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SHE SINGS: | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
Shimoye, can you get me two paracetamol, please? | 0:00:40 | 0:00:43 | |
Love you, darling. | 0:01:10 | 0:01:11 | |
HE RAPS: | 0:01:14 | 0:01:17 | |
Warrs? | 0:01:26 | 0:01:27 | |
WARREN: Yeah? | 0:01:27 | 0:01:29 | |
-SHE GROANS -What's up? | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
SHIMOYE: You OK? | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
-SHE INHALES -No. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
-Why? -I'm tired. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:41 | |
Well, do you not want to get up? | 0:01:43 | 0:01:45 | |
Uh-uh, I don't feel like getting up. | 0:01:45 | 0:01:47 | |
I'm in pain at the minute. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
Have you taken your morning pills? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
No, I needed to have a cup of tea first. | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
SHE GROANS I'll make that for you. | 0:01:53 | 0:01:56 | |
What kind of tea do you want? | 0:01:56 | 0:01:58 | |
-The usual coffee. -OK. | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
'My name is Shimoye, I'm 13 years old. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
'I've been a carer for my mum | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
'for about six years.' | 0:02:11 | 0:02:13 | |
MUM CALLS | 0:02:14 | 0:02:15 | |
Yeah, Mum? | 0:02:15 | 0:02:16 | |
'When I first started caring for her, | 0:02:18 | 0:02:20 | |
'I felt happy because I knew I could look after my mum. | 0:02:20 | 0:02:23 | |
'I'd be able to show my mum how much she means to me | 0:02:23 | 0:02:26 | |
'and how much I do love her, and stuff.' | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
'And then I felt sad at the same time | 0:02:30 | 0:02:31 | |
'cos obviously I didn't get to play the child role any more, so... | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
'And then I felt angry that she got the disease, and stuff.' | 0:02:35 | 0:02:39 | |
Put it there, thank you. | 0:02:40 | 0:02:42 | |
'She has an incurable disease called CPS, | 0:02:42 | 0:02:45 | |
'which stands for... | 0:02:45 | 0:02:46 | |
'She has to live with pain for the rest of her life.' | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
You OK? | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
No, I want to take the pill, cos my back is killing me now. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
But I need to eat. You know I can't take any of the pills | 0:02:56 | 0:03:00 | |
-unless I eat, innit? -Mm-hm. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:01 | |
You do the washing? You put the machine on yet? | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
-Mm-hm. -Are you all right? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:07 | |
-Yeah. -You look tired, babe. | 0:03:07 | 0:03:09 | |
I'm very tired, but it's fine. | 0:03:09 | 0:03:11 | |
'Well, it's just me and my mum, alone, | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
'so I'm the main person that she has to come to whenever she's | 0:03:16 | 0:03:19 | |
'in pain, or if she is worried, or she needs help, | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
'or something like that.' | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
Sometimes... | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
my mum might be in a better mood, | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
or she might be in a worse mood... | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
depending on how the day is. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
SHE GRUNTS | 0:03:37 | 0:03:40 | |
Are the pills kicking in? | 0:03:40 | 0:03:41 | |
No, I'm feeling... I'm having a bit of a snap in my head. | 0:03:42 | 0:03:46 | |
-Headache? -Yeah. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:47 | |
Oh, please, not now. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:50 | |
'It's scary sometimes...' | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
MUM GROANS | 0:03:53 | 0:03:54 | |
'..what I'm doing. | 0:03:54 | 0:03:56 | |
'What on earth is going on inside her?' | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
SHE GROANS | 0:03:58 | 0:04:00 | |
I think I need to get up... | 0:04:00 | 0:04:01 | |
..and get some fresh air, otherwise I'll... | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Do you want to go outside? | 0:04:05 | 0:04:06 | |
Yeah, I don't want to be in this bed. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:08 | |
Well, then you can come with me when I go to Nanny's. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
Yeah, I'll maybe do that, yeah. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:13 | |
Give me a kiss. | 0:04:13 | 0:04:14 | |
Give me a hug. | 0:04:16 | 0:04:17 | |
MUM MOANS | 0:04:17 | 0:04:19 | |
I hope I'm not hurting... Making you feel pain or anything. | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
No... | 0:04:23 | 0:04:24 | |
..I feel better, actually. | 0:04:25 | 0:04:27 | |
# The pain I feel, yeah, is so deep | 0:04:27 | 0:04:32 | |
# It squeezes my heart so bad | 0:04:33 | 0:04:37 | |
# And it leaves me in a state of shock | 0:04:37 | 0:04:41 | |
# Sometimes I wonder | 0:04:41 | 0:04:44 | |
# What it's like for you. # | 0:04:44 | 0:04:48 | |
I'll get these out, you go do your teeth. Just go. Out! | 0:04:56 | 0:05:00 | |
'I'm Chloe, I care for my mum, | 0:05:01 | 0:05:04 | |
'I'm 13 years old.' | 0:05:04 | 0:05:06 | |
-CHLOE WHINES -Be careful, they'll still be hot. | 0:05:06 | 0:05:08 | |
-I know. I have a system so you can sometimes just go. -Oh, yeah, yeah. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:12 | |
Normally, it's the mother telling the child off, | 0:05:12 | 0:05:15 | |
but this is sort of reversed, | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
so I'm telling her off more. | 0:05:17 | 0:05:20 | |
I'm just staying at home | 0:05:20 | 0:05:22 | |
and going with my mum to the doctor's today, | 0:05:22 | 0:05:25 | |
instead of going to school. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:28 | |
'I've been doing this for as long as I can remember, really.' | 0:05:31 | 0:05:34 | |
'It's got a lot harder because her condition has deteriorated.' | 0:05:36 | 0:05:40 | |
Aren't you meant to wear this in bed, as well? | 0:05:41 | 0:05:43 | |
No idea. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
The ankle's a bit swollen - | 0:05:47 | 0:05:48 | |
I'm going to have to open it up a bit further, sorry. | 0:05:48 | 0:05:50 | |
'My mum has dislocating hips, | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
'a bad back and fibromyalgia. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
'Fibromyalgia is a chronic pain disease. | 0:05:56 | 0:05:59 | |
'It tells your body that something really, really hurts | 0:06:00 | 0:06:03 | |
'when it doesn't really hurt. | 0:06:03 | 0:06:05 | |
'So, like, if somebody just tapped you, | 0:06:05 | 0:06:07 | |
'it might feel like they punched you.' | 0:06:07 | 0:06:11 | |
Whoa! | 0:06:12 | 0:06:13 | |
There's a hole there, Mum. | 0:06:13 | 0:06:15 | |
'My mum, I feel, is getting worse, not better. | 0:06:15 | 0:06:18 | |
'Her conditions are deteriorating. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
'She would say there's more bad days than good days. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
'She recently developed a peanut and nut allergy, | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
'so she's come to get that checked out.' | 0:06:29 | 0:06:31 | |
People see the physical side, where you're tired. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:44 | |
They don't ever see the emotional side, | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
that it's hard on you as a person, | 0:06:46 | 0:06:49 | |
because you're seeing someone you love in pain. | 0:06:49 | 0:06:53 | |
How was it, Mum? | 0:06:53 | 0:06:54 | |
Not too bad. | 0:06:54 | 0:06:56 | |
Any new medication? | 0:06:57 | 0:06:58 | |
No, but they've got to refer me to the allergy clinic, | 0:06:58 | 0:07:01 | |
and I may need an EpiPen. | 0:07:01 | 0:07:03 | |
INDISTINCT | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
Yeah, all right. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:07 | |
'It's so hard to see it getting worse, | 0:07:08 | 0:07:12 | |
'so it's very important for me | 0:07:12 | 0:07:14 | |
'just to have that time just to find a way of dealing with it.' | 0:07:14 | 0:07:19 | |
It's cold outside. | 0:07:19 | 0:07:21 | |
Couldn't you have got an appointment in the summer? | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
'Things like poems and stories, | 0:07:26 | 0:07:28 | |
'it gives me a chance to just let out my feelings.' | 0:07:28 | 0:07:32 | |
When I'm stressed, | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
I write poems in my imaginary box. | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
Words are my friends. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
They comfort me when I feel alone. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:52 | |
Words help me cope, | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
stop me from being frantic. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
I'm surrounded. | 0:07:57 | 0:07:59 | |
I'm surrounded by words. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:01 | |
Surrounded by words. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Surrounded, surrounded... | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
..surrounded by words. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:12 | |
# Surrounded by words. # | 0:08:12 | 0:08:15 | |
'My name is Warren, | 0:08:24 | 0:08:25 | |
'I'm 14, and I'm a young carer because I look after my mum. | 0:08:25 | 0:08:29 | |
'My mum says I am her legs, | 0:08:31 | 0:08:32 | |
'because I have to do things that Mum can't do all the time. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:36 | |
'She has type 1 diabetes,' | 0:08:37 | 0:08:39 | |
'which means she has no feeling in her legs and her hands.' | 0:08:39 | 0:08:42 | |
-Does it hurt? -No, course it doesn't. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
'She has to inject herself with insulin every morning | 0:08:49 | 0:08:53 | |
'to keep her blood sugar levels low. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
'I've been doing this for about four or five years now. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
'Well, I feel like she spent all those years looking after me, | 0:09:03 | 0:09:07 | |
'I guess now it's my turn - | 0:09:07 | 0:09:09 | |
'kind of like returning a favour.' | 0:09:09 | 0:09:11 | |
KETTLE BOILS | 0:09:11 | 0:09:13 | |
'The first time I remember my mum going to the hospital, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:18 | |
'I was, like, eight, | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
'and that's when I started paying more attention | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
'to what I had to do for Mum. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
I guess at the beginning it was quite difficult, | 0:09:29 | 0:09:32 | |
but now I'm older I'm getting quite into it. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
If her blood sugar is too low, she would usually ask me | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
to get her some Lucozade, | 0:09:40 | 0:09:41 | |
and if her blood sugar is too high, | 0:09:41 | 0:09:43 | |
she would usually ask me to go make her a couple of cups of tea. | 0:09:43 | 0:09:47 | |
-Mum? -Oh, thank you. | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
-You're not even done. -Lovely. | 0:09:50 | 0:09:52 | |
Can you go out to the pharmacy and get my medication? | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
Even though I might not want to do it, if I say no, my mum can't go. | 0:10:01 | 0:10:05 | |
Just give that to your mum, all right? Thank you very much. | 0:10:05 | 0:10:09 | |
Mum? | 0:10:11 | 0:10:12 | |
# When I see my mum in pain I always come around | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
# But what if I'm not there? That's all I think about | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
# Every second, every minute, every hour, every day | 0:10:19 | 0:10:21 | |
# Every cheer, every smile, every heartache, every pain | 0:10:21 | 0:10:23 | |
# We share every one of these with a special connection | 0:10:23 | 0:10:26 | |
# And every bit of pain like a lovely heart infection | 0:10:26 | 0:10:29 | |
# When I see my mum in pain | 0:10:29 | 0:10:30 | |
# I always come around. # | 0:10:30 | 0:10:32 | |
Hopefully today is going to be a... | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
fun, exciting, and... | 0:10:37 | 0:10:40 | |
also a much easier day than other days, | 0:10:40 | 0:10:43 | |
so that, erm... | 0:10:43 | 0:10:45 | |
I can look after Mum properly, | 0:10:45 | 0:10:47 | |
and she's not upset, or angry, or anything like that. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
That's all right. Just do... | 0:10:54 | 0:10:55 | |
I just want this... This is the most...bit. | 0:10:55 | 0:10:58 | |
Just the rubbish, cos I keep stepping in it, and I don't want to. | 0:10:58 | 0:11:01 | |
Cos, listen, I'm hungry, so you just oven it. | 0:11:02 | 0:11:04 | |
SHIMOYE LAUGHS | 0:11:04 | 0:11:06 | |
You press it. Just use here. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
-Yeah, there you go, press it. -Yay! | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
Yeah, that's it - see? | 0:11:12 | 0:11:13 | |
So do the other one like that. There you go, that's bigger. | 0:11:15 | 0:11:18 | |
Yeah? So you can give that, say, another two minutes? | 0:11:19 | 0:11:23 | |
Thank you. | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 | |
I don't like... If I cook, I don't like tasting it first. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:29 | |
-Mm, that's good. -Is it nice? -It's nice. | 0:11:29 | 0:11:31 | |
Yay! | 0:11:31 | 0:11:32 | |
Oh, this is the dumpling you made. | 0:11:32 | 0:11:34 | |
Oh, look, it turned squidgy. | 0:11:34 | 0:11:36 | |
I know that. | 0:11:36 | 0:11:38 | |
-When I took it, I was like, "Ugh." -No, I like it, though. | 0:11:38 | 0:11:41 | |
That's, like, your signature... | 0:11:41 | 0:11:43 | |
Your signature dumpling. It's juicy. | 0:11:43 | 0:11:45 | |
'She can be really, really happy, | 0:11:45 | 0:11:47 | |
'and then, just like that, it's just, | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
'all of a sudden she's in this really super-depressed mood.' | 0:11:49 | 0:11:52 | |
I don't want to talk, Shimoye, the way I'm feeling right now. | 0:11:52 | 0:11:54 | |
Are you that tired? | 0:11:54 | 0:11:55 | |
-Not really tired. -Ill? | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
-I'm just in pain. -Oh. | 0:11:58 | 0:12:00 | |
These ones. | 0:12:05 | 0:12:07 | |
Mum? | 0:12:08 | 0:12:10 | |
She said she was OK, but, erm... | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
..I have to always double-check | 0:12:17 | 0:12:18 | |
before I go to my bed or something, | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
cos I obviously have to wake up early for school tomorrow. | 0:12:20 | 0:12:23 | |
It's now midnight. | 0:12:27 | 0:12:28 | |
I have to make tea for Mum. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
Yeah, so this is, like, the third cup of tea | 0:12:34 | 0:12:38 | |
I've made for Mum. | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
See? | 0:12:40 | 0:12:41 | |
The kettle was still kind of warm. | 0:12:41 | 0:12:43 | |
My mum woke up during the night, and I heard her, | 0:12:45 | 0:12:48 | |
and then I didn't go back to sleep till I knew she was safe. | 0:12:48 | 0:12:51 | |
And then I was watching, because from my bedroom... | 0:12:51 | 0:12:56 | |
..I can see straight to her bedroom. | 0:12:59 | 0:13:04 | |
Puts my mind at rest cos I can make sure that she's OK. | 0:13:04 | 0:13:08 | |
And then I'm tired the next day for school. | 0:13:08 | 0:13:11 | |
'I'm on crutches today because I've sprained by foot. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:18 | |
'Sometimes my mum is in so much pain I can't even | 0:13:18 | 0:13:21 | |
'give her a hug before going to school.' | 0:13:21 | 0:13:23 | |
See you later, princess. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:25 | |
DOG WHINES | 0:13:25 | 0:13:27 | |
I suppose it's a good enough day that we can at least hug each other, | 0:13:27 | 0:13:30 | |
which is good. | 0:13:30 | 0:13:31 | |
OK, have a good day. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:33 | |
Things are getting on top of me. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:41 | |
I'm going to speak with Ms Sloan, my school nurse. | 0:13:41 | 0:13:43 | |
Last night was quite hard because, erm... | 0:13:44 | 0:13:48 | |
when I'm on crutches, it's hard anyway, | 0:13:48 | 0:13:50 | |
and then I was worried about my mum, as well as being in pain, | 0:13:50 | 0:13:53 | |
so it was quite difficult. | 0:13:53 | 0:13:54 | |
-A difficult night for you, as well? -Yeah. | 0:13:54 | 0:13:57 | |
At the moment, my mum's getting worse, not better, | 0:13:57 | 0:13:59 | |
so it's quite hard. | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
As Mum's pain is a bit worse, | 0:14:01 | 0:14:03 | |
we need to make sure that we're there for you. | 0:14:03 | 0:14:06 | |
And the more support you need, the more we'll give you. | 0:14:06 | 0:14:08 | |
If we can get you into a place in school where you're relaxed, | 0:14:08 | 0:14:13 | |
where you know that you could go and take that time out, | 0:14:13 | 0:14:17 | |
and you can have fun at break. | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
-Yeah. -That's what it's all about, isn't it? -Yeah. -Yeah? | 0:14:18 | 0:14:22 | |
