Episode 8 Would I Lie to You?


Episode 8

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Transcript


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Good evening and welcome to Would I Lie To You?, the show that separates

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the truth from the twaddle.

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On David Mitchell's team tonight,

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an EastEnders actor whose character has gone insane, been blackmailed,

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declared bankrupt, made homeless, held hostage, been jilted and shot.

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He might want to think about moving!

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It's Adam Woodyatt!

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And a BAFTA award winner who started out in EastEnders

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but left to pursue a career in acting.

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It's Jason Watkins!

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And on Lee Mack's team tonight,

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a space scientist and astronomer who once presented a documentary

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called Do We Really Need The Moon?

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Of course we do. Where else would we get all our cheese from?

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It's Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock!

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And a comedian who when he was five wanted to be a clown.

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Well, I can tell you those are pretty big shoes to fill.

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It's Phil Wang!

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So, we begin with Round 1 - Home Truths,

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where our panellists each read out a statement

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from the card in front of them.

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To make things harder, they've never seen the card before,

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they've no idea what they'll be faced with.

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It's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction.

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Jason is first up tonight.

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Once a week, I go for a walk on my hands.

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Lee's team.

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Right. Why?

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Because I've always been able to do it.

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-How far can you go?

-I don't know, well, I once went about...

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-..60 yards.

-So once a week you do, what's an average?

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Oh, I don't do that every week.

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I do a little walk around the room every week.

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Please don't take this the wrong way but you don't look like an athlete.

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That's kind of you. That's very, very kind of you.

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What does an athlete look like? I mean...

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Not like you.

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Well, in fact none of you, let's be honest.

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So you have this ability.

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Is this something that you do publicly or privately?

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I do it... I did it at my wedding.

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What, you walked down the aisle?

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Afterwards at the reception, I walked to the side of the stage

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and my son put a rose in my toe and I walked back and gave it to her.

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I'm glad it was your toe.

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Well, what are you thinking about this?

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Listen, I've not read this card out

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but I could walk on my hands if I had to under pressure.

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No, you couldn't.

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CHEERING

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Is there a paramedic?

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-Here we go.

-You won't be able to do this.

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If you have not done this before...

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I genuinely have never tried to walk on my hands.

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There's no way you can do this first go.

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-No.

-Wait, wait, wait.

-It's not good enough.

-I haven't... Shut up!

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-No! No.

-Fair dos, it's not as easy as it looks.

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APPLAUSE

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So, what are you going to say then, in light of your pathetic attempt?

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Lee has now given me the capacity to believe

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-so I'm going to say, yes, true.

-Sorry, Lee doing THAT...

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-Yes.

-You thought Lee's on the verge of getting the hang of it?

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I thought I have to change something...

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It was closer than you thought, wasn't it?

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There was a moment when everyone thought,

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-he might be able to do this.

-No, there was no moment.

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-There was no moment.

-There was a moment when I thought

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you were going to kick that gentleman in the face!

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-What do we think, Maggie?

-I think it's true.

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-I'll go true as well but he'd better do a demonstration.

-All right then.

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-Jason.

-Yes?

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You walk on your hands once a week. Truth or lie?

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Well, it's actually...

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true.

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-APPLAUSE

-There you go.

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And now of course, we have the delightful prospect. Would you?

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CHEERING

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-Where are you going to do it?

-There.

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I see you copied my technique there.

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Maggie, you're next.

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-Possession.

-Ah. There's a box under the desk.

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Would you first of all read out the card that's inside the box

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and then when you've done that, place the object on the desk?

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This is a piece of rock taken from the surface of the moon

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and given to me by Buzz Aldrin.

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I'm currently using it to wedge my kitchen door open.

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All right. David's team.

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I mean obviously this is an odd use of the word "currently."

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I mean...

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Can I just ask how heavy is that piece of rock?

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Would you like to feel it?

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If Buzz Aldrin's got it from the moon, love to, yeah.

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Does that strike you as moon rock?

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-Has it got a little shine to it?

-It does, maybe it's...

-Yes.

