I Am Leo My Life

Hiya, I'm Leo, and I want to do this documentary to show

that my life isn't that different to yours.

I live with my sister Daisy.

He sometimes can be a good brother but other times he can be annoying.

And with my mum.

He's great fun to do anything with. He's also quite temperamental.

What?

He's just like any other teenager, really.

But there's something about me

that means I haven't always been accepted as Leo.

In most ways I'm like an average 13-year-old boy

apart from I was born in a girl's body.

Although people saw me as girl, I always knew I was really a boy.

This isn't actually me, it feels like it's just a different person.

Lots of people don't understand

and think I'm too young to know who I really am.

I just want people to finally see me the way I see myself - as Leo.

To be accepted is like the best feeling in the world.

This is how I live my life as a boy.

Do you think that looks too much, Mum?

Do you remember any of your girly clothes?

No. Wearing a dress and having long hair didn't feel right.

I used to try and convince you it looked so nice!

THEY LAUGH

When I was born, I was born in a female body

and christened a girl called Lily.

Even though I was still a girl, I never felt like a girl.

I always thought there was something different about me.

-When I was Lily I had to have long hair, didn't I, for a while?

-Yeah.

I used to love doing Lily's hair, putting it in little bunches.

But I HATED looking like a girl, so one night

when I was only five years old, I cut my own hair short.

Oh, I'll never forget that night you came through to the kitchen,

half of it cut off.

It wasn't long before I gave in and cut it all off, though.

Look sweet?

That's good.

Tip it in, then?

Yep.

When I was, like, young, I always thought I was a boy

but didn't really know how to explain it.

I believed I just had a tomboy.

Lily loved all the boys' toys, probably more so actually than boys.

It was really, really confusing because I always thought,

you know, I'm a boy, but everyone was like, look, you're a girl.

You're not a boy.

By the time I was nine, I didn't understand why other people

couldn't see I was really a boy, and it used to make me very angry.

He'd been getting upset a lot about things that were going on at school

and the fights he was getting into, and one day he just shouted at me.

I went, "Look, you're not taking me seriously. Look, I am a boy."

That's when Mum and I started

looking on the internet to find out more.

Gender to me is what you feel inside, not what you were born with,

like, what you are on the outside.

It's what you are on the inside.

Our bodies are full of chemicals called hormones.

There are some hormones for boys

and other hormones for girls.

Most people's hormones,

brains and bodies all match, so they know they are definitely a girl

or a boy, but some people feel they've been born in the wrong body.

It's not very common but I now know there are thousands of people

in the UK who are just like me and we are called transgender.

So if you feel like you're a boy

but you're trapped in a girl's body, then you're a boy,

and if you feel like a girl

but you're trapped in a boy's body, you are a girl.

So although I have a girl's body, I know inside I am a boy.

When I was younger, I just seemed to confuse everyone,

but my mum tried really hard to understand.

It was really a big thing to get my head round.

I mean, I could accept my child, whoever he or she was.

'I reckon if she hadn't accepted me, it would have been a lot harder.'

To be accepted is the best feeling in the world.

Well, obviously I loved the name Lily and I still do

but...it doesn't suit Leo, does it?

SHE LAUGHS

I like the name Leo because, I don't know, it feels like me.

'I decided I wanted to be called Leo when I was still in primary school

'and my mum found out we could

'legally change my name by deed poll.

'Instead of being Miss Lily he would now be Master Leo'

and I organised all that so that it all arrived on his 11th birthday.

When I got my name changed and the letter, I come home and opened it

and I started crying because I was really happy...

and it was really unexpected so...

That was a lovely day.

I could just eat that.

No.

It was very hard because I had to say goodbye to Lily in the end

and let her go

and then welcome in Leo.

My mum has always supported me.

I've always felt like I can talk to my mum.

-About anything?

-Yeah.

Can I lick the bowl?

This is Jack. He's one of my best mates.

Go on, run! Run!

I am running!

What do you think about me being transgender?

I'll support you, like, whatever you want to do, like.

In my eyes, he's a boy, like, just one of my best mates.

'But not everyone sees me the way Jack does.'

I was walking down the road with one of my best friends

and this boy behind me was going, "Lily, Lily, Lily,"

and I know I'm over it, I'm past it, it's Leo.

I am Leo, I am a boy, it's just that when people say it,

it still kind of brings back the memories from the past

and all of the bad stuff that happened to me when I was younger,

just all brought back to your mind and it's not very nice.

And although my mum has changed my name by deed poll,

my passport still says I'm a girl.

Here I have my old passport, which still has "Lily" on it

and "female", and a really horrible picture.

This kind of makes me feel like this isn't actually me.

