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Good evening and welcome to Would I Lie To You?, | 0:00:25 | 0:00:28 | |
the show where it's fine to fib. | 0:00:28 | 0:00:29 | |
On David Mitchell's team tonight, | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
she says she'd rather be known for her journalism | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
than her glamorous dress sense. | 0:00:34 | 0:00:36 | |
Well, I'd rather be known for my comedy | 0:00:36 | 0:00:38 | |
than for being a world class lover, | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
but we play the hand we're dealt. It's Emily Maitlis. | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:00:43 | 0:00:46 | |
And I'm not saying he went to a posh school, | 0:00:46 | 0:00:49 | |
but the kids who had a packed lunch brought it in a hamper. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
From Fresh Meat and Hit The Road Jack, Jack Whitehall. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:55 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:00:55 | 0:00:57 | |
And on Lee Mack's team tonight, | 0:00:59 | 0:01:00 | |
he's Carson the butler in Downton Abbey, | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
a show that's meticulous in its attention to historical accuracy, | 0:01:03 | 0:01:07 | |
even down to the colour of Lord Grantham's iPad. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
It's Jim Carter. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:10 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
And he's won so many BAFTAs, | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
he's the first man in Britain ever to finish a tin of Brasso. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
It's the satirist and broadcaster Armando Iannucci. | 0:01:19 | 0:01:23 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
And so we begin with Round 1, | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
Home Truths, where our panellists each read out a statement | 0:01:28 | 0:01:31 | |
from the card in front of them. Now, to make things harder, | 0:01:31 | 0:01:33 | |
they've never seen the card before, so they've no idea | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
what they'll be faced with, and it's up to the opposing team to sort the fact from the fiction. | 0:01:36 | 0:01:40 | |
Jim, you're first up, | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
so would you please reveal all? | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
Right. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
As a method actor, on the set of Downton Abbey | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
I like to remain in character all day | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
and even help serve lunch to the cast and the crew as Carson. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:55 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:01:55 | 0:01:57 | |
There we are, David. What do you think? | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
Right. My immediate question is, | 0:01:59 | 0:02:01 | |
I think on a big set like Downton Abbey | 0:02:01 | 0:02:04 | |
with a lot of high profile stars like Maggie Smith, | 0:02:04 | 0:02:07 | |
there'd be an insurance issue with unqualified caterers serving lunch. | 0:02:07 | 0:02:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
Nobody's ever told me there's an insurance issue. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:14 | |
I don't do Maggie, I have to say. Maggie... | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:17 | 0:02:20 | |
Do you bring her her food, then? | 0:02:20 | 0:02:22 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
I don't serve Maggie her food. | 0:02:24 | 0:02:25 | |
What I do is, I bring the food to the people on the dining bus, | 0:02:25 | 0:02:29 | |
rather than go round to individual caravans or changing rooms. | 0:02:29 | 0:02:34 | |
Why do you think that helps your performance? | 0:02:34 | 0:02:36 | |
It just helps me stay in character somehow. | 0:02:36 | 0:02:40 | |
I don't like to switch off. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:41 | |
I lose concentration if I switch off, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:43 | |
so I just try to stay with it. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
It's tricky when you're serving things out of polystyrene, | 0:02:45 | 0:02:48 | |
on polystyrene plates, but it just helps me. | 0:02:48 | 0:02:50 | |
I was going to say, if you want to inhabit the mind of the Edwardian | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
or First World War butler and you say, | 0:02:54 | 0:02:56 | |
"I am that person, I am that person," | 0:02:56 | 0:02:57 | |
then suddenly there's a camera, | 0:02:57 | 0:02:59 | |
an HD camera and a boom in front of you, | 0:02:59 | 0:03:01 | |
aren't you going to scream, "Witchcraft, witchcraft"? | 0:03:01 | 0:03:03 | |
"What is this madness? The aliens are here." | 0:03:03 | 0:03:07 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:07 | 0:03:08 | |
No, I wouldn't dream of doing that cos I'm in the bubble, you know, | 0:03:08 | 0:03:11 | |
so I don't notice those things. | 0:03:11 | 0:03:13 | |
Do you do it with every role that you play? | 0:03:13 | 0:03:15 | |
If you were doing a film about, say, | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
a man that liked wearing women's underwear, | 0:03:17 | 0:03:20 | |
you would be committed | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
to wearing women's underwear for the whole shoot? | 0:03:22 | 0:03:25 | |
You're the only person who's seen that film, Jack. | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:27 | 0:03:29 | |
But you're a dresser, obviously, so you would, | 0:03:29 | 0:03:31 | |
you would dress all the male members of the cast that you tend to. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:35 | |
I'm a butler, madam. A dresser?! | 0:03:35 | 0:03:37 | |
I mean, there are scenes | 0:03:37 | 0:03:38 | |
