Episode 2 Sugartown

-I'm popping the question.

-Yes.

-I'm a dancer.

-Carmen?

-Mum!

-Max?!

-Rock ain't rolling any more, is it, Jase?

-Max wants the factory.

"The actual ownership is to be divided equally between my sons."

-Sons?

-I was adopted. The necklace was all they said she'd left me.

You don't know who she is?

Black, you marry him.

-Red, you marry me.

-We're relaunching Burr's,

why not Sugartown's Dance Academy, too!

MUSIC: "Stayin' Alive" by The Bee Gees

# Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk

# I'm a woman's man, no time to talk

# Music loud and women warm

# I've been kicked around since I was born

# And now it's all right, it's OK And you may look the other way

# We can try to understand The New York Times'... #

# I got some troubles but they won't last

# I'm going to lay right down here in the grass

# And pretty soon all my troubles will pass

# Cos I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo-shoo

# Shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo Sugartown. #

Mild discomfort.

"Mild discomfort", like a disfiguring rash,

or "mild discomfort", like falling downstairs and landing on your head?

Anne, despite you having no vices I'm aware of,

you have 40 to 55-year-old pores. We're well past optional.

Plus, I need a guinea pig.

We're closed...

..to men.

-To you.

-Isn't there some sort of stylists' code?

-Where there's hair to be trimmed...

-Never ratified. Discretionary.

Why don't you try Choppy Toffs on the Parade?

The front you have, waltzing in here after what you did.

You lost us our investor.

Your investor?! Ken was my investor.

Let's not get bogged down in detail.

Yeah. Why don't we just chalk it up and I'll pop on a..?

And sit down next to...

All right, Anne?

Oh, wow, so that's where Saddam was hiding them, was it?

It's going to make me glow, with only mild discomfort.

Glow?! Could warn off shipping.

It is the toppermost chemical peel available.

Actually, you look quite glowy, Max.

-Mmm-hmm.

-Yes.

What is that? Are you..?

Happy? Max is happy?

I'd say happy. Some might say cheerful. Six of one.

Being happy's not against the law in Sugartown, is it?

No, but I think you'll all agree, it's highly suspicious.

Max can be raving ecstatic, it doesn't change things. We just have to hold our nerve.

Michael, you finished working through Dad's old recipes?

Almost. You know, he was a genius.

I would never have put barley in brittle form

and he did things with liquorice no-one has the right to do.

-Great! Right, where are we?

-So far, Sticky Herrings, Nutty Slacks.

Give Burt Burr's Butter Bang Bangs a try next. They were a big seller.

I'm just saying, I think we should have a contingency.

Maybe two, and if we're taking this thing seriously, possibly three.

-But if Max has found a new backer...

-Best get on.

I just worry,

is it madness to be launching a premium range at the height of an economic downturn?

They'll always be folk who care about quality, about a trusted brand.

Besides, we just can't compete with the big boys on scale any more.

Our only hope is the nostalgia market - traditional sweets made the traditional way.

So they've put a man on the moon, and we're back to desiccating our own coconut.

-All right, how long have we got to turn this mother round?

-A week?

Two? After that the cupboard's bare.

-Out of cash.

-And Max can buy you out?

Max WILL buy me out.

But the orders will come. I know it.

We may be, like, the first

people ever to live on a pier.

There may be a reason for that.

Well, go on, then.

-Close your eyes.

-Just open the door.

-OK.

OK, I'll open the door.

Yep, I'd keep them closed, if I were you.

I thought I'd just stop by to see if this crib's been pimped yet.

Ron, I mean,

like, 'wahhhhh'!

It's brilliant. And, hey, zero commute!

I plumped for practical, though I'm happy to look at your chakras whilst I'm here.

Welcome to your new residence!

-It's brilliant!

-So, are we all set for Sugartown's latest fad amenity?

I did a mahoosive shout out.

Posted them all over town.

Carmen Moore - Professor of Getting Down.

Well, I know I'm pumped about it.

Be good to throw out some shapes.

I've lost definition since naked yoga.

What, in Sugartown?!

In my defence, Sam, nowhere did it say it wasn't naked.

For the avoidance of doubt, classes here will be fully clothed.

I think I found the garage!

So I was thinking, you should help out with the dance school.

I need a proper job.

That is almost a proper job.

And it's sort of the least I can do after...

And there's no better ticket to exotic travel than dance.

-Dance brought you here.

-Yes!

And I've been all over.

America, Australia, Norway...

Look, it's not just here. I mean...

Well, it's mainly here. There's nothing for me.

Well, what about your mum?

What if she's still here?

If you go, you'll never find her.

She must have given you that necklace for a reason.

Maybe you're meant to follow a quest!

Or maybe not.

Shows how much she cared.

Thing's a second. Teddy's legs are on back to front.

Margery!

I'm just here with Travis talking about dancing

and also...dancing.

I'm only on a flyby.

I figured you and your mother are itinerants and you might be in need of white goods.

What a caring thing for Margery to do!

Isn't it, Travis?

It isn't cordless.

Why are you still here? Haven't you got an evil lair to go to?

You seem uncomfortable, Em. Do I make you nervous?

Is it because you kissed me?

-You kissed me!

-Is it because you liked it?

Don't push me, Max.

Does it do your nut in having to cut hair like a bloody takeaway menu?

"I'll have a number nine and a side order of dated low-lights, please."

I give my customers what they want.

It's a calling. And low-lights aren't dated.

Yeah, but I see you, Em.

The real you.

You're hungry for success.

You want to be top division, but this town is strictly Sunday league.

One word. Eco-spa.

-Two words.

-One word. Hyphenated.

Seaweed wraps, exfoliating with sand.

I don't know, you're the expert. But that is where the money is -

treatments. Call something Balinese, throw in a scented candle, you've got yourself "an experience".

Who round here would want an experience?

Stay tuned, Em. Stay tuned.

It's not that I don't like dance. More that I fear it.

Like spiders. And it seems to me that, quite often,

the beat's doing something different than I am.

I always think of the beat as more of a guideline, really.

I wonder if it all goes back to my mother.

So, anyway, thanks again for the...

But, well, Carmen's deserted, so I'd best get on...

with the dance school, with the launch tonight.

Buffet, raffle. You'll be there, right? Oh, and bring men.

Like, male men?

At this stage, anyone who'd pass in low lighting.

Could I just bring a sponge cake?

Balls! Balls of your feet!

And your toes pointing forward.

Yeah, that is how I get to walk.

-Away.

-Elbow up.

-Think teapot.

-If we see anyone I know, could we pretend I'm mugging you?

OK, so now we promenade.

-Go on.

-You have to lead. You're the man.

I'm the man who doesn't know how to promenade.

-It means we walk.

-Oh, do you know? I don't care what it means.

Why's this old stuff so complicated?

-It's all rules.

-Because rules bring order from the chaos. And from order we have control.

And no chaos. Do you want chaos?!

I want to not look like a teapot.

One...

Right foot, to the side

and left foot...

Do you want some pie to go with that cowardly custard?

OK, OK. Leave it with me.

Now I'm a Professor of Dance, it's my job to inspire, to encourage.

Well, I'm gonna, er, "promenade".

That's it, that's it.

Web-wise, I've shown the dog the rabbit, now all we can do is wait.

-Hello.

-Anne, you're back again?

-Yeah, I'm out of sugar mice.

-What, already?

I can't get enough of their sugary goodness.

You want to eat them responsibly, A mouse a day...

Yeah, OK.

Hello.

Hi.

I'm just here, casually, on the off chance to pick up some sugar mice.

Oh, can you see Margery? I'm up to my elbows in foam shrimps here.

Yeah.

Anyway, whilst I'm here and, like, it's just occurred to me,

are you going to the launch of the dance school? Only I'm going,

so if you're going to the launch of the dance school and I'm going...

Anne! Shrimps! Look, I really can't do this right now.

I'm looking down the barrel at my Gumptions. Go with Emily.

But the lighting won't be THAT low.

PING

-E-mail!

-E-mail!

E-mail!

"Baveridges are pleased to inform you

"of our interest in your new Heritage range of confectioneries." In!

I am on fire today.

So I see this jar and it all becomes clear. Salsa.

For the launch tonight. Total crowd pleaser. So not old time.

Are you not eating that?

I've only had one lunch today. I could die from the hunger and I'm not even joking.

Mmm, mmm.

So now, I'm looking at the dream theme.

Spicy, sexy, with a dash of old skool flava.

Travis is seriously going to get with the programme.

Oh, and bring a bloke tonight. You don't want to be a Wendy Wallflower.

I'm going to die alone.

SOBS, THEN WAILS LOUDLY

Ssshh, sshh.

TV COMES ON

-Will she be all right? Maybe we should take her home?

-Oh, no. She won't go down now.

Anyway, Loose Women's on. It's the only thing that'll settle her.

I was worried something like this would happen. Jason said she's developed a serious sugar habit.

It was only a matter of time before she crashed and burned.

It was only a ham sandwich.

Did you check her pockets? Her cheeks? She's like a hamster.

Stores it.

I reckon it might be man trouble.

-It's Anne. She doesn't have men.

-Maybe that's the trouble?

Anne? Men?

Well, I know she likes Michael, but Michael's...

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Maybe we could hook her up with someone tonight.

Salsa's totally like speed-dating.

Who's going to ask HER to dance?

I mean, I love Anne. She has a beautiful spirit,

but the presentation leaves a lot to be desired.

Anne! I'm sorry. I thought I was saying all that behind your back.

It's all right.

I'm ready.

I look like I should be sitting on a pencil.

I'm a professional, Anne. Do you want my help or not?

Yeah! I know I'm not what you might call honey to the bees.

Men don't swarm around my pot.

I need your help to find the light under my big bushel.

Actually, Em, it's starting to burn.

Em?

< Em?!

Get out of bloody road!

Margery?

Mmm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a Chocolate Gumption.

Thank you so much for all your hard work.

Next bit's down to me. Dragons' Den. Keep your fingers crossed, eh?

And seriously, well done, everyone.

-You'll never guess what!

-I was wondering where you were.

I haven't made dinner, best not to dance on a full stomach. But I have whipped up power juices.

Is that tonight? I'm sorry, no can do.

What? We have to go.

-I can't. I've got a really big presentation to prepare.

-Jason.

Do you notice anything?

Have you dyed your hair?

-Every time.

-Well, I don't know. It's a good first option and then I try "lost weight".

It's Chanel.

Vintage. 2009. I've been saving it for a special occasion, such as this, with my fiance.

-Is this how it's going to be now?

-It's one night.

-Every night this week!

-The factory...

-Is not more important than me.

-Us.

-I'm not stopping YOU going.

-And you're OK with that, are you?

Have you got any idea how bootylicious I look?

Every man in that room will be desiring me.

Yeah, you look nice.

-Fine.

-Good.

-No, not good!

-Fine, then.

-Ooh! Fine.

-Thanks for your support(!)

PHONE RINGS

Yes, I'm coming, Anne.

Anne!

I know the rule was clothes, but...

Hi, Anne.

Anne, don't you look...

-Striking.

-Yes. Great you could come.

-One or two?

-One, please.

Come on, I'll buy you a drink.

I might chance a go on a Mock-ito.

-From me and Jase.

-Ooh.

-Thank you. You shouldn't have.

No...you REALLY shouldn't have.

Six... Seven, with your basics.

And one, two, three, two, two, three, turn, right..

Two, two, three. Lovely, Ron!

You're not working it. Do the pose.

No-one saw it. Do it again.

I can't have him see me like this, I'm hideous.

He won't notice any difference.

What have YOU come as?!

I only left you for two minutes!

Three hours, Emily! And now my bushel's just bigger than ever!

Swivel! Swivel!

Bloody hell, Carmen!

You know, I like curly hair. Go with the 'fro, I say.

Well, that's all very well for you.

You look mantastic.

Listen, I'm sorry I was a bit off earlier.

I made you this.

SHE GASPS

Is that limited edition?

Single edition. Just for you.

-Anne, you do know I'm gay, don't you?

-Oh, yes.

OK.

And you do know what being gay means?

I'm not interested in 'it' or anything.

I just want a boyfriend.

OK... Well, I'm a boy, I suppose.

And I am a friend.

Ladies.

-Didn't expect you here.

-Now we're rivals for the limited recreation market. Reckon I'll sleep easy.

