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I'm Rhod Gilbert, stand-up comedian. People say I've got the toughest job, | 0:00:02 | 0:00:06 | |
but I'm sure I'd find other things more difficult. I'm ditching my regular job, | 0:00:06 | 0:00:09 | |
and trying something completely different. | 0:00:09 | 0:00:11 | |
This is my Work Experience. | 0:00:11 | 0:00:13 | |
And this week, I'm a Scout Leader. | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
'I couldn't wait to get stuck in. | 0:00:19 | 0:00:21 | |
'Singing Ging Gang Goolie in a pair of little grey shorts | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
'and getting badges for being nice to a cat is how I like to party. | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
'So, I woggled down to a Scout troop in Swansea to meet | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
'some of the Leaders.' | 0:00:30 | 0:00:32 | |
-I'm Carol. -Rhod Gilbert. -OK. But my Cub name is Ricky. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:35 | |
Or Beaver name, Scout name, is Ricky. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
-Your Cub name or Scout name or Beaver name is Ricky. -Yeah. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:41 | |
But my real name's Carol. You can call me Carol. | 0:00:41 | 0:00:44 | |
-Right. -And you're Rhod. -I'm Rhod. You can call me Rhod. | 0:00:44 | 0:00:47 | |
-That's my name for all occasions. -OK. Come in, then. | 0:00:47 | 0:00:50 | |
-Pack, Pack, Pack! -CHILDREN: -Pack! | 0:00:50 | 0:00:53 | |
Akela. We do our best. | 0:00:56 | 0:00:59 | |
-Cubs, do your best. -We will do our best. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:02 | |
'I was in Scouts so long ago, crisps were two of your five a day. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:06 | |
'I don't remember any of this stuff. | 0:01:06 | 0:01:08 | |
'As the evening progressed, the activities got more and more bizarre.' | 0:01:08 | 0:01:12 | |
We have been invited to do the Harlem shake. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:17 | |
'I felt as out of place as Kim Jong-un in TK Maxx. | 0:01:17 | 0:01:20 | |
'And I wasn't the only one.' | 0:01:20 | 0:01:21 | |
-What's the Harlem shake? -I don't know. | 0:01:21 | 0:01:24 | |
-I don't know. -You all got really excited about it. -I didn't. | 0:01:24 | 0:01:27 | |
You didn't? Put it there. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
'It was all pretty alien to me. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:31 | |
'And when the pack leader Akela put these things on her head, | 0:01:31 | 0:01:34 | |
'it didn't really help.' | 0:01:34 | 0:01:35 | |
Right, can I have the... | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
You're going to roll your money | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
and see how much lands on the red paper. | 0:01:39 | 0:01:43 | |
And, whoever's got the most money is the winning six. OK? | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
-Do you understand that, Rhod? -I'm pretty clear. | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
Is there a six which doesn't have six in it? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
'As the evening's activities drew to a close, | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
'my head was spinning like an owl in a microwave.' | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
No-one goes out that door until they see their parent. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:01 | |
Does that include me? | 0:02:01 | 0:02:03 | |
My mother's 81. I doubt if she's coming. | 0:02:03 | 0:02:06 | |
'While I waited for my parents, Carol Ricky Carol introduced me | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
'to leader Gareth Gareth, who urinated all over my French fries. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:12 | |
I'm going to get you prepared for what's coming up this weekend | 0:02:12 | 0:02:16 | |
and, on the weekend... | 0:02:16 | 0:02:18 | |
Don't make it sound... It sounds like Blair Witch. | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
We're going to get you to Scout camp for the weekend, | 0:02:21 | 0:02:24 | |
which you're going to go and camp out with the Scouts. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:26 | |
Brilliant. | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
'Come the weekend, these woods near Swansea would be teeming | 0:02:28 | 0:02:32 | |
'with 200 Beavers, Cubs and Scouts and I'd be one of those responsible. | 0:02:32 | 0:02:36 | |
But the closest I've come to taking 200 kids camping is | 0:02:36 | 0:02:39 | |
'walking past Millets with my nephew. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:41 | |
'Sensing that I knew less about the outdoors than a pair of claustrophobic slippers, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:45 | |
'Gareth agreed to Bear my Grylls ahead of the weekend, | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
'with some intensive training.' | 0:02:48 | 0:02:49 | |
If you listen carefully, you can hear... | 0:02:49 | 0:02:51 | |
I think that's the Beavers, the six to eight-year-olds, getting... | 0:02:51 | 0:02:55 | |
CHAINSAW WHIRS | 0:02:55 | 0:02:56 | |
..getting their Chainsaw badge, by the sound of things. | 0:02:56 | 0:02:59 | |
And, you can see, everywhere, | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
the evidence that the Scouts have been here. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
I was hoping for Portaloos, but... | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
'Gareth had made a terrible error of judgement and mistaken me | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
'for a responsible adult.' | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
At the camp, you are going to lead a group of scouts into the forest | 0:03:13 | 0:03:17 | |
and navigate them round. | 0:03:17 | 0:03:19 | |
RHOD LAUGHS | 0:03:19 | 0:03:20 | |
-So I'm getting you prepared. -And back out, presumably. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
-That's the idea. -Back out and then round to get them home safe. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
So you need to know how to navigate around some forest. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
So what I've set out is a mini trail here. | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
'I once got lost for two days in a shower cubicle, | 0:03:31 | 0:03:34 | |