in which you help Lord Grantham on with his pants. | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
Yeah, that's when the other valets have disappeared or are in jail | 0:03:41 | 0:03:44 | |
or being accused of murder and things like that. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
Yeah, which is most weeks! | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
It's only in extremis that I do the cufflinks. | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
A butler will sometimes do that, I can vouch for that. | 0:03:50 | 0:03:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
I think the problem with you, Jim, is you've got such a lovely voice, | 0:03:54 | 0:03:58 | |
everybody's happy just sat there, just sat there like this. | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
Yeah, you flounder in such an authoritative way. | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
Viewers will be pleased to know that Jim's answer | 0:04:07 | 0:04:09 | |
is now available as an audio book. | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
That method acting thing, though, is true. I met someone recently that was in Hollyoaks, | 0:04:13 | 0:04:17 | |
and they were really stupid in real life as well. | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:04:19 | 0:04:21 | |
They do, they do it all the time. | 0:04:21 | 0:04:22 | |
I knew someone in Hollyoaks, | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
and his granny used to watch every episode and he said, | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
"Granny, you really... please don't." | 0:04:27 | 0:04:29 | |
So what he did was, | 0:04:29 | 0:04:30 | |
if it was his last scene of the episode, he'd go like that, | 0:04:30 | 0:04:33 | |
and that was, Granny could switch off then, | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
cos she knew he wasn't in it any more. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:38 | |
So what do you think, David? | 0:04:38 | 0:04:39 | |
I don't think it's true. I think it's the sort of thing | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
people make up about actors, and I think in this instance | 0:04:42 | 0:04:44 | |
it'd be very impractical on a long, busy filming day... | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
You'd spill things, wouldn't you? You'd spill things on your suit. | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
The last thing Jim would want to do is serve other people food. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
Well, I think it's very feasible that an actor would do | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
that method thing, but I think Jim, having heard him and met him, | 0:04:57 | 0:05:00 | |
he's such a cool cat, | 0:05:00 | 0:05:01 | |
I imagine he's the kind of guy, rocks up on set, | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
gets handed the script, quick skim-read | 0:05:03 | 0:05:05 | |
and then in the words of Snoop Dogg, just drops it like it's hot. | 0:05:05 | 0:05:09 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:09 | 0:05:10 | |
I think he means it's a lie. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:13 | |
Do you know, thanks to you, | 0:05:13 | 0:05:14 | |
we're reaching a whole different demographic. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:05:17 | 0:05:19 | |
So, they think it's a lie. | 0:05:19 | 0:05:21 | |
Jim, truth or lie? | 0:05:21 | 0:05:24 | |
I do drop it like it's hot, | 0:05:24 | 0:05:26 | |
because it is a lie. | 0:05:26 | 0:05:27 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
Yes, it was a big, fat lie. | 0:05:33 | 0:05:34 | |
Jim doesn't remain in character all day at Downton Abbey. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:37 | |
Jack, you're next. | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
I once hid a girl in my bed | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
whilst my entire family came into the bedroom | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
to have a conversation with me. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
Right. Lee. | 0:05:47 | 0:05:48 | |
Now, how old were you? | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
I was...er, 18. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
And, bit of a nervy question - how old was she? | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
15! No she was... she was of age. | 0:05:55 | 0:05:59 | |
-Of age? -Yeah. | 0:05:59 | 0:06:01 | |
That could be... | 0:06:01 | 0:06:02 | |
-44! -..65... | 0:06:02 | 0:06:04 | |
No, she was just of a normal age. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
What do you mean, a normal age? That's a bit ageist, isn't it? | 0:06:07 | 0:06:10 | |
-For an 18-year-old boy. -Are you saying that Rob's abnormal? | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
Well, yeah, if Rob was in my bed it would be a bit weird, but... | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
I tell you what, a lot easier to hide him. | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
Just pop him in a pillow case, throw him over your shoulder, off you go. | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:23 | 0:06:24 | |
So, you'd had a lovely tender time with this young lady, | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
the next morning arrived, the start of a whole new dawn. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:30 | |
And she was secreted, hidden, under the duvet. | 0:06:30 | 0:06:35 | |
My dad comes in... | 0:06:35 | 0:06:36 | |
Knock, knock, knock. | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
-..and I say, get under there. -Under there. | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
And what did your dad say? "No chance"? | 0:06:41 | 0:06:42 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:42 | 0:06:45 | |
I thought, I don't want to have to have an awkward moment with my dad | 0:06:46 | 0:06:50 | |
introducing him to this girl, so I said, | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
