Happy People Sell The Call Centre

Are you aware now that's it's all free of charge?

Your loft and your cavity walls insulated to the new standards.

Over a million people now work in UK call centres,

with an average age of just 26.

'I'm not interested, thank you.'

'Sick of some of the scams, to be honest with you.'

They are the factories of our time

but here at the third largest call centre in Swansea,

the only things being made are the cold calls we dread.

'No, no, no.'

'Stop bloody bothering me.'

'I really don't want these calls,

'especially not at seven o'clock in the evening.'

Holding the reins is CEO Nev Wilshire.

With over half of his sales agents under 25, Nev has developed a unique

approach to keeping his young workforce on their toes.

Sums up my management style?

Get out of my office!

The yawn at the back, get down!

Probably Napoleon. Dictator.

Tell her she's sacked, then.

But his troops loved him.

He's awful, absolutely awful.

And with a sales floor simmering with stress...

'Piss off.'

Is it funny? No, this ain't funny now cos you could have broke it.

I'm going to kill someone.

..sex and success...

Almost getting a little excited in my pants right now.

Ooossh, ooosssh.

..there's never a dull day when you work at this Swansea call centre.

There's winners and there's losers and that's it.

To be in charge of 700 people, sometimes it's daunting

but I love it, absolutely love it.

Welcome to Nev's world.

It's Monday morning at Swansea's third largest call centre.

-Steve. You all right?

-Yeah, good, thanks, mate.

53-year-old Nev Wilshire may be the commander-in-chief of

a multi-million-pound cold-calling empire but, as always, he insists

on meeting the latest batch of new recruits on their first day at work.

Come on, then. Let's go, let's get in there. Time's money.

Dave, get in here. Come on, Dave. Come and have a song.

OK, people, are we all right? Are we all fed?

Are we all happy?

OK. Happy people sell, miserable bastards don't.

Is that right?

You sell with a smile on your face.

Right, OK. Happy people sing, don't they?

It lifts your spirits. You don't sing sat on your arse,

you sing stood up to project your voice.

Mr Brightside, The Killers, C sharp, here we go.

MUSIC: "Mr Brightside" by The Killers

On your feet. Let's go.

And we go for this. There is no messing.

# Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine

# Gotta, gotta be down because I want it all

# Started out with a kiss How did it end up like this?

# It was only a kiss It was only a kiss... #

'To be in charge of 700 people, sometimes it's daunting'

but it's a challenge. You've got to motivate 700 people.

It is the task. And I love it, absolutely love it.

# ..his chest now He takes off her dress now

# Let me go... #

You can't sing with your hands in your pockets.

'I would sack somebody for not singing.

'I have sacked some...two people for not singing.'

We have a motto here - happy people sell. Smile as you dial.

You all right at the back?

# Jealousy Turning saints into the sea

# Swimming through sick lullabies

# Choking on your alibis

# But it's just the price I pay

# Destiny is calling me

# Open up my eager eyes

# Cos I'm Mr Brightside. #

OK, good effort. Good effort.

'There's a lot of unhappy people'

and it is my duty to get their heads up, to get them

a little bit enthusiastic and put things back in perspective.

Nev's passion for keeping his workforce happy doesn't stop at

their professional life, it extends into their private lives too as

25-year-old admin assistant Kayleigh Davies

is about to find out.

'Kayleigh's a lovely girl but unfortunately

'she comes from Llanelli.

'I think she didn't eat for six days'

but push has come to shove,

time's gone on and it is now time for me to sort it out.

-Kayleigh.

-Nev.

-How are you?

Bottom line, you've been a miserable bastard for the last couple of days.

Not my fault, but, yes.

I mean, this bloke was a complete bastard to you.

Yeah.

And you deserve better.

I'd like to think so, yeah.

I think so, but life is a bitch sometimes. OK?

It's just adjusting though.

But you've got to remember - S-W-S-W-S-W-N.

-Some will, some won't. So what? Next.

-OK.

-All right?

''Unfortunately she caught her boyfriend texting other girls.'

She thought she'd found true love and is bitterly hurt.

-You're not baking any more, are you?

-No.

-So why aren't you baking?

I would made cakes for him every time he came home.

-It was my kind of thing for him.

-Lucky git, right.

And now the person that he is with is making cakes for him.

-It's...

-The cow.

-It's upset me a bit.

-Upset you a lot.

-Yeah.

Yeah, you've downed tools and you don't bake any more?

Her self esteem is through the floor at the moment but

she's a nice girl, she's an attractive girl,

she's got plenty going for her. She'd make somebody a lovely

partner and I believe she would be faithful too.

So you're going to get your happy head on,

you're going to accept the boot up the arse that I'm going to give you.

-OK.

-Let's get your passion back for baking.

OK.

So let's go. Head up, shoulders back, tuck your arse in, let's go.

Any single blokes here, I've got a desperate female.

-Are you single?

-No.

Ah, OK, then. No, we've not... This room's crap.

-Are you single?

-Yep.

Oh, a single boy. Give her a hug.

Get in there. Hug, big hug.

Anybody else need a big hug? Any single blokes need a hug?

This is a young single female looking for a date.

-I'm up for a date.

-He's up for a date.

I'm free this weekend, I'm free this weekend.

Get up and give her a hug.

Give her a hug. Let's just see if it's OK.

Come on, Ash. Ash is single. Just see if she's huggable.

I cannot believe you.

Come on, Kayleigh.

WORKERS: Aww!

Hang on. Group hug. Group hug.

-Was that nice?

-I'm going to kill you.

-You're going to kill me?

-Yeah.

Anybody single down here? Anybody need a hug?

Single boy. You're not single, you lying git. You lecherous pervert.

-Are you single?

-Yes, why?

Do you fancy Kayleigh? She needs a date.

-What for?

-For a date cos she's dumped, that's why.

She got dumped? How come? Oh, no. Probably shouldn't ask that.

-Yeah, you could.

-No, OK.

-How come you got dumped?

I got cheated on.

-That's a bastard. You would never cheat on her, would you?

-No.

He had to think, then.

Yeah, he had to think. Let's go somewhere else.

He can sometimes have banter with you, abuse you,

in a funny way, but you don't know how to take it

but you realise then,

as time goes on, he's like it with everyone. That's just Nev, you know.

It doesn't matter if you're male or female, 18 years old or 60 years

old, his number one priority is if you're in here to work,

he will try everything in his power to try and put a smile on your face.

I'm trying hard here. You just weren't giving me anything.

You haven't asked me what my type is

and you don't seem to be picking my type.

Well, I just assumed single bloke.

No, I do have some sort of standards.

Yeah, but they're pretty low.

OK, judging by the last one, maybe, yes, but,

you know, I am not that bad.

Oh, I can't believe he's done that.

I should have known, shouldn't I?

He's not going to stop till he finds someone. He's that type of person.

So I've got a long time for this to go, I think.

Just a quick call. It's in regards to a refund you may

be entitled to now for payment protection insurance.

Nev's sales team makes roughly 1.5 million unsolicited calls a year

with each agent making up to 200 calls a day.

I'm calling about a refund you're now entitled to on PPI, yeah.

'Can I just stop you there, I'm not interested,

'I ain't got any PPI, never had any so...'

90% of people I speak to don't realise it's on their policies.

'Well, we've got none at all, I mean...'

-You've paid your mortgage off have you?

-'Yes, we have.'

OK, you could claim it back on your mortgage,

have you taken your mortgage out after '98?

-DIALLING TONE

-How rude.

The most effective way to guard against the barrage

of cold calls that many of us hate is to register

with the Telephone Preference Service.

'Well, anybody's got the right to register'

with Telephone Preference Services and we would totally respect that,

but why would they?

They'd miss out on our wonderful range of money-saving opportunities

and products that can enhance their living

and they'd miss out on speaking to Chickenhead.

So you're not Mrs Booth, then, are you, no?

'No, I'm not Mrs Booth, I'm Mrs... I'm Carol...whatever.

'But I'm not Mrs Booth.'

Ah, you sound like Mrs... LINE GOES DEAD

I think it's quite funny when they hang up.

I had an old lady once that... Saying that

I hope I die and hope I get killed and that,

and I thought that's pretty shocking from an older lady.

I'm calling in regards to your property. Are you the homeowner?

I have to put a phone voice on the way I speak.

-Instead of saying phone, I'll say...

-SHE ENUNCIATES:

-"phone".

Instead of saying don't, I'll say, "don't",

and instead of saying calling I'll say, "calling".

So I change my voice completely when I go on the phones.

But sometimes even a posh voice isn't enough to bag a sale.

LINE GOES DEAD

Nobody likes my voice. Nobody likes my voice. End of.

Hi, there, can I speak to a Mrs Wine, please?

'No, she doesn't live here.'

Oh, right. OK, well, this still might apply to yourself.

LINE GOES DEAD Bleugh.

Oh, I've been told to ... off a lot of times in the beginning.

Well, in the beginning I was crying and everything, it's so horrible

but you learn to man up and just to get on with it.

Back in the training room, the new starters are learning to develop

the thick skins they'll need to cope with life at the call centre.

You know the rules. Don't yawn. Yawning's rude

-when I'm speaking. Is that OK?

-Yeah.

And Nev is on hand to help them develop it.

-Adam.

-Hiya.

-Are you ginger?

-Yeah.

Didn't anybody tell him we've got a gingerless policy?

We're up to our full quota of gingers at the moment.

There's nothing we can do about it. You're here now.

One thing Napoleon had, right, was passion and belief and even

when he'd been put in exile or, you know, had

lost a battle, he believed that his army was the best

ever, you know, invincible, and he believed, he had

a passion for his cause and a passion for his country and I think

if somebody works alongside me, they'll feel the passion.

From being in central heating all my working life,

I can identify any boiler that's been fitted out there

since day one and tell you what it is and what its life expectancy

is, so I've got to jump on everybody else that wants to do it, yeah?

The guy that was doing it before me in Swansea,

used to work for Swansea City Council. He could do three a day.

I could do 12 to 15, OK?

Cos proper planning prevents piss-poor performance.

And so there's a yawn at the back! Get down.

GIGGLING

Stay awake. If you can stay awake, it would be great.

Well, I mean they would have had good warning.

Everybody tells them in training, "Don't yawn when Nev's

"speaking or he will throw things at you," and whatever comes to hand

whether it's a whistle or a pen or a pasty or a sausage roll or whatever,

that is what's going to get winged across the room straight at them.

