A Dad is Born Wonderland

This programme contains some strong language

Ready? Come zip me up. It's the only bit you can't do yourself.

It's not bad for a pregnant woman being able to do that zip up.

It's bloody hard!

Greg is a multi-millionaire trader whose girlfriend is expecting a baby in four weeks.

Who's your daddy, who's your daddy?

Viktor is a minicab driver from Hungary who'll become a father for the first time in ten days.

Yes!

Jamie is a recruitment consultant whose first child is due in two months' time.

These men are all determined to become involved, caring dads.

But they all know this isn't going to be straightforward or easy.

BABY MONITOR BEEPS

Hello, hello? Hello!

I wanted to follow the experience of birth purely from the fathers' point of view

and see how babies change men.

The first 20-48 hours.

The key secretions the baby has swallowed could make her choke

and sometimes turn blue...

Yes, I read that bit.

Basically constant panicking, isn't it?

Jamie, not all men read baby books on the way to work.

No.

I feel like if I didn't read, as a couple we wouldn't know much at all.

-Do you take the lion's share of that?

-Yes.

I said before, I feel knowledge is power in that scenario even though

when it comes to the birth it will not count for anything.

I feel more comfortable the more I know and Nicky feels comfortable the more I know.

It said in the book, when you take the baby home for the first few days

it might cough up some mucus and choke a bit.

If I didn't know what to do, I would crap myself!

The baby starts turning blue and coughing and choking,

I wouldn't know to hit it on the back,

are you going to hurt it or whatever.

Are you trying to defend yourself

-and ward off later panic by preparing now?

-Yeah, totally.

-Do they think you are a big softy in the office?

-Yes! Yes, massively.

Will you be leaving before baby gets up,

coming back after baby goes to bed?

Realistically, yes.

I will probably be third in the pecking order.

I'm quite keen to make sure that doesn't happen.

Jamie says his greatest fear is his baby will reject him

if they don't share enough bonding time in the early weeks.

How long is it till baby comes?

Three days left, three or four days but it feels like forever.

At the same time, any time, any second.

So, we are sleepless now, not because we have the baby

but because we don't have the baby yet.

Of all three men, Viktor seemed the most unlikely convert

to fatherhood and family life.

I used to have a feeling like every woman in the world is mine.

I'm just not able to use all of them or do all of them,

but I still have them.

Maybe if I have time, if I have the feeling

and want to take them, I can take them.

I have this weird feeling and if I saw someone in the road

that was a good-looking girl I used to think,

"I could fuck her like thunder."

And I loved to think this way.

Seriously, I literally saw the picture in my head,

how could I give her what I want to give her?

Viktor now works 70 hours a week as a London minicab driver

to make a home for his girlfriend Melinda,

and he claims imminent fatherhood has changed him.

I wanted to be loved by everyone

but today I just want her love only.

Because nothing and no-one is more important than she is.

Melinda is the person who was going to be with me forever.

'Get ready, because what you are about to learn may just change your life.

'Over 100,000 people from over 80 countries

'have learned from this man how to change their lives forever.

'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr Greg Secker.'

-Are you guys excited?

-Yes.

-Let's make some money.

Cable short positions, touching the pivot, dropping down.

The trades you want to get into.

Greg is a motivational speaker who runs a business coaching people to make money trading.

He has spoken alongside Donald Trump and Richard Branson.

Thank you all for being here. We will communicate throughout the day. Have fun. See you soon.

Greg is in the middle of a divorce, expecting a baby with his girlfriend,

and working almost non-stop.

OK, off we trot. Jump in the other side, there's a kiddie seat there.

-Is this your main car?

-No, this is my baby car,

hence the baby seat.

I have a Lamborghini Murcielago SV which is a real toy, I should show you that.

It's a real pretty little thing... it's a massive thing.

But it's a proper man car.

How is that trade doing, Lulu? Is it still going down...? Fuck, yes!

Open up the account, tell me the number. That's a winner. Chicken, chicken dinner.

Sorry, folks. We are up 5,700.

We should probably consider taking that.

Lucy, you're going to close your first trade.

Where that line says 5,700, yeah?

That's the only trade on there.

We need to bank that. You are going to hit close. Just take the money. Hit close.

-"The trade was placed successfully."

-Yeah, baby! How much did we make?

Give us a high-five. You just made six grand.

There's the head. Hasn't engaged yet. Sitting in a nice position.

This is Greg and Cathy's 36-week scan.

Just say send the money, it will be in the account in five minutes

and then...

I don't know why he wants me to do it. Yeah, that can happen. I am tired out.

Cool, OK, thanks. Bye.

Another three kilos since...

It would be last month.

-Hm?

-Hm.

Although this is Cathy's first baby, Greg is already a father.

He is not only separated from his wife but also an infant son.

Because Greg, you have already had a child

-and you knew how that affected your relationship.

-Yeah.

-No?

-Yeah. HORN TOOTS

Cath is very focused on the baby fitting in with us

and not just everything being all about the baby. That's important.

And it's not like "I'm having a baby" and all my attention...

It's like "we're having a baby."

We both share all of the... You know, love and attention.

Even though you'll be out working a little bit more. But...

But still it's not like, not like he'll replace you.

How could anyone replace you?

The baby inside there is already bigger than I am.

I think so!

Aw...

Big watermelon in there.

-Does she always cook for you?

-Yes. Yes.

It's the best thing. A woman is not a real woman if she doesn't cook.

I'm sorry if I offend anyone with that but I just feel that way.

I cannot take any girl serious if she doesn't cook

because it's so good to feel the care.

-You are going to be a daddy.

-It's more than that.

Because the daddy, everyone can use that word

but I feel some kind of like...

I'm going to have a chance to make it right, first of all.

Because of my dad. And secondly, I'm going to have a family.

Are you scared?

No. Not at all. I'm like...

When you are just imagining what the sportsman, you know,

the runner, the world champion runner feels before the gunshot,

you know, just swearing, "OK, let's go, let's go, let's go now, come on, I want to do this challenge."

And I just feel that tension in me.

I just want to have her, I just want to go on this journey with her.

# Takes a day to make you yawn Brother... #

Viktor had worked an 18-hour day,

but he still insisted on driving me home.

He was concerned about a woman's safety so late at night.

# But it takes you years to know what love is

# And it takes some fears to make you trust

# It takes those tears to make you rust

# It takes the dust to have it polished... #

HE SINGS ALONG

# And la-la-la-la-la-la Life is wonderful

# La-la-la-la-la-la Life goes full circle

# La-la-la-la-la-la... #

Viktor's father had been a violent alcoholic

who left the family when he was a child.

I never learned how I can be a good father,

but I learned what I don't want to be.

And now I know what I do not want to be.

I felt him so strong, and he was strong when he broke the door...

..which was the protection from him, and I had to run.

So I don't want to be that father, I want to be the gentle one.

Is your father still alive?

He just died a few weeks ago.

And...I felt nothing.

I felt actually anger more than, you know, sorry or anything,

because he just could escape.

Cos I never got him, I never could...

Could talk to him about my real...

Real feelings. How much he hurt...

Hurt us. And...

You know, when you're preparing some speech to someone for years,

and when he's gone, you just say, "Fuck!"

Really. That's it.

So how close do you live to your little boy?

Um, very close. I'll show you where he lives.

Was he aware when you split up with his mum?

-Was he...?

-Aware.

-No.

He was only about 18 months old, so...

Um...yeah, and we've tried to really protect him from that.

Now he's nearly three, for him, his memory is that, you know,

I don't live in his house.

He comes and stays at mine, and he has a little room at mine.

Actually we're redecorating his room at the moment.

'Greg's very close to his first child,

'and always wanted me to film them together,

'but a week before his new baby's due,

'a letter arrives from his wife's legal team forbidding it.'

So do you have any fears that that might happen again, second time round?

Yeah, I suppose so. I mean, everyone...

I'm in a very different relationship now

and I kind of feel like you can't live in that fear,

you've just got to roll the dice, and life is a gamble,

and who knows what happens in five years' or ten years' time.

But I truly...

For me, I fell in love for the first time when I met Cathy. So, um...

I'd never felt like that before, you know?

For me it was always very safe being in relationships.

If they didn't work out, well, I'm OK, Jack. I'm not going to fall to bits.

Whereas with Cath, if it didn't work out, I think I would fall to bits.

Here we are.

We've only been together just over a year,

maybe 16 months or something like that.

-When our energies are together we're like...

-WHISTLES

-Did you plan to have a baby together?

-Yeah. Yeah.

-Very quickly, then.

-Yeah.

We met, within four months or five months I remember saying,

you know, "why don't we have a baby?" And, er...

-Greg was like, "Oh, I really want a baby," and I was like, "All right."

-Did you want a baby to trap her?

No! Um... I just, it kind of felt right.

I kind of always resented the fact that I had an amazing,

amazing little boy, but I wasn't truly in love.

I thought it would be great to have a family with someone you were really in love with.

So, yeah, kind of felt...right, you know?

And this is the baby's room!

So obviously you can see what the theme is, a little sailor theme.

Sailor! Sailor or beach theme.

But my favourite part of the whole room is actually the clothes,

because I like doing this with my own clothes, anyway,

but how cute are little baby clothes?

Look! A Ferrari outfit.

No guessing who bought that one.

And then what else? What's really cute?

Do you know what your issue is now?

-I'm seeing an issue.

-Yeah.

You'll notice the issue here. If I try and wheel the buggy out...

You've got a big issue there.

Baby's not coming in the dining room!

That's the thing, is we need to push this all back.

No, we need to get rid of that carpet.

I told you, I've been asking you for months to fix that.

That's why I wanted that space in the dining room clear,

-so we've got somewhere.

-So you march down here,

sling it over your shoulder when you're in the shops.

-There's no way I can carry that.

-I think it's rather nifty.

With the baby?! How am I going to carry that?

-Bloody hell, I can hardly lift it!

-Don't pick it up!

-Wow, God, this is amazing, isn't it?

-It is. Do you like the colour?

-It's brilliant!

-It's neutral duck egg.

So girl or boy.

-Neutral duck egg?

-Moses basket...

-Looks like blue to me.

-No, it's not blue!

-Don't say that.

-Sorry.

-I've read four books.

-Four books?

-Dad, you know, I'm on my fourth at the moment.

-How many books can you read?

-There's a lot out there.

-It's not just the "having the baby", it's the "what to do after the baby".

-Yeah.

The "having the baby" bit will happen regardless, one way or the other.

So what bits of "what to do after?"

-How to stop it crying, get it to sleep, get sleep routines going, hold it correctly...

-Oh, Jamie!

There's millions of stuff.

You're going to lose loads of sleep.

That... All part and parcel of the... But, you know...

I didn't.

-It was just...

-You didn't lose...?!

-..Chilled.

How did you know what to do without knowing any knowledge?

Well, I... No, I didn't. It was just sort of common-sense stuff.

I just want to make sure... I was reading this bit in the book where it said

-if your baby starts choking on mucus, how to deal with it.

-Oh, God!

The important thing is...

is make sure you've got plenty of wine!

BOTH LAUGH

Ha, I've done that wrong.

Oh, why is life so difficult?

Ow, fuck!

PULSATING NOISE OF AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT

OK, OK, OK, OK.

Is there anyone who's coming?

MUSICAL BUZZER BLEEPS

Hello?

-Hi.

-Hello, good morning. Oh, sorry. Maybe it was the wrong one. Sorry.

It's the number four, yeah, you were right.

I feel really smaller!

PULSATING NOISE RESUMES

BED CREAKS

WHEEZING

WHEEZING CONTINUES

SHE GROANS

PULSATING NOISE CONTINUES

Keep coming, keep coming, keep coming, keep coming, keep coming.

Make it longer, longer, longer.

SHE GASPS

-Make it harder, harder, longer, longer.

-SHE STRAINS

Harder, longer, harder, longer.

-SHE SCREAMS

-Longer, longer, longer.

Longer, longer, longer, longer. Keep coming, another one, another one. Keep coming.

SHE MOANS

Push for me now.

SHE GROANS

-Push still?

-Push, push.

-Push for me now.

SHE MOANS

HE SOBS AND MUMBLES

BABY WAILS

Congratulations, that's your baby.

BOTH SOB

That's your baby.

SHE MURMURS TO BABY

-Put it there? Is OK?

-Harder, yeah. Cut harder... That's it.

HE SOBS

SPEAKING IN HUNGARIAN

You'll be all right, she'll be all right. OK, Dad?

Greg's baby's due to be delivered by elective Caesarean tomorrow

at the private Portland Hospital.

But today, his business is in crisis

and he's in the middle of replacing an entire department.

ENGINE ROARS

There I am with the speakers day after day training and training and training those guys

to squeeze the orange but the guys that are filling up the orange juicer aren't chucking enough oranges in.

So many people want a fucking easy life

and they don't realise they're robbing themselves cos if you're slack, you become a slacker.

-COMPUTER:

-Warning, fixed safety camera. Speed limit - 30.

Say that again?

It says that you should never sleep together

on a sofa, armchair or settee.

It increases the risk of cot death 50 times.

50 times?!

That's mildly terrifying.

Jamie's baby is now six days late.

And some of the information he has absorbed about parenthood

is beginning to backfire and give him nightmares.

It's 15th of September 2011.

It's about 8:37.

Your epidural has been in for about eight minutes. Probably about...

I can feel it starting to go into my feet now.

I reckon you will be in there about 8:45, in about ten minutes.

I reckon he'll be with us before nine o'clock.

-I just really don't want to feel any...

-You won't feel anything.

People always ask me, "Can I do this?"

And the answer is, "Yes, you can...

"IF you know two things - what to do and when to do it."

Congratulations.

BABY MEWLING

I'll get back down there.

BABY CRIES

All right.

I reckon if you go from that angle there, you can get us, all three.

Can you get it?

You might have to come round more that way.

I just sent it to 4,900-odd.

-How many?

-4,900. On Facebook.

# She don't want to go outside

# Tonight... #

BABY CRIES

WOMAN CRYING >

She's crying.

She's crying because she... Because she's wrong.

She's really, really, really...

It won't be good if she gonna keep blaming herself about anything.

-But she does.

-Is she cutting her fingernails?

-Yeah, yeah.

Because she don't want to hurt the baby.

I hear... CLICKING

This. This noise mean she cut them off.

I know she is actually less confident than I.

I can bluff. I can do it.

And I keep inside how scared I am.

And sometimes this confidence leads me

and helps me through certain things.

It's just so painful to see her blame herself, which is wrong.

I know this whole thing is just...

It is just something what we need to learn, I believe.

The next day, Jamie called.

His wife's waters had broken over dinner at Pizza Express.

OK. Car park, it's getting a bit pricey.

-How much is it?

-35 quid.

You'll probably be in here overnight. Of course you will.

That'll be 50 quid, won't it?

I'm waiting for it to all go pear-shaped.

Do you generally think things are going to go pear-shaped?

Well, no-one ever tells you a nice story about giving birth.

No-one tells you it's going to be a magical event that you'll love.

Everyone tells you that you have got to get over it.

You've got to get over the first three months.

And then when the child is about 16, you start enjoying parenthood.

I could have picked a better birthing outfit. I look ridiculous.

Trackie bottoms and a grubby T-shirt. And my horrible trainers.

-See you in a bit.

-Bye.

Someone said to me in the office yesterday when I was leaving,

I left a boy and returned a father.

'While I was waiting for Jamie's baby to be born,

'I met another man who was about to have his first child.

'His wife was in labour in the room right next door to Jamie's.'

Do you feel like a boy or a man now?

No, I just feel like a... a scared kid.

I feel immensely proud, I feel immensely happy

and immensely terrified all at the same time.

Another three or four hours more and that's it done.

-Do you know what you are having?

-A boy. A boy.

-Is that good?

No, actually, I wanted to have a daughter. I wanted a daughter, but...

But they always say that, er...

you don't always get what you want.

You seem to be taking it all quite calmly.

Em, I really don't feel actually overly calm...

It's just that it's long

and everyone said it goes really quickly when you're sitting there,

the hours fly by - they don't.

Stuff like special reassuring holds on the back of her shoulder

and breathing...just...

Just be there and try and be as supportive as you can.

-How have the special reassuring holds gone down?

-Terribly!

She thought I was trying to put some sort of nerve grip in place.

Um, well, all my training hasn't paid off.

'Please help us to try to protect our patients. Gel your hands.'

Whether he likes it or not, my father has done me a massive service.

In what way?

Showed me what not to do.

-What would you do differently with your son?

-Be more involved.

Definitely more involved.

Ten centimetres. Starting to budge.

-So what happened?

-They had a baby girl.

-Oh, have they? I told you!

-Your turn.

-Yes, I know. Baby boy happening here.

After all his extensive preparations,

Jamie's wife's labour was relatively straightforward.

BABY CRIES

-No, that's horrible.

-What do you mean? I think that's a good one.

I'm going to call Dad.

We'll send a better picture.

When does it all kick in?

As in, when do you start feeling like...?

I don't feel like a dad.

Even though I am.

Think it's when you do all the changing and stuff.

-Maybe it's different for men?

-Yeah.

Lionel's wife ended up having an emergency Caesarean after a very long and difficult labour.

-Hey, guys.

-Congratulations.

-Thanks.

-Are you OK?

-Oh! Don't ask.

-Been a bit of a marathon, hasn't it?

-It's been a tough time. A tough time.

Been through hell and back.

And now?

Er...

..heaven is there.

It's good.

-Are you all right?

-I'm...

-Been hard?

-It's tough. I can't say that much.

-Speak to you later.

I'll catch up with you.

I made a promise to my wife that I wouldn't let her suffer,

that I'll stand by her.

And I don't like to break my promises. So...

I've been unable to do anything to take the pain away.

It was absolutely killing me,

and knowing that you can't do anything doesn't really help.

"Just the knowledge of this helps", but it doesn't really help.

Hey, guys.

I think the dad thing's going to kick in tomorrow morning.

I'm a dad. Can you believe it?

Can you believe it?

Amazing. It's amazing.

-SAT NAV:

-You are leaving the congestion charging zone.

I should be in Australia now.

I'm supposed to be speaking with Donald Trump

and Richard Kiyosaki tomorrow.

My biggest gig in my whole life I'm missing.

If I speak I'd probably make £2 million in 90 minutes.

And then go down to Melbourne and do £1.5 million.

So, yeah, this week's costing me about £3.5 million,

which is pretty hectic, isn't it?

I'll get another chance next year, I suppose.

-Was that a no-brainer for you or did you feel...?

-It was a no-brainer.

Family comes first.

I would give up these days, but £3.5 million's a big old price to pay.

This would be a new house.

A trust fund. An education up to the age of 18.

When you look at it in that respect you think, "Hmm."

Greg's cleared his diary for the next two weeks to spend time at home with Kathy and the baby.

BABY GURGLES

You'll probably hear the heartbeat thing. We've got the...

We downloaded an app on the iPad.

We put an iPad in the cot but it's got various different sounds.

So it's a continuous heartbeat.

It's meant to replicate what it sounds like for the baby in the womb.

BABY GURGLES

Say, "Daddy, can you take me and change me now?

"I've got too much poo in my nappy now."

Aw, pick her up.

Come on. It's changing time, darling.

HE GRUNTS

Oh, God. I can feel it.

Jamie's halfway through his paternity leave

and he's taken on all the home and baby chores to support his wife,

who's been breastfeeding day and night.

Hello!

I know. The hangings are so more interesting than Daddy. Hello!

If you ever want to lose weight, as a guy, have a baby.

Not literally have a baby, but...

How much weight have you lost?

I think I've lost about two kilos in the last week and a bit

just from forgetting to eat.

It suddenly gets to midday and I realise,

"Shit, I haven't actually eaten since seven o'clock last night."

You'll just be walking around doing stuff.

There's always so much to do in addition to the normal house stuff

of getting Nikki some water and putting the wash on, changing baby.

SAXOPHONE PLAYS "The Nutcracker Suite"

HE SPEAKS IN HUNGARIAN

Viktor was only going to take three days of work,

but he's still at home on day ten.

Today he ironed his shirt for the first time.

You know why I do all these things?

Because I know in a day, my baby girl,

she's going to be a person as I am today, and she's going to come to me and ask me,

"Dad, what did you do when my mum was tired and when she was weak?"

I want to tell her what I've done, as a father should do.

And I just would be happy to have my father in this position

and to know he was there when he was needed. But he wasn't.

But I want to make sure my baby going to know I was here

when I was needed and I'm still here and I'm going to be here.

That's why I cannot be tired enough or too tired to stop doing this.

HE SINGS ALONG TO RADIO

Wow! Did you see that?

One hand, one hand open it, just, pah!

Pah! The magic father power.

HE COOS AT THE BABY

Every piece of this lovely body feels like a piece of mine.

There's nothing strange about it, nothing.

And you just, like... If you're not disgusted

because of your own crap, or because of your own poo,

you won't be disgusted because of your child.

You're just amazing. I love to do that.

Every time he lays on my chest, you get this sense of karmic sea,

you know, wash over you, which is this lovely sort of bliss.

'Three days after the birth, and Greg was having a barbecue.

'It seemed that spending time at home with Cathy

'and his second son had somehow softened him.'

Can you see him?

You should stand there.

Stand behind me.

Now tell me that is not an adorable little boy.

I think a few of the times when we've been filming

I've felt sometimes I've sort of jumped into that

"Greg on stage" thing, which is not really who I am as a person,

but I feel sometimes maybe that's a defensive kind of, you know...

shield or whatever.

It's really nice to spend time at home

and sort of be yourself again, you know?

It must be hard having to perform so much.

Yeah, like a little seal.

I don't understand how everything's so perfect in your world

and you've got this quiet baby

who doesn't need to be rocked around the house all night.

Do you think it's perfect in my world?

I think...

you do a very good job of showing things as perfect.

I think that...

I think not having your son with you is very difficult.

It's horrific.

It's the one massive thing that...

makes my whole world not work.

But I have to get on with it, obviously.

It's the one thing I'd give everything to change, everything.

People probably watching this would go,

"Yeah, you wouldn't give all your money and your lifestyle."

I bloody would!

Cos I know in a heartbeat I could get it back.

Take it all away, I could have it back within six months,

because I'm a bloody hard little worker.

No, I think people might say, "Well, could you have not tried harder, longer?"

Yeah. And I've thought a lot about that,

and I've got a lot of friends who are 40 years old

in relationships that are now going through divorce and the kids are eight, nine and 10,

and are completely distraught their dad is now leaving.

And I'm 100% clear that that relationship wasn't right

for a number of reasons, and I thought, "You know what?

"The best thing to do is to leave early."

But if I'm being completely honest, I didn't plan it well.

I mean, I was a total fucking coward when it comes to leaving,

and I did not have the brevity to leave.

It wasn't until I met someone I fell in love with that I felt,

OK, there's a compelling future and I can go forward.

Other than that, I'd have stayed, 100%,

cos the idea of leaving him was way, way, way beyond painful.

You've got to listen to this song.

It's absolute, just tells everything,

about me and Melinda, what is going on in the house.

MUSIC: "Song For A Friend" by Jason Mraz

# You're learning to love yourself... #

She have this stupid, stupid, silly thought in her mind, "What if?"

And after that there are 1,000 stupid thoughts,

like, "What if I not give enough food for her?

"What if I have done something wrong?

"What if?" Too many what-ifs.

Do you think Melinda is depressed?

I-I'm worried...

She's in front of the route, she's in front of the path.

If you walk where you...

Her leg, one of her legs, is on this path

where you can walk and you can be depressed.

She's just tired,

and I need to be with her to make sure she's not walking in this path.

Because at the end of this path she's going to be lonely

and she's going to lose her...

Herself.

And I don't want to let... And I WON'T let this happen.

Viktor's baby is now two weeks old,

and he still hasn't returned to work.

You know, I'd rather have a poor family

but still have a family than give them everything and...

..and not being with them.

# Oh my baby, my curly headed baby

# I'll sing you fast asleep

# And love you so as I sing

# Oh my baby, my curly headed baby

# Just tuck your head like little bird

# Beneath its mother's wing...#

That confirms there is still buying pressure,

a bounceback towards the pivot line here, that was rejected.

This is good, because if you look prior to that,

the Wednesday and Thursday, these are two sell-off days.

That's your short serving, this is your short squeeze.

Five days after the birth, and Greg, still with a global business to run,

has started trying to work from home.

Friday?

Next week, Tuesday? Next week Tuesday or next week Friday?

-Could do Thursday?

-Thursday?

-29th?

-No.

-Wednesday?

-Wednesday? No.

-Next...

-You've got a midwife baby check at 2pm on Wednesday.

No, next Wednesday.

We've already got one in there, a midwife baby check at 2pm on Wednesday.

-Next Wednesday?

-No. Today's Monday...

I know what we're doing this Wednesday, I'm talking about next week.

Are you phoning for a midwife baby check?

-I'm talking about a photographer for the baby shoot.

-Oh...

Do you have two hours next week?

Today's the...26th?

-Today's the 22nd.

-Yeah, it is.

Let me know if you can do any days between now and the 7th.

-Or the 8th.

-I'm registering him at Westminster on Monday.

-We are.

-Because, actually...

-We are.

We had a photoshoot for the baby shower,

we had a photoshoot for the pregnancy, um, we have a photoshoot every other day!

-Who drives that?

-Hmm, I don't know(!)

He is actually the special package, you know? After all of that.

He's the one we really want to take photos of now.

-Do you like being photographed?

-Not as much as Cathy.

Do you think you guys are slightly more irritable with each other than normal?

Exactly.

We're like... You know like when you're about to have a fight with someone?

We're like that all the time.

-What's on the shopping list?

-A few bits and bobs. Painkillers.

-Who's doing the cooking and the tidying and the washing?

-Umm...

Oh, shit, that's a point. I forgot to take the washing out! Bollocks.

So yes, I'm doing the washing but forgetting to take it out.

I'm doing the cooking.

What's the point in Nikki cooking when she has to stand there

and she's in absolute agony to stand up for an extended period of time?

-Who's doing the nappies?

-Me.

These are, they look like sleep suits.

-That's the same as a babygro, isn't it?

-Is it harder than you expected?

Um...Not the baby bit, in terms of the, you know,

it's not that I didn't expect the baby to cry every couple of hours and want to be fed,

but, uh, the look after two people bit...

I didn't realise how that was going to be.

So it's a bit of an emotional day for you guys?

Just, you know, Nikki... I'm trying to be positive about it, um...

Yeah...

And I am positive about it, but, it's just keeping that ship steady.

If I fall to pieces in front of her as well,

it doesn't do anyone any good.

Millions of people go through this all the time,

so it's not exactly a big deal, but I guess.

-Do you feel like you're at the helm?

-Yeah. Yeah. I do a bit.

-Which is fine.

-But you're trying to hold it all together, aren't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

-How embarrassing!

-It is hard.

I shouldn't be getting upset about this, but...

It's just, you know, I...

It's difficult keeping it all going with an hour's sleep a night.

And the thing that no-one tells you is how much of a...

You know, in pieces your wife or whoever's going to be in after giving birth.

Er...

Do you think all the other guys you've been with have gone through a similar experience?

I think everyone's different. I think it's hard for everybody.

Er, I think you're...

-very eager to get it right and do your very best.

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Can you show me the picture, Greg?

-Oh, God. No!

It's there.

-Do I have to go by myself?

-Do you want me to come with?

-Go on, then.

-Good thing I heard your response when you first saw it.

-Which was what?

-It was like a soap opera.

-No, no, no, it was...

-I bought this online, and I thought it...

I HONESTLY thought this was smaller. I know...

it might sound like I'm trying to defend my lapse in taste, but...

It's big. Look how big it is.

And therefore, it looks like something out of Footballers' Wives.

It's like something you'd have in your Footballers' Wives house, above your white marble fireplace.

So we decided that's going to go behind the door in the bedroom.

'Greg lives by a maxim that 90% of life's problems

'can be solved by writing a cheque.'

'He and Cathy have employed a maternity nurse,

'and he returns to full-time work tomorrow.'

-Bye.

-Bye.

One relationship failed, I'd feel under enormous pressure

-to make sure that the second one didn't.

-Yes.

Yeah, it does. It does feel like that, and I...

Yeah, I do feel under more pressure, I suppose. You're absolutely right.

Wouldn't it be horrific to be, you know, the father of two children,

having no relationship with either of their mothers? That would be...

Can you imagine? That would be...horrible.

Oh, my God! I can see my son.

You can't turn your camera round, but he's out there on his little balcony.

Look at that!

Well, that's heartbreaking when I have to look at him, out on his own.

He's... We're going to... We should move on.

Bless him! Playing in his little sandpit. Oh!

I've got him today, though, at three o'clock.

KISSING

-Bye, Daddy.

-You probably don't notice Daddy's going, do you?

-No!

Bye.

# A gentle breeze

# From Hushabye Mountain

# Softly blows

# O'er Lullaby Bay

# It fills the sails

# Of boats that are waiting

# Waiting to sail your worries away

# It isn't far

# To Hushabye Mountain

-# And your boat... #

-BABY CRIES

# Waits down by the quay

# The winds of night

# So softly are sighing

# Soon they will fly

# Your troubles to sea

# So close your eyes

# On Hushabye Mountain

# Wave goodbye

# To cares of the day

# And watch your boat

# From Hushabye Mountain

# Sail far away from Lullaby Bay. #

So, Greg tells me you're having a baby.

-Yes, we are expecting a baby in January.

-Is it your first?

It's our first baby, yes.

Very excited, but don't know what to expect.

People say life changes, but I don't know.

# And watch your boat

# From Hushabye mountain

# Sail far away

# From Lullaby Bay. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd