Toy Soldiers My Life

He's a bomb disposal expert and he disposes of bombs.

On Remembrance Day, you remember all the soldiers that died

and my dad won't die.

What happened was, he was disarming a bomb

and then the bomb actually went off.

Taya is six and lives on an army base.

Her dad is a soldier serving overseas.

Ergh! Gross!

She's looking forward to Halloween, but always thinks about Dad,

who will be home in a few weeks' time.

-Can you take a picture of it for Daddy?

-OK.

Looks good. I think that's the best one.

Taya makes sure Dad doesn't miss anything

by sending him photos and drawings.

This is, erm... This is my dad,

and this is my uncle. My uncle's a bit shorter than my dad.

And they've got different colour belts and they both wear green.

Taya misses her dad and her uncle, who are both abroad in the army.

Taya's dad is 25 and is an engineer, which means as well as duties

as a soldier, he helps build bridges and roads.

He trained as an electrician.

Being a soldier is really good,

because you go on, like, all courses and get fit and stuff.

My uncle was right after my dad.

He joined after, but my dad is further than him,

because he joined first.

And they're playing a game of shoot bullets.

And this says, "Dad and my Uncle Ryan."

Taya understands what it means to be in the army and the sacrifices

you have to make.

Well, being in the army, you really, like, help people build bridges

and build walls and stuff.

But you can't see your wife for the whole day,

or perhaps for a long time. For me, it's really sad,

because I miss my dad.

But...

he's going to be back soon. Five weeks.

There are over 175,000 children whose mums and dads work

as part of the armed services -

the army, the navy and the air force.

Callum lives with his two sisters in Portsmouth.

His dad is a navy diver, dealing with underwater explosives,

but now clears bombs in Afghanistan.

He's a bomb disposal expert

and he disposes of bombs, like, with his metal detector.

They detect them and look for people who have been digging.

He uses a robot and they dispose of it.

Callum's parents are divorced,

so Callum is the man of the house and is a big support to his mum.

Do you want to get the milk out and some drinks?

Callum misses his dad and saves all the pictures that he sends him.

He's managed to get a first-hand view of his working day.

That's my dad and he's disposing of a bomb by cutting wires and stuff.

He's got chest armour and then he's got some thick shoes,

gloves and a hat.

Callum is keen on sports and has recently taken up fencing.

He thinks the protective wear is similar

to Dad's bomb disposal uniform.

It's all thick clothing, so it doesn't hurt you, if you get hit.

The helmet's hard, like his helmet is.

And he's got a glove.

So when you have this outfit on, do you think you feel

a bit like the way Dad feels when he's in the desert?

Yeah, because it makes you hot and you start sweating after a while.

Callum's dad comes home to Portsmouth to see him

as often as he can.

When he's abroad, he writes up to four times a week.

Just down on there will do.

For children whose dads don't come back,

dealing with life without a parent can be a long, hard struggle.

Aiden lives here with his mum and brother Ben.

Ooh, big strong boy!

-I want to tell Mummy.

-What?

-Ow. Do you want one?

-Yeah!

'I'm Aiden and I'm ten.

'My baby brother lives in a house with me and my mum.'

-Do you want the bits in it?

-Yeah.

'Ben is sometimes argumental.'

Other times playful.

'And other times sad.'

Choo-choo!

'It's sometimes good to have a baby brother,

'because he can sometimes make you...'

..cry.

What do you want to do, Ben?

-Do you want to cuddle Aiden?

-Yeah.

Two years ago, Aiden's life changed for ever,

when he got the news about Dad no family ever wants to hear.

Can I have a kissy?

'Well, my mum was crying and then I was crying,'

not as much as her. Then when my nan walked through the door.

She was shocked, so she just shouted, "He's dead!"

I was crying, so then I went over to my friend's, Hannah's,

over the road, opposite us, but now she's moved for quite a long time.

And then, and then...

Yeah, so...

It was quite a sad day.

'What happened was, he was disarming a bomb'

and then the bomb actually went off.

It's very, very sad.

He tried to do his best and he loved his job,

and then he tried to do it, but in the end he couldn't, so...

It just went too fast for him.

For Callum and Jade, the half-term is a good time to have

some family days out, whatever the weather.

Dad might not be around for these days out,

but Callum and sister Jade do keep in touch

and, using a unique post system for service families,

make sure he's kept up-to-date on everything.

For all the children, staying in touch is vital.

There are these Blueys that you get from the Post Office, they're free,

and you write in them, but you can't put anything in there,

you just have to write and then send it off to his address.

You've got three sections to write on,

and on the back, you write their name, where they are,

so that will be Camp Bastion and it's delivered by air.

I think it's photocopied, so it's not handwritten.

And...then you...

close it and put it in the normal postbox.

I'd write what I'd been doing for the week,

cos I normally did one every week, and, um...

what he's been doing.

It's not as easy for Dad to make contact

as it is for Callum and Jade.

He has limited access to e-mails.

There's e-mail, sort of...

that you can send him stuff, but he doesn't go on there that much.

They've got a phone, you can phone people, but it never works.

I don't know about a mobile. I think there's no signal there.

Taya makes sure she keeps in touch any way she can.

Dad has been away for four of the last ten months.

Sometimes, he comes in on the computer.

Sometimes he texts us, and sometimes he calls us,

so...that's how we stay in touch.

We send a picture of me in a Halloween costume,

and the pumpkin that we did earlier.

So...that's what we do.

Although Callum keeps in touch, via the internet and Dad's photos,

Jade worries when he is away.

She says she doesn't really talk to you much about it.

-Why do you think that is?

-I don't know.

She's like...um...I don't know.

She's quite quiet, isn't she?

Yeah. Keeps stuff to herself.

So do you worry about the kind of work that Dad does?

Hmm...a little bit.

Tell me what kind of worries you have.

Um...

he might die.

Do you worry about Dad when he's doing that sort of thing?

No, not really, because he's not on the front line.

He's, like, back, cos he disposes of bombs,

so he's not in contact that much with them.

Callum is reassured by Dad's photos and, like all the children,

he uses pictures to help imagine what it must be like

in the heat of the desert.

That's my dad and he's disposing of a bomb

and he's got a metal detector,

which I think he uses to find a bomb in the sand.

This one is... That's Dad.

And then that's a dog and he barks to say that there's a bomb there.

For Taya, writing letters and making drawings

helps her feel closer to Dad.

She tries to send something every day.

"You are my best dad,

"cos you're my...

"Royal Engineer."

"To Daddy, sorry I upset you. Love, Taya."

And then on the back, there's a nice picture.

Had you been a naughty girl when you wrote that one?

Um...yeah. I sometimes get sent to my room.

Aiden looked forward to Dad coming home.

He enjoyed days out and playing football in the garden.

When it was close to him coming back, like,

40 or 50 days, or more,

I would draw a chart and cross out the days as they went by.

And then I would make a cake for him for when he came back.

And then I would want to organise a party.

Yeah.

Sometimes Dad would be away for so long

that he looked different when he came home.

I didn't recognise him, cos he had a big moustache

and my mum and me were just sitting there laughing.

She wouldn't kiss him and then I went up and kissed him

and it felt really hairy.

Then me, Ben and Dad had a photo.

But there can also be surprises for the dads when they come home.

Taya has lost a tooth.

It came out, but it came out in...

It came out in my mouth.

-Was it loose anyway?

-Mmm.

And everyone was screaming and I was trying not to swallow it.

I've got my tooth that came out...

..there.

Really a wiggly, wobbly one.

-There it is.

-Wow. This isn't part of your Halloween costume, is it?

No.

And what else is in the bag? Because you've got a treat there.

She left a pound and it's still in there.

So are you going to look after your teeth

-when the new ones come in?

-Yeah.

How long has it been now that Dad's not been here?

Um... It's been two years and...

five days.

Aiden still remembers Dad, but in a different way.

We don't celebrate his birthday too much.

We just write him letters

and then we put them by his ashes...

when he was meant to come back.

Yeah.

Dad was only 40 when he died and Ben was just a baby.

He understands that he isn't coming back.

He understands that...

it's good to just cry and that.

-Do you worry about Ben being sad when he grows up?

-Yeah.

Cos, then, if he wants to join a football team,

if at weekends he wants to practise,

and I've moved out of the house and I live somewhere else,

he won't have anywhere to...

he won't have anyone to train him.

When it first happened, did you ever think you'd feel OK again?

No.

I felt like I'd be sad for the rest of my life.

Yeah.

There's Daddy and Mummy.

I'm in a tank.

Oh, wow, that's you in a tank? Show me that again.

How unusual. How many little girls get to go in a tank?

And you're driving it, as well!

SHE GIGGLES

When I did that, I would not let go of my uncle.

I was crying and crying, cos I didn't want him to be in the army.

He was in training. I was crying and crying,

they had to pull me away from him. I didn't want to get away.

Taya is already thinking about a job in the future

that can keep her closer to Dad.

Can't choose. I love my dad so much.

And I like animals so much, too.

Well, being a vet in the army, cos you can...

They can have vet people that are in the army.

My dad saw a cat

and it was running through the desert, so, like,

a vet, they need a vet.

So I'm thinking about being a vet.

-Green face?

-Yeah.

But while Dad's away, Taya gets on with her life

and is looking forward to Halloween.

'Tell me what's special about today and why it's a bit spooky.'

'Halloween! Well,'

you act different, because it's Halloween,

you act scary. If you were a witch, like I am,

-you'd act like a witch.

-How are you going to look like a witch?

Well, you can try and make... paint some blood

and the fake nails and the fake eyelashes.

But what if Mum's scared? Mum might see you and think, "Oooh!"

I'd go, "Mum, it's me, Taya."

If she doesn't know - well, what are we going to do?

