Episode 3 Children Talking

-What do you do with your dad?

-Play.

Yeah? How do you play?

-Don't you know how to play?

-I don't know how you play with your dad.

Oh, boxing. Wrestling.

That's with my brother, boxing and wrestling.

And we play football in the front room.

What do you do with your daddy?

I just play games with him and, do you know, last time,

I put an octopus on his pillow

and she jumped right over the bed onto my face!

-Who did?

-My dad.

Can I go to the toilet, please?

Is there anything your mummy and daddy do that you don't like?

Yes, something what I really don't like - when they smack me! Hm!

Naughty boy.

-How old do you have to be to be a grandfather?

-About 24.

But... Or about something like that.

Or 44. My nanny is 90.

90 years old.

-What are your brothers and sisters like, then?

-Horrible!

-Horrible.

-Only one of my brothers are nice.

-Why are they horrible?

Well, my brother keeps on annoying me and he just won't stop it.

He punches me and pulls me by the ears!

-And jumps on my bed in the morning.

-My brother's worst.

He tramples all my toys, breaks them, tears up all my pictures.

Kicks me, I get black and blue marks all over.

He pulls my hair, he scratches. He pinches.

He bites. He kicks!

What do you do to him?

I smack him and then I get a smack in the head!

What is the very best thing you do with your daddy?

-Go out climbing.

-Oh, does he climb?

Yes, he has to pull me up.

One time I sat on a prickle bush and I hurt myself.

It really hurt and I've still got the prickle in my bottom!

It hurts very much.

Do you ever pull faces at your dad?

-Yeah, when he's taking a photo.

-What sort of face do you pull?

That's my best one. Another one's...

Have you got any more?

That you pull at your dad. Show us.

I know three more.

Go on, then.

And now the other.

This is the last one.

Do you think most families here are happy or unhappy?

Most of them are happy but some do quarrel like my mum and dad.

They were quarrelling so I went upstairs and got my tape recorder

and put it to the door, and I had it all on my tape recorder!

What did they say when you played it back?

Well, I didn't show my dad in case he grew a little bit cross

so I just showed my mum and she found it quite a giggle.

-Who's got the most relatives, then?

-Him.

-How many have you got?

86 to 90.

How do you know?

We counted them about six months ago.

How did you set about counting 86 or 90 relatives? What did you do?

On the way home, my sister and I said, um,

"Auntie Ma... Auntie Marie

"and Auntie Mary is two. And Steve and Andy, Rosemary is five."

And on till we got to ourselves.

-90 of you?

-Something like that.

What is it like having relations?

Most of the relations are all right but some of them

are a bit meaner than others.

How are they mean?

Well, when we go to see them, some of them give us two-and-six

and some of them only give us, say, sixpence.

Isn't it true that a lot of youngsters are unable to talk

to their parents?

Mostly because parents have a fixed idea of what children are

and they can't get used to the fact that children are changing today.

Modern children are different from the children of yesterday.

-Why do you think that is?

-Times have changed.

Fashions have changed. Um...

People talk differently,

eat differently, have different jobs.

-Why do you think all this has happened?

-Um...

Because people want to get better and better.

They want to be better than they were before.

What is bravery?

It is somebody who can risk his own life to save other people's lives

and he has to go over his endurance, maybe, to save somebody.

Like, if he has to swim out quite far

and maybe he can't swim properly but he will go all-out to

save the other person, regardless of all costs.

I think it's the love for other people

and it's quite often done when they're trying to save somebody

and not just so they can say, "I have been knighted,"

like Sir Chichester, who went around the world single-handed.

He didn't want just to go round just to say he was knighted.

But he's very brave because he could have easily...

A storm in Australia could easily have killed him

going across there, and he didn't cheat.

He could have cheated and nobody would have realised!

Do you think it is brave to fight?

-I don't think so.

-Why not?

-Do you like fighting?

-No.

What do the other boys think of you if you don't like fighting?

They just say that you are a coward and that.

-Do you mind being called a coward?

-No.

-Do you have to be brave at school ever?

-Yeah, when you get the belt.

-What happens when you get the belt?

-Well, Mr Graham...

The teacher takes you along and knocks at the door

and she enters and she tells Mr Graham what he's done

and she leaves and if you've to get the belt,

he always takes off his coat

and rolls up his sleeves, and when he brings out his belt

he just bends it back, testing it,

and then he tells you to hold out your hand.

He can double it or leave it like that, and if he gives you two,

he just hits you there, and you are allowed to change hands if you want.

How do you feel when all this is going on? Are you scared or brave?

Well... Half and half.

How did you get your award for bravery?

I helped to catch some hen thieves.

Me and my brother and Donald McLeod went after the one that was

-in the thing, in the hut thing.

-And was this at night?

-Yes.

What did you do with the man when you caught him?

We tied him up and told Colonel Watson,

who phoned the police.

-Were you frightened?

-Not really.

Just a little bit when I was going through the woods.

-Would you have been frightened?

-Yes!

-Why?

-Strange noises.

And footsteps.

-Aren't you as brave as your friend, don't you think?

-No.

-When are you brave in everyday life?

-When I get my injection.

How are you brave then?

Because I stick my hand in there

and then when it goes in... when it goes in, it doesn't...

When I put my hand there and it goes in, it doesn't hurt there.

-It doesn't hurt.

-What's brave in that, then?

-Hm?

-What's brave in that?

Because you're not crying!

When are you brave, then?

Oh, I'm brave when I get up in the middle of the night

and I kind of feel as if I need the toilet and I just...

I'm afraid, kind of, you see, so I say to myself, "I'm going to

"be brave this time!" and I march into the toilet

and march back again.

What are you afraid of?

Well, the wind is howling around the house

and when I pull the toilet plug, it makes a terrible noise

in the night, and I run back into my bed as fast as I can go.

Why do some people try and save others

if they are drowning or caught up a mountain or something?

Well, some people care about other people

and some people just think, "I will let them think for themselves.

"I've nowt to do with them."

Have you got any boyfriends?

I did have one.

-I've got one.

-You have?

-My Joe.

He just came in by there.

Right...

-Would you like to marry him?

-Yes.

-Why?

What do you like? Hey?

-Because he keeps kissing me.

-Does he?

-He kisses all the girls.

And he keeps kissing the boys!

-I've got a girlfriend.

-Oh?

-And she always likes me.

-She likes you?

She always be's my partner when we go to dinner.

-What sort of dinners do you go to?

-School dinner.

Who do you two want to marry, then?

Well, really, we want to marry each other, really, we do,

and that's why we planned it out last night.

Do you want to marry him, Gillian?

When you feel you are in love with somebody, what does it feel like?

Well...

You like each other

and you can't look up on somebody else and, um...

You can't marry somebody else.

And what sort of man would you look for if you're expecting

-to meet a husband?

-A rich man.

I would like a man with curly hair.

What do you want the man that you'll marry to be like, do you think?

I don't like him to have a beard!

-What has he got to be?

-Rich!

-Yeah.

-And brave.

-That's all you care about!

-No, it isn't.

-What did you say?

-That's all she cares about.

-Ooh, it isn't!

-You want to be rich when you grow up, don't you?

-Well, you do as well.

I don't. I don't want to spoil t'children.

-Neither do I but...

-THEY GIGGLE

-Will it spoil children if you're rich, do you think?

-Well...

In comics, they always have them spoilt when they're rich.

You have to ask her if she will marry you.

What do you think you will say to her?

Please would you like to marry me?

If she said no, what would you do then?

I'd say, "All right, I will try and find somebody else."

Listen, you want to marry Gillian now

and there is a long way to go before you do,

or are old enough to get married, do you think you will change your mind?

-Why not?

-Because, um, I...

We love each other, don't we?

And we can't stop it from loving each other.

I'm excited that I'm going but also in a way I am a bit worried

how I am going to get on there, if it's going to be easy to

communicate with these French people because of the different language.

My cousin's asked me to bring a sticker for his car,

and his sister has asked me to bring some perfume back,

and when I found out the price of it I said, "She'll be flippin' lucky!"

French food might be a bit different from ours.

If they do eat things like snails' legs, I don't really mind.

It's up to them.

French people, I think

they are going to look like us but a bit browner.

I think some of them will be happy but some of them will be angry

and when they're angry, they're absolutely horrible.

Did you try any phrase at all?

Parlez-vous anglais, but at the moment...

When I was doing it, I was a bit jittery and I got it wrong!

What did you have for lunch?

The first course was egg mayonnaise and the second was egg and chips.

And lastly, we had a drink of lemonade and a banana.

-What about egg and chips? Is this what you expected?

-No!

-What did you expect, then?

-French foods.

-What sort of thing?

Spaghetti Bolognese and frogs' legs and snails and all that.

When we were in the restaurant, there was another man who was

eating snails or something, and that didn't look very comforting.

Where did you spend most of the afternoon in France?

I spent it on a gun emplacement in Calais

and when I first saw it I thought it was a monstrosity.

It was used as a gun emplacement by the Germans

while shelling Britain in the war, the First World War.

-But that's 22 miles across the water, isn't it?

-Yes.

