Les Dawson Talking Comedy


Les Dawson

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Les Dawson was the rubber-faced comedy master who started his career

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cracking one-liners and playing the piano on the northern club circuit.

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He found national fame in the late '60s on the television talent show

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Opportunity Knocks, and from that moment on,

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he had the British public laughing.

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Les looked funny, and he was funny, instinctively so.

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Interviewers over the years would struggle to get a serious word

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out of him. One who tried was Michael Parkinson.

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So, let's begin with a look at Parkie cracking up over

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territory that Les excelled in -

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laughter over language barriers and the classic mother-in-law joke.

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-You've done some work recently in Germany, haven't you?

-Oh...

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LAUGHTER

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Did you have to learn German for it or...?

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-Yeah, I tried.

-You tried?

-Yeah.

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But...how do you get the gags over?

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Well, that was the difficult part of it

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because when we got there...

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Before the show was actually due to go, two of us went to try

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and suss the scene out to see what they wanted.

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And the German mentality is something I had never previously

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come across because it's all...

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You know, faces really like flint.

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You know, no... Really hard. Unyielding.

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So they had a girl there with braided hair, you know,

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looked a bit like Danny La Rue. Awful.

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And she sat there and she said...

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IN GERMAN ACCENT: "You tell me what you're going to do, which is funny."

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"And I will tell all mein colleagues round the table."

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So, in this atmosphere, I said,

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"Well, the first thing we'd like to do is there is a man sweeping

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"the streets." She said...

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IMITATES GERMAN TRANSLATION: "Und man fastrausen sveiten wit da broomen."

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They all went, "Ja, ja, ja..."

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I said, "He looks one way." And this is what broke me. She said...

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IMITATES GERMAN: "Man who looks ein fart."

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LAUGHTER

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Which is... HE LAUGHS

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..which is German for one way. LAUGHTER

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And I said, "He then looks the other way." She said...

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IMITATES GERMAN: "Eins fart vie fart ubstrauss..."

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SPEECH DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER

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I said, "He then lifts up the pavement

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"and brushes the dirt underneath it."

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And there was a silence like the forgotten tomb.

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And she said... IN GERMAN ACCENT: "I think I should tell you

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"that in Germany, the pavements don't lift up."

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LAUGHTER Terrible!

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Oh...

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Oh...

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-Frightening, really was frightening.

-How did you survive it?

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-Only just?

-Yeah, we got through, actually.

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In fact... It's considered a mountainous area.

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They called it... You know, they're named after a mountain flower

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over there - the edelswine. LAUGHTER

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No, it went quite well.

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They put a top course on the Berlin Wall after that.

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-It really was frightening, it really was.

-Yeah.

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Because there... I mean, to tell a joke

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about the mother-in-law's brassiere...

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When I do a joke, I say, "I'm not saying she's a big woman,

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"but when she hangs her bras up to dry, a camel makes love to it."

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LAUGHTER

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In German...

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In German, this comes out like...

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IMITATES GERMAN: "Dies fies un wutas bustenhuten,

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"mitsa ain with a und feinfendersun."

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LAUGHTER

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By the time you've said it, you've forgotten the bloody thing.

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-LAUGHTER

-What's your mother-in-law...

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-I mean, you've got a mother-in-law, haven't you?

-Oh, yeah.

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She's...

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MICHAEL LAUGHS, LES SIGHS

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She's very nice, actually.

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She's very nice. She's got a face like a bag of spanners.

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LAUGHTER

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-Oh, good...

-She once went for a swim in Loch Ness

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and the monster got out and picketed the lake.

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LAUGHTER

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-LAUGHING:

-What does she...what does she think, though, about you?

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-I mean, does she...

-HE CRACKS UP

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Does she think you are a loving son-in-law?

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Oh, we... We get on ver... Really. Very well together.

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When we stay at her house, you know,

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which is decorated in early Dracula...

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LAUGHTER

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..she knows that I am personally very fond of pets.

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And you can bet your life when I go to bed every night,

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there's always a black widow spider in the corner.

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LAUGHTER She is a very big woman, you know?

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She has her knickers on a prescription.

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LAUGHTER

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-LAUGHING:

-Be serious for a...

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Be serious...

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-Daffy.

-Daft. It is daft. It's lovely.

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LAUGHTER

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-That was old... Who was that? That was old Norman...

-Norman Evans.

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-Norman Evans, yeah.

-You see, one of the beautiful things about...

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On the last series, we introduced these two old women in a launderette.

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But it is something peculiar to Lancashire the fact that

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when two women talk particularly of that age group,

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if there is anything at all which they consider risque or something...

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comparable to the female body,

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-they never finish the sentence.

-Hm.

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You see... So, you'll get...

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How are... How's things?

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I'm... HE MOUTHS

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I believe she's near her time.

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Oh, yes.

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I believe she had a... MOUTHS: stroke.

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LAUGHTER

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And they never finish the sentence!

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LAUGHTER

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It was really most peculiar, and they used to get things mixed up.

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I may quote one thing that Peter Maloney from Liverpool thought.

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-It's very true.

-Oh, he's a funny man.

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About the woman in hospital and the chap said, "How are you?"

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She said, "I've been very ill, you know?" MOUTHS: Very ill.

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She said, "That was my time of life...

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HE MOUTHS, LAUGHTER

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He said, "It's a very serious operation.

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"It's called a hysterical rectum." LAUGHTER

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Beautiful, isn't it? HE LAUGHS

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-It does you good to have a laugh.

-Hey!

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LAUGHTER

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The pleasure in watching Les Dawson wasn't just about the jokes.

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There was also the sound of his sentences

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and the way he used words like a human thesaurus.

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He discussed this in a programme from 1977 called Word For Word

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with interviewer Vicky Payne.

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Noel Coward made Clapham funny.

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Private Eye made Neasden funny.

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King George VI made Bognor funny.

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but could anyone raise a laugh by saying London? And if not, why not?

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Les Dawson has some theories.

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Les Dawson, do you indeed have theories?

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Why do we, perhaps, laugh at words or place names like Neasden or

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-Dollis Hill?

-I think it's the softness of the word in question.

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London is a very soft word. It's a very soft sound, therefore it's...

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it's more of a tenderness almost.

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There's a fondness about saying London or Landand.

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If you say Ormskirk,

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it's Descartes, straight to the point. Ormskirk.

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Goole - you can't soften Goole.

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So, if you want to build any sort of line on, say, Goole,

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you wouldn't say, "He was an ex-religious leader from London."

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It wouldn't sound very funny.

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But if you said, "He was a lapsed Methodist from Goole,"

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then it starts become funny.

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Do people in the North laugh at places in the South

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and do we in the South laugh at places in the North?

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Oh, I should think so, yeah.

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We find Watford seems a fairly strange name.

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I fell in love with... You know, with a...

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I used to do a gag where I used to... I went...

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I met the wife at a discount store in Watford.

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I went in for a lampshade and I said, "What do you take off for cash?"

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She said, "Everything but my earrings."

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What about individual...

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It's not true... SHE LAUGHS

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What about individual words as opposed to place names?

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Can individual words be intrinsically funny on their own?

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Oh, yeah. For instance, a marvellous description of a dirty pond -

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so I threw the stick into the depths

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and the smell that emerged was positively mauve.

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And it summed it all up.

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You obviously think very hard about the gag itself

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and about the punchline.

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Do you think equally hard about the order in which you put

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the words to achieve the best effect?

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Oh, yes, this can happen...

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I used to do a gag in the act which never got a laugh.

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I forget how I used to word it properly now,

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but I used to say, "I wouldn't say my father was lazy,

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"but during the hunger march from Jarrow in the '30s,

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"he was the only one singing." The way I used put it before,

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"He used to sing when he was unemployed," so I just switched

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the thing round and got more of a laugh.

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And by the same token, do we laugh at the same words in the South as...

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-Oh, yes.

-..in the North?

-Oh, you are slightly more...

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-You're getting educated down here. It's quite true.

-Thank you very much.

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Oh, you are, definitely. It's on the increase.

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You wouldn't alter your act according to whether you were

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playing in the North or the South?

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No, I die in the North and the South equally as well as the other.

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Makes no difference to me.

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Going back to names, we mentioned place names, do you think

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individual Christian names are funny?

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Or surnames or names together?

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Well, yes, I think, you know, you can say, for instance,

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that our love affair was born on the shores of Geneva as the sunlight

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dappled the waters into fragmentations of patterns

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and I turned to Miriam... And you know, I think the word Miriam

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after this build-up... HE MUTTERS

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Probably some very nice Miriams in Ealing.

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I wouldn't know, but I think that sort of thing, yeah.

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They are not meant to be terribly funny.

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It's the ring, the connotation you put them in

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or the situation you put them in.

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Les Dawson, thank you very much indeed for...

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-Will you send the check on?

-I'll send the check on.

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That's a very funny word at the BBC.

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..for coming on to us. Thank you very much.

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Been a pleasure to be in this cupboard.

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By the mid-'80s, Dawson was well-established as one

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of the nation's favourite entertainers, which made him

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the perfect guest for Roy Plomley's television version

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of Desert Island Discs called Favourite Things

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and here he is discussing the origins of his routine

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and his love of writing.

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Where did you spend your childhood, Les? Where do you come from?

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-Originally, Manchester.

-Hm.

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Yes, it was hard childhood in many ways.

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Mainly because, although it's difficult for you,

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I know, looking at this magnificent profile,

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but oddly enough, I was an incredibly ugly baby.

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In fact, I was so ugly,

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they had to give the midwife gas and air before she delivered me.

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My own mother used to look at me often in the cot

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and she'd say to my father, "I don't know what to make of him,"

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and my father used to say, "Have you thought of a rug?"

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But basically we were a poor, but poverty-stricken family.

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-You had an ambition to write.

-Yeah.

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What did you want to write?

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Er, essays.

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-Why essays, Les?

-I don't know. I liked words.

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I think the only one I was ever proud...

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I went to Paris to write them.

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I used to want to write things in the vein like Elia, Lamb,

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or something like this. You know, lovely prose, sort of thing.

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Or, "Frost hanging delicately from sodden leaves,"

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or something like this, you know?

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Tell me about Paris. You wanted to have a sort of Left Bank existence.

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Well, I thought Paris was the place to gravitate to.

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I mean, it's not really. If you're going to write a novel,

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you should do it in Bradford because there are too many distractions

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-in Paris, you know?

-How long were you there?

-About 18 months, actually.

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Why did you come back? Why did you leave Paris?

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I was broke.

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Is Paris a favourite thing you go back to?

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Oh, I think Paris is a lovely city, yeah.

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To me, it's like a spoilt woman, Paris, you know?

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-I love Paris. It's very nice.

-Hm.

-It's wasted on the French totally.

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So, you'd done some piano playing in the army and in Paris,

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when did comicking come into it?

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Well, I used to play on the piano and sing

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and tell a few gags especially when I sang and played the piano.

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The act in those days was dreadful. I mean, it really was.

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-Would you like to see a little gobbet, would you?

-I'd love to, yes.

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-What did you do?

-Well, this is...

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You sat yourself at the piano?

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Well, I found it more comfortable that way.

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And this was the sort of thing I used to do.

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"Hi..." With this terrible grimace,

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with all the fillings showing.

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Cos I've got quite a few fillings, you know?

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-In fact, my gums have got metal fatigue.

-Oh, yes.

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And I go "Hi there! I just love being here, ladies and gentlemen.

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"I'm going to play you a little song and I hope you like it."

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HE SINGS INCOHERENTLY

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-And I used to get paid off.

-Yes, I can...

-Quite regularly.

-Mm-hm.

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And then after that, I was living in London for quite some time.

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I was living in a cubicle with a plug point that passed as a flat.

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And I went round to all the clubs and so and all the agents

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and got the usual thing, you know, "We'll let you know."

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"We'll ring you," which was hard to do cos I ain't got a phone.

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That didn't dawn on me for months after.

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And I went to see an agent - Al Heath, his name was,

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and he still is in existence.

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-And he gave me a week's booking for 16 quid in Hull.

-Yes.

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-Have you ever been to Hull?

-Doing that same act?

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Totally.

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To all of these hardened fisherfolk.

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Men with salt creased into the lines of their faces. Hard men.

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And on I went, "I just want to say what a great pleasure to be in Hull.

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"I had been here before, but it was shut."

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-See? Which got roars of silence.

-Of course.

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You know, I was getting crouching ovations.

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And on the Wednesday, it began to dawn on me

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that by this time, failure was a stark reality.

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Really fail. I mean, I was lucky.

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I mean, my only ambition in those days were for luxuries in life,

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like bread in my shoes.

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You know, I think it was getting worse. And on the Thursday...

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I did the time-honoured mistake,

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although in this case it worked, of going for a few drinks.

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-And I drank more than I should have done.

-Right.

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This is before your show?

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And that night at the piano,

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"It's a great pleasure to be in this kipper depot."

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And I found that I was playing off key.

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HE PLAYS DISSONANT NOTES You know, terrible things like that.

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I started telling about my life and about how bad things were.

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For the first time in my chequered career,

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somebody clapped in the corner,

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a little bald-headed man clapped in the corner.

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I said, "Thank you for clapping."

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He said, "I'm not clapping. "I'm slapping my head to keep awake."

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But then I started to get a few laughs and that's how it started.

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So, I owe Hull quite a lot, actually.

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In 1984, Les became host of the popular game show Blankety Blank.

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He spent six years on the show.

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During this time, he lost his first wife Margaret to cancer,

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suffered his own health problems, married his second wife Tracy

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and wrote a biography that he would shamelessly plug in this

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appearance on The Wogan Show.

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-So how do you feel, Ter?

-I'm OK. You look very fit.

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Well, I feel fit, actually. I'm a great believer in exercise.

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LAUGHTER

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-Can't be bad, the band laughed.

-No, no.

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If you'd like to use the phrase band.

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Know what? LAUGHTER

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Don't start them off. Don't...

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I've had to put up with them for six weeks. Listen, it's not...

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I know a lot of people think it in the audience,

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but everybody just leaps up and down today.

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-That's the thing to be fit.

-Hm.

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But take the turtle.

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In the South Sea, there are turtles that live 200 years of age.

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What does a turtle do?

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It crawls.

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-Doesn't it?

-Mm-hm.

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And it does nothing else.

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Now, that's exercise.

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-LAUGHTER No.

-Oh, please.

0:15:140:15:18

I believe and every morning, I wake up, I go,

0:15:180:15:20

"One, two, three. Up, one, two, three. Down, one, two, three."

0:15:200:15:24

Then the other eyelid.

0:15:240:15:25

LAUGHTER

0:15:250:15:28

Fit as a fiddle and every artery is as solid as a rock.

0:15:290:15:32

It's too much rubbish talked about exercise.

0:15:320:15:35

Sloth is the key to life.

0:15:350:15:37

Doing nothing as I've written in the book!

0:15:380:15:41

LAUGHTER

0:15:410:15:43

Giving things up. Yes, seriously.

0:15:430:15:46

But don't you even take a little gentle exer...?

0:15:460:15:48

I mean, you potter about in the garden?

0:15:480:15:49

Well, there's nothing wrong with... What's wrong with pot...?

0:15:490:15:53

-Well, nowadays, gardening is bad for you.

-Is it?

-Oh, yes.

0:15:530:15:56

The only way to get over gardening is...

0:15:560:15:58

Particularly for a married man, cos women are obsessed

0:15:580:16:02

with the idea that a man should be doing something.

0:16:020:16:04

Wives don't like somebody who sits there.

0:16:040:16:07

-There's something wrong.

-Yeah.

-You see?

-Yeah.

0:16:070:16:09

So what you do is you buy a small plant

0:16:090:16:12

and you put it in the garden and you deliberately pull

0:16:120:16:16

the leaves off so the thing looks as though it's dying.

0:16:160:16:19

She comes out and says...

0:16:190:16:21

LAUGHTER

0:16:210:16:23

MOUTHS: What's wrong with this?

0:16:230:16:25

You say, "I don't know, I haven't got green fingers." She says,

0:16:250:16:28

"Well, your neck's a funny colour,

0:16:280:16:30

but that's got nothing to do with it."

0:16:300:16:32

That was a joke to put Ter at ease. LAUGHTER

0:16:320:16:34

Then you by another plant

0:16:340:16:36

and you say to her, "Well, you have a go at the first plant,"

0:16:360:16:39

and she pours a little water over it.

0:16:390:16:41

Now, you get up at four o'clock in the morning, you sneak out,

0:16:410:16:44

put a chloroform pad over her first.

0:16:440:16:46

You sneak out and you change the flowers over.

0:16:460:16:49

So the new flower has grown.

0:16:490:16:51

And she says, "There you are, love. In future, I'll do the gardening."

0:16:510:16:54

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:16:540:16:57

What a rascal!

0:16:590:17:00

Yes!

0:17:000:17:01

-Another fine mess.

-It's all there.

0:17:020:17:05

What about the grouting and the rendering and the DIY

0:17:050:17:08

and that kind of stuff?

0:17:080:17:09

Well, you must always avoid that like the plague.

0:17:090:17:13

Always keep away from do-it-yourself.

0:17:130:17:15

You don't fancy extending the house or...?

0:17:150:17:18

No, because you see the trouble is you have people in...

0:17:180:17:20

If you have builders in to do the house up,

0:17:200:17:23

the first thing they will do is they will go, "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

0:17:230:17:26

Now, you've lived in that house for years.

0:17:260:17:29

You are proud of it, it's your domain.

0:17:290:17:31

It's where your children have their nest.

0:17:310:17:33

And you are happy with that house.

0:17:330:17:35

Suddenly, this fella comes in with overalls,

0:17:350:17:38

takes a few measurements and goes, "Tsk, tsk, tsk."

0:17:380:17:41

And then he sighs. They all go... HE SIGHS

0:17:410:17:45

Which means that for years, you've been living in a Gothic slum

0:17:450:17:48

and you didn't know it. LAUGHTER

0:17:480:17:50

So, you've got to keep well away from that. What you do, you go to

0:17:500:17:53

a theatrical agency and find an actor who has not worked for years, right?

0:17:530:17:56

Or even Lionel Blair, somebody like that.

0:17:560:17:58

LAUGHTER

0:17:580:18:00

Get them to come round and say, "What a magnificent house!

0:18:000:18:04

"You would be a fool to change it."

0:18:040:18:07

Leave it as it is. LAUGHTER

0:18:070:18:11

It's the art of getting no stress.

0:18:110:18:13

Stress-free life. But then, why get married?

0:18:130:18:18

If you want a stress-free life? And you've just done that.

0:18:180:18:22

-Well, yes, you've got a good point there. I'm very lucky.

-Yeah?

0:18:220:18:27

Yes, she does...

0:18:270:18:28

I mean, she does things her way

0:18:280:18:30

and I do things her way. LAUGHTER

0:18:300:18:33

-Does she nag?

-She never nags.

0:18:350:18:37

I've found the perfect answer to nagging.

0:18:370:18:40

It's called half a brick. No!

0:18:400:18:43

No, she doesn't nag at all.

0:18:430:18:44

-We get guidance. I get guidance off Tracy.

-Do you?

0:18:440:18:47

Yes, she guides me very gently. TERRY LAUGHS

0:18:470:18:50

No, there's no stress at all. It's...

0:18:500:18:52

I'm so happy. LAUGHTER

0:18:520:18:57

It's just lovely to be on the show.

0:18:580:19:00

It's like being on the Titanic being on the show.

0:19:000:19:02

LAUGHTER, HE BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY

0:19:020:19:05

-Such a quality act!

-What?

0:19:050:19:08

I never knew you had an audience, and I was right.

0:19:080:19:11

Now, listen.

0:19:110:19:12

Doesn't she take you shopping... You go shopping with her.

0:19:120:19:15

Now, come on, don't tell me you get out of that.

0:19:150:19:17

Well, that's quite easy shopping. That's very easy to avoid that.

0:19:170:19:20

-Yes?

-You see, the trouble with women is, economically,

0:19:200:19:22

-and I've said this many times and I'll say it again...

-Thank goodness.

0:19:220:19:25

..they're tremendous economists.

0:19:250:19:29

You see, I am very lucky with Tracy.

0:19:290:19:30

Not many men in the audience tonight could say the same thing. She saves

0:19:300:19:33

me every time she goes shopping...

0:19:330:19:35

Like the other week, she went to Harrods and she came back

0:19:350:19:39

and she had saved me £80.

0:19:390:19:41

That's terrific.

0:19:430:19:44

It only cost me 200. But she had saved me 80.

0:19:440:19:48

You see, so I'm lucky.

0:19:480:19:49

LAUGHTER

0:19:490:19:52

Yeah. I'm lucky.

0:19:520:19:53

And you believe in letting it all hang out, don't you?

0:19:530:19:56

You've always been one of those. I was saying...

0:19:560:19:58

Well, no, the police are getting very interested in that. Sorry?

0:19:580:20:00

I'm just saying, you are known in the business as the stud,

0:20:000:20:03

-apart from anything else and you do...

-Really?

0:20:030:20:07

You haven't... You haven't restricted your...

0:20:080:20:10

LAUGHTER

0:20:100:20:12

You haven't restricted...

0:20:120:20:14

ROARING LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:20:140:20:19

You haven't...

0:20:220:20:24

I mean, you had a small illness there...

0:20:240:20:27

LAUGHTER

0:20:270:20:29

You had a small illness some time ago.

0:20:290:20:31

Now, you must've had the doctor go round and say,

0:20:310:20:33

"Now, look, cut down on the...cut down on the fags,

0:20:330:20:36

"cut down on the drinking, cut down on the eating."

0:20:360:20:39

You mean, you've just taken no notice?

0:20:390:20:41

Well, that's not absolutely true.

0:20:420:20:44

They all gave me these... Except...

0:20:440:20:46

As everybody knows in the audience, if you've had a slight illness,

0:20:460:20:50

straightaway there seems to be a power surrounding us,

0:20:500:20:55

which suddenly predetermines that you are now suspect for every germ,

0:20:550:20:59

microbe that ever coexisted on this planet.

0:20:590:21:03

You're going to get it, so first of all, the greybeards come round

0:21:030:21:07

and they look at the size of you, the weight.

0:21:070:21:09

First of all, they looked at my stomach,

0:21:090:21:12

which we all have to do cos that's the way it is. That had to go.

0:21:120:21:15

They said, "You'll have to diet." I said, "What colour?"

0:21:150:21:17

I did all the gags, it didn't make any difference.

0:21:170:21:19

First of all, lose weight.

0:21:190:21:22

Don't smoke, don't drink and breathing can be difficult

0:21:220:21:26

because there's toxic fumes in the air.

0:21:260:21:29

So, what do you do, Terry?

0:21:290:21:31

-I don't know.

-You come on the show. No!

0:21:310:21:33

LAUGHTER

0:21:330:21:35

All you can do is do what you think is right. So, I didn't do anything.

0:21:350:21:40

I've given up the fags. I smoke cigars now.

0:21:400:21:41

Didn't you have some technique with the doctor of the suits?

0:21:410:21:45

Oh, yeah.

0:21:450:21:46

I put this in the book, and I hope you don't mind me plugging the book.

0:21:460:21:50

No.

0:21:510:21:53

The idea is, and this is a worthwhile tip...

0:21:530:21:56

Appearances matter to everybody.

0:21:570:22:00

So you buy a suit that is slightly too small and they go,

0:22:000:22:05

"You are a mess. You look like a frankfurter about to burst." Huh.

0:22:050:22:10

Now, your other suit that you buy fits,

0:22:100:22:13

but it's just a bit too big.

0:22:130:22:15

Now, the doctor says,

0:22:150:22:18

"You've listened."

0:22:180:22:19

LAUGHTER

0:22:190:22:22

You've been on the F-plan. You've listened.

0:22:220:22:24

You've spent your time in the loo. You've listened.

0:22:240:22:27

You've got rid of all that toxic waste. You are now a person.

0:22:270:22:29

You're going thin, and to be thin today means to be healthy.

0:22:290:22:32

And you feel great because he doesn't know that the suit is a bit bigger.

0:22:320:22:35

Now, the third suit has got to be enormous...

0:22:370:22:39

LAUGHTER

0:22:390:22:40

..and preferably with a hat that is too big.

0:22:400:22:44

Now, when you go to see him, he says, "My God, you've gone too far!"

0:22:440:22:47

LAUGHTER

0:22:470:22:50

"Get some steak and chips down you straight away."

0:22:500:22:52

And you are back to square one. LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:22:520:22:56

It's true!

0:22:560:22:58

And you... Despite all you say,

0:23:030:23:04

you are an old traditionalist at heart, aren't you?

0:23:040:23:07

You're going to do panto. Jack And The Beanstalk.

0:23:070:23:09

Jack And The Beanstalk at Sunderland, yes.

0:23:090:23:11

WILD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

0:23:110:23:14

IN NORTHERN ACCENT: They'll be great. We're great.

0:23:140:23:18

Two nice people - Rose Marie and Diamond and Layton, a nice team.

0:23:180:23:21

So, it's been a busy year with the book and the...

0:23:210:23:23

You're doing it to avoid the in-laws, aren't you?

0:23:230:23:25

The panto.

0:23:250:23:26

-No, my in-laws are fabulous.

-Are they?

0:23:260:23:29

Oh, you're joking, yeah. Well, I'm a bit...

0:23:290:23:32

Well, you've got a nice show going. I don't know why I should...

0:23:330:23:36

LAUGHTER

0:23:360:23:38

The wife's mother went to Sydney last week to see her sister

0:23:380:23:42

who works over there as a brick layer.

0:23:420:23:45

And they apparently went swimming off of Bondi Beach and...

0:23:450:23:50

the wife's mother was attacked by a great white shark.

0:23:500:23:53

You know, they pulled her out, all night they worked in the hospital,

0:23:550:23:58

but it was too late, the shark died.

0:23:580:24:01

LAUGHTER

0:24:010:24:04

I sort of had a feeling that it would.

0:24:060:24:09

Everybody is very pleased that you are so happily remarried

0:24:090:24:12

and that Tracy, your wife, is looking after you so well.

0:24:120:24:15

-Well, we've still got the wedding present.

-Have you?

0:24:150:24:17

Yeah, it still ticking away there. TERRY LAUGHS

0:24:170:24:20

Ladies and gentlemen, my friend Les Dawson.

0:24:200:24:23

APPLAUSE

0:24:230:24:26

Four years after that appearance in 1993,

0:24:300:24:34

Les died of a sudden heart attack.

0:24:340:24:37

He was 62.

0:24:370:24:39

Since then, he has been cited as a major influence

0:24:390:24:42

and inspiration for many of today's comedians.

0:24:420:24:46

So, let's end with one of the routines that made his peers

0:24:460:24:50

and the public fall for him so heavily.

0:24:500:24:54

It's from a 1976 appearance on Parkinson with Les playing up

0:24:540:24:59

whilst playing the piano.

0:24:590:25:01

We will start off with Side By Side, so let's hear you sing. You ready?

0:25:030:25:06

Raise the roof. It won't take much doing, the guttering's on the inside.

0:25:060:25:11

HE PLAYS, AUDIENCE SINGS FEEBLY

0:25:110:25:16

Now, wait a minute. LAUGHTER

0:25:160:25:19

This sounds like an asthma clinic.

0:25:190:25:21

Try it again. You haven't paid. Go on.

0:25:210:25:23

HE PLAYS

0:25:230:25:26

AUDIENCE SINGS That's it!

0:25:260:25:30

HE PLAYS OUT OF TUNE

0:25:300:25:34

Oh, come on! Come on!

0:25:440:25:47

Try this one. The bells are ringing For Me And My Gal.

0:25:470:25:51

HE PLAYS OUT OF TUNE AUDIENCE SINGS ALONG

0:25:540:25:56

That's it!

0:25:560:25:57

That's the idea. Keep it up.

0:26:020:26:05

# For me and my gal... #

0:26:050:26:07

HE CONTINUES PLAYING OUT OF TUNE AUDIENCE SINGS ALONG

0:26:070:26:12

It just flows. HE PLAYS OUT OF TUNE

0:26:120:26:16

# For me and my gal... #

0:26:280:26:31

My father always told me, "If you can play the piano, son,

0:26:340:26:36

you'll never be short of a bob or two."

0:26:360:26:38

Wrong. LAUGHTER

0:26:380:26:41

HE CONTINUES TO PLAY OUT OF TUNE

0:26:450:26:47

Marvellous! APPLAUSE

0:26:580:27:01

His fingers at the keys and the audience in the palm of his hand,

0:27:120:27:16

that was a comedy master at work.

0:27:160:27:18

No wonder that Les Dawson is known as one of Britain's best-ever,

0:27:180:27:22

best-loved funny men.

0:27:220:27:24

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