My Life Without Hair My Life

My head feels really itchy.

You don't need it,

so, it doesn't really matter whether you've got it or not.

Just completely fell out when I was about nine.

You can change your hairstyle all the time.

People might think you're different, but you're not.

13-year-old Kim and eight-year-old Dan have never met.

But, they have something unusual in common.

This summer, they'll meet for the first time,

along with lots of other kids just like them,

at a very special weekend camp.

When I meet people,

I don't know whether to tell them about my hair.

I don't know whether it'll make things more awkward.

Some of my friends at school still don't even know.

It's shocking.

I come into school nearly every day with a different hairstyle

and they still don't realise.

Kim has alopecia.

Alopecia is when your hair falls out.

It might just be a small patch that goes,

or every last little hair on your body.

It doesn't happen a lot to children, but it's hard when it does.

And rather than being seen without their hair,

many prefer to wear wigs.

That was the first day that it started falling out

and it's already come out in a big patch.

But quite a lot of it has come out at the front now.

This is how quick it goes, like, one second.

Some people actually lose it all overnight,

but mine just comes out in stages.

It's usually when I wake up in the morning

and half of it's on my pillow.

That's when my eyebrows started to go,

so, I've got no eyebrows left at that point.

At least when your hair falls out you can cover it up,

but with my eyebrows falling out, I try and draw them on

and they just look so stupid.

Doctors aren't sure why hair falls out like this,

and Kim's type of alopecia means that her hair keeps growing back,

and then falling out again.

That's where it has spread all the way back there

and there's just no hairline at all.

You're constantly up and down thinking it's going to grow back

and then it's not.

She's not comfortable with anybody outside the family

seeing her without wigs on.

She never goes out without a wig on.

Even if friends come round,

she doesn't take the wigs off in front of her friends.

It would be very hard. I probably wouldn't do it.

Even if someone paid me about ten grand, I still wouldn't do it.

It's hard coping with your hair falling out

when you feel you're the only one

and no one understands what you're going through.

But this summer, at alopecia camp,

Kim will meet other girls just like her.

I think going to camp will really help,

because I don't know how to look on the positive side of stuff.

If they've had it for a lot more years than me, then they'll know

how to deal with it and I'll take a lot of advice from them.

When she was younger, Kim used to be much more out-going.

She even had a successful acting career.

Cute face as well, ah, look.

Ahh, very good.

She was so confident when she did that for a 10-year-old.

It was unbelievable how, you know, outgoing and bubbly she was.

These last three or four months in particular,

she's not wanted to go out on her own.

I think if she's like that, it's obviously going to affect her.

Yeah, I think I've changed quite a bit since I did Hollyoaks,

cos my confidence level has dropped.

Those low confidence levels aren't helped by having to wear wigs

that mean she can't have hair styles like her mates.

When you see all the girls walking round with high buns

and high ponies and stuff, which is the fashion and stuff,

you're there with your hair down 'cos you can't do any of that,

it kind of makes you stand out a bit in a way.

You're not a different person without a wig than you are with.

It's just, you look different.

I like wearing wigs just to have hair,

but then I'd rather show everyone that I am bald,

that's just who I am.

Once, where I had my first wig, the synthetic one,

in year three, it like, blew off.

My name is Daniel Parkes and welcome to my house.

Eight-year-old Daniel is a professional stuntman

and world heavyweight boxing champion.

Start like this, and like...oops. Let me do that again.

And, yes, he has no hair.

Guess who this is?

It's Dan when he was younger, when he still had his hair.

But then something sad happened that had a big impact on him.

Granddad died because he had the belly ache.

When I first saw...

When my mum told me, I was crying, bursting into tears.

And what happened to Dan's hair after that was pretty unexpected.

It fell off.

I didn't like it.

-Ready?

-Set, go!

It doesn't happen to many people,

but the stress of losing his grandad

might have been why Dan lost all his hair.

And Dan's kind of alopecia,

means that his hair fell out and never came back.

To and from school he always wears his hat.

Obviously, because he's got no hair, he feels the cold

and obviously he's got no hair, the sun gets him.

Dan likes school, but he doesn't like the name calling.

The bullies say, "baldilocks and the three hairs."

They say, "baldy" and "baldilocks."

Even though Dan's usually a happy chappy,

nasty names make him feel...

Sad and upset.

In the last few weeks, Kim's missed a whole heap of school.

I wake up sometimes and I just feel like, erm...

like I don't want to face it.

There was comments when I started in year seven,

there was quite a lot of teasing.

Because there was people saying like I don't fit in

and I don't belong at school cos I'm different.

I'd like to be able to just think,

it's going to be fine, give it a go and if something does go wrong,

you've got to the support of everyone just to carry on

and just get better about it.

The journey in on the bus was becoming a bit traumatic.

You'd had a couple of incidents where children made remarks.

She feels more comfortable going in with me in the mornings now.

Not going on the bus means Kim arrives alone.

So, last lesson, we started off with our lunar theme park.

Have a really quick look through.

And whilst her friends are in lessons together,

she's often working on her own, too.

I think it's because if something's happened in a lesson,

and I want to be on my own to do my work.

If something goes wrong in the lesson I don't want to be there,

and it's putting me off my work and stuff.

In some ways, girls want something positive, to be, like, looked at.

But, they don't really want something really negative,

to get all the attention and stuff.

And I feel like that as well.

I feel like I'm getting looked at because it's something wrong with me.

That it's something that's not a good thing, it's a bad thing.

Some days, she's feeling so low,

she convinces her mum she can't go into school at all.

I just say that I don't want to go in

and then we'd have a conversation about why.

She doesn't force me to do anything,

she just lets me do what I'm comfortable with doing.

Dan and Callum have been best mates since, well, forever.

In my heart, he's like a brother,

because I play with him all the time.

He's my best mate and he will...

if somebody blames me in the class,

he always sticks up for me and I stick up for him too.

Today, though, they've had some bad news.

I'm going to be in Miss Thomas' class

and he's going to be in...

I'm in year four and he is, but he's in a different class than me.

It's going to be hard for Dan without the support

of his best friend in class, and his mum's hoping camp will help.

I hope the camp can keep the confidence up,

so when he does go back to school,

he can fight back at any bullies.

Not physically, but give them

as good as they get verbally.

So he can turn round and say, "so what?"

School is over, the summer holidays have started

and it's the day before camp.

Are you getting in there?

Looks like we're taking him, Kim.

SHE LAUGHS >

He's going!

Howdy!

There's a cowboy theme

and Dan is desperate to be the best dressed doggone, rootin'-tootin'

rockin'-horse wrangler there.

Yee-haa!

"I can't wait to see my beautiful and wonderful friends today

"at the Be Bold Children's Alopecia Camp.

"Watch this space for photos and updates! Yee-haa!"

Over at the campsite in Scarborough, all is quiet on the western front.

But not for long.

I'm really excited.

The weekend will be more jam-packed than a pack of jam jars

jammed in your jim-jams.

Also, it's a great chance for people with alopecia

and their families to get together.

It's really nice, like, making new friends that have, like...

That are in the same situation as you are.

No-one stares. It's like everyone's used to it.

It's like, a dead relaxing place to be

and you can meet other people with alopecia.

You can always turn to someone who has it

and then they'll understand what it's like.

Some of them met at camp last year, but its Kim's first time

and, for now, she's keeping her distance.

Dan's not wasting any time.

OK, I'll serve, you served the first.

Will lost his hair two years ago

and Dan is the only other bald boy he's ever seen.

He's exactly like me, no hair at all, completely bald.

And Dan, he's cheerful, he's just, you can't stop him laughing.

One thing that we haven't talked about is having alopecia.

That's one thing that we don't really, we haven't talked about.

Everyone knows that the one thing all real cowboys love

is a toasted marshmallow.

Have my stick and have the rest of the marshmallows.

Even Kim's come down to earth to join them around the campfire.

Your tipi's right next to my tipi.

Mummy, are we having a fire before breakfast tomorrow?

It's the start of another fun-filled day at summer camp.

Cowboy Dan's up early to round up some more friends to play with.

Last year when we come to camp

and he found out he wasn't the only one,

that's when everything completely flipped over and changed for him.

Last thing I want is for him to go in his shell,

and these camps just keep, you know, bringing them out.

Is that your breakfast, a stick of rock?

I just had mine, sausages.

I think with more children here now,

it's building a support system for the kids, they're not on their own.

If Kim's going to tap into that support system

and get the most out of being here,

she's going to need to come down from that tree and get stuck in.

Michelle's had alopecia for most of her life.

She knows what it's like to desperately want to fit in.

If you haven't got hair, you just feel like you're...

a non-person sometimes.

And that's a real tough one for anyone to have to deal with

that's got anything different about them.

Worst thing is losing your eyelashes.

That, to me, was always the final straw.

It feels like you're being rubbed out.

Feels like they're rubbing bits of your body out,

and you can't do anything about it.

You basically live within this bubble of alopecia.

It's breaking that bubble

and realising that you can't put your life on hold because of that.

And it took me a long time to say, you know what, I am who I am

and if you don't like it, that's not my problem, it's yours.

Kim, Gemma, Gemma, Kim.

Michelle knows Kim's been feeling down,

and wants her to get the most out of her time here.

-I met Gemma, first time last year, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

-And that was quite nice, wasn't it?

-Yeah.

And had you met anyone else with alopecia before?

No.

Gemma's 12 and last year's camp gave her a big boost.

Michelle's hoping that Kim will learn from her and the other girls

how to handle the emotional ups and downs.

THEY LAUGH

-So, have you not been wearing wigs at all then?

-I do.

-You do, but you just didn't feel like it this weekend?

-Yep.

Well, you've got a great-shaped head.

Gemma lost her hair for the first time when she was five.

I do feel just as normal as everybody else seems to be.

I am quite confident

and I do do normal things that girls would want to do.

I don't think I have to wear a wig all the time

because I don't really mind who sees me.

I think it's really important to feel really confident

and to feel like you're looking good,

or looking beautiful, cos it just boosts your confidence.

Even though Gemma is happy to be seen without a wig

she also sees an upside to wearing them, too.

I feel like I've got another personality,

cos every wig is different.

In the morning it is faster,

it's easier to style, put it back in a pony tail or put it up.

When I was younger, I used to be really sad about not having any hair

and when people asked me questions, I used to take it really personally.

I don't mind my hair falling out,

it's when my eyebrows come out, that really upsets me.

It's bad having, not having eyebrows and eyelashes

because they kind of make your face, if you get me.

Everyone will stare at you,

but if you're brave, then you can just ignore all of that.

The last day of camp and a mobile beauty parlour has arrived.

And these girls reckon they have something in common with

a few of their favourite singers.

Beyonce wears wigs as well, and so does J-Lo.

Even Kim can't resist -

she's keen to find out how to draw in her eyebrows when she loses them.

I've tried drawing my eyebrows on as well,

but I've just miserably failed!

I can't, I can't do it,

so I'm hoping that I'll get in some tips

on how to successfully draw your eyebrows on

and what colour to use and stuff

and what colour would match your skin tone and things.

-Kim, what you having done?

-What?

-What you having done?

My eyebrows.

See, I've got one eyebrow, I've got one, but the other one I can't do.

If adults' eyebrows drop out, they can have them tattooed back on.

But this isn't a good idea for children.

So the beauticians here use powders

made especially for people who've lost their eyebrows.

The colours match different skin tones

and the powders are waterproof - they won't just rub off.

You can start it slightly more,

we can always start it a little bit further in, take it out.

If you look at just the brow, you're going to pick faults.

But if you look at you as a whole, it's just defined your face.

-What do you think of that colour?

-Yeah, it's nice.

So, you got any plans for tomorrow?

I'm staying for the next whole day.

Dan's now happy with or without a hat,

but William isn't - he's always in a baseball cap.

He's finding it harder than Dan to accept life without hair.

His new friend's ready with some top tips

for handling nasty comments at school.

Hey, William, I'll tell you a little secret.

Once, when people call me baldy, guess what I call them back?

What?

Hairy.

I just call them Hairy Mary quite condary.

William's got some advice of his own on how to cope in a new class.

Well, I was in exactly the same situation

and what you have to do is, you have to, I am not kidding,

it seems so nervous, but everyone is in the same situation,

everyone's nervous and then you, you, you quickly make new friends.

I'd have to keep in touch with Dan, definitely keep in touch.

-cos you are the happiest person on earth.

-Thanks, mate.

It's the last night of camp and everyone's dressed up

and ready for one almighty hoedown.

Yee-haa!

Seeing people like Beth and Michelle,

it didn't like, hit me straight away, I think it took a lot of time

to think about it and how they, like, get on with it and stuff.

I just didn't want to like, go out without my wig on and stuff,

but then I saw them, how they handle it, and they just don't care,

so I think it kind of sank in that, "Yeah, I could do that as well".

-Morning, William.

-Morning.

-You look nice today.

-Thanks.

This is, this is my email.

It's been another brilliant summer camp,

with loads of new friendships being made.

But has it been a big success for Kim and Dan?

-Bye, Kim.

-You going? Oh... See you later.

How will they handle life back at home on their own?

You have to be proud of yourself,

otherwise you're not going to get anywhere.

I went into school without my wig and that was the first time

I ever showed anybody it.

If people bully you, you just have to stand up and ignore them.

Don't take anything too personally,

just if, people are just curious when they ask questions.

When we first met Kim, she was in a bad place

and often couldn't cope with school.