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-LEE:

-Can I just say, you three are looking at that

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like you know what proper moon rock would look like.

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When in fact I can't help thinking you don't know anyway, do you?

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-I've seen moon rock.

-Have you?

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Admittedly from a very, very great distance.

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It looks just the same.

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Thank you very much.

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Has it got sort of some technical scientific name

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for the type of rock it is other than moon rock?

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Well, actually, because the moon is covered in all sorts of chemicals,

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which actually come from the birth of the solar system,

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so as things sort of coalesced and formed,

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this is actually sort of a throwback to the birth of the solar system.

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And how did Buzz Aldrin come to give it to you?

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Well, in my capacity at Sky At Night,

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I meet all sorts of characters.

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LAUGHTER

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I'm aware that Buzz Aldrin went to the moon.

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-Yes.

-I'm quite knowledgeable.

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How much of that stuff did he bring back with him?

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He's got a chunk like that still to give out, you know, decades later.

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Does he turn up to every engagement with a rucksack?

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"Here you go, here you go..."

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I mean, I think I'd be giving out little pebbles at most.

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I think they famously don't have pebbles on the moon.

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No, but you can break it up, can't you?

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-Not into pebbles.

-I mean, you must be able to break it up but otherwise

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the only bit of moon rock you could bring back would be the whole moon!

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I'm not sure you could fashion it into the shape of a pebble.

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When was this?

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Oh, so probably about six or seven years ago.

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You met him to interview him about, you know...

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Going to the moon, mainly.

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And he said, and at the end of the interview,

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said, "It's been nice meeting you, here's a bit of the moon," or...?

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Well, actually, I've always been fascinated by the moon

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and so we had this conversation and we were talking about the moon

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and the effects it has on people and he said well, you know,

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here's a bit of the moon for you to keep for your very own.

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-And so he gave me some.

-You know before he gave it to you,

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he didn't pop outside, did he, for a minute?

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Root around the garden!

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You didn't see him foraging around the bins by any chance did you?

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OK, so, what do you think, Adam?

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Is it adding up for you?

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No, it's going to be in museums.

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I once went to the Vatican City and the lump of moon rock that NASA gave

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to the Vatican State is on display there and it's about that big

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and I doubt that Buzz Aldrin would have given you a moon rock,

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you know, about 100 times the size of the rock

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that the United States of America gave to a sovereign state.

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You know a lot about the moon and a lot about moon rock

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but I don't think that that is a piece of moon rock, that's my hunch.

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So Jason says lie, Adam says lie...

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-I also think it's a lie. Yeah.

-Right, Maggie.

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Truth or lie?

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It is actually...

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a lie.

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APPLAUSE

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Yes, it's a lie.

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Maggie doesn't use a piece of moon rock to wedge her kitchen door open.

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Adam, you're next.

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I now practice mindfulness and for ten minutes every day

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I empty my mind of all other thoughts

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and I do nothing but stare at a carrot.

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Lee's team.

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LAUGHTER

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Everything up until the last word...

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Why would you look at a carrot?

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I would show you the picture but this goes out before the watershed.

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It's a particular shape of carrot and it just distracts me.

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What does it...? Well, you can describe the shape, can't you?

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-Yes.

-Is it part of the anatomy?

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-Yes, that would be correct.

-The male anatomy?

-Yes, it would.

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And you find that relaxing to look at?

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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I'm comfortable with that, that's fine.

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It just takes my mind off of things and I relax.

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Can I say, a carrot doesn't last forever.

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Once the carrot rots, do you use a different carrot?

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No, it's pickled.

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-It's in a jar?

-Yeah.

-Where did you get it from?

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Did Buzz Aldrin give it to you?

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A couple of years ago, my wife started...

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She got a greenhouse and she started growing veg

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and it was around the same time I started doing this mindfulness

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and I found it was sufficient to distract me from anything else

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I was thinking about because I just look at it,

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start laughing and forget.

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So you thought this was so amusing to look at,

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-you were willing to commit it to pickle?

-Yeah.

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So this joke would last forever?

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HE GIGGLES

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I don't think it's a joke.