It was a lot harder than I wanted it to be today, | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
but I've got through the day, | 0:14:28 | 0:14:30 | |
I've powered on, and I've stayed in all my classes, | 0:14:30 | 0:14:34 | |
taking all the learning I could in. | 0:14:34 | 0:14:38 | |
All I have to do is think that... | 0:14:38 | 0:14:40 | |
..I will have good days and bad days. | 0:14:42 | 0:14:45 | |
You can never tell which one it'll be. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:49 | |
I just hope tomorrow's better, not worse. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:54 | |
'The pressure of balancing school and caring is quite topsy-turvy.' | 0:14:58 | 0:15:03 | |
I have to stay strong not just for myself, but for my mum, | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
and I'm just trying my hardest to make sure she doesn't worry. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:12 | |
I don't think I'd be able to live with that. | 0:15:12 | 0:15:15 | |
When my mum gets just a cold, I feel like, | 0:15:15 | 0:15:17 | |
"I can't even cope with you right now." | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
Do you know what I mean? | 0:15:19 | 0:15:21 | |
Yeah, go on, just rip it off. Aah! | 0:15:21 | 0:15:24 | |
-Ohh! -You said just rip it off, I'm sorry! | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
Go on. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:28 | |
Yeah, there you go. Thank you, darling. | 0:15:28 | 0:15:31 | |
Kiss. | 0:15:31 | 0:15:33 | |
SHIMOYE CHUCKLES | 0:15:33 | 0:15:34 | |
MUM PRETENDS TO CRY | 0:15:34 | 0:15:35 | |
Mummy's going to cry, give Mum a hug. | 0:15:35 | 0:15:37 | |
Ahh... | 0:15:37 | 0:15:39 | |
I love you, thank you. | 0:15:39 | 0:15:42 | |
'Having the roles switched, so the child having to be | 0:15:42 | 0:15:45 | |
'the carer of the adult, what you lose is being able to have a | 0:15:45 | 0:15:48 | |
'normal childhood and having someone that you can depend on. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:53 | |
'But from that, you gain the independence, | 0:15:53 | 0:15:55 | |
'the ability to do certain things that you didn't think you could, | 0:15:55 | 0:15:59 | |
'and being self-reliant. | 0:15:59 | 0:16:02 | |
'Having to deal with emotions, you're able to control them | 0:16:02 | 0:16:05 | |
'and become a stronger person, being able to not just be | 0:16:05 | 0:16:08 | |
'strong for yourself, but also for the parent | 0:16:08 | 0:16:10 | |
'that you look after. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:12 | |
'Balancing schoolwork, housework and everything, | 0:16:14 | 0:16:16 | |
'it is a difficult task.' | 0:16:16 | 0:16:18 | |
That's just my job. I have to get through the good times and the bad. | 0:16:18 | 0:16:22 | |
'Today, I'm going with my mum to see an eye specialist, | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
'because her condition is getting worse.' | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
So, if you look at my left ear now. | 0:16:30 | 0:16:32 | |
Things have looked a little bit more bearable this year. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:37 | |
There is a risk of you losing your central vision. | 0:16:37 | 0:16:40 | |
You do have to be conscious of that going forwards, I'm afraid. | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
'It worries me a lot if her eyesight continues to get bad. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:52 | |
'Driving is a very big part of Mum's life. | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
'She really doesn't like public transport, | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
'especially with her bad leg, having to stand around a lot.' | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
Cheers. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:04 | |
Are you worried that I might go blind, | 0:17:04 | 0:17:06 | |
and then I wouldn't be able to take you anywhere? | 0:17:06 | 0:17:08 | |
-Does that bother you? -Yeah. | 0:17:08 | 0:17:10 | |
'To be able to go out skating takes a huge weight off my shoulders.' | 0:17:14 | 0:17:18 | |
# Skating down ramps, jumping off gaps | 0:17:21 | 0:17:23 | |
# Shooting basketball or playing PS4 | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
# These are things I do when my mum's not telling me | 0:17:25 | 0:17:28 | |
# To go make food or make some tea | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
# When the day is through this is how I kick back | 0:17:30 | 0:17:32 | |
# This how I relax, then I do an ollie | 0:17:32 | 0:17:34 | |
# And kick back into a kickflip | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
# This is it and this is how I chill. # | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
Oh, no. | 0:17:42 | 0:17:43 | |
