's so good it's so good... # | 0:09:24 | 0:09:29 | |
CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC | 0:09:31 | 0:09:32 | |
I'm texting Trish to tell her how good she did earlier. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:43 | |
No, Susan isn't a perfect 10. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
But in my mind, Susan is the perfect Miss Pawnee. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:50 | |
Her values are strong, her commitment to her job is very admirable, | 0:09:50 | 0:09:54 | |
she has a real sense of... | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
Hey, hey! Over here. | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
How's it going in here? | 0:10:02 | 0:10:03 | |
Good. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:04 | |
I hooked your toilet up to your shower. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
That's what you wanted, right? | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
-Yes. -Excellent. | 0:10:08 | 0:10:09 | |
Was that Andy? | 0:10:17 | 0:10:19 | |
Andy? | 0:10:26 | 0:10:27 | |
I know you're in there because I can see you through the screen. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
Ann! Hey! What's up? What are you doing? | 0:10:37 | 0:10:41 | |
Do you live down here? | 0:10:42 | 0:10:44 | |
What? | 0:10:45 | 0:10:46 | |
What? Yes. | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you live down here. | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
Oh, my God. I can't believe this is happening! | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
What? I can't be at my house | 0:10:55 | 0:10:56 | |
and see my ex-boyfriend living in a hole in my backyard like a gopher. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:01 | |
That's so weird, Andy. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:03 | |
Listen, I have been trying really hard not to bother you. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
Like, when you had that barbecue last week, | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
I didn't come up, even though it smelled so good. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
You've been here a whole week? | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Yes. One week only. | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
Oh, I guess... I guess that's the office you were telling me about | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
that you go to work to every day. Excellent. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
Listen. Are we going to talk about anything other than the lies that I told you? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:25 | |
I can't do this right now. I have a guy fixing my bathroom. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
I got to go. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:29 | |
That's cool. I got to zoom out, too, cos I have some people coming over. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:32 | |
So, why don't you call first next time? | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
You know the way out. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:36 | |
All right, it's time now for the dreaded Q&A. | 0:11:37 | 0:11:40 | |
And the first question goes to Tom Haverford. | 0:11:40 | 0:11:43 | |
Yes, I have a question for the hot one. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
First off, I just want to say I'm a little bit surprised, | 0:11:46 | 0:11:49 | |
because I didn't think angels could fly so low. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:51 | |
Thank you. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:54 | |
You truly are a beautiful, beautiful woman. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:57 | |
You're so funny. | 0:11:58 | 0:11:59 | |
You're funny. You're funny. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:02 | |
Do you have a question, Tom? | 0:12:02 | 0:12:04 | |
OK, I have a real question, if you don't mind, Tom. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:07 | |
Trish, Alexis de Tocqueville called America "The Great Experiment." | 0:12:07 | 0:12:11 | |
What can we do as citizens to improve on that experiment? | 0:12:11 | 0:12:15 | |
Well, uh, I think that America is the land of the free, | 0:12:16 | 0:12:23 | |
which is a wonderful thing, | 0:12:23 | 0:12:25 | |
and also the brave, where people can live, | 0:12:25 | 0:12:29 | |
and no-one can ever take that away from you and it never gives up. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:34 | |
But the high birthing rate of immigrants frightens me. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:38 | |
No offence to anyone out there, | 0:12:38 | 0:12:39 | |
but if it were up to me and my family, | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
I would actually call it "Our-merica," | 0:12:42 | 0:12:44 | |
and not "Their-merica." Thank you. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:12:47 | 0:12:48 | |
Don't applaud that. No, she didn't... | 0:12:49 | 0:12:51 | |
She didn't answer my question. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
I'm sorry, you don't think it's weird | 0:12:54 | 0:12:55 | |
that my ex-boyfriend lives in a tent | 0:12:55 | 0:12:57 | |
in the pit outside my house? | 0:12:57 | 0:12:59 | |
It's not ideal. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
Maybe you should try to relax. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:04 | |
Maybe take one of those Ativans | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
I saw in the medicine cabinet. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
-Dude! -Yeah, I peeked. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:09 | |
I also didn't see any toothpaste. Do you not use toothpaste? | 0:13:09 | 0:13:12 | |
I mean, I always knew he was lazy, | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
but this is, like, a new low for him. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:17 | |
I feel like we should invite him inside. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
Have you not been listening to anything I just said? | 0:13:21 | 0:13:22 | |
I don't know, it's just... It's raining outside, | 0:13:22 | 0:13:25 | |
and he's living in a pit, you know? | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
OK, folks, just a couple more contestants, | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
and then the judges will decide | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
our next Miss Pawnee, a winner of 600 in gift certificates | 0:13:34 | 0:13:38 | |
to Big Archie's Sporting Goods and Emerson Fencing Company. | 0:13:38 | 0:13:42 | |
What? We don't get cash? This is for a fence? | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
Well, it won't cover a whole fence. But it will defray the cost considerably! | 0:13:44 | 0:13:48 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:49 | |
I quit. I quit. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
OK, I guess she really is quitting. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
No, I didn't win. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:00 | |
But at least I didn't make any new friendships. | 0:14:00 | 0:14:04 | |
So, how long do we have to pretend to deliberate | 0:14:04 | 0:14:07 | |
until we go back out there? | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
What do you mean? | 0:14:10 | 0:14:12 | |
We're all in agreement. The hot one, by a landslide. | 0:14:12 | 0:14:15 | |
Well, her name is Trish. And I don't think we should rush this, you know? | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
What is there to talk about? I mean, I thought Trish was just adorable. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
-Well, take Susan, for example. -I think... | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Susan Boring Stories? No. It's Trish. Let's go back out there. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:29 | |
OK, hold on, everyone. Hold on. Everyone, wait, wait, wait. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:33 | |
Look, whoever we choose | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
is going to represent the ideal woman for a year. | 0:14:35 | 0:14:38 | |
She'll be someone that little girls | 0:14:38 | 0:14:39 | |
in South Central Indiana look up to. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Now, nobody leaves this room until we discuss all of it. OK? | 0:14:41 | 0:14:45 | |
Consider yourselves sequestered. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
I'm a judge, so I don't want to sound partial. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
But Trish will win this pageant over my dead body. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
Look, I am the only one here | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
who has entered and won this contest in the past. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
And I think Trish is a no-brainer. | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
Jessica, may I ask, what was your talent? | 0:15:01 | 0:15:03 | |
Oh, I packed a suitcase. | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
I have to say, Leslie does make a good point. | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
Trish is not the brightest bulb in the bunch. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:10 | |
Yes, Ray. Good, I like what you're saying. Let's keep talking. | 0:15:10 | 0:15:13 | |
Just stand over there and don't drip on anything. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
Is Mark the guy who's "fixing your shower"? | 0:15:23 | 0:15:26 | |
I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a ton of porn. | 0:15:26 | 0:15:29 | |
And I know what "fixing your shower" means. | 0:15:29 | 0:15:31 | |
-Andy... -Sorry, you guys are on a date. That's cool. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
-Andy? -No, it's all right. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
Don't let me interrupt your date. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
Keep eating. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:39 | |
I already ate. I'm super full. I don't... I don't want any. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:41 | |
OK, so, it's still 3-2 for Trish. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:46 | |
Guys, all I ask is that you look into your hearts, | 0:15:46 | 0:15:51 | |
and think, really think, about what you've seen | 0:15:51 | 0:15:54 | |
and ask yourselves, | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
"Who is the most impressive woman here tonight?" | 0:15:56 | 0:15:58 | |
It's the hot one. Trish Ianetta! | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:16:02 | 0:16:03 | |
These are amazing. Do you... | 0:16:13 | 0:16:15 | |
Do you put a little hot sauce on these or something? | 0:16:15 | 0:16:18 | |
A good chef never reveals her secrets. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:20 | |
It's hot sauce. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:21 | |
Ann is an extraordinary cook. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
Mmm. Memories. | 0:16:27 | 0:16:31 | |
Do you want some more? Are you hungry still? | 0:16:31 | 0:16:33 | |
You know what's funny? | 0:16:33 | 0:16:34 | |
I was just sitting over here on the couch and I was thinking, | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
that there was once a time | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
when Mark used to be the stranger in the house. | 0:16:38 | 0:16:40 | |
And now it's me. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
Excuse me, everyone. Why don't we just take a moment | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
to give a round of applause to all the contestants this evening? Yes. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:54 | |
Especially Susan. | 0:16:56 | 0:16:57 | |
This isn't the first time that Susans have lost to Trishes, | 0:16:58 | 0:17:03 | |
and it won't be the last. | 0:17:03 | 0:17:05 | |
Susan and I will continue on until the women of Pawnee | 0:17:05 | 0:17:09 | |
are judged not by the flatness of their tummies, | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
but by the contents of their brains. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:14 | |
And, Trish, I may not have voted for you, | 0:17:16 | 0:17:20 | |
but now is the time for us to come together. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
I hope you honour this crown with dignity, and a devotion to all... | 0:17:24 | 0:17:27 | |
-TOGETHER: -One, two, three! | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
< LAUGHTER | 0:17:34 | 0:17:35 | |
As usual, Ann, a delicious meal. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:39 | |
Are we doing anything in the way of dessert or coffee? | 0:17:40 | 0:17:43 | |
WE are leaving. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:44 | |
OK, I get it. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:48 | |
Don't worry. I'm very good at picking up signals. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:51 | |
Let's go, Mark. | 0:17:51 | 0:17:53 | |
No, dummy. Just you. | 0:17:53 | 0:17:54 | |
OK. All right. | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
Take care of yourself. | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
Just don't worry about me, Ann. OK? | 0:18:02 | 0:18:04 | |
I'll be fine. | 0:18:06 | 0:18:07 | |
That went really well! | 0:18:10 | 0:18:14 | |
We had dinner! I got to see her! | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
Oh, God, I was so tempted to look back at her. | 0:18:17 | 0:18:19 | |
Was she looking? | 0:18:19 | 0:18:21 | |
I had to walk so slow. | 0:18:21 | 0:18:22 | |
A good day. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:26 | |
Well, well, well, look who's here. It's Officer John McClane. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:31 | |
Welcome to the party, pal. | 0:18:31 | 0:18:33 | |
Who's that? | 0:18:33 | 0:18:34 | |
Die Hard. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
The battery? | 0:18:36 | 0:18:37 | |
Hey. What are you doing here? | 0:18:37 | 0:18:38 | |
Well, you know the other day I asked you if you wanted to have coffee? | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
-Yeah. -You said yes. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:42 | |
-Yes. -OK, and then afterwards, | 0:18:42 | 0:18:44 | |
I saw you again, | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
you kind of acted like you didn't want to have coffee any more. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:48 | |
-We left it kind of open-ended. -We did. | 0:18:48 | 0:18:50 | |
-And that's made me uncomfortable. -OK. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:52 | |
So I thought I'd come in and ask you, and just get some clearance on this. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:55 | |
Dave, I like you. | 0:18:55 | 0:18:56 | |
I like you, too. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:57 | |
OK, so, we'll get coffee, then. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
But I'm just busy. Right now, my schedule is just so... | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
-..full. -OK. OK, I get it. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
Look, I'm not a guy who plays games. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:09 | |
OK, I just came to tell you that I like you, and I like coffee and I... | 0:19:09 | 0:19:12 | |
If you want to get some coffee, here's my number. | 0:19:12 | 0:19:15 | |
Hey, coming through, buddy. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
Hey. I got your message. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:29 | |
Hey. Thanks for coming. | 0:19:29 | 0:19:31 | |
Look, I'd love to go out with you. How about Friday for dinner? | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
Yeah? Great. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
Hey, will Sandra Day O'Connor and Michelle Obama | 0:19:37 | 0:19:40 | |
and Condoleezza Rice and Nancy Pelosi... | 0:19:40 | 0:19:43 | |
..are they going to join us? | 0:19:44 | 0:19:46 | |
-No, they will not be joining us. -OK, well, good, Cos I don't happen to agree with | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
Miss Pelosi's views | 0:19:50 | 0:19:51 | |
about the Troubled Assets Relief Programme. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:54 | |
Hmm. | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
I looked that up to impress you. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:57 | |
I figured. | 0:19:57 | 0:19:58 | |
Yeah. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
If you guys like grilling, you want to come over and use my grill... | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
Look, let me do you a favour. Take a key. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:05 | |
Just come by, grill up whatever you want. | 0:20:05 | 0:20:07 | |
This is one of my favourite pick-up strategies. | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
I'm constantly giving one of my keys. | 0:20:09 | 0:20:11 | |
This is your house key? | 0:20:11 | 0:20:12 | |
Yeah. I just happened to have a spare. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:13 | |
Just come by, go for a dip, whenever you want. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:15 | |
So far, none of them have shown up. | 0:20:15 | 0:20:16 | |
That's a very appealing offer, thank you. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:20 | |
Matter of time. | 0:20:20 | 0:20:21 | |
Hey, Craig. | 0:20:21 | 0:20:22 | |
Hey, Tommy. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
-50 more copies, please. -You got it. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:27 | |
I have been robbed twice. | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 |