'I always aim well above their heads so nobody gets damaged

'but they've got to stay awake. They're not in school any more.'

So here's an opportunity, people. Do you want to do three a day?

No.

Go and work for the council if you do. Don't work for me.

You're not going to last.

Aim high.

Yeah?

Go for it.

My old sales manager used to say, "If you see a beautiful blonde at the

"bar and you don't ask her out, guess what? She's not going out with you."

Some of you are going to struggle. Some of you are not going to be here

in a month's time and some of you

are going to graft your way to success.

And for those that do struggle,

Nev will often refuse to give up on them.

If you have this done, though,

obviously you're going to notice a difference in your energy bills

and in the property and it's absolutely free.

Since leaving school at 16,

23-year-old Hayley Pearce has only ever worked in call centres.

But in the last few weeks she's been struggling to hit sales targets.

If they don't make it on the phones, instead of throwing them out,

everybody's good at something, if they really want it, then surely

we can do something with them and it's a disappointment if we can't.

So Hayley is a good example of somebody that

we were struggling to find any shaped hole for her at all

and then, all of a sudden, there it was.

Determined to keep one of his longest serving employees, Nev

has invited Hayley to take charge of the call centre tea trolley.

I don't know, like, I love it strong.

I've been to other call centres and none of them are like this.

Do you know what I mean, like?

I don't want to be stuck in a call centre all my life, you know,

and I don't really want to be making tea for ever,

but, you know, I'm happier and it's a good place to work, like, so...

I don't know if I put sugar in but just...

You might want to taste it.

I'm stressed now, do you know what I mean?

I don't know. Did I put sugar in?

See, you're distracting me now. I didn't put sugar in.

Hayley is just nuts.

She can't turn up on time but you just can't sack Hayley.

She'd keep coming back, for a start. You couldn't get rid of her.

And today's no different, with Hayley late again.

I always have this, running to work every morning. Have a sprint,

out of breath, but I've not had my breakfast this morning now so...

Let's go make some tea.

Unfortunately, Hayley, like all employees, must clock in using

an electronic fingerprint scanner.

She's picked up her trolley and she's managed to come in 50 minutes late.

Timekeeping is not her forte.

I've had a gut's-full now.

Hayley's constant pumping is taking its toll on her urns.

It's not working again.

Do you want me to try it out for you? Let me have a look.

Today Nev has made the time to investigate

the cause of Hayley's unhappiness.

It's empty.

Yeah, I know cos I just tipped it out.

-You've broken it, Hale.

-No, I haven't. That was broke ages ago.

You've totally ballsed it up.

Is this one working at all?

It would help if it was filled up a bit.

Give it a try, this one.

There's only one man in my life and he's my world

and that's my father but Nev would come... You know, he'll do.

If you're stuck in life, he'll do. He'll help you out, he's a good man.

And they don't want to see me sweating.

All my pumping, all my energy.

Well, they do. They're all talking about the way you sweat doing it.

It's... It was turning Chickenhead on.

Oh, my God.

But it's not just Hayley's urns on Nev's mind.

Tonight in Swansea Town Centre, he's hosting a speed dating event

in honour of admin assistant Kayleigh,

whose broken heart still needs fixing.

I was in work actually and something wasn't right and I seen the emails

then and I couldn't ring or text him because he didn't have signal

so I could only get hold of him through Facebook. And I confronted

him on Facebook and he admitted to it.

And it's probably the worst thing I've ever felt

and it's something that I never want to feel again.

And he... There was no remorse there.

He didn't care what he had done.

I did love him. I did think he was the one for me...

..but I must have been wrong.

It's all about people. It's...

The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.

Attending tonight's speed dating are some of the call centre's

most eligible bachelors.

23-year-old Springer has never had a serious girlfriend.

What would you say? Come on, then?

I'm just going to introduce myself, look into their eyes

and hopefully that works.

-Crack a joke or two.

-Yeah.

If they're laughing, there.

Right there in the palm of your hand, son, yeah.

If they're not laughing, just move onto the next one.

-Pretend you farted, is it?

-Yeah, pretend what you want.

There's some lovely girls in the call centre but I'm not sure those

are the ones that are going.

Dwayne is charming, you know. He would try and charm the birds

out of the trees, however, when he was a team leader,

I mean, there were boasts and brags that certain people

had shagged their way through their whole team. Well, not the blokes,

I hope, but... I don't know. I don't know how he...which way he sways.

Isn't there a mating dance for Dwayne?

-We've seen it on a night out.

-Mating dance.

Well, no, no, no. Where he goes...

# Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! #

You know, and that thing... Yeah, the old...

That's how he dances.

Honestly, there is... This is no joke.

-What about...? What about, though, dagger hands?

-Oh.

Where you're just throwing the daggers in.

That's the main move. There's no...

You can't pull a girl with the old...

29-year-old single mum Lisa has her eye on fellow sales agent Shaun.

If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

Come on, Shaun.

That's a hard one there.

You'd have to be a lion, wouldn't you, king of the jungle?

I said lion. Top of the food chain

and you can sleep with multiple people.

Half the time you don't need Cilla Black out there. I mean,

the more confident ones are at it like rabbits, I think.