I wake up sometimes and I just feel like, erm,

like I don't want to face it.

It's now a few weeks into the new term that she was dreading,

and Kim's surprising herself.

You can take it home for a bit of homework.

I'll lose it.

I'll give you half an hour Friday.

-Put it in your bag, then you won't lose it!

-I will.

She's going into school every day

and attending every one of her lessons, WITH her friends.

I just, I'm feeling like I'm pushing myself a lot more now,

um, cos I think last time I was just being a bit wimpy

and just kind of like, taking the easy option and stuff.

And this time I'm, like, really trying to make an effort

to not let things like, um...

upset me and stuff.

No, I spelt join wrong, I spelt join with a "g"!

I feel proud of myself, like when I have had a tough day

and it's started off, like, really bad,

but then I kind of like pick myself up and I get proud of myself again.

I just feel like I'm an ordinary school child now,

I don't, I just don't care.

At home, there's big changes too.

Her best mate is allowed to film Kim

doing something she'd wouldn't haven't wanted seen before.

-Are you recording?

-Mm-hm.

-Hello.

So, have you got used to applying eyebrows now as well?

Yeah, I did it yesterday, I was like, "I can do it!"

See, that one's thinner than that one now.

So, I can use that as a template and just make it thicker.

Before summer, Kim's confidence was so low,

not even a humongous wodge of cash would persuade her

to be seen without her wig.

It would be very hard. Um, I probably wouldn't do it.

Even if someone paid me about ten grand, I still wouldn't do it.

Want to zoom in?

I started to lose that bit there

and as you can see it's spread everywhere now.

But I dyed my hair pink,

cos it will not affect whether it falls out or not anyway.

Cos at t' end of day it's going to.

Yeah, it started to fall out while it wasn't dyed,

so the dying doesn't really make a bit of difference, to be honest.

If I hadn't have gone to camp,

I wouldn't be comfortable standing here on film without my wig on.

Just shows what a difference it makes.

So has the camp really affected your confidence, then?

I think the camp has helped quite a lot.

Right, what we're going to do now,

is we're going to sort through my wigs that I do want

and wigs that I don't.

This one was originally down to here.

This is the one that I spent most of my time in at camp.

This is one I got yesterday off the market stall for, again, £15.

Bop! Ooh, pulled half of it out trying to get it off.

So that's that one.

I gave you three ticks, write a little message, add an A.

In Birmingham, Dan's doing well, too,

in his new class, with his new friends.

Did you write that? I'm going to take that home with me.

In fact, he's doing so well, he's got a surprise for them all.

In my classmates, what's happening this afternoon,

I'm going to do a little speech.

I'm not even going to tell you about the speech,

I'm going to do it there,

I don't want to spoil it for you.

Before camp, there's no way he would have stood up in front of a class

and done a talk about anything,

but now, you know, he's proud to have no hair.

As you know, my name is Daniel Parkes

and I have a condition called alopecia.

And people keeps on saying, "What's alopecia?".

All your hair comes out.

I had mine out two years ago because I was stressed

because my grandad died.

Even women and men can have alopecia

and boys and girls.

Sometimes, people say that I have cancer, and I don't.

APPLAUSE

Thank you, any question?

Leyton?

How long did it take for your hair to come out?

Um, a long time, but we went to the barber's to cut the rest off.

Mark?

Um, will you hair ever grow back?

I don't know. Lashay?

Did you have a lot of friends at camp?

Yeah, I loved it, and we had lovely, lovely time.

Thank you, friends, for listening.

APPLAUSE

Can somebody get my mum a tissue? She's crying!

Finally, Kim is moving on.

She used to be too scared to go out with her friends.

Cos of the position I was in, I was really paranoid

and I wasn't thinking straight.

And every person that like, looked at me,

I thought they were looking at me in a bad way.

But now I know if they're looking at me, it's not anything bad,

I think I've realised that now.

I think now I'm going to know that I can push her a bit harder

than I have done in the past.

I know now that maybe she can handle it better than I thought she could.

And handling it better means that Kim's not afraid to stand out.

Can I get the, um, the bottom drawer, the purple stockings.

Purple?

She's got choices, wear a wig, or don't.

Or even wear one with bright blue streaks.

I can go out with my friends and do stuff and kind of, like,

draw attention to myself.

Like, we can go and roller-skate and stuff.

Cos before, I wouldn't roller-skate

because people would be like, taking the mick out of us

and I thought would it be about my hair?

But now I just, we just go out and just do like really stupid stuff,

just I'm like, I've got loads of my confidence back now.

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