I'll take your money. But only because we need men, not sponge cakes.

See, I miss our flirting.

Why don't you come back? Run the casino for me.

I need a trusted hand at the tiller.

Come on! This place, plus the liability factor of Calamity Jane, equals nervous breakdown.

You know that!

Evening, Margery.

Looking good. Mind if I cut in?

No-one salsas with a lothario, Max.

Foxtrot, maybe.

If you don't mind, we'll play through.

So, I see a beat as more of a guideline, really.

MUSIC STOPS

SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE

Why isn't Travis here?

I don't know, but if he found a good excuse,

he might have shared it with the rest of us.

If you knew something and it was like an information hand grenade.

You would give it to the rightful grenade owner? Even if it might go off?

No idea what you're talking about,

but time and bitter experience has shown us, it's best when you don't get involved.

Right, OK.

-Ladies and gentlemen, let's trip...

-Ah! Our very own lord of the dance!

APPLAUSE

Travis! You're here.

Where have you been? Anyway, I hope you're ready to live la vida loca, because we're in salsa town.

-Why's everybody looking?

-Because I didn't pay five pounds to trip the light fantastic with Ron.

You're the star attraction.

Ah!

Why did you do it?

-Not even ask me?

-Because you might have said no.

But you're here now!

Oh, Travis,

you can't go, because...

your mum's here!

Yes. Right here.

Long-lost mum...

..not lost.

As if!

Travis!

Travis... Hold on.

You're walking too fast, I can't keep up.

What, like I shouldn't have told you?!

It was Margery? No, Carmen, you should NEVER have told me!

One.

-Can we step on it?

-I'm flooring it as it is, son.

-I just want to be on my own.

-I understand.

You can totally be on your own together.

Come on! I'm almost breaking a sweat here.

Are you getting on, love, or what?

-Ooh, how much?

-20p or 30p return.

-Do you accept Switch?

-No.

I didn't know for sure.

My suspicions were first aroused at the gala night, but I didn't..

-You knew at the gala night?

-Not knew. I'm not Poirot.

I don't understand. Aren't you happy?

That's not... That's not fair. Heels! Huh!

She's alive, she's alive!

-She only fainted. Give her some air.

-Margery, are you all right?

Yes, I'm all right.

Just let me breathe.

Thought...Travis...

-No, that was true.

-He is your son.

Margery? Margery?!

Isn't Margery too old to have a baby?

I think she was younger at the time.

This could take a while. I'll put the kettles on, shall I?

That's a whole different page, innit?

No Captain Sensible tonight, then?

Jason is doing something very important.

He's got a meeting, a presentation. What are you doing here, anyway?

-I come in peace. As it happens, I'm here to see you.

-Because?

I've got something to show you.

Said the spider to the fly.

Well, save you stalking around town if I just showed you.

Well-appointed, attention to detail, mother of a sound system -

one blast of that puppy and the tide'll go out.

Hey, you'll like this -

a state of the art kitchen.

What's this all about, Max?

For the salon.

Seaweed, sand, etc.

No, thank you. I've seen where being a business partner with you ends up.

Just business.

Look, Em, Em.

I believe in you, right?

Interest-free loan, no hurry. Pay me back when you're in the black.

You can have any paperwork you want to back me up on that, all right?

Where would you get that sort of money, anyway?

Sold.

Well, good as.

-You're leaving?

-Upsizing.

Can't you just leave?

She was an estate agent.

When you were following me round town this afternoon, like a love-sick puppy.

This is prime real estate, Em. This is just the prototype.

I'm thinking of doing up the whole block. There's a lot of folk willing to pay me a lot to live here.

What about the people who already live here?

This town,

it just needs a bit of...

new blood, to get its motor started.

And just think, eh, pukka new customers for you,

all gagging for an Emily experience.

I suppose that means you've given up on your hostile takeover

of the factory, if you invested in me instead.

Hmm! Yeah.

A toast, I think.

Would you like to come in?

I haven't any beer.

I may have some squash.

Why didn't you want me?

I did want you.

See, cos I've been here... the whole time.

If I'd known it was you...

They said they'd take you somewhere else. Didn't stop me looking, mind.

There wasn't a single day that I didn't regret giving you up,

that I wasn't wondering wherever you were, if you were happy and if you were loved.

But I had nothing to give you.

Not on my own.

Who was my dad, then?

You see, I thought you'd have a better chance away from him.

He didn't want to keep you at all.

The only thing that Burt ever loved was that factory.

Travis!

Chanel?

Vintage?

Hmm... 2009?

You were wearing white the first time we...

And you had your hair up like that

and Unchained Melody was playing, I think.

Must have been one of your other victims.

I was in red, my hair was in a shaggy bob and it was Take That - Babe.

Well, can't remember all the ins and outs.

Goodnight, Max.

MUSIC: "Babe" by Take That

# Babe, I'm here again

# I'm here again

# I tell you I'm here again

# Babe

# Where have you been?

# Where have you been?

# Babe, I'm back again

-# I'm back again

-I tell you I'm back again

-# Babe

-Where have you been? #

-I love you.

-What?!

-What?

-Don't be ridiculous.

No, that's what I say to everyone. That's what you lot want to hear!

You know, more than a handful's a waste...

I didn't mean to shag your sisters...

Em?!

Em!

Babe!

Em! Babe!

ALARM RINGS

No way!

Jason?

It should mean a year on year increase of 6... no, sorry... 7%.

Will our customers really want to pay extra for your new range?

I mean, cost per unit, you'll outstrip your rivals.

-But they're bloody good sweets.

-And it's kids who buy sweets.

No disrespect, but they won't remember Burrs in its heyday.

Their parents will.

We were a big brand once and I reckon we could be again.

OK, thank you for your time.

Thank you.

I'll leave them there. Thank you.

If you could guarantee production for a regional rollout,

say, a trial across...ten stores?

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure we could... Really?

I got five fillings thanks to your dad.

And I don't regret one of them.

Cheers.

Am I going to have to get a restraining order, or what?

Jason, Jason. Funny thing.

I have spent all week working my ass off in the town that taste forgot.

-But, hey, anything to get the cash to buy you out.

-Oh, you're too late.

Big order, so it happens.

Not for sale.

Oh, tricky.

Rock, paper, scissors?

That's still two against one, so, hey, what are you going to do?

You know Travis, don't you? Our kid brother?

Hello...boyfriend!

Sorry, Anne, all out of mice. Looks like on a long-term basis.

That's OK.

I'm full-on feeling.

I was going to wear my hat, but then I thought, go with the 'fro.

Good for you. No, actually, wear the hat.

Game over. Max has called time.

I'm a confectioner. Took me five years to train.

Not exactly transferable skills, are they?

I got a mortgage, credit cards.

Not quite the catch you thought, eh?

I will not forsake you.

And every cloud...

Christ, Max, is there no level you won't sink to? It's lies,

-like everything else that comes out of your gob.

-It is a kick in the testate,

but...it's all here... "..to be shared equally between my sons".

One son, two son, ah,

three sons. Or you can check it on a calculator, if you want?

See, Jase, you've been piddling away our inheritance for years.

It's our turn now. So the bottom line is, you fight me on this, it'll force a sale of the factory.

Chances are it'll be demolished within a month.

Or, you could go quietly and the shell of the factory remains intact.

Don't worry, I'll make sure you get your share.

-Saying it's true.

-It is.

-Why would you throw your lot in with him? I thought we were mates.

Because, like me, he got sod tout from Daddy Dearest.

-I can give him opportunities.

-At your side, or your feet?

-Travis is my new casino manager. Bright future ahead.

-And you can prove all this?

-Oh, yeah.

-You better.

Just a trip down the clinic, little swab of the mouth. Nothing to it. Should have the results by tomorrow.

I'll fight you every step of the way.

Temper, temper.

-You've not touched your quenelle salad?

-I'm depressed, Ron, not a budgerigar.

I went into a whole concentric spiral when Emily's mother died.

And it's all very well to say what happens in Glastonbury stays in Glastonbury,

but I still can't pass a Portaloo without getting flashbacks.

But it wasn't about me.

I was all this little girl had left.

Yeah, I was scared, but being a parent...nothing beats it.

-Is this all leading to a profound wisdom, Confucius?

-That was my general heading, yes.

-And is it along the lines of my pulling myself together and giving the boy a bit of time?

-Ballpark.

I do have a little addendum, if we're on any other business?

Just that I always thought you'd make a cracking mum, Margery.

And I think, given a bit of time,

young Travis will see it that way, too.

Noted... With thanks.

KNOCK ON DOOR

-Hi, it was open.

-I'm so very sorry, Jason.

He was charming.

And persistent.

-And Travis?

-Was born nine months later. It can't have been a coincidence.

Your father was clever,

driven and, when all is said and done,

he was a player.

You're less clever, less driven,

but a far better man.

-I wouldn't deny Travis what's his.

-Like I said, a better man.

I'm sorry for letting you all down.

For what it's worth, Michael, them shrimps were textbook.

You've all been brilliant. I'll see you right.

Might take...a few weeks, but I'll...

I'm sorry you didn't feel you could come to me. Had you waited, given us chance to get on our feet...

Time is money, Jay. 'Sides, would only be delaying the inevitable.

You could have scraped by for a few weeks, but you couldn't afford new premises.

Why give everyone false hope?

Thanks...bro'.

Be clear. Not for you. I just don't want to see Margery dragged through the courts.

Look around you, Max. Breathe it in. Hope it makes you happy.

Oh, don't worry, Jay. You'll be a kept man. I mean, now I'm investing in Em's new salon empire,

she'll be raking it in. Lucky boy.

I presume you've come to build bridges across the fractured divide that was our friendship, Anne?

Well, I accept your apology.

On balance, I can see there were faults on both sides. Perhaps even mine.

In two years' time, your hair will be back to normal.

I wasn't going to... TWO YEARS?!

Unless we go for a pixie crop.

Oh, yeah that sounds nice!

Oh, no, hold on, I was coming to tell you about...

Jason?

Jase?

Jase?

-Is that a drink?

-It's not A drink, no.

I stopped counting when I ran out of fingers. And toes.

I can't remember how many toes I'm meant to have,

but I can still remember that you went behind my back with Max.

So, stupid drink hasn't worked at all, has it? How rubbish is that?

It was just once.

-Once?

-Really, it was all down to the dress and how hot it looked on me.

If he hadn't said all the things that you've not been saying lately, then...

-You slept with him?

-No!

-So, help me out here.

-No, wait, wait. You know I can't do quick-fire.

Cos I knew that you two are up to your neck in the salon thing.

And I felt that betrayed. Why would you. Why would you do that?

Why would you do that with the man that's ruined me,

who's taken everything?

I thought nothing could be worse than that.

Shows you how wrong...

-What I didn't know was you'd been cheating on me with him.

-Oh, no, no, not cheating.

-You wanted to, though, didn't you?

-Oh, Jase, it's you I love.

Look, this doesn't have to change things. Not if we don't let it.

-Change things? It's bloody ruined 'em.

-Jase.

-Leave me alone.

Oh, no, no, no...

But this is a massive order.

Why didn't Jason tell us?

He's only just got the news and I expect, knowing Jason,

he wouldn't have wanted to pour salt on the wound.

This is a major supermarket,

-it could make all the difference. It's not too late.

-We're closed.

-Well, YOU'RE not closed.

You ARE Burr's. Now, what do we need to get this order done?

'You got big dreams?'

You want fame?

Well, fame costs. And right here's where you start paying...in sweat!

Well, that was very well done!

And, oh, look, your...

really quite alarmed-looking mums and dads are here now, so...

Very well done.

What?! That's showbiz.

Most of them are probably only here because we're cheaper than babysitters.

Might not be ready for the Bolshoi just yet.

-Have you...

-Yes, I've taken my pills!

-The little blue one?

-The large blue one, the huge blue one and the medium-sized white one!

-Can't you see how at ease I am?

-Yes. You're radiating calm.

-I screwed up, didn't I?

-That's the trouble with places like this. Give me the city any day.

-Anonymous, discreet, rude...

-What's wrong with it here?

We have nine kettles!

Apologies, but we have a code red.

So I said, "Why don't we pop on our wet suits and have a scuba in our think tanks?"

You've heard they've closed the rock factory?

Max has taken ownership, by playing his trump card of Travis, to stake his claim.

Travis has gone over to Max's camp and taken your old job.

So we are two against one, fraternally speaking.

-No?

-Not that anyone's blaming you for uncovering the dark secrets of the past,

when perhaps they should have lain buried.

We just need a big space.

Yeah, well, I don't care what you have to do, just...

I don't know, lay on some coaches, go door-to-door if you have to.

Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Right. OK, great.

Thank you.

-Equals, yeah?

-Hmm?

Oh, yeah, sure. All the way, bro'. Have you cleared out that junk yet?

Skip's full.

Good, right. I would have loved to have helped you, but I've been rushed off my feet all morning.

-Everyone wants a piece of me.

-So, Sam's old job. What's the role?

Oh...I don't know. Wear a suit, walk round with a clipboard?

-You said you'd train me up.

-And I will, young Padawan, I will.

What do you want this place so bad for, anyway?

Actually, maybe you should go to the casino. The Kittens will show you round.

Now, stick with me, right? One day, just think, you might grow up to be just like me.

I know, it's exciting, isn't it?

Mmm, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Always milk first.

-What?

-Nothing.

-Well, run along, then.

Dip Dab, this is Tutti Frutti, do you copy? Over.

'Tutti Frutti, this is Margery.

'And I'M Tutti Frutti. You're Gobstopper.

'And I thought I was a Dip Dab.

-'Are there any visuals?'

-That is affirmative.

The eagle has left the car park.

And the other eagle...

..is also not in the car park.

Mayor walking through own town.

Nothing to see here. Man wearing balaclava in broad daylight -

-"And tonight on Crimewatch..."

-Right, team, go, go, go!

Jelly Bean, come in, Jelly Bean.

MUSIC: "Nine To Five" by Dolly Parton

# Tumble outta bed And a-stumble to the kitchen

# Pour myself a cup of ambition

# And yawn and stretch and try to come to life

# Jump in the shower And the blood starts pumpin'

# Out on the streets The traffic starts jumpin'

# With folks like me on the job from nine to five

# Workin' nine to five

# What a way to make a livin'

# Barely gettin' by It's all takin' and no givin'

# They just use your mind

# And they never give you credit

# It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

# Nine to five for service and devotion

# You would think that I would deserve a fair promotion

# Want to move ahead

# But the boss won't seem to let me

# I swear sometimes that man is... #

MUSIC: "Do You Want The Truth Or Something Beautiful?" by Paloma Faith

# Do you want the truth or something beautiful?

# I am happy to deceive you

# He stood as tall as redwood trees

# And drank tea from a seamstress's thimble

# I didn't want to speak the honest truth

# So I spit out lies that aim to soothe

# Do you want the truth or something beautiful?

# Just close your eyes and make believe

# Do you want the truth or something beautiful?

# I am happy to deceive you

# Sacred lies and

# Telling tales

# I can be who you want me to be

# Sacred lies and

# Telling tales

# I can be who you want me to be

# But do you want me? Mm-mm. #

The third box, Ron.

In or out, Carmen.

I don't blame you for any of this, you know.

You were only telling the truth. And it was a truth I made.

Your timing was lousy and you have the sensitivity of a rhino,

-but we can work on that.

-I'm sorry.

You found him.

Trot on, I need some unskilled help with my box flaps.

Here you are.

Oh, we did it.

I never want to do it again and I missed Newsnight,

but we did it.

-We didn't do the Sugar Mice!

-But the van'll be here in a half an hour!

Actually...

So how the hell did you pile all that weight on?

Right, croissants for everyone.

I'm taking you all for breakfast to celebrate.

Bye-bye, croissant.

What the hell has he done with our factory?!

This is a mayoral moment.

Step aside, council official things...to do...here.

In we go.

See, being Mayor isn't all town twinning and planting saplings.

We're at the business end of power.

My hero(!)

Ah, ah, ah. One each, Margery.

We want to know what's going on.

-And we want to know immediately, if not sooner.

-And we won't be fobbed, so no flannel.

Well, ladies and gentlemen,

you are now standing in Yorkshire's newest premier hotel complex.

-Just had to ask.

-Oh, I know what he's doing. He's being reasonable.

