Survivors: My Friend Sam - Living For the Moment Storyville


Survivors: My Friend Sam - Living For the Moment

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Transcript


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This programme contains strong language

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So, how would you describe yourself?

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I'd say I've a bit of a good repartee.

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I think that's fair.

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Certainly not athletic.

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Not athletic.

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Partially sighted.

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Mmm-hmm.

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Er...

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With a few other problems.

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Mmm-hmm.

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For instance, does she have to be a West Ham supporter?

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That's a difficult one, isn't it?

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As long as they don't support Millwall or Chelsea.

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OK, no Millwall supporters.

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MUSIC: "We Are Family" by Sister Sledge

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I know of no-one who's as consistently pleased to see you as Sam.

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He's never so full of his own concerns that he doesn't have time

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to talk or joke, and an encounter with him invariably cheers you up.

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This is not a small virtue and it's a rare quality.

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Sam Frears.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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'I've been going to Sam Frears' birthday parties

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'since he was a child.

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'Our families have always been close,

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'coming together for birthdays, Christmases and football matches.'

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APPLAUSE

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I'd like to propose a toast

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to Sam Frears!

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EVERYONE: To Sam Frears!

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LAUGHING, SINGING AND CHEERING

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'Sam's birthdays are always special

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'because he was born with an extremely rare genetic disorder.

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'It meant there was a strong chance he wouldn't make it to the age of five.'

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# Happy birthday, dear Sam Happy birthday... #

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'What I find so moving about Sam is his determined refusal

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'to dwell on his own disability.'

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-Doc!

-Doc!

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Hello!

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-Hello!

-Hi.

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DOOR BANGS

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Mustn't demolish the doors.

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I go out and meet friends for breakfast, for lunch.

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I see people every day.

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Phew, I've got a very busy social life...

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Phwoar!

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..and I don't keep anything written down, which I should.

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Normal people do, but I use the old head.

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'I've always known that, in a way, Sam is enormously privileged.

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'No money worries,

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'his mother is the editor of The London Review Of Books,

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'his father a famous film director, and he's nestled in the bosom

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'of an exclusive North London literary world...'

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You're a luvvie constantly. Mwah, darling.

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'..whose members have become his extended family.

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'And yet, somehow, Sam has always seemed to me to be apart from them.

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'The disorder Sam suffers from is called Familial Dysautonomia or FD.'

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Oh, God, not another doctor.

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Not another one, please, I don't want to go back to another hospital.

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Here we are again.

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'This condition, which only affects Northern European Jews,

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'has damaged his nervous system and his eyesight

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'and makes swallowing liquids almost impossible.

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'Many sufferers don't live beyond the age of 30.'

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Now that I'm in my twilight years,

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I feel like I've got to get my life moving.

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Just want to share things with one particular person

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and that's what I want.

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It's what a lot of people out there want.

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That's the frustrating thing about getting older

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and still living at home.

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Time's running out.

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I just want one person that will be there for me.

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And I'll be there for them.

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COUGHING AND WHEEZING

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I'm like a flower, if you know what a flower is like.

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When they've got no water in them, they look floppy, don't they?

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They look like they're going to faint or they're going to wither away.

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And what do people do?

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They put water in them, don't they? And suddenly, they spring up.

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And that's what it's like for me.

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I can't drink as much as other people can do,

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cos water goes down the wrong way, whatever I'm drinking.

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Once I do my fluid, like a flower, I spring into action.

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There's life in this old dog yet.

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# I'm forever blowing bubbles! #

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-I'm not in the mood for pizza.

-Not today?

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-No, that's what I always have when I go there.

-That's quite true.

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I've had cheeseburger, turkey burger, chicken burger...

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Hamburger. A West Ham-burger.

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-The West Ham game kicks off at two o'clock.

-Two? Lunchtime.

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I don't know why.

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'It has always amazed me that over the years,

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'Sam has surrounded himself with a group of people

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'who have come into his life in many different ways.

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'Inigo, for example, is an old friend who now lives with Sam

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'and Sam's mother in their family home.'

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# We have sun We have seasons in the sun. #

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Do you have seasons in the sun?

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How long does it take to bring chicken?

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The chicken pie? They make a very nice chicken pie here, Sam.

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-But they begin from scratch.

-They have to go out and get the chicken?

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Yes, they have to go and get the chicken.

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'Sam actually has a great gift for striking up rapports with people.

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'He's somebody who recognises he needs a partner for most things.'

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That's what he gets people to be when he likes them

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and when he's comfortable with them, and then that person becomes

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a figure in his life, in some way or another.

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I say, how are you doing? Chicken pie for Sam.

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-Strewth!

-Oh, lovely. Thank you very much.

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Napkin here, knife there,

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chicken pie there, phone over here,

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spectacles and ketchup.

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Thank you very much.

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Is it very, very, very hot? Just look upwards.

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Cooler now? Maybe. Where would you like the ketchup?

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-In the pie?

-Yeah.

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'The more he does for himself, the better.

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'It's like, sort of, batting in cricket,

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'where there's a sort of subtle'

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partnership goes on,

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where you think of what the other batsman can do and can't do,

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and you're aware of them in that way and it just, sort of, happens.

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My shoelace has come undone. It's too difficult.

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No, it's not, it's fine.

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Nice one, Sam.

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Coming along very nicely.

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It's 200 for 3.

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-Stop it.

-300 for 5.

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-Sod it. I'll be all right.

-Are you going to be OK?

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-Yeah.

-OK. Let's have a look.

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Bingo, it's going to be fine.

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Let's hope so.

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Oh, no, I've come the wrong way.

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-Hi, Sam. You all right? Do you know what the time is?

-Yes.

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Only half an hour late! Come inside.

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Right, let's give you a stretch.

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SAM GASPS

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Who needs enemies when you've got people like you around?

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Your poor little knee.

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Right, relax, let's give you a nice stretch.

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Imagine Joanna's standing there.

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JULIAN LAUGHS

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'Part of his charm is he seems like he's from a different time

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'in some sort of way.

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'He doesn't have the pressures that most adults feel they have -

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'earning a living, paying the mortgage,

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'paying the bills. "I've GOT to be here by two.

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'"My next appointment is at three."

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'Sam doesn't have any of those pressures.

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'And I think possibly that's why he places so much importance

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'on the relationships that he has in his life.'

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On your feet.

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'And for us, the training is one aspect of it.'

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We have breakfast every week as well.

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And you just slowly, I suppose, blend into each other's lives.

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What's he doing?

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-Boxing.

-Oh, yeah.

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'He's always had a few women who really like him

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'and they become really good friends and the women think,

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'"That's all we are, we're really good friends."

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'But, for Sam, it's a lot deeper.

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'Perhaps he does seem to set his sights on women that are unattainable.

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'I don't know whether he realises that, or not.'

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-Hey!

-Hey.

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-Number one fan.

-Yeah.

-Hi, darling. Good to see you.

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-How are you?

-Good, we've made it. All a little stressful.

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You're going to have the pleasure of witnessing

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some of the rehearsal process.

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That's right, kids, today we're looking at love.

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We're going to look at one of the all-time classics

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Romeo and Juliet.

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Joanna means a heck of a lot to me.

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She came by for dinner 18 months ago, two years ago,

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and that's when I started being friends with her.

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And then I started going to her show -

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The Shirley and Shirley Show.

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# Hello, hello, baby, you call I can't hear a thing

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# I have got no service in the club you say, say. #

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Such a great person, has a great personality, great sense of humour.

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She likes the same sort of things I do. We have a lot in common.

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And if there's anybody I'd be stuck on a desert island with,

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it would be her.

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LAUGHTER

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-Did you enjoy that?

-I did.

-Are you going to stay for a drink?

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Umm, yeah.

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OK, I'm going to go back, get undressed and other,

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-pack up my stuff and then...

-I love the hair.

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Thank you very much.

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You're a sweetie! OK, cool.

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-You know, I, on and off, do things for Chicken Shed Theatre Company?

-Yes.

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Can I ask you to come with me, so I can show you around,

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see where I used to do my thing?

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That would be an absolute honour. I'd love to chaperone you.

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Thank you.

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-Consider it a date.

-Thank you.

-Let's shake on it.

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I know how you go back on your word.

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-Let's do it.

-Yeah. I know, there's only one thing I have to tell you.

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-Do you know where it is?

-Chicken Shed, I can, sort of...

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I can imagine it's not desperately glamorous.

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No, it's in Cockfosters.

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Lovely, Piccadilly Line, I know it well.

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Don't think I haven't made a few jokes about Cockfosters in my time.

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-Who hasn't?!

-Who hasn't? Indeed. Let's do it, Sam.

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Come on, give us a cuddle.

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Well, he was born on a Wednesday

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in what, I would think, was rather a difficult birth for Mary-Kay.

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And there was something odd, it was all to do with feeding.

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I think he wouldn't take milk.

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When he was five days old, he choked and they rushed him away

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and there was a very long time coming back.

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And then, after that, I was always very anxious that he would die.

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I mean, it's so frightening having a child that young be so ill.

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It was that nobody quite knew what was the matter with him

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that was so distressing.

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He had these episodes.

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His temperature would go up massively

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and he would vomit

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and vomit and vomit.

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He would stop breathing,

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and that's the terrible bit.

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My father, who was a GP...

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..I remember saying to me he didn't think he'd get to 20.

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He got lots of chest infections

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and you'd put a catheter up his nose and suction stuff up.

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It was incredibly anxious making and at the same time,

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you know, I'd go to work and everything.

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I didn't have the stamina to just be at home with it.

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You know, all that hitting on the back to loosen the stuff

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and then pulling, literally sucking it out of his lungs.

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I'm ashamed to say I didn't do it

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because I couldn't, sort of, face it.

0:15:580:16:01

I'm a baby, I'm a coward.

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What time do you call this?

0:16:260:16:28

# O, come, all ye faithful... #

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Got any money for a blind man, sir?

0:16:300:16:32

No, not for lazy...

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Lazy Greeks.

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All I can find is tablespoons, not teaspoons.

0:16:490:16:51

That's what you wanted. You want a teaspoon.

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I know, I can't find them.

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Try the dishwasher.

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Found one.

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All right, here we go.

0:17:050:17:07

# Here we go, here we go Here we... #

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Oh, no, it's decaf. Oh, no.

0:17:100:17:13

Oh, dear.

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Oh, no, I put it in a glass. Oh, shoot.

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I'm going to have to start again.

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-Can't get the staff...

-Suppose it'll be all right if I do this.

0:17:320:17:36

-Just pour it from the glass into the mug.

-I'm doing that now. Keep your wig on.

0:17:360:17:41

I find that remark very offensive.

0:17:410:17:43

-No, you don't.

-How do you know?

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Because I've known you for nearly 20 years, 20 years...

0:17:470:17:51

Yes, yes, 20 years.

0:17:510:17:54

When we first met, a pint in The Crown was £1.65, roughly.

0:17:550:17:59

That was in the '80s - late '80s.

0:17:590:18:01

It's now nearly £3. It's nearly £3 a pint, now.

0:18:010:18:06

I'm going to turn into Victor Meldrew.

0:18:060:18:09

Come on, West Ham!

0:18:090:18:10

Come on, West Ham!

0:18:120:18:15

COMMENTATOR: Try to move the ball forward.

0:18:150:18:17

Still goalless, but they're very much in the ascendancy...

0:18:170:18:21

'One of the best things about my friendship with Mark

0:18:210:18:25

'is putting up with our beloved team from the East End of London.'

0:18:250:18:29

For fuck's sake!

0:18:290:18:31

'Looks like it's not going to be West Ham's day.'

0:18:310:18:34

'I used to hate football when I was growing up.

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'I used to hate the noise and I used to make people leave early.

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'But in '93, I went to a game at Upton Park with Mark

0:18:400:18:43

'and we won promotion to the Premiership

0:18:430:18:46

'and I didn't mind the noise.'

0:18:460:18:48

'And a lovely ball, Henderson scores!'

0:18:480:18:51

-Here we go.

-Here we go.

0:18:510:18:53

'West Ham look to the linesman's flag, it was never raised.'

0:18:550:18:59

Well, it should've been raised.

0:19:000:19:03

'We've been through a lot.

0:19:030:19:06

'I don't really say how much he means to me,

0:19:060:19:09

'but he means a great deal to me.'

0:19:090:19:13

Let's turn this shit off.

0:19:130:19:15

Come on. Fuck them.

0:19:150:19:17

We don't want a fucking Israeli tosser.

0:19:170:19:20

-He has to go.

-He has to go. Fuck him.

0:19:200:19:23

The referees don't like us, though.

0:19:270:19:29

No, the referee... With Manchester United connections.

0:19:290:19:35

What do you want to do?

0:19:350:19:37

Find a bridge and jump.

0:19:380:19:40

So, yeah.

0:19:420:19:43

Too depressed to do anything.

0:19:460:19:48

TV BLARES

0:19:540:19:59

TV: It's Malcolm...

0:19:590:20:01

LAUGHTER

0:20:010:20:03

-'They're going to make you a prince!

-The Prince of Cumberland.

0:20:030:20:07

The Prince of Cumberland.

0:20:070:20:09

'I've been acting on and off for about 27 years now, I think.

0:20:130:20:18

'And I'd love to do more acting.'

0:20:180:20:20

I feel like this has helped me a lot.

0:20:200:20:24

This particular film.

0:20:240:20:26

And I want to do more

0:20:260:20:30

and show people that I've become a better actor, thanks to this.

0:20:300:20:34

TV: Wait a minute, did you say King?

0:20:340:20:38

If you could look into the seeds of time

0:20:380:20:41

at which grains will grow and which will not...

0:20:410:20:44

'I'm not blowing my own trumpet, but I don't know how I can improve.'

0:20:440:20:47

I probably have done something wrong, I could've done better, yes,

0:20:470:20:51

but, for me, I couldn't decide what I did wrong.

0:20:510:20:55

TV: Yes, it was said, myself would be the route,

0:20:550:21:00

and father of many kingdoms.

0:21:000:21:02

But hush, no more...

0:21:020:21:05

-Do you think he knows we're here?

-Yes, he does.

0:21:120:21:16

Try and look down again for me, if you can, Sam. Very good.

0:21:260:21:30

And straight ahead once more. Yeah, great.

0:21:300:21:33

Great. Sit back again for me, if you will.

0:21:330:21:37

And how's the eye?

0:21:370:21:39

Nothing's changed. I mean, some days, my right eye is good,

0:21:390:21:44

-some days, it's not so good.

-OK.

0:21:440:21:47

-In terms of vision or redness?

-Blurriness.

-OK.

0:21:470:21:53

-OK, so it varies?

-Yeah.

-OK, good.

0:21:530:21:56

Can you see what I'm showing you now?

0:21:560:21:59

-One.

-Very good.

0:21:590:22:02

How many now?

0:22:020:22:03

-Two.

-OK.

-Was it three?

-Try now.

0:22:060:22:10

-One. Two!

-That's it, if they move a bit, it's easier, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:22:140:22:18

-Can you see a change now?

-Yeah, a four.

0:22:180:22:21

Yeah, that's right. Very good, well done. Right, great.

0:22:210:22:25

'The optic nerve fibres are gradually'

0:22:250:22:27

losing their function,

0:22:270:22:29

so that the message from the eye to the brain is not transmitted,

0:22:290:22:32

and that is associated with a gradual decline in visual function.

0:22:320:22:37

Having FD is totally and utterly shit. I mean, it's absolute crap.

0:22:450:22:51

Some days, I feel absolutely pissed off and angry.

0:22:510:22:56

And you just want to lash out at somebody.

0:22:560:23:00

My eyes are buggered and it's a total nightmare,

0:23:020:23:05

but I have to accept it.

0:23:050:23:08

Those are the cards you've been dealt.

0:23:090:23:12

Stephen left when Sam was about 18 months old.

0:23:200:23:25

She was left to it and suddenly, I was straight in the middle of it,

0:23:250:23:31

and I was very happy to be there and in love.

0:23:310:23:35

But with this came the realisation that

0:23:350:23:39

this was a 24-hour thing with him.

0:23:390:23:42

Meanwhile, there was Will.

0:23:430:23:46

We both had bikes with training wheels and we would ride them

0:23:490:23:52

and race around the block in different directions

0:23:520:23:55

to, sort of, meet back in front of our house.

0:23:550:23:57

At some point, I could suddenly ride a bike,

0:23:570:23:59

and there was some Sunday when I went,

0:23:590:24:01

"Oh, I'm going to ride my bike without the wheels now."

0:24:010:24:04

And I did.

0:24:040:24:06

And that's the last day Sam ever rode his bike.

0:24:060:24:09

Sam, when young, was quite manipulative

0:24:190:24:23

and so, you were so fucked because every year,

0:24:230:24:26

when it was Will's birthday, Sam would be ill, unfailingly.

0:24:260:24:31

I remember it very clearly.

0:24:320:24:34

It just, sort of, seemed like,

0:24:340:24:36

I would like some more attention, please.

0:24:360:24:39

I mostly remember complaining about the injustice of it all.

0:24:390:24:42

Sam developed such a complicated, charming and devious personality.

0:24:440:24:48

I mean, he's no saint!

0:24:480:24:51

Underneath it all, of course, he's had a struggle the rest of us

0:24:530:24:57

can only imagine.

0:24:570:24:58

Whoops.

0:25:100:25:11

-Oh, shit.

-Be careful, popsy. Can I help?

0:25:110:25:15

You're not doing it too good.

0:25:150:25:17

-I don't know, hold on.

-It's OK.

0:25:190:25:21

-Can you hold that, please?

-Yeah, absolutely.

0:25:220:25:25

The tube is here and we've lost a bit when it...

0:25:250:25:29

Maybe it is going slightly...

0:25:290:25:31

Yes, it is now going down, I beg your pardon.

0:25:310:25:33

No, no, I beg your pardon.

0:25:330:25:35

It's now entirely dispersed.

0:25:360:25:40

Now, I want to ask about this friend.

0:25:410:25:43

SAM LAUGHS

0:25:430:25:45

You've got so many and they're all women, so I'm jealous.

0:25:450:25:48

-But what's the story?

-She's called Joanna.

-Joanna?

0:25:480:25:52

-And she does a thing called...

-Hold on, wait a minute, darling.

0:25:520:25:56

OK, I want to know about Joanna.

0:25:560:25:58

She does a thing once a month at the...

0:25:580:26:02

oh, God, Albany pub on Great Portland Street.

0:26:020:26:05

Good Lord. That was once an absolute hellhole.

0:26:050:26:08

-Is she lowlife, or what?

-Yes.

0:26:080:26:12

She used to be Harold Pinter's secretary.

0:26:120:26:16

Good Lord. You could write a play about that.

0:26:160:26:19

SAM LAUGHS

0:26:190:26:21

-And you took a shine?

-Yeah.

0:26:210:26:24

Oh, nice one. Very good.

0:26:240:26:27

-So, our old manner.

-Yeah.

0:26:310:26:34

It is an extraordinary thing, I can see the distance,

0:26:350:26:38

just to bring you in on the picture, almost Hammersmith. I know.

0:26:380:26:43

And then, Earls Court, and then there's the North Downs.

0:26:430:26:47

-The GPO tower...

-We walked up here on Christmas Day.

-We did, we certainly did.

0:26:500:26:54

With your three daughters, and they did a runner.

0:26:540:26:57

MICHAEL LAUGHS

0:26:570:26:59

One of the many pleasures of knowing and loving you, Doc, is your memory is so good.

0:27:010:27:05

I was thinking about this on the bus today.

0:27:050:27:08

'When I was living there, he and I became mates,

0:27:090:27:14

'and that's really the journey to him becoming my friend

0:27:140:27:18

'has been, I mean, really something at the heart

0:27:180:27:21

'of what I really care about. And that's what's happened.'

0:27:210:27:25

-Doc.

-Yeah.

-I'm fucking cold.

-Let's go home.

0:27:270:27:31

-Are you fucking cold?

-Yeah, I'm fucking cold.

-Good, let's fuck off.

0:27:310:27:35

They're a bit twizzly. Be careful.

0:27:450:27:49

I don't know if it's best you put your hand on my shoulder.

0:27:490:27:52

-You all right?

-Yeah.

0:27:520:27:54

-All right?

-Yeah.

-Nearly at the bottom.

0:27:590:28:03

-Hold on, one more. That's it, very good. You all right?

-Yeah.

0:28:040:28:12

Then in here.

0:28:120:28:13

So, you coming on Saturday?

0:28:180:28:20

Saturday? Yeah. We'll come for a bit.

0:28:200:28:24

-Cos neither of us are big party animals, as you know.

-Yeah.

0:28:240:28:30

-How many people are coming?

-There should be about 45, 50.

0:28:300:28:34

-Oh, right.

-But I doubt whether everyone will show up.

0:28:340:28:37

-Well, I don't know, there's normally quite a good attendance.

-Yeah.

0:28:370:28:43

The more acting you do the better,

0:28:470:28:50

and the more varied things you do the better,

0:28:500:28:53

but obviously, you're limited to what you can do,

0:28:530:28:56

but at the same time, anything that widens your experience is good.

0:28:560:29:03

Are there any acting places around here?

0:29:030:29:06

I don't know. You're more likely to know than I am.

0:29:060:29:08

I mean, I'm a recluse, I don't know.

0:29:080:29:11

But are you looking forward to it?

0:29:110:29:13

Yeah, getting back on the saddle, as they say,

0:29:130:29:16

getting back on the horse.

0:29:160:29:17

ALAN LAUGHS

0:29:170:29:21

Do you have no, do you have no...

0:29:210:29:23

..dread of it? It doesn't scare you at all?

0:29:240:29:28

Learning lines scares me,

0:29:280:29:30

but once you've... Like when I've done plays at Chicken Shed...

0:29:300:29:35

I don't think I would be able to do it.

0:29:350:29:38

Cos I was never wholly an actor. I wrote, as well,

0:29:380:29:42

but just waiting for the phone to ring must be soul destroying.

0:29:420:29:46

-Yeah.

-But then, that's a good thing

0:29:460:29:49

-if you have something else to do, as well.

-Yeah, it's true.

0:29:490:29:53

Finding things to do.

0:29:530:29:56

And not getting frustrated sitting at home.

0:29:560:29:59

# Mr Frears has sticky-out ears

0:30:070:30:12

# And it made him awful shy

0:30:140:30:18

# So they gave him medicinal compound

0:30:180:30:21

# Now he's learning how to fly

0:30:210:30:26

# We'll drink a drink, a drink To Lily the Pink, the Pink, the Pink

0:30:260:30:32

# The saviour of the human race

0:30:320:30:36

# For she invented medicinal compound

0:30:360:30:40

# Most efficacious in every case. #

0:30:400:30:44

-Hi, Uncle Sam.

-Hi!

-Welcome, Sam.

0:30:510:30:54

So, why did West Ham play so badly in the second half?

0:30:560:31:00

I don't know, I got too stressed.

0:31:000:31:02

-Cheer up, man!

-I am. I'm a happy person. I'm a happy bunny!

0:31:070:31:12

-Is there any onion tart?

-Any onion tart?

0:31:120:31:15

-That's what I had when I came here two days ago.

-Oh, my God, you come here every day.

0:31:150:31:20

-Take care. See you, boys.

-Bye, Sam.

0:31:200:31:23

-Hi, Sam.

-Hi.

0:31:240:31:25

A bit different.

0:31:280:31:30

# Big fat, big fat Frank Big fat Frankie Lampard! #

0:31:300:31:35

I'm very, very fortunate in one way and very unlucky in another way.

0:31:370:31:41

But I want to feel like a normal person.

0:31:450:31:48

I mean, I do feel like a normal person,

0:31:480:31:50

but I want to feel more human.

0:31:500:31:52

-Are we going to see a film?

-Yes. What are we going to see?

0:32:010:32:04

-I don't know.

-Is there anything shitty enough for us to go see?

0:32:040:32:08

All my friends seem to be happily married

0:32:080:32:10

and seem to be enjoying themselves

0:32:100:32:13

and I just wanted to find out a bit about what that was all like.

0:32:130:32:17

Two and a half years ago, I had this friend who found out this place -

0:32:180:32:24

Royal College Street in Camden.

0:32:240:32:26

It's where gentlemen go for some R&R, as they say.

0:32:300:32:35

Once I did it the first time,

0:32:420:32:45

I went backwards and forwards quite a few times.

0:32:450:32:50

Royal College Street made me experience the better things in life

0:32:500:32:56

and sexual fun and games, if you can call it that.

0:32:560:33:00

And I enjoyed the ride, as they say.

0:33:030:33:05

But, no...

0:33:050:33:08

I don't want to have to go back to that place.

0:33:080:33:11

I want to meet people without having to worry about...

0:33:110:33:16

Well, you know.

0:33:180:33:19

You just want that person who you can share things with

0:33:210:33:24

and have a laugh with and cry with.

0:33:240:33:27

And yeah, hold each other.

0:33:300:33:34

That's what you want.

0:33:340:33:35

Someone to share things with.

0:33:370:33:39

Someone to love.

0:33:420:33:43

-Look.

-What's up?

0:33:580:34:00

-I packed you some biscuits.

-Thank you. Aren't you sweet?

0:34:000:34:03

I am, I am. Although you insisted you didn't want any,

0:34:030:34:07

I said you will want some later,

0:34:070:34:09

you said, "No, I don't want any biscuits."

0:34:090:34:12

So easily led.

0:34:130:34:15

We're going to this place called Chicken Shed Theatre Company.

0:34:170:34:21

What are we going to see when I get there?

0:34:210:34:25

Hopefully, they'll let us walk around the stage where I did my classes.

0:34:250:34:29

Am I doing this right?

0:34:350:34:38

Oh, no. Hang on. Joanna! Hold on.

0:34:380:34:41

Oh, shit!

0:34:430:34:45

Is that more the right one?

0:34:480:34:50

Yeah, it is. It's the right one, sorry.

0:34:500:34:53

-Yeah, yeah, it's going down now. Cool.

-Yeah.

0:34:570:35:00

Are we going to the dance studio?

0:35:060:35:09

Exit.

0:35:090:35:10

-So, we'll just go in the side here.

-Oh, wow.

0:35:120:35:15

-Here we are.

-Luke, could you possibly open both doors?

0:35:150:35:20

Thank you. So, here we are.

0:35:200:35:23

This is right nice!

0:35:250:35:26

-I did loads of plays, didn't I?

-Oh, yeah.

-On this stage.

0:35:260:35:30

Absolutely. You absolutely did.

0:35:300:35:32

And your piece de resistance - A Midsummer Night's Dream.

0:35:320:35:36

Which I know you'll talk to Pete about.

0:35:360:35:38

I've already been telling Joanna about how many times we did it.

0:35:380:35:42

Yeah, yeah.

0:35:420:35:44

Erm, here, Peter Quince...

0:35:440:35:48

Doth the moon shine...

0:35:500:35:52

Doth the moon shine the night we play our play?

0:35:520:35:55

It does shine that night. I can't...

0:35:570:35:59

By larking pirates...

0:35:590:36:02

Doth the moon shine the night we play our play?

0:36:040:36:09

-It doth shine that night.

-Yes!

0:36:090:36:11

Yes, it does.

0:36:120:36:14

It does.

0:36:160:36:17

I found it very hard because I couldn't remember all my lines.

0:36:200:36:25

It shows how long it's been since I said any of those lines.

0:36:250:36:29

I don't think you let anyone down.

0:36:320:36:35

See, when you play Sam Frears, you can get away with anything.

0:36:350:36:39

It's all your lines, isn't it?

0:36:390:36:41

It's all my lines.

0:36:420:36:45

-Was that your hand on my bottom, Sam?

-No, it's your hand on mine!

0:36:450:36:49

Oh, shoot!

0:37:090:37:11

You don't want sympathy, you just want people to be proud of you.

0:37:400:37:45

You just want to feel good in your self.

0:37:450:37:49

I've got to try to become a proper professional actor.

0:37:490:37:52

Try and get out there, try and get noticed by people.

0:37:520:37:54

You want to say to people, "Yes, I can do that".

0:37:560:37:58

Not through who my parents are or things like that,

0:37:580:38:02

you want to be able to do things for yourself.

0:38:020:38:05

That's what I want.

0:38:050:38:07

MACHINE BEEPS

0:38:070:38:09

Wicked.

0:38:240:38:26

Thanks. I got a phone call from Chicken Shed

0:38:280:38:30

-on that day after I spoke to you.

-And they said?

0:38:300:38:33

-They asked me if I'd like to do it.

-How many lines have you got?

0:38:330:38:37

-None.

-None?

-None at the moment.

0:38:370:38:40

-You wouldn't get Morris there.

-I know!

0:38:400:38:43

So, how long do we have to wait before we come and see you?

0:38:430:38:47

-March.

-March?

-But I might not be here.

0:38:470:38:50

-I know.

-Oh, dear.

0:38:500:38:51

I might not be here. Anyway, that's very good, Sam.

0:38:540:38:57

Very, very good.

0:38:590:39:00

It's exciting stuff for me at the moment, Dad.

0:39:000:39:05

I'm quite excited.

0:39:050:39:07

All right. Are you standing up?

0:39:070:39:11

-Yeah, I've got to stretch my legs.

-But I haven't paid the bill.

0:39:110:39:15

THEY SING

0:39:190:39:21

Reaching up!

0:39:210:39:23

We started rehearsing last week to do a play called The King's Web.

0:39:310:39:35

I think I've still got the energy to do this play

0:39:350:39:38

and it's good to be back in the saddle

0:39:380:39:40

because I've not done any acting since the film I did last year.

0:39:400:39:44

So, it does feel good to keep working,

0:39:440:39:48

to do things and keep your foot in the game.

0:39:480:39:51

-Was that all right?

-Yeah. Well, I don't know.

0:39:540:39:57

-It was good, yeah.

-It was all right.

0:39:570:40:00

It's part of my routine - going to hospitals,

0:40:060:40:09

even if it's just for a couple hours.

0:40:090:40:12

It's something I have to bear with, and here I am doing it.

0:40:120:40:18

A thing called a gastrostomy tube

0:40:190:40:21

and it can be changed only once a year.

0:40:210:40:24

-Hey, Sam.

-Hi.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

0:40:260:40:30

You going to cope? Let's go.

0:40:300:40:32

One year, Mum couldn't come, so Julian offered to come.

0:40:360:40:41

I like him being there.

0:40:410:40:43

-You feeling all right about it?

-Yeah.

0:40:430:40:46

It's kind of routine for you now, isn't it?

0:40:460:40:49

-Yeah, but I start feeling a bit nervous.

-I know, I know.

0:40:490:40:52

-Do you want to follow me, Mr Frears? I'll take you through?

-OK.

0:40:520:40:57

Here we go.

0:40:590:41:01

Are we going straight in?

0:41:010:41:03

No, no, no. Don't panic, you'll be fine.

0:41:030:41:07

OK. Do you want to have a sit down or a lie down?

0:41:110:41:14

I don't know. I'll have a sit down.

0:41:140:41:16

You feeling all right?

0:41:180:41:19

I wish they'd come in and do the things.

0:41:230:41:27

I want to get this thing moving.

0:41:270:41:29

Good luck, Sam.

0:41:380:41:40

-You just relax, Sam.

-I want my mum, I want my mum.

0:41:430:41:46

It's fine. Just hang on to his hand. He likes lots of reassurance.

0:41:460:41:49

-I can't feel anything.

-OK, you're doing well.

0:41:490:41:52

-You're fine, you just relax, relax.

-What's happening?

0:41:520:41:56

I'm giving you some sedation now, OK?

0:41:560:41:58

You relax there, Sam. Just relax.

0:41:580:42:02

So, we'll push that in there.

0:42:060:42:08

Then, we have to feed it

0:42:080:42:09

-through the tube.

-Argh!

0:42:090:42:11

-Try and relax.

-You're doing really well.

0:42:110:42:14

OK, so we've got it in there.

0:42:140:42:16

Can I just have another little...?

0:42:160:42:19

-I want it out!

-Deep breaths.

-We are taking it out now.

0:42:190:42:22

We're bringing this tube out there now.

0:42:220:42:26

Just a little discomfort.

0:42:260:42:28

That's the old tube we've taken out. You see, it's very discoloured.

0:42:280:42:32

You've done very nicely.

0:42:320:42:34

We're going to push in slowly through the little hole,

0:42:340:42:37

just very gently.

0:42:370:42:39

Good, now, that's nicely in now.

0:42:420:42:45

That didn't upset you too much, Sam? Not too bad?

0:42:450:42:49

-No milk for me.

-That's yours. Let me give you a little stir.

0:42:580:43:02

PHONE RINGS

0:43:020:43:03

-Thank you.

-I'm not answering that.

0:43:030:43:07

It might be Kylie Minogue.

0:43:070:43:09

I'd love to see you and Kylie at it. I mean, erm...

0:43:120:43:16

-Sorry, I didn't mean to say that.

-You're Mr Smooth, you really are.

0:43:160:43:20

Well, you and I could do Especially For You, a new version.

0:43:200:43:23

You've got to do an Australian accent.

0:43:230:43:25

You know when they start, they start like this, don't they?

0:43:250:43:28

And then they go - # Especially... # Can you do it?

0:43:280:43:32

# I wanna let you know what I was going through... #

0:43:320:43:35

No, stop it, stop it!

0:43:350:43:37

# ..All the time we were apart I thought of you...

0:43:370:43:42

BOTH: # You were in my heart! #

0:43:420:43:46

You can't hit those notes! I can't remember the words.

0:43:460:43:50

I think they do a twirl, there's definitely a twirl.

0:43:500:43:53

I'll make it up. # ..And the loneliness inside

0:43:530:43:57

# I want to tell you it's not... #

0:43:570:44:00

-I said I'm playing Jason!

-I thought you were playing Kylie!

0:44:000:44:05

Oh, no, oh, no. Look, a stand-off. Two Jasons.

0:44:050:44:09

No, I was, I was. I'm teasing.

0:44:090:44:12

-And then, it's around.

-Yeah.

-Beautiful.

0:44:120:44:16

I'm sure they did it a lot smoother!

0:44:160:44:18

I'm not a very good dancer.

0:44:180:44:20

Neither am I we'd make a great couple on the dance floor.

0:44:200:44:24

And then they wrestled to the floor, and it's another show altogether!

0:44:240:44:30

# ..I wanna let you know what I was going through

0:44:300:44:35

# All the time we were apart I thought... #

0:44:350:44:38

I'm trying to do my Australian accent.

0:44:380:44:41

# ..You were in my arms

0:44:410:44:43

# Now that I'm next you... #

0:44:430:44:45

-Solo!

-I can't do it!

0:44:450:44:49

Solo, your solo! It's your moment.

0:44:490:44:52

I can't do it! Oh, come on!

0:44:520:44:56

No, don't put me, don't put me. I can't do it either, I can't do it.

0:44:580:45:02

I never realised how badly you sang, actually.

0:45:020:45:04

I didn't quite realise you sung that badly.

0:45:040:45:07

No-one's heard my singing before.

0:45:070:45:10

-Happy New Year!

-Happy New Year, darling!

0:45:120:45:16

Oh, my God, it's crowded.

0:45:250:45:27

Oh, my God.

0:45:300:45:31

Drug squad and everything. Excuse me. Thank you.

0:45:310:45:34

Do you want that deli or the Italian?

0:45:340:45:37

-But the deli don't do proper food, does it?

-No.

0:45:390:45:43

I mean, everywhere's going to be busy, anyway.

0:45:430:45:46

We've been walking up and down the street like a pair of tits.

0:45:460:45:50

Keep your hair on! Oh, sorry, you ain't got any.

0:45:500:45:53

All sandwiches are served with French fries. But I want chips.

0:45:530:45:58

-Same thing.

-No, they're not.

0:45:580:46:01

The difference between a French fry and a chip

0:46:010:46:04

is French fries are thin, chips are thick.

0:46:040:46:07

What a load of baloney!

0:46:070:46:09

-They're like you - thick.

-Taste like normal.

0:46:100:46:12

Thank you.

0:46:120:46:14

-Ketchup, please. I got served first, I got served first!

-That's not fair.

0:46:160:46:21

I got served first!

0:46:210:46:23

How do you know it's yours?

0:46:230:46:25

-She didn't say, did she?

-I can see the egg.

0:46:250:46:29

Ah, you see, your eyes are working perfectly fine.

0:46:300:46:33

This is fun.

0:46:340:46:36

So, you've gone off Royal College Street now then? Got bored of it?

0:46:410:46:46

Yeah, I think I have.

0:46:480:46:49

Come on, spill the beans, then.

0:46:510:46:55

-In your own time.

-Because someone said that...

0:46:550:46:58

..I can't have a relationship if I go to Royal College Street.

0:47:020:47:07

What's the thing with you and Joanna, then?

0:47:070:47:10

We're just mates.

0:47:100:47:11

We're just mates.

0:47:130:47:14

I got the impression that she was teasing you.

0:47:140:47:18

-Yeah, you said that.

-Yeah.

-But I think it takes two.

0:47:180:47:24

Well, she's a bit of a flirty bird, ain't she?

0:47:240:47:27

I'm not a flirty bird, but I'm a flirty bloke.

0:47:270:47:29

You don't seem to be, er...

0:47:290:47:31

You've got nothing to worry about when it comes to her.

0:47:310:47:35

I know what you're like, Sam.

0:47:370:47:39

I know what you're like, from college and stuff.

0:47:390:47:42

I know how you get attached to people.

0:47:420:47:45

And it's just a natural... It's natural for you to get...

0:47:450:47:49

You see her quite a lot, you know. I know what it's like.

0:47:490:47:53

You get feelings for someone, but it's only on one side.

0:47:540:48:01

But it's cool that you're friends, though.

0:48:030:48:06

It's really good.

0:48:060:48:08

I've always done stupid things with other women in the past.

0:48:240:48:28

I've always mucked everything up.

0:48:280:48:31

I should have learnt my lesson like that.

0:48:310:48:33

I don't want to ruin that thing of being friends with her

0:48:350:48:39

and thinking you can get somewhere else.

0:48:390:48:42

I know I can't go there

0:48:420:48:44

and I've got to accept that we're always going to be mates

0:48:440:48:48

and that's all I want cos I know nothing else will ever happen.

0:48:480:48:53

How's it going?

0:49:160:49:17

It's going well, it's going fine.

0:49:170:49:19

-I'm dreading this.

-Why?

0:49:190:49:22

-I don't know.

-It's just another crap party.

0:49:220:49:26

No, just another party. I don't know. It's like work, you know?

0:49:260:49:31

-Hello, Sam.

-Hello.

-How you doing?

0:49:450:49:48

Well, my eyes, some days are blurry and some days are not blurry.

0:49:520:49:57

And when they're blurry, I can't see that well.

0:49:570:50:02

-It's only voices that let me know where I am.

-OK.

0:50:040:50:08

-Down and back.

-Two, three, four,

0:50:200:50:24

five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...

0:50:240:50:30

Five to go.

0:50:300:50:32

..12, 13, 14.

0:50:320:50:35

Nice one, Sam.

0:50:350:50:36

-I've learnt my lesson when it comes to women.

-You have?

-Yeah.

0:50:400:50:44

Don't trust them?

0:50:450:50:46

You can lose someone you care about...

0:50:480:50:50

..due to the fact that you're...

0:50:520:50:54

..you have feelings for that person

0:50:570:51:00

and you think just because you get on well with someone all the time,

0:51:000:51:04

you think you can have a relationship with them.

0:51:040:51:08

Yeah, it's hard.

0:51:080:51:09

But then, if you don't try, then nothing's ever going to happen.

0:51:120:51:17

I'm not going to do it - ask her.

0:51:170:51:19

I can't... I can't...

0:51:210:51:26

Three, four, five, six.

0:51:260:51:29

I can't handle losing another friend.

0:51:290:51:32

Seven, eight, nine, ten.

0:51:320:51:35

Especially a best friend, like her.

0:51:350:51:38

11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

0:51:380:51:43

We have such a good, funny relationship.

0:52:000:52:02

It would knock it for six if I...

0:52:020:52:05

You have to decide what you're happy with

0:52:070:52:10

in relation to her.

0:52:100:52:13

You know, sometimes, things just develop or they don't.

0:52:190:52:23

Yeah.

0:52:230:52:24

-It says make sure it's true.

-Yeah.

0:52:350:52:38

And remember, it's supposed to be fun.

0:52:380:52:41

A funny story or poem or collection of comments.

0:52:410:52:45

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the theatre!

0:52:450:52:49

Then, you want to put in your ideal partner.

0:52:490:52:51

For instance, does she have to be a West Ham supporter?

0:52:510:52:54

-Er...

-That's a difficult one, isn't it?

0:52:540:52:57

-As long as they don't support Millwall or Chelsea.

-Right, OK.

0:52:570:53:01

No Millwall supporters.

0:53:010:53:03

Someone said, "How do you think Joanna will feel

0:53:080:53:10

"when you're starting this new adventure?"

0:53:100:53:14

But I realise that, much as I'm very fond of Joanna,

0:53:140:53:17

I know that nothing will ever develop.

0:53:170:53:22

So, I've got to broaden my mind and try and meet some women another way.

0:53:220:53:28

Does the age matter?

0:53:300:53:32

-Around about my age.

-About your age.

0:53:320:53:34

-Don't mind a bit younger.

-Right.

0:53:340:53:37

A good sense of humour.

0:53:370:53:38

-Yeah, a sense of humour is important, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:53:380:53:43

So, how would you describe yourself?

0:53:430:53:46

Ambitious, not arrogant.

0:53:460:53:51

Not arrogant, that's good.

0:53:510:53:53

I'd say I've got a bit of a good repartee.

0:53:550:53:58

-I think that's fair.

-Certainly not athletic.

0:53:580:54:00

Not athletic, no.

0:54:000:54:03

-OK.

-Partially sighted.

0:54:040:54:06

-With a few other problems.

-Mmm-hmm.

0:54:090:54:12

OK. Well, you might get an e-mail next week with a lady saying,

0:54:140:54:19

"I'd like to meet you at a restaurant of your choice."

0:54:190:54:23

The ball's in their court.

0:54:230:54:25

Well, still in my court, but hopefully, it'll be served over.

0:54:250:54:28

The ball's in your court, but you need to knock it over the net

0:54:280:54:31

-and see if it comes back.

-Yeah.

0:54:310:54:34

-I think it'll be worthwhile.

-Let's go for it!

-You'll be very successful.

0:54:340:54:38

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

0:54:380:54:40

Yeah, it's an adventure and this is the first step.

0:54:400:54:44

-You have to go out there.

-Get yourself out there.

0:54:440:54:48

Have we got enough time for all the melons?

0:54:540:54:57

Yes, at the rate we're going, we'll soon be through them.

0:54:570:55:00

People say to me 39 is a good age.

0:55:050:55:08

The only thing about 39 is you realise you're nearer to 40.

0:55:080:55:13

I get very nervous before parties.

0:55:130:55:17

First thing, you get worried that no-one's going to show up.

0:55:170:55:20

You don't want to be one of those sad people sat alone looking at the CDs.

0:55:200:55:25

I'll see what happens with internet dating.

0:55:270:55:32

There's somebody there for everyone.

0:55:320:55:34

I'm getting older and I don't know,

0:55:340:55:37

maybe I've grown up going for the girls that I know I can't get.

0:55:370:55:43

-Are you ready for your public, Sam?

-As ready as I can be.

0:55:430:55:48

As long as I've got my little fellas with me - my little Valiums.

0:55:480:55:52

Do you think I should take them? I think I might, actually.

0:55:560:56:00

I don't know why I'm nervous, but I am a bit.

0:56:010:56:06

I shouldn't be.

0:56:080:56:10

But I am.

0:56:100:56:12

Started feeling a bit...

0:56:120:56:14

Right, let's go.

0:56:140:56:16

-Hi, Sam! Happy birthday!

-Happy birthday!

-Thank you.

0:56:190:56:22

-Oh, look at that!

-West Ham!

0:56:220:56:26

-Thank you.

-There you go, darling.

0:56:280:56:31

-Hello!

-Hello! Nearly a rhyme.

0:56:320:56:36

-How are you?

-I'm all right, Alan. How are you?

0:56:360:56:38

-How was...?

-Hang on.

-New York?

0:56:380:56:41

Hello.

0:56:410:56:42

DOORBELL RINGS

0:56:420:56:46

-I'll go.

-You'll go and get it?

-Yeah.

0:56:460:56:48

Hey!

0:56:490:56:51

DOORBELL RINGS

0:56:510:56:53

I told you, didn't I?

0:56:530:56:55

Yeah, all right. I'm not deaf!

0:56:550:56:58

I need some Valium, man!

0:56:580:57:00

-Happy birthday!

-Thanks.

0:57:010:57:03

Hopefully, what will happen is I'll do this play at Chicken Shed and it will be a real hit.

0:57:040:57:09

I feel like I can do it cos I'm feeling healthy and good in myself.

0:57:090:57:12

So, I want to do a lot more.

0:57:120:57:14

Hopefully, West Ham get out of relegation. That might not happen!

0:57:140:57:18

That would be fantastic.

0:57:180:57:20

Looks like everyone's having fun.

0:57:220:57:25

# Happy birthday to you! #

0:57:280:57:32

I feel unlucky because I've got this illness

0:57:340:57:38

that stops me doing things that I want to do.

0:57:380:57:40

But then I feel very lucky cos I've met so many extraordinary, nice people in my life.

0:57:400:57:47

I've got some very good and dear friends who I owe a lot to.

0:57:470:57:52

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:57:520:57:56

-I need somebody, I can't...

-Michael!

0:57:560:57:59

-Go on, Doc!

-One, two... One, two, three!

0:58:000:58:04

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:58:040:58:09

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:58:230:58:26

E-mail [email protected]

0:58:260:58:29

It's been a pleasure!

0:58:290:58:31

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