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But you found it amusing?

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Yeah, it's amusing but it's...

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-But through the amusing-ness comes the inner peace.

-Yeah.

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So you're looking at...

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That's why so many people fall asleep watching your DVDs.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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What do you think, Phil? Is this adding up for you?

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I practice mindfulness myself

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and so I know you actually use parsnips not carrots.

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-It smells a bit off to me.

-Maggie?

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Also I think you need to get into sort of a mind state

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and I think laughing at a pickled carrot just isn't going to do it.

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So, what are we going to say? Truth or lie?

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It's got to be a lie, hasn't it?

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It's got to be a lie. Surely it's a lie. Adam, truth or lie?

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It is in fact...

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a lie.

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APPLAUSE

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Our next round is called This Is My...

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where we bring on a mystery guest

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who has a close connection to one of our panellists.

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This week, each of David's team will claim it's them that has

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the genuine connection to the guest and it's up to Lee's team to spot

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who's telling the truth.

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So, please welcome this week's special guest, Matt.

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APPLAUSE

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So, Adam, what is Matt to you?

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This is Matt. He was my window cleaner

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but I had to let him go when I found out he was afraid of ladders.

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Jason, how do you know Matt?

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This is my estate agent Matt and we once were meant

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to look at a property but instead we watched a dog give birth.

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Finally David, what is your relationship with Matt?

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This is my car dealer Matt and I once made him change

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the colour of our car twice because I was offended by its hue.

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So there we have it.

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Lee's team, where to begin?

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-Jason.

-Yes?

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You were looking round a house at the time, were you, to possibly buy?

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I was about to, yeah.

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We were going to look at a property and as we approached that,

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someone came out of a neighbouring property and said,

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you know, "My dog's in distress, can you come and help?"

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-So we did.

-What assistance did you think you could give?

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Well, we did a bit of looking on the phones

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-and working out what we should do.

-You were googling it?

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-Yeah.

-That is always a worrying sign for a midwife.

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When she called you in, then,

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she didn't know that the dog was about to give birth?

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No, she didn't know that the dog was pregnant.

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Wow. What did she think was wrong with it?

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I don't know, that it was sort of,

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that the stomach was sort of distended or something.

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Yes. Yeah...

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Was she the brightest of people?

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LAUGHTER

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Did you then go on and buy that property?

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No, because it had a rifle range next to it so I didn't bother.

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There was a rifle range next to this house and he hadn't mentioned that?

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If this is true, he's a typical shifty estate agent.

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And you see, he didn't even smile or bat an eyelid then,

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which means he's used to hearing it, he's an estate agent.

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What was the dog's name, do you remember?

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-Penny.

-Penny?

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Ah, the penny dropped.

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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But what about Adam?

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Adam, he was your window cleaner but you had to get rid of him

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-because he admitted to being...?

-Scared of ladders.

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So, how long had he been your window cleaner for?

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-About two years.

-And why hadn't it caused problems up to that point?

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He was working with a partner, there was another window cleaner.

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Oh, he used to do the ground-floor

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and the other fella used to do the top floor?

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-Yeah.

-Oh, come on, really?

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We just, we genuinely didn't realise until all of a sudden his partner,

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who was called Matt.

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Oh, he was called Matt as well?

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He was called Matt as well so Matt and Matt Matt.

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The other one was called Matt Matt and he was called Matt?

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No, no, the other one was called Matt...

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-Matt and Matt Matt?

-No, they were both called Matt,

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so that we could distinguish between Matt and Matt,

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we called one Matt and the other one Matt Matt.

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But that...

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But for the first half of the second name, they're both looking.

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Matt, Matt, oh.

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Matt, Matt, oh, it's not me.

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Wouldn't you be better off calling him Matt

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and not-Matt because then you've got a different word at the beginning.

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Matt and not-Matt would have been a much better system.

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-PHIL:

-Or maybe Matthew?

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-Yes.

-Still a problem with the M-A, though. Maaa-atthew.

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It is such a huge waste of time though,

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that millisecond of confusion?

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I mean, do you think everyone's name

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should start with a different letter?

