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Today we are welcoming a delegation | 0:00:02 | 0:00:03 | |
from the parks department of our sister city, | 0:00:03 | 0:00:05 | |
Boraqua, Venezuela. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
Our photo op with the mayor is tomorrow at 3PM, | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
so I'm going to need your suggestions about my wardrobe ASAP. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:14 | |
I told you, gold sequin sweatpants. | 0:00:14 | 0:00:16 | |
Also, remember, everyone, Venezuela is a poor country. | 0:00:16 | 0:00:20 | |
These men are not used to the wealth | 0:00:20 | 0:00:23 | |
and flash that we have here in central Indiana. | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
Our only job over the next two days is to make these men feel at home. | 0:00:26 | 0:00:31 | |
Yes, I am a little nervous. | 0:00:31 | 0:00:32 | |
Pawnee has kind of a tricky history | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
with welcoming foreign visitors. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:37 | |
But things have changed. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:40 | |
Our guests are going to stay in a motel, for sure. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
Oh, God! What if they don't speak English? | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
April, you know Spanish, right? | 0:01:07 | 0:01:08 | |
Oh, good. Excellent. | 0:01:13 | 0:01:15 | |
My mom's Puerto Rican. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:17 | |
That's why I'm so lively and colourful. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
Oh, my God. Here they are. | 0:01:20 | 0:01:22 | |
OK, everybody, clean up. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
Pull your thing up. | 0:01:23 | 0:01:24 | |
Everyone, just be...good. Jerry, hit it. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
TRADITIONAL MUSIC PLAYS | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
LESLIE: 'This is my baby.' | 0:01:29 | 0:01:30 | |
'I've put this whole trip together, | 0:01:30 | 0:01:32 | |
'and let me tell you something, it's not been easy, you know? | 0:01:32 | 0:01:34 | |
'How do you fit all of Pawnee in a 48-hour visit?' | 0:01:34 | 0:01:39 | |
I had to drop the Rock and Roll Bowling Alley from our itinerary. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:42 | |
That was one of the most difficult phone calls I've ever had to make. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
Hello, most excellent representatives | 0:01:47 | 0:01:49 | |
of the great Parks Department of Boraqua, Venezuela. | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
I am Deputy Director of Parks and Recreation, | 0:01:52 | 0:01:55 | |
and Chairwoman of the Departmental | 0:01:55 | 0:01:56 | |
Ad-Hoc Sub-Committee for Pit Beautification, Leslie Knope. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:59 | |
It's a pleasure to meet you. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
I'm Vice Director Ejecutivo | 0:02:01 | 0:02:02 | |
del Diputado del Departamento de Parques, | 0:02:02 | 0:02:04 | |
Raul Alejandro Bastilla Pedro de Veloso de Maldonado. | 0:02:04 | 0:02:07 | |
I'm Tom. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:09 | |
These are my colleagues, Antonio Rivera-Fonseca, | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
Minister of Small Fountains. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:13 | |
And Elvis Correja, Administrator of Hedges. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:17 | |
And he is? | 0:02:17 | 0:02:18 | |
Pay no attention to him. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
He is our intern, Jhonny. He is worthless. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
We are quite tired from our trip. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
Could you have your servant collect our bags, please? | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
- What'd he call me? - Tom, please. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
It's a different culture, OK? Just be a good host. Do this for me? | 0:02:28 | 0:02:30 | |
Fine. | 0:02:30 | 0:02:31 | |
Yes. We will get our pathetic servant boy | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
to fetch your luggage. Go, boy! | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
Now, I know you gentlemen had a long flight, | 0:02:37 | 0:02:39 | |
but I have prepared a welcome party in your honour. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:42 | |
Excellent. I like to party. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
Well, my job is to see to your every need. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
Do we just select the woman we desire? | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
I will take the large black one. | 0:02:51 | 0:02:53 | |
- Interesting choice. - What? | 0:02:53 | 0:02:54 | |
Do you have some kind of book with photos of the women available to us? | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
If not, I will also take the sexy black one. | 0:02:58 | 0:03:02 | |
I am not surprised at all. I've been to South America. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:05 | |
I did very well there. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
I think there might've been a translation problem. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:10 | |
When I said party, I meant one that did not include sex for pay. | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
But one that had food and drink and dancing, that sort of thing. | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
So, no women? | 0:03:17 | 0:03:18 | |
No. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
Off to kind of a weird start. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:23 | |
We have so much to learn from each other. | 0:03:23 | 0:03:25 | |
What kind of birds do you guys eat? | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
Chickens. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
Us, too! Amazing. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
What is this? | 0:03:32 | 0:03:33 | |
Water, I'm sorry. Agua. | 0:03:33 | 0:03:36 | |
In our country, government officials drink only bottled water. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
I can assure you that that water's very safe to drink. | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
No. Bottled, please. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:44 | |
Send the boy. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:45 | |
Tom, go get water. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:47 | |
Leslie, come on! | 0:03:47 | 0:03:48 | |
For your troubles. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
You got it, chief! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:52 | |
Hey, April, can you help me out a second... | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Go away, Jerry. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:09 | |
OK. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:10 | |
GASPS AND CAMERA CLICKS | 0:04:14 | 0:04:17 | |
This is a gold plated replica of the gun Hugo Chavez used | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
in the 1992 Socialist Revolution. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
It is a gift. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:25 | |
This gun truly symbolizes | 0:04:25 | 0:04:26 | |
the blossoming peace between our two nations. | 0:04:26 | 0:04:30 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:04:30 | 0:04:32 | |
'A key aspect to diplomacy is gift-giving.' | 0:04:32 | 0:04:34 | |
The gift has to be nice enough to honour and respect the guest, | 0:04:34 | 0:04:38 | |
but not so nice that it shames him. | 0:04:38 | 0:04:40 | |
Plus, it needs to represent the local culture. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:42 | |
And I found the perfect thing. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
A bottle of high-fructose corn syrup, | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
made right here in Pawnee's own Sweetums factory. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:50 | |
Sweetums! If you can't beat 'em, Sweetums! Since 1891. | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
And eight and a half dozen rubber baby bottle nipples, | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
also made here in Pawnee. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Kernston's Rubber Nipples. Tastes like the real thing. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:03 | 0:05:06 | |
Yes. And we too are pleased to be here in your dirty alleyway. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:13 | |
We thank you for the container of sap, and the bag of garbage. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:17 | |
His English isn't perfect, | 0:05:17 | 0:05:18 | |
so I don't think he realises how insulting he's being. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
We're also sister cities with Kaesong, North Korea. | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
Their town is far nicer. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
That's fine, it's my job. I'm a diplomat. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
I'm not supposed to take it personally. | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
We haven't been here for a very long time, | 0:05:31 | 0:05:33 | |
but what we have seen is, | 0:05:33 | 0:05:34 | |
really, from the bottom of our hearts, truly depressing. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Really, really sad stuff. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
I mean, that's why people respect Hillary Clinton so much. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:41 | |
Cos nobody takes a punch like her. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
She's the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world. | 0:05:43 | 0:05:47 | |
It's funny because Antonio said to me, "Can we turn this car around | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
"and say we're sick or something, or that we lost our way?" | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
Of course, that would be rude to you. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:56 | |
What is your profession? | 0:05:56 | 0:05:57 | |
I'm a city planner. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
This city was planned?! HE SNIGGERS | 0:05:59 | 0:06:02 | |
On the drive in, I saw a tattoo parlour next to a school, | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
next to a Taco Bell. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
It looks like it was designed by a very stupid rodent. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
He's actually a pretty smart rodent. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:11 | |
- Oh! - Ah! | 0:06:11 | 0:06:14 | |
You have a quick wit. | 0:06:14 | 0:06:16 | |
You know what? I've changed my mind, I will have you for the evening. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:19 | |
Oh, boy (!) | 0:06:19 | 0:06:21 | |
MARK: She'll get back to you on that. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:23 | |
Politically, no, I don't support Chavez. | 0:06:23 | 0:06:26 | |
I despise him and everything that he does. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:29 | |
On the other hand, this is a pretty sweet-ass gun. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
The banana you wanted, senor. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
Ah! Finally. You peel. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
What? | 0:06:40 | 0:06:42 | |
With your hands, you peel the banana. | 0:06:42 | 0:06:44 | |
OK! Let's get started, shall we? | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
I have a full day of activities planned. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:51 | |
I would like to see where the children are fed the sweeteners. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
A restaurant? | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
American children are fattened more efficiently | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
than any other children in the world. | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
I mean, they're like little basketballs. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
I mean, they're huge, little porkers. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:03 | |
OK. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:04 | |
This is our thermometer! | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
I'm trying to turn a giant dirt pit into a community park. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
But I need 35,000, and the city doesn't have enough money in its budget. | 0:07:09 | 0:07:14 | |
I do not understand. | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
You've never had a budget shortage? | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
THEY SNIGGER | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
No. | 0:07:22 | 0:07:23 | |
Venezuela is blessed with massive oil reserves. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
Massive, I mean, tremendous, like, you would not believe. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
Hmm. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:29 | |
The state sells the oil, and keeps all the money, | 0:07:29 | 0:07:33 | |
and we build whatever we want. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:35 | |
Wow, well. Now, I do not understand. | 0:07:35 | 0:07:39 | |
SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
I feel my English was very clear. Shall I repeat? | 0:07:43 | 0:07:46 | |
Venezuela, Venezuela, my country, | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
has a lot of oil. Oil is food for cars. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
The Venezuelans are a very confident people. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
OK, look, I know these guys didn't turn out to be exactly | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
how we thought they would be. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:00 | |
You said they might not know what toilet paper is. | 0:08:00 | 0:08:03 | |
I'm calling an audible. We can't be humble anymore. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:06 | |
What we're going to do is, we're going to take them to our best park | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
and we're going to blow their socks off. | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
Yeah, I don't think that's going to blow their socks off. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
Fine, we'll go further. We'll take them to Chicago | 0:08:12 | 0:08:14 | |
and pretend it's part of Pawnee. Or New York. Or London! | 0:08:14 | 0:08:17 | |
No, wait, the money's different there. | 0:08:17 | 0:08:18 | |
They'll figure it out. OK, never mind. We'll go to the park. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
Everybody doing OK back there? Comfortable? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
Well, the motel we're putting you up in is really nice. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:30 | |
You can watch TBS. Do you have TBS in Venezuela? | 0:08:30 | 0:08:34 | |
I have everything in Venezuela. | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
I have four satellite dishes on my estate. | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
We get 14,000 channels. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
14 THOUSAND. | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
I already know who wins Project Runway. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
Wow. I'm coming over to your house then. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:49 | |
I see what you're getting at, but no, thank you. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
I am still primarily interested in the large black woman. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
N-n... | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
Here we are! Take it in, boys. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:00 | |
This is an embarrassment to America. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:02 | |
I'm sorry? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:03 | |
You are right to want to correct this. | 0:09:03 | 0:09:05 | |
Correct what? | 0:09:05 | 0:09:06 | |
This is the giant pit of dirt you were telling us about, is it not? | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
The one you want to turn into a park? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
No, no. This is already a park. | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
And it's one of our best-loved parks. | 0:09:14 | 0:09:16 | |
Why are the trees so small? | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
They're not THAT small. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
Besides, size doesn't matter. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
Yes, it does. Our trees are huge. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
We build tunnels through them. | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
The parks in Boraqua are far superior. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
The park in my hometown, El Parque del Este, | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
we have a monorail, and we have an aquarium, | 0:09:46 | 0:09:49 | |
and we have the Jaripa Amphitheatre. It's huge. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
Lady Gaga played there last week. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
Great. Well, we don't have Lady Gaga. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:57 | |
And I don't think she's going to come here | 0:09:57 | 0:09:58 | |
unless her career takes a very bad turn. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:01 | |
But we have something more beautiful than Lady Gaga. Democracy. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
'I'm going to show you an example of that. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:06 | |
'Let's go to a town hall meeting.' | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
Elvis, Oh Henry! | 0:10:09 | 0:10:11 | |
Raul, Butterfinger. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
Antonio, Nestle Crunch with the crispy rice removed. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:18 | |
Weird choice, but for you, I got it done. | 0:10:18 | 0:10:22 | |
Gracias, senor. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
Gracias. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:26 | |
'I find it incredibly demeaning.' | 0:10:26 | 0:10:28 | |
But guess what? | 0:10:28 | 0:10:29 | |
# Cash money! | 0:10:29 | 0:10:30 | |
# I'm gonna make it rain! # | 0:10:30 | 0:10:33 | |
I'm just going to pick that up real quick. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:36 | |
So, are you guys ready? We're about to start. | 0:10:36 | 0:10:39 | |
This is where you have your meetings? | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
Well, the location rotates. | 0:10:41 | 0:10:42 | |
Sometimes we have them on the volleyball courts. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:45 | |
THEY SNIGGER | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
Where do you hold your meetings? | 0:10:47 | 0:10:48 | |
Well, now that you ask, | 0:10:48 | 0:10:50 | |
we usually rotate as well between different fortresses | 0:10:50 | 0:10:52 | |
and citadels, and palaces. | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
Hmm. We don't need palaces. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:57 | |
The ideas are what shine in our meetings. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
What are you?! Some kind of moron?! | 0:11:00 | 0:11:02 | |
Why don't you have hand dryers in the park bathrooms? | 0:11:02 | 0:11:05 | |
They're so much more sanitary than paper towels! | 0:11:05 | 0:11:08 | |
Anyone knows that! | 0:11:08 | 0:11:09 | |
My dog went to one of your parks and ate another dog's faeces. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:13 | |
And I'm going to sue you for that. | 0:11:13 | 0:11:15 | |
- How do you like it? - No! | 0:11:15 | 0:11:17 | |
How do you like that?! | 0:11:17 | 0:11:19 | |
Now imagine you're holding coffee. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
'This is outrageous.' | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Where are the armed men who come in to take the protesters away? | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
Where are they? | 0:11:25 | 0:11:26 | |
This kind of behaviour is never tolerated in Boraqua. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
You shout like that, they put you in jail. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:32 | |
Right away. No trial, no nothing. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
Journalists? We have a special jail for journalists. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:38 | |
You're stealing? Right to jail. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:39 | |
You're playing music too loud? Right to jail. Right away. | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
You're driving too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:44 | |
You're charging too high prices for sweaters, | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
glasses, you right to jail. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
You undercook fish, believe it or not, jail. | 0:11:49 | 0:11:52 | |
You overcook chicken, also jail. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:55 | |
Undercook, overcook. | 0:11:55 | 0:11:56 | |
You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up? | 0:11:56 | 0:11:58 | |
Believe it or not, jail, right away. | 0:11:58 | 0:11:59 | |
We have the best patients in the world, because of jail. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:03 | |
Well, it was tough going, but it was lively. | 0:12:04 | 0:12:06 | |
What did you think of the open forum? | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
This meeting of ugly people yelling? It is like torture. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:12 | |
That's one perspective. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 | |
In Boraqua, the government moves like a hot knife through butter. | 0:12:14 | 0:12:17 | |
Not as this here, listening to people yelling, | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
these fat faces turning all red? | 0:12:19 | 0:12:21 | |
Are you kidding me? We're like kings! | 0:12:21 | 0:12:23 | |
We walk down the street and they treat us like rock stars. | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
We answer to nobody. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:28 | |
In a true Democracy, we believe that the input of our citizens | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
is extremely valuable. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:34 | |
Hey! These pretzels suck! | 0:12:34 | 0:12:37 | |
Thank you. See? | 0:12:37 | 0:12:39 | |
No wonder nothing ever gets done in this country. | 0:12:40 | 0:12:42 | |
Really? Nothing gets done? | 0:12:42 | 0:12:43 | |
Tell that to the Golden Gate Bridge. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
Or American Idol. Or the moon! | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
Oh, wait, you can't, Cos you've never been there. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
Look, this is not personal. | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
We just think that you are weak and your city is disgusting. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
I think you're rude. And I think you've been rude since you came here. | 0:12:55 | 0:12:59 | |
And I think that your medals are stupid and your uniform is lame, | 0:12:59 | 0:13:04 | |
and you guys want to marry Hugo Chavez! | 0:13:04 | 0:13:06 | |
Hey! Do not disrespect Chavez. | 0:13:06 | 0:13:10 | |
Stupid Chavez. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:11 | |
I just told you not to disrespect him. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
Good, I just did. | 0:13:13 | 0:13:14 | |
- That's twice. - I don't like Chavez. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:16 | |
Yes, you do. And do not disrespect him. | 0:13:16 | 0:13:17 | |
- No, I don't! - Yes, you do! | 0:13:17 | 0:13:19 | |
No, I don't, Raul! | 0:13:19 | 0:13:20 | |
Look, if you don't like it here, then go, OK, Raul? | 0:13:20 | 0:13:24 | |
- Great. - Good. Shut up. | 0:13:24 | 0:13:26 | |
We're shutting up, yeah. And we'll go. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:29 | |
Vamos. | 0:13:29 | 0:13:30 | |
- Those are our pens. - Right. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:32 | |
- We don't even need them. - Great, then don't take them. | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
We didn't. | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
They started it. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
Look, those guys were rude, arrogant, narrow-minded, class-A jerks. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:46 | |
Now, I may have lost my cool, but they deserved it. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:48 | |
OK. I'll call the mayor and cancel the photo op. | 0:13:48 | 0:13:51 | |
- No! Don't do that! - OK. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:53 | |
Then call the Venezuelans and apologise. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
No, they were rude, arrogant, narrow-minded, class-A jerks! | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
OK. Then I'll call the mayor and cancel the photo op. | 0:13:58 | 0:14:01 | |
No! | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
Do you see the problem here? | 0:14:03 | 0:14:05 | |
Yes! But I don't want to! | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
LESLIE: 'Yesterday I was tough and direct, | 0:14:07 | 0:14:09 | |
and today I have to be charming.' | 0:14:09 | 0:14:11 | |
Thank you! | 0:14:11 | 0:14:12 | |
'Basically, yesterday I was Hillary Clinton, and today I'm Bill.' | 0:14:12 | 0:14:14 | |
Gracias! | 0:14:14 | 0:14:15 | |
Can I get anyone anything to drink before we start? | 0:14:15 | 0:14:18 | |
- Coffee? Brandy? - I'd love some coffee. | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
Anything, guys? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:21 | |
- Some nuts? - I'll have some nuts. | 0:14:21 | 0:14:23 | |
- Gummi Bears? - Sure. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:24 | |
- Apple crisps? - Yeah. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
- Granola bars? - I'll take those. | 0:14:26 | 0:14:27 | |
Nothing? Sure? | 0:14:27 | 0:14:29 | |
OK. I'll be right out there if you need me. | 0:14:29 | 0:14:32 | |
Well, Raul, gentlemen, thank you for coming. | 0:14:32 | 0:14:35 | |
Well, I would just like to first say, | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
I am so sorry for blowing up yesterday. | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
It was completely uncalled for. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Well, we are sorry as well. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:43 | |
We were very tired from our long journey. | 0:14:43 | 0:14:45 | |
Also, we were a bit jealous. | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
Our colleagues from Caracas are visiting their sister city of Miami. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:50 | |
Yeah. They've been partying with Dwyane Wade. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
They sent us all these photos and QuickTime files. | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
I mean, you have to see this place Miami. Just gorgeous, everything. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:59 | |
There's so much soul and life everywhere! | 0:14:59 | 0:15:01 | |
Every little tiny street, so much culture and history! | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
And the cars! People really take care of their cars there. | 0:15:04 | 0:15:06 | |
You notice that and they're a little older, | 0:15:06 | 0:15:08 | |
but still just beautiful. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:09 | |
Really, really nice. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:11 | |
And the food, so spicy and wonderful. We could not even believe it. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:16 | |
But Pawnee is really good as well. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:19 | |
Yes. In any case, I made a few phone calls, | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
and the government of Venezuela has authorised | 0:15:22 | 0:15:26 | |
a special gift for you. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
HE CHUCKLES | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
35,000? | 0:15:36 | 0:15:37 | |
Yes, it is to fill your pit to start to build a park. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:40 | |
No, no, we can't take this. | 0:15:42 | 0:15:44 | |
Yes, yes, yes. Please. We will see you later today at the photo opportunity. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:48 | |
And I think we're good here. No? | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
- Somos todos bien? - Bueno | 0:15:50 | 0:15:52 | |
OK. OK, gracias. | 0:15:52 | 0:15:55 | |
Good meeting. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:57 | |
I don't know. Maybe I should return the money. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
It's from a foreign government, I don't really trust these guys. | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
- I'm going to return the money. - Are you crazy? | 0:16:04 | 0:16:06 | |
You could buy a low-end Lexus with that money. | 0:16:06 | 0:16:08 | |
Or, you could build a park with that money. | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Let's look at the pros and cons. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:11 | |
Pro, we could fill in the pit and build a park. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:13 | |
Con, we might be filling it in with dirty money. | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
Pro, 35,000 worth of dirty money. | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
Con, not quite sure why that's a pro. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:19 | |
Pro, we can fill in the pit. | 0:16:19 | 0:16:21 | |
Con, Ann already said that. | 0:16:21 | 0:16:23 | |
Ugh! Pro and con never works! | 0:16:23 | 0:16:25 | |
Pro, yes, it does! | 0:16:25 | 0:16:27 | |
Ugh...I don't...Ugh! | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
Fine. Fine. We'll keep the money. OK? | 0:16:33 | 0:16:34 | |
Everybody happy? Jerry, are you happy? | 0:16:34 | 0:16:36 | |
- What did I do? - Meeting adjourned, Jerry! | 0:16:36 | 0:16:38 | |
Can I just say, I still feel kind of weird about this money. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:15 | |
OK. Look, I know they've given you a hard time. | 0:17:15 | 0:17:17 | |
When the mayor gets here, we'll do the photo op, | 0:17:17 | 0:17:19 | |
they'll be out of our hair, you'll get to build your park. | 0:17:19 | 0:17:22 | |
Ah! Leslie! Hello. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
Raul. The mayor will be with us in just a few minutes. | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
If you don't mind, we would like to take | 0:17:28 | 0:17:29 | |
a video of you to show our superiors. | 0:17:29 | 0:17:31 | |
OK, sure. | 0:17:31 | 0:17:32 | |
Do you have the cheque that we gave to you? | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
Ah, yes, I do. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
OK, you're going to show it to the camera | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
and say how much it is and what it is for. | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
OK, this is a cheque for 35,000 and it is to build a park. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:47 | |
How generous! | 0:17:47 | 0:17:48 | |
Yes, it's really generous. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:50 | |
Now say, "Viva Venezuela!" | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
Viva Venezuela! | 0:17:53 | 0:17:54 | |
Viva Chavez! | 0:17:54 | 0:17:56 | |
Thank you, Venezuela! | 0:17:57 | 0:17:58 | |
"Viva Chavez!" Say it! | 0:17:58 | 0:18:00 | |
Aw, come on. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:01 | |
I don't want to "Viva" that guy. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
We just gave you 35,000. That's worth one "Viva!" | 0:18:05 | 0:18:08 | |
SHE WHISPERS Viva Chavez. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:17 | |
Yes! Viva Chavez! | 0:18:17 | 0:18:18 | |
Gracias! | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
Yeah. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:21 | |
THEY TALK AMONGST THEMSELVES IN SPANISH | 0:18:21 | 0:18:25 | |
What is he saying? | 0:18:25 | 0:18:26 | |
Um... | 0:18:28 | 0:18:29 | |
They are very happy. | 0:18:29 | 0:18:30 | |
They say Hugo Chavez will love this video | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
because it is another success for their committee. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:37 | |
Committee? | 0:18:37 | 0:18:39 | |
Yeah. | 0:18:39 | 0:18:40 | |
They're a Committee to Humiliate and Shame America. | 0:18:40 | 0:18:44 | |
It will be a good video. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:46 | |
The Committee to Humiliate and Shame America? | 0:18:46 | 0:18:49 | |
Yes. It is Hugo Chavez's passion project. And we just had an idea. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:54 | |
Why don't you call the park after Chavez? | 0:18:54 | 0:18:56 | |
You know, you call it Hugo Chavez Park. | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
And you can have a nice, big fountain of his head, | 0:18:58 | 0:19:01 | |
so that when the water is coming out | 0:19:01 | 0:19:03 | |
he is spitting at you all the time. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:05 | |
You should write this down. | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
Viva America! Viva Pawnee! | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
Viva Mayor Walter Gunderson! | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
You have offended us! | 0:19:17 | 0:19:18 | |
You have offended the government of Boraqua! | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
You are no longer our sister. | 0:19:21 | 0:19:24 | |
Vamanos, rapido. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
LESLIE: 'No, America is not perfect.' | 0:19:26 | 0:19:28 | |
'But diplomacy isn't just sucking up and being a pushover. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:34 | |
'Sometimes you got to get tough.' | 0:19:34 | 0:19:36 | |
I am going to build that park myself, and it is going to be awesome. | 0:19:36 | 0:19:41 | |
And it's not going to have a fountain shaped like Hugo Chavez's head | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
spitting water all over everyone. | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
Unless that's what the people want. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
And that, sir, is democracy. | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
Leslie, come see this! | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
Check out this video April sent me. | 0:19:56 | 0:19:59 | |
'Hey, guys. I'm at Jhonny's place in Venezuela. | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
'It's OK, I guess. He has, like, five million rooms. | 0:20:02 | 0:20:06 | |
- 'And this is only his guesthouse.' - Holy cow! | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
'There's a lot of guys with guns here. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:10 | |
'It's better than my mom's house, I guess. | 0:20:10 | 0:20:13 | |
'So tell Leslie I don't know when I'm going to be back. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:16 | |
'Oh, and Donna's here.' | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
Hey, guys! Hola! | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 |