Warrs? | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
Wait, Mum, can I have, like, five minutes, and then I'll go? | 0:17:45 | 0:17:48 | |
Er...maybe. | 0:17:49 | 0:17:51 | |
What do you mean, "Maybe"? | 0:17:51 | 0:17:52 | |
My friends are getting really annoyed | 0:17:52 | 0:17:54 | |
cos I keep leaving... | 0:17:54 | 0:17:57 | |
every time we finally get somewhere in the missions, | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
I have to leave. | 0:18:00 | 0:18:01 | |
Oh, careful, son! Thank you. | 0:18:03 | 0:18:05 | |
Thank you very much. | 0:18:05 | 0:18:07 | |
'I feel like sometimes it does get too much, | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
'and I just have to take some time out. | 0:18:14 | 0:18:17 | |
Is there something that upset you this week, Chloe? | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
My mum had this really bad day where she couldn't walk | 0:18:21 | 0:18:23 | |
or use her legs at all, | 0:18:23 | 0:18:26 | |
so she had to, like, crawl around the house, | 0:18:26 | 0:18:30 | |
and I had to carry everything in for her cos she couldn't hold anything. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:34 | |
So it was quite hard. | 0:18:34 | 0:18:35 | |
Sometimes I feel when we go out to play, when I feel Mum's | 0:18:38 | 0:18:42 | |
having a bad day, then you're not your joyful self and that. | 0:18:42 | 0:18:45 | |
It's cos I'm not really thinking about... | 0:18:45 | 0:18:47 | |
Maybe thinking about my mum, and... | 0:18:47 | 0:18:49 | |
-what if she falls or something? -Yeah. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
Push, foot, up. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
I don't know if everything is going to be the same when I go home. | 0:18:56 | 0:19:00 | |
Life, for me, is a roller-coaster. | 0:19:03 | 0:19:06 | |
I've got used to its ups and downs. | 0:19:09 | 0:19:11 | |
This happens to me every day. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:16 | |
Lean and grab. | 0:19:17 | 0:19:19 | |
'Within a minute, my feelings can change.' | 0:19:19 | 0:19:22 | |
I just don't know what's coming next. | 0:19:25 | 0:19:27 | |
I don't know if everything's going to be the same when I go home. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
Chloe, darling. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:38 | |
This is the evening medication. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
Most of them are the same amount each day. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:08 | |
I think I worked it out to be about 36 tablets in a day. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:12 | |
On a good day. | 0:20:12 | 0:20:14 | |
On a bad day, I think it's about... | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
-42 or something? -Something like that, yeah. | 0:20:18 | 0:20:20 | |
-Shimoye? -Yeah? | 0:20:22 | 0:20:24 | |
What happened last night? | 0:20:27 | 0:20:29 | |
-I felt like I was having a stroke, to be honest. -Really? | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
I called the doctor this morning, | 0:20:31 | 0:20:33 | |
and they said that I need to watch myself for the rest of the day. | 0:20:33 | 0:20:38 | |
I want you now to just, kind of, focus on me, like, for the day. | 0:20:38 | 0:20:42 | |
I know how to check if you have a stroke. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:44 | |
-You know how to do it? -I learnt at school. | 0:20:44 | 0:20:47 | |
You aren't tipsy or topsy-turvy or anything? | 0:20:47 | 0:20:49 | |
-No. -So, they're fine. -OK, and what else? | 0:20:49 | 0:20:52 | |
-You're speaking to me normally right now. -OK. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:54 | |
-Yeah, well, I was doing this... -MUM MUMBLES | 0:20:54 | 0:20:56 | |
Yes, it's best if you exercise your face, so that it doesn't, like... | 0:20:56 | 0:21:00 | |
Yeah, like this, you mean. That's it. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:02 | |
I just need for you to just look... Look me in the eyes, | 0:21:02 | 0:21:05 | |
-say, "Mum, you're sick." -MUM CHUCKLES | 0:21:05 | 0:21:08 | |
-Oh, baby. -I know you'll be fine. | 0:21:08 | 0:21:11 | |
