Episode 4 Partaig

-What are these?

-Champignon sec.

HE SPEAKS FRENCH

Porcini with a whole clove of garlic,

blanched to remove the nippiness and the smell of garlic,

-but preserve the goodness, the benefits of garlic.

-Mmmh!

Yes, you can get a wee bit of the taste there.

You couldn't eat the Provence like that,

because this is not Chinese garlic, this is powerful stuff.

-So I will not offer you that one.

-I see.

You could launch a rocket with this one, could you?

This one, yeah. One slice to taste.

Now, what's this?

-Olive Nicoise.

-Oh, olives!

I'm from Grasse, Cannes, yes? This is our local olive.

I'm not very keen on olives, but I'll see what this olive is like.

Always with the stone, the olive.

Yeah? If you pit an olive, it's like removing your husband's heart!

Then you need to preserve him and add a lot of salt to keep his body.

That's why, the olives, people often say,

"I hate olives." How can you hate olives?

Here we go, olive.

You cannot hate an olive.

And this is the Nicoise. Taste this, it's lovely.

It's healthy stuff, it's a good cholesterol.

It's OK.

Put it in your mouth with the olive, go for it!

That's it, sweetie!

And watch, there's a wee stone at the end, yeah?

Milk. HE SPEAKS GAELIC

At the far end, right-hand side.

Um, just a little bit.

Just a bit, yes.

I just learnt a wee bit of Gaelic from the locals here

that come into the shop. There we are.

£3.69, please.

SHE SPEAKS GAELIC

The pie stand.

-Hi, there.

-Hello!

-Can I get that, please?

-Absolutely, you can. That's £3, please.

-Would you like a bag?

-No, no.

-Great.

-Thank you.

-Thank you!

-Thanks!

Chocolate cookies and date loaf.

-This was date loaf?

-Date loaf, yes.

Blackface mutton. Are your pies good? Are they good?

-They're very good! Mutton pies...

-I'm not very keen on mutton.

Have you ever tasted mutton?

Yeah, ages ago, but it wasn't, like, very good.

You'll be back for more!

-£1.80 for two.

-Cool.

-You might have converted me!

-I'll convert you, that's no problem.

-There we are, 20p.

-Thank you. Lovely, thanks.

-Could we try a little?

-Of course!

-This will be the strawberry one?

No, that's raspberry in that one.

Do you like raspberries? We'll find out in a second, won't we?

That's nice.

That's blaeberry.

Blaeberry.

-Do you know what blaeberries are?

-No, I was just thinking that.

All right, OK, here we go.

-I was just going to say, it looks like blueberry.

-It's a blueberry.

-You're right.

-Blueberries are good for you.

That's the guy that waved to me, the guy in the back.

They both waved at me!

-I'm very proud of her...

-Us!

I think we've done well. Lizzie really led the project.

Yeah, it was great fun to do

and I'm very proud of all the awards she's hopefully going to win. Yup.

CROWD CHATTER

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE

And now the nominations for Most Creative Production.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I'm a wee bit concerned, she's got wee tassely bits,

do you not think they could catch fire?

Do you know where the extinguisher is?

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Pretty Woman" by Roy Orbison

BAGPIPES PLAY

CUTLERY CLATTERS

There must be a hole in that bucket!

There's a hole in the bucket, dear Lisa!

HE LAUGHS

And then, at the end of the night, in spite of all the work I've done,

all the boys will say, "Thank Mairi very much. Mairi was great.

"Thank Mairi very much." There'll be no mention of me.

Oh, no-o-o!

SHE FEIGNS SOBBING

-Five o'clock on a Sunday morning.

-Oh, yes.

-Yes, it was really...

Really?!

Oh, the other thing I want to just sort out tonight is...

How many people in the choir can play an instrument to a good standard?

Um...no.

I'm not sure that your friend would agree

that it was to a good standard, but what about...

Shona, are you not...

A fiddler, yes.

What...fiddle?

Right, let's get on.

Hello, hello.

Hello. Hello.

That was very good.

Can I just ask that you don't have your eyes always on the books!

Subtitles for the deaf and hard-of-hearing by Red Bee Media Ltd