Dwayne has got a date kit. Not many of us have got date kits.

I don't know if it's a South African thing

but he's got a hamper in his house that's got plastic wine

glasses in, a chilled bottle of wine constantly and...

Champagne now, actually.

And a blanket. Is it champagne now? You've upped the ante.

You can't keep on with the same all the time, can you?

So... And he's even got a blanket that he crosses his apartment,

seven metres away from the beach and you go on the beach

in the pissing-down rain is the best so then he can say,

"Hey, let's go back to the apartment, hey?"

So you get back there where he closes the deal.

The guy's in sales, for God's sake, he knows what he's doing.

With their shifts over for the day, Hayley

and her friend Jenni erect a makeshift nail bar to help the call

centre's single ladies look their best for tonight's speed dating.

It's not going to be talking about...

I don't know. Whatever speed dating is.

Say you say things like,

"Say a few things about yourself," is that what it is?

Yeah. I think you ask them three questions

and then choose who you like.

I can't be arsed... That's why... I can't be arsed.

I'm not thinking of questions and that.

Let's face it, you're not going to

meet your ... future husband at all, are you?

-Is there any hotties going?

-I don't know.

Shaun's going, mind, who works with me, he's lovely.

-Shaun?

-Shaun? Shaun Ford. Plays rugby.

He's a bit young for me, though. He's only 19 but, yeah,

it's only an age.

I don't know. Like, I don't know anyone who's going, to be honest.

-Don't you?

-I'm just going to get hammered.

I'm not drinking a lot but I'm sure I'll have one or two.

Loosen the mood.

There's not many of them here that's not chavvy, to be honest,

but, no, we'll see how it goes, innit? Hopefully meet someone nice.

I'm not fussy, to be honest. Brown hair, blonde hair,

ginger hair. Fat, thin, as long as they're tidy and respectful.

This isn't a normal speed dating night.

It's a Nev speed dating night so anything can happen.

We're in the vault at a pub in Wine Street

and it's speed dating night.

Bet you're excited now.

I've lined a couple of perspective punters up to come in her

direction. That's punters. Yeah? Don't misspell that.

And we are...

I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful to get Kayleigh laid.

I mean, you know, to find her a prospective boyfriend.

NEV LAUGHS She's put on her war paint.

I did, I made an effort.

I've gone for smart casual. That's a safe bet.

I don't want to dress too much

and I don't want to dress too little.

What?

-I'm underwhelmed. Good effort, Kayleigh.

-Thanks.

-You're looking forward to this, aren't you?

-Yeah, I don't know.

-No.

No.

Tonight's speed dating may have been set up entirely to find

Kayleigh a date but everyone else is keen to find love, too.

OK, first things first. Music on, no machine.

Hopefully my personality will be what they're more interested in.

Every boy and girl will spend three minutes together.

If they both mark "like" it's a match and a potential romance.

OK, loads of you lot are moaning to me, "I can't find anybody nice."

Half the time it's cos you're not nice yourself.

Three, two, one, go.

-My boobs have grown, though.

-SHE LAUGHS

I know a lot of the girls from Llanelli, they absolutely

love the porn, don't they? You know what I mean?

Personally, no. But, yes, I can see where you're coming from.

-Do you put out on a first date?

-Yeah.

Time! BELL RINGS

-Yeah, listen now, good luck.

-Thank you.

I've already gone past my favourite already.

I know, you always save the best till last.

I'll come back to yours again.

Three, two, one.

BELL RINGS

Shaun, number four, hot.

I think Dwayne, being the good salesman that he is,

he's trying to butter up the customer. Dwayne is probably

selling the benefits of being... "Hey, man, I'm South African, yeah."

You know what he's saying.

"You come out to Cape Town, I'll look after you."

And he's throwing... He's coming up with the big guns.

575 and then you've got council tax, you've got water, electricity,

you've got all the other broadband and everything.

By the time you've paid all the bills, it's like 900 quid.

What's your plans for the next couple of weeks and months?

I don't know. I just split up with the missus. Four-year relationship.

-To be honest.

-Are you on the rebound?

I'm looking for one.

-How old are you?

-25 next month.

-25, are you? You don't look it.

You look quite young, to be honest.

Yeah, a lot of people say that. How old do I look?

-I couldn't say. Younger, younger.

-Younger. That's a safe answer.

Springer's easy charm has succeeded in bringing

a smile to Kayleigh's face.

He's doing his best. He's doing his best to get in there.

Well done, Springer. You know, I think Kayleigh is interested.

There's smiles all over her face.

We're optimistic on Springer and Kayleigh.

Three, two, one! BELL RINGS

There's been one. There's been one but I'm not saying who.

After nearly three hours of relentless flirting,

the results are in but is Kayleigh Davies in the mix?

Kayleigh Brookes you've won yourself a date and it's David Hoskins.

Go and take him, he's your date.

CHEERING

Alex Evans, get off your arse.

You've drawn the short straw with Christian Grace.

Ah, come on. And Dwayne Bachelor with Kayleigh Davies.

Get up here, Kayleigh, come on.

Kayleigh, you've got Dwayne. Ah.

Watch it. Thank you very much. Enjoy yourselves. Good night.

There's plenty of food, plenty of drink, off you go. I've got to go.

Bye-bye.

Springer has lost out to office charmer Dwayne.

-I think maybe we'll go on a date.

-Possibly, yeah.

Possibly, but I think we should have a drink first.

-Yes, I think you're right.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

And then see what happens from that.

Lisa, meanwhile, has succeeded in nabbing her romantic target Shaun.

I'm ready to do some karaoke.

# The first time

# Ever I saw your face. #

Where's Dwayne? Dwayne?

You got two minutes?

Yep.

-How are you doing, Dwayne? It's good to see you again.

-All right?

Yeah. Come with Uncle Nev. We're going to have chats.

All right.

The morning after the speed dating and Nev is having second thoughts

about the outcome of his matchmaking.

So Kayleigh's looking for a nice bloke.

And you're not a nice bloke to girls.

Possibly, from back in the day.

Back in the day, six months ago?

No, not that long ago. No, longer than that.

Yeah, OK.

Now, Kayleigh is in a place where her boyfriend finished with her

and her heart was broken

and I would rather you tell her no now than break her heart again.

-Erm...

-She's in a vulnerable place.

Exactly, you know, and...I know that now.

Kayleigh is safe.

I'm so pleased. I am so pleased that Kayleigh is safe.

She is safe.

There's a lot of other blokes out there. Watch out for them.

It's just that she's put you down as hot. She's refused all that lot.

That's nice to know.

Well, I thought I'd bring that feeling down a couple

of notches by explaining the circumstances behind it.

It's right down there.

-Thank you, Dwayne.

-No problem at all, Nev.

He said in no uncertain terms, "If you mess her about,

"I'm going to throw you down the stairs."

Which I found pretty funny

but also quite scary, on the other hand, as well. I didn't want to

get myself involved in that sort of set-up so I thought it

was a good idea that I just call that one quits before it started.

I think Dwayne has been around too much and Kayleigh is

just too vulnerable at the moment to have Dwayne exploiting her.

So I would rather somebody a little bit more staid,

a little more stable in relationships than Dwayne.

It's not my fault I'm good-looking, is it?

-Hello.

-Kayleigh, how are you?

-I'm good, Nev, how are you?

Nev has seen off Dwayne but for Kayleigh it doesn't end there.

Oh, God, what are you doing?

Just wait there two minutes, girl.

He's bringing in a replacement.

Oh, God.

Ah, that's nice.

You've moved up so he can have a chair next to each... Right next to

each other. Move up, Springer, move. That's lovely.

Isn't that nice there now?

What a lovely couple.

OK, so where would...? What would be your ideal first date?

Take her to the football?

-Well, see what she likes. Let her decide.

-What do you like?

She likes making cakes. You could be well in there.

-I'm up for making cakes.

-You could make cakes.

-I'll have a go.

-Something different, isn't it?

-Yeah.

-Cake-making at Springer's.

-It's got quite a catch to it.

It has. OK, so 10 o'clock Monday.

Cake-making, Kayleigh.

-Are we OK with that?

-Yeah.

-Sod off and make cakes.

It's quite embarrassing, to be honest.

Don't know what to say to her,

but on the night I thought one of the other boys had a better

chance with her, but I won her over in the end.

She seemed a nice girl, pretty girl.

So hopefully, touch wood, she carries on being nice.

I only had a three-minute conversation with him.

It's a bit hard for me to say exactly what I thought of him.

Obviously, I did think he was good-looking but, yeah,

he did seem like a nice guy from them three minutes.

-INTERVIEWER:

-Is three minutes enough?

A three minute conversation? No.

Nev was born and raised in Swansea

and has been in business since he was 24.

Yeah, I would say I'm a workaholic like my dad, yeah.

And whether it's a good thing or not, it's just the way it is.

And if you love your work, if you really enjoy what you do,

it's so much a part of your life, erm, there's...

it's such a great thing.

You know, if you get up in the morning and hate your job

and you really don't want to go to work, erm, because

you hate the place, I've always said to new starters, just don't come in.

Please go and find something else. I just want happy people there.

Not just because happy people sell, I don't want it for them,

cos there's so much more to life than being unhappy in your job.

By 28, Nev was a millionaire, but at 38, his business went under.

It was a horrible time, yeah. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

But a businessman in trouble is a lonely place to be.

Yeah, it even contributed to the divorce so, erm...

Yeah, it affected the kids, it affected lots of people's lives.

Friends and family, close friends and family, it affects everybody. Erm...

If I had my time again,

you know, would I have been different? Well, I don't know.

But divorce hurts and business failure hurts

and, erm, it... it was a very, very difficult time.

I mean, the day that the business went down,

I lost a stone in a week, and I was still eating and still sleeping

the same and I thought I was running a good race, and, you know,

I had control of all my faculties, but I lost a stone like that.

Could do with doing it again,

but I don't want to be doing it in that fashion!

Since losing his business 15 years ago,

Nev has managed to turn things on their head.

Today at his weekly staff meeting -

affectionately known as a "shit sandwich" -

Nev has some very exciting news to announce.

Are we ready? Are we ready?!

-ALL:

-Yes!

OK.

Four years today, we started in that floor

with eight people in the call centre.

Today, we've bought the building.

CHEERING

Is that good news, or what?

-Shall I dole out some shit now?