Taya is not the only one having a day out.

Aiden's having a day out in London.

He's not alone having lost his dad.

This event is organised by the Forces Children's Trust,

who help children that have lost a parent

while serving with the Armed Forces.

There was a surprise in store.

Mum and Aiden got to meet a very special guest.

We met the Prime Minister.

We have. They were just going to catch him on the way out to the car

after Question Time, but he wanted us all to go to his office.

So we went up to his office.

We've seen that many people, it's been brilliant.

What do you think of meeting the Prime Minister?

It was wicked.

When soldiers go to war there are big risks,

but their sacrifice is always remembered.

During his 17 years of service,

Aiden's dad received medals from the Queen.

But after he died,

Aiden and Mum went to Buckingham Palace to collect another.

'The first time, when I went with my dad'

it was really cool.

But we were on the edge. We were quite far away.

Then the next time, we were in a private place

and then she gave my mum the George Medal bar.

And then, I shook her hand.

Aiden also has his own personal reminders of Dad.

My dad brought me this

back from Afghan.

What does it say on it?

It says Aiden on it.

It says my name.

-So you always have that, as something to remember?

-Yeah.

But this year, Aiden will be remembering his dad

in a much more public way.

He will attend Remembrance Day

and join other soldiers and relatives in London.

Aiden and his mum will head one of the marches.

It's a doggy.

There's the doggy's shadow.

There's Daddy driving a jeep.

There's a helicopter.

And there's a road.

There's some mountains, with some snow on the top.

Sometimes it's hard for Aiden's friends

to understand what he's going through.

They feel sorry for me

but sometimes they don't really get how I feel.

They don't understand how I feel when I'm upset.

And then they don't feel how I feel when I'm just acting normal.

They don't get me sometimes.

Sometimes they feel awkward about asking,

but then most of time they're like, "What's wrong? Are you OK?"

Yeah.

'It shows they do care about me.'

Yeah.

Music was a big part of Dad's life.

And Aiden has taken up Dad's guitar.

'I think I take it off my dad because he was musical.'

Every day, he came back when he was here for his R&R

and when he was off duty,

'he would play the guitar and sing along to it.'

Did you have a favourite song?

I liked all of them.

Yeah.

Aiden's learnt a lot over the last two years

and can offer advice to other children in the same position.

If you need to cry just cry, cos everybody will understand.

Just let your feelings out. Yeah.

How's today been?

It's been a happy day.

Every year, Remembrance Day gives families and friends of soldiers

the chance to remember them

and let the world know about their sacrifice.

The Cenotaph service has been a major event for the last 90 years.

I'm joined here by Toni O'Donnell,

whose husband, Warrant Officer Gary O'Donnell,

was killed just two years ago in Afghanistan in Helmand.

He diffused more than 50 bombs, didn't he, in his time?

Yeah, he was very busy over there.

On his second tour, he was extremely busy, yeah.

How important are days like this for families to see, I suppose,

the mark of respect that the public are giving

and the memories the public are giving?

It's overwhelming, really, to see everybody out watching the parade,

being a part of the parade. It makes you very proud.

And he was awarded the George Medal, wasn't he, not just once, but twice?

The first time in 26 years that somebody was given that.

You're wearing them. This is your son, Aiden. Which one is it?

-It's this one.

-That one there.

That is the George Medal, with the bar across the top,

meaning that he was awarded it twice.

And it's very important as well for you to be here today? Tell me why.

It gives me a chance to show how proud I am of my dad.

I bet he would have been very proud of you, to see you here today.

NEWSREADER: Toni O'Donnell, who we heard from

a moment ago, and her son.

Aiden marching very proud at the front.

APPLAUSE

Taya is still waiting for Dad

and hopes to see him in a couple of weeks, when he comes home.

This is me and Dad on another walk.

And I like the colours. That's me and Daddy.

This is Daddy, what he sleeps in.

Daddy's just opening his eyes, just cos he had a bad dream,

and he's dozing off again.

This is me and Daddy.

When we go for a walk, we sometimes go through fields.

I like this picture a lot.

Oh, I've found some binoculars. Now I can see closer.

Taya is aware that Dad's job brings its own risks.

She knows that sometimes soldiers sacrifice their lives

and it is important to remember them.

Well, I understand that, on Remembrance Day,

you remember all the soldiers that died

and my dad won't die.

He says all the time he would not die.

Cos I always worry.

And then Mummy tells him when he comes back home from work each day,

and he says, "Don't worry about me.

"I'll be fine."

But I don't really believe him.

What I see in the news is, like, every single day a soldier dies.

And I just hope it's not my dad.

Cos I love my dad.

Finally, after months of waiting,

Taya's dad is coming home.

Whee! Merry Christmas.

TAYA CHUCKLES

This is a Christmas that she will never forget.

Rollerblades!

How excited would you say you were, on a scale of one to ten, that Daddy's back?

Hmm...ten! No, 100!