It's More Enjoyable Doing It My Way The Call Centre

Just calling in relation to lowering the cost of your energy bills

-by finding the right tariff available to you. Are you the bill payer?

-'I certainly am.'

Nev Wilshire is CEO of Swansea's third-largest call centre.

Get out! Get out!

What sums up my management style? Some say I'm barking orders.

Some say I'm barking mad. Woof! Oh, sorry!

But there's life in the old dog yet.

BARKING

"Not again! Not again!"

It's an industry that now employs over one million people in the UK,

with an average age of just 26.

"Oh, piss off!"

Call centres are the factories of our time.

Get these deals, make these calls. That's what I'm talking about.

I think I just dialled your missus by mistake.

But times have been tough.

A few years ago, the Queen had an annus horribilis - a horrible year.

We've had an annus anus.

It's been tough.

-Go on.

-Don't yawn!

More than ever, Nev's relied on his unique approach

to motivating his young workforce.

-Oh, Jonny!

-Now he's fighting back.

See, that's what you've got to beat!

So we're making money again now, yeah? Go to it, then.

With his loyal troops right behind him.

Our main challenge in HR is, erm...

Hey, Jeff! You're looking good.

I was going to say Nev then, but don't say that!

-Morale is on the up...

-Yes!

..for this Swansea call centre,

where victory is only a cold call away.

Are you not entertained?

What's it like to be in charge of 600 people? It's an endurance.

Sometimes it's a marathon. Sometimes you have to sprint to keep up.

But I love it. Absolutely love it.

Welcome to Nev's world.

Digging into my tit.

-'Hello?'

-Hello, is that Mr Middleton?

-'Yeah.'

-What are you doing? Piss off!

-Will you get me a coffee, please?

-Read that sign.

-"Do not touch." All right, take your hands off me. I'll have a coffee, please.

-'Only I, Hayley, know how to fix it.'

-All right. Coffee, can I get a coffee, please?

For call centre CEO Nev Wilshire, running a multimillion pound business means

keeping his managers focused at all times.

I'm expecting a big year. The game always changes.

The goals move all the time. We know it. You know, we've lived it.

You know, we're making money again now, yeah? We're making money.

So let's put the wind back into the sails, and get cracking.

-Yeah.

-All right?

-OK, yeah.

-Go to it, then.

-Cheers, Nev!

-Hello!

-How are you?

-How art thee?

On the sales floor, Nev has an equally hands-on approach

to motivating his workforce.

-Oh, all right. How new is that?

-He kept going. He kept going.

The nipple test is a good method for evaluating

the concentration of the call centre agent.

Cool. Cool as a cucumber.

I only use it on males. Never use it on females, believe it or not.

What I highly recommend is that, erm...

you go onto a price promise tariff, March 2015!

He wasn't that good, actually.

I'd have thought somebody of Jon's calibre would have been far better at it.

Oh, Jon's got huge tits, you know.

He's got a right pair. I'm surprised he wasn't wearing a bra.

He might have been wearing a bra, actually.

After a tough year, it's Nev's first recruitment day for six months.

Right, shall I just quickly introduce myself? My name's Abii Holley, I work in the HR Department.

Welcome to Save Britain Money, and thank you for coming on the assessment day.

With 20 jobs on offer, at £6.50 an hour,

plus £1.55 attendance bonus and commission, over 100 people applied.

Abii's job is sorting the wheat from the chaff.

Our main challenge in HR is, erm...

I was going to say Nev then. Don't say that! Cut!

Yeah, I love recruitment. It gives me the opportunity

to meet some victims and see if they've got what it takes to make it in the call centre.

HR don't necessarily condone my methods of recruitment.

But there we are. They're wrong!

There is the chance that he'll storm in at any point throughout the day in the assessment.

There we are. We'll be prepared for it.

But Abii and her colleagues have a plan to keep Nev at a safe distance.

HR have put a case together to the other directors

that I should be banned from interviewing.

I should be banned from the recruitment process.

I have feelings, you know. Somewhere!

Nev is keen to negotiate the impasse in a calm and dignified manner.

There's a HR person, there!

Come back! Was it something I said?

She's doubled back.

I've got a challenge for you!

I'm faster than her!

Come back! Come back!

But despite owning the building, there's one place even the CEO can't go.

She's just ran into the ladies.

No!

Their methods are shite and my methods work.

Well, to a fashion they will work. But, erm... Yeah.

And it's more enjoyable doing it my way.

Having resolved the stand-off, Nev has promised to let Abii

lead the recruitment day, and that he won't interfere too much.

-Morning.

-Morning.

-How are we all?

-Not bad.

They look absolutely average.

There's a smile and a cheeky grin on that one there.

That one seems fairly intelligent, but that's the spectacles.

I don't know whether he's borderline ginger as well.

I've had a lot of call centre jobs,

A lot more inbound, so I'm more used to inbound, not outbound,

so it'll be a bit different, but I'm sure I'll get it.

Then we've got purple hair.

I'm jealous, of course. Any hair, I'd be grateful.

Pubic hair, I'd be grateful.

I'm feeling like I've got to tone it down a little bit.

I'm already getting a bit,

my personality is already bursting out and I'm just, like,

toning it a bit down, because that's just me, I mean.

Can't help it.

And then there's my nan on the end there.

I think she could probably cook Welsh cakes,

so there's every chance she's going to get a job.

-OK.

-Thanks, Nev.

OK, so you've all met Nev.

-What do you think?

-He's all right.

-Interesting? Interesting character.

Basically, all I want you to do is pair up with somebody

and just ask the questions to each other,

the questions that are in front of you.

And then at the end of it, I just want each of you to stand up

and just introduce the person next to you and tell me a bit about them.

It's just a way of getting to know each other. All right, guys?

You've come through to Kieran at Nationwide Energy.

Did you have the cavity walls insulated?

'Oh, God, no. I was waiting for a recharge of the bath chair.

'I was in the bathroom. So it's not you. Oh, God, no.'

I understand.

Do you know if the cavity walls have been done at all?

'No, they haven't, love.

'I'm sitting here with nothing on, answering your phone. All right?'

I understand...

CALL CUTS OFF

"I'm sitting here with nothing on, answering your phone."

That's what a woman just said to me.

One of the call centre's longest serving employees

is 22-year-old commercial director Phil...

-So that's the gap analysis on the whole thing, is it?

-Yes.

..whose dad happens to be Nev.

Phil, number two son. He was living with me from the age of 12

after the demise of the marriage,

which would have been lots of years ago now.

Phil came to live with me.

So, whilst building the business, I also brought up my son.

-Mr Grace, how are we, sir? How was your weekend, mate?

-Actually, good.

You woke up next to something or other, I saw on your Facebook?

Bottle of tomato sauce and a pile of blank CDs.

A pile of blank CDs and a bottle of tomato sauce.

-Sounds like a good weekend, mate.

-Yeah.

I know it's easy for me to say, being the boss's son and all that,

but I love waking up and coming to work.

I never wake up thinking "Shit, I've got work again."

-THORPEY:

-'What is Phil's job?'

HE CONTINUES LAUGHING

Oh, God.

How are we getting on, Steph? Cooking on gas?

You don't mess around.

'You've got different departments operating on their own initiative.'

Phil is the glue that holds the departments together

so that he knows everyone is on the same page

and not working against each other.

So Phil's job title is glue.

There are 166 cups.

That only took about three and a half hours to do that one.

We're working on the second one here to come along this side

so that we'll have pillars of cups.

He's bound to get the piss taken out of him because he's the boss's son.

But he started right at the bottom, and he's always worked hard.

He's covered my back. I can trust him with everything.

If he robs me, at least it's still in the family.

I'm on Google.

I'm not really working, am I?

I dropped it.

'Really, there isn't anybody that would come in

'and have that sort of desire that I've got for the business.'

It's my future, my livelihood as well.

So if Nev one day decides to pass it down,

then, yeah, he needs to know that I'm capable.

At the moment, I'm only 22,

so I'm not ready to really run a business of this size.

To prove his potential,

Phil's devised a teambuilding initiative to unite the company.

-I'm here to discuss a table tennis tournament.

-Yes.

-Want to get involved?

-Yes, please.

Hayl, I need to discuss something with you.

I'm putting a table tennis tournament together.

-I can't do it.

-Why?

It's outside of work. It's after work, like, that's the hard bit.

Not really. You could come in before work.

You like getting out of bed early in the morning.

-Obviously, that's not me.

-I'll jot your name down as a maybe, then.

Tea lady...question mark.

Are you any good at table tennis?

-I am absolutely rubbish, but I'll have a go.

-You'll have a go?

-Yeah.

We're going to ask Kerri Butchers next.

She is my better half, or lesser half, sorry.

Kerri, I am here to invite you

to the Phil Wilshire invitational table tennis tournament.

Have you informed them of what happened

when I tried to play table tennis with you before?

-You threw a bat in my face.

-I was playing table tennis with her.

I took a swing, the bat flew out of my hand

and just missed her head by about six inches.

-I'm too scared to play table tennis again.

-All right.

'All of Phil's life, he's sort of gone'

with Nev beating him at everything.

Because he's getting older, he really wants to take over.

I think it's always a thing with a lot of people.

They always want to prove something to Nev

and prove that they're good enough.

They always look for approval from him in every aspect, really.

# You're not very good You're not very good

# You're not very, you're not very You're not very good! #

Shit.

Ping-pong has been a staple diet in the Wilshire household

since Nev and Phil moved into an empty house

when Phil was 12.

Phil came to live with me

and I'd split up with my long-standing girlfriend

and she moved out, so we had this big house with no furniture

because I said, "Anything you want, just take."

So we had to refurnish.

And the first piece of furniture we bought was that pool table.

The second piece of furniture we bought was this table tennis table.

Then we bought the 60-inch plasma, the reclining chairs

and a fridge for the beer.

Game, set and match.

-Shall we get some work done, Phil?

-Yeah.

The trouble is, as he gets better, I get older.

I've been saying that for years.

There we are.

Thanks, Phil, go and do some work.

Nev is a lot harder on me than he is on the rest of the staff.

He expects me to be the best, and to represent him ultimately,

because I know that carrying the surname around here,

I need to show to the rest of the staff

that I'm not just here because of being Nev's son.

Keeping the call centre well lubricated

with hot drinks and sweets...

Hi, is that Mr Balin?

..is Nev's trusty tea lady, Hayley Pearce.

Do you want one?

I'm all right, thank you.

Hayley is regularly late for work,

but always finds time to look her best on the sales floor,

with just a little help from her local tanning salon.

Oh, my God, I need tan just to even go out the front door, you know.

I don't feel myself unless I've got it on.

It's just a fact that if you have a tan

and you have a glow all the time,

and then you go back to pale, you look ill, you know what I mean?

Today, though, Hayley's looking a little off-colour.

I have a spray tan every week.

It's very rare that this happens, like, very rare.

I don't know what the hell has gone wrong,

but I've got green pits and white armpits.

So I'm trying to serve tea like this today, so no-one sees.

So what's wrong with your pits today?

You're going to rip into me, so get BLEEP.

-Come on, tell me.

-Well, they've just gone green and gone off.

What has, your tan? What, it's gone green? Doesn't look green.

-Doesn't look green?

-No. Lift it up. No, it doesn't.

-You're lying to me now.

-It just looks white.

Oh, yeah, it does look green, actually!

All right, Simon, let me have a look at your pits.

-Show us your pits.

-Look at that. No messing around, that's clean.

-That's worse.

-It's BLEEP gone off. It's wrong. Sean?

Shocking.

It happens. Shit happens, doesn't it, Leanne?

Show us your pits, Dave.

I'm just showing everyone my pits because they've gone off.

-So I've decided to show it.

-Hairy.

SHE GASPS

-Hi.

-Hiya.

It's mid-morning on recruitment day,

and first to face the communication test is Stuart,

who's got an NVQ in business administration,

but has been unemployed for nine months.

I-I interviewed Matt-Matt...sorry, I do have a stutter. Matthew.

He spends his time rock climbing.

He spends time with family and friends. He likes c-cooking.

He likes paint...balling.

Stuart's got quite a pronounced stutter,

which isn't necessarily, um, catastrophic.

You know, I've employed people before who have got stutters,

and they have succeeded. But it can be problematic.

His favourite celebrity is Jean-Claude Van Damme,

because he's-he's a great fighter and a great inspiration.

M-my stutter came about when I was about seven years old.

It has been frustrating.

If you want to say s-something and you need to say it

but you can't say it, then it gets annoying, yeah.

It was quite hard through school, especially through English lessons.

But I didn't use it as an excuse.

I just said, "Yeah, I've got a stutter, so what?"

Come with me.

Nev can't resist doing this interview himself,

under the watchful eye of Abii.

Are you ginger?

-No. It's auburn.

-It's auburn?

-Yeah.

-Definitely not ginger?

-No.

-Because we have a gingerist policy in this place.

-Do you now?

-Yes, we do.

-Do you burn a lot in the sun?

-Not really.

-You don't, OK.

Because that's always a good litmus test of gingers.

-They burn in the sun. You're OK, yeah?

-Yeah.

'It's just trying to rein him in now and again to make sure'

we are being fair and consistent and to make him realise

that that is quite important,

and that's part of what HR is about, making sure that the process

and procedures are followed and that everybody is given a fair chance.

So, Stu,

have you ever encountered any problems at work with your stutter?

Yes.

When I was working in a catalogue firm,

I had this customer who said,

"You've got a stutter. Why are you in the job?"

And they said, "I want to speak to somebody else".

And I said, "Even though I've got a stutter, I can do it.

"And if you want me t-to prove it to you, then I can".

And the customer relented and I was able to resolve his issue,

and then he...apologised to me.

That's good. I think you're going to be all right.

That's my gut feeling. I think I could give this boy a job.

-But he does wear glasses.

-That's all right.

-That's OK, we're not being glasses-ists today.

-OK, fair enough.

All right, Stu. I'm reasonably happy.

Do you want to ask any questions?

-Shall we ask him a few questions?

-I've just asked.

-Shall we ask him a few more constructive questions?

-Like what?

'I'll take the piss out of anything.

'It's not that I'm comfortable taking the piss out of Stuart per se.'

If he sees it as a massive negative and a barrier, he's doomed.

If he can turn it to being a positive and use it to his advantage,

people want to help.

And if you can get to that stage

where you're rooting for him on the phone,

the customer at the other end of the phone is wanting him to do well,

they'll buy off him.

You've got to turn it into a plus.

I'm happy.

I'm a happy boy anyway, you know, I'm always happy.

-I'm trying to say I'm happy with Stuart.

-OK.

-I would be perfectly prepared to give him a crack.

-Thank you.

-You're a good egg.

-Thank you.

Despite what she was saying about you earlier,

-I think you're a decent sort of chap.

-Thank you very much.

Get out! Out!

'I think some people probably believe'

that people are quite...you know,

they are quite s-sensitive about it.

But, I mean, I don't think people should be sensitive about it.

It's just the way you are,

and if you're going to let it beat you down,

then you're going to b-be down.

So I just...just let it out.

Yeah, I've employed a ginger with a stutter, yeah.

I didn't want the fact that he had a stutter

to impair the decision on giving him a job or not.

So on this group, that was the only one I interfered with,

because I wanted to give him a job.

Down the hall, campaign manager Thorpey

is interviewing 23-year-old tattoo enthusiast Ursula.

I like to talk on the phone a lot.

I like to be a social person.

You know, friendly. I'm like Marmite.

You're either going to love me or hate me.

That's just it.

Ursula, you are a...

..a pocket rocket, aren't you?

You're 100mph.

Do you really want this job, Ursula?

-I wouldn't just say want, I need this job.

-Why do you need this job?

Because it's my climbing ladder to success.

People who just want things, I mean, you could want a crayon,

you could want a book. Want isn't good enough. Need.

You work towards need, determination, strive to drive.

You don't have that, well, you can go into any job,

but you're going to lack.

'I love the taste of success.'

Without success, you're nothing. Without knowledge...

Knowledge is power.

Success is power. I strive for success and knowledge.

Young, mad, tattooed, and sometimes

it's those most wacky type of people

who are brilliant at the job and will succeed and will last.

Good morning. My name is Tamara.

I'm one of the grants advisers here at Nationwide Energy.

'Why do you keep calling this number?'

Er, because it's on the database.

'Could you remove it from the database?

'I've said over the last five years

'that nobody has lived here with that name for the last 25 years.'

-Oh.

-'I'm getting a bit fed up with this.

'I've said it numerous times.

'Now, you have just rung me

'and my mum is very ill and has been woken up. I've had enough.

'Don't ring this number any more. Thank you.'

OK. Bye.

While Nev is keeping his cold call empire ticking over,

Phil is trying to prove his management credentials

by organising a ping-pong extravaganza.

It's just for morale purposes, to get people involved.

For instance, Jeff works in accounts,

so he wouldn't necessarily know Ben Hopkins, who works in customer care.

So it's a good way for everyone to get to know each other

and intermingle.

I'll get to know a few more people so that they don't just see me

as the guy in the suit that wanders around.

-We've already dealt with it.

-Phil!

I hold in my hands the Phil Wilshire Invitational Trophy.

This is the trophy?

If you've paid for it yourself, this will be all expense spared.

-I've just broken your pen.

-Well, that's just cost us another tuppence.

This isn't going well for me.

-It's like Christmas, isn't it? Hell's teeth.

-That's the trophy.

And it's got "The Phil Wilshire Invitational" on it.

It's good, isn't it?

If you took the base off, this would weigh nothing.

-What do you think?

-Marvellous.

Let's start off the tournament.

The competition's kicking off with a grudge match.

Thorpey's up against ambitious rival manager Dwayne,

-who used to play semi-pro cricket.

-It matters that I beat Dwayne.

Massive competition between me and Dwayne,

so if I lose this game, he'll never let me live it down.

I'd like Thorpey to win. He's the Ginger Ninja, isn't he?

Thorpey is going to pip Dwayne because at the end of the day,

Thorpey rules the roost, so he'll have to win,

because if Dwayne wins, then he's going to get BLEEP.

It's the best out of three? So 3-0. No, 2-0, isn't it?

Is it 3-0 or 2-0?

-Is it best out of three or first to three?

-Best out of three.

-So it could be 2-1.

-Yeah, 2-0. 2-0 to Thorpey.

Thorpey, good effort.

Oh, devastated.

If you keep looking at me like that, smiling, that's it.

Me and you are done.

You know why I won?

Because I was doing it for you guys. He was just doing it for himself.

I was doing it for the sales floor.

What an absolute load of bollocks.

Have the new starters started? I'm sure I saw newbies downstairs.

-They've been coming up for interviews all day.

-I thought so.

Why can't I see them? I need to see fresh meat.

Because they've all been, um, out of your league, age-wise.

The final obstacle for Nev's new recruits to overcome

is his intensive sales training course.

My training methods revolve around getting to know the, um,

the victims by asking them about themselves, their families,

where they're from.

I will tell if they're confident or if they're just there for the ride.

There is always singing involved.

Every new starter has to sing, whether it's call centre,

IT or accounts. They've all got to sing.

And the ones who go for it with great gusto

are generally the ones that do well.

Stuart, Ursula and Nev's nan, AKA June,

are just one performance away from a job on the phones.

But they'll need to be on their toes.

Do you know what's the first thing that happens

when Nev comes in, by the way? No.

Right, I need to warn you about this now.

Please do not yawn

when Nev is talking. OK?

I'm very serious about that. He doesn't like people yawning.

That is the reason why I'm always down with my coffee

first thing in the morning.

You don't want to be yawning in the morning.

-Why? What if you really need to yawn?

-Just drink something.

-I can't tell you now.

-Drink something?

I'm warning them against yawning.

I said, "Have some coffee or tea, and just clench your jaw."

-Tea or coffee, either will do.

-No sugar?

-Coffee, one sugar.

Are we all all right?

-Are we all up for it today?

-Yeah.

-Are you OK?

-I'm fine.

-Good!

-Marvellous.

Hi, Ursula. You all right?

I'm good, thanks. Are you?

-Why are you looking green?

-I always look green.

Because I'm angry. I'm like a She-Hulk, innit?

Innit, man.

Oh, my God. Here we go, it's already begun.

'I don't want to come off as judgmental',

do you get me?

But I will make a comment that he likes to be humorous, but so do I.

I've got a dark sense of humour, I guess,

and I can see a bit of a clash already occurring.

Welcome to Saving Money. Don't yawn!

I wasn't yawning, I was actually giggling.

I need things to throw if they yawn.

Look out, I'm going to throw sweets now.

-So what's your name, Ursula?

-You said my name.

-And where are you from?

-My mother's uterus, initially.

-Your mum's what?

-Uterus.

-Uterus?

-Yeah.

-I didn't ask about that.

-Nor did I.

I was just informing you where I was initially from, you see.

That's where I was created.

-But if you're asking place-wise, Bonymaen.

-Bonymaen.

-Don't judge me.

No, nothing wrong with Bonymaen...

that an atomic bomb couldn't put right.

On your feet.

You can't sing sat on your arse. You project your voice.

MUSIC: "One Way Or Another" by One Direction

# One way or another

# I'm gonna find you

# I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you

# One way or another

# I'm gonna win you

# I'm gonna get you, get you, get you, get you

# One way or another

# I'm gonna see you

# I'm gonna meet you, meet you, meet you, meet you

# One way or another

# I'm gonna meet you

# I'm gonna meet you I'll meet you... #

But not everyone is singing to Nev's tune.

'If I want to cheer up, I'll talk about something exciting,'

something that will grab my interest and stuff,

but not jumping around singing One Direction, that's for sure,

because I'm not a fan of One Direction.

I'm not 14, man. No, no, no.

# Na, na, na, na, na... #

'You know, it's coming off as if I'm dragging my feet,'

you know, as if I'm really cold and dead and not enjoying it,

because I genuinely ain't.

# One way or another! #

You are struggling like hell. Your body language is all to hell.

You are so uncomfortable, it's unbelievable.

Just shrug off all the coolness, all the shit, because we are selling.

Too cool for school does not sell.

And if you want to be too cool for school, go get another job,

because this is not the place for you. I'm telling you.

Sometimes people treat you like shit.

It ain't going to work if you try to be cool.

You've got to be nice to people.

You think that's a bit of useless information to have, but...

You missed! Go on.

Have a sweet. Energise yourself. OK.

'I didn't mean to yawn, but I can't concentrate for too long'

if someone's, like, talking way too much, you know.

Yeah, I can listen to it and I'll absorb some of it in,

but, I mean, it was just too much.

If it was short and brief

and to the point, to the point, to the point,

not everything so elaborated.

I'm a bit concerned about Ursula.

There's something there that isn't quite right.

Looking at her, you would say that anyway, but realistically,

there was a vacant expression on her face most of the time.

It's possibly one project too far, yeah.

Singing to One Direction was also a project too far for Ursula,

who didn't return to the call centre.

-'Who am I speaking to?'

-It's Richard from Nationwide Energy.

Are you the homeowner of the house that you sleep in most nights?

-'Who am I speaking to?'

-It's still Richard from Nationwide Energy.

That's not going to change, sir, during the course of this call.

In the ping-pong tournament, it's semifinal day.

Nev's facing 28-year-old Jeff from accounts.

-Ready?

-Come on.

-Get it on.

-Wish me luck, guys.

-No, don't wish him luck.

-Cos you know what happens if he wins.

-Oh, P45 time.

-Go easy on me.

-I'm not going to go easy on you.

'Nev's a natural born winner.'

He will never settle for second best.

In business, even at our peak, he was still wanting to achieve more.

He wants to get going and keep winning,

whether that's in sport or business.

He will keep wanting to carry on and winning.

-Well done, Jeff.

-Thank you, Nev.

-Good game.

How do you feel about letting the accounts department down

and losing to an old man?

-You're my boss. I want to keep my job.

-Oh.

Get out. Go on, out!

-Yes.

-He's done it!

-Get in there.

Nev usually wins. He does.

But from Nev being a winner, that sort of passed down to me

and my brother and my sister, so

we are a competitive family as well.

So we want to... We all want to win.

-Let's get it on, shall we?

-Ready?

-Yeah, ready to rock.

To join his dad in the final,

Phil must overcome sports-mad South African, Dwayne.

Phil and Nev, there are just so competitive

and so aggressive with it that, literally,

they won't speak to each other,

there's arguments, there's shouting...

Well, that was crap.

..but they have to win.

Even now, if I play cards against Phil,

if I win, he won't speak to me for about half an hour.

CHEERING

APPLAUSE

With a father-son final looming,

the ping-pong tournament just got personal.

This isn't really a boss and subordinate,

this is father-son, which is the biggest rivalry, really.

So, yeah, I want to beat him.

So, let me give you some tips for the final.

-Yeah.

-Don't turn up, right?

-Why?

Cos you're going to get pummelled.

'Maybe one day he'll be able to take over

'but at the moment there's life in the old dog yet.'

If he beats me, I'll be gutted as a fish.

HE LAUGHS

-'Can I ask another question?'

-Yeah.

-'Are you a spiritual lady?'

-Am I a spiritual lady?

-'Yes.'

-Well, no, not really.

-'You don't believe in God?'

-Well... Well...

I haven't got any beliefs at all, to be honest with you.

-Do you believe in God?

-'I do. And I know that he believes in you.'

He does, does he?

'He does and I know that he would love to have a relationship

'with you and for you to enjoy a relationship with him.'

Having been whittled down from over 100 hopefuls, eight of Nev's

new recruits are about to hit the phones for their first shift.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm sure it's a bit daunting for them but I'm sure they'll

find their feet by next week as they don't know many people yet

and they haven't really got to know the job and what it's all about and

obviously everything is a bit crazy compared to them for now, so...

Nervous?

Need just to get through it.

That's my... That's what... That's what I'm more concerned about,

just getting the first call out the way.

Hello?

Hi, guys. Hi, newbies. How are you all doing?

Has anyone told you the signs?

So when you're on the phones, you don't have to speak.

Yeah, there we are. Tea, squash and coffee.

Do you want anything, guys? Yeah? Do you want sugar?

-Hello, there. Is that Mr Phillips?

-'Mrs Phillips.'

Oh, Mrs Phillips. Hello there. Sorry. My name is Stu.

I'm calling from Nationwide... Energy Services.

I'm calling you today about our newest grants available to help

lower your energy bills.

-Does that sound...?

-I'm fine, thank you. OK, bye.

Right. OK.

END OF CALL JINGLE

To become full-time staff, the newbies must hit their sales

targets over a three-month probation spell.

Hello there. My name is Stu.

I'm calling from Nationwide...Energy...Services.

I'm here to talk to see if we can save you money on your energy bills.

-'I'm not interested, thank you.'

-I'm sorry?

END OF CALL JINGLE

While Stuart struggles, June gets off to a flying start.

The reason I'm calling you today is about the newest grants

-available that will help lower your energy bills.

-'Oh, yes?'

And this is up to 100% funding

so that means you won't have to pay a penny towards it.

-That's brilliant. Thank you for your time.

-'OK, bye.'

Guys, well done to June. Give her a bit of a clap.

She's got two already. Well done.

-How are you going?

-I'm good, June. I'm good.

-Have you had a call yet?

-No, no calls.

-Are you on, though, are you?

-You're logged in?

-Connected, yeah, fine, yeah.

'I've always worked with youngsters, you know. All my life.'

I've got four children, ten grandchildren.

I go nightclubbing with one of my granddaughters who is 18.

She buys me jagerbombers.

Her friends inbox me on Facebook to ask me if I'm out this weekend.

How old is your boiler, please?

-DEEP VOICE:

-'I don't know. I'm only 12.'

Oh, right, OK, no problem.

People say that I'm good talking to people

and I like helping people as well so I thought, "Well, even though

"it's on the phone, I'll get something out of it

"cos it can cure my stutter."

That's why I've chosen to

embark on call centres cos I get a lot of satisfaction out of it.

I gain a lot of confidence.

Hello there. Is that Mr Hill?

After several hours on the phone,

Stuart's got his stutter under control...

What it is, we'd be able to get you a much more efficient boiler

which will make your house a lot more warmer.

..but is yet to make his first sale.

-'No, I'm fine, thank you.'

-Oh.

But you're able to take out the free...

END OF CALL JINGLE

'If you're asking me is Stuart going to ultimately stay here?

'The jury is out at the moment.'

Everyone in this company is driven by sales.

If his sales don't get up to a suitable volume within a set

period of time, then he'll fail his probation.

Whether he's a really nice guy or not,

that's really got nothing to do with it,

unfortunately.

Hello there. Is that Mr Terry...Sheehan-Crisby.

'No...?'

-'Hello?

-Hello there. Is that Mr Abbas?

'No, it's Mr Abbas's cousin.'

Stuart is on his final call of the day.

I'm just going to go through some more...

I'm just going to go through some questions

and then we'll be off and running, OK?

You getting on OK?

-Give me a high-five.

-OK. OK.

In the dying minutes of the shift, Stuart's bagged his first sale.

Bear with me just one second.

I just need to pop you on hold to get my manager. OK?

Bear with me just one second.

-Laura? I need...

-Brilliant. Well done.

-Well done.

-Thank you very much.

-Hello? Thank God.

-Thank you.

-Is that your first sale?

-Yeah.

-Well done.

-Thank you very much.

-Well done.

-Awesome. Well done.

-Thank you very much.

-Great first day, guys.

Well done to you all. I'll see you Monday. Have a nice weekend. Bye!

And there's one more person that wants to congratulate Stuart.

-Stuart.

-Hello. How are you doing?

-I'm doing all right. How are you doing?

Not too bad.

Park your arse, then. Making the place look untidy.

-How are you doing?

-I'm good. I'm good.

-That's fantastic.

-Welcome to this world, Stu.

-Thank you.

Always remember that what you think up here,

that's what you're going to get.

The goals you set yourself, that's what you'll achieve.

I always say, "On the next call, I'm going to get one this time."

I don't really say...

-I just carry on.

-Yeah, push on,

slowly by slowly, and it's going to take a few months before you

get really good at it and then you can start earning the big bucks.

-Fair enough.

-So, has the stutter affected you in any way?

-No.

-I knew it was going to calm down and it has.

-Any problems at all?

-No.

-I don't think about it no more.

-That's fantastic. Do you know what?

What you should do now is g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-get out!

HE CHUCKLES

-Fair enough.

-Have you gone? Out! Out of my office now!

-I'm going out.

-Bye, Stu.

-See you, Nev.

-Ta-ra. Thanks for coming.

-That's OK.

-Bye-bye.

It was vitally important to address his stutter head on.

For me, with my management style,

just take the piss out of it and let him make his own way.

And he has. In no time at all, he has.

I am very grateful that he believed in me cos when someone says

they believe in you, then you are more determined to get that deal.

It's incredible. I've never worked anywhere like this before.

It blows me away. I find this is the best speech therapy.

Really, it is.

Preparations are under way for the call centre ping-pong final.

Nev's ordered an extra-shiny table for the big match

and has tasked Hayley to make sure installation goes smoothly.

-Why haven't you got a man to help him in?

-I have got one there somewhere.

-He's out there somewhere.

-Pussy. Where is he?

Do you want me to give you a hand as well?

Well, I'll drop it. They can BLEEP film it.

There is no way you're going to carry that.

-Why are you making me do it, then?

-Don't BLEEP blame me for this!

SHE LAUGHS

Go to the side and I'll get a better look.

Come on, then.

SHE LAUGHS

You grab that side.

I can't believe you're BLEEP making me do it. Ah!

There you are. Piece of piss.

With the final just hours away,

excitement is spreading across the sales floor.

-Nev and Phil, father and son...

-Oh.

-..bonding.

-Who do you think's going to win?

-Don't know. I haven't seen... Hello?

I've seen them both play and they are both good

but I know Nev is not going to let Phil, his son or not,

I know he's not going to let him win, is he?

-You fancy... You fancy Phil, then, do you?

-I think Phil will win it.

-Tenner?

-You want to bet on it, is it? Ten quid?

-You're on.

-Happy days.

There's loads of things that we do in this company that could be

perceived as a complete waste of professional time.

That is what makes this company unique

and that is most definitely part of its success.

He's been in work on Saturday.

He's playing table tennis for about five or six hours.

If Phil wins, that is all he will talk about for weeks,

possibly months. Maybe a year.

To maximise his chances, Phil is asking

the senior management for tips on his dad's weaknesses.

I think you need to get in Nev's head. I think you need to.

You can say, "Old man, what's that?

"Struggling with that, fitness levels?" Etc.

"Long way to go yet."

Small things like that and just try to get into his head.

And play on the crowd, I would, as well.

"All these guys coming to see you win

-"and you're not going to be able to beat your own son?"

-Wahey!

-You know? Just...

-I like that.

-Yeah.

-You're embarrassing your family.

-And yourself.

-I like it. I like it.

If Nev walks in, for example, say, "Your shirt's a bit tight."

You know, play on that

cos he'll be conscious, then, of,

you know, how he's moving about when it's...

What about, "Shut up, you ugly bastard?"

Not as tactful as I would have gone for, but pretty...

pretty impressive if you come up with that!

I would say it to him over the phone or from a great distance,

-but if you want to go down that route...

-Talk with an accent?

Don't talk with accent.

Why don't you just tell him that your girlfriend's up the duff?

-That you're having a baby.

-Yeah, he won't know what hit him.

-He'll crap himself for the final.

-But what if he has a heart attack?

It could backfire, then. It won't be AS funny.

It wouldn't be AS funny, but, yeah, I'd still win

because he didn't turn up to the final so I'd win by default.

-Pros and

-cons. Pros and cons.

Let's dazzle him with my kit.

Now, in here

is a pair of daps.

A fast pair of sneakers from the 1980s.

A tracksuit bottom, Adidas tracksuit bottom from the 1970s.

This is when I played for Wales under-18s in football.

It didn't get any better than that. It was downhill from there.

And a T-shirt which is at least 20 years old, right?

So this is the stuff that would be worn when I was an athlete.

Eeh, ah, oh. Ah.

Oh! I'm nearly in! Oh, look at him.

I'm even wearing cuff links.

Yeah, they won't do you any good.

HE GROWLS

See? That's what you've got to beat.

Yeah, he's stuffed, isn't he? I am...

Am I feeling confident?

No, I'm just looking forward to a good game.

After weeks of anticipation,

it's finally time for the father-son showdown.

MUSIC: "You're The Best" by Joe Esposito

# You're the best around

# Nothing's gonna ever keep you down... #

CHEERING

# You're the best around

# Nothing's gonna ever keep you down. #

From the outside looking in, it's just a table tennis match

but I am here to show to Nev that I will, one day,

be ready to take over.

MUSIC: "Wild Thing" by The Troggs

# Wild thing

# You make my heart sing... #

Come on! Where is he?

Has he chickened out? Has he gone?

Has he gone home? Oh, there he is.

# Wild thing, I think I love you... #

You're all kitted up and I'm in a suit.

# I wanna know for sure

# So come on, hold me tight. #

'He does have to prove himself, doesn't he?'

If I win or lose, does it really matter? You know. But, yeah, it does.

Yeah, it does.

Let's get it on.

-MAN:

-Come on!

-Come on, Phil.

CHEERING

Always going to get the first point.

With the crowd behind him, Phil makes a strong start...

-MAN:

-Come on, Phil.

-You're sacked!

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

Settle down, now.

..but Nev gradually asserts his authority...

Yeah!

..and he bosses the first set with a flourish.

CHEERING

Yes!

CHEERING AND WHISTLING

THEY CHANT: Phil! Phil! Phil! Phil!

Phil's not giving up easily

and starts to land some punches of his own.

CHEERING

No pocket money for Phil next week.

OK. Let's see what you've got.

Yes!

Yes!

Are you not entertained?

It's two sets to nil to Nev

but the last one was close.

It's not over till the fat lady sings.

You know that anyway, don't you?

-Come on, baldy.

-I beg your pardon?

CROWD: Oh!

Nev's one set from victory and Phil's clinging on for dear life.

CHEERING

CROWD: Ooh!

CROWD: Ooh!

-MAN:

-He's coming back!

Finally...

CHEERING

Yes! That's it!

.it's heartbreak for Phil as Nev shows he's still the daddy.

Get out! Get out!

Well done, Phil.

Even, you know, when Phil was losing,

everyone got behind them and they were cheering for Phil and not Nev

so I think that made him feel a lot better that everyone

was sort of rooting for him and getting behind him for a change.

So the winner of the Phil Invitational 2013

goes to Nev but I'm going to get Phil to give the award away.

Or the trophy, should I say.

APPLAUSE

'Not everybody knew who Phil was before the table tennis tournament.'

Now they all know him. I've seen another side to him.

A lot more outgoing side. A lot more comfortable and confident side.

So, if he's in that sort of environment, getting to know

different people all the time, I can see him

being a massive asset to the company later on.

Thank you very much.

You just can't beat the old man, that's all there is to it.

Now I've just got to go away and think about where I went wrong now.

It was your forehand, your backhand, your lob, your smash and your serve.

-Yeah.

-Other than that you were all right.

-Thanks.

I think Phil did an excellent job of organising the ping-pong.

Despite losing to the old man, the boy done good.

He put on a show when the call centre morale needed lifting

and I am really proud of him.

Just don't tell him that.

Next time...

My boobs weigh a stone each.

..Nev seeks new recruits for his weight-loss club...

Oi, fat bastards, down here.

..sales agent George fails to impress...

I don't know what she said.

It's 60 quid that you've earned in a fortnight.

-I think we've come to the end of the road.

-OK.

..and accountant Jeff has to act fast to keep his job.

CHEERING