-Could the shells travel that far?

-Yes, they had to.

I don't know how the Germans done it but they found out somehow

and they planted it just in the right spot.

-What did you think of France?

-It wasn't bad.

Were you disappointed?

-Yeah.

-What did you find when you went there?

I found large shops, chemists,

all kinds of things

but they were very good indeed.

-What about numbers of people?

-There wasn't many people there.

There wasn't many people there at all.

-I think there should be more people there.

-What do you feel about wars?

If a country sort of starts on another country for

no reason at all, the other country should surely have their own back.

But is there no way to avoid wars, to avoid fighting between nations?

No, I don't think so because they tried to stop it

but there are still a few fights that grow bigger and bigger

and bigger and usually it starts as a nation war.

-There will always be wars, do you feel?

-Yes.

-Are you sure?

-Yes.

I was a bit disappointed because I'm interested in birds

and I wanted to see some French birds.

And I thought I would see quite a lot

because there's quite a lot in France, but I never.

The way they talk about France is as if it's a very sunny country

but it weren't no better from England and Scotland and Wales.

I read a book about it saying,

"Come to France for your holidays, for the sun."

There weren't no sun. It was all rain!

-Would you like to go back to France again?

-I don't think so.

I might, if I have to.

What causes these dreams?

Well, it's in your subconscious

because some time in the day something has happened.

And well, at night-time when you go to bed, you remember it

and it comes out the subconscious in the form of a dream.

Tell me about these dreams that you have.

Well, sometimes you start off

and you're on a cliff. Once I had a dream

and I was clinging onto it all the time and I was so scared, terrified

and I was falling,

and as I was falling, in my sleep, I was screaming.

My brother woke me up. I'm always having dreams, all the time.

It makes my eyes water.

What sort of dreams do you have?

-They're not dreams, they're nightmares.

-Oh?

They're horror ones, because I have the horror ones when

they are the night when there has been

Frankensteins on and everything.

And I've been under the cushion!

Why'd you think they call them nightmares?

I haven't thought of that yet.

I know about the "night" because it's in the night

but I don't know about the "mares" yet.

When you dreaming this one about falling, how frightening is it?

What do you think of?

It's just like falling all the time and you sort of jump in your bed,

and my heart was pounding all the time.

Oh, it was scary!

Do you ever have any horrible dreams?

-Yes.

-What about? ALL:

-Dracula.

Dracula?

-Yes, they are horrible.

-Dracula, he suck up your blood.

-He's got very long teeth.

-Oh, yeah. Do you dream about him?

-And what happens? What does Dracula do?

-He suck up your blood.

-He bites you here on your neck.

-And suck up your blood.

-Do you ever have dreams? BOTH:

-Yes.

-What about?

-Ghosts. His is about a...

-Cow.

-A cow? What sort of cow do you dream about?

-A wicked cow.

-Why is it a wicked cow?

It kills people.

-How does it do that?

-It bites them.

Do you think dreams ever come true?

Do you think what you dream ever really happens?

When does it?

It happens when... What Andrew said, he said he dreams of his tooth.

I dreamt of my tooth and it came out.

What do you think makes you dream?

Every night when I go to sleep I have cheese for supper

and it makes me dream because it lays on my chest.

How do you know it's the cheese that does it?

Because that's the only time I get nightmares.

And how do think cheese can make you dream?

Don't know.

-Do you stop eating cheese?

-No.

-Why not?

Cos my mum doesn't cook anything else except cheese on toast

at night.

What about you three? Supposing you had a lot of money to buy books

to put into the library, what kind of books would you buy?

Books about poor people and how to help them and how to raise

money for them,

because there's thousands of poor people in other lands,

for instance, in Africa and India and hot places like that, and...

..you should help them.

-Do you ever read in bed?

-A lot.

-Every night, in fact.

-What does your mother say about this?

My mum doesn't like it because we keep on talking

and she says it wastes the electricity.

What sort of books do you get out of the library?

-First-aid.

-What?

-First-aid.

-Just first-aid books?

-Yes.

-Don't you ever read anything else?

-No.

Why do you read first-aid books all the time?

Because I want to be a nurse and get in football matches free!

Can you give me an example of bad sportsmanship that you have seen?

Yes, once when I was... I'm in the netball team and I'm the shooter.

We were playing against Sacred Hearts

and we was taking the team and we thought, "Oh, heck,

"these will be good sports,"

and we expected a lot of things from them

but it was just the opposite and when we started playing,

they were running into the circle and everything

and doing everything wrong, and the end score was 8-7

but they let them have two minutes extra

and they'd got two girls and so we would have won 7-6

and so we lost 8-7, and I don't think that was fair at all.

Everybody likes to win but some people want to win the whole time.

What do you think of people like that, who want to win the whole time?

I think they're selfish!

Do you ever race against each other?

-Sometimes, not very often.

-Who wins?

-Usually me!

-And you still stayed friends? BOTH:

-Yes.

Would you ever trip up your best friend to stop him winning?

I wouldn't. Not sure about him!

I think I would if I was desperate for the prize,

if it was a nice prize I would, but if it wasn't, I wouldn't.

It's not a nice thing to do, is it, to trip him up?

Well, not really, but I would do it if I was desperate for it.

-Do you think you would stay friends after that?

-Um... Probably.

He would make up to me after that, yes.

How many people do you think use unfair means and cheat sometimes?

-Less than a 16th, I would have said.

-About 10%.

-10% of people are cheats.

-Not all the time.

About 7% of these 10% don't cheat so badly, not properly

and the 3% that is left cheat all the time.

What sort of people are they? Who are they, do you think?

-Well, they steal.

-They steal and burgle and murder people.

Have people like that got any conscience?

Not much, otherwise they couldn't do it.

The biggest conscience I ever had was two days ago

-when my guinea pig died.

-Your guinea pig died?

-Yes.

Why did you have a conscience about that?

Well, I wasn't feeding him properly.

We did have the food to feed him but I wasn't feeding him rightly.

How long do you think you will blame yourself for?

I think I will get over it quite soon.

You know you can get to the top by being a bad sport,

by doing unfair things?

Yes, but you can't really achieve anything, then,

just by fiddling,

but if you can do it fairly then you have really achieved something.

How do you think grown-ups fiddle?

Well, tax people and that.

They take more money than they should from the people.

And then leaves the people with no money at all.

-How much does that matter, do you think?

-It matters a lot, really.

The people who are being robbed can't enjoy life as much,

can they, cos they can't buy things that they want to

to make life pleasant.

God made one person and then he made another man and woman

and then they made some more children,

then they made another man and a woman

and then it come to a world like this that I'm born in and that.

But why did all this happen?

Why should there be a world, do you think?

Well, so they can make everything look pretty and nice

and coloured cars and flowers and trees and that

and swimming pools and that.

And what is wrong, then, with this world?

Why isn't it like it should be?

-Well, because Satan, he came and made everything bad.

-What's bad?

Well, we shouldn't have had school and things like that!

-Who put us here? BOTH:

-God.

He did it in seven days.

-That's what we think.

-Yes, but each day for him was 1,000 years.

And so that's how the dinosaurs came to reign for a long time.

When he was making Adam and Eve, the dinosaurs were

the kings of the Earth. And they ruled it.

The terriblest one of the lot was the Tyrannosaurus rex.

Why were people put on the Earth?

Well, God probably didn't have anything to do so he thought up us.

What made him think up us, though, do you think?

Well... Um...

He probably didn't know why he was there

so he thought he would make little miniatures of himself

and put them on this little part which is spinning away from the sun.

Why do think people follow Satan?

Well, because he says he will make the world greater than Jesus

and Jehovah can.

And when people believe Satan, what happens to them?

What becomes of them?

Well, they become bad.

How do they become bad?

-Well, instead of having light, they have darkness.

-Hmm.

And they have these ulcers on their feet and even though they do

want to be in the light, they won't come out of the darkness.

-What do they have on their feet?

-Big ulcers.

How do they get those?

Well, because they're bad.

Do you think life is worthwhile?

No, because I've got a brother, a naughty brother!

-What is wrong with your brother?

-He's always hitting me.

Does it spoil your life?

Because when I want to do my work, he keeps on messing it up.

What do you think of the world as it is now?

A nice, wonderful, lovely place,

with lovely flowers and lovely things in it.

-Isn't there anything nasty about it?

-No, not about the world.

There is with people, though.

How would you describe the people that there are in the world now?

I don't know.

Most of them are nice but some of them are a bit of an old bag!

-What do you mean?

-Well, they've got bad tempers.

My dad, I think, is one of them.

Do you think most people are happy or unhappy?

-Yeah, I reckon they are happy.

-I think they're unhappy.

You don't agree with each other? Why not? Why do you think they're happy?

Well, some people enjoy life, you know, going places.

Yeah, but there's earthquakes and they lose their mothers

and all that.

-Well...

-Well, that's an awful life, innit?

-What is the best thing you want to do with your life?

-Get married.

Have ten children, all in five twins. Girl, boy, girl, boy,

girl, boy, and so on, like that!

-Will it happen, do you think?

-I hope so.