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-I'd much prefer that.

-Billions of letters so that you don't have that

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millisecond of, "Ooh, my name begins with D! Oh, no, it's not David,

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"it's Daniel, I've wasted a part of my life."

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I would prefer that.

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So, you'd never noticed that he was always on the ground floor?

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No, because I was at work.

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Why, what do you do?

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LAUGHTER

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How did you discover that Matt was afraid of ladders?

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The specific moment.

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Because the upstairs wasn't getting...

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-You examined him internally?

-Oh, hang on.

0:15:430:15:45

That's a very strange way of doing it.

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I sense fear in you!

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I don't think you'll be cleaning my windows for much longer.

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No wonder he's frightened to go up a ladder!

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I bet the coming down bit was more scary.

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"I'm here! I'm waiting!"

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I have to say, it's a miracle you could find anyone

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to come near your windows.

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Did you say, "Look, we're going to have to get rid of you,"

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or did he then say, "Look, I can't do this any more"?

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Obviously, you can't have a window cleaner

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who can't go up a ladder to clean your windows.

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You say like that we're the idiots, you had one, not us.

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LAUGHTER

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No, he knocked it on the head. He's no longer a window cleaner.

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Right, so, you had to sack him, basically?

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I kind of ducked out of the conversation and left it to my wife.

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-Right.

-He came back round to do the windows and she confronted him about

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the lack of attention upstairs.

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-LAUGHTER

-And did he 'fess up, did he go...?

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All right, so, what about David?

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Ah yes, you didn't like, you didn't like your...

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-Read it again.

-This is my car dealer Matt.

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I made him change the colour of our car twice

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-because I was offended by its hue.

-So, three times in total.

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Yes, it's been three colours.

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Yeah, what was the first colour? What did you buy it as?

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-What colour?

-Grey.

-What was the model?

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It's a BMW and it's...

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Er...

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I can't quite remember the...

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-I think it's an...

-It never ceases to amaze me how cruel it was

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that you were overlooked for the Top Gear job.

0:17:300:17:33

No, well I, you know, they kept... They wanted me to learn to drive.

0:17:340:17:38

I've never driven this car.

0:17:390:17:41

I've only sat in it.

0:17:410:17:43

Are you telling us or the police?

0:17:430:17:45

Because that sounded like an alibi to me. "I have never!

0:17:470:17:49

"And neither have I ever put a dead body in the boot."

0:17:490:17:53

So then, did you...? When you bought the grey car,

0:17:540:17:56

did you want it in grey at that time,

0:17:560:17:58

or was there always an immediate...

0:17:580:18:00

Was there an immediate, "We want it but we want to re-sprayed"?

0:18:000:18:02

It was an immediate "We want it and we want it a different colour,"

0:18:020:18:06

and then we were advised not to get it re-sprayed but to get it wrapped.

0:18:060:18:12

-What does that mean?

-It's a thing you can do to a car

0:18:120:18:15

to change its colour other than re-spraying it.

0:18:150:18:20

I think it's called a vinyl wrap.

0:18:200:18:23

Are you getting mixed up with some sort of album from the 1980s?

0:18:230:18:27

That's for you to judge.

0:18:270:18:29

What was your vinyl wrap colour?

0:18:290:18:31

Well, we wanted it dark green, like British racing green.

0:18:310:18:37

Yeah. Can I ask a question?

0:18:370:18:39

This type of BMW you bought, does it not come in racing green?

0:18:390:18:42

Well, I don't know, but it was hard enough to find

0:18:420:18:47

-that we didn't want to...

-They are quite rare aren't they, BMWs?

0:18:470:18:50

-They're very, very rare.

-David, you don't drive.

-Mh-mm.

0:18:500:18:54

How did you get into the dealership?

0:18:540:18:55

We actually did all of the buying and everything via e-mail

0:18:550:19:01

and the phone, but I will say, my wife can drive.

0:19:010:19:05

Which was very much why we were looking to buy a car.

0:19:050:19:08

You know, if neither of us could drive, it's basically just a very,

0:19:100:19:13

very expensive shed.

