Episode 1 Sugartown


Episode 1

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Transcript


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-# Do do doo

-I'm coming home, baby

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-# Do do do-oo-ooh do do doo

-I'm coming home now right away

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-# Do do doo

-I'm coming home, baby

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-# Do do do-oo-ooh do do doo

-I'm sorry now I ever went away

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-# Do do do do dooooo doo doo do

-Every night and day I go and stay

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-# I'm coming home, baby

-Come on home

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-# I'm coming home, baby now

-You know I'm waiting here for you

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-# I'm coming home now, reeeeal soon

-You've been gone

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-# I'm coming home, baby now

-You don't know what... #

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-Max Burr.

-Ron.

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Good of you to stop by.

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-Old place hasn't changed, has it?

-No, not far as I can tell.

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Now, don't get me wrong, it's good to see a Burr back

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and I'm all for progress but, I mean, we're not Vegas.

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-No, not as far as I can tell.

-A casino?

-Ah-ah, entertainment complex.

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We haven't even had bingo since '83.

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The days of the bucket and spade brigade are gone, Ron.

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Besides, you can't afford principles.

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Neither can this town.

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You're dying on your arse out there.

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But you know Sugartown, Max. It's a hotbed of community dynamism.

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Can't guarantee folk'll wear it.

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Ron...

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It hasn't sat well to sit on it.

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I had to keep it quiet. Still got to let the other towns down gently

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and there was a fair few councils begging me to set up shop on their patches.

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Bridlington...

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But no, for me it had to be Sugartown.

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I see it as my chance, to er... you know, give something back.

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You're a true Burr.

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After all, your family made Sugartown world famous throughout Britain.

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I suppose we'll be seeing you at our Emily's party tonight?

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Ah, yes, the birthday girl. Jason invited me.

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Seeing as I'm in town, I thought I'd disappoint him by turning up.

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Little bit more than a birthday though, eh?

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I expect Jason's asked you to be best man?

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Would you trust me round bridesmaids?

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# I got some troubles but they won't last

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# I'm going to lay right down here in the grass

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# And pretty soon all my troubles will pass

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# Cos I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo-shoo

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# Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo Sugartown #

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# La la la la laaa

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Ta-dah!

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Oh, that's great, really. It's great.

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-Well, we all made it.

-It's great.

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But Michael did the piping.

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She'd better say yes after all this, eh?

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Oh, we're covered for a negative scenario.

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Ooh!

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Oh, hey, Anne. Good of you to come.

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I made sure I wasn't tailed. I doubled-back on myself at Mr Cod.

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Thing is, I need your help. I'm going to pop the question to Emily.

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Am I the last person to know?

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No!

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Well, yeah... apart from Emily.

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I didn't want you to feel compromised, being her best mate.

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Oh, yeah. Well, that's probably for the best,

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cos you know me and secrets.

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I just need you to get her here for 6:30, OK?

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But I really want it to be a surprise, so... no telling, yeah?

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-Anne?

-I promise!

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SCREAMING

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-This is huge!

-This is huge!

-And has he got it all under control?

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Catering and so on. He hasn't just put out chips and dips?

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I'm wanting to say tapas but it all happened so fast.

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Oh, God, what do you wear to get proposed to?

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-Smart casual?

-'Thrown together' doesn't just happen, it takes planning.

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Oh, I wish he'd given me some notice.

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He knows I like all surprises run by me first.

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Just think, Em, marriage.

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That's, like, for the rest of your life,

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or till death do you part, whatever comes first.

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-Yeah.

-But I need you to act surprised.

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Confused. Wind.

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PHONE RINGS

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You're late. I was expecting you... hmm, three weeks ago.

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The sea air's done wonders for your mood. Status update?

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Well, let's see.

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I've been stuck here, in Happy Valley, on my own,

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completely carrying you for six weeks.

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The whole town shuts at eight and you can't get a proper cup of coffee.

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And yes, we're on schedule.

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Atta girl! Just need to move the eyes in the skies, sight lines are off.

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The locals keep trying to talk to me.

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They do that. They're more scared of you.

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I mean, they want to know what I'm up to.

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Did you tell them?

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No tourists, no through-trade and I spy with my little eye,

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no-one under the age of 70.

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Why here? I knew you hated the place, now I know why.

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Just proving a few people right.

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Hold on, where are you going?! We need to go over the drill, the girls are arriving tomorrow.

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You've got everything under control.

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Oh, listen, got a family do tonight. You can come with me.

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Do yourself up a bit first though, eh?

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Oh, look at them, they look lovely!

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Just don't ask where I got them at short notice.

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Lilies? Doesn't bode.

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They look very thirsty.

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Follow on, Michael. I've readied the buckets.

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A hoodie bearing booze. I hope Jason knows what he's doing.

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Now you know, I'm not one for tattle.

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But regarding that boy, word on the street is rife.

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That incident with the Swedish tourist?

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No-one really knows what happened in that aquarium.

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One can't help but hear rumours.

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And start them.

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Right, well, I think we're in a state of readiness.

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May as well get the staff back, we're behind with that Bognor order.

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They're enjoying themselves, let them be.

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Well, you're obviously planning a miracle I don't know about.

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I do the books, Jason.

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Bognor ditched us.

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Wha... Why?

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Well, as good as.

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That outfit in Donny stepped in. Cheaper, faster, whatever.

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And me out of aspirin.

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They were our last big client.

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Did you talk to them, haggle?

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No, I rolled over and said pull out, ruin the business I love, put these people out of work(!)

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Sarky martyr is not a good look, Jason.

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-Look, look, if we all got busy... I mean, I'll pitch in.

-I'll sort it.

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Jason, you're a good lad, but you're not bloody Atlas.

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AIR HORN PARPS

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-All right?

-All right?

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-What happened here?

-Wednesday.

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I said, um...what happened here?

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Wednesday. It's early closing.

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Have I come up North or back in time?

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-You want a ride or what?

-Yes, please. I'm looking for...

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-Burr?

-Get in.

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I'm a dancer.

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Yep, dancing. That's what I do.

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So, um, what do you do for fun around here?

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Leave.

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I think I'll team an ivory Vera Wang with a vintage shrug.

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Oh, well maybe I could go prom-style then.

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Or something that suits a boyish frame?

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Do you think Michael likes a boyish frame?

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Well, that's not news...

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SHE SQUEALS

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Oh, that's it! The surprised face!

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Wow, all lit up to welcome me!

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-Ron, you're protruding. Crouch.

-What?

-Tuck in your fat arse.

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Surprise!

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SHE SCREAMS

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Ron, weren't you meant to be on look-out?

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Now hold on, I was told to crouch.

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I couldn't see over the patatas bravas!

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CLEARS THROAT

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Surprise!

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-Surprise!

-Wow. I am utterly shocked.

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Really, really shocked! I mean...

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Jason.

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Yeah, right, um...

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Right, well, as... as you all know, me and Em here,

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we've been together for a while now.

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Fact is, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

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You all know her, know how kind she is, how smart,

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everything she does for everyone in this room.

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That's on top of the meals on wheels, fun runs...

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I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.

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With you, Em.

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So, what I... what I want to say is...

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Do you want a towel?

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Yes! The answer's yes.

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-Yeah?

-Yes.

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-To the... Not to the towel?

-Yes! The answer's yes!

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Cappuccino bar... That could be an art gallery, boutique.

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Oooh, another art gallery. Moderns and abstracts, mainly.

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This place has got potential, Sam. It's proper class.

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Just needs a bit of imagination.

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And taste.

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And capital.

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Which brings us to...

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Ooh.

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Cracking real estate, innit?

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No, Max. It's Burrs!

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-Burr says...

-Come on.

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If I know my brother they'll be on the cheap plonk by now.

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DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

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I mean, yeah, there were the weekends at Greenham and the floats at Pride

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and we always had Germaine Greer around the house.

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But in my head, I'm saying,

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"Ron, should you have given it longer at the commune?"

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But I want to get married, Dad.

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I know, I know. I just don't want to see my princess in chains.

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It's Jason we're talking about. He knows how to work a hoover.

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-I'm gaining a son.

-Ha ha!

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So, Ems, what do you think of our smashing cake here?

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Yeah, it's really quite... something.

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Have I got a broken neck?!

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Oh. Watch out for the butterfly prawns. They are minging.

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Family recipe.

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Yeah?

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Yeah... Well, "minging" as in "good".

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You know, like "wicked"?

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What do you think about my Ems, Margery?

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All grown up and getting married.

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Ah, I think it's minging!

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Oh, I'm really sorry about the whole... RHYTHMIC NOISES

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..completely ruining your big... Anyway, congratulations!

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I don't think we've been...

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Oh, I'm Carmen. So tell me, which one is Mr Burr?

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I have heard he is fit and lo-hoaded!

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-I'm sorry?

-Ah, I think I see.

-Max!

-Yeah.

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-Live and in person.

-Max?!

-Carmen?

-Mum!

-Carmen!

-Max.

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Oh, it's like panto.

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A casino?!

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-An entertainment complex.

-Max, what part of the brain d...?

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Oh, Jase, jeez, take the stick of rock out of your backside.

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It's all legit.

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-This is a family resort. It'd kill the town.

-By creating jobs, hope, that sort of thing?

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Well, we're happy with the town as it is.

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Oh, sorry, hang on. Hello?

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Oh, it's the 1950s. Must be for you.

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-What's this all about, Max?

-A lifeline. For you, that is.

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-Meaning?

-Meaning rock ain't rolling any more.

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-We're done.

-No. We're not.

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Yes. We are.

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Would you like to dance, Anne?

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God, yeah!

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# How do you like it? How do you like it?

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# More, more, more

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# How do you like it? How do you like... #

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You can't go anywhere without causing trouble.

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-What's going on?

-Nothing, just a fuse. I'll sort it.

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I'm impressed. I always had you down as a gold digger.

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The happy couple.

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-I wish he'd just stay out of our lives.

-Really?

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It's you I'm marrying, isn't it?

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I'm sorry.

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This is my night... and to some extent yours.

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-And I won't let Max ruin it.

-He's family, he's all I've got.

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Not any more.

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Finish your breakfast then I'll walk you to the train station.

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Mr Burr hired me because I'm good.

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At what?

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Carmen, why didn't you tell me?

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Because I wanted to surprise you. Surprise!

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Oh, Mum, I've been stuck in the chorus line for two years.

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The only time I got noticed was that incident with the runaway horse in Seven Brides.

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And no-one thanked me for it.

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Are you in the entertainment industry?

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Well, I am a dancer, yeah.

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Are you somebody? Do I know you?

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You might have seen me in the West End... perhaps?

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We're fine, thank you.

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You were a showgirl, a headliner.

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You had feathers and stuff.

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There's a little more to it than that.

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Like?

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Like you're not doing it.

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You can't stop me. It's my life and I'll make my own decisions.

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I'm doing it, and nothing you can say or do will stop me.

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-Ooh...could I borrow a fiver for lunch?

-MAX: Fire her?

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Who do you think I am, Alan bloody Sugar? She hasn't started yet. And there are laws!

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You need a reason to fire somebody.

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-How about "she's not well"?

-What? As in contagious or disfiguring?

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She goes up and down, she can't control her moods.

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Have you seen the other girls? I've got three students and a Yorkshire Pudding.

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-I mean, your Carmen's proper class, she's got legs up to tomorrow, bangers like...

-Er! My daughter!

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I know. It's a compliment.

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What is it with you people? Friends, family, you're all the bloody same.

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Coming down here, telling me what's what. Oh, don't open a casino, Max!

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Don't hire my daughter, Max! Well, you know what? My business, my rules.

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I'm not going to hang around to watch my daughter make the same mistakes I did.

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-Fine. I quit!

-You can't quit, you're my Artistic Director.

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Always pays to laminate.

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-Oh, Em, your mum would have been so proud of you.

-I doubt it.

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She didn't believe in marriage. At least not her own.

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She was quite fast, weren't she?

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I can't blame the Rainbow Warriors any more than I can point my finger at the Wiccans.

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It was the swinging that got her in the end.

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At least you know that Jason's a Steady Eddie.

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I mean, he'd never do anything crazy slash wild.

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He'd never be like "film romance", or...

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-Dependable.

-Yes, Anne. Quite.

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-What time is it?

-Box files.

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-What question did I just ask?

-Can you archive your paper at work? I need these box files.

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We set the date for a year's time and it can't wait till after breakfast?

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You realise the lead time for a wedding is 18 months, according to Best Bride.

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And what does "Overwhelmed Groom" have to say?

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It says colour code a wall chart or get out from underfoot. Where what did I put that glitter stick?

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-See you later, fiancee.

-Love you!

-Bye.

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-Yo!

-All right?

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My mother's gone completely parentoid, and I'm not even joking.

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So, reckon I could get the grand tour in an hour?

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What do you want to do with the other 59 minutes?

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So, if you're this big time dancer, what are you doing here?

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I've been working on my own act, I'm ready to showcase my moves.

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I'm going to bring dance to the people.

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I seen inside that club. Sugartown might be a step down from the Palladium, is all.

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Yeah, well, what would you know about dance, anyway?

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God, do you ever feel like you're breathing, but it's not enough?

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And if you don't get more air, you'll like,

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totally suffocate.

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And you see everyone else and they're just fine breathing.

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I want to show you something.

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Water! Oh no...

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a bird?

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Belgium. That's where I'm headed.

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Bloody hell, this place must be a dump if you want to go there(!)

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Just the starting leg. Saving up, aren't I?

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-Going to travel the world.

-And do what?

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-Odd jobs, whatever.

-That's all you do here, isn't it?

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Point is, it won't be here. You think you're the only one that wants to breathe?!

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I don't pretend to be an expert, Em, but...

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would you really need to wear these on your day of days?

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Too High School Musical.

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Bad Barbie.

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As modelled by Gloria Hunniford.

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Oh, Em! You look like Cheryl Cole!

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Bag her up.

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Why do you want to leave?

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I think you've got it mint here.

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You must have been totally over- stimulated in the city.

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Yeah, well I've got a busy head.

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It's nice, it's quiet here.

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-Gives me room to think.

-About what?

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Like, if you were a gentleman, you'd totally give me your coat.

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-If you were a big time dancer, you'd have your own.

-Ha-ha.

0:21:240:21:27

Come here.

0:21:310:21:33

Wow!

0:21:370:21:39

Are they all from here?

0:21:420:21:43

You're not the first dancer in Sugartown, you know.

0:21:430:21:46

It's incredible!

0:21:460:21:48

Regionals, Nationals.

0:21:480:21:51

I was meant to come.

0:21:510:21:53

I've got to go! Oh, my God!

0:21:530:21:58

Bye!

0:21:590:22:01

Ah!

0:22:010:22:04

Rosemary's baby. I don't think I'm your mum's favourite person at the moment.

0:22:040:22:08

Yeah? Don't reckon I'm top ten.

0:22:080:22:10

But, listen, because I am psyched about this job, I've been thinking routines. Now, go with me.

0:22:100:22:15

Have you seen Chicago? I would need a trapeze.

0:22:150:22:17

Yeah, good one.

0:22:170:22:19

Right, now normally your mum would do this bit, but we're class not ass, OK?

0:22:190:22:24

Anyone gets too frisky, you give a nod to security.

0:22:240:22:27

You're here to keep the punters well watered and flashing their cash, but you are my untouchable goddess.

0:22:270:22:32

You're not...

0:22:320:22:34

You're healthy, right?

0:22:340:22:36

-Yeah!

-Yeah?

0:22:360:22:37

-See?

-Yes.

0:22:420:22:44

Yes, I do.

0:22:440:22:46

Er, right...

0:22:460:22:48

Girls!

0:22:480:22:50

-Britney.

-Hi.

-Celine.

-Hi.

-Mariah.

-You all right?

0:22:500:22:55

-Hello.

-Mama Cass.

0:22:550:22:56

-Everyone, this is Kylie.

-Oh!

0:22:560:22:59

Actually, I'm Carmen.

0:22:590:23:01

Not here you're not. Right, costume!

0:23:010:23:04

There you go.

0:23:040:23:06

-Where's the rest of it?

-Oh!

0:23:060:23:09

Your mum was a legend, by the way. Apparently, she used to do this thing with balloons. It was...

0:23:150:23:21

Anyway, I've got to shoot, but, um, welcome aboard, Kylie.

0:23:230:23:28

Oh!

0:23:370:23:39

I tried to stop him.

0:23:390:23:42

You may as well take it in.

0:23:420:23:44

-Tut, tut, Jason. You've been juggling debt like Billy Barnum.

-What are you doing in my office?

0:23:500:23:55

Our office.

0:23:560:23:57

Deal was you're a silent partner.

0:23:570:24:01

I'd have to be a bloody comatose one to let this go on.

0:24:010:24:03

-We've seen through difficult times before, but Dad always said...

-But Daddy Dearest never made a loss, eh?

0:24:030:24:09

Someone has been riding in on their white charge card once a month.

0:24:090:24:13

-Does Em know you've been paying the staff out of your personal nest egg?

-What do you want, Max?

-What's mine.

0:24:130:24:18

I'll be fair. I know you haven't got the cash, so I'll buy you out.

0:24:180:24:23

You don't want this factory.

0:24:250:24:26

Correct. I do want this building, though.

0:24:260:24:29

I've got an investor lined up.

0:24:290:24:31

Lick of paint, won't know the place.

0:24:310:24:33

-To do what with, exactly?

-Oh, I'm sure I'll think of something.

0:24:330:24:36

This factory means the world to this community.

0:24:360:24:38

They've even named the sodding town after it, for God's sake!

0:24:380:24:41

Not much you can do about it, as it turns out.

0:24:410:24:44

I had my lawyers look over Dad's will.

0:24:440:24:46

Interesting reading.

0:24:460:24:48

Should have done it years ago.

0:24:480:24:49

It's all there.

0:24:490:24:51

Watertight as a duck's behind.

0:24:510:24:54

You know,

0:24:540:24:56

you'll thank me for this one day, J.

0:24:560:24:58

I'll give you a shout out when I've got all the details sorted with my backer, all right?

0:24:580:25:02

What about this one?

0:25:120:25:14

Six for flavour, eight for appearance.

0:25:140:25:17

And that one?

0:25:170:25:19

Oh, I don't know, I haven't got that one.

0:25:190:25:24

-Anne!

-Sorry.

0:25:240:25:26

I need you to be my eyes and ears. You have to concentrate.

0:25:260:25:28

-It's just we've been here for nearly an hour and a half and...

-You expect me to score my own marzipan?

0:25:280:25:33

-Afternoon.

-Max, hello!

0:25:370:25:40

Em, look, it's Max!

0:25:400:25:42

-What do you want?

-Oh, no, just saying hi. I like what you've done with your hair, Anne. A new look?

0:25:420:25:47

No, it is not new. She's had it the same, with the...

0:25:470:25:50

Since second year infants, as you well know.

0:25:500:25:53

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and see my fiance.

0:25:530:25:58

You and Jason need to work on your welcomes.

0:25:580:26:01

Wedding cake, mmm.

0:26:010:26:02

Uh huh, not my flavour.

0:26:050:26:08

A grand!

0:26:100:26:12

-For a cake?

-Oh, don't you start.

0:26:120:26:14

I've already had Anne going emotionally AWOL.

0:26:140:26:17

That's how much these things cost.

0:26:170:26:18

-For a cake!

-The premium cake comes with a discount on sugared almonds.

0:26:180:26:22

-Emily, I make these!

-But not with the right ribbon.

0:26:220:26:24

-Weddings take pinpoint planning. You can't just cater for 500 without...

-500?!

0:26:240:26:29

-Is there anybody in Yorkshire you're not planning on inviting?

-Jason,

0:26:290:26:33

if you had a problem, you would tell me, wouldn't you?

0:26:330:26:36

-I could help.

-What, Emily to the rescue?

0:26:360:26:40

-Not everything in life can be sorted with a glitter stick.

-Jason!

0:26:400:26:43

For God sake's, Emily, how much money have you wasted?

0:26:430:26:45

We'll just forget the whole thing, shall we? Engagement, wedding, feel good factor for the town?

0:26:450:26:50

I reckon that's the first sane thing you've said so far.

0:26:500:26:53

It was you who proposed. Yesterday!

0:26:530:26:56

-Before I realised I'd be getting hitched to bride bloody zilla!

-Oh, no, not that one! No, Jase!

0:26:560:27:00

No!

0:27:000:27:02

No, no, no, no!

0:27:020:27:04

Maybe you're right. We shouldn't be getting married if you can't even talk to me!

0:27:050:27:10

Talk to me! Please?

0:27:100:27:14

Look, I didn't want you to find out like this.

0:27:170:27:20

Actually, I didn't want you to find out at all.

0:27:200:27:23

What? That all this time you were just a waitress? A kitten!

0:27:230:27:28

Actually, I was a bunny.

0:27:280:27:29

My whole life I wanted to be like you.

0:27:290:27:32

I thought you were a proper dancer.

0:27:320:27:34

I was! With a child to support!

0:27:340:27:36

Oh, so you only did it because you got knocked up with me?

0:27:360:27:39

What can I say? It was worth it knowing how grateful you'd be. No, you're not going back!

0:27:390:27:43

Yes! I've got to practise carrying a tray in heels.

0:27:430:27:45

I'm not proud of what I did, Carmen, but I'm not ashamed either.

0:27:450:27:48

If I'd kept dancing, it would have meant dragging you round the country, and you not being well...

0:27:480:27:54

Yeah, I know I was a burden.

0:27:560:27:59

Not what I was going to say.

0:28:020:28:05

Look, you could make it.

0:28:070:28:10

You could go all the way.

0:28:100:28:13

I just don't want you giving up your dream up like...

0:28:130:28:15

Did you tell Max I was crackers?

0:28:150:28:17

No!

0:28:170:28:19

I mentioned you had a few problems that meant...

0:28:210:28:24

Meant I screw up everything I do.

0:28:240:28:26

Least I know where I get it from now.

0:28:290:28:32

So, will she live, doc?

0:28:390:28:42

Er, heating element's blown. I'll need to call the engineer.

0:28:420:28:45

Have you switched it on and off again?

0:28:450:28:47

I just said it needs the engineer.

0:28:470:28:49

-Right, home time.

-What?

-We're not going to get anything else done today. Everybody out!

0:28:490:28:53

But the Bognor order? If we all pitched in...

0:28:530:28:55

For Christ's sake, Margery, do I have to get a bloody eviction notice? I said out! Everybody out!

0:28:550:29:00

You heard the man.

0:29:010:29:03

And that little display was because...?

0:29:050:29:09

-Max is threatening to take his share.

-What?

0:29:110:29:15

Well, that's preposterous. It would close down the factory.

0:29:150:29:17

I think that's the general idea.

0:29:170:29:19

It's here in black and white.

0:29:210:29:23

Dad may have made me manager, but when you read the small print

0:29:230:29:26

the actual ownership is, "to be divided equally between my sons".

0:29:260:29:29

-Sons?

-Equally.

0:29:290:29:31

-Sons.

-Yeah You're kind of focusing on the wrong bit, Margery.

0:29:320:29:35

I'll call the engineer.

0:29:360:29:38

More expense. Maybe I should just lob myself into a vat of molten rock, too, eh?

0:29:380:29:43

Yeah, that's the spirit.

0:29:430:29:45

KNOCKING

0:29:450:29:47

What did you say to Jason?

0:29:520:29:54

Emily, how nice. Do come in.

0:29:540:29:56

Something's changed, and it was after he saw you.

0:29:560:29:59

-Well, he's your blushing husband to be, ask him.

-I'm asking you.

0:29:590:30:03

-Tell me, you actually want to marry Captain Sensible?

-Of course I do!

0:30:050:30:10

Though after seeing you, he threw my wedding dress into a vat of molten rock.

0:30:100:30:16

So, some might say the wedding's looking a little less likely now.

0:30:160:30:20

Well, tell you what, why don't we let fate decide, eh?

0:30:200:30:24

Black you marry him.

0:30:260:30:28

Red you marry me.

0:30:280:30:29

Everything's just a game to you, isn't it?

0:30:360:30:38

Who cares if you break a heart or two along the way.

0:30:380:30:41

Oh, wow, broken heart! Sounds serious.

0:30:410:30:44

I, um...

0:30:450:30:47

I should tell you, Ems,

0:30:470:30:50

the house always wins...in the end.

0:30:500:30:54

Sorry, Mr Burr.

0:30:580:31:00

Are you sure there are no other ears? I'm very wonky.

0:31:000:31:03

-Have you got it?

-Put it down to you...

0:31:110:31:13

Em! Emily?

0:31:130:31:16

Steady. Steady.

0:31:170:31:19

M-A-X-X-X? Is that how he spells his name now?

0:31:190:31:25

Why didn't you Twitter the Business Taskforce?

0:31:270:31:30

I thought he had a complex. I knew nothing about...

0:31:300:31:32

The short of it is, my hands are tied in a legal loophole.

0:31:320:31:36

Just putting it out there, but is it such a bad idea?

0:31:360:31:40

You know, tourism's down and the kids leave soonest they can.

0:31:400:31:43

-Maybe we do need a booster.

-But what if dice means vice.

0:31:430:31:47

Who knows what kind of clientele he'll attract.

0:31:470:31:50

Predators wanting to groom me... Us!

0:31:500:31:53

-And if we don't like it, we don't go, right? And we had we bingo back in...

-'83.

0:31:530:31:58

But the callers didn't have ears, did they? I mean, ears, Michael, ears!

0:31:580:32:02

Are you all right, Margery? You seem a bit fraught.

0:32:020:32:04

I'm perfectly fine. I'm just saying that I have known Max, man and boy, and he has expansionist tendencies.

0:32:040:32:12

No, we haven't seen the run of it.

0:32:120:32:13

Well, what's he going to do? Stage a coup at the next Taskforce meeting?

0:32:130:32:17

Hostile takeover the whole town with his crack team of kittens?!

0:32:170:32:20

-We should have Jason here for this.

-He's got other concerns.

0:32:200:32:24

-Possibly.

-What?

0:32:240:32:26

Well, I'm not sure Jason would want me to divulge this, but...

0:32:280:32:31

..Max wants the factory.

0:32:340:32:35

Or, rather, he wants the building of the factory, not the factory.

0:32:350:32:39

And it seems he can get it, too.

0:32:390:32:41

Something to do with Burt's will.

0:32:410:32:43

-What about...

-Don't ask me why because I don't know.

0:32:430:32:46

And I also know absolutely no way of stopping him, so you can all stop

0:32:460:32:51

-looking at me like that.

-< There might be one way.

0:32:510:32:54

-Max has a guy, some big venture capitalist, coming today.

-From London?

0:32:540:33:00

No, Sheffield. But, apparently, his mum came from here, or some sort of family tie,

0:33:000:33:06

so he's serious about investing in the town.

0:33:060:33:08

Now, hey, look, none of my business, but I do know Max has got big plans

0:33:080:33:12

and he needs this guy to see them through. So, if I were you...

0:33:120:33:17

..I'd maybe take matters into your own hands.

0:33:230:33:27

What, like, torch the club?

0:33:270:33:29

Thinking more along the lines of letting this guy know you're not behind Max.

0:33:290:33:33

No-one wants to put their money where it's not wanted.

0:33:330:33:35

Direct action!

0:33:370:33:39

-Am I late?

-For Woodstock? By about 40 years.

0:33:420:33:46

OK people, come on, let's organise.

0:33:460:33:49

-I've raided my stash.

-Thanks, Ron.

0:33:490:33:53

-Come on, Michael.

-Michael! No!

0:33:530:33:56

No, sorry, that's my spot.

0:33:560:33:58

Does it really matter?

0:33:580:34:00

I said, that's my spot!

0:34:000:34:01

Yes.

0:34:020:34:04

-Yes?

-Yes. Maybe.

0:34:040:34:08

Look, Max, don't get me wrong, I have roots here, deep ones, 20 generations.

0:34:080:34:15

But the town wasn't even on my sat nav.

0:34:150:34:17

Green, beach, sea. Not a bloody dot.

0:34:170:34:21

The seaside's coming back, Ken.

0:34:210:34:23

I'm looking for a ground floor investor who, like me, sees Sugartown as a blank canvas.

0:34:250:34:31

A blank, and as yet undeveloped, dirt cheap, Georgian frontaged canvas with good transport links.

0:34:310:34:38

But will they come?

0:34:380:34:39

You know what they say, if we build it.

0:34:390:34:42

HARMONICA PLAYS

0:34:420:34:46

-And I ask again, "Would anyone like to swap?"

-Tea time!

0:34:500:34:54

Seriously, if you think I'm spending the next week listening to Ron "Blowing in the Wind"...

0:35:000:35:06

Max Burr! I stand a disappointed man.

0:35:080:35:11

I mean, kittens! I can't fit that square peg into my feminist hole.

0:35:110:35:17

-Here!

-Well said, Ron!

-Yeah.

0:35:170:35:19

-Well, when our Mayor's finished burning his bra?

-Mayor?

-Of Toy Town, Ken.

-Well, hang on!

0:35:190:35:24

I need to factor in local opinion, Max.

0:35:240:35:27

All right, what's your point?

0:35:270:35:29

That we'd like to make you...

0:35:290:35:31

A counter offer?

0:35:310:35:33

We have rock, AKA, a USP.

0:35:330:35:36

We're family friendly, and I say that in an inclusive to alternative lifestyles sense.

0:35:360:35:40

Let me stir-fry something in your think wok, Ken.

0:35:400:35:44

One word, "staycations".

0:35:440:35:46

I know I'm watching my carbon footprints in the sand.

0:35:460:35:49

Folk are holidaying at home again.

0:35:490:35:50

At the moment, they're not doing it here.

0:35:500:35:52

But if we could restore the rock factory back to its former glory.

0:35:520:35:56

Can you build a town on rock alone?

0:35:560:35:58

It would be a tourist attraction!

0:35:580:36:00

Sweet treat theme park.

0:36:000:36:03

I'd need to know that there's plenty of tourist "sugar" in rock.

0:36:030:36:08

-Flesh it out and I'll consider.

-We have lots of good ideas!

0:36:100:36:14

We have no ideas.

0:36:180:36:21

-I'm sorry.

-You should have told me, Jason.

0:36:260:36:29

What, that you'd be marrying a failure? All those folks were counting on me for their jobs.

0:36:290:36:35

Mum and Dad got married at a love-in and look where it got them.

0:36:360:36:40

So I'd had this big idea.

0:36:400:36:42

A perfect wedding. Start as you mean to go on.

0:36:420:36:45

All that matters is not that one day,

0:36:450:36:48

it's all the ones after it.

0:36:480:36:51

I want to be your wife, Jason Burr.

0:36:510:36:55

You are very dependable.

0:36:570:37:00

No-one'll take this lying down. We are going to fight for this factory.

0:37:030:37:07

-This is for me to sort.

-But you're not on your own!

0:37:070:37:09

Besides, we've all just had a meeting with Max's investor.

0:37:090:37:13

You've just had a meeting about the factory without me?

0:37:150:37:18

Like a pre-meeting. He was really interested, actually.

0:37:180:37:21

Yeah, I bet he bloody was! How do you know he's not going to go and tell Max all?

0:37:210:37:24

We're trying to help. We've said we'll put a presentation together.

0:37:240:37:27

This could save the factory, Jason!

0:37:270:37:29

Don't bother. Max was right, rock is dead.

0:37:290:37:32

All right, so what do we have?

0:37:340:37:36

An ageing population and a fading sense of hope.

0:37:360:37:40

I'm sorry,

0:37:400:37:42

he just won't budge.

0:37:420:37:44

What we're looking for is something that makes Sugartown special.

0:37:460:37:50

A rare species of puffin, some indication that someone important once came here, even if by accident.

0:37:500:37:56

Well, this is the place for it. I mean, anything that's important

0:37:560:37:58

to the town's past that nobody's actually interested in is stored here.

0:37:580:38:03

Didn't we have a famous murderer? The Flamborough Flayer?

0:38:030:38:06

I think he came from Flamborough, as is evidenced by his name, The Flamborough Flayer.

0:38:060:38:11

God, nothing good ever happens in Sugartown!

0:38:110:38:14

Fish! We've got fish!

0:38:160:38:18

I don't think we have a monopoly on the bounty of the sea, Anne.

0:38:180:38:21

Let's start looking, shall we?

0:38:210:38:23

I remember when you said, "Dad, I'm going to beauty school".

0:38:370:38:40

And I said, "Anything you want to do, Princess, is fine by me,

0:38:400:38:44

"though I don't hold with it myself, as the pursuit of a feminine ideal - reinforces gender stereotypes."

0:38:440:38:50

And you said,

0:38:500:38:52

"I don't need beauty school to make me a stereotype". And I said, "Fine."

0:38:520:38:56

And it was, for me and your mum.

0:38:560:38:59

Be it whatever,

0:38:590:39:01

the white witchery, ritual paganism,

0:39:010:39:05

Black Panthers.

0:39:050:39:08

If you love them,

0:39:080:39:10

you have to let them get there in their own time.

0:39:100:39:12

He'll come round.

0:39:120:39:14

Maybe Max will, too.

0:39:170:39:19

METALLIC CLANKING

0:39:250:39:27

This is all very well, but how precisely is this going to move us forward?

0:39:430:39:48

-Oooh!

-Don't.

-No, this one is good!

0:39:480:39:51

-No.

-But you're a dancer.

-No, I was a dancer.

0:39:510:39:55

Different lifetime.

0:39:550:39:57

And there are hundreds more, just like this one, all won by Sugartown.

0:39:580:40:02

Of course, it was before my time.

0:40:020:40:05

Yes, and mine.

0:40:050:40:07

I'm future facing as a rule and, hat's off, Blackpool play the long game, but going back,

0:40:070:40:12

it seems Sugartown used to be the centre for dance, and I'm talking famous.

0:40:120:40:16

Yeah, they used to came from all over for a whirl on the pier.

0:40:160:40:21

-So I'm told.

-We need to convince this Ken that Sugartown's past is worth holding on to.

0:40:210:40:26

Along with rock, it turns out dance is the one thing that put this town on the map.

0:40:260:40:30

Look, Max wants to change this town.

0:40:300:40:32

We just want to hold on to what it's always been about.

0:40:320:40:34

So, we were thinking, we could put on a presentation.

0:40:340:40:37

A gala night to impress this Ken. It could be it could save the factory.

0:40:370:40:41

Look, we're none of us hotsteppers, so we'd need professional guidance.

0:40:410:40:44

Sorry, guys, I learnt long ago, don't get involved.

0:40:440:40:49

Oh, isn't your daughter somebody! Couldn't she get involved?

0:40:490:40:52

We'd need a space big enough to move around a bit.

0:40:540:40:58

I'll get my truss out!

0:40:580:41:00

So, have any of you got any experience?

0:41:020:41:07

-I can mash potato.

-He can mash potato.

-But can you do the Twist?

0:41:070:41:12

Er, no, no. Sorry, I can't do that. Sciatica.

0:41:120:41:16

I did a bit of disco at school. I'm not saying I was pro level, but...

0:41:160:41:19

Disco, right. Well, working on that vast experience base, Anne,

0:41:190:41:25

CD Two, please?

0:41:250:41:28

We'll try a bit of freestyle, give me an impression of how you move.

0:41:280:41:32

DISCO MUSIC PLAYS

0:41:320:41:37

Right! Let's get started.

0:41:570:42:00

MUSIC: "Disco Inferno" by The Trammps

0:42:000:42:03

# Burn baby burn

0:42:040:42:05

# Burn baby burn

0:42:070:42:09

# Burn baby burn

0:42:100:42:13

# To my surprise

0:42:150:42:17

# 100 storeys high

0:42:170:42:21

# People getting loose y'all

0:42:210:42:25

# Getting down on the roof

0:42:250:42:28

# I tell ya the folks were screaming. #

0:42:280:42:32

14 red.

0:42:340:42:35

COOL JAZZY MUSIC

0:42:350:42:39

# Secrets I hide in me deep down inside of me

0:42:460:42:50

# I keep them I keep them at bay ay ay

0:42:500:42:54

# No-one will ever know... # Liam, two glasses, one bottle.

0:42:540:42:58

Listen up, I've got a VIP in tonight, all right?

0:42:580:43:00

-I want you to make him feel special. Give him a bit of a chat, a drink or two.

-I don't drink.

0:43:000:43:05

-It's on the house.

-I don't drink.

0:43:050:43:07

-Well, all right, do you chat?

-Maybe.

-Right.

0:43:070:43:11

OK, I just want you to be my hostess with the mostess, all right?

0:43:110:43:14

You'll be doing me a real favour, all right? OK, off you pop.

0:43:140:43:18

I need something to change for me.

0:43:200:43:22

-Here we go.

-Ken, I brought you a lucky charm.

0:43:220:43:26

Look after you for the evening.

0:43:280:43:30

Lovely.

0:43:300:43:32

Hello, my love.

0:43:400:43:41

Let's play, shall we?

0:43:410:43:43

Yes.

0:43:430:43:45

# ..Farewell you gentlemen goodbye my mental friends

0:43:460:43:50

# You hear what I'm sayin'...? #

0:43:500:43:53

-Yahoo! Ha-ha! Ho!

-Wow!

0:43:530:43:56

-Get in! Lovely!

-Let's be having you.

0:43:560:44:00

# ..I'm going to bury my troubles away

0:44:070:44:11

# I'm going to bury my troubles away

0:44:110:44:15

-# I'm going to bury my troubles... #

-More champagne over here, please!

0:44:150:44:21

-# ..Away! #

-That's 13. Come on!

0:44:210:44:23

In a minute, love.

0:44:230:44:25

Kittens rule!

0:44:250:44:28

-I tell you what. We are on a roll, Kylie.

-All right!

-Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets.

0:44:280:44:32

Mm, I got a really good feeling on evens. Double or nothing?

0:44:320:44:36

-What? No! Don't put it all on! What are you doing?

-No more bets.

0:44:360:44:40

Ooh! Ooh!

0:44:400:44:42

Nine red, odd.

0:44:470:44:50

Whoopsies.

0:44:510:44:53

That was 20 sodding thou'!

0:44:530:44:57

I'm not really a kitten.

0:44:570:44:58

-Carmen! Down.

-I'm not really a Kylie.

-What the hell kind of scam are you running? I want my money back.

0:44:580:45:05

-All right. Ken I'm sure...

-You running a scam?

-Yeah, course he is.

-I want my money back, if so.

0:45:050:45:09

No, no, no, no, no, no! No scam, all right? No scam. This gentleman's just chancing it, all right? No scam.

0:45:090:45:15

You have my word, OK?

0:45:150:45:16

This isn't over, Burr.

0:45:280:45:29

You're nuts, aren't you, eh? That's why Sam was so worried about you. Total bonkers crazy woman.

0:45:330:45:38

Get out!

0:45:380:45:40

Oi, Kylie!

0:45:510:45:53

Come here!

0:45:550:45:57

Carmen!

0:46:000:46:01

Carmen!

0:46:010:46:03

Carmen, what are you doing?

0:46:040:46:06

-Be back in a second.

-No! You don't understand, you're going too fast!

-Yep!

0:46:060:46:10

OK, I'm going a little too fast!

0:46:100:46:12

-Carmen, stay away from the beach! Use the brakes, use the brakes!

-Can't find them.

0:46:120:46:16

-Agh! Argh!

-SHE SCREAMS

0:46:160:46:20

I'm in the sea! Travis!

0:46:210:46:23

-Oh, my God, I don't want to die.

-You're not going to die, come on.

0:46:230:46:28

-I can't swim!

-You can, but...

-I can't swim!

-Salt causes...

0:46:280:46:31

Whoo! Travis!

0:46:310:46:33

-You'll be fine, it's not deep.

-Take my hand!

0:46:330:46:35

-You've got to stand up!

-I can stand!

0:46:350:46:39

I've got you.

0:46:390:46:41

I'm so sorry.

0:46:470:46:49

What? I've just had a near death experience.

0:47:120:47:15

Yeah, I reckon you might be having another one soon.

0:47:150:47:18

It's healthy!

0:47:180:47:20

Look, salad!

0:47:200:47:23

I'm sorry for almost killing you and for drowning your bike.

0:47:250:47:30

-Rickshaw.

-Rickshaw.

0:47:300:47:33

It's just, I have this thing.

0:47:330:47:36

Like, I do crazy stuff.

0:47:360:47:39

I'm meant to take these pills.

0:47:390:47:41

Basically, I'm crackers.

0:47:450:47:47

I've ruined your career, haven't I?

0:47:490:47:51

-Have you got a spare rickshaw?

-Not on me.

0:47:530:47:56

I'm so sorry.

0:47:570:47:59

It wasn't a career.

0:48:030:48:06

Least I'll have to sort myself out now, work out what I'm going to do.

0:48:060:48:10

You're welcome?

0:48:100:48:12

Oh, don't.

0:48:200:48:22

Um, I've got eggy breath.

0:48:220:48:25

MURMUR OF IMAGINED VOICES IN BACKGROUND

0:48:480:48:53

Oh, sorry.

0:49:370:49:39

Nice necklace.

0:49:400:49:42

From a girlfriend?

0:49:420:49:45

No.

0:49:450:49:47

It's from my mum.

0:49:470:49:49

-What?

-No, I think it's nice that a grown man is that close to his mum.

0:49:500:49:56

I'm not.

0:49:560:49:57

I was adopted. The necklace was all they said she'd left me.

0:49:570:50:00

You mean...

0:50:000:50:02

you don't know who she is?

0:50:020:50:04

So she could be, like, someone important or famous? That's brilliant.

0:50:060:50:13

-Oh, and at the same time, very, very sad.

-Not really.

0:50:150:50:20

I mean, she obviously couldn't care less, and neither do I.

0:50:200:50:23

And yet you wear the necklace?

0:50:230:50:26

I'm not being funny, but I've got to get going.

0:50:260:50:29

Oh, of course, what are we doing today?

0:50:290:50:31

I am going to go find work.

0:50:310:50:34

You should go back to your mum, who's probably doing her nut in with worry.

0:50:340:50:38

-She never bought me one half of a necklace.

-But she was there, wasn't she?

0:50:380:50:42

Side, and little less than we planned.

0:50:430:50:46

Come on, we've still got two hours practice before tonight. Side, side. Emily, would you just take over?

0:50:460:50:53

Keep going, keep going.

0:50:530:50:56

-Where the hell have you been?

-Losing another job.

0:50:560:51:00

Congratulations.

0:51:000:51:02

What happened?

0:51:030:51:04

I didn't like it. I'm fine.

0:51:040:51:08

I'm totally rubbish, aren't I?

0:51:120:51:13

What am I good for? No-one gets me.

0:51:130:51:17

-I don't get you.

-Yeah, but you tolerate me.

-I have to, you're family.

0:51:170:51:20

Thanks for not saying "I told you so".

0:51:200:51:27

Well, you can pay me back by doing one thing.

0:51:270:51:29

Come to the gala tonight.

0:51:290:51:31

OK, but I'm not going there with the dance thing any more, so...

0:51:310:51:36

-don't even try and get my groove back or anything.

-Fine.

-Are you OK?

0:51:360:51:41

You look...glowy.

0:51:410:51:43

Think I might have got my groove back.

0:51:430:51:47

I don't reckon you'll impress some big investor bloke here.

0:51:490:51:53

Use the factory. My dispatch is all still done up after our "do".

0:51:540:51:58

Give this Ken a better clue about what we're fighting for.

0:51:580:52:00

Give him that sweet taste of what Sugartown's all about, yeah?

0:52:000:52:04

Ladies and Gentlemen, Ron Shirley, our mayor.

0:52:040:52:09

APPLAUSE

0:52:090:52:10

Tonight we celebrate all the pick and mix flavours of our beloved rock factory.

0:52:100:52:18

My mum's an amazing dancer and I'm not even joking.

0:52:180:52:21

-They gave her a trophy and everything.

-I don't do civic pride.

0:52:210:52:24

Yeah, you're pale and interesting. Get over yourself.

0:52:240:52:26

As you probably know, Sugartown once had quite a reputation for dance and we are going to regenerate

0:52:320:52:41

that tradition with a little number that tells the 200 year story of this factory.

0:52:410:52:49

In under five minutes.

0:52:490:52:51

-Bloody hell, it's Bertie Bassett!

-Lights, please.

0:52:520:52:56

# We built this city

0:52:560:52:59

# We built this city on rock'n'roll

0:53:010:53:04

# We built this city

0:53:040:53:05

# We built this city on rock'n'roll

0:53:070:53:13

# Say you don't know me

0:53:270:53:29

# Or recognise my face... #

0:53:300:53:32

ELECTRICITY POWERS DOWN AUDIENCE GROANS

0:53:320:53:36

-Just keep dancing!

-To what? There's no beat!

-Where's the lights?

0:53:360:53:40

This is ridiculous.

0:53:400:53:42

Don't do that, you'll look stupid.

0:53:420:53:43

What's going on?

0:53:460:53:47

TAPS FEET, SNAPS FINGERS

0:53:470:53:50

SNAPPING FINGERS

0:53:530:53:55

PACEY MUSIC WITH DRIVING BEAT

0:53:550:53:57

# All I want is to

0:54:050:54:08

# Dance with you

0:54:080:54:09

# Not make love yeah although it would be cool

0:54:110:54:14

# Get yourself ready and looking out of sight

0:54:160:54:20

# Make sure you're at the party Only want to see you

0:54:200:54:23

# Dancing on the floor tonight

0:54:230:54:26

# Tell me what it's all about Come on and jump

0:54:290:54:32

# Baby get your hands up Swing it to the north and south

0:54:320:54:35

# Come on and jump

0:54:350:54:38

# Tell me what it's all about Come on and jump

0:54:390:54:43

# Baby throw your hands up Swing them to the north and south

0:54:430:54:46

# Come on and jump Get your arms out

0:54:460:54:49

# Tell me what it's all about Everybody scream and shout. #

0:54:490:54:54

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:54:550:54:58

All right, you know a little bit about dance.

0:55:050:55:10

Now I know why rock stars go on crazy fuelled binges after burning up the stage with an awesome gig.

0:55:180:55:23

-I'm just wired!

-I thought you really got your freak on.

0:55:230:55:26

-What? I watch MTV.

-Yeah, well, not much else to do round here, is there?

0:55:270:55:32

Ron, disengage yourself from the lad and let him breathe.

0:55:320:55:36

Now, have you had a plate?

0:55:360:55:38

Oh, I'm so sorry. Not the prawns!

0:55:380:55:42

Let me help you with your... Here we go.

0:55:420:55:44

What is it with you?

0:55:440:55:46

Say your brother isn't behind this scheme.

0:55:510:55:54

No! Absolutely not.

0:55:540:55:56

I loved the retro nostalgia angle with the old time sweets.

0:55:560:56:00

I remember when Burrs was numero uno.

0:56:000:56:02

-Cuanto costa?

-Well, we're keen to take the factory forward.

0:56:020:56:07

We want to be, "numero uno" again. The problem is at the minute, it's a cash flow issue.

0:56:070:56:13

Well, perhaps I can sort you out a sticky tape till we talk terms.

0:56:130:56:17

-Burt Burrs Butter Bang Bangs. Loved 'em.

0:56:170:56:20

Oh, wonderful!

0:56:200:56:22

Max!

0:56:350:56:36

Kylie!

0:56:400:56:42

You have got to be joking me!

0:56:420:56:44

What the hell is this town, anyway?

0:56:440:56:46

-Excuse me!

-Who the hell's Kylie?

0:56:460:56:49

Bye, bye, Burrs.

0:56:510:56:53

I'm really, really sorry.

0:56:530:56:56

And after all your hard work with the sweets,

0:56:560:57:00

and the history of the sweets and the old ways of making of the sweets

0:57:000:57:04

and you being the sweets.

0:57:040:57:07

I learnt a lot about sweets.

0:57:070:57:10

I'm sorry I never had a Butter Bang Bang.

0:57:100:57:12

Carmen's right.

0:57:120:57:14

Even Ken said it.

0:57:140:57:16

Well, the history this factory's got and dance has shown us the way.

0:57:160:57:20

We should be looking back on our glorious past, not forwards.

0:57:200:57:24

And we don't need this Ken's money to use what we've already got,

0:57:240:57:28

all our old favourites from back in Burrs' glory days!

0:57:280:57:31

Like a nostalgia range?

0:57:310:57:33

Well, if you like it, you know?

0:57:330:57:37

I mean, if you think it's a good idea.

0:57:370:57:40

I don't know what to say.

0:58:040:58:06

And I mean I REALLY don't know what to say!

0:58:060:58:10

Carmen did some really excellent blue sky thinking.

0:58:100:58:13

She said we're relaunching Burrs, why not Sugartown's Dance Academy, too!

0:58:130:58:18

Bringing dance to the people.

0:58:180:58:20

Oh, you'll want to be staying, won't you, if we're going to be promoting Sugartown as a dance Mecca?

0:58:200:58:24

I've already bought the legwarmers.

0:58:240:58:27

Fab! Yes!

0:58:300:58:31

Yes! All right!

0:58:330:58:36

# If I had a million dollars or ten

0:58:360:58:41

# I'd give it to you world and then

0:58:410:58:46

# Go away and let me spend my life in shoo shoo shoo

0:58:460:58:52

# Shoo shoo shoo shoo-shoo shoo-shoo shoo-shoo Sugartown

0:58:520:58:58

# Shoo shoo shoo-shoo Sugartown. #

0:59:000:59:03

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