"Why don't you just hide under there?" | 0:06:52 | 0:06:54 | |
Was she a very thin girl? | 0:06:54 | 0:06:57 | |
Because I would have thought | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
you would have seen a body under a duvet. | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
You see, you don't understand the kind of toggage | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
that I'm rocking back at home. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:04 | |
It was a very thick duvet, like, yeah, plenty of... | 0:07:06 | 0:07:09 | |
-Was it winter? -Yeah, it was winter, | 0:07:09 | 0:07:11 | |
but I get very cold at night. | 0:07:11 | 0:07:13 | |
There's nothing worse than a heavy tog in the summer. | 0:07:13 | 0:07:16 | |
I hate it. I have two duvets within the thing and I take them out. | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
So do I, so do I, I take one away for the summer. | 0:07:18 | 0:07:20 | |
-Yeah. -Stick it back on for the winter. | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
-It's a lovely way of doing it, if any of you are unsure. -It's so good. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
God, is it always this boring, this show? | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:07:28 | 0:07:29 | |
I'm just going to cut to the chase here. | 0:07:29 | 0:07:31 | |
You two watch him very carefully while I ask this question. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
What was her name? | 0:07:35 | 0:07:36 | |
Yeah, well, that's no... | 0:07:36 | 0:07:39 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:39 | 0:07:41 | |
I can't, I can't say on TV. | 0:07:41 | 0:07:44 | |
-Oh, very good. -Why? -I want to protect her modesty. | 0:07:44 | 0:07:46 | |
But did the whole family come into your bedroom often? | 0:07:46 | 0:07:48 | |
-As I did that morning. -Did they say, "Morning!"? | 0:07:48 | 0:07:51 | |
My dad will always come into my room | 0:07:51 | 0:07:53 | |
and he always brings in the Telegraph and reads to me | 0:07:53 | 0:07:55 | |
little extracts that he's found. | 0:07:55 | 0:07:56 | |
And your mum's behind him and your brother and sister, "Oh, can we listen?" | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
What happened this one morning was that my dad had received | 0:07:59 | 0:08:03 | |
a round robin, so he came in to read me this letter. | 0:08:03 | 0:08:05 | |
I said, hide under the duvet, | 0:08:05 | 0:08:06 | |
then my mum came in with a cup of tea, | 0:08:06 | 0:08:08 | |
and my dad was reading this letter so he was like, | 0:08:08 | 0:08:10 | |
"Oh, Molly, Barnaby, why don't you come in as well?" | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
Sounds like a rough family. | 0:08:12 | 0:08:14 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:14 | 0:08:16 | |
So, they were all round the bed and she was sort of hidden under there. | 0:08:16 | 0:08:19 | |
It was quite a long letter as well, | 0:08:19 | 0:08:21 | |
-so I had to keep sort of giving her a bit of air. -And then... | 0:08:21 | 0:08:23 | |
You were doing that, were you? | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Is it a single bed or a double bed? | 0:08:25 | 0:08:26 | |
It's one of those ones that's like a small double bed. | 0:08:26 | 0:08:29 | |
-They're called single beds. -Single bed. | 0:08:29 | 0:08:32 | |
It was, yeah. It wasn't... | 0:08:32 | 0:08:34 | |
Is this the first time that had happened? | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
Had you never been in that situation before or...? | 0:08:36 | 0:08:39 | |
I'd brought a girl back before but I'd been very careful | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
to sort of sneak her out in the morning, | 0:08:42 | 0:08:44 | |
I'd like distracted my dad and then you just go, go, go. | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
So that was the plan? | 0:08:47 | 0:08:48 | |
You were going to sneak her out without anyone noticing. | 0:08:48 | 0:08:50 | |
Through the laundry chute? | 0:08:50 | 0:08:51 | |
I don't know what a laundry chute is, | 0:08:51 | 0:08:54 | |
the butler normally just takes it from the room. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
That's true. | 0:08:56 | 0:08:58 | |
Sorry. No, but I was planning on sort of sneaking out | 0:08:58 | 0:09:02 | |
and not having to deal with this situation and at the end, | 0:09:02 | 0:09:05 | |
she was under there for too long. I had to let her out. | 0:09:05 | 0:09:07 | |
Not let her out, | 0:09:07 | 0:09:08 | |
that sounded like... She wanted to be there initially. | 0:09:08 | 0:09:11 | |
The only way you can conceal someone lying under a duvet | 0:09:11 | 0:09:13 | |
is to lie on top of them | 0:09:13 | 0:09:15 | |
in exactly the same body shape that they are, really. | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
Yeah. Well, I was sort of... I'm like, it's sort of over her... | 0:09:17 | 0:09:20 | |
What the hell are you doing? | 0:09:20 | 0:09:21 | |
No, no, just so I could, you know, I had a bit of my body on her. | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
I don't like humans touching me. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
-LAUGHTER -A bit of... | 0:09:27 | 0:09:29 | |
OK, so what do you think, Lee? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:32 | |
-I think - well, sorry, Jim, what do you...? -True. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:34 | |
You think it's true. | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
I'm borderline true. Yeah, true. | 0:09:36 | 0:09:38 | |
Borderline true. Go on, then, we'll go with true. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:40 | |
You're saying true. | 0:09:40 | 0:09:41 | |
OK, Jack Whitehall, were you telling the truth or were you telling a lie? | 0:09:41 | 0:09:45 | |
-It is a true. -Scandalous. | 0:09:45 | 0:09:48 | |
Wow. | 0:09:48 | 0:09:50 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Yes, it's true. Jack did once hide a girl in his bed | 0:09:53 | 0:09:56 | |
whilst his family came into the bedroom | 0:09:56 | 0:09:59 | |
to have a conversation with him. | 0:09:59 | 0:10:01 | |
Our next round is called This Is My, | 0:10:01 | 0:10:03 | |
where we bring on a mystery guest | 0:10:03 | 0:10:04 | |
who has a close connection to one of our panellists. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:07 | |
This week, each of David's team will claim it's them | 0:10:07 | 0:10:09 | |
that has the genuine connection to the guest, | 0:10:09 | 0:10:12 | |
and it's up to Lee's team to spot who's telling the truth. | 0:10:12 | 0:10:15 | |
So, please welcome this week's special guest, Benjie. | 0:10:15 | 0:10:19 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:10:19 | 0:10:23 | |
So, Emily, what is Benjie to you? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
This is Benjie. He's helping me to fulfil my recurring dream, | 0:10:29 | 0:10:34 | |
which is to do the splits. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:37 | 0:10:38 | |
Jack, how do you know Benjie? | 0:10:38 | 0:10:40 | |
This is Benjie and last year he hypnotised me and a friend | 0:10:40 | 0:10:46 | |
so that we could watch the Harry Potter films | 0:10:46 | 0:10:49 | |
as though we'd never seen them before. | 0:10:49 | 0:10:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
And finally, David. Your relationship with Benjie? | 0:10:54 | 0:10:56 | |
This is my ice cream man, Benjie. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:00 | 0:11:01 | |
Oh, it's not, is it, David? It really isn't. | 0:11:01 | 0:11:04 | |
This, as I say, this is my ice cream man, | 0:11:04 | 0:11:07 | |
Benjie, and he calls me Two Flakes, because... | 0:11:07 | 0:11:11 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:11 | 0:11:15 | |
Go on. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:16 | |
..because he always gives me two flakes in my 99. | 0:11:16 | 0:11:21 | |
There we are. Lee, where do you want to start? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
Well, I'm going to start with Emily, | 0:11:23 | 0:11:25 | |
I want to establish exactly what we're talking about here. | 0:11:25 | 0:11:27 | |
Is it a reoccurring dream you have and want to get rid of the dream, | 0:11:27 | 0:11:30 | |
so he's helping you somehow with that dream, | 0:11:30 | 0:11:33 | |
or it's a lifelong dream to do the splits? | 0:11:33 | 0:11:35 | |
It's a recurring dream and he's helping me | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
to get flexible enough. You need to be, don't you, for the splits? | 0:11:39 | 0:11:42 | |
-So it's not to do with your mind, it's to do with your body. -No, no. | 0:11:42 | 0:11:45 | |
He's trying to help you achieve your goal of DOING the splits. | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
Yes, that's right. | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
What angle have you got to so far? | 0:11:50 | 0:11:51 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:51 | 0:11:53 | |
Erm...um, what, right leg or left leg? | 0:11:53 | 0:11:56 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:11:56 | 0:11:59 | |
To produce an angle you need both legs. | 0:11:59 | 0:12:03 | |
Trust me, that's my chat-up line. | 0:12:03 | 0:12:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:06 | 0:12:10 | |
If it was the box splits... | 0:12:11 | 0:12:12 | |
The box splits. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:13 | |
..which is where you're - ta-da! Like, facing forwards. | 0:12:13 | 0:12:16 | |
-Yeah. -Not at all. -No. | 0:12:16 | 0:12:18 | |
If it's that way... | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
-Yeah. -Not bad. -All right. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:22 | |
That way...could do better. | 0:12:22 | 0:12:23 | |
So your best one is your right leg forward and your left leg back? | 0:12:23 | 0:12:26 | |
Yeah, left leg, I think. | 0:12:26 | 0:12:27 | |
Great. Well, let's make it easy for you. Do that one. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:30 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:12:30 | 0:12:33 | |
I'm not very... I can't, but no, the point is... | 0:12:33 | 0:12:36 | |
What? What is the point? | 0:12:36 | 0:12:38 | |
The point is, it's a recurring dream. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:41 | |
It's really weird. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
I have a recurring dream with you doing the splits in it as well. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:45 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:12:45 | 0:12:47 | |
I have one that I'm a piece of cheese and a Womble's chasing me. | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
I don't wake up and go to the nearest man and go, | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
"Could you dress as a Womble? | 0:12:52 | 0:12:53 | |
"I'll dress as a piece of cheese and you chase me." | 0:12:53 | 0:12:56 | |
You don't then try and do it. | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
Maybe you should. | 0:12:58 | 0:12:59 | |
There are different sorts of dreams though, aren't there? | 0:12:59 | 0:13:02 | |
There are dreams you want to come true... | 0:13:02 | 0:13:04 | |
You're not going to break into song again, are you, David? | 0:13:04 | 0:13:07 | |
LAUGHTER So what's he teaching you to do? | 0:13:07 | 0:13:10 | |
Is it Pilates...? | 0:13:10 | 0:13:11 | |
Yeah, it's Pilates. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:13 | |
Don't give her multiple choice! | 0:13:13 | 0:13:15 | |
Have you had enough now of Emily? Do you want to move on? | 0:13:15 | 0:13:18 | |
-Never have enough of Emily. -All right. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
David, can I ask you a very mundane question? | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
How much does Benjie charge you for a double flake 99? | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
He charges me £1.50. | 0:13:27 | 0:13:29 | |
How much to the regular customer is a double flake ice cream? | 0:13:29 | 0:13:33 | |
A double flake ice cream is not available to the regular customer. | 0:13:33 | 0:13:37 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
What went through your mind when... | 0:13:40 | 0:13:42 | |
Presumably there was a time when he said, | 0:13:42 | 0:13:44 | |
"I'm not going to give you just one, I'm going to give you two." | 0:13:44 | 0:13:47 | |
Basically my thoughts were a mixture of pleasure and embarrassment. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:52 | |
Like in so many scenarios in my life. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:55 | |
How often is Benjie in your area? | 0:13:55 | 0:13:58 | |
I mean, how many times a week does he service your street? | 0:13:58 | 0:14:03 | |
Benjie's ice cream van is often parked at a certain place | 0:14:03 | 0:14:08 | |
-where I am often passing. -Where? | 0:14:08 | 0:14:09 | |
By Queen's Park in north-west London. | 0:14:09 | 0:14:13 | |
Why are you regularly passing there? | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
Because I often walk that way from my flat to the BBC. | 0:14:15 | 0:14:20 | |
Who effected the introduction, David? | 0:14:20 | 0:14:22 | |
Who proffered the name Benjie, I mean...? | 0:14:22 | 0:14:24 | |
Well, I... Benjie proffered his own name. | 0:14:24 | 0:14:26 | |
Did he? | 0:14:26 | 0:14:27 | |
In what circumstances? | 0:14:27 | 0:14:30 | |
Benjie recognised me... | 0:14:30 | 0:14:32 | |
Oooh! | 0:14:32 | 0:14:33 | |
..in my capacity as someone who has been on television. | 0:14:33 | 0:14:37 | |
Oooh! | 0:14:37 | 0:14:38 | |
And... | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
When were you on television? | 0:14:40 | 0:14:42 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:42 | 0:14:44 | |
Is it sad when summer's over? | 0:14:44 | 0:14:45 | |
Do you know when it's the last time you and Benjie will be... | 0:14:45 | 0:14:48 | |
-No, I think... -..together for another year? | 0:14:48 | 0:14:50 | |
I think, thankfully, it's never quite clear | 0:14:50 | 0:14:52 | |
which time will be the last time. | 0:14:52 | 0:14:54 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:54 | 0:14:57 | |
I think in a weird way, we're both better off for not knowing. | 0:14:57 | 0:15:00 | |
Yeah. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:01 | |
So, just to be clear, Benjie offered you two flakes once | 0:15:01 | 0:15:06 | |
because he's a big fan of your estimable body of work, and... | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
That sentence wouldn't work without "of work" at the end, would it? | 0:15:09 | 0:15:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:13 | 0:15:16 | |
And then gave you the name. | 0:15:16 | 0:15:18 | |
You didn't say, "Oh, look at me, I'm David Two Flakes". | 0:15:18 | 0:15:21 | |
You didn't do that. | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
He gave you the name. | 0:15:24 | 0:15:26 | |
No-one knows, Rob, better than you | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
how desperately keen I am to develop some sort of catchphrase... | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
but in this scenario, I... It wasn't me, no. | 0:15:33 | 0:15:36 | |
And I think, actually, it wasn't the first time. | 0:15:36 | 0:15:38 | |
I wasn't given the name Two Flakes by Benjie the first time. | 0:15:38 | 0:15:41 | |
Well, of course not. That would be madness. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
Probably the second or third. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:44 | |
Fourth or fifth, surely. You'd need a pattern to have developed. | 0:15:44 | 0:15:47 | |
Some sort of pattern had developed. | 0:15:47 | 0:15:49 | |
Has he ever offered to put anything else on your cone? | 0:15:49 | 0:15:52 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:15:52 | 0:15:54 | |
No, no. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:56 | |
OK, let's move on to Jack. | 0:15:57 | 0:16:00 | |
Jack, remind us again of your connection. | 0:16:00 | 0:16:02 | |
Benjie hypnotised me and a friend so that we could watch | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
the Harry Potter films like we'd never seen them before. | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
So you've obviously seen... what, you've seen them all? | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a massive Pothead. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:13 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:13 | 0:16:16 | |
And, and you were so desperate to watch them again that you got... | 0:16:16 | 0:16:19 | |
what, I mean... | 0:16:19 | 0:16:20 | |
he's obviously a professional hypnotist or a friend who can do it. | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
Well, basically, last year when Deathly Hallows Part 2 came out | 0:16:23 | 0:16:27 | |
and it was the end, it was really sad, | 0:16:27 | 0:16:30 | |
and I was going through quite a bad time | 0:16:30 | 0:16:33 | |
and I was also trying to give up smoking, | 0:16:33 | 0:16:35 | |
and Benjie was actually helping me with doing that | 0:16:35 | 0:16:38 | |
and we were talking about that and, and I said, what else have you done? | 0:16:38 | 0:16:42 | |
You know, hypnotised other people to do other things? | 0:16:42 | 0:16:45 | |
He said, yeah, well, he'd done it | 0:16:45 | 0:16:46 | |
to someone that had watched Star Wars and enjoy that experience. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
I was like, "That sounds amazing. Could you do that for me | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
"and some friends to watch Harry Potter?" | 0:16:52 | 0:16:54 | |
I think, after this show, people will want to use his services. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:56 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:56 | 0:17:00 | |
When he's hypnotising you, what happens? | 0:17:00 | 0:17:01 | |
He puts you into a transient state. | 0:17:01 | 0:17:03 | |
-How? -Is he dressed as a wizard? | 0:17:03 | 0:17:06 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
How does he get you into a transient state? What does he do? | 0:17:08 | 0:17:11 | |
-He talks to you, he relaxes you. -What does he say? | 0:17:11 | 0:17:14 | |