That isn't who I identify as.

It feels like it's just another person.

I drew on this passport with whiteboard marker. I drew spiky hair

on the picture so it looked like I had boy's hair,

I wrote "Leo" on instead of "Lily" in the name bit

and then I wrote "male" in the little gender bit.

I done that because I just wanted to correct the passport

so it was right to how I feel.

But all it takes is one wipe to make it wrong again.

When someone calls me she, I get really upset,

because it reminds me of my past

and the person who I was never, like Lily and a little girl.

If my passport could permanently say that I am Leo and male,

then I will finally feel accepted for who I am.

So my mum and dad are helping me apply for a brand-new passport.

Got the letter from Dad,

the letter he needed to write

to give permission for you to get your passport.

"This letter is to confirm that I am Leo's father

"and I give my permission for him to apply for his passport."

This is another step to getting it,

so hopefully I'll get my new passport soon.

'I really hope the Passport Office agrees.'

Now I'm at High School, most people treat me like a boy.

My name is Leo in the register

and on sports day, I take part in the boys' events.

But at primary school, people found it

really difficult to understand that I was born in the wrong body.

They wouldn't allow me to be the person who I am.

It made me feel really, really low and I felt so lonely

because no-one else was going through the same as what I was.

The school I'm at now is great, but I don't think my primary school

knew how to cope with a transgender student like me.

I think that they believed that I was making him

be the way he was, which was so far from the truth.

Every single day, he would come home from school sobbing,

begging me not to send him back there.

Things got so bad with the school

and we didn't seem to be getting anywhere.

One of my older daughters found a group called Press for Change

and within a day of them speaking to the school, everything changed.

When it all happened I was really, really happy.

The teachers had to call me "he" and "Leo"

so I could finally be accepted and I could finally be who I was.

It changed Leo's life forever.

The support group helped my primary school

understand the way I feel inside.

It was set up by someone called Stephen Whittle.

To me, he is a transgender superhero!

And I'm really, really excited to meet him.

I hope he likes me, I hope he thinks I'm cool.

I'm meeting Stephen at the House of Commons, because that's where

he managed to change the law for transgender people.

-What's that?

-It's Big Ben.

It's not very big.

It's massive!

Just like me, Stephen was born a girl, but he knew

he was in the wrong body, so when he grew up he became a man.

He's worked really hard

so transgender people like me and him are accepted.

Come in, come in.

-Hi, are you Leo?

-Hello. All right?

-Hi, Leo.

-Hello.

Come in, have a seat, I'm Stephen.

It's really nice to meet you.

-It's nice to meet you too.

-So how's school now?

A lot better now, cos it was thanks to you that it changed, wasn't it?

-Y'know, how you feel inside...

-Yeah.

..is finally being seen on the outside.

How about you? You've been through all this now,

is there anything you would have changed?

This has made me the person I am.

It was awful at first, doing it in the '70s.

There was just so much prejudice and discrimination.

You were the lowest of the low.

You were considered mentally ill.

We had absolutely no rights at all,

which was when I decided I was going to train as a lawyer.

We set up Press for Change.

The whole idea was that we would lobby Parliament,

we'd say, "Please change the law,"

which meant that you had a right to go to school as Leo

and hopefully, y'know,

-none of the hassle we had will be there for you.

-Yeah.

-Good luck to you.

-Thank you.

I wish I was starting my life where you are now.

He was the coolest person I've ever met.

I wouldn't have known he's trans. He did not look trans at all.

And I'm so glad that I was born in this time.

While I'm in London, I'm catching up with my friend Kai.

Yay! I can see him!

Kai is ten years old and like me, he was born in a girl's body

but he feels like a boy.

I'm not friends with Kai because he's transgender,

I'm friends with Kai because he's loads of fun.

I always wanted to be a boy but I couldn't, like, explain it.

I didn't know what to say or anything...

It's not every day that, y'know, someone turns round

and says, "Ooh, Mum, I want to be the opposite gender,"

they'd be like "What you on about?"

I was scared because we went to the doctor's after I told my mum

and he was like, "What's that?" and everything

and I was like, "Am I the only person or anything?"

I used to think I was the only person in the world.

And then my mum showed me all these videos and I was like, phew!

I think there's obviously going to be hard times

because not everything's easy

but I think as long as you surround yourself

with good supportive people,

you should be able to get through it just fine.

The only difference between our life and...

A boy's life...

..a born-male boy's life is we're trapped in this awful body

and we have to do loads of medical stuff.

I feel 100% like a boy, but if you try and tell that to someone else

and explain you were born in a girl's body it might be a bit...

Yeah, they're probably won't...

They'd be like, "Ahh, you're just young, it's just a phase."

But once you know, you know, don't you?

Yeah.

We're quite lucky

cos we have supportive parents and, like, family.

If I had to live as a girl, I wouldn't want to be around any more.

I'd be, like, screaming in my room every day.

I wouldn't want to leave my room, because it's just not who you are.

-Yeah.

-I am who I am, I'm not wearing a dress.

Not a chance.

I'd be like, to a boy, "You wear a dress, see how you like it!"

This isn't me. This is what's holding me back.

I don't even want to show you this, let alone anyone else.

I just want it gone.

I want a new one with a new picture, new title,

new name, and everything just sorted out about it.

There's your birth certificate.

Thanks for doing this, Mum, it's really cool.

-Cos now I can get my passport, can't I?

-Yeah.

'My mum's been really busy getting together all the different

'letters and paperwork so I can get my new passport,

'which will hopefully tell the world that I am a boy.'

And a letter from Dad.

'I really hope the Passport Office agree I can be described as male.'

If I had to have "female" on my passport, I'd, like,

hide it away because it would be really rubbish

and I'd be really disappointed that I can't go, like,

on any of the travels I want to go on,

but I'm not going anywhere with a female passport.

'All I can do is keep my fingers crossed

'that I get that magic M for male.'

Where do I sign?

-This is the bit you need to sign.

-Yeah, boi!

That's my new signature. Nice.

With the forms signed and sealed,

I just need to get a new passport photo.

Leo loves having his photo taken. He'll be in there for ages now.

Hold your head straight.

"Please keep your head straight."

What you doing?

Make sure you hold your head straight.

You doughnut! Now do some proper ones.

OK!

Done the serious one.

Done it.

That's better.

Yep, I think they're the ones.

All my family completely support me and accept me as Leo.

But some transgender people are rejected by their families.

I'm flying to Scotland to meet Natalie,

who was born in a boy's body but lives as a girl.

I'm really excited to meet her

and I think it will be nice to learn about her life.

I can't work out whether it's an aeroplane or a bird.

They all look the same.

Today will be the first time I've ever been on an aeroplane.

I'm feeling quite scared about the aeroplane ride

but I'm really excited as well.

Look at that!

It's gone now.

You don't have any liquids inside there at all,

over the size of 100ml?

-I've got two jumpers.

-Two jumpers, that's fine.

HE SHUDDERS

I'm now going on an aeroplane and I'm really scared and nervous.

He'll be fine - I think he'll love it once he gets up there.

I'm really scared, Mum.

What if someone really, really heavy gets on it and it sinks?

HE MOANS

-I don't like it.

-You'll be fine! You'll be fine.

Before I went on the aeroplane I was really, really scared.

But after I went on it, I feel like I can do anything.

I feel, like, fearless since I've been on it.

-Thanks.

-All right. Have a good day!

Yeah, you too. Bye!

'The scary flight was worth it - Natalie is really nice.

'She's transgender like me, only the other way around -

'Natalie was born in a boy's body but lives as a 20-year-old woman.

'But some of her family haven't accepted her,

'and I want to find out what that's like.'

When did you know you was transgender?

Erm, probably around 15.

I knew a little bit earlier, I mean, since I was five

I always felt a bit different, a bit iffy, with...everything,

but I didn't actually know what transgender was until I was 15.

How was your mum when you first came out?

Well, my parents found out while I was getting bullied at school.

They didn't believe I was transgender, they thought maybe

I was just hanging out with the wrong people,

maybe it was just a phase.

Without the support of my family it made me quite...

Well, it made me worse.

They sent me to see counsellors and doctors

and they all took my side on it.

This got my parents quite angry about it.

That must have been like torture, I would hate it...so much.

Yeah... I mean, it's part of the reason why I moved out.

My grandparents accepted me and my uncle and my aunties

but when I was at home, I just had to lock myself in my room

because I wasn't allowed to be myself anywhere else around the house.

I'm still having problems but it's getting slightly better.

Meeting Natalie and seeing she had quite a tough time

made me feel really, really lucky to have the support I have.

'It's not just my family who accept me,

'my oldest friends are always there for me.'

I think we could all say we've fallen out with someone

to stick up for Leo.

At first, like, it was horrible to, like, see you cry all the time,

cos it wasn't fair on you,

but now you just kind of like pass it by because

you don't really care what people think, and that's really good.

Proud trans-man.

-I'm proud of you.

-Thanks.

Everyone's going to be different.

I just hate it how people expect others to be like them

and then they start judging them. I don't think that's good.

If everyone was the same, this world would be boring.

Yeah, wouldn't it? Couldn't handle too many of you!

Well...

THEY LAUGH

Everyone's different somehow, and I think the best thing to do

is to tell someone how you feel and, like, how you feel different

so that they can understand, try to understand anyway, and accept you.

After I told my mum I was really a boy,

I then talked to a lot of doctors who helped me.

One thing that used to scare me was knowing my body would soon

change into a woman's, even though I wanted to grow up to be a man.

Our bodies begin to alter when we grow up,

because hormones in our bodies start working really hard.

Male hormones turn boys into men

and female hormones turn girls into women.

But if you're transgender like me, it's horrible,

because our bodies start changing the opposite way to how we feel.

I would be really, really sad

because I would be trapped in the body I don't want to be in.

My doctors understand what I'm going through,

so we all decided I should be given a monthly injection

to stop my body changing into a woman's.

The injection is called a hormone blocker.

And if you stop taking it, your hormones start working again,

just like before.

Dr Polly knows all about it.

The blocker is an injection that someone has every month

which pauses the body and stops it from carrying on to grow up

into a man or a woman

and the idea of the blocker is that if we can take away that worry

about your body doing something that you don't want it to,

then it gives you and us more time and space to be really thinking

about what's going to be best for you now but also in the future.

And the good thing about it is that if you stop the injections,

it's like pressing a start button

and the body just carries on developing

as it would as if you hadn't have taken the injection.

The treatment gives me

time to decide exactly what I want to do in the future.

I'm going to have my injection now but you can't film it

because I've got to pull my pants down.

I was one of the youngest people in the UK to start hormone blockers.

He had to go through a long process of being watched

and talked to and understood,

so that they were 100% sure he was right for the treatment.

Although I'm pleased to be prescribed the injections,

they do really hurt!

Oh, it's agony.

But not everyone agrees the treatment is a good thing.

Newspapers write articles about me because I take hormone blockers.

Some people think it's not right to give them to children.

It's such big news, I've been invited to appear on the TV!

Some people don't agree with giving hormone blockers to younger people

cos they feel like they have... they're not old enough

to make the decision, but I think, on the other hand,

hormone blockers are reversible

and it won't change someone's life forever.

I don't like it when they make it sound like they're going to

give blockers to every nine-year-old that goes in there,

because that's not the way it is.

Yeah, it took me about a year, over that, ages.

Cos they have to check your body and stuff, don't they?

Yeah, everything.

Some people's reactions can vary,

they can be really, really bad or really, really good,

so you just have to learn to accept that

people have their own opinions that may not be nice.

'This is me on the telly!'

Finally getting my hormone blockers is like the best present ever.

If Leo could have had those at nine,

I would have happily let him have them.

But, as a family, there has never been a waver,

a moment where you thought, "Are we doing the right thing here?"

You've been always very positive?

Always, but then Leo has never wavered either.

Some trans people may not have made their minds up 100%,

cos some people have doubts, but I've always been a boy

and I've always had my mind set that I'm a boy and not a girl.

'I think doing this could change negativity'

cos I'm kind of showing people that I'm just normal,

I'm the same as all the other kids,

apart form, like, trapped in the wrong body.

'I hope speaking out on TV will help other people.

'And I think I might be in love with Holly Willoughby.'

Love her loads.

'Today is another really important day.'

We're in Peterborough and we've come to the passport office,

me and my mum, we've got all the forms and the photos

and I'm hoping it goes really well.

If I don't get "male" on my passport, I'll be really upset

because it means that other people don't see me the way I see myself.

-Is the Queen in there?

-No.

It says "Her Majesty".

Getting "male" on my passport is really important.

If it says "female" on it, people might just assume I'm a girl

but if it says "male" on it

everyone will have to call me a boy because that's what I am.

You can't come in here, I'm sorry, but wish me luck!

We're all humans, we all, y'know,

deserve to have acceptance in this world,

so I am proud of my... me being trans,

I'm proud of my gender and I want every other trans person

to look at themselves and think, "I'm proud of who I am."

Yes, I've had, like, rubbish back in my life

but it's all made me the person I am today, that's how I feel.

So I want to make it so every trans person can be like that.

We've done it!

Here's my passport and there's my picture, which is a lot better

than the other one.

And here it says "male" on it.

And it also says M down here, where the other one said F.

I think for the people who, like, don't accept me

and, like, pick on me and stuff, I've finally got, like, proof

and evidence, cos my word isn't as strong as the actual proof.

Like, for kids who ride past and shout, like, "girl" and stuff

I kinda... like, I've got the actual proof

and it's the law as well so it's a legal document.

And for the parents who think I'm too young, well,

the law don't think I'm too young so I must not be.

Taking big steps for trans people and I'm really proud!

See you soon!

So, night, guys.

It won't let me stop it.