I will be fine. I just don't want you worry. | 0:21:11 | 0:21:14 | |
'If I'm feeling upset, I'd listen to music. | 0:21:16 | 0:21:18 | |
'If I'm happy, I want to listen to music. | 0:21:18 | 0:21:21 | |
'If, like, whatever I'm doing, | 0:21:21 | 0:21:22 | |
'most of the time I feel, like, the need to listen to music.' | 0:21:22 | 0:21:26 | |
You know what? This is what I need to do more often, like, fun. | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
-You know when I used to come out and walk? -Mm-hm. | 0:21:31 | 0:21:33 | |
It's because I kind of get... | 0:21:33 | 0:21:35 | |
The pain kind of prevents me from wanting to come out. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
You just sort of... | 0:21:37 | 0:21:39 | |
don't want to see anyone, really. | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
'There's always that one song that expresses how you feel | 0:21:41 | 0:21:45 | |
'on a day-to-day basis. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:46 | |
'It's like a waterfall of feelings that just flow out of you | 0:21:46 | 0:21:49 | |
'once you listen to it.' | 0:21:49 | 0:21:51 | |
-You're playing Transformer. -What? | 0:21:51 | 0:21:52 | |
No, I'm not! | 0:21:52 | 0:21:54 | |
# I can transform... # | 0:21:54 | 0:21:55 | |
-Isn't that what's playing? -No. -All right, let me hear. | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
-You don't know the song. -OK. | 0:21:58 | 0:21:59 | |
# My life is surrounded by sound | 0:22:01 | 0:22:04 | |
# It makes me so happy to hear it | 0:22:05 | 0:22:10 | |
# Sound waves post through my ears | 0:22:10 | 0:22:13 | |
# So close I can feel it | 0:22:13 | 0:22:17 | |
# All I love to do is be surrounded by sound | 0:22:19 | 0:22:27 | |
# Surrounded | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
# Surrounded | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
# Surrounded by sound. # | 0:22:31 | 0:22:35 | |
# I got my angel now | 0:22:41 | 0:22:44 | |
# It's like I've been awakened | 0:22:44 | 0:22:47 | |
# Every rule I had you breaking | 0:22:47 | 0:22:50 | |
# I'm surrounded by your embrace | 0:22:50 | 0:22:54 | |
# I can see your halo | 0:22:54 | 0:22:56 | |
# Halo | 0:22:56 | 0:22:57 | |
# Halo | 0:22:57 | 0:22:59 | |
# Oooh. # | 0:22:59 | 0:23:00 | |
Can you massage Mum's feet for me, darling? | 0:23:00 | 0:23:03 | |
Yeah. | 0:23:03 | 0:23:04 | |
'Caring for my mum for most of my life, | 0:23:06 | 0:23:08 | |
'I feel like that's bonded us a lot closer together.' | 0:23:08 | 0:23:11 | |
-Doing that just helps to get the circulation going. -Yeah. | 0:23:12 | 0:23:15 | |
'I've seen her in, like, almost any scenario, happy, sad...' | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Keep going. | 0:23:20 | 0:23:22 | |
'..angry, in pain, | 0:23:22 | 0:23:24 | |
'and I don't feel like a lot of other kids | 0:23:24 | 0:23:26 | |
-'would understand that...' -That's it. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:28 | |
'..to see their mother unwell or in so much pain as my mum has been.' | 0:23:29 | 0:23:33 | |
Amazing. | 0:23:34 | 0:23:36 | |
The doctors would be proud of you. | 0:23:36 | 0:23:38 | |
Warrs, can you make Mum a cup of tea? | 0:23:40 | 0:23:41 | |
HE MOANS | 0:23:41 | 0:23:42 | |
Just boil the kettle and top this up for me, please. | 0:23:42 | 0:23:46 | |
Warren, you're going to spill my tea. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:49 | |
I'm not going to spill it. | 0:23:49 | 0:23:51 | |
Five years of tea balancing, I know what I'm doing. | 0:23:51 | 0:23:54 | |
SHE LAUGHS | 0:23:54 | 0:23:56 | |
Thank you, son! | 0:23:57 | 0:23:59 | |
I'm wondering whether this snow they're talking about | 0:24:00 | 0:24:03 | |
is going to happen. | 0:24:03 | 0:24:04 | |
It's got to drop to at least zero. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:06 | |
If necessary and I have to stay inside, | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
we could somehow get round it. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:12 | |
-Or put skis on my wheelchair. -Yeah! | 0:24:12 | 0:24:14 | |
That would be funny. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
You're quite special. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
And if it wasn't for you, my life would be really boring. | 0:24:20 | 0:24:23 | |
Really normal. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:26 | |
Oh, thanks, darling. | 0:24:26 | 0:24:27 | |
# My mum's a friend, a close friend | 0:24:40 | 0:24:43 | |
# It's painful to see her like this | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
# Like being punched in the heart | 0:24:46 | 0:24:49 | |
# I wonder what it's like for her | 0:24:49 | 0:24:51 | |
# Every second, every minute of every day | 0:24:51 | 0:24:55 | |
# People say it won't make a difference to me how she feels | 0:24:58 | 0:25:02 | |
# But they're wrong | 0:25:02 | 0:25:04 | |
# When you're that close, even one tear of theirs can make you cry | 0:25:04 | 0:25:09 | |
# Especially me and my mum | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
# Seeing her in agony is painful in itself. # | 0:25:12 | 0:25:15 | |
Since there's only been two of us, | 0:25:21 | 0:25:23 | |
Mum has always been very special to me. | 0:25:23 | 0:25:25 | |
She's the only parent that I've had that's been | 0:25:25 | 0:25:27 | |
there for, like, everything. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
Even though my dad doesn't live with me, | 0:25:30 | 0:25:32 | |
I still see him a lot, and he's still, like, a really great dad. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:35 | |
It would have been good if he was here, but he's not. | 0:25:35 | 0:25:38 | |
It puts a lot more pressure and, like, work onto me. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
What would I do without you? | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
We're such a team. | 0:25:47 | 0:25:48 | |
# 14 and I'm still getting through it | 0:25:51 | 0:25:53 | |
# It's not hard when you were born to do it | 0:25:53 | 0:25:55 | |
# I'm not saying it's an easy life | 0:25:55 | 0:25:57 | |
# But it's a life that's worth the fight | 0:25:57 | 0:25:59 | |
# Stress, agony, pain, I guess it's OK when | 0:25:59 | 0:26:02 | |
# You know they're OK | 0:26:02 | 0:26:03 | |
# Normal life's just supposed to be this way | 0:26:03 | 0:26:05 | |
# But I guess it's OK You know what I'm saying? | 0:26:05 | 0:26:07 | |
# She needs me like a student needs a teacher | 0:26:07 | 0:26:09 | |
# We go together like a church and a preacher | 0:26:09 | 0:26:11 | |
# She needs me when she's happy or sad | 0:26:11 | 0:26:13 | |
# I guess being a carer ain't that bad. # | 0:26:13 | 0:26:15 | |
'Today, I'm going to visit my nan. | 0:26:17 | 0:26:19 | |
'She's one of the most caring people I've seen. | 0:26:21 | 0:26:23 | |
-Stop it! -'She's a big role model.' | 0:26:23 | 0:26:25 | |
And what about me? | 0:26:25 | 0:26:27 | |
NAN LAUGHS | 0:26:27 | 0:26:28 | |
'I just want to see my mum happy, genuinely. | 0:26:29 | 0:26:32 | |
'It's hard to know she's in pain because | 0:26:32 | 0:26:34 | |
'she's so good at blocking it out.' | 0:26:34 | 0:26:36 | |
NAN LAUGHS | 0:26:36 | 0:26:37 | |
'Her being happy, it's just nice to see cos then I know | 0:26:37 | 0:26:40 | |
'she's OK for the time being.' | 0:26:40 | 0:26:42 | |
# The role I have as a carer | 0:26:44 | 0:26:48 | |
# It isn't hard at all | 0:26:49 | 0:26:52 | |
# I see these things every day | 0:26:52 | 0:26:57 | |
# They're like obstacles rolling my way | 0:26:57 | 0:27:00 | |
# I know the strength I have. # | 0:27:00 | 0:27:04 | |
'There's big news in my life. | 0:27:07 | 0:27:09 | |
'My mum's boyfriend, Steve, has moved in.' | 0:27:09 | 0:27:12 | |
-Here you go, Steve, these are for you. -Thank you. | 0:27:12 | 0:27:15 | |
'I'm quite pleased with how it's worked out. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:17 | |
'Having him round makes it easier for me, | 0:27:17 | 0:27:20 | |
'and it's made my mum happy, and she hasn't been happy for a while | 0:27:20 | 0:27:24 | |
'cos of her condition, and she's just so excited about it. | 0:27:24 | 0:27:26 | |
'It's nice to see her happy with someone.' | 0:27:28 | 0:27:31 | |
# Take a look at my life | 0:27:31 | 0:27:33 | |
# It's different, but it's great | 0:27:35 | 0:27:38 | |
# I can't always have a kid's life | 0:27:38 | 0:27:40 | |
# But this my fate | 0:27:43 | 0:27:44 | |
# We're helping others through life | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
# These are the cards we were dealt | 0:27:49 | 0:27:52 | |
# If we play them right, we could win | 0:27:53 | 0:27:55 | |
# We are determined to win. # | 0:27:59 | 0:28:02 | |
Ah, sorry! | 0:28:05 | 0:28:07 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:28:07 | 0:28:08 | |
Oh, I'm sorry. | 0:28:08 | 0:28:10 | |
Right, OK! | 0:28:10 | 0:28:11 | |
Oh, finally! | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
-That was great. -Ah! | 0:28:18 | 0:28:19 |