-Well, I can't remember. I was in a transient state. -He's good, isn't he? | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
What's it going to be, Lee? Who do you think it is? | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
I don't know. It's either... | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
It's either Two Flakes or two legs, definitely. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
Not Harry Potter, then? | 0:17:25 | 0:17:27 | |
I don't... | 0:17:27 | 0:17:28 | |
"Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus." | 0:17:28 | 0:17:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:32 | 0:17:33 | |
Yeah... Oh! | 0:17:33 | 0:17:34 | |
Couple of Potheads in. | 0:17:34 | 0:17:35 | |
-That is, of course, the Hogwarts school motto. -Right. | 0:17:35 | 0:17:39 | |
"Never tickle a sleeping dragon." | 0:17:39 | 0:17:42 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:17:42 | 0:17:46 | |
I tell you what, that's a good memory, considering you've technically only seen it once. | 0:17:46 | 0:17:50 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:17:50 | 0:17:52 | |
Right, we need an answer. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
Lee's team. Is Benjie Emily's splits teacher, | 0:17:55 | 0:17:58 | |
Jack's mind-wiping hypnotist, or David's flaky friend? | 0:17:58 | 0:18:02 | |
What are you going to say? | 0:18:02 | 0:18:03 | |
Oh, this is tough, because they're all so not true. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:07 | |
We'll go for the most ridiculous answer. We'll go for Jack. | 0:18:07 | 0:18:11 | |
You're going for Jack. | 0:18:11 | 0:18:13 | |
You're saying it's Jack. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:15 | |
It's the hypnotist, it's the Harry Pot... OK. | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
-So, Benjie... -Emily, change it to Emily. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:20 | |
-Changing to Emily. -It's Emily. -What are you saying? | 0:18:20 | 0:18:24 | |
You're saying it's Emily, it's the splits. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
Jack, we'll go for Jack. Will we go for Jack? | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:18:30 | 0:18:32 | |
I tell you what, we'll just tell you! | 0:18:32 | 0:18:34 | |
It doesn't matter! | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:18:36 | 0:18:39 | |
What are you saying? | 0:18:39 | 0:18:41 | |
-We'll go for Jack. -Jack. Saying Jack. OK. | 0:18:41 | 0:18:44 | |
Right. Benjie, would you please reveal your true identity? | 0:18:44 | 0:18:48 | |
I'm Benjie and I've been helping Emily achieve her dream | 0:18:48 | 0:18:51 | |
-of doing the splits. -Ohhh! | 0:18:51 | 0:18:54 | |
Wow, wow. And the obvious next question is, | 0:18:54 | 0:18:59 | |
-would you be willing to give us a quick splits? -Of course. | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
Whoa! | 0:19:05 | 0:19:07 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:19:07 | 0:19:09 | |
-Thank you very much, Benjie. -Thank you. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:13 | |
Which brings us to our final round, | 0:19:18 | 0:19:20 | |
Quickfire Lies. | 0:19:20 | 0:19:21 | |
We start with... | 0:19:21 | 0:19:22 | |
..David. | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
Last year I was forced to abandon | 0:19:28 | 0:19:30 | |
the purchase of a new armchair mid-transaction, | 0:19:30 | 0:19:34 | |
because the shop assistant used the terms | 0:19:34 | 0:19:37 | |
"well jel" and "amazeballs". | 0:19:37 | 0:19:41 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
Right. I... | 0:19:47 | 0:19:50 | |
What does "well jel" and "amazeballs" actually mean? | 0:19:50 | 0:19:54 | |
-I don't know. -I wasn't asking you. Jack? | 0:19:54 | 0:19:56 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:19:56 | 0:19:58 | |
-Amazeballs. -I've never heard... Have you heard...? | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
-Does "amazeballs" mean good? -Yeah. | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
-"Amazeballs" means good and "well jel" is from TOWIE. -From what? | 0:20:03 | 0:20:08 | |
-From what? -Oh, shut up! You must know what I'm talking about. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:12 | |
-You mean The Only Way Is Essex. What does "well jel" mean? -Jealous! | 0:20:12 | 0:20:15 | |
So he's selling you an armchair. What shop are you in, first of all? | 0:20:15 | 0:20:19 | |
It's a place on the Kilburn High Road. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:22 | |
I don't know the name of it. | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
-That's fine, that's vague enough. -Good. -OK. | 0:20:24 | 0:20:26 | |
It's like a sort of second-hand furniture, junk, kind of place. | 0:20:26 | 0:20:31 | |
Course. Things aren't going well, David, of course you're going | 0:20:31 | 0:20:35 | |
down Kilburn High Street to buy a second-hand chair. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:38 | |
So he's trying to sell you the chair... | 0:20:38 | 0:20:40 | |
No, I'm trying to buy the chair. | 0:20:40 | 0:20:41 | |
-You're trying to buy it? -Yeah. | 0:20:41 | 0:20:44 | |
In what context does he say you're "well jel"? | 0:20:44 | 0:20:46 | |
He was talking on his mobile. | 0:20:46 | 0:20:48 | |
-But how did...? -To who? | 0:20:48 | 0:20:50 | |
-I don't know. -But are you saying that you abandoned the transaction | 0:20:50 | 0:20:54 | |
because you were put off by his...? | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
I was put off...I mean, by the poor customer service, | 0:20:56 | 0:21:00 | |
by not really understanding a lot of what he was saying... | 0:21:00 | 0:21:04 | |
Was "amazeballs" part of the transaction with you? | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
It sounds so wrong coming out of your mouth! | 0:21:06 | 0:21:09 | |
What sort of chair was it? A Chesterfield? A low-back chair? | 0:21:09 | 0:21:13 | |
Is there a Chesterfield chair? I thought that was a sofa. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:15 | |
No! Well done. I was testing you. | 0:21:15 | 0:21:18 | |
Oh, good. The armchair round I've been hoping for! | 0:21:18 | 0:21:22 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:22 | 0:21:25 | |
So what are you going to say, Lee? Is he telling the truth? | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
What do we think? | 0:21:28 | 0:21:29 | |
I think... I think this has got the ring of truth about it. | 0:21:29 | 0:21:33 | |
He wouldn't be able to cope with a conversation with "OMG" | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
and "amazeballs" and "well jel" in it. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
-I think it would physically upset him. -Physically upset him. | 0:21:38 | 0:21:42 | |
But did you leave specifically cos he said "amazeballs"? | 0:21:42 | 0:21:44 | |
Was that the problem and you just thought, "I've had enough"? | 0:21:44 | 0:21:47 | |
It was the fact he was talking on the phone, | 0:21:47 | 0:21:49 | |
saying things I didn't understand. | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
The fact that I was just in general stressed | 0:21:51 | 0:21:52 | |
at talking to someone I hadn't been formally introduced to. | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
So what's it going to be? | 0:21:58 | 0:21:59 | |
-You're saying a lie, you're saying true. -True. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
I'm going to say... | 0:22:02 | 0:22:03 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:04 | 0:22:05 | |
..lie. | 0:22:05 | 0:22:07 | |
You're saying it's a lie. David, is it the truth or is it a lie? | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
It is a lie. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:22:13 | 0:22:16 | |
Yes, it's a lie. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:17 | |
Last year, David didn't abandon the purchase of a new armchair | 0:22:17 | 0:22:20 | |
because the shop assistant used the terms | 0:22:20 | 0:22:22 | |
"well jel" and "amazeballs". | 0:22:22 | 0:22:25 | |
Next. | 0:22:25 | 0:22:26 | |
-It's Armando. -Oh. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
I once had to abandon my car in a safari park | 0:22:29 | 0:22:33 | |
after a baboon climbed through the sunroof, | 0:22:33 | 0:22:36 | |
lay down on the back seat and fell asleep. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:38 | 0:22:41 | |
OK, so where in the safari park is the car? | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
In the lion enclosure(!) | 0:22:44 | 0:22:46 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:22:46 | 0:22:48 | |
Where...where in the safari park is the car? | 0:22:52 | 0:22:55 | |
-It's... -Where do you think it is?! | 0:22:55 | 0:22:58 | |
In the baboon area! | 0:22:58 | 0:22:59 | |
Are you answering for that team? It could have been in the car park... | 0:23:01 | 0:23:04 | |
Well, it's such a stupid question! | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
In the car park?! | 0:23:06 | 0:23:07 | |
What would the baboon be doing in the car park? | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
-The baboon... -Yes? | 0:23:12 | 0:23:13 | |
..may have escaped! | 0:23:13 | 0:23:15 | |
But you can assume it wasn't the car park. | 0:23:16 | 0:23:18 | |
I'm not saying the answer "the baboon enclosure" would have amazed me... | 0:23:18 | 0:23:22 | |
But do you wonder, perhaps... | 0:23:22 | 0:23:23 | |
I didn't expect to have to defend myself | 0:23:23 | 0:23:25 | |
to this extent with that question! | 0:23:25 | 0:23:29 | |
Well, it was a stupid question! | 0:23:29 | 0:23:30 | |
Where do you think he was, the gift shop?! | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
Well if it... if it's a stupid question, | 0:23:33 | 0:23:36 | |
cut it out in the edit! | 0:23:36 | 0:23:39 | |
No, it'll be left in to show you... | 0:23:39 | 0:23:40 | |
Where?! | 0:23:40 | 0:23:41 | |
..what a charlatan you are! | 0:23:41 | 0:23:43 | |
Where in the safari park was your car? | 0:23:43 | 0:23:47 | |
The baboon area! | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
Thank you. As I suspected. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:23:51 | 0:23:56 | |
All right, so anyway, back to where we were now. You... | 0:23:56 | 0:24:00 | |
Where were we? | 0:24:00 | 0:24:01 | |
In the baboon area! | 0:24:01 | 0:24:03 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:03 | 0:24:04 | |
So, why was the sunroof open? | 0:24:04 | 0:24:08 | |
-It wasn't, it wasn't. -Let me mime it for you. | 0:24:08 | 0:24:09 | |
Why was the sunroof open? | 0:24:09 | 0:24:13 | |
Is that how you think sunroofs work nowadays? | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
-< -EMILY: -When was the last time you had a car? | 0:24:15 | 0:24:18 | |
Why don't we all open our sunroof? | 0:24:18 | 0:24:20 | |
Let's get the audience opening their sunroof as well. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:24 | |
Come on, let's all open our sunroof together. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:27 | |
Emily, open your sunroof, girl. | 0:24:27 | 0:24:29 | |
Sorry. I'm sorry, it's still a bit hot in here. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
Shall we open the windows? | 0:24:32 | 0:24:34 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:34 | 0:24:36 | |
I... | 0:24:36 | 0:24:37 | |
Baboon! | 0:24:37 | 0:24:39 | |
You know, quite genuinely, I can't drive a car. | 0:24:39 | 0:24:43 | |
In my childhood we had a sunroof, you opened it like that. | 0:24:43 | 0:24:47 | |
Now you open them like this. | 0:24:47 | 0:24:49 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
Rob puts his hand up and says to the chauffeur, | 0:24:51 | 0:24:54 | |
"Can you open the sunroof?" | 0:24:54 | 0:24:56 | |
Anyway, why was the sunroof open? | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
Well, we didn't realise it was open. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
-Right. -That's what we did in our car. | 0:25:00 | 0:25:02 | |
You're as bad as each other, you two, aren't you? | 0:25:03 | 0:25:05 | |
Sunroof isn't there, is it? | 0:25:05 | 0:25:07 | |
You've just opened the boot and let the baboon in. | 0:25:07 | 0:25:11 | |
So you're in there, you didn't know that the sunroof was open. | 0:25:11 | 0:25:15 | |
-No. -What happened next? -It was a hot day... | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
Hot day, of course. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:18 | |
..and the air conditioning wasn't very good, | 0:25:18 | 0:25:20 | |
and we had young kids in the back, and... | 0:25:20 | 0:25:24 | |
And an extra one suddenly! | 0:25:24 | 0:25:25 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:25 | 0:25:26 | |
We had had the sunroof open, | 0:25:26 | 0:25:28 | |
we thought we'd shut it, | 0:25:28 | 0:25:30 | |
and it turned out later it was still open by about that much. | 0:25:30 | 0:25:33 | |
So the sunroof's open that amount. | 0:25:33 | 0:25:36 | |
-You're driving slowly... -Slowly. | 0:25:36 | 0:25:38 | |
-..slowly through the baboon enclosure. -Yes. | 0:25:38 | 0:25:41 | |
The kids are in the back. | 0:25:41 | 0:25:42 | |
Yes. | 0:25:42 | 0:25:44 | |
And you didn't SEE the baboon? So this is a stealth baboon? | 0:25:44 | 0:25:48 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:25:48 | 0:25:50 | |
-What alerted you to its presence? -As we were leaving the baboon area... | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
Where were you going? | 0:25:53 | 0:25:54 | |
We were going to the giraffe area, | 0:25:54 | 0:25:56 | |
and you can actually get out and feed the giraffes. | 0:25:56 | 0:25:59 | |
-Right. -But my wife, | 0:25:59 | 0:26:01 | |
who was driving, | 0:26:01 | 0:26:03 | |
just suddenly looked in the mirror and said, "Arm..." | 0:26:03 | 0:26:07 | |
I'm known as Arm at home. | 0:26:07 | 0:26:08 | |
-Arm? -Arm. -Oh, of course, yeah. | 0:26:08 | 0:26:09 | |
I thought you meant cos she had no arms. | 0:26:09 | 0:26:11 | |
Sorry, go on. She wouldn't have been driving, would she? | 0:26:11 | 0:26:16 | |
"It's a baboon! | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
"Can't you see I'm driving?" | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
She wouldn't be able to open the sunroof either. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:26:27 | 0:26:30 | |
"You deal with it, Arm! Bloody Arm." | 0:26:30 | 0:26:33 | |
"Arm, what's that!" And I turned round and saw a sleeping baboon. | 0:26:33 | 0:26:37 | |
And your kids are in the back as well. How many children? | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
How did they not notice? | 0:26:40 | 0:26:42 | |
It was a six...seven-seater. | 0:26:42 | 0:26:44 | |
-They always want to go right at the back. -Ah, so there was | 0:26:44 | 0:26:47 | |
-a whole middle tier for baboons. -For baboons. | 0:26:47 | 0:26:50 | |
Your kids didn't notice a baboon crawling in? | 0:26:50 | 0:26:53 | |
-Of course they noticed! -But they didn't say anything. -They were loving it! | 0:26:53 | 0:26:58 | |
They're saying, "Don't tell them! They'll hate the baboon. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:02 | |
"For some reason, they're against wild animals in the car!" | 0:27:02 | 0:27:06 | |
If you're four and two | 0:27:06 | 0:27:09 | |
and an animal gets in your car and sits and sleeps in front of you... | 0:27:09 | 0:27:13 | |
They're getting the big purple backside. | 0:27:13 | 0:27:16 | |
This, for them... | 0:27:16 | 0:27:18 | |
They're at the back. They're going, "This 3D film's brilliant!" | 0:27:18 | 0:27:21 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:27:21 | 0:27:22 | |
And, how did this all resolve itself? | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
Well, fortunately, the next enclosure was the giraffe enclosure | 0:27:24 | 0:27:27 | |
and you can get out and there were people there. | 0:27:27 | 0:27:30 | |
-And the giraffe ate the baboon. -Giraffes and zebras. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:32 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:27:32 | 0:27:33 | |
-One of the warders... -Yes. | 0:27:33 | 0:27:37 | |
Jim's giving us a lovely giraffe. | 0:27:37 | 0:27:38 | |
So one of the warders came and what, did they shoo it out? | 0:27:38 | 0:27:41 | |
Both doors opened, they slid open, | 0:27:41 | 0:27:44 | |
and it just scarpered out. | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
What are you thinking? We need a decision, | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
truth or lie. What do you say? | 0:27:48 | 0:27:49 | |
-What do you think, Emily? -I think it's true. | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
Do you have a clue, Jack? | 0:27:52 | 0:27:53 | |
-I think it might be true. It's pretty detailed. -I think we're going to say true. | 0:27:53 | 0:27:57 | |
-You're going to say true, yeah? -Yeah. | 0:27:57 | 0:27:59 | |
You're going to say true. Armando, truth or lie? | 0:27:59 | 0:28:03 | |
It was all a big lie. | 0:28:03 | 0:28:05 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:28:05 | 0:28:09 | |
Of course it's a lie. | 0:28:09 | 0:28:11 | |
Putting a baboon through a sunroof... | 0:28:11 | 0:28:13 | |
is the brand new gameshow next on ITV2. | 0:28:13 | 0:28:16 | |
BUZZER | 0:28:16 | 0:28:17 | |
And that noise signals time is up. It's the end of the show, | 0:28:17 | 0:28:21 | |
and I can reveal that Lee's team have won by 3 points to 2. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:25 | |
Wow. > | 0:28:25 | 0:28:26 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:28:27 | 0:28:30 | |
And my individual liar of the week this week is Jim Carter. | 0:28:30 | 0:28:34 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:28:34 | 0:28:36 | |
Yes, Jim Carter. | 0:28:36 | 0:28:38 | |
Honestly, he's so dishonest, | 0:28:38 | 0:28:40 | |
he'd steal the shirt off your back. | 0:28:40 | 0:28:42 | |
Then iron it and lay it out on the bed | 0:28:42 | 0:28:44 | |
with the rest of your morning suit. Good night. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:46 | |
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING | 0:28:46 | 0:28:50 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:29:05 | 0:29:08 |