-Yes, please!

-OK.

First of all, we've not only run out of forks,

but spoons and knives, as well.

LAUGHTER

Please, please, will you stop robbing the cutlery?

I can get you 20 knives for £1.70 in Booker's, OK?

They're not expensive, please don't steal mine.

What else? Even better news.

Erm, over here, we have got...

CHEERING

Where's Hayley?

-Out here.

-No, no, Nev!

-Yes, out here, out here. Your adoring public.

CHEERING

We've got Hayley-proof tea and coffee dispensers!

CHEERING

All we've got do is get a crash-proof trolley and we're done!

Thank you. Thank you, everyone!

Hayley Pearce.

OK, thank you very much, everybody go back to work or go home.

Honest to God, I nearly had a panic attack, I started crying.

It's just cos I was just scared that everybody was going to look at me

all at once, but I'm so happy and it's so lush, whoever did it.

-Nev, it's like Christmas!

-It is like Christmas.

Honest to God, I started crying. I never get that nervous.

Nev's empire is expanding, and there are jobs going at the call centre.

Today, a local radio station is helping out on a recruitment drive.

With nearly 10% unemployment in Swansea,

there should be a good response.

'So what should they bring with them, then?

'Are you looking for a CV,'

a well-dressed person, that sort of thing?

Yeah, I mean, obviously, first impressions count. If someone

could come down, bring a copy of their CV with them, we'll get them

to fill out a quick application on arrival, and further to that, then,

we'll get them interviewed straightaway.

Generally, it's the category that's a stable extrovert.

Got to have a little bit of glide in their stride,

a little bit of confidence, and we'll draw the rest out of them.

We do many of these outside broadcasts

and we're in offices and shops and things like that.

But this is one of the best atmospheres I think I've ever seen people work in.

Yeah, I mean, it comes right the way from our CEO. He says that

happy people sell and happy people work harder.

That's something that we try and follow right the way

throughout the company. We've got a good family bond from everyone that works with us.

Brilliant stuff. So it starts at six o'clock tonight, people can come down until when?

-Up until 9pm.

-Lovely stuff. Thank you and good luck later on.

No worries, thanks very much.

Excellent. Do you guys want a coffee or anything?

Oh... I'm all right, actually. Mike...?

It's early days, but Hayley's new urns have transformed her tea round.

Unfortunately, today, she has a new problem.

Someone nicked our tea bags, I think.

We had loads here yesterday.

-Jen, where's all the tea bags gone?

-I don't know.

I honestly actually haven't got a clue.

'She takes the tea and coffee so seriously.'

Anyone touches her trolley, she goes on a mad one. And when they

wind Hayley up, and she's so wound up, there's no unwinding her.

Nev's "happy people sell" mantra means pranks and japes are used to

encourage sales on the floor, but sometimes the pranks can go too far.

I'm going to go mad, I am. Right, sod it. Guys, where's the tea bags?

Hayley, I'm parched.

I'm parched!

Guys, where's the tea bags? This ain't funny now.

I'm just going to sit here and say, "Sorry, Nev, I can't work today."

Well, obviously, I can't, can I? I haven't got any tea bags, so...

I swear to God, whoever has got the tea bags...

She isn't to be crossed, she has got a short fuse, and I think

if you get on the wrong side of her,

you could have a soggy, cold tea bag thrown at you.

Hayley's heard whispers that shift manager Twe may have

something to do with her missing tea bags.

I don't care how important this meeting is,

if you've hidden my tea bags, I have to storm in, don't I?

Go, Hayley, go!

-Think it's funny hiding the tea bags, do you?

-What are you on about?

I swear I haven't taken your tea bags.

Look at me - I'm being deadly serious - I have not.

Why would they say that, then?

I don't know, but I haven't taken your tea bags. All right?

-Sorry!

-That's all right.

-I have taken her spoons and sugar.

-Yeah?

Yeah. Scott took her tea bags, but I told the truth!

Everyone's just going to have coffee today, guys, right,

and when Twe comes out, just shout at him, right?

It's coffee all day now. Sorry, tea lovers.

A joke's a joke, funny, ha-ha, but I need them back now.

No, I do, though. I need them back to do the job, otherwise the longer

I'm hanging around, the longer I ain't doing everyone, do you get me?

So I need them! Where are they?!

Across town from the call centre is Springer's mum's house,

where he and Kayleigh are ready for their bake-a-cake date.

Are you happy to do this as a first date?

Yeah, it's not something you'll ever forget, I don't think.

-I'm very particular about my cakes.

-Are you?

-Yeah.

They've got to look perfect.

Is this sexy, me stirring this?

With the pinny, yes.

If you didn't have a pinny on, I don't think you'd pull it off.

It's nice to be on the receiving end of it.

I'm good at receiving. I am.

SHE LAUGHS

-Do you want me to...?

-Go on, you...

-Spoon it out.

I think Nev will try and do this with a lot more people now that

he's had success, and I think, on a personal note, I think he'd be happy

to know that, you know, he's made me smile, he's cheered me up

and he's helped me find someone nice as well. So we'll just have to see.

You can lick that, can't you? I'm not going to.

-You can lick it, yeah. It's fine.

-No, I'm not going to.

-Are you sure?

I don't mind. I won't judge, mind. I don't mind.

At the call centre, Hayley has now spent 32 minutes

searching for her missing spoons and tea bags.

Right, I can take a practical joke for about ten minutes.

Any longer... You're taking the piss now.

Who's got them?!

I haven't put them there. I never put them there!

I didn't know they were there! How did I know they were there?

-How did I know they were underneath there?

-Course you did, you all knew!

Hayley, you dropped your spoons and your sugar.

Like, if it went on for 10 or 15 minutes,

I wouldn't have minded that, I would have laughed at it, but was it

just me or did it go on for a bit longer than it should have?

Now I'm behind time.

Everyone who's in on it won't have a cup of tea.

'Lee has gone and blocked her tea and coffee machines,

'so she won't be able to get anything out.'

I think that'll tip her over the edge, if I'm honest.

This ain't funny. This ain't funny now, cos he could have broke it.

Someone's put paper towels up there.

That's shocking, that. That should not... No, that's bad.

No, guys, this is bad, this is, now.

She's a little bit upset.

Yeah, I think she's got steam coming out of her ears.

You and Hayley are starting to get along quite nice,

now you're just... you're just ruining things.

Well, it keeps me entertained, keeps you guys entertained,

and I think all the guys will think it's quite funny on the phone.

One person not amused is Hayley,

who's gone to complain to her line manager, Dave.

What's happening, buddy?

Erm, really, it's just Hayley. They've taken it a stage too far.

What have they done?

-You know what.

-What, block the...?

-Blocking the....

-No, they're fine, it's working.

-No, but she's getting wound up.

Yeah, I know she is.

Yeah, but it's effectively becoming...bullying.

Oh, it's not!

No, but when she comes off there in tears, then, yeah.

-What, so she's upset?

-She's just getting fed up

because people have hidden things from her

and gone through everything, and really, I don't know who it was.

Everything's sorted.

It was a couple of us. I done spoons.

It's going to have to be, chilled, take it easy.

All right, Dave.

You're having fun, but it's gone that stage too far

and of course it's going to...

If you send her in, I'm sure that me,

Thias and Lee will all apologise to her.

-No worries.

-All right?

-All right, cheers.

The guy who manages her has said it could be perceived as bullying.

He just wants us to tone it down a little bit, so just...

Just don't go swapping the salt with sugar, or anything like that.

-It's a joke. Everything's fine, it's a joke.

-Taking it a bit far.

-How's it taking it too far?

-Blocked up with paper towels.

-Well, I didn't know that.

-See?

-And I didn't do it.

They could have been broken and imagine that.

Well, they're not broke.

No, leave me alone.

Well, I'm sorry you're really wound up.

I think she's just not taking it as well of a joke as we thought.

Jenni's sitting there laughing.

What, did you really think that she'd go that nuts?

I told you it was going to end sour.

Having friendly banter that can motivate everyone, including

Hayley, into having a laugh...

Some people see the funny side of things,

some people don't, so never mind.

This morning's radio shout-out has had the desired effect.

Many potential new sales agents have turned up, hoping to land

a job at the call centre.

You are right. I am a arsehole.

Just the way he's looking at me, you know.

Once they've filled out an application form,

they'll be interviewed by Nev.

Good-looking Welsh girl coming through. Can she have a job?

Yes, she can have a job.

OK. OK.

Can she have a job? Yep?

Fancy an all-nighter on this? Do you fancy this team?

-Can she have a job?

-Yeah. Think so.

Is she all right for a job?

-Can she have a job?

-How old are you?

-18.

-You're 18, are you? What's your name?

-Charlotte.

-Charlotte.

-Correct.

-My name's Steve. Nice to meet you.

Don't worry about him, he's just trying to

assess your confidence levels by walking you up and down.

-And see if any of the boys fancy you.

-Yeah.

-I'm trying to set you up here.

-Oh, good.

All right. Where's HR?

The HR department, I mean,

they don't sometimes despair of me, I think they totally despair of me.

-Charlotte, this is Jordan.

-Hi.

-Handsome boy, isn't he?

-He is handsome.

-Handsome boy, you know.

'They're trying to do a job, aren't they?

'Just trying to cover my arse.'

Bless their hearts.

-Do you fancy working here?

-I fancy working here.

-Bunch of nutters, aren't they?

-Yeah, but I'd fit in.

-Would you?

-Yeah.

-Have a job then.

As easy as that.

You know, they go through all this interview process

when all they've gotta do is walk up and down the sales floor

asking, "Can she have a job?"

You OK? Yeah, I'm fine.

OK. Get out, then! Go on, get out!

-Out.

-This is torture.

THEY LAUGH

Oh, what a character. That's all I can say, really. Such a character.

No, he's a great guy. Seems really cool.

I hope. Unless it carries on.

-Can he have a job?

-Yeah.

You haven't even looked at him. He's a handsome boy.

Can he have a job, Stace?

Er, yeah.

-Can he have a job?

-Yeah.

There you go. Look up, then.

Can this bloke have a job?

Yeah, he looks nice enough.

Joe is gay.

He's not. He's got kids, really.

Yeah? I have kids?

No.

You've spelt "consistently" wrong.

"I've excellent social and team working skills from my previous..."

Laboratory education.

Lavatory experience. Have you been in sales before?

Never.

Think you can do it?

I don't know.

I believe I could if I tried.

And I'd be quite willing to try.

All right. OK.

I'll give you a try.

Thank you very much.

Well done.

10 o'clock on Tuesday.

You need to be in there before ten,

so get there about ten to ten on Tuesday.

I can be there for nine, half nine?

No, you'll be sitting down slurping all the tea

and coffee that's going, then.

I'm not much of a coffee or tea drinker, to be honest.

OK.

Good, OK. Ten to ten over there in the canteen on the first floor.

OK. All the best, son.

I don't know, I think that's a 50/50. I'll give him a crack.

People are going to shout at me about that one, again.

"I put 100% into every job I'm given and push myself at every

"given opportunity within a company."

Sounds bollocks to me.

SHE LAUGHS

It does, doesn't it?

It's not honest.

It's not? You really are good.

So, would you like a job?

Yes, please.

She said, "Yes, please." Does it every time, doesn't it?

OK, I know you've written an awful lot of stuff down here which

I haven't really looked at or read but start Tuesday.

-You OK to start Tuesday?

-Yeah.

10 o'clock on Tuesday then and you're looking good.

-OK.

-Excellent.

-Thanks very much. Thank you.

Thank you very much, well done.

Thank you. Can I take the coffee with me?

Help yourself, of course you can.

-Excellent. Thanks, Danielle.

-Thanks very much.

Now you can get out. Go on. Out! Out! Get out!

-Thanks, Danielle.

-Thank you.

Bye-bye. See you Tuesday.

HE LAUGHS

What's the matter, Matt?

I just love my job, Nev.

NEV LAUGHS

Where's my next victim?

Having spent the afternoon baking, Kayleigh and Springer have

brought in their lovingly crafted bundle of joy to show Nev.

-The cake-making went all right, then?

-Yeah, it went well.

Cos Kayleigh was just saying that you're a good snogger.

Erm, I don't remember that.

What?

I should really learn not to tell you ANYTHING from now on.

-I'm pleased for you both.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

It was his idea to design it like this.

What do you reckon, Nev?

A heart. Heart, Springer.

Do you want to tell him about your other romantic gesture that you did?

-Yeah. Erm...

-Go on, then.

Remember the film Ghost, with the pottery

and he went behind her and moulded the pots?

Ah, yeah, yeah. You didn't do that?

Well, I played Ghost, the theme music, in the background and I

went behind her like this

and we spread icing together on the cake.

How lovely. I bet you loved that, didn't you?

You were right up for that one, weren't you?

I was, actually.

HE LAUGHS

Ah, gosh. You're in love, aren't you?

You're in love already! You are.

-No, no, no.

-You're smitten.

I'm not in love, I'm not smitten.

-You're smitten.

-I'm just happy.

-Are you?

-Yes.

Oh, well, it's nice to see you happy.

It only cost me 500 quid to do the speed dating night.

-Paid off, though, hasn't it?

-To get you laid.

Not to get me laid. We've talked about this.

That was not the aim of it.

No. OK. Shall we take it out to the call centre, then?

Give everybody a piece.

-If you want.

-Come on, then.

Is it safe to carry that?

Oh, trust me.

Whoa!

Do not drop the cake. Please don't drop the cake.

OK, does anybody want a piece of cake?

Springer's cooking.

Look at it. And it's even got a heart.

A heart with the Maltesers, that's what they've made.

He's like Cilla Black, isn't he? You are like Cilla Black, Nev.

That's what we should call you from now on, Cilla Black.

Why, because I can sing?

Cos like, the date went well

and I can see there's a bit of chemistry.

It's lust.

Lust, love, same thing.

Kayleigh Davies there is in lust.

See what happens. Obviously we'll keep in touch and

hopefully plan another date, is it?

Yep, I think so.

I enjoyed it anyway. Nice.

LAUGHTER

Make sure I look good.

Rawr.

-Hiya, Kayleigh.

-Nev.

Yes! Are you still my friend?

I haven't decided yet. What else have you done?

-What else have I done?

-Yeah.

-Nothing.

No, are you sure?

-Two weeks ago you were a miserable bastard.

-Yeah.

And now look at that smile, it says it all.

-What?

-I can't believe you.

There's no need to thank me, no need at all.

Do you embarrass him as much as you embarrass me?

Embarrass him a bit, but not as much.

Nowhere near as much as I embarrass you, no.

Thought so.

But you are happy now, aren't you?

SHE LAUGHS

I am a lot happier, yes.

Yes! She's happy! There we are.

Well done, Kayleigh. You've done very well in not cocking it up thus far.

Thank you very much.

-Keep up the good work.

-I'll try.

-Don't wear him out.

-Bye, Kayleigh.

-Bye, Nev.

HE LAUGHS

That laugh says it all.

He's awful, absolutely awful.

Next time, the search is on for the call centre's finest voice.

# Guide me O, thou great Jehovah... #

It's a load of gibberish, it ain't even real words.

It all gets too much for one cold caller.

# Should I stay or should I go... #

I just keep on with that anxiety to the point where

I can't sleep and things.

And sales agent George...

He is introverted and somewhat geeky.

..struggles to close the deal.

-Did you want to give George a snog to send him on his way?

-No!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd