Numbers QI


Numbers

Sandi Toksvig runs the numbers with Colin Lane, Sarah Millican, Noel Fielding and Alan Davies.


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Transcript


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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hey!

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How nice!

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How lovely.

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Good evening.

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And welcome to QI, for a show all about numbers.

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Tonight, we will cross the divide and go forth and multiply,

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and in addition, we will subtract lots of points from Alan.

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So... LAUGHTER

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Let's meet our four fine figures. The rational Colin Lane...

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-CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

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..the complex Sarah Millican...

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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..the imaginary Noel Fielding...

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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..and the extremely random Alan Davies.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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So, if they would like to grab my attention,

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they can count on their buzzers and Colin goes...

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# One, two, three, four, five. #

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Sarah goes...

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# Five, four, three, two, one. #

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-That's pretty good.

-Ah, that's very good. Noel goes...

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# Two, four, six, eight. #

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And Alan goes...

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# ABC, ABC. #

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LAUGHTER

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So, here is question one.

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Which is the loneliest number?

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# Three, four, five. #

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-Yes?

-One?

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No.

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It's the obvious one, but it's not that one.

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So, maybe two is the loneliest number,

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because it's next to the one that gets talked about the most.

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And do you know what?

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I would make that entirely a correct answer

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if it wasn't so horribly wrong. No.

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-ALAN:

-Three is the magic number.

-Three is the magic number.

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Well, I've never tried, but so they say.

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LAUGHTER

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-SARAH:

-See, I was going to say two, as well,

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cos I just thought it depends on what your marriage is like.

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Yeah. LAUGHTER

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-NOEL:

-Is it 13, cos it's quite unlikely,

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so the other numbers don't want to go near it?

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LAUGHTER

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-OK, so it is an unpopular number.

-Nought.

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-No, it's quite a high number. So, there's a mathematician...

-100.

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-You're going in the right direction. NOEL:

-And 14.

-200.

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-No, we're not going to play this higher or lower.

-101.

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-79.

-102, 103, 104...110.

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-Yes!

-110?

-It's 110.

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-110.

-Alan gets the point.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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So, there's a mathematician called Alex Bellos

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and he wanted to find the world's favourite number.

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So, he asked a lot of people and 30,023 people responded.

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And the lowest whole number that nobody chose was 110.

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-It was everybody's least favourite number. AUDIENCE:

-Aw.

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So, QI has adopted it as our favourite number.

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-Yay!

-Yes.

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APPLAUSE

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That was a very, very lukewarm round of applause.

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You prefer number seven, don't you?

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CHEERING

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OK, well, why might you prefer number seven?

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That's a really interesting thing.

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-NOEL:

-Is it the lucky number?

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-It's the world's favoured number.

-Oh.

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That is the one that Alex Bellos discovered most people preferred.

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And, in fact, there was a National Lottery draw

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which rather bore this out.

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The 23rd of March 2016,

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five of the six numbers were multiples of seven, OK?

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So, there was 7, 14, 21, 35, and 42,

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and the other one was 41

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and so many people chose them,

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you got more money from matching four numbers

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than you did from matching five.

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So, four numbers you got £51 and five right you got £15.

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Anyway, have a look at these different numbers.

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So, number one, anybody know what that one is

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-right there in the middle? COLIN:

-Er...

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-They're hieroglyph.

-I'm not good on hieroglyphics.

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Pass.

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So, what were you saying, Colin? You were making a noise.

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-You were just making the noise?

-I was just making a noise.

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-What was the noise?

-Err.

-Yeah. So, that's...

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-Weirdly, it's quite close to the correct answer.

-Is it?

-Yes.

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It's a man holding his hands up,

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and he's most likely called either Huh, or Huuh,

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or huh-huh-huh-huuuh.

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The thing is, there are no vowels in hieroglyphs

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and we don't know how it's pronounced,

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but it's going to be some kind of vowely-H sound,

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and he represents a million for the Egyptians.

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-Oh.

-I think he's just going like, "I've no idea how many."

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I think he's lost his keys.

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Someone went, "Do you know where your keys are?"

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And he went, "I don't know."

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They're on your elbows, mate.

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Let's have a look at the other ones that we've got,

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other than our Egyptian.

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So, the eye, anybody know what the eye is, another pictogram?

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I'll go for five.

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No, it's four, three.

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--1.

-Hmm, hmm, hmm.

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-Two.

-Zero.

-Yeah!

-Zero?

-Zero!

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-Zero, very good. NOEL:

-Zero?

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It looks like I'm working you today.

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It's the Mayan number zero.

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They had the concept of zero by about 30 BC,

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at which time the Romans and the Greeks didn't bother with it.

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-Couldn't be arsed.

-They didn't have a number zero.

-Why's it eye shaped?

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It looks like the eye's got prison bars over it.

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Like they've outlawed looking.

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No, the Greeks didn't bother with it, cos maths was more geometry for them,

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so the zero didn't make any sense.

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In fact, we don't get the zero in Europe until about the 13th century.

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Before that, couldn't be arsed.

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Let's have another look. OK, number three there.

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Two to the power of 74,207,281 minus one.

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Is it going to be the highest prime number or something?

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It is. The largest prime number. You are on fire tonight.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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It's a Mersenne prime.

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It is the largest one they've ever discovered.

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It contains 228,388,618 digits in total.

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It's basically 2x2x2 74 million times...

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-Wow.

-..minus one.

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That's my lucky number.

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But it's impossible to believe these things, isn't it,

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that it's not divisible by anything at all?

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-That's...

-That's absolutely mind blowing.

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-Mind blowing, isn't it, that that's a prime number?

-Yeah.

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So, the next one, number four there, eight billion and 85.

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Any thoughts what that might be?

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-That's a huge number, isn't it?

-Bacteria on your person?

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Oh, gross me out.

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LAUGHTER

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Bacteria within your person?

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SANDI AND SARAH GROAN

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Bacteria trying to get out of your person.

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I've honestly never felt so filthy.

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So, if you were to write out all the numbers from one to ten billion

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in words and organise them into alphabetical order,

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this is the very first one that would be an odd number.

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And that is because eight is the very first number alphabetically.

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It begins with E.

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Also, all the numbers beginning with eight

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have to come before the next number, which would be 11.

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So, it goes eight, eight billion, eight billion and eight,

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eight billion and 18, eight billion and 80, eight billion and 88,

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eight billion and 85,

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so, it's the very first one that is an odd number.

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OK, would it be a problem if you just explained that again?

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Did you wish to take the news with you to Australia?

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Look what I brought back from England,

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this amazing piece of information, that I still don't understand.

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I'm trying to work out a face that I can do that would be

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as if I did understand that.

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Let's have a look back at the ones we have left in our number cloud.

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142,857.

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If I tell you it's a cyclic number, does that mean anything to you?

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-No, is it to do with bicycles?

-Oh, I like that.

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"How many bicycles in Paris?" that kind of thing.

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No. So, if you take this number

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and you multiply it by any number between one and six,

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the answer will always be an anagram of the original number.

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So, it will just keep all those numbers.

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Look there, times two, times three, times four.

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AUDIENCE MEMBER: Ooh!

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Good noise! "We don't understand, but we're going to make a noise."

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This is the beginnings of subjugation.

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This number is an anagram of the other numbers.

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"Ooh, numbers."

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Let's have a look at the number 43.

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Any idea about the number 43?

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What I say my age is.

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-Just joking.

-Are you older or younger?

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-I'm older, yes.

-See, I was being polite.

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Thank you.

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Boys don't mind about their age, do they?

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Do boys mind about their age?

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They pretend that they...

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-You're shaking your head.

-I don't mind about my age.

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-I don't mind about mine.

-I'm 38 and proud.

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-Nothing wrong with that.

-I'd no idea. A year older than me.

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LAUGHTER

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So, it's a Frobenius number. I'm not helping, am I?

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-No.

-They didn't even give you an "Ooh".

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I'm going to explain it in terms of McDonald's, OK?

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So, this is a mathematical problem posed by a German

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called Ferdinand Frobenius in the early 20th century.

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Let's say it's Chicken McNuggets.

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They are only sold in multiples of six, nine and 20.

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And 43 is the largest number of McNuggets it's impossible to buy.

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You could get 41, because you could have 20 and nine and six and six.

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You could have 42 because you could have four lots of nine and a six.

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You could have 44, because you could have four lots of six and a 20.

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You cannot buy 43 McNuggets.

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You'd have to throw some away.

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Not even if you know Ronald McDonald?

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No.

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Now, how did the Danish government convince its citizens to multiply?

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This is one of my Randy Scandies.

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You mean...

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-Actually?

-I do mean that.

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Was it financial incentives?

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-There were incentives.

-We all need incentives anyway, don't we?

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What, to procreate?

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Just, you know, the bit before that, as well.

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Right. I'm fine, but OK.

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Incentivise me.

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I can narrow it down. It's actually a place called Thisted,

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which is in Jutland, so the mainland, the bit that sticks out from Germany.

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What happened? 2015, the local authorities were going to close down

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the local school and everybody

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was very upset in the local area so they struck a deal that the people

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would procreate as much as possible if they kept the school

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and the leisure facilities open.

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Nothing says "I'm bringing sexy back" like a council memo.

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Did they all do it? Did they all have to have kids?

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Well, as many as possible. They were encouraged to have kids.

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I have to say, it's a lovely place, Thisted.

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Not a lot to do. Number three on their own website of things to do

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in the area is visit the candle shop.

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Sexy candles for around the bath.

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There's been lots of times before, Britain has had its own panics

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about falling populations because of the war and contraception and so on.

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So, in 1921, the Daily Express

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ran a competition to find Britain's largest family.

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The News of the World offered a free tea tray

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to any mother who gave birth to her tenth child.

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Don't want your bloody tea tray, I'll take your head off with it.

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And the French still give medals for having large families.

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That's still a thing. The Medaille de la Famille Francaise.

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How many kids for bronze? What do you reckon?

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-Six.

-Four to five. Silver, six to seven.

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Gold, eight plus.

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I thought you said 45, for a second there.

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There is so much wrong with that picture, I can't begin.

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-Go on.

-Why are they creating a human bench for their two children?

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-That is worrying.

-Have they glued their heads together?

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Maybe they're ventriloquists and that's how they hold their toy.

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Just used to holding people like that.

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Now, here's something nice.

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Cake. You've each got a cake and a knife.

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And here is the challenge.

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I want you to cut two pieces of exactly equal size.

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Now, you can use three cuts to do it, but in such a way

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that the cake is still moist for you to have some more tomorrow.

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What would be the best way of cutting it?

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Could the cake stay moist in my tummy?

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-Because then you just half it.

-Then you could just half it. No.

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So, the idea is that there is cake for tomorrow.

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So, we're going to start with Alan and Colin first.

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-What is your...

-Well, my theory is that we cut through the middle.

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-OK.

-This is going to be difficult, but we're going to do it.

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-Right.

-And then, we take the top off.

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-OK.

-Yes.

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And we eat the bottom bit.

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You're going to eat the whole of the bottom bit?

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But that's quite a large piece of cake, isn't it?

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Yeah, yeah.

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We're two men in our 30s, we love cake.

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Take the top of. Colin will remove the bottom of the cake.

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Then put the top back down again.

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That's moist for tomorrow and then we cut this... place that there,

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we cut completely in half, like that.

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-Two equal pieces.

-Wow, that's very good.

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APPLAUSE

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Do you think anybody who likes the filling is going to be mildly disappointed?

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So, let's go over to...

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-I've got an idea.

-No, do it with the cake!

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-I'm just going to draw it first.

-Oh, fine.

-Is that OK?

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-Yes, darling, you do what you like.

-Yeah.

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LAUGHTER

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What if we cut it like, in a way that we could... back together?

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We could to get that out of here and then just smush...

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Yeah, just...

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That would be better, wouldn't it?

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-Shall we do it?

-That was a shambles, what they did.

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-The smushing doesn't sound good.

-I reckon we have to do this first.

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-Do you think?

-OK, go for it, Sarah.

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OK. So...

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-Oh, it's tough.

-Delicious is what you're looking for.

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LAUGHTER

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-And then, that.

-You've just drawn Pacman, that doesn't make any sense.

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So, take out your pieces.

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These are our pieces.

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Noel, were you calling US a shambles?

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Is that what you were saying? There you go.

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So, there is a mathematical way of doing it.

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There was a man called Francis Galton. An extraordinary fellow.

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He was an explorer and he was the very first person to come up with the idea

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of a weather map and he was also slightly obsessed with the idea

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of sharing a Christmas cake with his wife in an even manner.

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So, what he did was he wrote a long treaties on the subject,

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which he sent to Nature magazine.

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You were absolutely heading in the right direction.

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What you do is you cut it right down the middle like this

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and then you pull out the entire centre piece.

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-Ah, that was it!

-That's only two cuts though.

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Wait, I haven't finished. You pull out the whole thing like this

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and then you cut that one in half, so then you have two pieces.

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-We were nearly there.

-You were very nearly there.

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You have two pieces of cake like that and then you simply push

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the cake back together.

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Looks very similar to ours.

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So, anyway that's how you can half your cake and eat it.

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Now to a question about wrong numbers.

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Where's the worst place in the world for nuisance calls?

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LAUGHTER

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What a great picture.

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Do you not think you thought more carefully about making

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a phone call when you had dial it one number at a time?

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If you had to dial someone who had lots of eights and nines in it,

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-sometimes you wouldn't bother.

-You just couldn't be arsed.

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I mean, are we looking for a country?

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-We are looking for a place.

-The country with the most people in?

0:16:050:16:07

No, ironically, the place with the fewest telephones for a short while.

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So, it's the Pacific island of Niue.

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It looks fab, doesn't it?

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Niue. So, in the early '90s, people were constantly woken up

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by heavy breathers because the country was the home of an extremely

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lucrative sex line business and people often used

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to dial the wrong number.

0:16:270:16:29

There were only 387 telephones on the island and the phone numbers

0:16:290:16:33

only had four digits so people were often misdialling.

0:16:330:16:36

So, this is people ringing the wrong number and expecting a sex line?

0:16:360:16:39

-Yes.

-So, if they're already heavy breathing, they've started already.

0:16:390:16:43

I didn't know this.

0:16:430:16:45

Maybe it was just a helpline for asthma, people with asthma.

0:16:450:16:50

Nothing sexual. That guy's trying to ring nine people at the same time.

0:16:520:16:56

That's not going to work.

0:16:560:16:57

So they had a terrible time because people were constantly getting wrong

0:16:570:17:00

numbers and Belgium was another country that ran sex lines

0:17:000:17:03

for quite a while. When they were banned,

0:17:030:17:05

this is the most brilliant thing, they started a new thing,

0:17:050:17:08

which was cookery lines with recipes read

0:17:080:17:10

in the most sexual way possible.

0:17:100:17:12

-They had to read out sexy recipes.

-What's a sexy recipe?

0:17:140:17:17

Toad in the hole.

0:17:170:17:19

I can't think of anything more exciting, I think.

0:17:220:17:25

I quite fancy a toad in the hole.

0:17:250:17:28

Last time I had that, I had a football under my arm

0:17:280:17:31

and a catapult in my pocket.

0:17:310:17:34

Two weeks ago.

0:17:340:17:35

We are going to make our own nuisance call this evening.

0:17:370:17:40

There is a number that anybody can ring in Sweden

0:17:400:17:44

and it's a scheme set up by the country's tourism authority

0:17:440:17:48

to celebrate 250 years of free speech in Sweden

0:17:480:17:50

and its called Ring a Random Swede.

0:17:500:17:53

It's genuinely a random thing.

0:17:550:17:57

We've no idea who we're going to get.

0:17:570:17:59

We've already pre-selected a question from a member

0:17:590:18:02

of the audience and the question is why do you eat rotten fish?

0:18:020:18:05

Does anybody speak Swedish?

0:18:060:18:08

Here's the marvellous thing about Scandinavians,

0:18:080:18:11

-their English is really coming along.

-OK.

0:18:110:18:14

So, the marvellous sound department are going to put the call through

0:18:200:18:23

now and obviously we'll have to explain what it is we're doing to this person.

0:18:230:18:27

PHONE DIALS

0:18:270:18:29

MAN SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

0:18:560:18:57

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi, my name is Sandi, I'm ringing I'm from London.

0:18:570:19:01

Who's that?

0:19:010:19:02

Robin. Hi. You're my random Swede that I'm ringing.

0:19:040:19:07

Is it your first phone call from an English person?

0:19:090:19:12

Oh!

0:19:140:19:15

Well, this is kind of exciting, Robin, because I'm ringing you

0:19:150:19:19

from a live television studio from London.

0:19:190:19:22

You're on the BBC right now, is that OK?

0:19:220:19:25

OK. I tell you what, we'll have a round of applause from our audience.

0:19:280:19:31

Maybe you can hear that.

0:19:310:19:33

APPLAUSE

0:19:330:19:34

So, what do you do Robin?

0:19:400:19:42

Are you actually in the shop?

0:19:470:19:48

OK. So, we have a question from our audience.

0:19:480:19:52

You may be buying this now, what do I know?

0:19:520:19:54

Why do Swedish people eat rotten fish is the question

0:19:540:19:57

we want to ask you.

0:19:570:19:59

It was lovely to speak to you, Robin.

0:20:100:20:12

APPLAUSE

0:20:120:20:14

-His English was pretty good.

-That English coming along.

0:20:190:20:22

Yeah, coming along.

0:20:220:20:24

You'll never meet an unfriendly Swede, that's my view.

0:20:240:20:26

No, darling, that's because they're usually drunk.

0:20:260:20:29

LAUGHTER

0:20:290:20:30

It's a Danish-Swedish thing.

0:20:300:20:32

Let's play How Many People In The Audience...

0:20:320:20:35

Each of my panellists has got a coloured card

0:20:350:20:38

and the audience also has coloured cards

0:20:380:20:40

and I'm going to get them to stand up and I want you to

0:20:400:20:43

tell me which item on this list relates

0:20:430:20:47

to the number of people who are standing.

0:20:470:20:50

We're going to start with Colin, what colour is your card?

0:20:500:20:52

-Blue.

-So, could all the blue card people stand up please?

0:20:520:20:56

What do you reckon, Colin?

0:20:560:20:58

How many people do you think that is?

0:20:580:21:01

It's about 182.

0:21:040:21:05

-OK.

-It's 230 people.

0:21:050:21:09

It took 230 people to do one of these five things.

0:21:090:21:13

Selfie fatalities in 2014.

0:21:130:21:16

It is not. It is something a little bit more substantial.

0:21:160:21:20

-Built the Eiffel Tower.

-Built the Eiffel Tower is absolutely right.

0:21:200:21:23

Built by 230 people in two years.

0:21:230:21:26

Sit back down again and we will come to Sarah.

0:21:260:21:29

What colour is your card?

0:21:290:21:31

-I have red.

-So, could I have the red cards standing please?

0:21:310:21:34

How many do you think that might be?

0:21:340:21:36

-100, maybe.

-69.

0:21:370:21:39

So, have a look at the list, what do you reckon?

0:21:390:21:42

I think maybe the selfie fatalities.

0:21:420:21:44

You keep going for that one. It isn't that.

0:21:440:21:47

It's the world record number of children born to a single mother.

0:21:470:21:51

No way.

0:21:510:21:53

-What?

-All of you are now related.

0:21:530:21:55

It's a woman called Valentina Vassilyev.

0:21:550:21:58

She had 16 pairs of twins,

0:21:580:22:00

she had seven sets of triplets

0:22:000:22:02

and four sets of quadruplets in 40 years, between 1725 and 1765.

0:22:020:22:07

In total, 27 births.

0:22:070:22:09

Her husband, Feodor Vassilyev,

0:22:090:22:11

went on to have a further 18 children with his second wife.

0:22:110:22:15

So, he left her?! After all of those kids!

0:22:150:22:19

I think she died. I think she died.

0:22:190:22:21

It's unbelievable, isn't it?

0:22:210:22:23

But, the way she was having children,

0:22:230:22:25

was like someone was unscrewing her and...

0:22:250:22:28

Let's have a look at yours, Noel. What colour is your card?

0:22:290:22:32

White. Let's have all the white cards stand.

0:22:320:22:35

How many people do you reckon that is?

0:22:350:22:38

-50?

-49, almost exactly right.

0:22:380:22:41

-What does that represent? COLIN:

-(Selfie fatalities.)

0:22:410:22:45

Everybody's gone for the selfie fatalities, what do you reckon?

0:22:450:22:49

QI contestants.

0:22:490:22:51

You should have gone for the selfie fatalities.

0:22:510:22:54

That number of people, very sadly, in 2014, died taking a selfie.

0:22:580:23:01

16 came from a fall, four from a gunshot, one from an animal,

0:23:010:23:05

I don't know what the story is, I've no idea.

0:23:050:23:07

The most common place apparently to die taking a selfie is in India.

0:23:070:23:10

Followed by Russia.

0:23:100:23:12

I tell you what, Alan, why don't you get the whole audience to stand up?

0:23:120:23:15

Everyone please rise.

0:23:150:23:17

-Here we are.

-AUDIENCE RISES NOISILY

0:23:170:23:19

-So, that's the entire audience.

-Oh, I've heard that noise before.

0:23:190:23:22

Turn your back for two seconds.

0:23:260:23:29

625 people is the QI audience.

0:23:290:23:33

I can tell you it represents people who died in a certain way.

0:23:330:23:36

They didn't die together. It was 625 individual incidents.

0:23:360:23:41

-Domestic accidents?

-It's an accident in the home.

0:23:410:23:44

Coming to panel shows?

0:23:440:23:45

The word coming is going to be most...

0:23:480:23:51

No. No!

0:23:510:23:53

-Getting jiggy?

-It's the number of people in 2014

0:23:530:23:56

who died from autoerotic asphyxiation.

0:23:560:24:00

Sit down, you dirty bastards!

0:24:010:24:03

Sorry, I'm confused. I thought for a moment you were all autoerotics.

0:24:060:24:11

That's how to explain the dangers of autoerotic asphyxiation

0:24:110:24:14

using our studio audience.

0:24:140:24:16

All of which talk of hard sums brings us to the insoluble equation

0:24:160:24:20

that is general ignorance.

0:24:200:24:23

So, fingers on buzzers, please.

0:24:230:24:25

In terms of numbers, which is the most common vertebrate in the world?

0:24:250:24:30

-Alan.

-Humans.

0:24:310:24:33

KLAXON

0:24:330:24:35

No, we never leave out the klaxon.

0:24:360:24:38

We'll get some more. We'll get some more.

0:24:380:24:41

7 billion humans.

0:24:410:24:43

I can tell you already there are more chickens than there are...

0:24:430:24:46

ALAN'S BUZZER

0:24:460:24:48

-Chickens.

-Chickens, that should do it.

0:24:500:24:52

-SARAH'S BUZZER

-It's not rats?

-No.

0:24:590:25:01

KLAXON

0:25:010:25:03

It's not rats.

0:25:030:25:06

-I have got it.

-Yes.

0:25:060:25:08

People who died of auto asphyxiation.

0:25:080:25:11

-It's a fish.

-Fish, fish!

0:25:130:25:14

It's a fish called the Bristlemouth and it's tiny.

0:25:140:25:18

It is smaller than your finger but if it opens its mouth up wide it's

0:25:180:25:21

got these incredible needle-like teeth.

0:25:210:25:24

It's an amazing fish. It glows and it eats even smaller creatures,

0:25:240:25:27

which you can see there, called copepods, but they are not vertebrates.

0:25:270:25:31

But this is the largest number of vertebrates in the world.

0:25:310:25:34

They live in the sea between half a mile and three miles down and until

0:25:340:25:37

the 21st-century, so they got the very fine dredging nets,

0:25:370:25:40

we didn't really know how many there were.

0:25:400:25:43

The estimate now is that there are as many as a dozen

0:25:430:25:45

-per square metre of ocean surface.

-Whoa.

0:25:450:25:48

And they disguise themselves as diagrams.

0:25:480:25:50

They do.

0:25:500:25:52

The most common animal in the world is an invertebrate.

0:25:520:25:55

It's the nematode worm.

0:25:550:25:57

Four out of five of all animals is a nematode worm.

0:25:570:26:00

Anything that comes at you like that without any eyes...

0:26:000:26:03

That's why some of us made the life choices we did.

0:26:070:26:10

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:100:26:12

The word noon comes from the word nun, which meant nine,

0:26:170:26:21

so with that that in mind, if you had to meet a ninth-century nun

0:26:210:26:24

at noon, what time would you noodle off to the nunnery?

0:26:240:26:27

Noon means nun, which came from nine, you're meeting the nun at nine.

0:26:320:26:37

Nun, what time would you meet if you were meeting the nun at noon?

0:26:370:26:39

12?

0:26:390:26:41

KLAXON

0:26:410:26:43

-Nine.

-Yeah. No.

0:26:440:26:47

KLAXON

0:26:470:26:49

There isn't a nun.

0:26:500:26:53

KLAXON

0:26:530:26:54

-Anyone else want have a go?

-Just call them, instead.

0:26:570:27:00

Until the mid-12th century,

0:27:000:27:02

the word noon meant three o'clock in the afternoon.

0:27:020:27:05

Ah, bollocks.

0:27:050:27:06

You were so winning, as well. You just destroyed your score.

0:27:080:27:12

It goes back to old Christian prayer times,

0:27:120:27:15

so it used to be that the day began at 6am,

0:27:150:27:17

so that was known as the prime or the first hour

0:27:170:27:19

and then you have terces, so the third hour, that would be 9am today.

0:27:190:27:22

-Nonny's the ninth hour.

-That guy in the orange has got my haircut.

0:27:220:27:25

He's praying for a new one.

0:27:280:27:30

"Please, I don't want to be in Cabaret any more!"

0:27:300:27:33

Until the Middle Ages, noon was 3pm and all this talk of time makes me

0:27:370:27:41

realise it must be time for the scores.

0:27:410:27:43

In last place with -41 is Alan.

0:27:430:27:45

It should be Sarah next, but we're going to skip over that

0:27:490:27:52

and we're going to put in third place Colin, with -9.

0:27:520:27:54

Thank you. And in second-place, Noel, with one point!

0:27:580:28:01

So, Sarah actually got -26, but I was supposed to do a gig for Sarah

0:28:040:28:07

and I let her down by becoming the new host of QI and I couldn't do it,

0:28:070:28:11

so this week's winner, to make up for it, is Sarah Millican!

0:28:110:28:15

APPLAUSE

0:28:150:28:17

That's all from Sarah, Noel, Colin,

0:28:250:28:28

Alan and me. And I leave you with this number-related,

0:28:280:28:31

neolithic newspaper nugget from the Eastern Evening News.

0:28:310:28:34

When two men stole six sheep from a farm at Mumford,

0:28:340:28:38

they found that they could only get five of them into the back of their van.

0:28:380:28:42

So, the other one had to sit in the cab between the two men.

0:28:420:28:45

But the men had to pass through Watton on their way home.

0:28:450:28:48

Fearing that the sheep sitting in the cab might be conspicuous,

0:28:480:28:51

they disguised it by putting a trilby hat on its head.

0:28:510:28:54

Good night.

0:28:550:28:56