'so Gareth set about polishing my navigational turd.' | 0:03:34 | 0:03:37 | |
I have zero spatial awareness. | 0:03:37 | 0:03:39 | |
Honestly, if you spun me round in my own kitchen | 0:03:39 | 0:03:42 | |
and took your hands away, I probably couldn't find my way out. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
We should just look around. | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
'I looked round. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
'It all looked the same to me, and giving me a map | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
'and compass was like giving a horse an Etch A Sketch.' | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
So what we are going to do now is, using the map and compass, | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
get to our next few points. | 0:03:56 | 0:03:57 | |
First of all, I'll show you how to set a map to North. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:00 | |
I'm pretty hopeless with maps, Gareth. | 0:04:00 | 0:04:02 | |
-What I can tell you is, not map, map. -OK. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
-That's my starting point. -Great. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
PLANE RUMBLES | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
A few Beavers doing their Top Gun badge, there. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
GARETH LAUGHS | 0:04:14 | 0:04:16 | |
So, you're going to get to the next step on your own, using the map. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:20 | |
Don't let the map move from North. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
I'm going to try and find a little... Oh, God. Hang on a minute. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:26 | |
I'm going to try that way. See you in a minute. | 0:04:27 | 0:04:30 | |
-You'll be fine. -Bear Grylls I am not. | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
Aaargh! | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
This isn't marked on the map! | 0:04:37 | 0:04:39 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:04:39 | 0:04:40 | |
I kept the security tag on so I could take these wellies back. | 0:04:40 | 0:04:44 | |
Chicken tikka masala down there. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:49 | |
That's not on the map. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
There's a symbol for a tree somewhere around here. That figures. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:55 | |
You see, North is going crazy. | 0:04:55 | 0:04:57 | |
I think it's my zip or something. | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
'The gravitational pull of my zip was causing real problems | 0:05:00 | 0:05:03 | |
'and, in no time at all, I was lost.' | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
Totally lost the plot on this completely. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:09 | |
If I'm going to lead a group of anything, I'm going | 0:05:09 | 0:05:11 | |
to have to get more savvy with this. | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
I would say I'm ten minutes away | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
from using the whistle I didn't bring. | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Aaargh! | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
Shitting hell. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
Oh, I just put my back out. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
'Like a gingerbread man who ends up being sold in a petrol station, | 0:05:26 | 0:05:29 | |
'I just wasn't cut out for this.' | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
Oh, right. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
Mayday. Mayday. How can it be Mayday? | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
How can anybody get lost three yards from a fence? | 0:05:37 | 0:05:41 | |
'I was to a map what Brian Blessed was to a library, | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
'so Gareth moved me on to campfire skills.' | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
-You're having a laugh, aren't you? -Here you go. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
-I'm really bad at DIY, so stop me just before my leg comes off. -OK. | 0:05:53 | 0:05:57 | |
Give it a good smack. With the grain in the middle there. | 0:05:57 | 0:05:59 | |
Split it into two. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
Watch your leg, OK? | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
Oh, my God! This is sharp as... | 0:06:04 | 0:06:06 | |
I'm worried about hitting my leg. | 0:06:06 | 0:06:08 | |
I can hear it over and over again just going | 0:06:08 | 0:06:10 | |
"Cccck!" into the bone and then, in my imagination, | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
for some reason, I start going "ccck, ccck," | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
to try and prise my bone open and | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
"ccck," have a look at the marrow. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
'My naughty zip was misbehaving again, | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
'this time leading me down the darkest corners of my mind.' | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
Do you know what I've got now? | 0:06:25 | 0:06:27 | |
I just imagined that going between my teeth | 0:06:27 | 0:06:29 | |
and hacking up into my gums. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
My imagination is odd. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:32 | |
-Take these down a bit more. -Oh, God! I had a horrible... | 0:06:32 | 0:06:35 | |
I almost chopped your head off then. | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
Don't do that again. You bent down in front of me | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
and, honestly, 40% of my brain was going, "Hack it off! | 0:06:40 | 0:06:43 | |
"Hack his head off!" | 0:06:43 | 0:06:44 | |
I shouldn't be allowed near... How did I pass the CRB check? | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
'I'd earned my Don't Hack Gareth's Head Off With An Axe badge, | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
'but I knew that we were playing with fire | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
'when we started playing with fire.' | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
OK, if you notice, before you do it... | 0:06:55 | 0:06:57 | |
-Just try that way. -Here we go. Whoa! | 0:06:57 | 0:07:00 | |
That's probably enough, isn't it? | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
We need a little bit more to cook something. | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
I think that's enough. We should bring the kids in. | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
How are we going to feed them all with this much? | 0:07:07 | 0:07:10 | |
Gather round, everybody. | 0:07:10 | 0:07:11 | |
'Worried about my destructive streak and my evil zip, Gareth built | 0:07:11 | 0:07:15 | |
'the world's smallest bonfire to teach me survival cooking.' | 0:07:15 | 0:07:20 | |
Bear Grylls, he can keep his witchetty grubs | 0:07:20 | 0:07:24 | |
and hollowed out kangaroo face, | 0:07:24 | 0:07:28 | |
whatever it is he eats. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
Chocolate bananas. That's what the Scouts are on. Happy days! | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
Just pop these into the banana. | 0:07:33 | 0:07:34 | |
Basically, if you are stranded in a fairly well-stocked supermarket, | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
you too can survive by making chocolate bananas. | 0:07:37 | 0:07:42 | |
'Training complete, my big Scout Leader weekend arrived | 0:07:42 | 0:07:46 | |
'but I still felt about as ready to look after 200 kids | 0:07:46 | 0:07:49 | |
'as a Sunderland fan who's just been Tasered outside a Wetherspoons.' | 0:07:49 | 0:07:53 | |
I'm arriving at the wilderness survival camp weekend. | 0:07:53 | 0:07:56 | |
Although, as you can probably hear, | 0:07:56 | 0:07:58 | |
we're about 100 yards from junction 47 of the M4. | 0:07:58 | 0:08:01 | |
"Be Prepared" is their motto. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:04 | |
My motto is, "Be prepared for this to go totally tits up | 0:08:04 | 0:08:07 | |
"because you haven't prepared." | 0:08:07 | 0:08:09 | |
I am prepared to set fire to a few Cub Scouts, | 0:08:09 | 0:08:12 | |
to lose a few Beavers on a map reading exercise. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
I don't even want to think about that axe. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
'30 seconds in and I was already flailing.' | 0:08:19 | 0:08:22 | |
-OK, shall we go, guys? -I don't know what to do. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:25 | |
Yes, that's right, in you go. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:29 | |
In you go and camp. Jamboree! | 0:08:32 | 0:08:35 | |
'As the happy campers swarmed in, I felt utterly useless. | 0:08:35 | 0:08:39 | |
'But, after half an hour of intense standing round, | 0:08:39 | 0:08:41 | |
'Gareth dropped me right in the deep end.' | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
We have a tent for you to help supervise. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:46 | |
It's going down in that direction to go up. | 0:08:46 | 0:08:48 | |
That's about my level of responsibility. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
A tent that I can help supervise. | 0:08:50 | 0:08:52 | |
I'm not even putting it up, I'm not even supervising, | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
I'm helping supervise. | 0:08:55 | 0:08:56 | |
If I'm watching somebody else watch somebody else put a tent up. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:59 | |
They may struggle, so you may have to help. | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
Right, got the gist? Can you count the other two? | 0:09:02 | 0:09:06 | |
Helping supervise. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:07 | |
Come on, Hi-de-Hi. | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
-Just be prepared for it to collapse. -OK. -Yeah? | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
That's your motto, isn't it? | 0:09:12 | 0:09:13 | |
Be Prepared. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
Oh, brings it all flooding back, this. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:18 | |
Happy memories, camping. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:19 | |
Glastonbury, 1996. Remember that? | 0:09:19 | 0:09:22 | |
-Remember that? -Ummm... no. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:27 | |
Gorseinon, we have a problem. That's gone in there. | 0:09:27 | 0:09:30 | |
Should be round there. | 0:09:30 | 0:09:31 | |
Let's just go, "Who cares?" | 0:09:31 | 0:09:33 | |
There's not enough of that in the world. | 0:09:33 | 0:09:35 | |
-No. -Who cares? I don't care. Do you care? -No. -Scouts don't care. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:39 | |
That's our motto. What's our motto? | 0:09:39 | 0:09:40 | |
Scouts don't care. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:42 | |
Boom. Concise. Keep it concise. Scouts don't care. | 0:09:42 | 0:09:45 | |
It's actually Scouts Be Prepared. Be prepared. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
It's a really long-winded sentence, isn't it? | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
So "Scouts don't care" is our new motto, yeah? | 0:09:50 | 0:09:53 | |
-Scouts... -Don't care. -Nice. | 0:09:53 | 0:09:55 | |
I'll soon convert this entire camp | 0:09:55 | 0:09:57 | |
to the "Rhod Gilbert, couldn't give a toss" school. | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
Scouts don't care. Right. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
HE DOES EVIL LAUGH | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:10:10 | 0:10:11 | |
'It was only the opening ceremony | 0:10:11 | 0:10:13 | |
'and I already knew I was going to struggle to be a responsible leader. | 0:10:13 | 0:10:16 | |
'But like a rabbit who's been hit at 90 miles an hour by | 0:10:16 | 0:10:18 | |
'a Renault Espace, I couldn't walk away now.' | 0:10:18 | 0:10:21 | |
-All of you together! Are you here today? -Yeah! | 0:10:21 | 0:10:24 | |
Carol is group Scout Leader of the 44 Sketty, | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
she's going to welcome in our new Leader, Rhod Gilbert. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
So, welcome him, big round of applause. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:32 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:32 | 0:10:33 | |
Thank you. | 0:10:33 | 0:10:34 | |
Right, now, before Rhod can join in with us, he hasn't been invested yet. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:40 | |
So... | 0:10:40 | 0:10:42 | |
RHOD GASPS | 0:10:42 | 0:10:43 | |
Rhod is now going to be invested in the 44th Scout group. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:49 | |
-Am I? -Yes. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
First of all, stand properly. | 0:10:51 | 0:10:53 | |
Like, you know, nice. | 0:10:53 | 0:10:55 | |
OK. | 0:10:56 | 0:10:57 | |
I'm going to put your 44th necker on. | 0:10:57 | 0:11:00 | |
And now, you're going to say a promise, OK? | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
That's right, yeah. That's good. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 | |
-On my honour... -On my honour... | 0:11:09 | 0:11:12 | |
-..I promise... -..I promise... | 0:11:12 | 0:11:14 | |
-..that I will do my best... -..that I will do my best... | 0:11:14 | 0:11:16 | |
-..do my duty... -..do my duty... | 0:11:16 | 0:11:19 | |
..to God and the Queen... | 0:11:19 | 0:11:20 | |
I tried to throw a baked potato at her | 0:11:20 | 0:11:22 | |
in the Royal Variety Performance. | 0:11:22 | 0:11:24 | |
-Well, you're not doing that now. -Right. To God and to the Queen. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:27 | |
-..to help other people... -..to help other people... | 0:11:27 | 0:11:30 | |
-..at all times.... -..at all times... | 0:11:30 | 0:11:32 | |
-..and to keep the Scout Law. -..and to keep the Scout Law. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:35 | |
Right, let's shake hands on that now. | 0:11:35 | 0:11:37 | |
'I was technically a Scout Leader | 0:11:37 | 0:11:38 | |
'but the ceremony had felt more like an exorcism.' | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
-CHILDREN: -B-R-A-V-O. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:47 | |
Bravo! | 0:11:47 | 0:11:48 | |
'I was worried my head would revolve 360 | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
'and spew green stuff into Carol's face. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:52 | |
'But, luckily, I'd taken precautions.' | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
-WHISPERING: -I had my fingers crossed. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:56 | |
'The camp came alive. | 0:11:57 | 0:11:59 | |
'If God and the Queen did turn up, there was | 0:11:59 | 0:12:01 | |
'loads to do and the other Leaders got straight in to | 0:12:01 | 0:12:03 | |
'passing on skills through the fun activities.' | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
I'm about to get given my group for the day. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:09 | |
I sort of look the part. I'm just not very Scouty. | 0:12:09 | 0:12:13 | |
I'm the opposite of a Scout. I'm the antithesis of a Scout. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:16 | |
I am the anti-Scout. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:17 | |
'I set off round the camp with my group. | 0:12:17 | 0:12:20 | |
'As a Scout Leader, I'd promised to help other people at all times. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
'But to Gilbert the anti-Scout, it didn't come naturally.' | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Ooooh! Come on. You've got one more to get it in that yellow one. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:29 | |
-Can you do it? -Yeah. | 0:12:29 | 0:12:30 | |
I bet you three quid you don't get it in the yellow one. | 0:12:30 | 0:12:34 | |
Three smackeroonies. | 0:12:34 | 0:12:36 | |
-Come on! You're putting me off. -Get on with it! | 0:12:36 | 0:12:39 | |
-You're putting me off! -I'm not putting you off, I'm trying to help. | 0:12:39 | 0:12:42 | |
RHOD COUGHS | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
BOY LAUGHS | 0:12:45 | 0:12:46 | |
Aaargh! | 0:12:47 | 0:12:49 | |
-I'm not paying you the three pound. -Yes, you are. -No! | 0:12:49 | 0:12:51 | |
Give me the three pound. You owe me the three pound. | 0:12:51 | 0:12:53 | |
'The anti-Scout had done his first good deed. | 0:12:53 | 0:12:56 | |
'Morgan had learned a harsh lesson about gambling. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
'But then I met a young man who needed no help whatsoever.' | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
All right, Ben? 'Ben, the Ice Scout.' | 0:13:01 | 0:13:03 | |
-How are you feeling? -Umm... confident. | 0:13:03 | 0:13:06 | |
Confident? Do you want to do a fewer trust building exercises | 0:13:06 | 0:13:10 | |
-before we go? -Nah. | 0:13:10 | 0:13:12 | |
What you mean, "Nah"? | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
'Ben was so cool, he could frost your eyebrows at 30 paces.' | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
Let's get on with it, shall we? No fuss. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:20 | |
Don't even like any small talk, no? Just... | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
Don't want to waste your time or anything, Ben. | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
'He was as cool as Steve McQueen and as surefooted as a mountain goat.' | 0:13:27 | 0:13:31 | |
Go on, Ben! You show that wall. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:34 | |
'Unfortunately, I didn't share Ben's confidence, | 0:13:34 | 0:13:36 | |
'and decided to check the other Leaders' credentials.' | 0:13:36 | 0:13:39 | |
-Do you know what you're doing? What is your job? -I'm a music teacher. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:43 | |
-Brilliant. -CHILDREN: -Good luck! | 0:13:43 | 0:13:46 | |
Thank you. | 0:13:46 | 0:13:47 | |
'Amazingly, the music teacher guided me to the top, | 0:13:47 | 0:13:50 | |
'where I tried to rattle Ben, the Steve McQueen goat.' | 0:13:50 | 0:13:54 | |
Ben, what are you doing? | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
-These people are all volunteers, you realise that? -All fully qualified. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
Ben, they're like teachers, binmen. What do you do? | 0:13:59 | 0:14:04 | |
-Printer. -He's a printer. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:06 | |
You've just been strapped in by a printer, Ben. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:09 | |
-What's your confidence like now? -Feet back, rope towards me. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:13 | |
-Ben, I don't think you're listening. -Keep going. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Most of the time, they're working in shops and stuff like that. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:19 | |
-Keep going. -They probably work in Dixons. Teachers, shopkeepers. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:22 | |
I'm not listening. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:23 | |
He's a printer, the guy who's just letting you down. | 0:14:23 | 0:14:26 | |
-Probably a wimp. -What you mean, "Don't be a wimp?" | 0:14:26 | 0:14:28 | |
The person at the bottom's a music teacher! | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
'Ben the Ice Scout laughed in the face of danger. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:33 | |
'Then laughed again as I got my Ging Gang Goolies | 0:14:33 | 0:14:35 | |
'trapped in a harness badge.' | 0:14:35 | 0:14:37 | |
Ben, I'm very.... Aaargh, my plums! | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
BEN LAUGHS | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
Oh! I was doing fine until a horrific injury at the bottom. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
Ben, in about 14 years, I'll explain to you what just happened. | 0:14:44 | 0:14:48 | |
'All around the camp, the other Leaders shared their skills, | 0:14:48 | 0:14:51 | |
'commanding quiet respect from the kids in an atmosphere that | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
'was fun but not chaotic. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
'But Gilbert the anti-Scout was struggling. | 0:14:56 | 0:14:58 | |
'I had no skills to share and the little sods knew it.' | 0:14:58 | 0:15:01 | |
LAUGHTER AND SHOUTING | 0:15:01 | 0:15:04 | |
I am your leader! | 0:15:06 | 0:15:07 | |
Scouts don't care! | 0:15:10 | 0:15:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:11 | 0:15:14 | |
'I was commanding no respect and, apart from a new motto, | 0:15:14 | 0:15:17 | |
'I'd contributed nothing all day. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
'Well, almost nothing.' | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
RHOD DOES EVIL LAUGH | 0:15:22 | 0:15:23 | |
Rhod, were you telling ghost stories to Brett and Harvey? | 0:15:23 | 0:15:27 | |
I wasn't telling ghost stories to Brett and Harvey. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
Yeah, but you were like, that this place used to be haunted. | 0:15:30 | 0:15:32 | |
No, it is haunted now. | 0:15:32 | 0:15:34 | |
How come it's haunted? | 0:15:34 | 0:15:36 | |
You don't know the story with the boy with the box? | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
He choked on a chocolate banana on this very spot. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
And now, everywhere he goes, he carries a little box. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:45 | |
Do you know what's in that box? | 0:15:45 | 0:15:46 | |
-Chocolate banana? -No. Don't be so stupid. | 0:15:46 | 0:15:49 | |
Why would he carry a box full of chocolate bananas? | 0:15:49 | 0:15:51 | |
He choked on one. | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
Maybe it's full of the other people's souls | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
-that choked on chocolate bananas. -There's the banana. | 0:15:55 | 0:15:59 | |
You think he carries a box full of other people's souls who've | 0:15:59 | 0:16:01 | |
-choked on chocolate bananas? -Yeah. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:05 | |
'As darkness fell and the Scouts' bedtime loomed, I hoped | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
'fear of my chocolate banana ghost would finally earn me some respect.' | 0:16:08 | 0:16:11 | |
Come on then, Scouts. Let's get you all into beddy-byes. | 0:16:11 | 0:16:14 | |
I'm not staying out here, cos of the ghost. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
'But, frustratingly, I'd taught the Scouts too well.' | 0:16:16 | 0:16:20 | |
Guys, the ghost is usually out at about midnight, half past midnight. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:24 | |
That's what you said. Scouts don't care. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
The problem is, I'm trying to instil fear in them | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
with a ghost story, but I've taught them to be too blase all day. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
-They're just going, "Scouts don't care!" -That's right. | 0:16:33 | 0:16:36 | |
I'm a victim of my own motto. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:40 | |
'If I was going to make the Scouts care and salvage any | 0:16:40 | 0:16:42 | |
'credibility, I had to convince them my dessert-based phantom was real. | 0:16:42 | 0:16:46 | |
'And, soon, a chilling aroma of chocolate | 0:16:46 | 0:16:48 | |
'and banana wafted through the camp.' | 0:16:48 | 0:16:50 | |
Go away! | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
'The chocolate banana ghost of old Swansea town | 0:16:57 | 0:17:01 | |
'buggered off as requested.' | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
'But, at dawn next morning, I regretted my actions, | 0:17:04 | 0:17:07 | |
'as the anti-Scout was out anti-Scouted by the Scouts. | 0:17:07 | 0:17:10 | |
'Five hours before I planned to get up, their kitchen utensil band | 0:17:10 | 0:17:13 | |
'woke me up with a budget version of the musical Stomp. | 0:17:13 | 0:17:18 | |
'I hadn't heard this much noise | 0:17:18 | 0:17:20 | |
'since my dad tried to make his own breakfast.' | 0:17:20 | 0:17:22 | |
PANS CLANG | 0:17:22 | 0:17:24 | |
I'm calling the police. 999. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
I'm literally calling the police. | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Aaargh! | 0:17:42 | 0:17:43 | |
'I was tempted to go for my Ram A Frying Pan Up A Scout badge, | 0:17:45 | 0:17:49 | |
'but before I could get my revenge, we were off. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
'The day had started with a badge ceremony | 0:17:51 | 0:17:54 | |
'marking an important milestone.' | 0:17:54 | 0:17:55 | |
All these Cubs over here, this is their first night away. | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
First night away from home. | 0:18:02 | 0:18:05 | |
-I only cried twice. -Can I have it? | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
Can you have it? No, you cannot. You've got yours! | 0:18:07 | 0:18:10 | |
Did anyone happen to smell the chocolate | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
and banana around their tent? | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
I knew it! I knew it! | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
It's the chocolate banana ghost! | 0:18:17 | 0:18:19 | |
It wasn't me. | 0:18:19 | 0:18:20 | |
'Mystery solved, it was on with the day. | 0:18:20 | 0:18:23 | |
'Gareth still didn't seem to have noticed that I couldn't organise | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
'a bum-off in a baboon house, | 0:18:26 | 0:18:28 | |
'and had set up a big navigational challenge. | 0:18:28 | 0:18:30 | |
'I'd go head-to-head with Richard, | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
'a super-Scout born with a neckerchief round his neck.' | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
Come on, now, guys. Guys. Come on. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:38 | |
Right, so you're going to go out with a group of Scouts each. | 0:18:38 | 0:18:41 | |
The ground is quite slippery, there's a few steep edges, cliffs. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:44 | |
You need to keep the Scouts safe. | 0:18:44 | 0:18:47 | |
Count the numbers before you go, count them | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
while you're walking round. No losing any of them. Please. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:53 | |
'Gareth divvied up the Scouts and gave us | 0:18:53 | 0:18:56 | |
'clues to our first locations.' | 0:18:56 | 0:18:58 | |
Where have they gone? Oh, God, have they started already? | 0:18:58 | 0:19:00 | |
Right, come on, everyone! | 0:19:00 | 0:19:02 | |
Go to grid reference... | 0:19:02 | 0:19:04 | |
-Where are we now? -We're here. | 0:19:04 | 0:19:06 | |
I know we're here! | 0:19:06 | 0:19:08 | |
'St Richard, Scout of Swansea, | 0:19:08 | 0:19:09 | |
'and his super Scouts raced off to their first clue, | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
'while Gilbert and the runt Scouts hadn't moved off the starting grid. | 0:19:11 | 0:19:14 | |
-Put your finger there. -This line here! -It's not! Get your finger there! | 0:19:14 | 0:19:17 | |
-So, heading to location three now. -'This was head-to-head combat. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:20 | |
'Order, versus chaos.' | 0:19:20 | 0:19:22 | |
Just run! | 0:19:24 | 0:19:25 | |
I'm not sure "just run" is the best advice. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
'With woggle-face marching towards victory, God and the Queen would | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
'have to turn a blind eye, because there was only one thing for it.' | 0:19:30 | 0:19:34 | |
This is the plan. Are you listening? We have to play this dirty. | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
If we see any of their clues, destroy them. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:41 | |
There'll be something hidden in the undergrowth. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:43 | |
That's all we've been told. It won't be too far away from this position. | 0:19:43 | 0:19:46 | |
Can anybody see anything orange? | 0:19:46 | 0:19:48 | |
Just look for something orange. | 0:19:48 | 0:19:50 | |
Come on, focus! | 0:19:50 | 0:19:52 | |
Oh! | 0:19:55 | 0:19:56 | |
Guys! | 0:19:58 | 0:19:59 | |
Not only have we got orange, we've only gone and got green as well! | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
Grab it, then! | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
Right. 'Suddenly, the anti-Scout God intervened. | 0:20:04 | 0:20:07 | |
'We stumbled on one of their clues.' | 0:20:07 | 0:20:09 | |
RHOD DOES EVIL LAUGH | 0:20:11 | 0:20:13 | |
No. Quick. They're looking. They've got spies everywhere. | 0:20:13 | 0:20:16 | |
'The dud scouts were back in the game. | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
'We'd found old Scouty-pants Achilles' heel.' | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
Quick, chuck it into the river! | 0:20:20 | 0:20:22 | |
'We could lob his clues in the river.' | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
We haven't got it! We haven't got it! | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
Look, we haven't got it! | 0:20:26 | 0:20:28 | |
Right, that was good work there, team. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
Did some good cheating there. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:32 | |
I don't know if we're in the lead, but we're cheating well as a team. | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
It's the only chance we've got of beating those swotty uber Scouts. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:39 | |
This is a train track. It's clear. | 0:20:39 | 0:20:41 | |
-One at a time. -I like trains! | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
I know. But not so much you want to get hit by one. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
-Right. Was there any of our group down there under that train? -Yeah. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:51 | |
-Who? -They just got smashed though. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:53 | |
How many are we in our group? | 0:20:53 | 0:20:55 | |
-Five. -Five? One, two, three, four, five. | 0:20:55 | 0:20:57 | |
This is probably the wrong time to do a head count. | 0:20:57 | 0:21:00 | |
I should have done the head count before we started, shouldn't I? | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
'Like Miss Marple tanked up on Strongbow, | 0:21:02 | 0:21:06 | |
'we were hiding and destroying clues left, right and centre.' | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
If we stick it in here, they can't get it. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
-THEY LAUGH -Make sure they can't see it. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:13 | |
'We were intoxicated with cheating and it was starting to backfire. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
'Our nemesis, Luke Scout-walker, was hot on our heels.' | 0:21:16 | 0:21:19 | |
Put that back in there. | 0:21:19 | 0:21:21 | |
We're falling apart at the seams, team! Come here. Listen to me. | 0:21:21 | 0:21:24 | |
New rule for our team. Maximum of three minutes cheating per clue. | 0:21:24 | 0:21:27 | |
Right? Otherwise, we're spending longer cheating | 0:21:27 | 0:21:30 | |
-than we're going to slow them down. -OK. | 0:21:30 | 0:21:32 | |
Right, can you see what I'm saying? | 0:21:32 | 0:21:34 | |
'With the Scoutinator right behind us, we scarpered into the woods. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:37 | |
'We thought we'd got away with it, but Scouticus was onto us.' | 0:21:37 | 0:21:40 | |
Crushed. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
Oh, no. Cheats. | 0:21:42 | 0:21:44 | |
'And, running blindly into the woods had sent us completely off course.' | 0:21:45 | 0:21:50 | |
I think what we've done here is really stupid, but I don't know. | 0:21:50 | 0:21:53 | |
I'm too stupid to know if what we've done is just really stupid or not. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:58 | |
'If he'd seen as now, | 0:21:58 | 0:21:59 | |
'Bear Grylls would have been turning in his five-star hotel bed.' | 0:21:59 | 0:22:03 | |
We have totally messed this up, by the way. I'm out of my depth, guys. | 0:22:03 | 0:22:08 | |
-How many hours have we been out? Has anybody got a watch? -Yeah. | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
What time are we supposed be back? | 0:22:11 | 0:22:14 | |
I don't know. I don't know what time we left. Do you? | 0:22:14 | 0:22:16 | |
'I knew less about wilderness survival than | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
'Paris Hilton's Chihuahua. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
'But, a bad Scout Leader always blames his Scouts.' | 0:22:25 | 0:22:27 | |
Where were you when you were taught these things? | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
Have you got your Map Reading badge? Have you? | 0:22:29 | 0:22:33 | |
-No. -Have you? -We haven't got much badges. | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
You haven't got much badges? | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
-From Scouts. -From Scouts. Where have you got them from? Blue Peter? | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
-Come on. -Yeah, we have. | 0:22:41 | 0:22:42 | |
'What was supposed to be a few fun-filled minutes had | 0:22:42 | 0:22:45 | |
'turned into a three-hour nightmare.' | 0:22:45 | 0:22:49 | |
It's an absolute disaster. | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
Where is that place on this map? | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
We don't even know that! | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
Why weren't you listening in Cubs? | 0:22:55 | 0:22:56 | |
'Tired, cold and hungry, | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
'the "Scouts don't care" nonsense was just a distant memory. | 0:22:58 | 0:23:00 | |
'My Scouts did care about going home. | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
Does anyone see a fence, or where a fence used to be? | 0:23:03 | 0:23:06 | |
Oi! Come back! | 0:23:06 | 0:23:07 | |
I stood in dog shit again! | 0:23:07 | 0:23:10 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:23:10 | 0:23:12 | |
Somebody clean up after your dog! | 0:23:12 | 0:23:14 | |
Keep the Country Code! | 0:23:14 | 0:23:15 | |
Come on. Did anyone bring any little snacks or energy bars or | 0:23:17 | 0:23:21 | |
anything like that? You're hungry? | 0:23:21 | 0:23:23 | |
I'm hungry, that's what I'm saying. | 0:23:23 | 0:23:26 | |
Sooner or later, we're going to die. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
'It was over. We had no way of getting home. | 0:23:28 | 0:23:31 | |
'We were ten minutes from certain death. We were doomed.' | 0:23:31 | 0:23:34 | |
-You've got sat nav on your phone? -I think so. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:39 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:23:39 | 0:23:42 | |
'With their trusty sat nav, | 0:23:42 | 0:23:43 | |
six minutes later we were pretty much home.' | 0:23:43 | 0:23:45 | |
Did we take any supplies with us? Any water, anything? | 0:23:45 | 0:23:48 | |
-I took some water. -Did you? | 0:23:48 | 0:23:50 | |
-Yeah. -Why didn't you tell us that three hours ago, Jay? | 0:23:50 | 0:23:52 | |
I did, at the start! | 0:23:52 | 0:23:54 | |
-You didn't say you had anything! -Yes, I did! -No, you didn't! | 0:23:54 | 0:23:57 | |
You didn't say, "I've got water. Does anyone want a drink?" | 0:23:57 | 0:23:59 | |
'The defeated runt Scouts finally limped into camp. | 0:23:59 | 0:24:02 | |
'The super Scouts had been back for hours. | 0:24:02 | 0:24:04 | |
'It was game over for my childish anti-Scout nonsense.' | 0:24:04 | 0:24:07 | |
You'd think I'd have learned something, but no. | 0:24:07 | 0:24:09 | |
I set off with my group without so much as a bottle of water. | 0:24:09 | 0:24:12 | |
I didn't even ask the time. | 0:24:12 | 0:24:13 | |
I did even ask how long it was supposed to take. | 0:24:13 | 0:24:16 | |
I set off without even a bottle of water. That even annoys me a bit. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:21 | |
'In the real world, my attitude would have got us all killed. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:24 | |
'The thought of dying within earshot of a motorway services with | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
'a Postman Pat ride was just too humiliating. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:30 | |
'To be a good Scout Leader, I felt I should be useful on some level | 0:24:30 | 0:24:33 | |
'and I was a bit ashamed that, apart from a chocolate banana ghost, | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
'I'd brought nothing to the camp. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
'Luckily, Gareth came to my rescue.' | 0:24:38 | 0:24:40 | |
There's an Entertainer's badge, and I was quite hoping that you | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
would help some of the Scouts and yourself win an Entertainer's badge. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:47 | |
I could probably do some kind of little workshop thing, where we workshop ideas | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
and do a bit of almost observational stand-up about being a Scout. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:54 | |
If you can encourage them to get that information on how to do | 0:24:54 | 0:24:57 | |
that and give them the skills of how to do that, perfect Leader. | 0:24:57 | 0:25:01 | |
Right. I'll give that a go. | 0:25:01 | 0:25:04 | |
'Next day, like a man giving himself a home-made filling with | 0:25:04 | 0:25:06 | |
'a Black & Decker drill, I had the bit firmly between my teeth. | 0:25:06 | 0:25:09 | |
'I was now the anti-anti-Scout, | 0:25:09 | 0:25:11 | |
'determined to prove I could impart a valuable skill.' | 0:25:11 | 0:25:14 | |
Tonight, we're going to do is sketches, and, with a bit of luck, | 0:25:14 | 0:25:17 | |
if it goes well, you are going to earn your Entertainment badge. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:21 | |
CHEERING | 0:25:21 | 0:25:22 | |
And I am going to become a bona fide Scout Leader! | 0:25:22 | 0:25:25 | |
CHEERING | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
-You don't care, do you? -SCOUTS: -No! | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
Scouts don't care! | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
'Tonight, the camp would watch us perform. Entertainers badges on the line, | 0:25:30 | 0:25:34 | |
'I had a few short hours to turn them into little green Seinfelds. | 0:25:34 | 0:25:37 | |
'Lesson one, projection.' | 0:25:37 | 0:25:38 | |
Scouts don't care! | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
Scouts don't care! | 0:25:41 | 0:25:43 | |
Scouts don't care! | 0:25:43 | 0:25:44 | |
Didn't understand him, it's loud enough. | 0:25:44 | 0:25:46 | |
'Lesson two, facing the right way.' | 0:25:46 | 0:25:48 | |
You won't get a laugh if you're looking away or looking down. | 0:25:48 | 0:25:51 | |
Look at the audience. | 0:25:51 | 0:25:52 | |
'Less than three, props. | 0:25:52 | 0:25:53 | |
'Lesson four, hot dogs. | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
'Lesson five, using a chair. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
'Lesson six, material.' | 0:25:58 | 0:26:00 | |
What kind of cheese is made of cheese? | 0:26:00 | 0:26:03 | |
Cheese. | 0:26:03 | 0:26:04 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:26:04 | 0:26:05 | |
What's the most religious food? | 0:26:05 | 0:26:06 | |
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. | 0:26:06 | 0:26:08 | |
'Lesson seven, better material.' | 0:26:08 | 0:26:10 | |
Like, what's going on in the sketch? | 0:26:10 | 0:26:12 | |
It's like all of us pretending to be Leaders. We're handing out badges. | 0:26:12 | 0:26:17 | |
A fake ceremony where you're getting your badges. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:20 | |
What kinds of things are stupid badges? | 0:26:20 | 0:26:22 | |
-I Got Killed By Camp Food. -I Got Killed By Camp Food badge. | 0:26:22 | 0:26:25 | |
Maybe the people who carry him | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
could get the I Carried A Dead Person badge. | 0:26:27 | 0:26:29 | |
That's a good idea. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:31 | |
I don't think you're going to be very popular with the Leaders. | 0:26:31 | 0:26:34 | |
-Yeah, but guess what? -SCOUTS: -Scouts don't care! | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
That's getting old now. | 0:26:36 | 0:26:37 | |
What do you mean? Only been going a few hours. | 0:26:37 | 0:26:39 | |
"Be Prepared" has been knocking around since about 1920. | 0:26:39 | 0:26:42 | |
He's getting the Worst Comedian award. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
I'm getting the Worst Comedian award. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
I'll come out and get the Worst Comedian award. That's funny. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:49 | |
Exhausting. But we're getting there. | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
They're really creative, some good ideas. It's really funny. | 0:26:52 | 0:26:55 | |
We've just got to find a role for everyone | 0:26:55 | 0:26:57 | |
and then we've got to pull it off. | 0:26:57 | 0:26:59 | |
'As evening fell, an expectant crowd gathered round the campfire. | 0:26:59 | 0:27:03 | |
'This was our moment. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:04 | |
'I was as anxious for my Scouts as I was for myself. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:06 | |
'Their Entertainment badges | 0:27:06 | 0:27:08 | |
'and my I'm Not A Complete Dick badge were all hanging on this.' | 0:27:08 | 0:27:11 | |
Are we ready? | 0:27:11 | 0:27:12 | |
Go... | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
Rhod Squad! | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
We're going for it. We're going to do this. | 0:27:17 | 0:27:19 | |
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our comedy club! | 0:27:19 | 0:27:22 | |
CHEERING | 0:27:22 | 0:27:25 | |
I give you the Rhod Squad! | 0:27:25 | 0:27:27 | |
CHEERING | 0:27:27 | 0:27:29 | |
I'm Akela and welcome to the awards ceremony. | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
Pack, Pack, Pack! | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
Pack, Pack, Pack! | 0:27:35 | 0:27:37 | |
'The Rhod Squad's sketch parodied their badges ceremonies | 0:27:37 | 0:27:40 | |
'and the survival challenges of camping.' | 0:27:40 | 0:27:42 | |
I've got the Drinking Urine award! | 0:27:42 | 0:27:46 | |
AUDIENCE: Eeurgh! | 0:27:46 | 0:27:47 | |
RHOD LAUGHS | 0:27:47 | 0:27:50 | |
And it's not even mine! | 0:27:50 | 0:27:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:27:51 | 0:27:53 | |
Hey, where's my urine? | 0:27:55 | 0:27:56 | |
'And maybe this is what being a Scout Leader is all about - | 0:27:56 | 0:27:59 | |
'volunteering your time and bringing what you've got to the party. | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
'Even if, like me, you haven't got all that much to bring.' | 0:28:03 | 0:28:06 | |
I got the Longest Hair In My Hotdog award! | 0:28:06 | 0:28:09 | |
AUDIENCE: Eeurgh! | 0:28:09 | 0:28:10 | |
That genuinely happened while we were rehearsing! | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:28:12 | 0:28:14 | |
-Congratulations, Rhod. -Thank you. | 0:28:14 | 0:28:16 | |
I got the Worst Comedian In The World award! | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
CHEERING | 0:28:18 | 0:28:20 | |
Remember, folks! | 0:28:20 | 0:28:22 | |
-PERFORMERS: -Scouts don't care! | 0:28:22 | 0:28:25 | |
CHEERING | 0:28:25 | 0:28:28 | |
Well done, chaps! You nailed it! Give us a high five! Well done! | 0:28:28 | 0:28:31 | |
'First thing I've done | 0:28:31 | 0:28:32 | |
'while I've been here where I've sort of brought a little' | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
bit of my world and a little bit of my skills to what they do. | 0:28:35 | 0:28:39 | |
The rest of the time, just careering like a giraffe on roller-skates, | 0:28:39 | 0:28:43 | |
from one disaster to the next. | 0:28:43 | 0:28:46 | |
But it really moved me. I was really quite emotional. | 0:28:46 | 0:28:49 | |
There's no greater feeling | 0:28:49 | 0:28:52 | |
than helping kids. | 0:28:52 | 0:28:57 | |
It's amazing. | 0:28:57 | 0:28:59 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:29:03 | 0:29:05 |