0:19:130:19:15

OK, you said racing green,

0:19:160:19:18

then the car arrives or you go to get it and what colour is it?

0:19:180:19:22

More of a felt tip, more of a Kermit green.

0:19:220:19:26

So which colour did you go for next?

0:19:260:19:28

Blue. Dark blue.

0:19:280:19:30

-And how has that panned out for you?

-It's nice.

0:19:300:19:33

LAUGHTER

0:19:330:19:35

All right. We need an answer.

0:19:380:19:40

So, Lee's team. Is Matt Adam's worried window washer,

0:19:400:19:44

Jason's puppy pal or David's colourful car dealer?

0:19:440:19:48

I'm feeling Jason because he came up with a couple of really nice details

0:19:480:19:52

very quickly, like the shooting range and Penny.

0:19:520:19:56

What about Adam's?

0:19:560:19:58

He's making life hard for himself.

0:19:580:19:59

If he's making this up and he's decided to call

0:19:590:20:01

both the window cleaners Matt

0:20:010:20:03

and then he has to invent another so he called him Matt Matt.

0:20:030:20:05

How big is your house, Adam?

0:20:050:20:07

Because it doesn't look very big on EastEnders.

0:20:070:20:10

And what about David and his car?

0:20:130:20:14

Now, David and his car's an interesting one

0:20:140:20:17

because I can believe this of David.

0:20:170:20:19

The bit I can most believe is a burly mechanic coming round

0:20:190:20:23

or burly salesman going,

0:20:230:20:24

"I know that's not what you ordered, but you're having it."

0:20:240:20:27

And David going, "OK, thank you."

0:20:270:20:29

That's the bit I most believe. So, what do we think?

0:20:310:20:35

-I'll go for Jason.

-You think it's Jason?

0:20:350:20:37

-What are you thinking, Phil?

-I'm thinking Jason.

0:20:370:20:40

Oh, you're thinking Jason as well.

0:20:400:20:42

Go on, we'll go with my team then and say Jason.

0:20:420:20:44

OK. Matt, would you please reveal your true identity.

0:20:440:20:49

I'm Matt

0:20:490:20:51

and David made me change the colour of his car twice.

0:20:510:20:53

APPLAUSE

0:20:530:20:55

Thank you very much, Matt.

0:20:570:20:59

Which brings us to our final round, Quickfire Lies.

0:21:020:21:05

And we start with...

0:21:050:21:06

It's Lee.

0:21:060:21:09

On the first day of my holiday I lost my glasses,

0:21:090:21:12

so I was forced to read an entire book

0:21:120:21:14

through a set of binoculars I found in the villa.

0:21:140:21:17

-David's team.

-I've been here all day and I haven't seen you wear glasses.

0:21:190:21:24

Well, that's because I wear contact lenses.

0:21:240:21:27

Why didn't you wear contact lenses?

0:21:270:21:30

Because I didn't take them on that particular holiday.

0:21:300:21:32

-What was the book?

-The book?

0:21:320:21:34

-Well...

-LAUGHTER

0:21:340:21:37

The Kipper.

0:21:370:21:38

-By?

-Brian Fish.

0:21:380:21:41

A book called The Kipper by Brian Fish?

0:21:420:21:44

I haven't read it or heard of it.

0:21:440:21:46

What's the genre of this book?

0:21:460:21:48

-It's a thriller.

-Right.

0:21:480:21:50

The Kipper was the codename for a spy.

0:21:520:21:54

-Where were you on holiday?

-I was actually in Malaysia.

0:21:540:21:56

-What part of Malaysia?

-Coconut Island!

0:21:560:22:00

LAUGHTER

0:22:000:22:01

What make were the binoculars?

0:22:020:22:03

I think you'll find I didn't have my glasses, how do I know that?

0:22:030:22:06

APPLAUSE

0:22:060:22:07

I mean, don't get me wrong, I tried to look through my binoculars

0:22:090:22:12

to find out and I even looked into the mirror

0:22:120:22:15

but it just wasn't working out, the whole thing, I was like...

0:22:150:22:17

Because the book had to be a long way away from me.

0:22:170:22:20

Sorry, it had to be a long way away from you?

0:22:210:22:23

Otherwise, it's so close to when you get to the thrilling bits,

0:22:230:22:26

it's too scary.

0:22:260:22:28

"He got killed!"

0:22:280:22:29

-HE SCREAMS

-So I have to, it's...

0:22:290:22:32

How did you set it up?

0:22:320:22:33

The book was at the other end of the, we had a little pool

0:22:330:22:36

in the villa, and it was on the other end of the pool

0:22:360:22:38

and I would sit there like that.

0:22:380:22:40

And then...

0:22:410:22:42

How would you turn the pages?

0:22:420:22:44

I'd put it down there and then I'd get up and I'd walk, turn the page,

0:22:440:22:49

crease it and back round again.

0:22:490:22:51

So, you got there and you'd forgotten your glasses?

0:22:560:23:00

-Correct.

-How did you manage to get there without realising?

0:23:000:23:05

Because I forgot them. I left them somewhere en route.

0:23:050:23:08

Right. Where?

0:23:080:23:10

I put them down like this in the taxi.

0:23:100:23:13

I stepped out for a second, I was literally rubbing my eyes like that.

0:23:130:23:17

The taxi's gone.

0:23:170:23:19

I know. Unbelievable.

0:23:190:23:21

That's the exact word I was thinking of.

0:23:230:23:25

You hadn't arrived at your destination?

0:23:250:23:28

I took the glasses off for a second, like that.

0:23:280:23:30

-To put them down in the taxi?

-But there's a reason I took them,

0:23:300:23:32

-put them down for a second.

-Yeah.

-They're my proper glasses.

0:23:320:23:35

To put on my sunglasses when I get out the car.

0:23:350:23:38

The sunglasses are prescription.

0:23:380:23:39

-Yeah.

-I step out the car, he drives off,

0:23:390:23:41

I've left the glasses in the back,

0:23:410:23:43

I can now see perfectly clearly through the sunglasses.

0:23:430:23:45

I know what you're going to ask me, so I'll just get that point.

0:23:450:23:49

During the holiday, I then lost the sunglasses.

0:23:490:23:52

-Another taxi?

-No, I just... I was in the sea.

0:23:520:23:56

You were in the sea and what,

0:23:560:23:58

you put them on a dolphin?

0:23:580:23:59

Well, I didn't know it was a dolphin,

0:24:010:24:03

I thought it was one of those glasses rests.

0:24:030:24:05

No, I just put them down, oh, I didn't put them down,

0:24:070:24:09

I put them on and then I went into the sea,

0:24:090:24:10

had a little swim and then a big wave came

0:24:100:24:12

like that and went, whoosh, like that.

0:24:120:24:14

That's not the bit that knocked my glasses off, though.

0:24:140:24:16

I just stood up and went "Wow, look at that wave!"

0:24:160:24:19

-And then I'd lost them.

-Yeah.

0:24:190:24:21

I'm going to have to spend the next whatever it was, two weeks,

0:24:210:24:23

without my sunglasses.

0:24:230:24:25

So, I just stayed...

0:24:250:24:26

Reading a book from one end of a pool to another

0:24:260:24:29

with your binoculars.

0:24:290:24:31

It was awful. Everything was like that, even the foreplay.

0:24:310:24:34

I said, "Go over there so I can have a good look.

0:24:340:24:36

"Yes, very pleasant, thank you," and then I'd walk over.

0:24:380:24:41

And she'd say, "Do I look sexy in this?"

0:24:420:24:44

I think, "Oh, hang on."

0:24:440:24:45

-So, what are you thinking?

-I wear glasses.

0:24:530:24:56

You are so protective of your glasses.

0:24:560:24:58

There are various implausible moments in this story.

0:24:580:25:01

I would say the losing of sunglasses in the sea

0:25:010:25:04

is not the most implausible.

