Two Jews on a Cruise Wonderland

SIRENS WAIL

-I pack my way.

-You pack your way.

You know better how to pack.

You start from beginning. You got to start all over again.

Gaby and Tikwah Lock, a retired couple living in Stamford Hill

in north London, are getting ready to go on holiday.

Take a hanger with you. People have got hangers where we're going.

Take the hangers out. Do me a favour.

It disturbs me. I can't close the box with them there.

-Just push them down.

-I've have told you so many times

the hangers disturb packing the case and you don't want to listen.

-Gaby is in charge of packing, yeah?

-Yes, he's very good at it.

-I'd get lots of things into her case...

-OK.

This is all going to come out.

As orthodox Jews in the Hasidic community, their lives

are governed by a complex set of rules, called the 613 Commandments.

This means the packing requirements differ a little from most.

Well, if I look like a gollywog...

-Tikwah, how many wigs do you take?

-One on my head and one in the box.

What's the difference in the wigs you've got?

-Have a look at the wig.

-One is for best wear, which he's tried to ruin.

-Why do you wear that?

-A married woman must cover your hair.

You're not allowed to go with open hair. She can shave all her hair off

and not have no hair whatsoever

then she can go like a baldy, like one of these skinheads. Terribly unattractive.

And it's a part of the Jewish life,

the partner's supposed to be making sure she is attractive to the male.

The male species should make sure he's attractive to the female.

That is part of your duty in married Jewish life and Torah laws.

What do you do to make yourself attractive to Tikwah?

That's a good question! That's a good question!

She's laughing at that!

Look at this! Isn't it going all in?

Marvellous! Wonderful!

I'd first met Gaby and Tikwah

while making a film about young people getting married in the area.

SINGING

Gaby, a former teacher, acted as my guide

to the nature of relationships in this highly-orthodox neighbourhood.

Marriage, that's what God's aim is in this world.

Two different people get together and try to build a life.

The idea is to make one person of them.

The more one you make of your unity or marriage,

the more one you are and the more love there is.

That is what real love is about.

When Gaby and Tikwah told me they were happy for me to join them

on their cruise around the Mediterranean, I jumped at the chance

to spend more time with this couple from such an unusual community.

Looks nice!

GABY HEAVES

-Is this all his gear behind you?

-Yes. Yes.

-It's all Gaby's gear.

-Do you want him to sort all the stuff out?

-Oh, it's pointless saying that I want what I want.

-What do you want?

I want him to chuck it all out.

To me it has value. I know exactly every piece in there.

Gaby, you can't collect everything in the world.

The gas mask belongs to my son, not me. We can't throw it out. He wants to keep it.

-He doesn't want to take it home.

-Gas mask?

-Let's get this on.

Please(!)

MUFFLED NOISES

Gaby, don't you think you collect a bit too much stuff?

I can't breathe in it.

Of course he does! Of course he does!

I think you've got one or two little issues to work on.

We've got more than one or two little issues.

We work on issues every day. It's what life's about. Working on issues.

Aside from visiting relations in Israel,

this would be the first holiday the couple have taken

together in over 40 years of marriage.

A holiday where I take my wife out and say

"I'm giving you myself now, my whole self..."

Don't forget about me once we get away.

-Yes, but the point is...

-What's she saying?

-Don't forget about me.

-Once I talk, she thinks I forget her.

-Once he talks to other people,

-he forgets me.

-And you neglect her?

It's not I neglect her. If I'm talking with somebody else

I've got to concentrate on these people. Of course I neglect her a bit.

-Have you got the water on full?

-Yes!

-The cold tap, fully on?

-The radio will go on with the time switch.

-A bit quieter.

It's not loud. This is not loud.

RADIO CHATTER

-Come on! Out!

-I just want to check. One more time.

-More checking!

-More checking.

-He's crunk.

-Don't you check all your house when you go away like that?

-Not that many times.

He is so unsure of himself.

Is he?

We can go in the car to Manchester

and he says, "Now did I close the windows?

-"I'm going back."

-Did I close the windows?

The windows are not open. Gaby, they're not open!

I'm just going to check the windows.

He's away to open my windows!

This kissing of the mezuzah is for the security of the house.

-God looks after the house.

-He looks after us.

-Looks after us.

-Everything is around God, isn't it?

-Everything.

Off we go.

Oh, God, I'm tired.

What would you like on the cruise?

I want to enjoy the Jacuzzi, I think it's nice.

-Jacuzzi?

-Yeah. That is a Jacuzzi.

-I thought you thought all those things are crazy?

No, but a Jacuzzi's very nice - it's warm water and it bubbles.

It's really a good feeling, no? We must try that.

The point is we'll have to try that when there's nobody about.

-But we can be able to get there.

-I need it like a hole in the head.

You might like it. You've never tried, so how do you know you need it like a hole in the head.

-You say it like it's something you've tried.

-I'm scared of things I don't know.

-That doesn't mean it's not good. How do you know it's no good?

-No, I can't really say.

-You can't know everything you'll be scared of.

-You're right. You're right.

If you don't take no chances, you won't get nowhere.

No, I won't get anywhere, so what shall I do?

It's Israel.

-Golden Iris! Golden Iris!

-Come here you! Come from water. Gaby!

Over the next 13 days,

the Golden Iris will cruise the Mediterranean and Adriatic Seas.

Yeah, yeah, well, I don't need you to fall in the water.

It will be calling in for day excursions at ports in Crete,

Corfu, Venice, Montenegro and Greece.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

-Come on!

Not all Gaby and Tikwah's fellow passengers are as religious as them.

Thank you. We hope so.

But is an entirely kosher ship that will accommodate

a whole spectrum of Jewish people, from the orthodox to the secular.

-Yeah.

-Watch your step.

-Why watch my step? They're good steps.

Oh, my God, Gaby! What did we let ourselves in for?

Oh...

5023. Now we're getting somewhere.

-Two, three.

-Ah! Oh, my God.

-We've got a television. Look at this!

Oh, my God. That's all we need(!).

-What a room!

-You don't have a telly at home, do you?

-No.

-We don't need one.

-Oh.

-Oh, please!

-Let me just see what's on.

-Ah, let's go here.

-Who cares about rugby?!

Are you going to spend a bit of time up here, Tikwah, in the sun?

-I might do.

-Oh, the sun is very dangerous for us.

-Why?

-We burn.

-She doesn't.

-I don't.

-I burn.

I'm ginger. I burn. I get red as a tomato.

The Golden Iris would be home to 900 holidaymakers for the two week cruise.

Gaby and Tikwah's fellow travellers are mainly married couples

of a similar age, looking to enjoy their time together in later life.

IN ENGLISH

Some of them more seasoned cruise-goers,

struggling to rekindle the passion of their youth.

Whenever a good-looking girl walks past,

I feel like I'd like to be available if it was possible.

HE CHUCKLES

-Does that bother you?

-Not at all. It would've.

-It would've 30 years ago.

-It would've 30 years ago. Now it's like water off a duck's back.

While others have become a little too accustomed to their partner's habits.

IN TRANSLATION

HE SNORTS

Here, If I'm...

HE SNORES ..is going to sleep with the captain.

Five minutes into our voyage, and Tikwah's already lost something.

-What are we looking for?

-My husband!

-Where is he?

-I don't know.

He went to his bedroom to get his camera.

Gaby? Where are you?

Oh, my gosh.

-He always disappears.

-Always! It's a very old story.

5023. Hello?

No, he's not here. He's locked the door.

-There he is!

-Oh, what...

-Where were you?

-Have you got the card?

-Have you got the card?

-Yes!

-Where is the card? Give me it.

-He wants to write it down. The card.

-And where's the camera?

-What camera? Where?

-There.

-I'll go and find it.

-Oh, you're such a schlemazel!

I'm entitled to disappear. We don't need to stick together every minute.

No, you're always disappearing.

-Oh, the case in.

-Are the cases there?

-Yeah. SHE TUTS

-Oh, look at this.

-Creases.

-Hang it up over there.

-Everything.

-First, I've got to get it on the hanger, yes?

What do you think of the other people you've seen on board so far?

I haven't talked much with them. Gaby does the talking.

-Is that shyness?

-Yes.

-Would you like Tikwah to have more confidence?

In herself? Yeah. I would have. Yes, I would have liked it.

It looks a bit of a state.

Would I marry a person who's got more confidence than her?

-No, because you don't know a lot of things you get.

-I put up with him.

Who says that the other person would put up with more of my problems than my wife would. I don't think so.

-God puts you together.

-I've heard about this concept called bashert.

-What does that mean?

-Bashert means that this is your partner.

God designated, decided from Heaven that this person should be yours.

It's a very big decision to be for the rest of your life with someone. God almighty, don't we know it!

-So bashert, right? Have I pronounced it right? Bashert?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, very good.

-OK.

Is that something that you are immediately aware of when you meet your partner?

-When you met Tikwah...

-No, no.

You're saying with bashert that you fall in love with a person

and you decide that this is the person to be with all your life.

-That's not bashert.

-It's not falling in love?

-No, it's not. Bashert is these two people God put together.

When we married first, most people said that we would get divorced. Most people thought we don't fit together.

But, over time, it's proved that we do fit together.

-Who's doing all the work?

-Yeah.

-She is. That's women's work.

-Oh, everything is women's work, isn't it?

-Most things. Housing is women's work.

-A lot of women wouldn't thank you for that comment, Gaby.

-But my wife understands.

No, she doesn't understand - she just has no way out.

That's how it is.

What shall I do? Leave everything to get creased?

-Yeah, leave it as it is.

-And look later on for things I can't find.

-Yeah.

-Very nice.

The Golden Iris boasts a packed programme of activities

for all its guests.

Deck running.

Food sculpting.

Dancing competitions.

Cocktail making demonstrations.

APPLAUSE

Religious lectures.

Aerobic classes.

If you don't want to, close your eyes and use the time to relax.

Relationship enhancement workshops.

And one other.

The evening entertainment is one of the most popular events on the schedule.

The content of the nightly show is not aimed at

the ship's most religious passengers.

But as it's day one, Gaby is happy to try it out.

BAND PLAYS: "On Broadway"

# They say the neon lights are bright on Broadway

# On Broadway

# They say there's always magic in the air

# On Broadway

# When I'm walking down the street

# And you ain't had enough to eat

# Glitter rubs right off along the way

# On Broadway... #

The cabaret is not our cup of tea. The music's...

Let's not talk about morality. We're talking about the music is much too loud. We can't...

It's deafening.

And, secondly, the morality with a woman singing and the dancers' dress

is against our morals in the Jewish religion.

-So we can't stay for that.

-Honestly, Tikwah, how did you feel about that?

-Terrible! Shocking!

EXOTIC BELLY-DANCE MUSIC

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-I would never even watch that on television.

-Turn off the telly.

-BOTH:

-Good night!

-Good night.

-Good night. DOOR LOCKS

ROCK'N'ROLL MUSIC

It's day two of the cruise,

almost everyone on board has signed up for the trip's first tour.

And some of the passengers are eager to get ashore.

CLAMOURING

-Off to Crete.

-Your first excursion.

-Excursion. First excursion?

Look at that!

IN YIDDISH

-You might have to...

-Oh, no, I'm getting pushed from all sides.

Very bad. You have to, right, not put yourself in the situation.

You have to pull yourself out of the situation. You have to counter the situation.

Take your mind completely away from the situation. She's going. You have to push through. What do you care?

-I don't care what she's doing. What do I care?

-She should go before she left.

I'm in a nice environment. I don't see them.

They are all like animals. They're nothing. I don't care.

I put my head into a nice environment. I couldn't care less

if they're shoving into each other. I'm not going to change them.

They're too old to change.

Gaby finds the best way to keep calm in the throng

is to immerse himself in prayer.

GABY PRAYS

-Oh, we're going.

-Oh!

Crete will be the couple's first ever guided tour

and Gaby has agreed not to leave Tikwah on her own.

We have good soil and we have good sun

so that's why the god Zeus chose to be born here.

-The god Zeus was born on Crete.

-Who was born on Crete?

-The god Zeus.

-The god Zeus.

-Zeus.

-They believe in Zeus. Zeus was a god.

-What's Juce?

-Zeus.

-What's Juce?

-Ancient Greek mythology.

-Who is Juce?

-No, not Jesus.

-Zeus. Jesus wasn't born here.

-Zeus was born here.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, I'm sure he wasn't born here. He wasn't born here.

Oh, my gosh.

This country is not developed. It fade into olive trees. Look. There must have been lots of...

The Cretan nature is sacred.

It should stay scared and not developed more than that.

-You think?

-I think so, yes.

I think this is what the human being has to understand,

that when you see nature, you have to admire nature and protect nature.

The Cretan nature is sacred. So, peoples,

you want to smell? This is a real lemon?

When you smell lemon, this is what you should have in your plate

and not those that they have no taste.

Not for the money.

That was quite vociferous.

She was quite aggressive on the point that they were not developed.

The truth is this country wasn't developed. It's full of olives.

You can't live on olives. How can people make a living just by growing olives, no?

Hold me.

Don't keep on running away.

Go backwards. It's easier.

There we have the ancient city, Kydonia.

The whole development that you see around,

is the development that we have the last 100 years.

-Ah-ha.

-So you see, when we spoke about development before, there is a big development

so people should be really careful about development.

Oh... She gets very offended, that woman.

Wooh!

"You should be very careful what you say," she says.

Where has he gone?

Where has he gone?

He's got a new girlfriend.

We had tourism from 1975. A big development.

-How many tourists come here every year?

-We have a million of visitors.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

SHE SINGS IN GREEK

APPLAUSE

Thank you for stopping!

-Thank you very much. Goodbye to all of you. Have a nice trip, safe home.

-Thank you very much.

Golden Iris is our home!

SHE LAUGHS

For a little while, it's our home.

-What's the matter with you?

-Golden Iris!

Isn't it sweet that little elephant they made up from the towel?

How did they make the ear?

-The eyes are just pieces of plastic.

-What do you call that in English?

-The trunk.

-Trunk? Yeah?

A trunk. The elephant has a trunk.

The elephant has a trunk.

The following day will be spent at sea

as the ship heads towards its next destination, Corfu.

With spare time available, Tikwah has persuaded Gaby to sign up for the relationship workshop,

a therapeutic course designed for couples.

Who knows? My husband might pick up something.

If he's willing to.

-You. I'm to pick up something? What about you?

-Yes, both of us.

-I have to pick up?

-There's always room for improvement.

What we're going to teach you is something called mirroring,

which means you repeat back what your partner said.

I invite a couple to volunteer

to be a demonstration couple

where I'm going to show how this works and then you'll all get a chance to do it.

Charlotte and Gil Goller have been married for 15 years

and are veterans of nine cruises.

But they are not just regular passengers.

They have been invited on board as couples workshop presenters.

When we go on cruises, there are people who give talks,

there was a couple who gave a talk on marriages

on the last cruise we were on so we had the idea

maybe this would be a good thing, since we love to cruise and give workshops.

Today, Tikwah, you are going to bring up something

and Gaby is going to mirror you.

You have a small thing he does that irritates you, that you've told him a hundred times

and he doesn't seem to hear you.

In the morning, after he's eaten, he leaves the table completely dirty.

-It drives me mad!

-That's perfect.

-I always say, "When you've finished eating, clean the table."

Ask him if he's willing to cross the bridge and come to Tikwahland and hear what you have to say.

Are you willing to come over the bridge wanting to hear what I have to say?

-Yes.

-Yes, he is. Without baggage, you're going to go there

and you're going to mirror.

-And you're not going to react, you're going to mirror.

-Not going to react to say answer,

-just mirror what she says.

-Just mirror what she says.

I feel like a second-class char woman.

I acknowledge that's the way you feel. I hear you say that.

Go on. Once sentence at a time so that he can mirror it well.

Is it so difficult to clean up the table after you've finished eating?

-I hear you asking.

-I hear you asking whether it's difficult for me to clean the table

-after I've finished eating.

-What's your answer?

-That's not what you asked.

It's wrong for you to feel like a char woman.

-Do you feel that he understands?

-No.

I had therapy in the past. One of the top places for therapy.

I went there two times and it was OK.

I talked for two hours. The third time I came and after half an hour,

the doctor chucked me out and said, "You're driving US mad. You're not mad.

"You're trying to drive us mad." And he chucked me out!

Where are those tablets I've got to look for now?

-Have you got?

-No, I haven't got.

You lost me a tablet.

PLASTIC BAG RUSTLES

-See? You've got.

-I haven't got!

-It's another day.

-Trouble.

-Don't touch my things!

-All right! I've heard you!

-I don't touch your tablets, don't touch my tablets.

No.

After spending three full days with Gaby and Tikwah,

I found myself becoming increasingly interested in their marriage

and the effect their very first holiday was having on it.

What do you want me to do with my legs?

You come away on this holiday and spend a lot of time with each other.

Well, you have to learn to live together.

We are here together. This is the most together we ever are.

You even have to lie in bed properly, otherwise the other one takes the covers from the other.

-When I'm at home, I don't have that problem.

-You're good at that!

-Normally, you'd have twin beds, right?

-I think it's a stupid thing double beds.

All we think about, relationship one to another, is that we have double beds

that we're close, "Hello, dear. How are you?"

But there's more to becoming nearer to each other than just the... How would you say it?

The gestures.

There's feeling nearer to each other.

-We met a couple...

-But there's something nice in having a cuddle.

Ah! That's all because you're physically young.

-Take it...

-Old people like cuddling too.

You don't know. That's what you think. Maybe they don't like it.

-We've seen it here on the boat.

-You think so.

-You don't think it's important?

-If things are important to the wife then you do it.

I don't think it brings a nearness in a relationship... Understanding each other brings more nearness.

-But understanding, that's part of understanding each other.

-I don't think so.

Understanding needs a lot of...

-Physical touch, a bit of a cuddle is nice, right, Tikwah?

-Why not?!

It's not really a swimming pool that I like to go into.

Men and women together? No, not right.

Is there a way that you could go when there are no other women...

-Yes, when there are no other women there, yes.

-We'd have to come early.

-Yes, we'd have to come early.

-Where were you?

-Where were you?

I communicate with a lot of people...

You were still talking to people.

-Why do you keep on running away from me?

-I'm not running away from you.

I didn't know where you were.

-You were busy schmoozing.

-You went away. I was schmoozing.

-I said, "Come."

-Why should I?

-But you didn't come.

-I was in the middle of talking with people.

-You never stop talking!

Nobody in the water. Oh, what is that?

That's a Jacuzzi.

And he lies all day in it on his own in his birthday suit?

-No, are you mad?

-I don't know.

-He'd get arrested.

Really? That's a Jacuzzi?

He looks like a bear.

-Welcome in Corfu.

-Who are you going to insult today, Gaby?

-No!

-Who I'm going to insult, I don't know but somebody, definitely.

No, no, don't!

Before Corfu town can be enjoyed, a problem with the next stop in Venice needs settling.

The question is are you allowed to get on and off?

On and off you can because the ship is coming to a port.

If the ship doesn't come into port, that is a problem.

The Golden Iris will arrive in Venice on Friday

just before the holy day of Shabbat begins.

The Orthodox passengers might not be able to leave the ship and remain in accordance with Jewish law.

If I get on a ship that's going to sail on Shabbos.

-If the ship sails...

-What time does the boat leave?

If they sail before Shabbos, if I'm on the ship, you've got a problem. The same when you stay on the ship.

If it doesn't come in before Shabbos, you have a problem.

OK. We'll call our rabbi.

Let's ring the rabbi. I'm not against ringing the rabbi.

Hi, rabbi, it's Gil. I have a question that I need you to answer.

Could you please call me back?

Just call my regular cellphone number and I'll get it, even though I'm in Greece.

Please call me back within the next hour or so.

Thank you so much. Bye.

-Will you be there Friday night and go on the ship?

-I won't be there.

I'm going to be at Shabbos morning. We're going to walk around the town, have a Shabbos morning.

-You're leaving the ship?

-Yeah. Why not?

Have you checked the logistics of distance from ship to...

It's all in the town. It takes 20 mins to walk. They sent me an e-mail.

-OK.

-I checked on all this before we left.

Four days into the trip and Gaby's enthusiasm for new encounters means that Tikwah's spending

more and more time alone.

He wants to hear what everybody else has to say. What I say is already known to him.

He might hear something interesting there.

He might bring some Judaism more to people who don't know anything.

He's got a thirst for knowledge.

Ah! And a thirst for saying whatever he thinks.

-I think I've changed a lot of people's lives here.

-Gaby, Gaby!

Moments before they're due to arrive and the question about leaving the ship

in Venice remains unresolved.

I called two different rabbis in Israel.

One is a rabbi that goes on cruises

and his answer was that if the ship is sailing before Sabbath is over,

then you cannot get on it.

You must be on the ship before the Sabbath.

I asked somebody in London who said it's OK. I know that it's a problem even if the boat

will sail before Shabbat.

But as the boat is my domain and my house, I can get on.

This becomes part of Venice. I can get off and on and even though it sails afterwards,

-it doesn't matter to me.

-So the answer to me is I'm not getting off the ship

and the answer for you is because you've got a ruling that you can, you WILL get off the ship.

I couldn't help thinking Gaby felt there was

a competition to be the most observant Jew on the ship.

Yeah, there is.

SHE LAUGHS

How good are you?

I keep the laws that are written in the way it is written.

I don't make my own laws.

With Shabbat about to begin, work is prohibited so filming has to stop.

By the beginning of the second week,

as the Golden Iris journeys to ports in Montenegro and Greece,

the cruise is bringing a sparkle to even some of the most well-worn relationships.

It's one of the ways!

I love her very much. I hope she loves me as I love her.

-It's me?!

-Yes, it's you!

And...

And he's handsome. Look at him!

At his age, he's handsome.

Gaby and Tikwah are over halfway through their holiday

and they've chosen to take up an invitation to any couple

wanting a private counselling session.

-We are going. We are going.

-You look hopeless. Look in the mirror.

-It is big enough.

-Oh, yeah, it is.

Would you like to talk about your father?

-Yes, why not.

-Would you like to be her father? OK.

What age will you be?

-Any age.

-12.

To help understand her feelings more fully,

Tikwah is playing the role of her 12-year-old self.

-So, "I'm your father".

-I'm your father.

"Were there times that I wasn't there?"

Were there times when I was not there?

Very much times, you were not there

because you went to teach children Yiddishkeit.

There were times I would have loved to see you in the middle of the day,

but unfortunately I suppose that wasn't possible.

I hear you say that you felt very bad

when I had to travel away far, for teaching,

and I was not at home for you when you came home from school.

So, "What made me sad about that was..."

What made me sad about that was that I missed you very much.

Because you were so sensible.

I hear you say that you missed me

and I wasn't there for you during the day when I was travelling far away.

-"I am no longer your daughter."

-I am no longer your daughter.

I happen to be your wife!

-"Thank you for listening."

-Thank you for listening to me.

-"As your husband"...

-As your husband,

how can I help you to heal this wound from your past?

Oh, give me a bit more attention and don't always run away.

That's all I am asking.

I hear you say that you want more attention,

and even the little bits of attention, which I give you...

You give too little.

..you appreciate but...

I hear you say that you would like me

to give you more attention, and not run away.

Do you now understand how Tikwah has felt neglected in her childhood

and how she may feel neglected when you don't give her

the attention and the time that she would like?

-Definitely.

-Do you understand?

-Yes.

He is very, very fast and does not always grasp

that I want a bit more time.

Do you think Gaby will ever really change?

No, I don't think so.

What shall I do about it?

I have to learn to live with many things.

He is not aware of it, that is all I can say.

But there is no doubt you love each other very deeply.

Yes, yes. But... I do have times I feel very lonely.

He goes his way and he forgets about me,

as you have seen here on the boat.

He always thinks being with others is more interesting.

Until he falls out with people.

Oh, look at those little houses.

Gosh, they live a long way from the real world.

I think very little of myself.

I think he knows it all and he does it all.

I suppose that's the nature.

Look how beautiful it is. Beautiful day.

-Where's Tik?

-She went downstairs. She feels too cold up here.

She finds it nice and warm downstairs. Beautiful view coming in.

Every day has been a fascination, hasn't it?

-You have loved it, haven't you?

-Beautiful. Of course.

Tell me who would not love it.

If somebody said he wouldn't, he is lying, I think.

Comfortable, rooms, view, good food, no? Kosher.

100% brought from Israel.

You've got the lot.

Yeah.

Gaby, come here.

Gaby!

-Come here, come.

-No, you walk with me. Come on and walk with me.

TOUR GUIDE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

Gaby!

-Gaby, come here!

-What's the matter?

-Come here, Gaby.

-Come quicker.

I can't.

I am not on a working camp.

-I don't want to lose you.

-I am on holiday.

-Don't come on these tours.

Why shouldn't I?

Because you can't, you haven't got the legs to keep up with it.

-I don't have to run.

-Do you want to stay or do you want to wait?

-I am going to wait.

-Wait here, I am coming back.

-Good, fine.

They are coming back in five minutes.

I haven't got the strength to run. They can run.

Where has he gone to? Which way has he gone?

Go, go, go...

Where?

My needs are also important, don't you think so?

My needs are also important. I want to see around.

I can't help it that she has no sense to run around the town.

She has to understand that she is staying behind and waiting until we get back.

She is not interested in all this.

Does it mean I have to always give her the attention and...be...

How do you say...?

Give in. And say, "You do not want to go, I'll stay with you."

One day my patience will burst and I don't think that is our good thing.

I have to be able to do what I want.

If she can't come then I have to do it alone.

-I would have loved her to come but she does not have the strength.

-Yeah.

I'm not interested, at this note point, cos this is a church

and I couldn't care less about a church,

but it is interesting to see the time.

She has no strength to go up and down the hills

and run around and all that.

So she stays behind, and we come back and we join up again.

Don't you think I am right in that?

-Not really.

-Why not?

I think sometimes you should stay with her.

You are not saying "sometimes", you are saying every time.

-No, I'm not.

-Every time she decides she has no strength to do something, I should stay behind.

-I'm not saying that.

-Why?

-I am saying sometimes stay with her.

I have one opportunity to see this, why should I not see this?

-I would lose the opportunity, wouldn't I?

-Mmm.

-Yeah, I was quite OK that he went.

-You were happy for him to go?

-Yes.

I didn't want to run like a lunatic.

I understood Tikwah.

That might not look like a relationship to anybody ideal...

No, because you do it often.

I do it often, of course. I know you haven't got the strength.

But sometimes you could adapt to me.

Love is understanding each other what each other wants but...

Gaby wanted to stay out and go tour alone

and suggested to Tikwah to go on without him.

Home, sweet home.

You want...?

-I got you something.

-You didn't buy that?!

-I don't believe it.

-I saw it in the shop and I bought it.

-Have a look what it is.

-I am having a heart attack.

A vase?

-With a flower.

-And it's got a flower?

No.

Don't open it, cos...

Very nice. Isn't it pretty? You are so sweet.

It's got the money on it! I forgot to take the money off.

Thank you, so much!

That's really, really beautiful.

I really appreciate it. It is really sweet. Look at me!

SHE LAUGHS

Yes, it is very, very thoughtful.

I went to the shop and I saw it and I thought,

"That would be nice for the flower."

Because they put the flower, I thought that would be nice.

-That's very nice.

-So they were connected.

-Yes.

-It's not what you buy.

-The thought, that's right.

-Good morning.

-Good morning.

I am going to take a cake. I will have a coffee, yes. With my wife.

-Good for you?

-Yes, that's enough.

-Sugar?

-Sugar, please.

There you are.

-Here. You want a coffee?

-Thank you very much. What a treat!

What's come over him?

I really don't know.

It will come down with a bang when we get home.

I think when you are kind to your partner it ends up with your partner being kind to you.

-Are you going to get a spoon?

-Yeah, I'm going to get a spoon.

-Go on.

And yesterday a present! I really don't know what's happened.

-A different man.

-He's a different man.

SHE LAUGHS

APPLAUSE

It is the afternoon demonstration of creative towel folding in the disco. Gaby has secured the best seat

so that he can video the event for Tikwah.

They can't keep quiet!

APPLAUSE

Be quiet!

They don't stop talking!

I'm trying to listen to him and they are like records.

Tikwah's distracted by some of the audience

making too much noise behind her and Gaby rushes to her defence.

You don't understand a word of me!

I'm listening to him!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

THEY SING

She was going on! Everything she was saying she was repeating like a child

in kindergarten instead of listening to the man and what he was saying.

You listen to him!

And she was talking to a friend in French!

-Did you enjoy it, Gaby?

-Of course, I love an argument.

-You love an argument? I hate it.

-I live for arguments.

-I hate it.

-I like to make awkward situations, that's my life.

I like people to be nice and patient to each other.

Gaby's explosive temper surprised me.

When I asked him about this, he told me he thought it was all explained

by an event in his personal history -

his mother dying within hours of giving birth to him.

She had a haemorrhage and at that time they weren't ready for it,

and she died. An hour later she died.

I think it has affected him very, very badly.

I think that's why he's so aggressive,

that he thinks he's got to stick up for himself all the time.

I don't understand it,

because I have grown up with two loving parents.

I'm a person who thinks, so I observe certain characters in my life.

Why I am a certain aggressiveness

and I won't allow people to tread on to me

is because I feel the injustice being done.

If I see an injustice, I go mad and fight for the rights

even if it's not against me, it's against somebody else.

If an injustice has been done to somebody else I will also fight

because an injustice is going on.

An injustice was done to me by me losing my mother.

I mean we accept it is from God, everything is from God,

but still at the back of your mind, you feel an injustice.

That's part of the character in which God made the world

that you would feel an injustice and you have to accept it is from God,

but you will still feel an injustice.

TIKWAH LAUGHS

Oh, it makes me laugh!

Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

-SHE GIGGLES

I'm scared!

Here, madame.

Gaby!

Oh, my goodness! Stupid animal!

What's happened to me?

-I must have gone mad.

-SHE LAUGHS

Where are you, Gaby?

Oh, gosh!

Oh, my God!

Gaby, Gaby, what have you done to me?

What have you done to me? It's just plain mad.

So quiet.

You like that?

But you're not quiet.

'The art of life is how to live together

'just to be compatible and think, "That's it,'

"I've got the ideal life and I'm going to have exactly what I want."

There is no challenge in that whatsoever.

I've learned to be more tolerant with people.

I'm still very straightforward, honest.

I've never told her lie and she's never told me a lie.

That's one of the most important things in marriage, you have to be

honest and if you don't like something, say straightaway.

For instance, I told her, "I don't like spinach, don't make for me spinach."

-I love it!

-She likes spinach, so she cooks spinach for herself.

-I make him something else...

-Cabbage.

-That's how it's worked out till today.

-You have to find a way around it.

-What do you appreciate about Tikwah that

perhaps you wouldn't have appreciated early on in your marriage?

The understanding... Like, coming on this cruise, she would never have

done it years ago, I would think. I imagine if I was myself years ago,

I would have been too much worried about what other people think.

Today Tikwah has taught me more than I have taught her this -

we don't really care, nobody cares about you, it's only what we care about each other.

Nobody else cares about you - truth.

I'll see you down there.

-I beat you!

-Yeah, you are fast.

I think it's this way, no? No, it's not.

Tikwah capitalises on Gaby's good mood.

Before they arrive back in Haifa,

she books him one last session with the Gollers.

Are you ready to listen?

I want to talk about something that bothers me about you.

-It bothers me...

-It bothers me that you keep things,

which are absolutely useless. Look at our front room.

It is full of rubbish. I wanted to make it nice...

I hear you say that you think my hoarding is full of rubbish

and I'm not giving my opinion, I'm just giving my reflection

of what you are saying, a mirror image of what you are saying -

I hear what you say and I'm not giving my opinion, but it's not rubbish.

-We start with the bulbs.

-The used lightbulbs?

-Yes.

-Some of them are.

You're such a funny man.

-If you put a used light bulb in the fridge, it works again.

-OK.

You have enough money to buy bulbs. I think that...

that's a good project. Are you willing to do that, sort the bulbs?

Any of them that are no good, you're going to throw out?

-Yes.

-Am I hearing you say that?

-Yes, but it depends.

Gaby, look at her face.

Show him your face again, how happy she feels about the light bulbs.

-It would be so nice if at least that would disappear.

-Look how happy.

I have a lot of pens she would like me to get rid of, about 10,000 pens.

Let's do the light bulbs.

Oh dear, oh dear. Have we learned something?

No, what she was talking about, mirror image, about you

-and about the hoarding...

-You are going to get rid of the bulbs.

But the mirror image doesn't achieve anything. About the bulbs, that's not the point.

-I can always sort out which bulbs can work, which bulbs don't work.

-You have to get rid of them.

The bulbs we'll sort out, but not the pens so quickly.

All right, you mentioned the pens. I didn't even mention the pens.

The bulbs I can go through which ones work, which ones don't work -

it's not so simple.

-Where is the beautiful vase?

-It's inside.

-Don't you dare sit on that!

-Oh, I would be heart-broken.

-Do you know what you do about sitting...

-Don't utilise all the space.

-Yeah, yeah.

-See, that closes with ease.

-Oh, you're so clever!

-Because it's utilising all the space that there is.

-All right!

-The other one might give you some problem.

-You always see trouble!

It closes very easily, I worked it all out beforehand in my mind.

-Are you sure? It's hanging out all over.

-All right, that's that.

My jacket's over there, my hat's over there. That's number one closed.

That's number two closing. You want that in there? OK.

Don't talk so much!

-He's proud of his packing.

-Yeah!

Have you checked those draws over there? I'll just check those draws.

Where are you going to? There's nothing there!

Nothing! Don't be so stupid!

-I never used it, only the first draw.

-OK.

Turn the lights off.

Well, we're not paying the electricity bill, are we?

Nothing there, nothing on the floor. You want to check the floors?

-Did you find the tablet? You didn't find that one tablet?

-Do me a favour!

-Bye-bye, room! You've been my home for...12 days?

-12 nights.

-13 days.

-13 days. I'm glad to get rid of you!

-Are you feeling like going home?

-Yes.

-Very much so.

-You like home!

-Yes!

-Home sweet home.

-My own bed.

-Nothing here was bad.

-Where do we go now?

-Straight that way.

-No, no.

-Big ones we can't do,

remember I was saying to my brother, in the commercial freezer.

Why have you got them in the fridge?

-They say that once you put them in the fridge they are rejuvenated.

-They're ready for the dustbin!

-I don't want them! I don't want them! I don't want them!

-All right, all right.

See, this one works again. You see. It might not last.

-See how black it is on the sides?

-How many can he keep, if they work?

If he will go through it straightaway...

-I'm not going through it now.

-No, not now and not never.

-I am.

-I know you, Gaby.

-I AM going to go through them.

-I've seen you before.

-You see this one hasn't got any black.

-You made a promise.

-Yeah!

You see this one hasn't got black on the sides.

See the black on the sides?

Look at this collection!

-That is out, out, out! Straight out.

-I can't place them in...

Who cares? Let the dustbin men worry about it.

It won't go in the dustbin, they won't take them.

-OK, let's go out.

-You've got a few more to get rid of.

-Yes! Yes!

-They'll go outside... I'm not going to get rid of all of them.

That little one you just had in your hand, take it out!

-All right, take the little one.

-Out, out!

-OK.

-No, that little one.

You just put it back here. You're cheating me always.

-I'm not cheating you.

-Gaby, you have got a bit of work to do here.

No, no. GABY LAUGHS

-He's mad!

-You've got a bit more work to do, right?

Then she'll be angry that you took the whole room.

Oh!

To make sure it goes down.

You see the powder coming out? That's poisonous.

-At least he's got rid of some of it.

-Yeah, not much. Two?

-It's a start.

-Is it two?

-Two.

-Only two?!

I'm not even excited.

I know there's so much there, there must be about 20.

-That's not all that's there either.

-I know!

Don't make me cry! Oh, golly!

Now you've done your bit. Put them all in the dustbin.

To do that with all those inside, the whole dustbin will be full of glass, they wouldn't take it.

All right! So don't worry so much about the dustbin men!

GABY! Come inside!

GLASS SHATTERS

I've got to make Shabbos.

Shabbos doesn't wait.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd