Episode 4 Normal for Norfolk

Here.

There are always people to avoid.

Roly, here.

Got to let them pass.

Look.

There they go.

Look. There, there they go.

Power walkers.

They're all very nice people, who come here...

..and then the lady rendezvous, and she does her keep-fit walk,

and they're keeping their physiques in trim,

rather than doing some useful toil.

Go on, Ted.

Go on, Ted.

Good boy.

Another summer has passed at

Wiveton Hall Farm on the north coast of Norfolk,

home to gentleman farmer, Desmond MacCarthy.

He's the one who's been keeping my mother awake, for weeks.

Desmond's lived here all his life, with his mother, Chloe,

now 101 years old.

My mother's lived so long because she's never drunk milk.

I like cream, you know.

What are your other tricks?

When they're not at university, he's joined by his children,

Isabel and Edmund.

Does Granny pay rent?

-She does pay rent.

-Bastard.

Oh, my God!

Last year, Desmond kept the wolf from the door

by the seat of his tweed pants.

Do I have a lot of cash around?

No. Other people's cash, yes. Mostly the bank's.

Earning just enough money from his 250-acre farm,

cafe and holiday cottages to maintain a country way of life,

and preserve the hall for generations to come.

Perhaps this is where the nostrils came from.

Thank goodness the double chin has been bred out.

-Has it?

-Yes.

This autumn, Desmond's on a marketing drive

to attract guests from around the globe to Wiveton.

I'm always saying we must get foreign people.

Yes, and they're either...

-And they're Chinese.

-Or Japanese, I'm not sure.

That's so much better.

And interest from an international magazine

prompts a major tidy-up at the hall.

Oh, my God, we must cover that awful chair.

I can't bear it.

The shabby chic was invented for this house.

It's late October at Wiveton Hall Farm.

Oh, my God, final sale.

-Many items.

-Isn't that good?

In a few days,

the cafe and shop will close for four months,

not opening again until spring.

Desmond's desperate to sell old stock,

and make as much money as possible to help them survive the winter.

That should be seven, £7.

-That should be a fiver.

-What?

Because they last forever.

Our restaurant is shutting in five days.

Rather sad. We're going to have to learn how to cook.

It's going to be sad.

People will leave, the farm will begin to shut down,

the customers will go, and I mean, it's rather like the party ending.

Anyway, never mind, we get ready for next year.

And what are we going to do to celebrate?

We don't celebrate...

Oh, what are we celebrating, the shutting down of the cafe?

It is mad.

We will lose 20 to 25 people.

Which is great from a payroll point of view,

but of course, we lose all our income.

Not all our income, because we still get our holiday lets

and that kind of thing, but the big chunk of income has finished.

Sell them. Are they on a discount?

-No, they're not.

-Well, then discount them,

-they're awful, get rid of them.

-Well...

At the end of the year, the cash flow is low,

and we haven't got all the income coming in,

and it's a bit of a struggle to get through to the next season.

And it's not because the cafe hasn't done well - it has -

but when you put everything together,

there's not a lot left.

This flour, look.

That needs selling, otherwise mice will come and get it in the winter.

When the cafe and shop close,

Desmond will rely on other sources of income,

like his holiday cottages.

Charged with enticing visitors to

spend winter in rural Norfolk is property manager, Emma.

These quiet periods is where I've got to start, you know,

putting my thinking cap on and rustling up some business.

I'm actually just putting all the properties on Airbnb,

to see if that works.

I'm also trying to do up one of the cottages,

to make that a bit smarter.

I said to Desmond that I just thought we should

maybe make the bedrooms a bit prettier and cosier.

So I've found a few wallpaper samples.

Desmond's coming down, because he's actually, you know,

he has a very strong opinion about these things, and, you know,

he's got a very good aesthetic.

Hello, Emma.

-Hello, Desmond.

-It's all, it's all happening.

Ooh, who's living here?

Who's living here?

-Yes.

-It's the three little bears and Goldilocks!

Do they have no clothes?

-It's so warm.

-I know.

Do you think in here...?

I like the white walls here.

Well, actually, maybe not.

Makes me think you're in Spain or something, it's very nice.

-Yes.

-I don't think anyone would complain.

Oh, why can't they turn the heating down?

Yes, we'll turn it down, don't worry.

So, I was thinking, this or this.

Oh, no!

-And he's off.

-And you don't want to do this one?

Yes, I want to do that one.

Look.

Yes. Oh, I love that.

Or do you like the rabbits?

I think it's rather cottage-y and charming.

-Yes.

-It's quite nice to make them a little bit unique.

-Yes.

-You know, that these have little, pretty wallpapered bedrooms.

-Yes.

-That they're not all the same.

-Desmond, hello?

-Yes.

No, no. True, true.

I'm looking at the crack around the top.

-That little crack.

-Yes, well,

-that'll get covered up by wallpaper, you see.

-OK.

Even without new wallpaper,

Emma's marketing push is proving successful.

We've got our first Airbnb.

Oh, yes. And I'm always saying we must get foreign people.

-Yes.

-And I...

-And they're either...

-And they're Chinese.

Or Japanese, I'm not sure.

I think they're more likely Chinese.

-Yes.

-There are more of them.

-So, it's very exciting.

-So, Desmond has been wanting to get...

-Yes.

-Why?

Well, because we've got to break into a new market, haven't we?

-We're always told...

-The tiger economy.

-Mm.

Just been told they're borrowing more than ever and they're

as in debt as us, but never mind. Let's hope we have some...

They might find you culturally quite odd.

Very good, that's fine. Well, it might be mutual.

All right. Going to see you later.

The cottages are getting a makeover and so is Desmond.

With the shooting season on the horizon,

he's commissioned a tweed suit from tailor and ex-wife Tina.

The material has arrived from a woollen mill on Islay

and it's ready for inspection.

-Hello, Tina.

-Hi, Desmond.

-Oh, my God!

-I've opened it already.

Oh, fantastic!

-How exciting.

-I've opened it already.

-I think you'll like it.

-Is it...? Oh, my God.

Let's have a look. Because I've got to live with it.

It's almost worse than getting married.

Got to live with it for a long time.

Look. Now, look at that.

There was a brief moment when I suddenly had anxiety

that it was going to be too green. And I'll be too leprechaun.

-Yeah.

-Let's look at it in the light.

-Go out there and get a mirror.

Oh, my God.

-Have a look.

-Does it make me look taller?

-What do you think?

-Yeah, I think it's really nice.

-Mm.

Isn't that lovely? Look at it.

-It's not too subtle.

-No, no, no.

-For a change.

No. Oh, my flies are undone. Whoops.

OK, lovely.

Oh, one can become obsessed by tweed.

The traditional thing is to wear a material

that actually blends into the country.

Who knows? No-one has actually asked a bird or a deer what they can see,

but if you stand in a white suit on the side of a hill in Scotland,

any movement and the creatures you're after to hunt would see you.

And you can see why people get carried away and obsessed by stuff.

Keen to increase global awareness of Wiveton's charms,

Desmond has managed to pique the interest

of an international interiors magazine.

They want to do a feature on the grand 17th-century hall,

which prompts the housekeeping team into a flurry of activity.

This is, you know, an extremely high-end magazine.

Oh, dear. Could the car be cleaned?

I think they've been wanting to come and do it for ages.

And then Desmond mentioned it to me and so I encouraged him

and said, "Come on, let's do it."

Oh, dear.

I thought it would be really good for business.

So hopefully, it will be.

Let's just look through here, Debbie.

They're coming to photograph the house today.

Quite an honour they think the house is nice enough and also

shows other people and some of them might want to come here.

-Yeah.

-Let's try and make it look nicer.

-Mm-hm.

-God.

What's this board? Let's get rid of this bread bin.

These are last year's nuts.

Do you think they're any good?

It will be very good publicity.

That picture's not very straight.

Come on. Oh, my God.

OK. OK, Desmond.

Remember to breathe.

And breathe. Right.

We must cover that awful chair.

I said... Well, I mean...

Well, well, a blanket. Something nice.

Something nice. I can't bear it.

We'll get... Well, I mean, we talked about it so many times.

-I think it's absolutely disgusting, that chair.

-Where do I put these?

No, I put some here earlier, but Desmond's taken them out,

so he obviously doesn't like flowers in the kitchen.

What about this sheet?

Is it being photographed?

Anything. Let's try that.

I don't get around half of what I mean to get round.

-Do we, Debbie?

-No, we don't.

-Lots to do.

-So much to do.

Get the other end of this thing.

-And then I'm going to go and do something else.

-OK.

That's so much better.

You could have a fancy dress party...

..using all the things in here.

I'm not a stylist, but I know what I like.

Yeah.

That magazine, it's got all sorts of

different houses from very smart apartments in...

..Palermo or Pisa or Paris, you know.

As well as some quite shabbier places.

Where do you put yourself on the scale?

Well, I think we are on the shabby...

The shabby chic was invented for this house.

The photographer has arrived.

Along with the editor, who will oversee the photo shoot.

It's an incredibly romantic house,

and it's a house with a huge amount of history. It was, I think,

a Carmelite or a Cistercian monastery

destroyed under Henry VIII.

So it's got these kind of incredible layers,

and that is why we're attracted to it.

It's heavenly and homely,

and I think every piece of furniture has a story to tell.

Several stories, probably.

You put the camera too high again, so I can't film.

-No, I just had to do that.

-No, you've done it deliberately.

My parents lived in this room, mostly.

And the radio, no telly.

It's so old, you know, that they listened to the news.

Houses are a reflection of their owners.

So somewhere like this, which is built up of Desmond's family,

families before Desmond's family,

Desmond, Desmond's children - I mean,

it can't help but be a portrait.

-Do you see that?

-Yeah.

Part of Wiveton's charm is that it's the home of a working farmer.

-Come on.

-Have you spotted one?

There's a little one here.

Desmond's promised his housekeeper two egg-laying bantams.

But he's got to catch them first.

Oh, sorry! Sorry, sorry.

Dangerous business.

-Yeah, dangerous.

-Flattened.

Oh!

Yeah.

Oh, it's so hard.

It has to be the best of its kind.

So we span everything.

We do something very modern, we do something very old,

we do something very broken down, we do something very pristine.

But they all have to represent a kind of pinnacle, I suppose.

-Margaret, if you could drive them round.

-Yeah.

-Just gently.

Whoa! Oh!

Go on! Oh!

Blimey. Very hard.

Much harder than I thought.

This is a, in a way, one of the nicest English, romantic, old,

very grand houses, constantly lived in for its whole history.

And they're very few and far between now.

Oh. Oh, dear.

-Oh, dear God.

-My God, it's a sport.

It's an Olympic sport.

-Do you think that's all right?

-Yeah.

-That'll be all right.

-Look at that, beautiful in the light.

Yeah, no, that'll be fine.

This is quite hard, this room, I think.

It sometimes feels a bit rough around the edges here...

A bit rough around the edges?

But that's why you like it, isn't it?

And that's why it makes very, very atmospheric pictures,

because you want to somehow convey the kind of romance,

and the age of somewhere,

and obviously that is made a lot easier if it has some sort of...

If it doesn't look scrubbed.

If it doesn't look too new.

Desmond will have to wait for publication

to see if this exposure of his family home

attracts interest in Wiveton as a place to stay.

I'm going to go and say hello.

At the edge of the farm, the Chinese family

have arrived in one of the holiday cottages.

-Hello.

-Hello.

I'm Desmond MacCarthy.

Nice to meet you.

The arrival of the international guests

is a marketing triumph for Desmond.

We are now in international business.

We've got Chinese customers

from three of the biggest cities in China.

High-flyers, high-flyers in the medical world.

Any prostate problems, I know exactly who to go to.

The holiday cottages and the hall

are not the only accommodation being spruced up at Wiveton.

Desmond has acquired a second-hand caravan

for next year's seasonal farm workers.

On. No, that doesn't work.

That's the only thing that doesn't work.

Mr Feldgate Jr is helping transport it

-eight miles along the coast road to the hall.

-Oh, my God.

Hold on. Yeah, we missed that by inches.

-Yeah.

-Well done.

I'm more worried about the fixtures and fittings in the caravan.

Well, yeah, that's right.

It's not often you get a chance to buy a fully furnished home.

Well, yeah, that's right.

You know, yeah, that is pretty good.

Desmond needs to attract a reliable stream of

Eastern European workers to keep his farm going.

He's hoping a newly upgraded caravan will tempt them to Norfolk.

We started having Polish workers when I started growing more fruit.

They are loyal.

They work lots of hours.

Don't pay very much for being here.

And they can then... Happy to go home for the winter.

Oh, that was a...

What a journey.

I mean,

we've come from Yarmouth.

Yarmouth, yeah.

Someone is going to have a disappointing holiday

when they get there next year, but anyway.

God, look at the old wheel.

Bloody hell.

Oh. I don't think we want to come any further.

Very good. He looks a little bit on the sosh.

With Brexit on the horizon,

Desmond is worried his supply of seasonal farm workers may dry up.

If labour from Eastern Europe didn't come,

because they either weren't allowed to come,

or it wasn't worth their while,

it could be devastating news.

There, marvellous.

There might be English people who'd come forward, wanting to work.

But it's a might.

HE HUMS

We're going to see the new caravan.

It's rather good quality, Margaret.

Is this a quality...? Has the Wiveton vote gone up?

And I'm wondering who...

Rodney wants to live there.

Jack wants to live there. I'm pretty tempted.

Desmond has brought Emma, with her creative flair,

to inspect the new caravan.

Is it always going to be at this angle?

I think so. No, it's only just been put in there.

Don't worry.

-You get in first.

-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my goodness, a second bedroom!

Oh, I didn't know that. There is not anyone in there, is there?

I think it's great. Look at this.

Over the next few weeks,

Emma's job is to make it an attractive place to stay

for Wiveton's workers.

It's even got ornaments.

Some of the ornaments are superb.

-Roly.

-Oh, my God, look at the naughty mug.

Lovely ornaments. Lovely mugs.

Look, isn't that nice?

-Top shelf, top class.

-Top shelf, top class.

Look at this lovely bird.

It needs a good clean.

-Well, not much of a clean.

-But I guess...

Mistle thrush.

I mean, it's a fantastic place for someone to live.

If this doesn't pull them in...

If this doesn't pull them in, I don't know what will.

Yes, but it needs a clean, and maybe...

-Of course it needs a clean, but that's not bad.

-..and curating.

Yeah, curating, yes.

-Who's in charge of that?

-Well, you are.

-Oh, OK.

You are. It's one of your things.

-Oh, my God, this is like...

-Come up this end.

-Let's have a look.

-Ooh. Pungent.

-Oh, my God.

-It's a little...

Sorry. Oh, there's a lamp that's gone.

THEY SCREAM

Quick!

Did the earth move for you, Desmond?

It did. Is that what they say?

That's what they say.

In the bedroom. OK.

Now... Whoa!

The light's gone.

It's been several weeks since Tina

began work on Desmond's seasonal makeover.

Oh, my goodness, look at the sunlight on it.

And his new tweed suit is ready for a first fitting.

-Do you like it?

-It is very nice and subdued.

-Oh, look.

-I forgot to ask you to bring some socks.

-Stockings.

-Do you mind?

I'm not going to go home and get them.

So, shall I go and get some...?

Are there some of Edmund's?

-I'll go and have a look.

-Shall I try the...?

No, no, you've got to wait for me.

Oh, look at that. Isn't that lovely? Look at that.

I would have preferred that. Isn't that lovely? Isn't that lovely?

I'm just going to become obsessed.

Isn't that beautiful tweed?

I probably made a bit of a hasty...

I'll love it anyway.

I will love it.

You can't have that.

That's very, very exclusive.

-What do you mean?

-It belongs to someone else.

-I know it does.

-But yours is beautiful as well.

-Yes, yes.

-I don't think you should try these on, Desmond.

-No.

-They actually should be disposed of.

They'll be all right.

Don't worry, Tina, I'm going to have to put those on.

Just shake them out.

They were put away dirty.

-I know, I didn't know that.

-Well, you should go through...

They're actually quite stiff with dirt, aren't they?

They're filthy.

Anyway, I'll wear it for a short time.

The waist is fantastic.

Scarlett.

Come on.

Two pleats.

Do you think they need to be a bit bigger at the bottom?

-Well, I do.

-More fuller?

-A little bit fuller, yeah.

-OK, that's fine.

Why are they not full length?

Well, when you are tramping through the undergrowth,

if they were long trousers,

they would catch on the brambles and...

-They'd get wet.

-And they'd get wet.

Come on, let's put this on now.

Look, that's very smart.

Look at that lining. Oh, my goodness!

Yes, it's a really good lining. It's for a young person.

Oh, good.

-Do you mind the cat?

-No.

That's pretty good, you know, Tina.

-Is it?

-I've got a lot of bulk to me.

-It's quite broad.

-I am broad.

Can you raise your arms?

What does that feel like?

Just a tiny bit tight.

Where is it? Round the back?

-OK.

-Just here.

I know the front has got to be let down a bit.

Do you see how it's sort of popping up at the front?

Tweed is the centuries-old uniform of the country gentleman.

It's that quintessential English look

that attracted the international interiors magazine

to photograph Desmond's home.

The edition featuring Wiveton Hall has just arrived in the post.

Let's have a look.

-Conde Nast.

-Oh!

-Would you like to open it?

-Yes.

Oh, my God, this is so exciting.

Oh, my God, we're on the front cover!

Oh, my God, it looks beautiful.

Look, and Annabel's lovely birds.

-That's nice.

-There's your bathroom.

It makes the bathroom look nice.

So tidy.

I didn't know you were so tidy, Desmond.

Very tidy.

Oh, look.

-I hope being in this will bring a few more people.

-Yes, yes.

Well, I think this will be good for the wing,

which is the bit we want to...

-Rent out.

-Yes.

So we've already had someone ringing

saying they want to come and stay at Easter. So that's good news.

Very good. Look at that.

-That's cool.

-Where is that?

-That's in Uruguay.

-God, you can almost hear

the mosquitoes, can't you?

We may move there.

-That's very good and it's nice to have a record of it.

-Exactly.

When you're...

-When all has gone pear-shaped and...

-And we're living in Uruguay.

Living in Uruguay.

We'll take this with us and you can remember it.

Sell up, get out fast.

A very nice brochure.

And we'll try and sideline the estate agents.

-Very good.

-Yes.

-Well, there we are.

-Here, champ.

-Yes, Dad?

Look at that!

The new marketing strategy is paying off.

Wiveton Hall has been launched on the international stage.

I think we must celebrate by

going to have a quick cup of tea and a massive slice of cake.

I haven't had cake for ages.

Come on.

The cleaners at the holiday cottages have alerted Desmond and Emma

to comments left by recent occupants.

Shall we go down this way?

We had these Chinese people, they came and they were very nice,

and apparently they have left a message in the visitors' book.

Now, do you think this needs improving a bit?

Yes.

Oh, dear.

Like any hospitality business, responding to feedback is crucial.

Oh, my God. Look at that.

Oh, "What a wonderful week. Good walks."

Nice handwriting.

Yes, very nice.

"The cottage is perfect,

"everything you need for a relaxing and comfortable break."

It's very kind of them.

They needn't write quite such an essay.

It has taken up most of their holiday.

-Well, you know what, Desmond...

-"Fantastic wildlife,

"amazing birds and the comforting call of the owl at night."

"Beautiful cottage, prepared and cleaned as a home from home,

"but we absolutely hate the hunting pictures."

-Oh, really?

-"A beautiful wildlife and nature preservation place

"such as Norfolk, then artwork promoting

"the useless killing of our

"wonderful, living creatures. Horrific."

She didn't like that.

"The beautiful wildlife" - the boar.

You've got to learn how to shoot the boar, haven't you?

Haven't you?

You can't have them everywhere. Anyway.

She thinks...

She's the sort to think you've got to leave everything to nature.

Oh, my God!

That's nice.

-Well, we don't know.

-No.

-We don't know.

"A very nosy man came round, the moment we got here.

"We were about to put our feet up,

"nosey man came in and asked so many ruddy questions,

"I wished I was back in Beijing."

"We are never going to come again,

"certainly won't recommend our friends."

Next time, Desmond keeps with country traditions

by holding a shoot at Wiveton.

Got to keep quiet, Roly. Roly.

I've heard of people who swear at their dogs.

It doesn't do much good.

And as the end of the year approaches,

he rewards his faithful staff with a Christmas party.

We've got the tree in, so Christmas has begun.

-Has it?

-Yes.