-Don't look him directly in the eye, Anne.

-There's no secret.

Restaurants, cabarets, there's the marina. VIP club.

This is stage three, of course. The casino was stage one.

What the bloody hell have you done with my house?

We're still very much at the blue-sky stage.

This place - here - is going to be the flagship.

The jewel in the Sugartown crown.

And you'll have a trouser press in every room?

How can my guesthouse compete with that?

This isn't Sugartown. Not OUR Sugartown.

Oh, I can't afford this Sugartown.

Even if you hadn't given Travis my job, I wouldn't come back.

Gone native, have we?

-Sad times, Sam.

-Not sure about where you've put the lake.

-What lake?

And you can keep your hands off of my experiences, as well.

VACUUM CLEANER

Mum said to...

Mum said to...

Could you turn that thing off?

VACUUM STOPS

-Mum said to let you calm down.

-You should've listened.

Thought you were his partner. You his maid?

I offered, all right?

-He's training me up.

-He's mugging you off.

-What you doing here?

-To tell you to stop working for Max.

-Er...

-No. Next.

-This is a nice place...

with nice people.

You throwing your lot in with Max is just hurting them. I think it'll end up hurting you, too.

You turned this whole town upside down. You sprung it on me, on Margery, just to get your own way.

It was you that lost me my last job and you want me to jack this in, too?!

Obviously, it's going to sound bad if you put it like that.

There's me, kept on about leaving. But I don't reckon it's me that should go.

-What?

-I've got a chance now.

-PHONE RINGS

A proper chance. And you? You have caused nothing but trouble.

This town would be better off without you.

-I

-would be better off without you.

-Is that what you really want?

-Yes, it is.

Phone for you, Travis.

-Just go.

-OK.

-Go.

-I'm going.

What? Yeah, this is Travis Jameson.

What? How many percent?

Yeah. Oh, that's great, that's great. Thanks. Cheers.

-All right?

-Yeah.

The supermarket. Depot's dead chuffed.

Want to do a proper launch - promotions, displays.

-Thank you.

-That's great.

-Jason...

-Doesn't change things.

-Not with us.

-I know.

It looks like it was all in vain.

Max is already renovating the factory. In fact, he's planning to renovate the whole town.

-It was all for nothing.

-What's he playing at?

Is there nothing he can't keep his hands off?

I'll go and stay with my dad for a while.

You know how lonely he gets with only his spirit guides for company.

What you did...

-Nobody's ever done anything like that for me before.

-Maybe if you let them...

Emily? It wasn't all for nothing.

-Carmen!

-She's here!

It's OK. I know what usually happens here.

The train pulls away and we're like, "Oh, no!".

But then we see she's still standing on the other side, so we're like "Yay!".

Like I say...usually.

Place over the road does a nice cup of tea and a slice.

-She won't have gone far.

-The train only goes as far as Leeds.

Carmen could get in trouble walking to the kitchen and back.

I don't know what she might do. She might do anything.

You don't know her. She's upset, not well. I'm not there to look after her.

Why don't you come back, stay at mine tonight? Or with Anne.

-Tomorrow, we'll start tracking her down.

-No, no.

-I want to be there just in case she comes back.

-Then we'll come to you.

Help you make it through the night.

You're one of us now, Sam.

Sugartowner.

Excuse me.

If I'd been there, you'd probably be turning to me for comfort now.

Maybe I'd give you a hug or something.

We could always try it on for size?

No.

Stupid.

-Travis, I know you and Carmen were close...

-Stop!

The clinic called earlier.

According to them, Max and I aren't brothers.

No way we're related.

-What?!

-So who's my dad?

Burt.

Just Burt.

There was never anyone else.

-Which means Max can't be...

-Burt's.

Oh, Travis,

this is sizeable.

It means Max has no claim to the factory, after all.

Travis...

I'm truly sorry for all this.

Look, er...

..you don't need to keep it, but...

# If I had a million dollars or ten

# I'd give it to you, world, and then

# Go away and let me spend my life in shoo shoo shoo

# Shoo shoo shoo, shoo-shoo, shoo-shoo shoo-shoo, Sugartown

# Shoo shoo shoo-shoo Sugartown. #