0:25:040:25:06

I would say it is the image of Lee sitting at one end

0:25:060:25:09

of a swimming pool with his binoculars and a book

0:25:090:25:12

propped up at the other end of the swimming pool,

0:25:120:25:15

a swimming pool he has to walk round in order to turn the page.

0:25:150:25:19

So, you're saying it's a lie?

0:25:190:25:21

Well, I would say it was a lie.

0:25:210:25:22

I think we're saying lie, I think we're unanimous on that.

0:25:220:25:25

All right. So, Lee, truth or lie?

0:25:250:25:29

It is in fact, where's the button?

0:25:290:25:31

LAUGHTER

0:25:310:25:33

Tell me when I'm close.

0:25:340:25:36

-Yay!

-A lie!

0:25:360:25:38

Yes, it's a lie.

0:25:430:25:44

Lee didn't read an entire book through binoculars.

0:25:440:25:46

Next...

0:25:460:25:48

It's David.

0:25:480:25:50

HE CHUCKLES

0:25:530:25:55

Lie by the sounds of it.

0:25:550:25:56

No, no, I'm just chuckling away to myself.

0:25:580:26:01

I can no longer...

0:26:020:26:04

I can no longer drink orange squash...

0:26:040:26:08

I'm telling you, I think I've become hysterical.

0:26:080:26:11

I can no longer drink orange squash

0:26:140:26:16

because it sends me berserk.

0:26:160:26:18

LAUGHTER

0:26:180:26:20

-Lee.

-And when did you discover this?

0:26:250:26:29

Oh, I discovered it last summer.

0:26:290:26:33

And what kind of berserk are we talking?

0:26:330:26:36

Really sort of very giggly

0:26:360:26:39

and odd

0:26:390:26:40

and rude.

0:26:400:26:41

Imagine I'm in a garden with you and you've just had

0:26:410:26:44

quite a bit of orange squash and I say, "Hey, how are you doing?"

0:26:440:26:48

-AGGRESSIVELY:

-I'm all right, what about you?

0:26:480:26:50

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

0:26:500:26:51

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-And I sort of realise, hang on,

0:26:530:26:56

that was misjudged, I was trying to be friendly

0:26:560:26:58

but I seemed really harsh.

0:26:580:27:00

I haven't seen you for a while, is your wife here?

0:27:000:27:02

-HARSHLY:

-I don't know, why don't you look for her?

0:27:020:27:05

SHE'S PROBABLY OUT THERE RE-WRAPPING THE CAR AGAIN!

0:27:050:27:08

Yeah!

0:27:080:27:10

-What was this event?

-It was a party of friends,

0:27:100:27:13

in a garden at a friend's house.

0:27:130:27:15

Right, how did people react when you became berserk?

0:27:150:27:18

I think those people were kind but actually it was my wife essentially

0:27:180:27:24

said "You've gone a bit weird

0:27:240:27:26

"and maybe we should go, have a glass of water."

0:27:260:27:29

-You've had too many, love.

-So, what are you going to say?

0:27:290:27:32

Is he telling the truth?

0:27:320:27:33

-Maggie, you think it's...

-I think it's a lie.

0:27:330:27:35

-You think it's a lie.

-Phil?

0:27:350:27:37

-I say it's a lie.

-Well, if my team says it's a lie,

0:27:370:27:39

then I will overrule and say it's the truth.

0:27:390:27:41

You think it's the truth?

0:27:410:27:43

I might overrule for once, I never overrule.

0:27:430:27:45

Go on, then. I'm feeling a bit like, do you know why?

0:27:450:27:47

I had a small Sunny Delight before the show

0:27:470:27:49

and I'm feeling a bit like, "Yeah, whatever!"

0:27:490:27:53

David, they're saying it's the truth.

0:27:530:27:57

Is it the truth or is it a lie?

0:27:570:27:59

It is...

0:27:590:28:00

a lie.

0:28:000:28:01

APPLAUSE

0:28:010:28:03

BUZZER And that noise signals time is up.

0:28:050:28:07

It's the end of the show and I can reveal that David's team

0:28:070:28:10

have won by four points to two.

0:28:100:28:12

Thanks for watching, good night.

0:28:140:28:17

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